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(theme music playing)
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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(whistle blows)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(jazzy solo)
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(chimes)
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(tires screeching)
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(honking horn)
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D'oh!
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(screams)
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(tires screeching)
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(children laughing)
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{\an8}Whee!
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{\an8}Catch!
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{\an8}Principal Skinner, what would you say
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{\an8}is the most important firefighting tool?
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{\an8}Would you say it's prevention?
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{\an8}Oh, absolutely, Lisa.
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{\an8}That and the sand bucket.
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{\an8}What's that stuff?
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Why, this is retardant.
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(laughing) Sure is.
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And what's that?
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That's called a hose lengthener.
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{\an8}(laughing) You need one.
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{\an8}-SKINNER: Oh.
-What's this?
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{\an8}Just read the label.
It's a king-sized flamer!
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{\an8}(laughing hysterically)
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{\an8}Bart, will you go bother someone else?
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{\an8}Look! A fire... engine.
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{\an8}Stop that!
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{\an8}Help! Help! Fire... Helmets.
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{\an8}Can't you do something constructive?
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{\an8}Sure, I can do something destructive.
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{\an8}(groaning)
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{\an8}Just say the word,
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{\an8}and I'll drive this hoe in his back!
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{\an8}I can make it look like suicide.
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{\an8}Hmm. And I want a bike, and a monkey,
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{\an8}and a friend for the monkey--
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{\an8}You're not gonna start any fires, are you?
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{\an8}At my house, we call 'em "uh-ohs."
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{\an8}Hi, fire doggie. Can you do any tricks?
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{\an8}Tricks? That's rich.
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{\an8}He's so inbred, he can barely stand up.
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{\an8}(whimpers)
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{\an8}Fire can be our servant
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{\an8}Whether it's toasting s'mores
or raining down on Charlie.
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{\an8}But it can turn not so nice,
as you'll see in this skit...
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by the volunteer fire department players.
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(scattered applause)
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{\an8}(chuckles)
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{\an8}What a great pot party!
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{\an8}Wasn't it, man?
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{\an8}Now for a regular cigarette
to make the night complete.
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{\an8}(coughs) Oh!
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{\an8}(chuckles) Man, that's good.
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{\an8}Mad Dog, I've been thinking...
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{\an8}Maybe we should get another smoke detector
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{\an8}in case that one trips out on us.
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{\an8}(chuckling) Why bother, baby?
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{\an8}One smoke detector's enough for Mad Dog.
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{\an8}Now, let's hit the sack.
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{\an8}(exhales, snores)
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{\an8}Whoa! Check it out! Mad Dog's on fire!
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{\an8}Stop, drop and roll, man!
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{\an8}(chuckling) That's for Clydes, baby.
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A little fire can't hurt you.
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But Mad Dog was wrong.
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The fire burned through the night
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and cost him the use of his pants.
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-Which just goes to show you--
-Huh?
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-(gasps)
-Sorry to break character...
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but these stunt pants
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are gettin' pretty toasty!
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Ah. Roll, Neddie! Roll!
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(laughter)
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It's not workin'!
It just spreads the flame!
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Get the fire hose. Get the fire hose!
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What's it doing in the gymnasium?
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Yee-haw!
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Bart, have you lost your-- (yells)
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(both yelling)
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(yelling)
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(groans, sputters)
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(laughing hysterically)
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Bart Simpson!
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You've really done it this time.
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Yeah. It all kind of came together.
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(squeaking)
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(grunting)
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(sighs)
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(grunts)
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Thank you for coming.
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Thank you for getting me out of work.
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I'll be blunt. Bart's latest escapade goes
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far beyond the realm of the high jink.
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There. Now the floor is as good as new.
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(groans) My sport goggles!
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Your son is a ravenous demon,
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relentlessly gnawing at all
that's good and true.
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(chuckles) Yeah, he's something else,
all right.
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But worst of all,
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he drags down the grades
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of anyone who sits near him.
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{\an8}Just look at this pattern.
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HOMER: Hey, that looks like Bart.
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And turning to the 3-D map,
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we see an unmistakable cone of ignorance.
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Put it away! Put it away!
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Very well. But there's
no escaping the truth.
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Bart has a classic case
of attention deficit disorder.
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You mean like John Leguizamo?
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How should I know? The point is
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ADD makes children restless
and easily distracted.
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Hi, Marge. It's me, Homer.
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(clears throat)
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What? Time to go?
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Please, Mr. Simpson.
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-I'm afraid I'll have to expel your son--
-(gasps)
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Unless you're willing to try a radical,
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untested, potentially dangerous--
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-Candy bar?
-No!
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It's a new drug called Focusyn.
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A drug?
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I know Bart can be rambunctious,
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but he's not some hyperactive monster.
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BART: Gimme an "F"!
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-(gasps) Good lord!
-Gimme an "art"!
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He's gotten into the pep closet.
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I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet.
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(chuckles)
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I don't want to pump
my little boy full of drugs.
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Yeah, yeah, we get a lot of that.
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But then they see our results.
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These are normal guinea pigs
running around like idiots.
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(all squealing)
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Now I'll give them some Focusyn.
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(gasps) That's amazing...
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and darling.
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Check this out.
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(soft squealing)
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They become your slaves.
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Yes.
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But it's not about slavery.
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It's about helping kids concentrate.
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This pill reduces class clownism 44%...
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With 60% less sass mouth.
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The only thing more effective
is regular exercise.
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(shudders)
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(Bart grunting)
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-Shred it! Shred it!
-(indistinct shouting)
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Extra gloves. Extra gloves.
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Mushroom bonus. Reload.
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(groans) How will we get
Bart to take these?
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It's all about trust, honey.
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Ow! Knock it off!.
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Homer, we agreed we'd discuss
the medication with Bart.
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Medication?
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Some special helpers
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that'll make you a good boy.
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I don't want to take drugs.
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Sure you do.
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All your favorite stars have used drugs.
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Brett Butler, Tim Allen--
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-Tommy Lee.
-Andy Dick.
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-He's just flamboyant.
-Yeah, and I'm a size four.
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Dad, I admit I have some problems,
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but drugs aren't the answer.
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-Why, you little--
-(screaming)
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-(grunts)
-Oh.
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Son, let's forget
all about that drug thing.
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Why don't you just come down
and have some taffy?
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Nice try, Homer.
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Just take one bite.
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If you're not 100% different--
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Ow! Geez, what's the big deal?
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Look, I'll even eat some.
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Now-- Hmm?
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(gibberish)
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Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, Daddy?
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Looks like it. Run and get
Daddy's exorcism tongs.
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-Yay!
-Yay!
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(gibberish continues)
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Honey, if you don't want
to take the medicine,
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we won't force you.
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Really?
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Yes, I just thought
you might love me enough
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to let me help you.
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Oh, Mom!
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All right. I'll do it for you.
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(gulps)
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Way to guilt him, Marge.
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It's what I do.
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(gibberish)
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Good morning, honey.
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Mmm! How's my special little guy?
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I'm having some side effects
from the dope.
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It's not dope!
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It's something to help you concentrate.
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All I know is my testicles
won't fit in my underwear.
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Bart, get those oranges out of there.
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(laughing)
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Back in the lunches you go.
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Ew, Mom!
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-Oh, grow up.
-Yeah.
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I have to take these
stupid pills twice a day.
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I'll trade you a Claritin for one.
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00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,065
Claritin-D?
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00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,067
-Nah.
-Can't help you.
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00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,693
I take hormones to lower my voice.
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Now all I want to do is fight.
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00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,364
What are you lookin' at?
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00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,907
You think you got it bad?
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00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,492
I gotta wear a shock collar.
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-Ooh!
-That's rough.
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00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,371
-(screams)
-What was that for?
220
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,540
I thought about a girl I like.
221
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,375
All right, class, who would like to read
222
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,835
-The Daffodils by Wordsworth?
-I'll do it.
223
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,755
No, thank you, Mr. Wisenheimer. Sherri?
224
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,174
"I wandered lonely as a cloud...
225
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,677
that floats on high
o'er vales and hills--"
226
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,679
Hey, look at those dogs going at it!
227
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,305
I want to see 'em! I wanna see 'em!
228
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,224
Fightin' over a fan belt.
229
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,518
Dogs are outstanding.
230
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,396
All right, people, we've
all seen the dogs now,
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00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:24,605
so-- (gasps)
232
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,399
-What?
-You're still in your seat.
233
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,818
Well, it's not like
I never saw a dog before.
234
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,695
(thinking) That doesn't sound like me.
235
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,321
Could it be the drug kicking in?
236
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,699
I am feeling an urge
to straighten up and fly right.
237
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,120
Come on, people. This poetry
isn't gonna appreciate itself.
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00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,080
(applause on TV)
239
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,749
What a lovely day in the park.
240
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A perfect place to meet a lady.
241
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Ooh, la, la! It's sideshow Melanie!
242
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,638
-(laughter)
-Hey, what's goin' on?
243
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,224
Hey, this thing's cuttin' off my air!
244
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,351
(laughter)
245
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,312
(grunting)
246
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,563
Oh!
247
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:06,689
{\an8}What are you doing to me?
248
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,733
{\an8}I said start it at 60 rpm.
249
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,277
{\an8}Then move it up to 100 on the skirt blow!
250
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,612
Sorry, Krusty, I choked.
251
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,614
-You choked? You choked?
-Ahh!
252
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,073
Bart! Bart!
253
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,284
Krusty just fired his associate producer.
254
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,493
I'm reading.
255
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,579
No way.
256
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,749
"The 7 Habits Of
Highly Effective Pre-Teens"?
257
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:28,002
Is this all because of the--
(gulps, groans)
258
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,754
Joke if you will, but did you know
259
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,964
most people use 10% of their brains?
260
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,841
I am now one of them.
261
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,843
Before, my energy was all over the place.
262
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,346
Now, it's concentrated like a laser beam.
263
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,265
Well, this has been terrific.
Let's do it again sometime.
264
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,850
Are you standing up to get me to leave?
265
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,226
It's from the book.
266
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,437
Hey, I'm not a time burglar.
267
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,981
"Memo to self... Lock door."
268
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,316
All right, I'll go.
269
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,151
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
270
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,196
"Memo to self... Shut up, Lisa."
271
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,280
(shouts)
272
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,825
Hmm.
273
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,828
"Thank you in advance
for a world-class meal.
274
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,831
You're an inspiration
to our entire organization.
275
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,500
Thank you again. Bart."
276
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,919
Oh, what a lovely gesture.
277
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,339
Cost of paper, five cents.
A mother's love, priceless.
278
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,340
Aw...
279
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,466
-Do I get a card?
-No,
280
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,301
{\an8}but here's a book called
Chicken Soup for the Loser
281
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,302
{\an8}that gave Bill Buckner the courage
282
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,012
{\an8}to open a chain of laundromats.
283
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:23,516
Hmm. My career has kind of lost momentum.
284
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,768
I think it's the bright blue pants.
285
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,895
I mean, (scoffs) you're not
on a golf course.
286
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,773
Well, I have been thinking
about making them into cutoffs.
287
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,692
(crow caws)
288
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,318
I tell you, the kid's a wonder.
289
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,946
He organized all the lawsuits against me
290
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,948
into one class action.
291
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,117
That's gonna save
all kinds of travel time.
292
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,994
You know it. Plus, he gave me
this appointment dealy.
293
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,579
{\an8}It's got my whole week in there.
294
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,872
-(Lenny whistles)
-CARL: Sweet.
295
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,749
This thing'll do anything. Watch.
296
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,377
I'll ask it how many leagues
in a furlong. No, wait.
297
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,213
I'll make it say, "what's
a-matter, you?" in Turkish.
298
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,840
{\an8}(computerized voice
speaking foreign language)
299
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,300
{\an8}And look at this! A cheese grater!
300
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,678
Man, technology's amazing.
301
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,264
A guy could do great things
with a gadget like that.
302
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,473
Well, if you want one, they sell 'em at--
303
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,851
Yeah, a guy could do great things.
304
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,728
(slurping)
305
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,733
The boy's still studying?
306
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,234
Can you believe it?
307
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:18,237
And he's even tutoring
a little Navajo boy.
308
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,990
And why did Humpty Dumpty
have a great fall?
309
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,993
Because he took his eyes off the prize?
310
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,411
That's right. You stay on the ball,
311
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:26,579
you stay on the wall.
312
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,748
He's gone from goofus to gallant.
313
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,834
And we owe it all to mind-bending pills.
314
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:32,877
Mwah.
315
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,045
Bart's so well-behaved now.
316
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,089
Maybe you and I can have a night out.
317
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,966
Ooh! Let's go to the water park!
318
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,760
My 10-year ban ended yesterday.
319
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:45,222
I was thinking of something
a little more... adult.
320
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,307
(whispering)
321
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,017
Oh, Marge!
322
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,686
And then afterwards--
(whispering continues)
323
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,188
(giggles) Really?
324
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,773
With butterscotch on it?
325
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,566
I think you misheard me.
326
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,279
You've got more talent than
any dancer I've ever seen,
327
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,198
And you're throwing it all away!
328
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,366
Screw you! Screw everybody!
329
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,578
All right, girls, tops off. It's showtime!
330
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,288
(moans)
331
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,915
Marge, this is the greatest gift
332
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,000
any wife has ever given her husband.
333
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,210
I thought you'd like it.
334
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,628
And I'm enjoying the friendship
335
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,755
between showgirl and that seamstress.
336
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,757
-Pipe down!
-Yes. Hush up.
337
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,675
-You hush up!
-Quiet, everybody!
338
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,886
Shut up, or I'll pound all of ya!
339
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,137
(yells)
340
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,431
{\an8}That was fun!
341
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,849
{\an8}We have to get out more often.
342
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,017
{\an8}I heard about a new bar
343
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,602
{\an8}where men dance with men.
344
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,103
{\an8}Doesn't that sound adorable?
345
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,314
{\an8}Well, sure, if it's true.
346
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,316
{\an8}(gasps) Is that Lisa?
347
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,156
I'm so glad you're here.
Bart's really acting funny.
348
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,741
Ray J. funny, or O.J. funny?
349
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,742
LISA: You'll see.
350
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,911
(Bart muttering incoherently)
Gotta get it done.
351
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,663
Bart? Honey?
352
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,415
Gotta finish. (grunting)
353
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,001
-Close the door.
-(door closes)
354
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,254
You're probably wondering
about the coat hangers.
355
00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,421
They're to block the satellite
356
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,881
that's been spying on me.
357
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,716
OK.
358
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,511
It can read your electronic
organizer from space.
359
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,555
-Even mine?
-(grunting)
360
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,473
Hey, I had Lenny's name on that!
361
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,475
They have it now.
362
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,686
And who are they, exactly?
363
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,729
Who else? Major League Baseball.
364
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:19,191
Marge, I think Bart's gone crazy.
365
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,569
Oh, Bart, what's happened to you?
366
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,196
Nothing yet. But the time draws near.
367
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,115
Now, let's get those fillings out of you!
368
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,283
(screaming)
369
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,618
Hey, you found my needle-nose pliers.
370
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,540
I understand the electrodes,
371
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,292
but why does he have to be on a treadmill?
372
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,377
Oh, that was his idea.
He said he felt fat.
373
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,295
Oh.
374
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,422
You said he was concerned
about satellites?
375
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,133
-And their beams.
-Any other strange behavior?
376
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,635
He quit blinking. He says
that's when they get you.
377
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,845
I had a feeling this might happen.
378
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:48,929
This Carboxyl group
379
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,347
sometimes causes problems.
380
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,266
After we trusted you!
381
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,809
(grunting)
382
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,811
I think we should take him off the drug.
383
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,187
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
384
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,148
You can't just "go off" Focusyn.
385
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,775
But we can ease Bart
onto one of its sister drugs
386
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,235
like Chlorhexinol,
387
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,029
and augment that with some Phenolbutamine.
388
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,197
Hmm, and maybe some Cyclobenzanone?
389
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,700
That's a great idea!
390
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,076
(grunts) No!
391
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,494
You can't take my Focusyn.
392
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,913
I need every brain cell
393
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,664
blazing to outwit my invisible enemies.
394
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,541
I know you love Focusyn, son,
395
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,918
but in time you'll get
396
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,253
just as attached to these three amigos.
397
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:23,964
No!
398
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,009
(chomping)
399
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,178
(gasps)
400
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,473
-(grunts)
-Uh-oh!
401
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,309
Somebody's gonna have a tummy ache.
402
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,020
Stop him! He's whacked out of his gourd!
403
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,814
Don't worry. We have a procedure
for these situations.
404
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,321
Ahh!
405
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,615
Hey, there was just air in mine.
406
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,575
(groaning)
407
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,789
And I'm really worried, Chief.
408
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,457
There's no telling what he might do.
409
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,834
OK, so you say your son is towheaded,
410
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,836
button nose, mischievous smile,
411
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,546
and maybe armed with a slingshot?
412
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,590
Got it. We'll find him, ma'am.
413
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,636
Hey, looks like the kid who
roughed up the Wilson widow.
414
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,263
Oh, my little guy's
out there in the hot sun
415
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,723
{\an8}without his sombrero.
416
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,016
We should've paid more attention
417
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,434
to these side effects.
418
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,353
It's all here-- Erratic behavior,
419
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,938
paranoia, diarrhea-
420
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,481
I don't think he has diarrhea.
421
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,401
But how do we know, Marge? How do we know?
422
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,075
I can't believe that sarge said
423
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,868
we're the worst bunch he's ever seen.
424
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,870
See, I have to believe he's
seen worse bunches than us.
425
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,872
-But he said--
-I know what he said.
426
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,165
He was just trying to motivate us.
427
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,709
Well, it ruined the whole hike.
428
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,253
(sinister chuckle)
429
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,880
(demented laughter)
430
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,174
MAN 1: Do you think Alex would mind
if I asked Janet out?
431
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,843
MAN 2: They're married, idiot!
432
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,012
MAN 1: Why'd you have to yell?
You ruined the whole shower.
433
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,850
So I gave up tap for jazz,
and I've never regretted it.
434
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:58,934
And here's why.
435
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,185
Homer, you're supposed
436
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,812
{\an8}to be hunting for Bart.
437
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,230
I'm on top of it.
438
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,776
(groans) My sweet baby.
439
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,571
He must feel so helpless and scared.
440
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:15,034
♪ Don't stop thinking about tomorrow ♪
441
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,537
♪ Don't stop, it'll soon be here ♪
442
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,913
(all screaming)
443
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,498
Smithers, we're at war!
444
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,875
I'll begin profiteering, Sir.
445
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,419
And hoarding. Leave it to the democrats
446
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,212
to let the Spaniards back in the pantry.
447
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:35,179
Egad! A maniac cutting
a swath of destruction!
448
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,222
This is a job for the Green Lantern,
449
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,809
Thundra or possibly... Ghost Rider.
450
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,102
What about Superman?
451
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,187
Oh, please.
452
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:47,733
What the-- Hmm?
453
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:48,776
Uh...
454
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,319
Come on! Get out!
455
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,738
Noodles, Seesaw, Oopsie, Lobsweat, Hoohah,
456
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,364
Jitters, Sir Widebottom!
457
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,325
-Oh. I'm stuck.
-(creaking)
458
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,118
-Easy, boys. My bum.
-(all straining)
459
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,208
I'm sure I'm alive, but why?
460
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,460
(screaming)
461
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,296
(cheering)
462
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,757
You've raised the bar
for all of us, Simpson,
463
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:12,758
and I thank you.
464
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,344
-Wow. Praise from Caesar.
-Huh?
465
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,930
(siren wailing)
466
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:19,681
Shoot the tires out, Lou.
467
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,433
Uh, it's a tank, Chief.
468
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,186
You know what? I'm gettin'
real tired of your excuses.
469
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,399
(chattering)
470
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,487
What a day! First, the drinking fountain
squirts me, and now this.
471
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,205
My God, is she brave,
472
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,874
standing up to that freaked-out junkie.
473
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,168
Dad, that junkie is your son.
474
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,045
Why don't you just tell everybody?
475
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,672
Hey, Mom. Thanks for coming out.
476
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:54,424
Oh, thank you for stopping the tank.
477
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,510
-It ran out of gas.
-Oh.
478
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,345
-So, Bart--
-Question.
479
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,431
How about getting out of the tank, huh?
480
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,017
Maybe stopping your rampage, huh?
481
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,310
We could go to Krusty Burger.
482
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,104
-OK, sure.
-Whew!
483
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,606
Right after I blow up one thing.
484
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:10,816
(groans)
485
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,071
(gasps) Good lord! He's going to fire!
486
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,366
All right! Scud the school, dude!
487
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,618
No, stop. Think of the children.
488
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,790
(all gasping)
489
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,170
Not the church! Jesus lives there!
490
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,674
The frame store? You monster!
491
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:41,096
Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!
492
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,768
(all gasping)
493
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:51,523
(siren wailing)
494
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,193
A satellite? What do we do? What do we do?
495
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,404
{\an8}"Discotheques, frat houses, Malibu--"
496
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:58,822
{\an8}Nothing about satellite fires.
497
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,325
Let's just spray it with water already.
498
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,495
That's the end of your
loony tune, drugs Bunny.
499
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:08,207
You're under arrest for astro-vandalism.
500
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,791
And may god help you if that thing carried
501
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:10,959
the Spice Channel!
502
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,005
{\an8}"Major League Baseball"?
503
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:18,008
I told you they were
monitoring my activities.
504
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:20,886
He's right! This thing's got
info on everybody.
505
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,638
Addresses, credit ratings,
506
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,306
what size baseball hat they wear.
507
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,808
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Surveillance beam disabled.
508
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,520
Market research shutting down.
Doesn't that beat all?
509
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,776
-Hi, folks. I'm Mark McGwire.
-(all gasping)
510
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,278
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Big Mac himself.
Who'd have thunk it?
511
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,488
Young Bart here was right.
512
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:40,572
We are spying on you
513
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,907
pretty much around the clock.
514
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,492
But why, Mr. McGwire?
515
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,619
Do you want to know
the terrifying truth...
516
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,871
or do you wanna see me sock a few dingers?
517
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,415
ALL: Dingers! Dingers!
518
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,876
-(grunts)
-ALL: Ooh!
519
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:53,961
Yoink!
520
00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,384
Ah!
521
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,344
It's good to have the old Bart back.
522
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,597
Plus, you exposed the disturbing
unreadiness of today's army.
523
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,099
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry
524
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,393
we sent you on that psychotropic hayride.
525
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:11,520
At least I got to see some cool colors.
526
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,606
And Mark McGwire gave
you an autographed bat.
527
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,150
Why is the zero made out of glass?
528
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,404
Who cares? That man can really slug.
529
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,740
Well, I'm not giving my baby
any more dangerous drugs.
530
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,951
From now on, it's nothing but fresh air,
531
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,329
lots of hugs,
and good old-fashioned Ritalin.
532
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,707
You said a mouthful.
533
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,002
♪ When I can't stop fiddlin'
I just takes me Ritalin ♪
534
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,671
♪ I'm poppin' and sailin', man ♪
535
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,131
(toots twice)
536
00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:47,014
(theme music playing)
537
00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,596
-Shh.
-MAN: Oh, why'd you have to shush?
538
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,181
You ruined the whole show!
539
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:31,933
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services