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{\an8}ANNOUNCER:<i> Live from</i>
<i>the Springfield Civic Auditorium,</i>

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<i>it's "The Simpsons"</i>
<i>138th episode spectacular!</i>

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(applause and cheers)

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Hello. I'm Troy McClure.

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You may remember me
from such Fox network specials

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as <i>Alien Nose Job,</i>

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and five fabulous weeks
of the <i>Chevy Chase Show.</i>

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Tonight we're here to honor

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America's favorite
non-prehistoric cartoon family.

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<i>You'll see long-lost footage,</i>

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<i>-never-before-seen material</i>
-(belches)

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<i>from your favorite episodes--</i>

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<i>old favorites you can't see</i>
<i>in syndication.</i>

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So join me, won't you,

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for <i>The Simpsons 138th Episode</i>
<i>Spectacular!</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

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(chalk screeching)

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(bell ringing)

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(tires screeching)

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D'oh!

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-(screams)
-(tires screech)

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♪♪

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(snarling)

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(elephants trumpeting)

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{\an8}The Simpsons began
as the brainchild

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{\an8}of cartoonist Matt Groening--

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{\an8}<i>the already famous creator</i>
<i>of such comics</i>

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{\an8}as Damnation,
Johnny Reb,

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<i>and</i> True Murder Stories.

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<i>In 1987, Groening teamed up</i>
<i>with award-winning producers</i>

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{\an8}<i>James L. Rooks</i>
<i>and Sam Simon.</i>

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{\an8}And what better place
to premiere their creation

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{\an8}than on <i>The Tracey Ullman Show--</i>

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{\an8}the nation's showcase
for psychiatrist jokes

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{\an8}and musical comedy numbers.

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{\an8}On April 19, 1987,
America first met the Simpsons.

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Well, good night, son.

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-Um, Dad?
-Yeah?

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What is the mind?
Is it just a system of impulses,

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or is it something tangible?

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Relax.

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What is mind?

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No matter.

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What is matter?

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Never mind.

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(laughs)

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Thanks, Dad.

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Good night, son.

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(switch clicks)

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Good night, Lisa.

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Good night, Mom.

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Sweet dreams.

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Thanks, Mom.

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Sleep tight.

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I will, Mom.

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Don't let the bedbugs bite.

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-(switch clicks)
-Bedbugs?

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<i>♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪</i>

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<i>-♪ In the treetop ♪</i>
-(wind blowing)

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<i>♪ When the wind blows ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The cradle will rock ♪</i>

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<i>♪ When the bough breaks ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The cradle will fall ♪</i>

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<i>♪ And down will come baby ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Cradle and all ♪</i>

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MARGE:
Sweet dreams.

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-(switch clicks)
-(Maggie sucking on pacifier)

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We may be the best parents
in the world.

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Hmm. Good night, dear.

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Good night.

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(footsteps running)

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(all talking at once)

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All right. Climb in.

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There's nothing
to worry about.

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Now everyone
go to sleep.

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Good night.

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-(switch clicks)
-(Maggie sucking on pacifier)

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MAGGIE:
Good night.

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(laughs)

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They haven't changed a bit,
have they?

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As the weeks went on,
so did the cartoons.

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Fresh chocolate chip
cookies.

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Oh! Don't touch
those yet.

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They're very, very hot.

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(door closes)

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Aha. No one's around.

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The perfect crime.

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Yeow!

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(sniffing)

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-Do I smell cookies?
-(gasps)

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-Where's the cookies?
-They're all gone-- the whole batch.

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Somebody ate those cookies.

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Did you eat the cookies, Maggie?

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HOMER: I think she's trying
to tell us something.

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Go on, Maggie.

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Go on, Maggie.
Go! Go!

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(groaning)

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There's no perfect crime.
(groaning)

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(loud gulp)

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I've got a great idea.

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Let's play space patrol.

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I'll be Lissouie,
the devil-may-care rocket pilot.

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Maggie can be Maggina,
your spunky sidekick.

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And you'll be...

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Bartron, the evil robot

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from Mars, gone berserk.

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(muffled shouting)

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Do I understand you
correctly, Bartron?

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Do you wish me
to release you

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from the Helmet of Evil Thoughts
with my enchanted space wand?

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(muffled)
Yes! Yes! Yes!

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I will do it, Bartron,

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but who knows what mysterious
forces will be unleashed?

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Oh, no. Inside, the evil Bartron
is a horrible mutant boy.

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LISA:
We'll be safe here

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till Mom and Dad,
the evil overlords,

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get home.

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As wacky as those kids were,

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they were no match
for Captain Wacky,

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later renamed Homer.

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Wake up, everybody!

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It's World War III!

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(screaming)

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Quick!
Down to the fallout shelter.

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The bombs are dropping.

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(grunting)

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Eighteen seconds. Hmm.

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If this were really
a nuclear war,

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we'd all be dead meat by now.

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Say, you're all shivering.

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Are you cold or what?

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HOMER:
Bart!

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Bart!

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Time for your Sunday night
bath, boy.

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(coughs)

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Got to hide.

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Bart! Huh? Where are you, boy?

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(Bart belching)
Oops!

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Aha!

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There you go!

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Now, that's not so bad, is it?

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(teeth chattering)

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HOMER:
Scrub good now.

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Ahh...

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(with French accent)
Welcome to zee exotic world

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of undersea explorer
Bart Simpseau.

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Come with Bart as he dive
into zee briny deep,

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searching for zee wily
and elusive washcloth.

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Suddenly, without warning,

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zee brave boy get
more than he bargain for.

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(muffled)
Help! Help!

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Help!

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Help!

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Clean as a whistle, Homer.

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(squeaking)

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(angry growl)

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Maybe the drawings
were a little crude,

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but all the characters
were there:

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<i>Itchy and Scratchy,</i>

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<i>Grampa Simpson,</i>

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<i>and Krusty the Clown.</i>

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When we return,
more classic moments.

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And for the first time on TV,

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our private reel
of Simpsons outtakes,

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including the alternate endings
to "Who shot Mr. Burns?"

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(canned audience applause)

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(exhales)

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{\an8}<i>The cash register says</i>
<i>"N.R.A. Forever"--</i>

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{\an8}<i>Just one of the hundreds</i>
<i>of radical right-wing messages</i>

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{\an8}<i>inserted into every show</i>
<i>by creator Matt Groening.</i>

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(applause)

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Over the six years <i>The Simpsons</i>
has been on the air,

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we've received
dozens of letters from fans

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wanting to know
more about the show.

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Tonight, we'll answer
some of your questions.

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Professor Lawrence Pierce

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of the University of Chicago
writes:

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"I think Homer gets stupider
every year."

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That's not a question,
professor,

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but we'll let the viewers
judge for themselves.

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{\an8}(deep voice)
Hello.

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{\an8}My name is Mr. Burns.

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{\an8}I believe you have
a letter for me.

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{\an8}Okay, Mr. Burns.

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{\an8}Uh, what's your first name?

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{\an8}I don't know.

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{\an8}Well, Homer, maybe you
can take some consolation

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{\an8}in the fact that something
you created

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{\an8}is making so many people happy.

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{\an8}Ooh, look at me!

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{\an8}I'm making people happy!

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{\an8}I'm the magical man
from Happyland

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{\an8}in a gumdrop house
on Lollipop Lane.

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By the way,
I was being sarcastic.

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Well, duh.

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{\an8}("The Flintstones"
theme music playing)

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{\an8}(bird cawing)

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{\an8}Yabba-dabba-do!

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{\an8}<i>♪ Simpson ♪</i>

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00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,065
{\an8}<i>♪ Homer Simpson ♪</i>

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{\an8}<i>♪ He's the greatest guy</i>
<i>in history ♪</i>

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00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,279
{\an8}<i>♪ From the ♪</i>

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00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,281
{\an8}<i>♪ Town of Springfield ♪</i>

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00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:18,159
{\an8}<i>♪ He's about to hit</i>
<i>a chestnut tree ♪</i>

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00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,410
{\an8}(screams)

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00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,497
{\an8}Hey, guys,
look what I smuggled aboard.

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00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,498
{\an8}Homer, no!

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00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,375
{\an8}Huh?

209
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,252
{\an8}They'll clog
the instruments!

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00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,754
{\an8}Careful. They're ruffled.

211
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,881
{\an8}I'll take care of this.

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00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,760
{\an8}("Blue Danube" waltz playing)

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00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,888
{\an8}(loud crunching in time
to waltz's accents)

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00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,318
{\an8}Ah!

215
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,536
{\an8}Mmm.

216
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,829
{\an8}Bah!

217
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,206
{\an8}Ants!

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00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,166
{\an8}(whining)

219
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,963
{\an8}(grunts)

220
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:19,387
{\an8}No TV and no beer make
Homer something-something.

221
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,888
{\an8}Go crazy?

222
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,807
{\an8}Don't mind if I do!

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00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,767
{\an8}(screaming and babbling)

224
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,895
{\an8}(hooting)

225
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,188
{\an8}(electric zipping)

226
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,189
{\an8}(whooping)

227
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,941
{\an8}Dr. Linus Irvin

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00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,943
{\an8}of the Sloan-Kettering
Memorial Institute writes:

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00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,195
{\an8}"How does Matt Groening
find the time

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00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:40,157
{\an8}to write and draw an entire
Simpsons episode every week?"

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00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,577
{\an8}For the answer to this,
we went straight to the source.

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00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,624
{\an8}<i>Get out of my office!</i>

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00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,750
{\an8}(static)

234
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,544
Of course,

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00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,295
what Matt meant to say,
according to his attorneys,

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00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,381
{\an8}is that he couldn't possibly
do it alone,

237
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,550
{\an8}and he insisted
that we make time

238
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,343
{\an8}to acknowledge the hard work

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00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,471
{\an8}of everyone who makes
the Simpsons possible.

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00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,474
{\an8}♪♪

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00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:09,478
{\an8}Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba
of the Ivory Coast writes:

242
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,857
{\an8}"What is the real deal with
Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers?

243
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,984
{\an8}You know
what I'm talking about."

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00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,277
(sly chuckle)

245
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,237
Of course we do.

246
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,156
Preparations for your
birthday have begun.

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00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,949
I won't get what I really want.

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00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,993
No one does.

249
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:28,956
<i>♪ Happy birthday,</i>
<i>Mr. Smithers ♪</i>

250
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,667
Hmm...

251
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,502
People like dogs,
Mr. Burns.

252
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,130
Nonsense! Dogs are idiots.

253
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,465
Think about it, Smithers.

254
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,883
If I came into your house

255
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,468
and started sniffing
at your crotch

256
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,969
and slobbering
all over your face,

257
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,471
what would you say?

258
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,306
Hmm. If <i>you</i> did it, sir?

259
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,058
-I'll print you out a copy.
-Thanks.

260
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,394
<i>Hello, Smithers.</i>

261
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,856
<i>(halting cadence)</i>
<i>You're quite good at turning me on.</i>

262
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,650
Um... you probably
should ignore that.

263
00:12:56,734 --> 00:13:00,446
I dreamed about her again
last night, Smithers.

264
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,864
You know that dream
where you're in bed

265
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,699
and they fly in
through the window?

266
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,498
Ohh...

267
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,042
MCCLURE:
<i>As you can see,</i>

268
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,752
<i>the real deal with Wayland</i>
<i>Smithers is</i>

269
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,295
<i>that he's Mr. Burns' assistant.</i>

270
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,506
He's in his early 40s,
is unmarried

271
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,841
and currently resides
in Springfield.

272
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,176
Thanks for writing.

273
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:23,886
We'll be right back.

274
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,596
{\an8}ANNOUNCER: <i>Which popular</i>
<i>Simpsons characters</i>

275
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,932
{\an8}<i>have died in the past year?</i>

276
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,649
{\an8}<i>If you said Bleeding</i>
<i>Gums Murphy</i>

277
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,317
{\an8}<i>and Dr. Marvin Monroe,</i>

278
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,070
{\an8}<i>you are wrong--</i>
<i>they were never popular.</i>

279
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,988
Right about now,
you're probably saying

280
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,574
"Troy, I've seen
every Simpsons episode.

281
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,743
You can't show me anything new."

282
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,371
You've got some attitude,
mister.

283
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:54,333
Besides, you're wrong because
sometimes episodes run long

284
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,835
and certain scenes
never get aired.

285
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,170
So fire up your V.C.R.,

286
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,005
because here,
for the first time ever

287
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,216
are the cut-out classics.

288
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,510
(projector whirring)

289
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,181
<i>When Krusty the Clown</i>
<i>got canceled,</i>

290
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,267
<i>he tried everything</i>
<i>to stay on the air.</i>

291
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,936
<i>Here's what you didn't see.</i>

292
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,437
{\an8}If you watch my show,

293
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,857
{\an8}I will send you this book
featuring me

294
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,150
{\an8}in a variety
of sexually explicit positions.

295
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,986
{\an8}What? Oh! Hey!

296
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,363
{\an8}It's not really me!
I used a stunt butt!

297
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,659
Krusty, we're from the network.
We have some bad news.

298
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,827
I'm afraid your show's
been canceled.

299
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,413
Oh, I thought this would happen.

300
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,290
I just hope you replace me
with something

301
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,501
as educational and uplifting
as I tried to be.

302
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,086
Actually, it's a hemorrhoid
infomercial

303
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,546
starring Claude Akins.

304
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,840
Can I play Hemorrhoid
Sufferer Number One?

305
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,675
Ooh! Oh, that hurts!

306
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,510
Oh! Oh, is there
no relief?

307
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,178
I don't think so.

308
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,723
Well, how about one
of the "after" guys?

309
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,267
Ah! Oh, that's better.

310
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,185
I can ride a bike again!

311
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,730
-Sorry.
-Ohh.

312
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,232
{\an8}<i>When Springfield </i>
<i>legalized gambling,</i>

313
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,610
{\an8}<i>Homer became a blackjack</i>
<i>dealer,</i>

314
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,487
<i>and comedy was in the cards.</i>

315
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,865
Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.

316
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,701
I'll take a hit, dealer.

317
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,412
Joker? You were supposed to
take those out of the deck.

318
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,331
Sorry. Here's another one.

319
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,166
What is this card?

320
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,084
"Rules for draw and stud poker"?

321
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,045
What a pity, Mr. Bond.

322
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,880
What?! Well, it
was Homer's fault.

323
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,548
I didn't lose.
I never lose.

324
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,508
Well, at least tell me
the details

325
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,260
of your plot for
world domination!

326
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,721
Ha ha ha! I'm not going to
fall for that one again.

327
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,097
MCCLURE:
<i>Earlier this year,</i>

328
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,475
<i>Homer's long-lost mother</i>
<i>returned</i>

329
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,645
<i>and so did a long-lost</i>
<i>care package.</i>

330
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,606
{\an8}(chewing loudly)

331
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,733
{\an8}Homer, please.

332
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:46,111
You don't have to wolf down
that 25-year-old candy

333
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,571
just to make me happy.

334
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:51,075
But it won't make you
unhappy, right?

335
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,786
Hey! Space food sticks!

336
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,373
Oh, I wish I had these
on my space adventure.

337
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,626
Did you know I was blasted
into space two years ago, Mom?

338
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,544
Oh, sure. I read all about it.

339
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,255
I mean, it was national news.

340
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,299
Do you still work for NASA?

341
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,468
No, I work
at the nuclear power plant.

342
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,803
Oh, Homer.

343
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,721
Well, you'll be
happy to know

344
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,390
I don't work very hard.

345
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,141
Actually, I'm bringing
the plant down

346
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,560
from the inside.

347
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,355
MCCLURE: <i>When Homer</i>
<i>sold his soul for a doughnut,</i>

348
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,150
<i>he found out that hell</i>
<i>isn't all it's cracked up to be</i>

349
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,529
<i>in these</i>
<i>never-before-broadcast scenes.</i>

350
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,657
{\an8}(grunting)

351
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:34,994
(screaming)

352
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,914
D'oh!

353
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,292
Hmm, lawyers,
lawyers, lawyers...

354
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,336
Ooh, Lionel Hutz!

355
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,924
"Cases won in 30 minutes
or your pizza's free."

356
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,636
I'd sell my soul
for a Formula 1 racing car.

357
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,055
(chuckling)
That can be arranged.

358
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,891
Changed my mind. Sorry.

359
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,268
Cool.

360
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,978
Bart, stop
pestering Satan.

361
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,897
Your Honor, we find
that Homer Simpson's soul

362
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,525
is legally the property
of Marge Simpson

363
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,485
-and not of the devil.
-Oh...

364
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,987
(cheering)

365
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,156
Woo-hoo! Oh!

366
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:15,659
Well, I didn't win.
Here's your pizza.

367
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:16,827
But we did win.

368
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,412
That's okay. The box is empty.

369
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,708
If that's what they cut out,

370
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,169
what they leave in
must be pure gold!

371
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,628
Let's watch some more

372
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,048
of those fabulous
Simpsons outtakes.

373
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:33,552
<i>Apu living with the Simpsons?</i>
<i>It happened.</i>

374
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,387
<i>And here's a scene</i>
<i>you didn't see.</i>

375
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,473
{\an8}I'm hoping you
enjoy this movie.

376
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,809
{\an8}It made every Indian
critic's top 400 list.

377
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,187
<i>♪ Love, love, love,</i>
<i>love, love ♪</i>

378
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,647
<i>♪ I'm in love</i>
<i>with lovely Johnny ♪</i>

379
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,861
(speaking Hindi)

380
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,618
{\an8}This movie you rented sucks.

381
00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,079
No, it doesn't.
It's funny.

382
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,830
Their clothes are different
from my clothes.

383
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,415
(laughs)

384
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:04,875
Look at what they're wearing.

385
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,127
(laughing)

386
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,672
<i>A few years back,</i>
<i>Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns.</i>

387
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:15,844
<i>In this very special outtake,</i>
<i>Homer attempts a reconciliation</i>

388
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,721
{\an8}<i>with his estranged son.</i>

389
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,098
{\an8}<i>Watch.</i>

390
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,599
{\an8}Bart, you're coming home.

391
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,392
I want to stay here
with Mr. Burns.

392
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,394
I suggest you leave
immediately.

393
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,939
Or what? You'll release
the dogs or the bees

394
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,108
or the dogs with bees
in their mouth

395
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,568
and when they bark,
they shoot bees at you?

396
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,986
Well, go ahead!

397
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,488
Do your worst!

398
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,115
My worst, eh?

399
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,409
Smithers, release
the robotic Richard Simmons.

400
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,330
Come on, big boy!

401
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,332
Shake the butter
off those buns!

402
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,001
(disco music playing)

403
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,754
<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

404
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,381
(screams)

405
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,757
<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

406
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,677
Come on, girls.
Shake, shake, shake.

407
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,095
Smithers, it's out of control.

408
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,722
-I'll take him out, sir.
-(gun cocks)

409
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,890
<i>♪ Shake your ♪</i>

410
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,684
(music stops)

411
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,271
<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

412
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,730
Shake, shake, shake.

413
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,566
(voice slowing down)
Shake your...

414
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,151
His ass is going to blow!

415
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,570
(all screaming)

416
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,950
This past summer,
all of America

417
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:24,538
was trying to solve the mystery
of who shot Mr. Burns.

418
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,748
Then they found out
it was the baby.

419
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,208
(coughs)

420
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,002
To keep this bombshell secret,

421
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,421
the producers animated
several solutions

422
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,715
that were never intended
to air.

423
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:40,012
{\an8}(groaning)

424
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:45,017
(groaning)

425
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,978
And to keep the show's
animators, editors, staff,

426
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,647
and hangers-on
from leaking the solution,

427
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,150
two completely different
endings were produced--

428
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,319
one real, one phony.

429
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:58,363
Here's the ending
you were never meant to see.

430
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,324
The one who shot me was...

431
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,161
(screaming)

432
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,913
Wayland Smithers.

433
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,998
No!

434
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:08,999
Wait a minute.

435
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,709
Yes.

436
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,879
With the sun blocker
in place and the town aghast,

437
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,380
I was on top of the world.

438
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,592
So I wanted to kick up
my heels and indulge

439
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:19,635
my sweet tooth.

440
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,553
I feel like celebrating.

441
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,515
Oh, it's you.

442
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,850
What are you
so happy about?

443
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,101
(Burns gasps)

444
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,102
I see.

445
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,729
Smithers had thwarted

446
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,856
my earlier attempt
to take candy from a baby,

447
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,108
but with him out
of the picture,

448
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,569
I was free to wallow
in my own crapulence...

449
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,446
or so I thought.

450
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,698
At the last moment,

451
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,326
Smithers, drunk as a lemur,
lurched out

452
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,702
of the darkness and fired.

453
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,912
(groaning)

454
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,288
That's right.

455
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,958
Right before I shot Jasper.

456
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,543
Hmm. I was busy that night.

457
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,671
BURNS:
<i>Stricken, I lurched forth</i>

458
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,422
<i>in search of aid.</i>

459
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,216
<i>But, finding only slack-jawed</i>
<i>gawkers,</i>

460
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,468
<i>I gave up and collapsed</i>
<i>on the sundial.</i>

461
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:04,221
Then, with your
last ounce of strength,

462
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,765
you pointed
to "w" and "S."

463
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,226
Wayland Smithers.

464
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,144
Well, I'm just relieved
that Homer's safe,

465
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,814
and that you've recovered
and we can get back to normal.

466
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,482
Not exactly.

467
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:18,652
Smithers,
for attempting to kill me,

468
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:22,030
I'm giving you
a five percent pay cut.

469
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,950
Ohh!

470
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,327
But, of course,
for that ending to work,

471
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,497
you would have to ignore
all the Simpson DNA evidence.

472
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:34,459
(laughing) And that would be
downright nutty.

473
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:38,380
Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way
since an old drunk made humans

474
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,425
out of his rabbit characters
to pay off his gambling debts.

475
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:43,260
Who knows what adventures
they'll have

476
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:47,389
between now and the time
the show becomes unprofitable?

477
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,725
I'm Troy McClure,
and I'll leave you

478
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,727
with what
we all came here to see--

479
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,520
hardcore nudity!

480
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,939
{\an8}(disco music playing)

481
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,110
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

482
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:01,737
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

483
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,822
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

484
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,949
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

485
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,576
{\an8}<i>♪ Oh, shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

486
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:10,037
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

487
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,663
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

488
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,458
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

489
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,377
{\an8}<i>♪ Oh, you can ♪</i>

490
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,879
{\an8}<i>♪ You can do it ♪</i>

491
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:21,298
{\an8}<i>♪ Very well ♪</i>

492
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,552
{\an8}<i>♪ Your love ♪</i>

493
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:26,887
{\an8}<i>♪ Best in the world ♪</i>

494
00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:28,722
{\an8}<i>♪ I can tell ♪</i>

495
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:34,311
{\an8}<i>♪ Oh, shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

496
00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:36,438
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪</i>

497
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,398
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

498
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,484
{\an8}<i>♪ Shake your booty ♪</i>

499
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:41,985
Shh.

500
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,491
{\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.