1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,171 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,094 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,389 (whistle blowing) 4 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,437 (beeping) 5 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:32,490 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,950 (tires screech) 7 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,037 D'oh! 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,414 -Aah! -(tires screech) 9 00:00:56,181 --> 00:01:00,143 {\an8}The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower-- 10 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,604 {\an8}Indistinguishable to the naked eye, 11 00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:05,231 {\an8}but therein lies the game. 12 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:09,444 {\an8}-I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away. -(cars approaching) 13 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,116 {\an8}Blast it, woman. You parked too close. Move your car! 14 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,827 {\an8}I'm in the lines. You got a problem, go tell your mama. 15 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,080 {\an8}Oh, don't worry. She'll hear about this. 16 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,499 {\an8}-(horns honking) -MAN: I can't get out! 17 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,834 {\an8}-WOMAN: I'm trapped. -MAN: I can't breathe! 18 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:29,464 {\an8}-(honking continues) -(Bart laughing sinisterly) 19 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:33,635 {\an8}Class, I know there's no way to prove who actually did this, 20 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:37,555 {\an8}and in our American democracy, everyone is innocent until proven guilty. 21 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:41,267 {\an8}-God bless America. -But my classroom is not a democracy. Ha! 22 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,645 {\an8}For the rest of the year, Bart Simpson will be 23 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,898 {\an8}the first student called on for every question. 24 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,485 -(gulps) -Well, let's get started. 25 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,654 Can someone pronounce this word? 26 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,157 Hmm? Bart? 27 00:01:56,241 --> 00:02:00,745 Uh-- Um-- Hmm? 28 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,497 -Uh-- -(grunting) 29 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,916 Mmm-- Uh-- 30 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:08,711 -Oh, pick me, teacher! I'm ever so smart. -Uh-- 31 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:13,049 It's "photosynthesis"! Damn your feeble brain! 32 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,427 Oh, I couldn't read it. The letters are all blurry. 33 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,514 Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades 34 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,891 have been caused by a simple vision disorder? 35 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,477 (British accent) You mean it ain't me noggin', it's me peepers? 36 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,437 Oh, well, that's just "loverly." 37 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,652 Watch this, guys. 38 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,783 Ooh! 39 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,994 -Uh-oh. He's done for. -Don't worry. 40 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,788 The safety glass'll protect us. 41 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,790 -(all gasp) -(alarm blaring) 42 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,584 Run! We'll hide at my house! 43 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,794 (all shouting) 44 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,131 Hey, this emergency exit is painted on! 45 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:56,509 There's no way out! There's no way out! We're doomed! Doomed! 46 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,512 (all groaning) 47 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,641 Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, 48 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,561 but we desperately need a real emergency exit. 49 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,731 Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? 50 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:13,735 How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? 51 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,737 Smithers, throw this at him. 52 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,947 (grunts) 53 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,575 (shouting) 54 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,702 Smithers, where does that tube go? 55 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,996 I'm not sure, sir. It was here when we moved in. 56 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,956 ♪♪ (exotic) 57 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,751 (shouting continues) 58 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,879 MEN: Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! 59 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:36,257 (men ululating) 60 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,927 Sir, we'll need a new dangerous emissions supervisor. 61 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,137 Yes, we'll find someone cheap. 62 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,015 It's been a very lean year for us. 63 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,850 BOTH: Money fight! 64 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,229 (both laughing) 65 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,981 Mmm. (mumbles) 66 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:56,861 Excellent, Zutroy. Work hard and each day you'll get a shiny penny. 67 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,989 (men shouting) 68 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,033 Agent Wesson, Department of Labor. 69 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,494 -This man's an illegal alien. -(chuckles) 70 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,997 That's preposterous. Zutroy here is as American as apple pie. 71 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,416 (foreign language) Mr. Burns. 72 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,044 This plant violates every labor law in the book. 73 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,464 We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core. 74 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,716 That plane crashed on my property! 75 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,635 Look, Mr. Burns, we want to see some changes. 76 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,012 For starters, you can reverse your sexist employment policies 77 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,514 and hire at least one woman. 78 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,934 All right. I'll bring in a woman. 79 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:32,063 -But I still stand by my hiring policies. -(quacking) 80 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,232 -Get back to work, Stewart! -(quacking) 81 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:40,029 Now with my new H.M.O., I can provide every medical service... 82 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,906 you'll ever need under one roof. 83 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,409 You do have insurance, don't you? 84 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,911 -Yes. -Well, that's wonderful. 85 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,289 (chuckling) Let's go visit the optometrist. 86 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,335 Your son has a temporary condition called "Lazy eye," 87 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,337 Where one eye is weaker than the other. 88 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,257 -You'll have to wear these for two weeks. -(groans) 89 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,843 Menachem Begin wore a pair just like them. 90 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,387 Hmm. That scalp's a little dry. Better see our dermatologist. 91 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:09,309 Rub a palm full of this medicated salve into your scalp every half an hour. 92 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,811 Keep him away from open flames and pregnant women. 93 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,814 Ah, these should help those fallen arches. Enjoy. 94 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,900 Hmm. Throat looks a little red. 95 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,362 -I'd better spray it. -(coughing) 96 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,490 (as Jerry Lewis) Oh, thanks, nice lady. 97 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,535 My voice is crazy with this spraying already. 98 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:32,290 Oy, I feel so much better, Mr. Medical Science-Type Person. 99 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:36,085 If they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor. 100 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,880 And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot. 101 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,840 And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain. 102 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,969 Yeah-- I mean, not-- 103 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:49,015 You know, if we wanted to. Not that I ever did. 104 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,310 Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your new coworker, Mindy Simmons. 105 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,520 I think she has a degree in engineering or something. 106 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,981 -Hi. How's it going? -Pleased to meet you. 107 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,067 -Yeah, ditto. -Hi. Ooh. 108 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,277 (gasps) 109 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,406 Homer, what's the matter? 110 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,284 Ain't you never seen a naked chick ridin' a clam before? 111 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,121 Gotta go! Ahhh! 112 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,290 What the hell was that? 113 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,709 I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy 114 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,002 I found in the parking lot. 115 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,591 BOTH: Nice glasses, four eyes. (laugh) 116 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:30,139 Yeah, nice shoes, uh, two feet. Yeah. 117 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,351 -Your appearance is comical to me. -(kids laughing) 118 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,646 (gasps) I'm a nerd! 119 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,107 (gasps) So am I! 120 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:44,320 Yeah. Another day, another box of stolen pens. 121 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,533 -MINDY: Have a good night, Homer. -You too. 122 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:52,995 No goose bumps, no hallucinations. 123 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,456 That last time was just a fluke. 124 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,916 -♪♪ (whistling) -(tires screeching, horns honking) 125 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,086 (people shouting) 126 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,757 (Homer shouting) 127 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:09,804 Homer loves Mindy! Homer loves Mindy! 128 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:12,098 Hey, Homer, you're hallucinating again. 129 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,933 Not a good sign. 130 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:23,192 So, uh, what do you guys think of Mindy? 131 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,278 Seems okay. Anybody see the game last night? 132 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,531 Yeah. That Mindy seems real nice. 133 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,534 Homer, what's with you? You're talking during a coffee break. 134 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,830 Yeah. Usually you just take the box of doughnuts into the bathroom. 135 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,331 Mindy has a motorcycle. 136 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:44,088 Look, everybody. I'm the same person I always was. Whoa! 137 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,175 -(shouting) -(kids screaming) 138 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:53,097 -(grunting) -(kids laughing) 139 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:57,101 -Hey, he's learning on his own! -Get him! 140 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,729 (all grunting) 141 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,231 -Moe, I need your advice. -Yeah? 142 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:08,237 See, I got this friend named Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo. 143 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,741 -That's the worst name I ever heard. -(sobbing) 144 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:15,578 -Bye, Joey Jo-Jo! -Oh, what the hell? It's me. 145 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:18,748 I'm attracted to another woman. What am I going to do? 146 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,210 Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. 147 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:26,255 Talk to the woman, and you'll realize you have nothing in common. 148 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,551 Barney, that is so insightful. How did you come up with that? 149 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,386 It was on one of these bar napkins. 150 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,436 (whimpers) 151 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,316 Uh-- So, let's have a conversation. 152 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:49,362 Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common. 153 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:53,115 -Can't talk. Eating. -Hey, my favorite-- 154 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,451 Raspberry swirl with a double glaze! 155 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,288 Double glaze. (gurgling) 156 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,542 Oh! Okay, so we have one thing in common. 157 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:07,171 But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV. 158 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,299 Not me. That's my idea of heaven. 159 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,135 -D'oh! Me too! -Really? 160 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,137 I can see I'm gonna love working with you. 161 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,139 Well, gotta go. 162 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,184 (whispering) I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch. 163 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,311 (gasps) Foul temptress. 164 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,022 I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy too. 165 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,570 -(bell dings) -(sighs) 166 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,156 I made it the whole day without seeing her again. 167 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,492 (screams) I mean, hello! 168 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,369 (chuckles) 169 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,246 I guess we'll be going down together. 170 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,165 -I mean, getting off toge-- I mean-- -That's okay. 171 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,251 I'll just push the button for the stimulator-- 172 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,044 I mean, elevator. 173 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,713 (thinking) Think unsexy thoughts. 174 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,006 Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. 175 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:54,343 Oh, that's unsexy. 176 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,305 -(humming theme from "I Dream of Jeannie") -Ew! 177 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,891 (burps) 178 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,853 D'oh! 179 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,980 (whispering) Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. 180 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,233 (chuckles) 181 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,360 Well, this is my floor. 182 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,946 (grunting, screaming) 183 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,531 See you tomorrow! 184 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,868 Ah, home to my loving family. 185 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,037 What more could a man ask for? 186 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,372 (blows nose) 187 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,667 Hi, Homer. Don't kiss me. I'm all stuffed up. 188 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,794 -(groans) -Hi, Dad. 189 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,422 Hi, son! How are you-- Ew! 190 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,758 Dad, look. I made fish sticks. 191 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,384 They're burned on the outside, but they're frozen on the inside, 192 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,303 so it balances out. 193 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,055 Yeah, good. 194 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:42,016 That raccoon stole my lamb chop! 195 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,478 (TV: indistinct) 196 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,272 Let's have a little quality time together, just you and me. 197 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,233 -(TV off) -Oh, that's sweet. (sniffling) 198 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,903 Guess what. There's a new place at the mall 199 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,905 that puts your picture on a t-shirt. 200 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,824 I got two dollars off because mine got smeared. 201 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:02,453 Ew. Hey, we haven't watched TV in a while. 202 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,164 Tonight, Eye on Springfield takes a look... 203 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,416 at the secret affairs of Kennedy, Eisenhower, Bush and Clinton. 204 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,794 Did fooling around on their wives make them great? 205 00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:12,755 We'll find out next when we play "Hail to the Cheat." 206 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,548 (whimpers) 207 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,426 MAN: The Burmese melon fly has over 1,000 sex partners... 208 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,637 and suffers virtually no guilt. 209 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,514 -(whimpers) -(breathing heavily) 210 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,016 WOMAN: Ooh! Just do it. 211 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,560 -(screams) -(door closes) 212 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,397 {\an8}Examine your scalp for ringworm. 213 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:39,156 Hello, hotline? I'm very tempted by another woman. 214 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,243 Homer Simpson, that's a dilly of a pickle. 215 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,828 Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh? 216 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,496 No! 217 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,915 (groans, grunts) 218 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:55,339 -Who are you? -Homer, I'm your guardian angel. 219 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:59,343 I've assumed the form of someone you would recognize and revere, Sir Isaac Newton. 220 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,096 -Sir Isa-who? -Oh, very well. 221 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,723 (gasps) 222 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,642 Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters? 223 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,477 I'm not actually Colonel Klink. 224 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,480 -I'm just assuming his form. -(chuckles) 225 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,442 Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp? 226 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,361 Homer! That's not why I'm here. 227 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,530 My job is to show you how miserable life would be 228 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,075 if you married Mindy instead of Marge. 229 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,746 Ooh, I would live in a big mansion? 230 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,374 (both grunting) 231 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,753 -I'm so happy, darling. -I as well. 232 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,381 -Are you happy, Jeeves? -Yes, sir. Quite. 233 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,718 -Then we're all happy. -Let's get out of here. 234 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:44,263 Sure, life is good for you, but what about Marge? 235 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,434 (gasps) Marge lives here? 236 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,102 MAN: Madam President, your approval rating is soaring. 237 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:51,812 MARGE: Mmm. 238 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,398 This dream is over. 239 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,692 (screaming) 240 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,819 (grunting) 241 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,946 Hey, you, get out of my office! 242 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,073 -Nerd! -(kids taunting) 243 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,454 You're goofy-looking. (laughing) 244 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,831 (all grunting) 245 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:15,211 (panting) Whoa! 246 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,381 -What the hell? -Shh! 247 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,973 (murmuring) 248 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,227 -What is this place? -The refuge of the damned. 249 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,395 A place where we can work on our extra-credit assignments 250 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,315 without fear of reprisal. 251 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,943 Come, you must be tired from the chase. 252 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:42,863 Oliver, bring our friend a hard-boiled egg and some prune juice. 253 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,032 Finally, Bart's one of us. 254 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,284 (kids) Excelsior! 255 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:53,082 ♪ Oh, Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking ♪ 256 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,292 ♪ But I sent you BENGAY ♪ 257 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,837 ♪ Oh, Andy, you kissed me ♪ 258 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,589 ♪ And stopped me from something ♪ 259 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,800 ♪ And I ♪ Uh-oh. 260 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,218 Dad, why are you singing? 261 00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:05,886 (thinking) Tell a lie. Tell a lie. 262 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,056 Because I have a small role in a Broadway musical. 263 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:11,058 It's not much, but it's a start. 264 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,395 -(thinking) Bravo. -(lone clapping) 265 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,981 -Are you hiding something from me? -Like what? 266 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,983 Judging from your song, you're infatuated 267 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,861 with a woman named Mindy or a man named Andy. 268 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,738 -Lisa, look out behind you! -Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that. 269 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,992 No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm 100% completely serious! 270 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,619 You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late! 271 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,662 -Huh? -Sucker! 272 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,876 "Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, 273 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:40,713 I think we should avoid each other from now on." 274 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:44,842 "Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger." 275 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,636 "I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand. 276 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,723 The first such incident occurred in 1956 when"-- 277 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,684 -Hi, Homer. -Mindy! Uh-- (clears throat) 278 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,562 {\an8}Oh, no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert. 279 00:14:56,645 --> 00:15:00,733 {\an8}Mu-- Murphy, youse-- You are a elf-- 280 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:04,403 Uncontrollably, I think-- 281 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:07,489 (gibberish) 282 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,284 Look at those two inseparable chums, Smithers. 283 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:13,871 That's exactly the teamwork we'd like to showcase at this year's energy convention. 284 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,916 -Are you sure, sir? -Well, no one else seems to share 285 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,751 the same spirit of camaraderie. 286 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,544 (gibberish continues) 287 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,839 (screaming) 288 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,216 Simpson, Simmons, you two have been chosen 289 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,053 to represent us at the National Energy Convention. 290 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,805 Congratulations. You'll be spending two nights together in glamorous Capital City. 291 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,017 Wow! Capital City! 292 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,852 The Windy Apple! 293 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,854 Come on. I'll get you the tickets. 294 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,191 Oh, this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced! 295 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:46,362 Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me? 296 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,031 -What is it? You have a question? -(chuckling) 297 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,784 Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot? 298 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,702 He did? Mmm! 299 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,871 (groans) 300 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,508 TV's there, bathroom's there, 301 00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:10,219 and there's your king-sized bed for-- 302 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,096 (wolf whistle, meowing) 303 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:15,265 (imitates bed squeaking, growls, pants) 304 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,684 (barking, howling) 305 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,185 (gibberish) Hubba-hubba. 306 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,813 Stop that! I love my wife and family. 307 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,106 All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, 308 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:23,899 and maybe building a little fort. 309 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,359 That's it! 310 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:29,405 (gasps) Free mouthwash! Free shampoo! 311 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:33,242 -Free shower curtain! -MINDY: Free shower curtain! 312 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,078 -Mindy? -Homer? 313 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:40,833 Wow. If it weren't for this wall, we'd be sleeping in the same bed. 314 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:44,586 Yeah. Uh, walls are a necessity in today's society. (chuckles) 315 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:49,883 Homer, I got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble. 316 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,846 Oh! Mindy, we have to fight our temptation. 317 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,932 No, Homer. Let's do it. 318 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,517 Let's call room service! 319 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,311 -Oh. -(beeping) 320 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,439 Someone is charging room service to the company, sir. 321 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,233 Well, we'll just see about that. 322 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,696 Fly, my pretties. Fly! 323 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,906 (chittering) 324 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,367 (screaming) 325 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,161 -(thudding) -(groans) 326 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,996 Continue the research. 327 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,041 -(lips smacking) -Mmm! 328 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,794 -I can't believe we ordered so much. -Oh, something's missing. 329 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,465 Ooh! One of the turkeys fell behind the bed. 330 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:34,470 (both) Mmm. Foot-long chili dog. 331 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,558 (both gasp) 332 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,855 (Marge's voice: Mechanical humming sound) 333 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,357 (screams) It's a sign! 334 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,736 -(shouts) -(mechanical hum continues) 335 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,532 Good news, honey. Two weeks are up. 336 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,993 You don't have to wear your glasses anymore. 337 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,329 And your scalp and posture seem fine. 338 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:03,499 Yes! (grunts) 339 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,376 Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes? 340 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,420 -I did! -Okilly-dokilly. 341 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,548 We've been doing a lot of upper-body work on Bart. 342 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,967 -Today, let's pound his kidneys. -Yeah. 343 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,470 -♪♪ (humming) -Let's get-- Huh? 344 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,350 What gives? 345 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,144 Gentlemen, the nerd you knew is dead. 346 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:27,523 Beat me, and you will be beating one of your own. 347 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,359 -Whatever. -(blows landing) 348 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,569 (electricity buzzing) 349 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,656 (chattering) 350 00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:42,579 -So this stuff really works? -Certainly does. 351 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,623 -Oh, well, lots of luck! -Oh! 352 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,500 (snaps fingers) 353 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,378 (men muttering) 354 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,421 (rustling) 355 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,179 Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastard! 356 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,181 -Get bent! -No more Chernobyls! 357 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,266 Go to hell! 358 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,309 -(grunts) -(man shouts) 359 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,521 You know, I was a little worried about coming to this convention with you. 360 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,982 But I think as long as we're not alone together-- 361 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,984 MAN (on TV): And now the moment you've been waiting for. 362 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,862 This year's king and queen of energy are... 363 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:18,073 Homer Simpson and Mindy Simmons. 364 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,742 -Huh? -♪♪ (fanfare) 365 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,621 Homer, Mindy, you've just won a romantic dinner alone at Madame Chao's, 366 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,291 the sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capital City! 367 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,793 -Is there any way to get out of this? -No. 368 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,429 (sighs) 369 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,306 What a perfect evening. 370 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,933 It was sure nice of them to make us cheeseburgers. 371 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,185 Uh, yeah. 372 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,440 (reading silently) "You will find happiness with a new love." 373 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,152 Oh, even the Chinese are against me. (groans) 374 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,571 What's the point? I can't fight fate. 375 00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,698 (slurping) 376 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,493 {\an8}Hey, we're out of these "new love" cookies. 377 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,121 {\an8}Well, open up the "Stick with your wife" barrel. 378 00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:11,877 Well, I guess you'll wanna come in. 379 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,879 -Okay. -"Okay." 380 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,465 This was a really nice night, Homer. 381 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,467 Yeah, yeah. 382 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,344 (sobbing) 383 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:24,556 -What's wrong? -Oh, yeah. Like you don't know. 384 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,184 -We're gonna have sex. -Oh. 385 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:30,229 Well, we don't have to. 386 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,607 Yes, we do. The cookie told me so. 387 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,860 Well, desserts aren't always right. 388 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,570 But they're so sweet. 389 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,740 Homer, 390 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,451 you don't have to do anything you don't want to. 391 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,414 Well, maybe I want to. 392 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,376 But then I think about Marge and the kids. 393 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,378 Well, not the boy. He drives me nuts. 394 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:58,257 -Sometimes I'd just like to-- -Homer, 395 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:02,886 you know how I feel, so it's up to you. 396 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:07,808 Look in your heart. I think you'll see what you want. 397 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,440 ♪♪ 398 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,617 -Oh, baby. -♪ My darling, I ♪ 399 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:28,245 This was a wonderful idea, Homie. 400 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,622 ♪ Can't get enough of your love, babe ♪ 401 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,958 Hey, there's a turkey behind the bed! 402 00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:36,670 Mmm. Marge. 403 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,964 (chuckling) 404 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:44,011 HOMER: ♪ Oh, Margie, you came and you found me a turkey ♪ 405 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:48,265 ♪ On my vacation away from workie ♪ 406 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,642 (wolf whistle, meowing) 407 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,228 (imitating bed squeaking, growls, pants) 408 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,022 (barking, howling) 409 00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:56,982 (gibberish) Hubba-hubba. 410 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,525 (blow lands) 411 00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,033 {\an8}♪♪ 412 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:50,619 Shh! 413 00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:56,875 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.