1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,052 (bell rings) 3 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,514 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,894 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,363 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:33,825 (tires screech) 7 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,745 D'oh. 8 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,913 -Aah! -(tires screech) 9 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,349 {\an8}(playing classical music) 10 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,228 {\an8}(glass clinking) 11 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,855 {\an8}My friends, 12 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:07,484 {\an8}tonight, we unveil my most diabolical creation-- 13 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,571 {\an8}Swank. 14 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,532 {\an8}Ten times more addictive than marijuana. 15 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,201 {\an8}ALL: Ooh! 16 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,037 {\an8}To human misery. 17 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:19,996 {\an8}(rumbling) 18 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,040 (gasping) 19 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:23,166 Huh? 20 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,172 {\an8}Ice to see you. 21 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,006 {\an8}McBain! 22 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,275 {\an8}Ah, McBain. 23 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,069 {\an8}So glad you could make it. 24 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,113 {\an8}Have a salmon puff. 25 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,072 {\an8}All right. 26 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,408 {\an8}(groaning loudly) 27 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,663 {\an8}(evil laughter) 28 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,043 {\an8}That is one evil dude. 29 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,545 {\an8}It's just a movie, son. 30 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,381 {\an8}There's nobody that evil in real life. 31 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,966 {\an8}(evil laughter) 32 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,514 {\an8}-(window cleaner yelling) -Smithers, where's 33 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,517 {\an8}that union representative? He's 20 minutes late. 34 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,727 I don't know, sir. He hasn't been seen 35 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,521 since he promised to clean up the union. 36 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,606 Oh! 37 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,900 What the hell? 38 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:31,901 Well, let's look 39 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,154 at the contract ourselves, eh? 40 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,905 Benefits, perks, 41 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:39,117 a green cookie on St. Patrick's Day. Ho ho. 42 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,077 It didn't use to be this way, Smithers. 43 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,997 No, it didn't use to be this way at all. 44 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,633 Come on, come on, crack those atoms. 45 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,177 You, turn out those pockets. 46 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,307 Atoms. One, two, three, fo... 47 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,434 six of them. 48 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,144 Take him away. 49 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,770 You can't treat the working man this way. 50 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,023 One day we'll form a union, 51 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,692 and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. 52 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:15,987 Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, 53 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,281 and the Japanese will eat us alive. 54 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,532 The Japanese? 55 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,368 Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? 56 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,454 Ha ha! Bosh. Flimshaw. 57 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,167 If only we had listened to that boy 58 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,545 instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven. 59 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:36,007 Well, I am going to avenge my grandfather. 60 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,468 We'll take on that greedy union 61 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,720 and we'll get back our... 62 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,390 dental plan. 63 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,481 How often do you brush, Ralph? 64 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,066 Three times a day, sir. 65 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:57,070 Why must you turn my office into a house of lies? 66 00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,363 You're right, I don't brush. 67 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,907 I don't brush. 68 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,117 Let's look at a picture book. 69 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:18,675 That's enough! That's enough! 70 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:22,011 Dr. Wolfe likes to pull kids' teeth so he can sell them. 71 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,346 To who? 72 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,640 Know that rattle when you shake up spray paint? 73 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,934 That's a kid's tooth. 74 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,352 (whimpering) 75 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,899 Maggie's teeth are coming in crooked. 76 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,443 Has she been sucking on a pacifier? 77 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,404 Um, not to my knowledge. 78 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,363 Liar! 79 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,908 I'm also afraid 80 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,160 little Lisa is going to need braces. 81 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,747 Oh, no. I'll be socially unpopular. 82 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,040 More so. 83 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,292 Are you sure, doctor? 84 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,210 Well, judge for yourself. 85 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,337 Here's Lisa today. 86 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,339 Without treatment, here's what she'll look like 87 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,091 at age 11... 88 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,135 age 14... 89 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,886 age 17... 90 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,515 and finally, age 18. 91 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,558 (gasps) 92 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,060 Cool. She'll be a freak. 93 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,145 Bart! 94 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,146 We can stick her in a trailer, 95 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,314 drive around the south, 96 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,107 and charge two bits a gander. 97 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,276 ANNOUNCER: Now, stay tuned for professional wrestling 98 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,695 live from the Springfield Grapplarium. 99 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,447 Tonight, a Texas Death match-- 100 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,033 Doctor Hillbilly versus the Iron Yuppie. 101 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,870 One man will actually be unmasked and killed in the ring. 102 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,955 I hope they kill that Iron Yuppie. 103 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,290 Thinks he's so big. 104 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,126 Homer, Lisa needs braces. 105 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,669 Don't worry. 106 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,755 We won a dental plan in the strike of '88. 107 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,923 That's where I got this scar. 108 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,550 What do we want? 109 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,303 ALL: More equitable treatment in the hands of management! 110 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,387 When do we want it? 111 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,597 ALL: Soon! 112 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,265 Where's my burrito?! 113 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,351 Where's my burrito?! 114 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,810 Where's my burrito?! 115 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,312 Ow! 116 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,397 Then I got this scar sneaking under the door 117 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,149 of a pay toilet. 118 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,613 CARL: Welcome brothers of local 643. 119 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,615 As you know, our president, Chucky Fitzhugh, 120 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,325 ain't been seen lately. 121 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,952 We're all praying he'll turn up soon, alive and well. 122 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,538 (derisive laughter) 123 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,123 All right, all right, but seriously... 124 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,000 we have to vote on Burns' new contract. 125 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,627 It's basically the same deal, 126 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,921 except we get a free keg of beer for our meetings. 127 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,005 (cheers) 128 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,298 And in exchange for that, 129 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,175 we have to give up our dental plan. 130 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,055 So long, dental plan. 131 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,266 -LENNY: ...dental plan. -MARGE: Lisa needs braces. 132 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,977 -...dental plan. -Lisa needs braces. 133 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,522 -...dental plan. -Lisa needs braces. 134 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,149 -...dental plan. -Lisa needs braces. 135 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,111 -...dental plan. -Lisa needs braces. 136 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,447 -...dental plan. -Lisa needs braces. 137 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,074 Bull's-eye! 138 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,409 Thanks a lot, Carl. 139 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,369 Now I've lost my train of thought. 140 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,829 LENNY: ...dental plan. 141 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,580 MARGE: Lisa needs braces. 142 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,790 ...dental plan. 143 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,667 Lisa needs braces. 144 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,003 If we give up our dental plan... 145 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,506 I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces! 146 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,968 People, stop! We can't give up our dental plan. 147 00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,803 Lenny, without that dental plan, 148 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,930 you wouldn't have that diamond in your tooth. 149 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,141 Yoink! 150 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,308 Hey! 151 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,060 And Gummy Joe. 152 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,396 Where would you be without that dental plan? 153 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,398 {\an8}(Walter Brennan voice) I wouldn't have old chomper here 154 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,357 {\an8}that's for sure. 155 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:28,072 You know what I think of this contract? This! 156 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,241 (growling, straining) 157 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,708 Who is that firebrand, Smithers? 158 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,334 That's Homer Simpson, sir. 159 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,253 Simpson, eh? New man? 160 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,131 Actually sir, he thwarted your campaign for governor. 161 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,716 You ran over his son. 162 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,301 He saved the plant from meltdown. 163 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,595 His wife painted you in the nude. 164 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,264 Uh, doesn't ring a bell. 165 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,225 (chanting) Homer! Homer! Homer! 166 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,312 I move that Homer Simpson be our new union president. 167 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,688 All in favor? 168 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:01,856 ALL: Aye! 169 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,024 All opposed? 170 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,400 MAN (with nebbish voice): Nay. 171 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,776 Congratulations, Homer. 172 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,653 (cheering) 173 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,363 Hey, what does this job pay? 174 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,406 Nothing. 175 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,241 -D'oh! -Unless you're crooked. 176 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,367 Whoo-hoo!! 177 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:21,000 President of the union! I'm so proud of you, Homie. 178 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,168 This is your chance to get a fair shake 179 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,170 for the working man. 180 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:28,049 And make lifelong connections to the world of organized crime. 181 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,677 Mmm, organized crime. 182 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,727 Don Homer, I have baked a special doughnut 183 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:40,978 just for you. 184 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,690 Mmm. 185 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,234 Grazie. 186 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,989 Don Homer, my son, he has trouble with the, uh... 187 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,866 Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh... 188 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:57,286 Molto bene. 189 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:03,000 That's-a nice-a doughnut. 190 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,503 Do you think you can get the dental plan back? 191 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,755 Well, that depends on who's a better negotiator-- 192 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,632 Mr. Burns or me. 193 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,718 Dad, I'll trade you this delicious doorstop 194 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,011 for your crummy old Danish. 195 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,430 Done, and done. 196 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,640 (chuckling) 197 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,392 D'oh! 198 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:21,811 Lisa and Marge, 199 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,563 these braces are invisible, painless, 200 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,190 and periodically release a delightful burst 201 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,901 of Calvin Klein's Obsession for teeth. 202 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:30,987 (sniffs) 203 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,572 Mmm! 204 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,450 Doctor, we don't have a dental plan right now 205 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:39,787 so we'll need something a little more... affordable. 206 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:44,166 These predate stainless steel, so you can't get them wet. 207 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,044 (coughs) 208 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,006 He's a worthy foe. 209 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,967 Look at him, Smithers-- Exercising away 210 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,011 while the others are off at the candy machine. 211 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,597 (grunting) 212 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,223 Hey, Lenny, can you get 213 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,475 this Sugar Daddy off my back? 214 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,603 Okay, but it's the last time. 215 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,984 We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. 216 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,445 We both want a fair union contract. 217 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,031 HOMER: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? 218 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:18,868 And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. 219 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,621 {\an8}Wait a minute. Is he coming on to me? 220 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,373 I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, 221 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,666 what's the harm? 222 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:26,709 Oh, my God. 223 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,252 He is coming on to me. 224 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:32,173 After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. 225 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,299 (snickers) 226 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,675 (clicks tongue) 227 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,676 Ahh! 228 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,386 Sorry, Mr. Burns, 229 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,639 but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. 230 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,308 Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, 231 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,934 but the answer is no. 232 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,603 (sighs) 233 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,271 Lisa, so you won't be scared, 234 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,191 I'll show you some of the tools I'll be using. 235 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,109 This is the scraper, 236 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,861 this is the poker, 237 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:57,657 and this happy little fellow is the gouger. 238 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,159 Uh-huh. 239 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,244 Now, the first thing I'll be doing 240 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:05,289 is chiseling some teeth out of your jawbone. 241 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,249 Hold still while I gas you. 242 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,422 ('60s music playing) 243 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,277 (cockney accent) Look, fellas. 244 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,946 It's Lisa in the sky. 245 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,447 No diamonds, though. 246 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,450 Look out for the campy drawing of Queen Victoria! 247 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,119 All: Oh, no! 248 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,620 For the love of God, help us! 249 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,746 -Help us! -Help us! 250 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,501 The mirror. 251 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,295 The mirror! 252 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,967 (evil cackling) 253 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,309 Honey, you look fine. 254 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,477 (barking) 255 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:10,771 (yelping) 256 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,735 (doorbell rings) 257 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,153 Who is it? 258 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,195 MAN: Goons. 259 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,196 HOMER: Who? 260 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,364 Hired goons. 261 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,490 Hired goons? 262 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,080 (sinister laughing) 263 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:38,090 Ah, Homer. I hope Crusher and Low Blow didn't hurt you. 264 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,426 You know, you could have just called me. 265 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,720 Oh, yes, but the telephone is so impersonal. 266 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,972 I prefer the hands-on touch 267 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,932 you only get with hired goons. 268 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,726 Hired goons? 269 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,520 This is the largest TV in the free world. 270 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,569 Aiee! Un gato malodoro! 271 00:12:58,652 --> 00:12:59,528 (shivering groan) 272 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,408 This is a thousand monkeys 273 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,243 working at a thousand typewriters. 274 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,870 Soon, they'll have written 275 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,665 the greatest novel known to man. Let's see. 276 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:15,419 "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times!" 277 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,214 -You stupid monkey! -(chattering) 278 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,507 Oh, shut up. 279 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,551 (footsteps trudging) 280 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,346 And this is my basement. 281 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,389 Gee, it's not as nice as the other rooms. 282 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,058 Yes, I really should stop 283 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,184 ending the tour with it. 284 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,145 Now, let's get down to business. 285 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,605 HOMER: Oh, man, 286 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,565 I really have to go to the bathroom. 287 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,235 Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon? 288 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,070 Now, Homer, I know what you're thinking, 289 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,239 and I want to take the pressure off. 290 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,282 It doesn't take a whiz to see 291 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,700 that you're looking out for number one. 292 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,911 Well, listen to me and you'll make 293 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,621 a big splash very soon. 294 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,706 Which way to the bathroom? 295 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,542 Oh, it's the 23rd door on the left. 296 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,001 Nope. 297 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,336 Nope. 298 00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,295 Nope. 299 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,006 Ah, he wouldn't even hear me out. 300 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,508 (grunting) 301 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,009 Find the bathroom all right? 302 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,762 Uh... yeah. 303 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,771 Well, you've won this round, Simpson. 304 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,440 But I'll grind you into the earth like a bug. 305 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,192 (maniacal laughing) 306 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,569 (screaming) 307 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,697 {\an8}Simpson, be a dear and rub my legs 308 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,198 {\an8}till the feeling comes back. 309 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,701 A bug, I tell you! 310 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,160 A bug! 311 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,997 (maniacal laughter) 312 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:33,998 (groans) 313 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,125 (sighs) I'm going to resign. 314 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,377 I don't know why they made me union president 315 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,628 in the first place. 316 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,172 Because they love you down at the plant. 317 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,716 Yeah, you're right. 318 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,719 Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, 319 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,555 pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh. 320 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,391 Hmm. That doesn't sound like they like you at all. 321 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,559 You know, I think you're right. 322 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,060 First thing tomorrow morning, 323 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,021 I'm going to punch Lenny in the back of the head. 324 00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:59,064 Hmm. (grunts) 325 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,861 Batten down those cowlicks. 326 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,696 Straighten that part. 327 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,406 Uncross those eyes, mister. 328 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,449 But I can't! 329 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,117 Oh, sorry, Quigley. 330 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,745 Come on, honey, smile. 331 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,664 I bet you've got a beautiful smile. 332 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,666 Why don't you share it with the world? 333 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,753 (gasping) There is no God! 334 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,673 Fellow workers, I've been meeting 335 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,967 with Mr. Burns day and night and I've had enough. 336 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,011 (chanting) Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! 337 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,554 All in favor of a strike? 338 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,555 ALL: Aye! 339 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:32,556 All opposed? 340 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,641 MAN (with nebbish voice): Nay. 341 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,059 Who keeps saying that? 342 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,938 (nebbish voice) It was him. 343 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,898 Let's get him, fellas. 344 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,983 (angry muttering) 345 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:45,611 (chuckling) 346 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,157 (guitar strumming softly) 347 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,913 ♪ Come gather 'round, children ♪ 348 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,123 ♪ It's high time ye learns ♪ 349 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,250 ♪ 'Bout a hero named Homer ♪ 350 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,004 ♪ And a devil named Burns ♪ 351 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,173 ♪ We'll march till we drop ♪ 352 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,676 ♪ The girls and the fellas ♪ 353 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,469 ♪ We'll fight till the death ♪ 354 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:14,890 ♪ Or else fold like umbrellas... ♪ 355 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,142 (shouting and grunting) 356 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,561 Ah, this is the life. 357 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,021 Smithers, get me some strikebreakers. 358 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,691 The kind they had in the '30s. 359 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,276 We can't bust heads like we used to. 360 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,195 But we have our ways. 361 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,197 (murmuring in agreement) 362 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,241 One trick is to tell them stories 363 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,243 that don't go anywhere. 364 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,413 Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. 365 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,582 I needed a new heel for my shoe, 366 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,253 so I decided to go to Morganville, 367 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,589 which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. 368 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,092 So I tied an onion to my belt, 369 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,219 which was the style at the time. 370 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:55,097 Now, to take the ferry costs a nickel, 371 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,807 and in those days, 372 00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:00,060 nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 373 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,938 "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. 374 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,189 Now, where were we? 375 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,276 Oh, yeah. The important thing was 376 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,069 that I had an onion on my belt, 377 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,488 which was the style at the time. 378 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,741 They didn't have white onions 379 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,325 because of the war. 380 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,077 The only thing you could get 381 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,996 was those big, yellow ones. 382 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,914 (shouting angrily) 383 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,374 Full power, Smithers. 384 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,003 (screaming) 385 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,301 ♪ So we'll march day and night ♪ 386 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,095 ♪ By the big cooling tower ♪ 387 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,264 ♪ They have the plant ♪ 388 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:41,685 ♪ But we have the power ♪ 389 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,107 Now do "Classical Gas". 390 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,944 (playing "Classical Gas") 391 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,750 Ooh, look at him strutting around like he's cock of the walk. 392 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:05,918 Well, let me tell you. 393 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,087 Homer Simpson is cock of nothing. 394 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,213 Hmm? 395 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:12,382 Why, you and I can run this plant ourselves. 396 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,093 (upbeat music playing) 397 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,126 ROBOTS: Crush, kill, destroy. 398 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,337 Tonight on Smartline: 399 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,173 "The Power Plant Strike-- Argle-bargle or Foofooraw?" 400 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,424 With us tonight 401 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,385 are plant owner C.M. Burns, 402 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,595 union kingpin Homer Simpson, 403 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,764 and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce brothers. 404 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,432 I brought my own mic. 405 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,101 Yes, well... 406 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:07,855 Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur. 407 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:08,772 (screams) 408 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,732 Uh, my director's telling me 409 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,442 not to talk to you anymore. 410 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,403 -Whoo-hoo! -Uh, Mr. Burns, 411 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,446 you mentioned you wanted an opening tirade? 412 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,614 Yes, thank you, Kent. 413 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,199 15 minutes from now, 414 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,161 I will wreak a terrible vengeance on this city. 415 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,204 No one will be spared! 416 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,081 No one! 417 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,292 (chuckles) A chilling vision of things to come. 418 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,109 Oh, for God's sake. 419 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,402 (whines) 420 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,114 Good-bye, Springfield. 421 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,117 From hell's heart, I stab at thee. 422 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,874 (plant powering down) 423 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,265 ♪ So we'll march day and night ♪ 424 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,143 ♪ By the big cooling tower ♪ 425 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,937 ♪ They have the plant ♪ 426 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,356 ♪ But we have the power ♪ 427 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,150 ♪ So we'll march day and night ♪ 428 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,277 ♪ By the big cooling tower ♪ 429 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:41,782 ♪ They have the plant, but we have the power ♪ 430 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,200 Look at them all 431 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,785 through the darkness I'm bringing. 432 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,537 They're not sad at all. They're actually singing. 433 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,291 They sing without juicers. 434 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,294 They sing without blenders. 435 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:58,423 They sing without flunjers, capdabblers, and smendlers. 436 00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,841 Dooh... 437 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,885 Tell Simpson I'm ready to deal. 438 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,637 All right, Homer. 439 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,555 You can have the dental plan 440 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,474 on one condition. 441 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,352 You must resign as head of the union. 442 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,270 Whoo-hoo! 443 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,188 (hooting loudly) 444 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,733 Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson 445 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,861 was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was. 446 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,154 (hooting) 447 00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,246 We're going back to work. 448 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,289 STRIKERS: Yay! 449 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,999 (plant powering up) 450 00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,543 {\an8}(sultry music plays) 451 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,548 (splurting) 452 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,508 All: Yay! 453 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,805 Oh, honey, you can hardly see your new braces. 454 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,640 And that's the tooth. 455 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,773 Oops. I left the gas on. 456 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,744 (laughing continues) 457 00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,747 ♪♪ 458 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,291 Shh. 459 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:02,464 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.