1 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,755 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,893 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:43,376 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,255 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,637 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,726 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,020 (tires screech) 10 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,692 -Aah! -(tires screech) 11 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,503 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: Live from the Springfield Center 12 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,004 {\an8}for the Performing Arts, 13 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,547 {\an8}the wrestling match of the century. 14 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,717 {\an8}Today, Rasputin, the friendly Russian. 15 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,969 {\an8}Didn't he used to be the Mad Russian? 16 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,763 {\an8}Yes, but I'm afraid the forces of history 17 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,807 {\an8}have changed wrestling perhaps forever. 18 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,267 {\an8}And the challenger from the University of Heidelberg 19 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,312 {\an8}Professor Werner Von Brawn. That's Brawn with a "W." 20 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,815 {\an8}Two titans at the height of their careers. 21 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,900 {\an8}Oh, if you ask me... 22 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,819 {\an8}this is going to be one hell of a match. 23 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,154 {\an8}Oh Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. 24 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,281 {\an8}Even a five-year-old knows 25 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,991 {\an8}that this is as choreographed as any ballet. 26 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,537 {\an8}Rasputin's got the reach but on the other hand, 27 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,455 {\an8}the Professor's got his patented "coma lock." 28 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,041 {\an8}If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match. 29 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,627 MOE: Oh, look at that show-off. 30 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:11,589 -Kissing his own muscles. Bull! -(burping) 31 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,007 Rasputin is spinning the Professor 32 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,509 like an auto-gyro. 33 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:15,677 That's got to be disorienting. 34 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,303 Hey, Milhouse, crank it up. 35 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,642 Hey, that's my seat. 36 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,394 Correction: was your seat. 37 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,147 But I only got up to go to the can. 38 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,567 Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool. 39 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,694 One... two... three... 40 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,779 four... five... six... 41 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,282 seven... eight... nine... 42 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:41,452 The ref is issuing a warning to Rasputin. 43 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,745 -CROWD: Boo! -(clank) 44 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,831 ANNOUNCER: Oh, my, oh, my! 45 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,876 Why is the referee permitting this? 46 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:51,504 -CROWD: Boo! Boo! Hiss! -(bell rings) 47 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,841 Boo! Hiss! Boo! 48 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,968 Boo! Boo! 49 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,469 This Saturday, for one night only, 50 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,430 your life will be changed forever. 51 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,307 Saturday, Saturday, Saturday! 52 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,184 At the Springfield Speedway, Speedway, Speedway! 53 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,144 Don "Crusher" Woodard! John "The Skunk" Tremaine! 54 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,396 And the Team Kamaratsu dirt-riding dunk-masters 55 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,773 at the year's biggest monster truck rally! 56 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,525 One night only. Plus the amazing 57 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,444 the astounding, the unbelievable-- 58 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,112 Truckasaurus! 59 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,199 Twenty tons and four stories of car-crunching 60 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,784 fire-breathing, prehistoric insanity! 61 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,953 -TOGETHER: Whoa! -One night only! 62 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,497 One night only! One night only at the Springfield Speedway! 63 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,459 This Saturday! If you miss this, you'd better be dead or in jail. 64 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,795 And if you're in jail, break out! 65 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,297 Be there! Be there! 66 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,090 (echoing) Be there! 67 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,300 (tires squeal) 68 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,559 -Truckasaurus! -Truckasaurus! 69 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,478 (glass clinking) 70 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,317 I have an announcement to make. As a family growth thing, 71 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,902 Bart and I think we should all go 72 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,987 to the monster truck rally this Saturday. 73 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,781 Aren't you forgetting something? 74 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:04,118 Uh... Monster truck rally... growth thing... 75 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,536 No, I don't think so. 76 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,622 Lisa's recital is Saturday night. 77 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,123 I'll be playing my first solo. 78 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,084 If you miss it on Saturday, 79 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,711 I'd advise you to start looking for a child therapist on Sunday. 80 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,630 But Truckasaurus is one night only! 81 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:19,342 Oh, cruel fate, why do you mock me? 82 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,343 -(crying) -(crying) 83 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,178 Now come on, you two. 84 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,555 What time does your little truck game start? 85 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,808 8:00, but what does it matter? 86 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,560 Well, Lisa's recital starts at 5:00. 87 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,271 -We can go to both. -(gasps) 88 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,524 Marge, you're a genius. 89 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,568 People, let's have good assembly manners, please. Hmm? 90 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,321 -People. People! -(instruments tuning) 91 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,198 Quiet down now, please. 92 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,367 Don't make me flick the lights on and off. 93 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,868 Thank you. 94 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,871 Ladies, gentlemen, parents and music lovers. 95 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,541 Welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts. 96 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,376 Series? Oh! 97 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,628 Tonight, Sherbert's-- (chuckles) 98 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,047 Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. 99 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,132 Oh good. Unfinished. 100 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,383 -This shouldn't take long. -(groans) 101 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,678 -(tapping) -Remember, children. Stay together. 102 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,097 Five, six, seven, eight... 103 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,307 ♪♪ (Unfinished Symphony plays) 104 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,527 (saxophone solo) 105 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,789 -That was beautiful. -(solo continues) 106 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:32,915 Can we go now? 107 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,709 -Sit down, Homer. -Grrr! 108 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,922 How much longer was Sherbert planning on making 109 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,758 this piece of junk? 110 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,260 Oh, my, Lisa was wonderful. 111 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,471 She certainly has come a long way with her fingering. 112 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,930 Thanks, Flanders. 113 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,515 Big know-it-all. 114 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,392 -When's Todd's solo, Dad? -Shh. 115 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,187 It's coming up, son. It's coming up. 116 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,438 (violin solo begins ) 117 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,282 (sniffling ) 118 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,577 My son, my son. 119 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:13,122 Come on, Flanders. He's not that bad. 120 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,584 ♪♪ ("1812 Overture" plays) 121 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,550 (loud clanging) 122 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:42,402 (cheering and applause) 123 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:46,197 (Homer humming "1812 Overture" and honking) 124 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,576 -I reached him. -Homer, drive defensively. 125 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,579 HOMER: Sometime's the best defense is a good offense. 126 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,124 Faster, Dad. Truckasaurus awaits. 127 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,586 HOMER: Damn, no spots. 128 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,464 Oh, I think there's one over there. 129 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,758 (crowd yelling) 130 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:15,017 -Dad? -Not now, Lisa. Come on. 131 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,061 -Homer? -HOMER: What? 132 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,438 It's Truckasaurus! 133 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,439 Where? Where? 134 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,107 (screaming) 135 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:31,993 (screaming continues) 136 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,162 (roaring) 137 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,546 Pull! Pull, you dogs! 138 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,047 MECHANIC: Well, let's see here. 139 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,258 Cracked windshield, melted bumpers, 140 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:50,553 punctured radiator, teeth marks on the trunk. 141 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,096 (chuckles) On the plus side 142 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,723 there doesn't seem to be any frame damage. 143 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,975 This check should take care of everything. 144 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:59,020 -Thank you so much. -Mrs. Simpson? 145 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:02,732 I'm Leo G. Clark, inventor, owner and operator of Truckasaurus. 146 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,777 Let me just say that, Truckasaurus feels very badly about what happened 147 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,865 and everyone here at Team Truckasaurus would like you to enjoy 148 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,075 this half bottle of domestic champagne for being such good sports. 149 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,119 Mmm. Well, thank you. 150 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,664 Gee, everyone's so nice here at the Monster Truck Rally. 151 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:23,753 -Look Homer, champagne! -(straining) 152 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:28,132 ANNOUNCER (on P.A.): And now, Majestic Undercoating is proud to present: 153 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,093 Ms. Monster! 154 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,346 Wow, a woman mud-pull driver. 155 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:38,267 Another barrier broken. Ride on, sister! 156 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,977 Let the destruction begin! 157 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,272 Hey, they forgot my corn dog. 158 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,774 Give me some nachos, Homersaurus. 159 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,108 Here you go, Bartasaurus. 160 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,861 (both chuckle) 161 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,780 ANNOUNCER: For our last event of the evening, 162 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,907 we have a special surprise guest! 163 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,617 The world's greatest daredevil. 164 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,078 The man who's no stranger to danger. 165 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,413 If he's not in action, he's in traction. 166 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,333 Captain Lance Murdock! 167 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:05,127 (cheering and applause) 168 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:09,006 Ladies and gentlemen and especially little children, 169 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,883 I'm glad you're all here to witness 170 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,095 what may very well be my grisly death. 171 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:17,139 Tonight, my most dangerous stunt. 172 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,309 I will death defy both nature and gravity 173 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,144 by leaping over this tank of water 174 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,314 filled with man-eating great white sharks, 175 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,275 deadly electric eels, 176 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,278 ravenous piranhas, bone-crushing alligators, 177 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,446 and perhaps the most frightening of all, 178 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:37,243 the king of the jungle, one ferocious lion! 179 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,244 -Ohh! -Ohh! 180 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,913 Oh, and... (laughing) 181 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,207 I almost forgot. 182 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:48,629 To add a real element of danger, one drop of human blood. 183 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,885 And on chance I don't survive, let me just say: 184 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:58,014 seat belts save lives, so buckle up. 185 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,520 This is so cool. 186 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,111 Oh, I can't watch! 187 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,328 -(tires screech) -He made it! 188 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,998 (cheering) 189 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,251 (gasping) 190 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,590 Bitchin'! 191 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,428 ANNOUNCER: He's okay, folks. 192 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,306 (cheering) 193 00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,726 (muffler rattles) 194 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,441 What a fun-filled evening. 195 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,570 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, 196 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,864 the ten-year-old who's brave and bold. 197 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,700 When he's not in class, he's risking his ass. 198 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,746 The world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson! 199 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,498 (chanting) Bart! Bart! Bart! 200 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:06,749 Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! 201 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,377 Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! 202 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,712 Bart, Bart. 203 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,130 -We're home, son. -Huh? 204 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,927 Dad, I want to be a daredevil. 205 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,221 (chuckles) Kids say such stupid things. 206 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,727 You're crazy, Bart. 207 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,312 You're never gonna make it. 208 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,772 Spare me your lectures, ladies. 209 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,738 -Ahh! -(gasping) 210 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,407 Oh, no, he's hurt. 211 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,492 -Bad. -Let's get out of here. 212 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,338 Oh, my little boy. (kissing) 213 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,882 Come on Marge, we're mad at him. 214 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,051 -Are you all right? -Better than all right. 215 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,387 -I got stitches. -TOGETHER: Eww. 216 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,264 Probably a scar too. 217 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,183 Mrs. Simpson, Bart tells me he injured himself 218 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,644 training for a career in death defiance? 219 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,605 Yes, well we saw a daredevil last night, 220 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,733 and, well, you know, monkey see, monkey do. 221 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:17,361 Hmm. I think I know something that might discourage him 222 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,738 from this sort of behavior. 223 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,656 Bart, in this ward are the children 224 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,783 who have been hurt by imitating stunts 225 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,870 they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage. 226 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:32,752 This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman. 227 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,796 This boy's brother 228 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,298 hit him in the head with a wrench, 229 00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,633 mimicking a recent TV wrestling match. 230 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:43,846 I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward. 231 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:47,349 Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence. 232 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,643 Well, as tragic as all this is, 233 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,979 it's a small price to pay for countless hours 234 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,522 of top-notch entertainment. 235 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,065 Amen, huh, Bart? 236 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,984 Has Dr. Hibbert made his point? 237 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,319 He certainly has, Dad. 238 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,613 I learned a real lesson here today. 239 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,823 -Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. -Mmm. 240 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,750 (grunts) 241 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,834 I did it. 242 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,044 -Wow! -All right! 243 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,715 -(cheering) -BOY: Cool! Way happening, Bart! 244 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,010 -Awesome! -Aw, man, you're the king. 245 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,595 -That was so cool. -Thank you. 246 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,931 How about a hand for these brave little animals. 247 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,933 (cheering) 248 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,142 (snoring) 249 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,477 (cheering) 250 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,479 Huh? Huh? Oh... 251 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,439 Hi, kids. Thanks. 252 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:39,360 Okay, field trippers, off the bus. 253 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,278 What's the matter, Bart? 254 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,322 Aw, I'm runnin' on empty, Milhouse. 255 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,199 You kids get a kick out of my jumps 256 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:49,203 and I love you for it, but it's all too easy. 257 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:52,373 There has got to be a challenge out there worthy of me. 258 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:56,043 Hello, children, and welcome to Springfield Gorge. 259 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,503 BART: Wow! 260 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,547 Man, this thing's pretty gnarly. 261 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,841 I bet you could throw a dead body in there 262 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,551 and no one would ever find it. 263 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,761 Otto, I'm going to leap over Springfield Gorge 264 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,972 on my skateboard. 265 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,558 You know, Bart, as the only adult here, 266 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,184 I feel I should say something. 267 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,770 -What? -Cool! 268 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,981 -(wind blows) -(birds chirping) 269 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:25,823 ♪♪ (Otto hums "Purple Haze") 270 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:28,784 Hey, Otto, can I use that microphone? 271 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,662 ♪ Do-do-do da-do-do-do... ♪ 272 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,748 Sorry, Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. 273 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,125 ♪ Do-do-do da-do-do-do... ♪ 274 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,793 But I want to tell them about my jump. 275 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,169 Oh. Okay. 276 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,380 May I have your attention, please? 277 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,966 This Saturday, I'll be jumping over Springfield Gorge 278 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,175 on my skateboard. 279 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,760 There is a good possibility 280 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,596 I will plunge to my bloody death. 281 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,347 Hope to see you there. Thank you. 282 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:54,643 Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed. 283 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,229 Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get 284 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,481 the same thrill out of jumping over stuff 285 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,484 that you do from... reading. 286 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,903 Please, before you do anything 287 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,697 there's someone I'd like you to talk to. 288 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,533 Thank you for arranging this, Dr. Hibbert. 289 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:13,287 Oh, anything I can do to stem the tide of entertainment-related injury. 290 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,456 Now children, you're about to meet 291 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,917 the world's greatest daredevil, Lance Murdock. 292 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,920 -Lance, this is Lisa and Bart Simpson. -(groans) 293 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,088 Bart is one of your biggest fans. 294 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,507 It's an honor, Lance. How you feeling? 295 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,427 -Uh, I-- Ow. -(bone snaps) 296 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,804 Doc, I heard a snap. 297 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,057 Mmm. I'm afraid the bone's broken. 298 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,475 Well, that's all of them. 299 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,185 -(gasps) -Don't worry, partner. 300 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,020 I've broken that thumb dozens of times. 301 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,481 Hey! I bet you'd like an autograph. Nurse? 302 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:42,441 Who should I make this out to? 303 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,318 Just Bart will be fine, sir. 304 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:48,197 "To Bart. Thanks for visiting me 305 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:53,452 "at Springfield General Hospital. 306 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:58,332 "Your visit was a ray of sunshine 307 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:02,586 "on an otherwise cloudy day. 308 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,799 Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock." 309 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,092 Wow, man. 310 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:11,345 -Thanks, Lance. -You're welcome. 311 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,138 Take this thing out of my mouth now. 312 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,807 Mr. Murdoch, my brother is thinking about 313 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,267 jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard. 314 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:21,188 Could you leave me with the young'uns, please? 315 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:24,400 Now, let me start by saying good for you, son. 316 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,277 It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger. 317 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:30,030 Now, a lot of people are gonna be tellin' you you're crazy, 318 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,658 and maybe they're right, but the fact of the matter is 319 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:35,077 bones heal, chicks dig scars, 320 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,121 and the United States of America 321 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,624 has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world. 322 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,793 -But Captain Murdock! -Thanks, Lance! 323 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,628 You're welcome, little partner. 324 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,755 On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath. 325 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,466 Another fringe benefit. Nurse? 326 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,926 HOMER: Springfield Gorge? 327 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,929 I thought we settled this daredevil junk. 328 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,764 -Squealer. -I'm sorry Bart, 329 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,850 but if you got hurt or died, 330 00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,811 despite the extra attention I'd receive, I'd miss you. 331 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:03,272 Bart, I forbid you to jump over that gorge. 332 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,149 -You can't. -I can and do! 333 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,735 Go to your room, Bart! There, I've done it. 334 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,737 I'm glad somebody finally stepped in 335 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,072 and put an end to this nonsense once and for all. 336 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,074 Hey man, you can tell me not to do it, 337 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,744 but there's no way you can watch me 24 hours a day. 338 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,662 And the minute your back is turned, 339 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,498 I'm grabbing my skateboard and heading for that gorge. 340 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,377 He's got us, Marge. There's nothing we can do. 341 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,921 He's as good as dead. (weeps) 342 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,258 You're his father. You've got to try and reason with him. 343 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,927 No, that never works. He's a goner. 344 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:38,098 Come on, Homer. A heart-to-heart talk with your son. 345 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,600 You've got to try. 346 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:42,311 Okay, okay. I'll try. 347 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,773 Bart? Bart? 348 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,025 -Bart! What are you doing? -Nothing. 349 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:50,611 You were on your way to jump the gorge, weren't you? 350 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:54,281 -Maybe. -Look, I know I can't stop you. 351 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,533 The only thing I can do 352 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,869 is ask you to promise me you won't jump the gorge. 353 00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,704 -Okay. I promise. -D'oh! 354 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,624 -What's the matter? -You didn't mean that. 355 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,210 Bart, this isn't one of those phony baloney promises 356 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:07,753 I don't expect you to keep. 357 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,589 If you make this promise, you have to keep it. 358 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,382 -Why? -Because if you don't, 359 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,218 I'll never believe anything you say 360 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,637 -ever again. -Oh, come on. 361 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,225 -I mean it, boy. -Well, okay, Dad. I promise. 362 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,560 I will not jump Springfield Gorge. 363 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,771 That's my boy. 364 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,773 How'd it go, Homer? 365 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:30,400 You know, Marge, we got a pretty good kid there. 366 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,944 Well, he's got a pretty good father. 367 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,530 (chuckles) 368 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:39,701 Where is he? 369 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,036 I thought he said noon. 370 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,414 Aw, he's just doing this to build the suspense. 371 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,917 -Whoa, what a showman. -Look! There he is. 372 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:58,387 Hey, boy, want to toss the old... 373 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,890 D'oh! Why, that little liar! I shoulda-- 374 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,685 I was going to play pickle with him. 375 00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:09,648 (crowd oohing and aahing) 376 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:26,123 (vehicle approaching) 377 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,249 (tires screeching) 378 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,834 Bart! 379 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,257 (both grunting) 380 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,217 -Boo! -Boo! 381 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,261 Hey, what gives? 382 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,847 Boy, I tried ordering you. I tried punishing you, 383 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,683 and God help me, I even tried reasoning with you, 384 00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,811 and the only thing left for me to do is jump the gorge myself. 385 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:48,812 What? Why? 386 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,856 Because that way, you'll see what it's like 387 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:55,319 to witness a family member stupidly risking his life for no good reason. 388 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,946 But Dad, you'll never make it. 389 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,115 Don't you think I know that? 390 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:06,205 -Good-bye, son. -Wait, Dad! Don't do it! 391 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,457 I won't jump anymore, I promise. 392 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:12,502 Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God. 393 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,922 -I love you, Dad. -I love you, too, son. 394 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,007 You know, boy, I don't think 395 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,550 I've ever felt as close to you 396 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,302 as I do right-- 397 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,096 Huh? What? (shouting) 398 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,475 (screaming) 399 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,143 -Ooh! -Ooh! 400 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,854 I'm going to make it! I'm going to make it! 401 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,648 This is the greatest thrill of my life. 402 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,066 I'm king of the world. 403 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,818 Woo hoo! Woo hoo! I-- 404 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,153 (screaming) 405 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,697 Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Oh! 406 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,659 (grunting) 407 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,535 (grunting continues) 408 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,500 Ow! 409 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:58,173 Ow! Ooh! 410 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,258 Ow! 411 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:03,845 (siren wails) 412 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,100 (Homer screaming) 413 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,269 Ow! Ow! Ahh! 414 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,272 (grunting, crying out) 415 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,319 You think you got guts. Try raising my kids. 416 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,616 {\an8}♪♪ 417 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:43,528 Shh! 418 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:48,492 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.