1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,547 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,177 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,262 (tires screech) 4 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,974 D'oh! 5 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,059 -Aah! -(tires screeching) 6 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,869 ANNOUNCER: We now return to Knightboat, the crime-solving boat. 7 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,580 Faster, Knightboat. We've got to catch those starfish poachers. 8 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,041 You don't have to yell, Michael. I'm all around you. 9 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,127 Oh, no! They're headed for land. 10 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,507 We'll never catch them now. 11 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,551 Incorrect. Look! A canal. 12 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,053 Go, Knightboat, go! 13 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,055 Oh, every week there's a canal. 14 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,182 -Or an inlet. -Or a fjord. 15 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,101 Quiet! I will not hear another word against the boat. 16 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,228 Okay, TV off-- It's family time. 17 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,022 Oh, but, Marge! 18 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:07,776 Knightboat-- The crime-solving boat. 19 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,694 Homer, you promised-- 20 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,362 One night of family time a week. 21 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,491 Besides, that back-talking boat sets a bad example. 22 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,784 Says you, woman. 23 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,911 (all groaning) 24 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,747 All right, family time begins now. 25 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,459 (ticking) 26 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,336 (yawns) 27 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,004 (yawns) 28 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,756 (rapid ticking) 29 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,049 Homer! 30 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,592 It was Bart. 31 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:34,260 Why don't we all look at the photo album? 32 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,221 So many memories. 33 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,972 Ah, look... 34 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,140 Knightboat. 35 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,351 LISA AND BART: Aw... 36 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,229 And here's our TV next to the mirror. 37 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,689 It looks like we have two. 38 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,359 -Wow. Two. -Wow. Two. 39 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,693 Yeah, yeah, yeah-- Two. 40 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,779 Let's get to the baby pictures. 41 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,405 (Homer, Bart and Lisa groan) 42 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,573 That's exciting. 43 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,534 BART: Oh, please. 44 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,327 (Lisa chuckling) 45 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,537 (Bart snickering) 46 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,456 Here's Bart sleeping. 47 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,125 Here he is dozing. 48 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,002 Here he is after a visit from the sandman. 49 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,755 Ooh, here's nappy-time, Bart. 50 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,508 Here's a cute one-- He's all tuckered out. 51 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,343 Why aren't there any pictures of Maggie? 52 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:18,638 Well, I'm glad you asked. 53 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:21,141 It's actually a very interesting story. 54 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,809 (Bart and Lisa groan) 55 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:26,604 It all began about two years ago before Maggie was even born. 56 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,439 Bart, you were Lisa's age. 57 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:32,110 And Lisa, you were... The age Bart was several years ago. 58 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,570 Get the camera ready. 59 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,196 (yawning) Bart very sleepy. 60 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,699 Listen carefully, and my words will shape images 61 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,909 as clear as any TV show. 62 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,871 It was a tumultuous time for our nation. 63 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:46,124 The clear beverage craze gave us all a reason to live. 64 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,127 The information superhighway showed the average person 65 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,296 what some nerd thinks about Star Trek 66 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:56,551 and the domestication of the dog continued unabated. 67 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,179 I was at my workstation when suddenly... 68 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,972 MAN: Attention, American workers. 69 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:04,434 Your plant has been taken over by an all-star team 70 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,687 of freelance terrorists. 71 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,689 Not on my shift! 72 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,947 (karate yells) 73 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,991 Oh, no, you don't. 74 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,204 Simpson 10, terrorists 8. 75 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,456 (chuckling) 76 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,666 MARGE: Homer, tell the story right. 77 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,043 HOMER: Okay. 78 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:34,505 (coughing) 79 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,049 Homer, you should see a doctor. 80 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,508 I don't think a healthy man 81 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:38,927 can make that kind of smell. 82 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,053 Your paychecks, gentlemen. 83 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,722 (gasps) 84 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,932 Whoo-hoo! 85 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,350 This is it. 86 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,477 With this single, glorious check 87 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,480 I'm finally completely out of debt! 88 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,904 Yes! With my bills paid off 89 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,156 I can finally quit this lousy job. 90 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,533 But Homer, how you going to make a living? 91 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,285 Don't worry about Homer J. 92 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,079 I've got a plan... 93 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,665 A plan that will fix you good. 94 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,958 Hey, what did we do? 95 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,334 Sorry. That just slipped out. 96 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,919 I'll miss you. 97 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,712 Did you hear me? 98 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,965 I said I quit, Monty! 99 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,176 And since I quit, I can do anything I want. 100 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,678 Is that so? 101 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,805 Ooh, lovely desk. 102 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,181 It would be too bad if someone... 103 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,558 Oh, I don't know... 104 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,061 Didn't use a coaster! 105 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,854 -(gasps) -(cackling) 106 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,232 Such a nice, tidy office. 107 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,526 Maybe it's time you started living like a pig! 108 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,944 (grunting) 109 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,404 (sputtering) 110 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:43,992 Oh, I hope I haven't upset you... Bongo head! 111 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:47,870 (chanting gibberish) 112 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:52,041 Oh, I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage. 113 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,751 And island rhythms. 114 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,379 (cheering) 115 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,966 Yeah! Way to play the boss's head like a bongo, Homer. 116 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,176 He's getting a pretty good sound out of that guy. 117 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,762 And.... uh! 118 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,223 Ee! Ooh! Ow! Uh! 119 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,143 That's for employing me for eight years! 120 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,602 (laughing) 121 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,941 And that is that. 122 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:21,863 Good-bye, mind-numbing, backbreaking labor forever. 123 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:24,574 Hello, dream job in paradise. 124 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,287 (contented sigh) 125 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:33,583 And now, the final phase of my plan. 126 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,380 Hey, Barney, any chance you can get me a job here? 127 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,757 Oh, sure, Homer. 128 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,343 I told you, my uncle owns the place. 129 00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,888 Hey, Uncle Al, can Homer have a job? 130 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,806 -Sure. -Whoo-hoo! 131 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,808 (giggling) 132 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:51,851 Barney, you're fired. 133 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,186 Okay. 134 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,063 Show up tomorrow. Bring three rags. 135 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,856 Oh, and a change of pants. 136 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,900 -Why? -When it happens, you'll know. 137 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,653 You're a pin monkey? 138 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,156 Wow. Finally I don't have to be ashamed 139 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,532 of my father's job. 140 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,159 I think it's romantic, 141 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,952 throwing off your shackles of the workday world 142 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,038 and following a dream... Of sorts. 143 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:14,290 I don't know if it's such a good idea. 144 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,167 Can we get by on a pin monkey's salary? 145 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,919 Don't worry, Marge. 146 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,755 I've come up with a perfectly balanced budget. 147 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,757 There will be exactly enough money 148 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,385 for you, me, Bart and Lisa, 149 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,970 if we make a few small sacrifices. 150 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,890 Mm-hmm. 151 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,976 From now on, we use regular toilet paper 152 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,479 not that fancy quilted kind. 153 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,272 (grunting) 154 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,566 And only one of you kids can go to college. 155 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,110 -Fine. -Fine. 156 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,987 That night your mother and I 157 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,323 went out for a romantic evening 158 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,242 to celebrate the start of our new life. 159 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,494 We began with dinner and dancing. 160 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,121 ♪ At the Copa ♪ 161 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,706 ♪ Copacabana ♪ 162 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,126 ♪ The hottest spot north of Havana ♪ 163 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,836 ♪ At the Copa... ♪ 164 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,921 (humming) 165 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,757 Followed by a stroll on the beach. 166 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,265 Marge. 167 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,891 Homer. 168 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,727 I've got sand in my underpants. 169 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,479 Me too. Let's go home. 170 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,701 (grunting) 171 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,162 (chuckling) 172 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,748 (grunting) 173 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,834 Whew. 174 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,919 I love you, Marge. 175 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,255 I love you, too, Homey. 176 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,882 Everything in our lives 177 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,759 is finally perfectly balanced. 178 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,721 I hope things stay exactly like this forever. 179 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,473 Mm-hmm. 180 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,603 -D'oh! -D'oh! 181 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,730 -D'oh! -D'oh! 182 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:01,856 Whoo-hoo! 183 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,817 ALL: Eww! 184 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,611 Did you have to be so graphic? 185 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,070 It's okay, Marge. 186 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,573 They pave the way for this kind of filth in school. 187 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,867 So Dad, were you excited that Mom was pregnant? 188 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,911 Actually, your mother hadn't told me yet. 189 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,539 At that time, I had no idea Maggie even existed. 190 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,666 -Dad! -Dad! 191 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:22,793 Hi, Maggie. 192 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:29,675 So, anyhoo, back then there was no way for me to know 193 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,053 your mother was pregnant. 194 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,806 (retching) 195 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,850 Marge, you tie up the bathroom every morning. 196 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,310 I've got to wash my hair. 197 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,188 The next few weeks at my dream job 198 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,398 were like a wonderful waking coma. 199 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,611 Hey, Homer. 200 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,862 -Hi there, Homer. -Hi there, Homer. 201 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,364 -Hi, Homer. -Hi, there, Homer. 202 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,865 Hi. 203 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,284 (sniffing) 204 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,204 Mmm, bowling fresh. 205 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,209 (sniffing) 206 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,295 Mmm, urinal fresh. 207 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,880 (pins clatter) 208 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,173 (bell dings) 209 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,262 (whirring) 210 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,221 (bell dings) 211 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:21,185 Homer, did you polish your head in the Shine-o Ball-o? 212 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,853 -No. -Okay, then. 213 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,481 Whoo! 214 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,358 I slowly learned 215 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,443 the intricate mysteries of the alley, 216 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,529 like where the pins go after they're knocked down. 217 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,781 ♪♪ 218 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,424 Mm-hmm. 219 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,175 I was in heaven. 220 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,469 If horse racing is the sport of kings, 221 00:09:55,553 --> 00:10:00,266 then surely bowling is a very good sport as well. 222 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,559 Hey, great job, Homer. 223 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:02,768 Thanks a lot, Homer. 224 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,478 Hey, you're the best. 225 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:09,817 ♪ I'm gonna make it after all ♪ 226 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:10,776 (grunts) 227 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,072 Congratulations, Mrs. Simpson. You're pregnant. 228 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,991 Mmm... 229 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,035 Am I to take it that this is-- 230 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,244 (chuckles) 231 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,121 ...an unwanted pregnancy? 232 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,832 Oh, no, no, not exactly. 233 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,834 It's just that I haven't told Homer yet. 234 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,878 And with his new job, 235 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,838 I don't know how we're going to be able to afford this. 236 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:35,134 Well, you know, a healthy baby can bring upwards of $60,000. 237 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,970 -What? -Well, of course, that was just a test. 238 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,723 Had you reacted differently, why, you'd be in jail right now. 239 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:41,932 Simply a test. 240 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,893 (laughing) 241 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,561 So in a few months, 242 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,897 both of you will have a brand new brother or sister. 243 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,273 Been there. Done that. 244 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,608 I hope it's a girl. 245 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,360 You know nothing about genetics, Lis. 246 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,654 It goes boy, girl, boy, girl. 247 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,822 You're worried about telling Dad, aren't you, Mom? 248 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,491 Why do you say that? 249 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:01,160 Well, you've been in my room for about four hours now. 250 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,912 Hey, I'm just hanging. 251 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,004 Homey, I... 252 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,673 Can't talk. Praying. 253 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,384 Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me, 254 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,885 and I am thankful. 255 00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,762 For the first time in my life, 256 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:23,933 everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. 257 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,518 Mmm... 258 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,727 So here's the deal. 259 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,521 You freeze everything as it is, 260 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,564 and I won't ask for anything more. 261 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,149 If that is okay, 262 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,567 please give me absolutely no sign. 263 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,027 Okay, deal. 264 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,363 In gratitude, I present you this offering 265 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:38,864 of cookies and milk. 266 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,282 If you want me to eat them for you, 267 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,492 give me no sign. 268 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,369 Thy will be done. 269 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,455 (gulping) 270 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,457 Oogie-boogie-boogie- boogie-boogie-boo. 271 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,793 Oogie-boogie- boogie-boogie-boo. 272 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:51,836 (coughing) 273 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,212 (baby coughs) 274 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,548 I've got to tell Homer about this baby 275 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,426 in just the right way and at just the right time. 276 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,470 Until then, please, keep this to yourselves. 277 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,681 Oh, if he found out now, 278 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,224 it would probably destroy him, huh? 279 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,976 Oh, yes. 280 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,352 -Gotta go. -Gotta go. 281 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,230 Wait a minute! Wait! I know that look. 282 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,190 Now, promise you won't tell Homer. 283 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,694 Oh, we promise we won't tell... Homer. 284 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,744 Hello, is this A. Aaronson? 285 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,370 It might interest you to know 286 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,206 that Marge Simpson is pregnant again. 287 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:35,129 Just thought you'd like to know, Mr. Zakowski. 288 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,047 (sighs) There. 289 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:40,384 Aaronson and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town. 290 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,721 In an hour, everyone will know. 291 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,724 Ah, another perfect day in my perfect life 292 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,602 with my perfect job. 293 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:52,396 Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box. 294 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,564 That's nice work, Homer. 295 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:54,982 Thank you! 296 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,360 Thank you very much. It is nice work. 297 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,946 Oh, Mr. Simpson, I have just heard 298 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,448 about the little bundle of joy. 299 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,909 -Congratulations, sir. -It's true. 300 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:08,370 The bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money. 301 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,540 Hey, Homer! 302 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,334 Way to get Marge pregnant. 303 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:14,794 Heh-heh-heh. 304 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,630 This is getting very abstract, but thank you. 305 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,090 I do enjoy working at the bowling alley. 306 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:25,054 ALL: Surprise! Baby shower! 307 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,597 Baby shower? 308 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,557 You know I haven't told Homer yet, 309 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,476 and he'll be home any minute. 310 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,685 -Oh, really? -Oh, really? 311 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,562 (gasps) 312 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,607 Phew. 313 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,943 Man, it's windy as hell out there. 314 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,028 Hey, wait a minute. 315 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,113 What are all these presents? 316 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:47,535 It looks like you're showering Marge with gifts. 317 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,370 Hmm... 318 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:53,457 With little tiny, baby-sized gifts. 319 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,876 Well, I'll be in the tub. 320 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,420 By the way, 321 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,548 congratulations on your new job, Homer. 322 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,383 New job? 323 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,385 Marge is pregnant? 324 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:07,179 No! 325 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,306 (screaming) 326 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,641 (door slamming) 327 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,476 Wow, Dad. You really threw a tantrum 328 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,894 like a little sissy girl? 329 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,354 Oh, just that one time. 330 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,690 Actually, when I was about to have Bart... 331 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,984 (gasps) You're pregnant? 332 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,652 (screaming) 333 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,529 (screaming) 334 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,990 And then when I told him about Lisa... 335 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,283 You're pregnant again? 336 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,952 (screaming) 337 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,912 -(screaming) -(door slams) 338 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,581 Well, who wouldn't be upset? 339 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,332 That new baby in your mother's womb 340 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,917 was a ticking time bomb 341 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,378 threatening to blow this family eight ways from Sunday. 342 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,422 Hey, where are you going? 343 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,341 Dad, you can't expect a person to sit for 30 minutes straight. 344 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,386 I'm going to get a snack and maybe go to the bathroom. 345 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,846 I'll stay here, but I'm going to think 346 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,056 about products I might like to purchase. 347 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,560 Ooh... Mmm... 348 00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:57,104 Ooh... I don't have that. 349 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,192 Oh... You're pregnant! 350 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,569 We're gonna have to have a baby. 351 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,572 All our financial plans are ruined. 352 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:07,656 We're doomed. 353 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,117 Doomed, I tells ya! 354 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,160 (screaming) 355 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,786 Pow! 356 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,163 Bart, let your father tell the story. 357 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,372 Yeah. 358 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,166 Okay, but I know funny. 359 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,751 Anyhoo... 360 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,502 (sobbing) We're doomed. 361 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,547 -MARGE: Homer, you had a head. -HOMER: Check. 362 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,548 MARGE: And your bottom was a little bigger. 363 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,592 Aw... 364 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,469 You've worked hard at the bowling alley. 365 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,179 Why don't you ask for a raise? 366 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,764 Yeah, a raise. 367 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,265 I've never been good enough at any job 368 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,558 to deserve one before, 369 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,644 but I'm damn good at this one. 370 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,897 That's it. I'm going to march right up to Al and say... 371 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,565 Steve... I mean, Al, 372 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,567 I think I deserve a raise. 373 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,735 You're a hard worker, 374 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,362 and I'd like to give you a raise, 375 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,405 but the alley just ain't doing enough business 376 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,074 to pay that kind of money. 377 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,576 How about if I triple the business? 378 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,536 Then could I get a raise? 379 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,788 Well, yeah, but... 380 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,498 Ah, ah. 381 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,023 Of course. 382 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,984 (gun cocks) 383 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,568 Bowling. Bowling here. 384 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,112 Come bowl now. 385 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,238 Get your bowling. 386 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,407 Who's ready? Bowling. 387 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,993 Mom, make Dad tell the story right. 388 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,285 That's what really happened. 389 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,912 Oh. 390 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,664 HOMER: My marketing plan attracted 391 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,833 a record number of police and fire officials, 392 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,751 but few stayed to bowl. 393 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,336 I failed. 394 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,005 Quitting my dream job 395 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,590 was the hardest thing I've ever done. 396 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,676 You did a great job, Homer, 397 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:51,844 and I'm really gonna miss you. 398 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,595 The place has never been cleaner. 399 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,472 And the way you kept the young people away-- 400 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,224 That was beautiful. 401 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,101 (murmuring in agreement) 402 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,520 Anyway, we all pitched in, and we got you 403 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:02,730 this little going-away thing. 404 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,652 (sniffles) 405 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,155 This was the happiest time of my life. 406 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:15,868 I'll never forget you guys, especially you, Joey. 407 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,327 See you around, Mr. Homer. 408 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,829 Don't worry, Joey. 409 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,165 We'll make it to California someday. 410 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,708 Sure we will, Mr. Homer. 411 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:23,709 Sure we will. 412 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,045 (coughs) 413 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,588 It's going to be sad around here 414 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,339 without you, Homer. 415 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,591 (all murmuring) 416 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,554 MAN: Boy, this is depressing. 417 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,347 MAN 2: Hey, I know what would cheer us up-- Bowling. 418 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,099 -(shouts of agreement) -(pins clattering) 419 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,894 (balls rolling and pins crashing) 420 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,520 MAN 3: Look at this. I got a ball here. 421 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,064 MAN #4: I'm cheered up. 422 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,399 MAN #5: Hey, this is fun. 423 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,652 HOMER: I needed more money to support my growing family, 424 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,529 and there was only one place in town 425 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,823 that a man like me could make it. 426 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,883 Uh-oh. Acid rain again. 427 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,971 (groans) 428 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,693 Yes? Are you a new applicant? 429 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,822 Actually, I quit, and I came to get my job back. 430 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:35,906 Through there. 431 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,331 (coughing) 432 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,501 So, come crawling back, eh? 433 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,211 Seems like the classy thing to do 434 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,588 would be not to call attention to it. 435 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,299 Thanks for giving me my old job back. 436 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,844 I'm afraid it's not that simple. 437 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,846 As punishment for your desertion, 438 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:02,141 it's company policy to give you the plague. 439 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,059 Uh, sir, that's the "plaque." 440 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,938 Ah, yes, the special demotivational plaque 441 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,983 to break what's left of your spirit. 442 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,528 Because, you see, you're here forever. 443 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,783 (reads plaque) 444 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,204 Oh... 445 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,168 I've never been so miserable in all my life, 446 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,212 but I can't take it out on Marge and the kids. 447 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,465 I've got to carry the burden all by myself. 448 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,177 Hi, Honey. How are you? 449 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,553 Well, actually... 450 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,930 Oh, I can't go on with this charade any longer. 451 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,724 I hate my job. I hate my life. 452 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,309 And ever since I found out about this baby, 453 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,602 there's been nothing but bad luck. 454 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,104 My contractions started an hour ago. 455 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,065 It's just in one ear and out the other with you, isn't it Marge? 456 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,819 This is incredible. 457 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,946 It's God's most wondrous miracle. 458 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,574 Sir, I think your wife wants to hold the baby. 459 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,868 My wife? Where? Where? 460 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,623 Congratulations. It's a boy. 461 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,376 Arr! You're truly the catch of the day. 462 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,463 It's wonderful. It's magical. 463 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:18,258 Oh, boy, here it comes-- Another mouth. 464 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,053 One more push should do it. 465 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,638 Marvelous. 466 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,724 (baby crying) 467 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:28,143 Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. 468 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,062 You have a beautiful, healthy baby. 469 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,189 Okay. 470 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,193 Huh? 471 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,071 Homey, I think someone is saying hello. 472 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,364 Hello. 473 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,324 Aw... 474 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,911 It's a boy, and what a boy! 475 00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,996 Uh... That's the umbilical cord. 476 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,790 It's a girl. 477 00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,750 A girl. 478 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:55,087 Oh, Marge, we have a wonderful baby girl. 479 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,838 Not just a girl-- 480 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,676 The most beautiful baby girl in the whole world. 481 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,761 (sighs) 482 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:05,305 Come on, Marge, show a little enthusiasm. 483 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,482 So you loved her right from the start. 484 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,484 (giggles) 485 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:18,902 Absolutely. 486 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,153 Then why no pictures? 487 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,406 Oh, there are pictures. 488 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,659 I keep them where I need the most cheering up. 489 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,843 ♪♪ 490 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:27,512 Shh! 491 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,518 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.