1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,130
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
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(bell ringing)

3
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(whistle blowing)

4
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(beeping)

5
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(jazzy solo)

6
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(tires screeching)

7
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D'oh!

8
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-Aah!
-(tires screeching)

9
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Oh! How can they
imprison kids in school

10
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on a beautiful day like this?

11
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They're not imprisoning
us, Bart, they're--

12
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Prison bus, Otto?

13
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The regular school bus
broke down.

14
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So take a seat before
I blow your heads off!

15
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-Otto!
-Oh, sorry.

16
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This bus and I have sort of
a Shining thing going on.

17
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(blues harmonica)

18
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(sighs deeply)

19
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Ahh--

20
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(sighs)
This is what being a kid is all about.

21
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Hey, Huck,
what's L-I-N-C-O-N doing here?

22
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I don't know.
It's your fantasy.

23
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-Hi, Abe.
-Hello, Bart.

24
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(all groaning)
Ow! Ow!

25
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Well, children, our new ultra-hard
posturific chairs have arrived.

26
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They've been designed
by eminent posturologists

27
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to eliminate slouching
by the year 3000.

28
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Mrs. Krabappel--
(groans)

29
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I'm having back spasms!

30
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(chuckles) I know they seem a little
uncomfortable right now.

31
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But eventually your bones
will change shape.

32
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(slurred) I've lost all feeling
in the left side of my body.

33
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Yeah. Yeah.

34
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Now, unfortunately
our school clocks

35
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have been running fast
all semester,

36
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so today we all have
to stay two extra hours

37
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to make up
for the time we lost.

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-Ha!
-(groaning)

39
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(sighs)

40
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(chittering)

41
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(engine revving)

42
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And to think I got all this after
dropping out of the fourth grade.

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-(laughs)
-(tires screech)

44
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That does it. I'm outta here.

45
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Mrs. Krabappel,
I have to go to the dentist.

46
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I have a caraway seed
caught under my bridgework.

47
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My mom's number's there
if you wanna check up on me.

48
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That's okay, Bart.
I trust you.

49
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"Please excuse
my handwriting.

50
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,363
"I busted whichever
hand it is I write with.

51
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Signed, Mrs. Simpson."

52
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You were right
to be suspicious, Edna.

53
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To the crime lab.

54
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Hmm. Inconclusive.
(scoffs)

55
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I wish more students had agreed to
these electronic tracking implants.

56
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We only had one volunteer.

57
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(beeping)

58
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Spill it!
Where's your brother?

59
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,138
You'd better answer him, Lisa.
He's a bad man.

60
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(giggling)

61
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What are you laughing about?

62
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You started off
as the bad cop.

63
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And now you're the good one.

64
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You and Willie got mixed-up
about 10 minutes ago.

65
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:52,815
We did not!
Now, where's Bart?

66
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You better tell me!

67
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Oh! You better
tell him, Lassie.

68
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I cannot control him
when he gets like this.

69
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(giggles)
Now you're the good cop.

70
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What?

71
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,118
(sighs)

72
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The joys of
mortgaging your future.

73
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(splashing)

74
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,706
Huh?

75
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,753
(gasps)
My fantasy's come true!

76
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Hey, kid.
You wanna see a dead body?

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(screams)

78
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If I were a truant boy
out for a good time,

79
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I'd be right here--

80
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The Springfield Natural
History Museum.

81
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(chuckling)
You're mine, Simpson.

82
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Look, if I was under 17,
I'd be in school, right?

83
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Yeah, I guess you're right.
Enjoy "Boob-a-rama", sir.

84
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Why, there are no children here
at the 4-H club either.

85
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Am I so
out of touch?

86
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No. It's the children
who are wrong.

87
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-(gavel raps)
-Sold to the small man

88
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with the runny nose
for 2.3 million.

89
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-(snickers)
-(clears throat)

90
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Our next highest bid, uh,

91
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I believe was yours, sir,
for 2.1 million.

92
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(laughs)

93
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-(doors slam)
-Yes.

94
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Were there any serious bids
for this painting?

95
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(all murmuring)

96
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-(gasps)
-(gasps)

97
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,525
Can't let Dad
see me playing hooky!

98
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,277
I can't let the boy
see me skippin' work.

99
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,365
-Good afternoon.
-How do you do, sir?

100
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(both snicker)

101
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BOTH: Sucker!

102
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(gasps)
A spoor! Hmm--

103
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His brand of gum,
Doublemint.

104
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,754
Trying to double
your fun, eh, Bart?

105
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Well, I'll double
your detention.

106
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(chuckles)

107
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I wish someone
was around to hear that.

108
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And so we enter endgame.

109
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<i>Ay, caramba!</i>

110
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(panting)

111
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(evil laugh)

112
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Let's see him track me now.

113
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Oh, my God! He is like
some sort of...

114
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non-giving up...

115
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school guy.

116
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(grunting)

117
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(grunting)

118
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(whimpers)

119
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Oh, he's close.

120
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I can taste his fear.

121
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What the--

122
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(laughs)

123
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Freddy, honey. I think something
just dropped into the backseat.

124
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I'm not paying you
to talk.

125
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Gimme the ball!

126
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People, the punch has been spiked.
(laughs)

127
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(laughs)
That's my nephew,

128
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displaying the Quimby wit
that's won the public's heart.

129
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Happy birthday, Freddy.

130
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And may all your disgraces
be, uh, private.

131
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-Yes.
-ALL: Hear! Hear!

132
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,607
(grunts)

133
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,525
And who are you,
little boy?

134
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,652
I'm one of your nephews
you don't see very often,

135
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,945
uh, Bart-Bart.

136
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:14,327
Hey, McBain, I'm a big fan,
but your last movie really sucked.

137
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:18,915
I know. There were
script problems from day one.

138
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Yeah, I'll say.
Magic ticket my ass, McBain.

139
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Maria, my mighty heart
is breaking.

140
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I'll be in the Humvee.

141
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,467
(chattering)

142
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,636
Hey, what the hell is this?

143
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,596
It is a bowl
of "Shao-dair," Sir.

144
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,597
Wait a minute.
Come here.

145
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,015
What did you call it?

146
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,558
Say it loud enough
so everyone can hear.

147
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,602
Come on. Say it.

148
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,687
(clears throat)
"Show-dair."

149
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,189
(laughing)

150
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,735
"Shao-dair"?
"Shao-dair"?

151
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,570
It's "Chowdah."
Say it right!

152
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,658
-"Shah-der."
-(laughs)

153
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,704
Come back here! I'm not
through demeaning you!

154
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,962
Wow! This is the biggest
Rice Krispie square I've ever seen.

155
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,634
Boy, the rich sure
know how to live.

156
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,804
-Say it, Frenchy. Say "Chowdah!"
-Never!

157
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,849
FREDDY: Okay, you asked for it.
I'm gonna enjoy this.

158
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,395
(pots banging,
glass shattering)

159
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-(snapping)
-WAITER: Ow, ooh. Ow, ooh. Ow, ooh.

160
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,650
Whoa!

161
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,654
(gasps)
Oy! That's gotta hurt!

162
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,116
Oh, my God!

163
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,869
Someone's taken a bite
out of the big Rice Krispie square!

164
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,663
Oh, yeah, and the waiter's
been brutally beaten.

165
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,872
(laughs)

166
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,459
(groans)

167
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,879
It says Freddy Quimby beat
a waiter half to death.

168
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:52,550
Hmm. Those Quimby children
are so wild and rich.

169
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,594
I hope he finally gets
what's coming to him.

170
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,304
But Freddy Quimby's innocent!

171
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,598
How do you know?
There weren't any witnesses.

172
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,475
(chuckles)
Oh, yeah. Right.

173
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,060
You'd think someone
would've seen something

174
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,770
at a crowded party
like that.

175
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,731
Well, they didn't, okay?
They didn't!

176
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,233
It says so right here
in black-and-white, "No witnesses."

177
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,403
Case closed.
Now, let's all read the funnies.

178
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,697
Oh, look, Charlie Brown
said, "Good grief."

179
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,658
(chuckles)
I didn't see that comin'.

180
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,246
Lisa, I gotta tell somebody.

181
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,206
I was at the Quimby
compound yesterday

182
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,625
when that frog waiter
got whacked.

183
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,877
I know that Freddy Quimby
is innocent.

184
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,587
You're a witness?

185
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:30,963
Bart, you have to
tell the police.

186
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,924
-(sighs) I can't.
-Why?

187
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,887
Bart Simpson, I know you
cut school yesterday.

188
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,222
And as soon as I can prove it,
I'm shipping you off

189
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,100
to the Christian
military reform school.

190
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,102
What he said.

191
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,771
Oh, I see.

192
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,690
If you testify, Skinner
will know you skipped school.

193
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,068
Well, if Freddy Quimby
didn't do it,

194
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,863
I'm sure he'll be found innocent
by a fair and impartial jury.

195
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,074
Oh, jury duty!

196
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,909
I'll see that Quimby kid
hang for this!

197
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,577
(groans)

198
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,954
I knew it was a bad idea
to watch him open the mail.

199
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:07,541
Let's go over to the county
courthouse live to Kent Brockman.

200
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,295
--ockman, just outside the county
courtroom where an argument about chowder

201
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,632
has spilled over into the biggest trial
in Springfield history.

202
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,385
Behind these doors,
a federal judge

203
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:18,636
will ladle out
steaming bowls

204
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,554
of rich, creamy justice

205
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,139
in a case the media
have dubbed

206
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,266
"Beat-up waiter."
(scoffs)

207
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,310
This reporter
suggested "Waitergate,"

208
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,479
but was shouted down
at the press club.

209
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,190
Now, it's illegal to televise
court proceedings in this state,

210
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,608
(whispering)
so we'll have to be quiet.

211
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,651
Oh!

212
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,158
SKINNER: <i>I know you can</i>
<i>read my thoughts, Bart.</i>

213
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,995
<i>Just a little reminder--</i>
<i>If I find out you cut class,</i>

214
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,289
<i>your ass is mine.</i>

215
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,250
<i>Yes, you heard me.</i>

216
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:52,503
<i>I think words</i>
<i>I would never say.</i>

217
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:56,340
HOMER: <i>I know you can</i>
<i>read my thoughts, boy.</i>

218
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,342
<i>♪ Meow meow meow meow</i>
<i>meow meow meow meow ♪</i>

219
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,052
<i>♪ Meow meow meow meow</i>
<i>meow meow meow meow ♪</i>

220
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:07,017
I intend to prove that
Freddy Quimby is totally innocent.

221
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:11,147
First of all, his accuser
is a very shady character.

222
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,984
That waiter, Mr. Lacoste,
not only wasn't born in Springfield,

223
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,863
he wasn't even born
in this country!

224
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:22,116
(gasping, murmuring)

225
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:23,492
It's an exclusive!

226
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,578
From now on,
you tell me everything.

227
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:29,957
Uh, Freddy Quimby was with me
the entire night in question.

228
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,461
We were collecting canned goods
for the starving people in,

229
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,838
uh, you know,
one of them loser countries.

230
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,715
-Well, that clears Quimby.
-He's clearly innocent.

231
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,677
Oh, good.
My laundry is done.

232
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,013
You see, Lisa?
They don't need my testimony.

233
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,099
Only because Mayor Quimby
is buying his nephew's freedom.

234
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,518
(sighs)
The system works.

235
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,228
Just ask Claus von Bulow.

236
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,814
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going
to prove to you not only

237
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,733
that Freddy Quimby is guilty,

238
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,028
but that he is also innocent
of not being guilty.

239
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:02,239
I refer you to my
expert witness, Dr. Hibbert.

240
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,617
Well, only one in
two million people has

241
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,244
what we call
the "evil gene."

242
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,289
Hitler had it.
Walt Disney had it.

243
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,501
And Freddy Quimby has it.
(chuckles)

244
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:17,046
Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.
I rest my case.

245
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,048
You rest your case?

246
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,467
What? Oh, no. I thought that
was just a figure of speech.

247
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,844
Case closed.

248
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,013
Excuse me, your honor.

249
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,933
Yes, I'd like to bring something
to the court's attention.

250
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,893
(snoring)

251
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,481
Huh? What?

252
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,274
Give those glasses
to the bailiff.

253
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,901
All right.

254
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,988
-And those.
-Oh!

255
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,116
Your Honor, even though
I've proven my client's innocence,

256
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,286
I'd still like to call
Freddy Quimby to the stand

257
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,873
so that we can all
bask in his gentle decency.

258
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,251
He's wealthy,
therefore, inherently good.

259
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,044
WOMAN: He has
innocent-looking hair.

260
00:13:57,127 --> 00:14:00,589
Mr. Quimby, did you
assault Mr. Lacoste?

261
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,760
Of course not. I love each and every
living thing on God's green earth.

262
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,930
Well, therefore, you certainly would
never lose your temper

263
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:11,392
over something as trivial
as the pronunciation of "chowder."

264
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,978
That's "chowdah!"
"Chowdah!" I'll kill you!

265
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,729
I'll kill all of you!

266
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,439
Especially those of you
in the jury!

267
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,358
-(gasps, murmuring)
-He's clearly guilty.

268
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:22,278
Wow, that didn't go well.
The defense rests.

269
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,155
Will the jury retire
and come to its decision?

270
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,991
(chuckles)
This won't take long.

271
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,284
He's clearly guilty.

272
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,995
We'll probably be home
by dinnertime.

273
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:34,665
Good. Tonight, the dog from <i>Frasier</i>
is gonna ride the dolphin on <i>Seaquest.</i>

274
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,501
Well, Bart,
because of you,

275
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,629
a horrible yet innocent
person is going to jail.

276
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,799
Hmm. Maybe I should
come forward.

277
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,303
Oh, I can't wait till the sentencing part.
That's where I really shine.

278
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,725
Bart Simpson,
for the heinous crime of hooky,

279
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:56,854
I sentence you to a lifetime
of hard labor in the cafeteria.

280
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,983
(raspy voice)
More creamed corn, Jimbo Jr.?

281
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:04,236
This creamed corn tastes
like creamed crap.

282
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,196
Watch the potty mouth, honey.

283
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,951
(sighs)

284
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,245
Your sister says you have
something to tell me.

285
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,164
What? Uh--

286
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,541
Um, yeah. Oh, I just--

287
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,335
I just wanted to say
how great it is

288
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,587
to finally see some
chicks on the bench.

289
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,672
-Mm.
-Keep up the good work, toots.

290
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,883
(laughs)

291
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,092
(door closes)

292
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,677
(groans)

293
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,221
(chuckles)
Chicks on the bench.

294
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,348
(nervous chuckle)

295
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,149
Why bother votin'?
He's guilty.

296
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,901
Well, we might as well
make it official.

297
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,653
What does "sequestered" mean?

298
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,821
If the jury is deadlocked,
they're put up in a hotel together

299
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,782
so they can't communicate
with the outside world.

300
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,158
What does "deadlocked" mean?

301
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,202
It's when the jury
can't agree on a verdict.

302
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,163
-Uh-huh. And "if"?
-A conjunction meaning

303
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,165
"in the event that"
Or "on condition that."

304
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,211
So if we don't all
vote the same way,

305
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,047
we'll be deadlocked

306
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,967
and have to be
sequestered

307
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,760
in the Springfield
Palace hotel.

308
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,762
That's not
gonna happen, Homer.

309
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,973
Let's vote.
My liver is failing.

310
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,432
Where we'll get:

311
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,559
A free room, free food,
free swimming pool,

312
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,603
free HBO--
Ooh! "Free Willy"!

313
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,605
Justice is not
a frivolous thing, Simpson.

314
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,191
It has little, if anything,
to do with a disobedient whale.

315
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,526
Now let's vote.

316
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:26,902
Uh, how are
the rest of you voting?

317
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,488
-Guilty.
-Okay, fine.

318
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,408
-How many s's in "innocent"?
-(groaning)

319
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,868
I'm only doing
what I think is right.

320
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:39,164
I believe Freddy Quimby should
walk out of here a free hotel.

321
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,504
Oh, I miss you too, Marge.

322
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:50,300
But the law needs me.
I'll be home as soon as I can.

323
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,386
Room service, send up
two more pot roasts

324
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,055
and three more pillows
with mints on 'em.

325
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,059
You know,
(chuckles)

326
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,145
We're kind of like
the original odd couple.

327
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,938
You're the messy one,
and I'm--

328
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,064
Shut up!

329
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,816
Oh, yes.
Very well.

330
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,110
-(Itchy and Scratchy theme)
-So, Bart,

331
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,946
have your insides been
gnawed away by guilt yet?

332
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,740
Sell it to hallmark, sis.

333
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,700
You're looking
at cucumber boy.

334
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,243
As in, "Cool as a."

335
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,120
<i>ANNOUNCER:</i>
<i>Next on "McGarnigal"--</i>

336
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,748
<i>McGarnigal is framed for</i>
<i>a crime he didn't commit.</i>

337
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,333
<i>And only one witness</i>
<i>can clear his name,</i>

338
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:27,129
<i>a little sissy boy who's too</i>
<i>scared to come forward.</i>

339
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,214
<i>You gotta tell 'em</i>
<i>what you saw, Billy.</i>

340
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,051
<i>But I'm so scared,</i>
<i>McGarnigal.</i>

341
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,512
<i>You gotta do this one for me, Billy.</i>
<i>McGarnigal.</i>

342
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:39,308
<i>Okay. For you,</i>
<i>McGarnigal.</i>

343
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:43,479
<i>Well, McGarnigal,</i>
<i>Billy is dead!</i>

344
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,856
<i>They slit his throat</i>
<i>from ear to ear.</i>

345
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:49,318
<i>Hey, I'm trying</i>
<i>to eat lunch here.</i>

346
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,365
Jump, Free Willy! Jump.

347
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,201
Jump with all your might.

348
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,666
<i>Ahh--</i>

349
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,460
<i>-(screams)</i>
<i>-(splats)</i>

350
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:07,795
WOMAN: <i>Oh, no.</i>
<i>Willy didn't make it!</i>

351
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,755
<i>And he crushed our boy!</i>

352
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,381
MAN: <i>Ugh! What a mess.</i>

353
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,927
Oh! I don't like this
new director's cut.

354
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,805
(straining)

355
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,973
-Got it, Barn?
-Got what?

356
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,767
-(crashes)
-Ow!

357
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,019
-You're stealing a table?
-I'm not stealin' it.

358
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,523
Hotels expect you
to take a few things. It's a souvenir.

359
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,149
Ah. Is that my necktie
you're wearing?

360
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,109
Souvenir.

361
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,610
(humming)

362
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,196
Mom, what if there's
a really bad, crummy guy

363
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,156
who's going to jail,
but I know he's innocent.

364
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,576
Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur
used to have a saying,

365
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,954
"Shoot 'em all,
and let God sort 'em out."

366
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:45,040
Unfortunately, one day he put
his theory into practice.

367
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,251
It took 75 federal marshals
to bring him down.

368
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,378
Now, let's never
speak of him again.

369
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,130
(humming)

370
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,051
Mom? Mom!

371
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,469
-Mom!
-Hmm?

372
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,930
What if I can get
this guy off the hook?

373
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,974
I mean,
sh-should I do it?

374
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:04,726
Honey, you should listen
to your heart

375
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,312
and not
the voices in your head,

376
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,566
like a certain uncle did
one gray December morn.

377
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,359
(humming)

378
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,528
(sighs)

379
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,947
Even though reopening
a trial at this point

380
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:20,409
is illegal and grossly
unconstitutional,

381
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,786
I just can't
say no to kids.

382
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,204
(gavel bangs)

383
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,665
So, young man,

384
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:30,752
if Freddy Quimby didn't inflict
these injuries on Mr. Lacoste,

385
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,755
just who did?

386
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,592
Well, I was hiding in the kitchen
when it all happened.

387
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,386
Say it, Frenchy!
Say "chowdah"!

388
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,847
-Never!
-Okay, you asked for it.

389
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,849
I'm gonna enjoy this.

390
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,018
(grunting)

391
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:47,686
(scoffs)

392
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:49,897
Ooh, ooh!

393
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:50,981
(grunting)

394
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,195
(screams)

395
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,116
(screams)

396
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,202
-(traps snapping)
-Ow, ooh. Ow, ooh. Ow, ooh.

397
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,711
And that's what really happened.

398
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,254
This is an outrage!

399
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,424
I am not a clumsy
Clouseau-esque waiter!

400
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,552
I will--
Whoa! Whoo! Whoo!

401
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,137
(screaming)

402
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,890
Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

403
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,351
At least there
were no big ones.

404
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,102
-(loud snap)
-MAN: <i>Ay.</i>

405
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,896
How could you have
seen all this, Bart?

406
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,564
Weren't you supposed
to be in school?

407
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,691
(inhales)

408
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,861
I... sorta skipped school.

409
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,822
I knew it! I knew you'd slip up
sooner or later, Simpson!

410
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,157
What slipup?
What are you talking about?

411
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,158
He confessed it.

412
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,910
Quiet.
I need this.

413
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,622
This court finds Freddy Quimby
innocent of all charges.

414
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,958
-(gavel slams)
-Case dismissed.

415
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,793
(cheering)

416
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,298
Bart, I'm impressed with
what you did in there.

417
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,008
You testified for
the Quimby boy,

418
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,344
even though it was putting
your own head in a noose.

419
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,596
On the other hand,
you skipped school.

420
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,766
I guess the two things
cancel each other out, huh.

421
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,184
(sighs)

422
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,687
I'm a small man
in some ways, Bart.

423
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,314
A small, petty man.

424
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,524
Three months detention.

425
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:16,483
(groans)

426
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,696
Wait a minute, Bart.

427
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,698
Make that...

428
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,366
four months detention.

429
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,745
HOMER:
Well, Marge, it was horrible.

430
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,164
Everyone was against me
in that jury room.

431
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,500
But I stood by the courage
of my convictions,

432
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:34,960
and I prevailed.

433
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,714
And that's why we had
Chinese food for lunch.

434
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,716
Good for you, Homey.

435
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,759
You know, a lot of things
happened around here

436
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,052
while you were gone.

437
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,930
Great, Marge.
I want to hear all about it.

438
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,307
(chuckles)

439
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,391
MARGE: Give me those!

440
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:50,600
(glasses snap, Homer groans)

441
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,602
-And those.
-(snap, groan)

442
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,271
-And those.
-(snap, groan)

443
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,405
♪♪

444
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:47,407
Shh!

445
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,997
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.