1
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,964
阿森一族

2
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:07,549
（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

3
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,262
（春田小學）

4
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,267
（小朋友不能喝咖啡）

5
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,860
（注意安全）

6
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,695
（《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片）

7
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,840
（營業中）

8
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,106
不！

9
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,541
《春田警界風雲錄》

10
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,794
惡警…

11
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,630
惡警…

12
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,091
惡警…

13
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,260
惡警…

14
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,223
春田惡警辦大事

15
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,059
我們錢賺那麼少，你們奢望什麼？

16
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,937
不管在車上或馬上

17
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,815
執法過當又怎樣

18
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,525
惡警…

19
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,193
《春田警界風雲錄》

20
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,152
惡警…

21
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,614
兄弟們，該逮捕偷牛賊了

22
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,120
你們在搞什麼東東？

23
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,705
這裡不是長青街742號嗎？

24
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,666
隔壁才是

25
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,799
差一點，但沒冬甩了，警察

26
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,843
我是熊爸

27
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,554
發出全面通緝，男性疑犯駕駛一輛…

28
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,098
車子之類的

29
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,100
行駛方向為…

30
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,602
賣辣醬那間店的方向

31
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,272
疑犯沒戴帽子，重覆，沒戴帽

32
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,109
好期待他們把那沒戴帽的屁蟲
關進監獄裡去

33
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,362
老公，你真不該在床上暴吃了

34
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,363
（健怡可樂）

35
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,865
對你的心臟不好

36
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,241
我的心臟好得…

37
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,619
小荷，怎麼了？

38
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,080
只是努力想吞下那口火雞肉

39
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:46,958
吞下去了

40
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,548
麗莎，昨晚發生嚴重火車事故

41
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,425
-想看受害者慘狀嗎？
-好啊

42
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,595
巴特，好噁心

43
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,722
你對，埋進海裡去吧

44
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,349
爸

45
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,353
怎麼了？

46
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,022
你們知道有種感覺像…

47
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,400
千把火刀同時刺進你心臟那樣？

48
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,903
像我現在這樣

49
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,738
煙肉

50
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,491
荷馬，我特地為你準備了特別驚喜

51
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,660
只有一種可能

52
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,956
最優質的肉肉在屁股喔

53
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,542
享用吧

54
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:30,668
這是什麼鬼？

55
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,503
好好吃健康燕麥

56
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,840
燕麥，好美妙的好東西

57
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,218
裡面有隻蟲

58
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,970
-並沒有
-相信我

59
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,976
爸，那上面有隻蟲

60
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,693
（埃德加愛倫坡誕生處）

61
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,195
快啊…

62
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,031
（注意，車闊）

63
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,162
天呀

64
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,873
看你做的好事

65
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,382
（加油站，服務區）

66
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,343
我一直聽見不規律的可怕砰砰聲

67
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,220
（加索）

68
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,556
是你的心臟喔，它可能快不行了

69
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,017
我還怕是變速箱有狀況呢

70
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,478
嘿，他要去哪？

71
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:34,065
比利，記得我們老是修不好的
老普利茅斯嗎？

72
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,151
要賣給尼卡波波洛斯先生那輛？

73
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,237
你好無聊，比利

74
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,155
（冬甩）

75
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,826
看那頭豬在為我賣命的上班時間
塞得滿嘴滿臉冬甩

76
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,496
很好，繼續吃

77
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:52,458
你渾然不知快吃到有毒冬甩

78
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,254
裡面有個冬甩有毒吧，史密瑟斯？

79
00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,008
沒耶，我跟律師討論過
他們認為那是謀殺

80
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,801
烏龜王八蛋

81
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,431
把他帶來見我

82
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,186
輕鬆點，辛普森

83
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,939
我只是讓你來友善地說聲哈囉

84
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,819
跟再見，你被炒了

85
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,448
但等等，也許我太心急了

86
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,325
你技術優越

87
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,869
又愛鬼混

88
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,413
不要擔心，荷馬

89
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,790
你這種人是我很喜歡…

90
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,376
活埋的人

91
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,629
你的惰性無藥可救

92
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,258
那表示你很渣

93
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,394
伯恩斯先生，他好像死了

94
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,271
天呀

95
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,315
送條火腿去給他未亡人

96
00:05:58,941 --> 00:05:59,984
火腿

97
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,696
不，等等，他還活著

98
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,616
-很好，別送火腿了
-不

99
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,871
（小心野鹿飛越）

100
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,164
哇，你看看

101
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,208
他們怎知在那過馬路啊？

102
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:17,835
（急診）

103
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,003
（急診室）
（創傷室）

104
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,296
（請勿吸煙）

105
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,009
我跟你們說沒用的

106
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:27,762
看吧

107
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,223
他本來想大咬一口，下巴就脫臼了

108
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,683
看好，可放進整個拳頭耶

109
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,311
嘿…

110
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,437
你說什麼，局長？

111
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,940
惡警…

112
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,026
惡警…

113
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,240
布力斯特先生買三送一耶

114
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,282
喂？

115
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,575
是的

116
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,494
我的天呀

117
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,831
荷馬被送醫，他們認為是心臟問題

118
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,334
-OMG
-什麼？

119
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,087
蠟紙折價五分錢耶

120
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,464
離手

121
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,219
再電

122
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:10,972
感恩

123
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,308
小荷，我嚇壞了

124
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,270
美枝，我一生剛如走馬燈閃過

125
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,440
小荷馬

126
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,111
他怎麼拿到那個的？

127
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,367
跪下雙膝

128
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:36,747
聆聽天使之聲

129
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,999
好美的天籟

130
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,335
小荷馬會讓我成為百萬富翁

131
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:46,507
喔，聖善夜

132
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,676
嘿，我剛變聲了

133
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,389
喔，聖善夜，當基督誕生

134
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,599
可惡

135
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,811
辛普森先生
你可能有輕微心臟病發

136
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,855
但我現在脫離險境了吧

137
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,816
我是說要不了我的命
就會讓我更強健吧

138
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,610
錯，剛好相反

139
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,612
讓你弱得像小貓咪

140
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:09,614
你看

141
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,824
嘿，別這樣啦…

142
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,744
拜託停手…

143
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,954
你揮拳無力像個姑娘，拜託

144
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,831
拜託放過我吧

145
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:19,832
弄到鼻子了

146
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,709
不好笑

147
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,044
這隻小蜜蜂如何？

148
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,424
記住你的希波克拉底誓言

149
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,761
你不能為他做點什麼嗎？

150
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,888
我們修不好他的心臟

151
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,849
但可告訴你們他心臟壞得多嚴重

152
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,809
我們活在最好的年代

153
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,980
現在看到的是我們打進去的
放射性染劑

154
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,358
流穿你先生的循環系統

155
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,944
但醫生，我還沒注射染劑

156
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,320
老天爺

157
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,530
嗨

158
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,533
荷馬，這是最新體脂分析測試

159
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,994
我會讓你開始抖
測量抖多久才停下來

160
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,293
你看看脂肪震得厲害

161
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,586
是啊

162
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,673
護士，取消一點鐘預約

163
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,010
荷馬，恐怕你得接受…
冠狀動脈繞道手術

164
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,637
用白話文說，醫生

165
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,847
你需要做開心手術

166
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,891
少跟我拋醫學術語喔

167
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,103
我們要切開你，修好你的心臟

168
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,646
能不能再講清楚一點？

169
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,566
醫生，只要讓我的小荷好起來
我們什麼都願意做

170
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,151
很好，但我要事先警告

171
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,197
這療法最多會花到三萬元

172
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,951
(春田市綜合醫院)

173
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,869
現在要花到四萬了喔

174
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,004
好…我們需要四萬元

175
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,839
我們支票帳戶裡有多少錢？

176
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549
17元

177
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,803
我們還有任何四萬元支票
還沒兌現的嗎？

178
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,431
沒有，你公司沒醫療保險嗎？

179
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,726
我們把保費
都拿去買員工休息室的角子機台了

180
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,769
-不
-別擔心，美枝

181
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,440
美國醫療保險制度僅次於日本…

182
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,443
加拿大，瑞典，大英帝…

183
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:11,652
全歐洲

184
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,114
但算你走運，我們沒住在巴拉圭

185
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:22,872
（快樂寡婦保險公司）

186
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,502
在我們給你保醫療險前
我得問你一些問題

187
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,087
問題？…

188
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,008
我的陰謀快…你問好了

189
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,092
很好

190
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,971
在“心臟病發作“這欄
你勾了“三次“，又寫“零次“

191
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,516
我以為那是在問腦出血啦

192
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,436
你喝酒嗎？

193
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,813
聖誕節喜歡小酌一下

194
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,857
好，這是你的要保單

195
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:53,152
我跟你說，真好騙先生，我剛…

196
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,321
等等，你還得簽名才算數

197
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,365
喔，我…

198
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,243
一定要簽保單

199
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,371
先生，抱歉，我們不能給你保

200
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,455
我寫好“荷“了

201
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,582
-不行，不算
-看起來像叉叉

202
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,835
我們最好把你送醫

203
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,588
-送我月曆好嗎？
-好

204
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,714
離手

205
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,092
醫生

206
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,471
我去了個美好的地方
那裡滿是火焰和硫璜

207
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,057
還有好多身穿紅睡衣的人

208
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,725
把草叉插我屁股

209
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895
辛普森先生，你必須盡快開刀

210
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,271
我開不起

211
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,857
也許我該買部那種機器

212
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,194
喔，耶，好舒服

213
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,239
我知道我一直不是最佳基督徒

214
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,866
其實你在台上…

215
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,368
我經常睡死了

216
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,704
或幻想把女教友脫光光

217
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,748
總之，可給我四萬元嗎？

218
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:48,874
（蘭教牧師）

219
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,168
我知道我一直不是最佳猶太人

220
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,213
但我租了《屋頂上的提琴手》
我會看的

221
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,424
總之，能給我四萬元嗎？

222
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,093
我知道我一直不是最佳…

223
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:01,512
算了

224
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,515
老公，運氣如何？

225
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,517
欠佳，但拉比送我這個

226
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,601
那是什麼，爸爸？

227
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,729
兒子，他們叫它“組多“

228
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,022
看它轉得

229
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,899
嗨，大家好

230
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:18,571
你在想辦法大減醫療費嗎？

231
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:19,655
無聊

232
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,158
等等，這可能是我們的解答

233
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:27,079
只要129.95，我什麼手術都做

234
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:32,042
來開腦的，我還送中國指套

235
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,045
夠了，佛萊德

236
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,090
你盡力了，再另尋其他方法

237
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,302
快打1-600-DOCTORB

238
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,554
來找平價庸醫就對了

239
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,932
美枝，來個下下策吧

240
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,933
怎樣做？

241
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,853
有些狗會開刀的

242
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,314
開刀，你們在說什麼？

243
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,316
孩子們，有話跟你們說

244
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,360
小荷，不好吧，他們會難過

245
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,070
你們說什麼，我們都不會難過的

246
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,614
我們是MTV世代

247
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,532
情緒沒什麼高低起伏

248
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,742
真假？那是什麼感覺？

249
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,162
你們大到可得知真相了

250
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,872
我不會粉飾太平的

251
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,959
所以小小主動脈仙子
要帶著腿靜脈先生…

252
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:18,088
長途跋涉去迎娶左心室公主

253
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,548
爸，你是在跟我們說

254
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,134
你要動冠狀動脈繞道手術嗎？

255
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,552
對

256
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,430
糟了，萬一他們失敗了呢？

257
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,098
我就沒爸爸…

258
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:29,850
一陣子了

259
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,815
孩子們…我沒要死掉

260
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,983
只要壞人才會死掉

261
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,401
那林肯總統呢？

262
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,071
他曾賣毒牛奶給學童

263
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,364
-荷馬
-嘿，我只是想…

264
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,490
讓他們好過一點嘛

265
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,076
床升起來，床降下去

266
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,911
床升起來，床降下去

267
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,871
床升起來，床降下去

268
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,623
床升起來，床降下去

269
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,791
荷馬辛普森？

270
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,294
真是乖乖龍地冬啊

271
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,839
佛蘭德斯，你在這幹嘛？

272
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,132
我來摘除一個腎和一片肺的

273
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,801
你要捐給誰？

274
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,220
先到先贏囉，你來做什麼的？

275
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,805
我心臟不好

276
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307
若我能捐心給你，荷馬，我會的

277
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,475
閉嘴，佛蘭德斯

278
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,812
嗨，大家好

279
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,981
我是尼克里維拉醫生

280
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,818
里維拉醫生，尼克里維拉醫生
請立刻向驗屍官報到

281
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,737
驗屍官？我恨透那傢伙了

282
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,782
開刀的地方見了

283
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,701
里維拉醫生…

284
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,743
大體在哪裡？

285
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,579
美好的一天啊

286
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,330
我還是跳窗好了

287
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,924
親愛的上帝，感謝你的《奇吉》漫畫

288
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,551
小鴨寶寶

289
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,471
跟《老年健身操》錄影帶
第一，二，四集

290
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,350
親愛的上帝

291
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,186
明天要開刀，我真的好怕

292
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,398
要是有狀況，請你保佑美枝

293
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,567
保佑我的孩子們好好長大

294
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,195
（請勿禱告）

295
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:06,614
抱歉

296
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,914
所以上帝才會造成火車事故

297
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,459
我爸病重

298
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,419
他死後會怎樣？

299
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,505
他是好人，就會上天堂

300
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:27,885
你在天堂可做任何你最愛做的事

301
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,138
雲升起來，雲降下去

302
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307
雲升起來，雲降下去

303
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,476
床升起來，床降下去

304
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,685
嘿…

305
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,481
嘿，怎麼回事？

306
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,650
喔，對了

307
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,318
我的怪模怪樣

308
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,363
庫斯提，你來幹嘛？

309
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,406
這是我的公共服務之一

310
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,118
因為我…

311
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,996
好吧，我很需要笑一笑

312
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,832
你將經歷的一切沒什麼好笑的

313
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,877
我懂，因為我也是拉鍊俱樂部會員

314
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,216
-你氣色不錯啊
-是喔？

315
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,886
跟你說一下，這可不是化妝

316
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:16,225
人說最悲慘的是白頭人送黑頭人

317
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,478
我從來都不懂原因何在

318
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,022
坦白說，我看得出有個好處

319
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150
這是大家傳著寫的卡片

320
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,276
（早日康復，荷馬）

321
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,778
哇，謝謝，兄弟們

322
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,071
（緊急作業程序，請勿撕除）

323
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,864
他們找你的代班者找得好苦

324
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,369
我剛聽說你要動手術時

325
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,954
我好反對

326
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,539
但後來我想到…

327
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,875
若荷馬想變成女人，就變吧

328
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,211
巴尼，我沒要變性

329
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,379
什麼？

330
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:49,883
這套加大碼比堅尼怎麼辦？

331
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,387
荷馬，看著老交情份上
我偷偷夾帶啤酒來給你了

332
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,930
謝謝，老莫

333
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,726
荷馬，啤酒是要錢的喔

334
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,270
（春田心臟學日誌）

335
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,980
媽，這真好看

336
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:06,358
你知道他們要讓爸的心臟
停止跳動整整六分鐘嗎？

337
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,487
我不太贊成你看那麼多心臟學的書耶

338
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,949
放心，媽，我看了很安心
我還學到了好多呢

339
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,118
肉品店買來的牛心讓我獲益良多

340
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,205
（醫學圖書館）

341
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,165
插入牽引器

342
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,501
用力撐開肋骨
像撐開生鏽吊橋那樣

343
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,086
不要

344
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,212
血啊

345
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,799
接下來在冠狀動脈切個切口

346
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:35,054
歡迎繼續觀賞《好像什麼的人》

347
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,440
不…有人錄這節目，蓋掉最後一段了

348
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,860
我們只希望能獲得尊重

349
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,695
像根新蠟燭那樣嗎？

350
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,530
對，像根新…不對

351
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,493
我的小瑪姬

352
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,703
我可能再也抱不到你了

353
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,164
臭尿片

354
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,707
美枝

355
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,418
如果發生意外，妳會孤單寂寞

356
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,670
小荷，我絕不會再婚

357
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,797
沒錯

358
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,257
為求確認，我想被做成標本
放在梳化上

359
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,802
讓你永遠記住我們的婚誓

360
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,013
孩子們，你們可以進來了

361
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,266
床升起來

362
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,770
孩子們，我要說些話
讓你們可懷念我的

363
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,063
免得出什麼事

364
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,439
我想想

365
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,652
我不太會說

366
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:38,909
巴特，這一切讓我最難過的
是看不到你長大，因為…

367
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:44,540
我知道不管老爸在不在
你都會傑出優秀

368
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,707
謝謝，爸爸

369
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,167
還有，麗莎…

370
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,340
是時候該告訴妳了

371
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,260
妳是領養來的，我不喜歡妳

372
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,553
巴特

373
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,515
但別擔心
因為妳有個好愛妳的哥哥

374
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,100
永遠都會顧好妳

375
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,352
喔，爸爸

376
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,108
嗨，大家好

377
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,651
嗨，尼克醫生

378
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,280
要是出什麼錯

379
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,699
我們就別走法律途徑了

380
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,201
一手洗另一手，大家狼狽為奸

381
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,203
這提醒了我

382
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,668
這雙手套是鮑魚刷的贈品喔

383
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,341
那是什麼鬼？

384
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,307
美枝，他叫安德烈

385
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,474
哈囉

386
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,895
你們倆會是一對佳偶

387
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,230
我老公還活著

388
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,108
謝天謝地，希望他撐過來

389
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,276
我不希望

390
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,071
我們來默禱一分鐘吧

391
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,824
為我們的好朋友荷馬辛普森祈福

392
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:06,622
（必須年滿21歲）

393
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,915
過了多久了？

394
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,082
六秒鐘

395
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667
要重新計時嗎？

396
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,752
才不要

397
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,003
可憐的荷馬先生

398
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,004
（豬皮乾）

399
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,633
會是我的零食害他健康欠佳嗎？

400
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:18,884
來幾包牛肉乾

401
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,260
要配幾瓶伏特加嗎？

402
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,386
管他，好啊

403
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,685
醫生，怎麼了？

404
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,771
你不知道要切哪裡嗎？

405
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,190
好，尼克，不要慌

406
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,359
回想醫學院時光

407
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,989
說真的，寶貝
我想開什麼處方都可以喔

408
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,074
（西格瑪志聯誼會）

409
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,537
我知道應該要切下去
但要切什麼，切哪裡呢？

410
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:49,790
喂

411
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:54,378
冠狀動脈切口必須在堵塞處下方

412
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,213
下方

413
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,173
謝謝了，小妹妹

414
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,468
膝骨連結著…

415
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,136
什麼東東

416
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:06,306
什麼東東連結著紅東東

417
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,643
紅東東連結著我的腕錶

418
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,233
好消息

419
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:20,153
手術大成功

420
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,199
太好了

421
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:31,039
尼克里維拉醫生，記得我嗎？

422
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,543
這不是我的老友麥克瑞格先生嗎？

423
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,754
手接成腳，腳接成手的怪人

424
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,885
好耶，爸爸

425
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,887
你稱霸加護病房耶