1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,755 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,889 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,893 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,797 (tires screech) 8 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,847 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,854 (tires screech) 11 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,856 D'oh! 12 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:07,776 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,029 ♪♪ (big band music plays) 14 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,328 ♪♪ (carnival music plays) 15 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:22,832 (elephants trumpet) 16 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,062 Maggie, can you say "Ba-ba"? 17 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,314 Can you say "Mama"? 18 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:49,234 -Can you say "Get bent"? -Bart! 19 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,069 Mr. Rogers says it all the time. 20 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,322 -He does not. -Maggie, can you say "Daddy"? 21 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,490 Daddy. 22 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:59,536 -Kitty. Kitty. -Be-bop. Be-bop. 23 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,579 Shove-it. Shove-it. 24 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,295 -(burps) -Did you hear that? She said "burlap." 25 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,799 I don't think so. Oh, Maggie, 26 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,467 when are you going to talk? 27 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,469 Well, don't push her. Remember: 28 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,180 "'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool 29 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,225 than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." 30 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,269 What does that mean? 31 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,479 Better say something, or they'll think you're stupid. 32 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,690 -Takes one to know one. -Swish. 33 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,608 According to Fretful Mother Magazine, 34 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,735 if Maggie doesn't talk by age one, 35 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,030 we should consider a corrective tongue extender. 36 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,366 Hey, what was my first word? 37 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,910 Uh, well... 38 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,162 (Marge giggling) 39 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,329 Whoa! 40 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,539 HOMER: Hee hee hee hee. 41 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,748 Yes! 42 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,792 Ay, caramba! 43 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,504 You know, I don't think I remember. 44 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,091 But the story of Lisa's first word is very cute. 45 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,634 BOTH: Tell it, Mom. Tell it, Mom. 46 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,386 Yeah, tell it, Mom. 47 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,140 Well, this story begins in that unforgettable spring of 1983. 48 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,560 Ms. Pacman struck a blow for women's rights. 49 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:08,188 A young Joe Piscopo taught us how to laugh. 50 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,315 Before Lisa was born, 51 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,483 we lived in a tiny apartment 52 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,319 on the lower eastside of Springfield. 53 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,947 (Italian accent) ♪ Chipwich for sale ♪ 54 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,950 ♪ Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin ♪ 55 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,702 ♪ Chipwich for sale ♪ 56 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,205 Youse guys want to play stickball? 57 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,414 Certainly. 58 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,999 -Yeah, sure. -Over here. Come on. 59 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,214 Did you girls watch the last episode of MASH? 60 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,926 (Irish accent) That Mike Farrell really boils my potato. 61 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,553 (Italian accent) I miss-a da Klinger already. 62 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,139 ♪ When the working day is done♪ 63 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,643 ♪ Girls just wanna have fun ♪ 64 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,479 ♪ That's all we really want ♪ 65 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,521 Homer! 66 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,898 (chuckling) 67 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,025 Homer's what grownups call me. 68 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,443 Call me Daddy. 69 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,028 -Homer. -Daddy. 70 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,197 -Homer. -Daddy. 71 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,115 Dad-dad-da... 72 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,700 Yes? 73 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,077 Domer. 74 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,495 (snickering) 75 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,498 Why, you little... 76 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,541 (snoring) 77 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:15,630 Ooh! 78 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,432 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 79 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,061 HOMER: Ah, he'll tire himself out soon. 80 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:33,815 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 81 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,525 Then the prince and the princess... 82 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,235 (yawns) 83 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:40,488 Got married and lived happily ever after. 84 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:41,572 Then what happened? 85 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,157 Uh... 86 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:47,078 they had 30 sons and 30 daughters. 87 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,454 What were their names? 88 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,458 Dennis... Brad... 89 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,336 Mavis... 90 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,672 Brad... 91 00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,841 (snoring) 92 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,264 No, this is true. 93 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,890 The Coast Guard arrested Boy George 94 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,642 for scraping the barnacles off his dinghy. 95 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,520 (guttural laughter) Hi-yo! 96 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:15,148 Hi-yo 97 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,775 (laughing) Got your nose. 98 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,610 Got your wallet. 99 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,070 (toilet flushing) 100 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,488 No! 101 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,199 Bart, don't you ever do that again. 102 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,076 Understand? 103 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,578 -Beep. -(growling) 104 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,496 Guess what, Homie. 105 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,165 There's going to be twice as much love in this house 106 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:33,958 as there is now. 107 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,376 We're gonna start doing it in the morning? 108 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,170 -No. -Oh. 109 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,297 We're going to have another baby. 110 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,798 Marge, that's... 111 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,800 Bye-bye, keys. 112 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,594 -(flushing) -Ohh! 113 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,596 Hear that, Bart? 114 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,098 You're going have a little brother or sister to play with. 115 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,813 Who did this? 116 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,690 Baby. 117 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,193 Bad baby! 118 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,361 (laughing) 119 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,370 (sigh) 120 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,579 Uh-oh! 121 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,959 (milk dripping) 122 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,506 I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place. 123 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:22,840 No, we won't. 124 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,009 I've got it all figured out. 125 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,011 The baby can have Bart's crib. 126 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,347 Bart can sleep with us until he's 21. 127 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,765 Won't that warp him? 128 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,183 My cousin Frank did it. 129 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:33,893 You don't have a cousin Frank. 130 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,728 He became Francine back in '76. 131 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,605 Then he joined that cult. 132 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:40,400 I think his name is Mother Shibubu now. 133 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,943 (groans) 134 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,737 That afternoon, we left Bart with my sisters 135 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,988 and went house hunting. 136 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,951 Hey, Bart, want a dollar? 137 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,161 Uh, uh, uh! 138 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,830 You know what I want to hear. 139 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,250 ♪ I'm a little teapot, short and stout ♪ 140 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,960 ♪ This is my handle ♪ 141 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,837 ♪ This is my spout ♪ 142 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,714 ♪ The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout ♪ 143 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:04,924 Oh, yeah. 144 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,301 Love that spout medley. 145 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,430 Now, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, 146 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,723 the only houses I have in your price range 147 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,308 are in the neighborhood 148 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,686 colorfully referred to as The Rat's Nest. 149 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,397 (gunshots and sirens) 150 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,276 This one just came on the market. 151 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,988 Oh, dear! (nervous laughter) 152 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,490 Now, here we have 153 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,617 beautiful hardwood floors, track lighting... 154 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:32,952 (sniffing) 155 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,912 What's that stench? 156 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,792 Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, 157 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,961 you'll wonder how you ever did without it. 158 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,297 Mmm... hog fat. 159 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,882 Let's keep looking. 160 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,967 (sniffing) 161 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,969 Ooh. Do you smell something? 162 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,639 Argh, why buy a house 163 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,766 when ye can buy a houseboat? 164 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:01,022 Excuse me. (growls) 165 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,109 Don't forget to check out the galley. 166 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,986 That's real shag carpeting. 167 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:10,531 -Argh. -(cats meowing) 168 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,450 Oh, once we get the cats out of the way, 169 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,118 it won't be bad. 170 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,496 Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. 171 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,080 You'd be their tenants. 172 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,000 (hissing) 173 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,377 I wish we lived in the kitty house. 174 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,670 I could have trained them 175 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,255 to be my unholy army of the night. 176 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,759 Go, my pretties. Kill! Kill! 177 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,177 We were about to give up 178 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,138 when we found a house that was perfect. 179 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,683 Just imagine what we can do with this place. 180 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:40,978 Wow. 181 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,563 How much? How much? 182 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,898 Well, here's what they're asking. 183 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,900 I can't afford that. 184 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,195 Dad, I have a problem. 185 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,572 Why did you come to me? 186 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,782 I don't know nothing. 187 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,992 I used to get by on my looks. 188 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,577 Now they're gone, 189 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,163 withered away like an old piece of fruit. 190 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,290 (sobbing) 191 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,001 -Are you done? -No, not yet. 192 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:08,422 I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York. 193 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:09,840 Dad, I don't need advice. 194 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,176 I need $15,000 to buy a home. 195 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,179 Oh, well, all I own is this house 196 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,974 that I built with my own two hands. 197 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,684 You didn't build this house. 198 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,602 You won it in a crooked '50s game show. 199 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,022 I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free. 200 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,065 Ha ha! 201 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,858 All right, son. 202 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:31,195 I'll sell this dump and write you a check. 203 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,656 Dad, first you gave me life. 204 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,242 Now you've given me a home for my family. 205 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,744 I'd be honored if you came to live with us. 206 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,121 Thank you. 207 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,419 How long before you ship Grampa off to the old folks home? 208 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,420 About three weeks. 209 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,046 (laughing) 210 00:09:57,096 --> 00:10:00,600 Maggie, I'll give you this cookie if you talk. 211 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,852 What? What? 212 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,520 D'oh! 213 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,980 All right, you win round seven. 214 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,024 When are we gonna get to my first word? 215 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,860 -Your what what? -My first word! 216 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,486 You don't want to hear that story. 217 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,697 I know. I'll tell you about the time 218 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,699 I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. 219 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,701 It was another one of my harebrained schemes. 220 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,703 -Dad! -Wait a minute. 221 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,581 That was a Lucy Show. Okay, where were we? 222 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,125 Mom was preggers, and Dad just threw our money down this sinkhole. 223 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,295 Ah, yes, I remember the day 224 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,797 we moved in. 225 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,300 (grunting) 226 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,346 Hey, Homer, this house sucks. 227 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,182 Bart, I told you not to use that word. 228 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,516 Call me Daddy. 229 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,560 Homer. Naah... 230 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,729 (grunting) 231 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,315 ♪ We welcome you to the neighborhood ♪ 232 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,566 ♪ Sing fa-la-la-la-la ♪ 233 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,360 ♪ La-la-la la-la-la ♪ 234 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,612 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 235 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,114 ♪ From now on, you'll be history ♪ 236 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,407 -♪ You'll be his... ♪ -♪ You'll be his... ♪ 237 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,909 ♪ You'll be history ♪ 238 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,161 Buenos dias, neighboritos. 239 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,664 The handle's Flanders, but my friends call me Ned. 240 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,082 Hi, Flanders. 241 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,667 Who the hell are you? 242 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,627 My name's Todd. Would you be my friend? 243 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,922 You're funny. (laughing) 244 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,840 If you need anything, just give a whistle. 245 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,550 I could use a TV tray. 246 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,512 -Well, gee... -What? 247 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,263 I just this minute bought it at the hardw-- 248 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,264 You said anything. 249 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,517 Heh. Well, sure. 250 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,394 You can borrow it for a little while. 251 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:30,314 And that little while is now eight years and counting. 252 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,899 (chuckles) 253 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,944 Anyway, Bart had just entered the terrible twos. 254 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,737 ♪ I am so great ♪ 255 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,489 ♪ I am so great ♪ 256 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,409 ♪ Everybody loves me, I am so great... ♪ 257 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,119 Honey... honey... honey... honey... honey... 258 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,204 Could you please be quiet? 259 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,665 ♪ Quiet! Biet! Diet! ♪ 260 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,166 Siet! Fiet! 261 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,711 Bart, get out! 262 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,671 HOMER: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife 263 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,673 and a troubled child, 264 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,926 but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. 265 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:08,269 (screaming) 266 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,861 ♪♪ 267 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,823 (laughing) 268 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,909 Hey, kids... (goofy chuckle) 269 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,163 Summer's just around the corner, and Krusty Burger 270 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,041 is the official meat-flavored sandwich of the 1984 Olympics. 271 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,007 Cootchie-cootchie-coo. 272 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,341 (yells) 273 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,635 -Krusty funny. -Duh. 274 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:45,264 It's all part of our Krusty Burger Olympic sweepstakes. 275 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,766 Just scratch off the name of the Olympic event 276 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,434 on your game card, 277 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,102 and if America wins a gold medal, 278 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,230 you win a free Krusty Burger. 279 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,775 Mm-mm-mmm. 280 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,527 -MAN: And cut. -Blah! 281 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,572 I almost swallowed some of the juice. 282 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,660 I'll be tasting that for weeks. 283 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,705 -Great spot, K.C. -Put a sock in it, preppy. 284 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,291 How much are these free burgers gonna cost me? 285 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,960 Not to worry, Mr. K. We've rigged the cards. 286 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,880 They're all in events that communists never lose. 287 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,548 I like. I like. 288 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,717 This just came over the wires, Big K. 289 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:26,472 Uh-huh. "Soviet Boycott." "U.S. Unopposed in Most Events." 290 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,224 How does this affect our giveaway? 291 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,975 Let's see. 292 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,561 You personally stand to lose $44 million. 293 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,814 (groaning) 294 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,398 Oy! 295 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,150 (groaning) 296 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:44,824 Bart, from now on, the baby sleeps in the crib. 297 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,409 Crib... crib... I'm a baby. 298 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,537 All right, I know how to handle this. 299 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,997 Just use a little reverse psychology. 300 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,791 Let's go, Marge. 301 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:57,628 Leave the baby with his little crib. 302 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,675 D'oh! 303 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,051 (grunting) 304 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,929 (hammering) 305 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:16,272 Ah, Homer J. Simpson, you're a genius. 306 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,692 I know you like clowns, so I made you this bed. 307 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:22,486 Now you can laugh yourself to sleep. 308 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:32,246 GOOFY VOICE: If you should die before you wake... 309 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:33,581 (evil laughter) 310 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,792 Can't sleep. 311 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,127 Clown will eat me. 312 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,420 Can't sleep. 313 00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,922 Clown will eat me. 314 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,383 MALE SPORTSCASTER: Oh, doctor, we are seconds away 315 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,594 from the 100-meter butterfly, and with the East German-- 316 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,763 (chuckling) ...women shaving their backs 317 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,641 9,000 miles away, the Americans are heavy favorites. 318 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,727 (stomach growling) 319 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,312 Patience, my pet. 320 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,980 (gunshot) 321 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,107 And the Americans jump out to an early lead. 322 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:01,901 Help! Help! 323 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,652 FEMALE SPORTSCASTER: Although, we should point out 324 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,571 that many of the other women represent countries 325 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,448 that don't have swimming pools. 326 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,367 MAN: Boo-hoo! You're breaking my heart. 327 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:14,163 Homie, I think the baby's coming. 328 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,541 Wow, a baby and a free burger. 329 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,960 Could this be the best day of my life? 330 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,714 Coming up next, an hour-long episode of Mama's Family. 331 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,299 Yes! 332 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:26,926 We'll take good care of your boy, Simpson. 333 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,928 Enjoy the miracle of creation. 334 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,554 Shut up, Flanders. 335 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,600 So, kids, what do you want to play? 336 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,602 -Good Samaritan! -Good Samaritan! 337 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,233 (gasps) I get to clothe the leper. 338 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,902 Lucky. 339 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,403 Suppertime, boys. 340 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,947 Oh, boy! Liver! 341 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,533 Iron helps us play. 342 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,121 I want to go home. No, I don't. 343 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,666 ♪ I got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪ 344 00:15:58,749 --> 00:15:59,917 ♪ Down in my heart ♪ 345 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,126 Where? 346 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,046 ♪ Down in my heart to stay ♪ 347 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,131 ♪ And if the devil doesn't like it ♪ 348 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,050 ♪ He can sit on a tack ♪ 349 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,593 Ouch! 350 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,719 ♪ Sit on a tack... ♪ Ouch! 351 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,101 Pa, can you help me with my psalms? 352 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,435 Ah! 353 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,230 Oh, Bart, you met Grandma Flanders. 354 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,315 Hope she didn't scare you. 355 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,025 Hello, Joe. 356 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,735 (gasping) 357 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,904 Little Lisa... 358 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,906 I've already started you a college fund 359 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,700 at Lincoln Savings and Loan. 360 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:36,412 According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her. 361 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,665 Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy, yellow butt. 362 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:43,293 From now on, the baby sleeps in the crib. 363 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,045 Iron helps us play. 364 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,255 (evil laughter) 365 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,965 Hello, Joe. 366 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:51,301 From now on, the baby sleeps in the crib. 367 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,511 Iron helps us play. 368 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,054 (evil laughter) 369 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,848 Hello, Joe. 370 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,893 Bart, there's someone in here who wants to meet you. 371 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:12,364 Well, Bart, what do you think of little Lisa? 372 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,950 I hate you. 373 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,373 I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born. 374 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,752 "Mondale to Hart: 'Where's the beef?'" 375 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,211 "Where's the beef?" 376 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,254 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 377 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,089 (laughs) 378 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,925 "Where's the beef?" No wonder he won Minnesota. 379 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:36,096 Everyone agreed that Lisa was a beautiful baby. 380 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,142 Here she is. 381 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,773 -(exhaling) -(Lisa coughing) 382 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,691 Isn't that cute? 383 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,318 She's coughing. 384 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,778 Aw. 385 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,946 I'm going to give her a kiss. 386 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,032 Mmm. 387 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,451 (loud kiss) 388 00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,120 -I know a new song. -You still here? 389 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:03,082 ♪ Alouette, gentille alouette ♪ 390 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,459 ♪ Alouette ♪ 391 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,960 Um... 392 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,045 Uh... 393 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,463 ♪ Alouette ♪ 394 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,632 You already sang that part. 395 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,843 The older they get, the cuter they ain't. 396 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,763 Hey, the baby just spit up. 397 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:20,015 A-wudge-a-wudge- a-wudge-a-woo. 398 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,059 A-wudge-a-wudge- a-wue-a-wudge-a-woo. 399 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:25,020 Welcome back to the final day of this the 23rd Olympiad, 400 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,064 brought to you by Krusty Burger. 401 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:29,608 You people are pigs! 402 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,277 (sobbing) 403 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,532 I personally am going to spit in every 50th burger. 404 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,118 I like those odds. 405 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,078 In a moment, we'll see the courageous Korean gymnast, 406 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,664 Kim Jong, who made a perfect dismount 407 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,208 on what was later revealed to be a broken leg. 408 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:51,380 -(bone snaps) -(agonized screaming) 409 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:55,551 (chuckles) Ouch! But first, let's go to the boxing venue. 410 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,095 Please, please, please, please... 411 00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:01,932 HOWARD COSELL: The American, Drederick Tatum, does a triumphant turkey trot 412 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,892 over the supine Swede. 413 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:08,438 One's thoughts turn to Alexander of Macedon's victory 414 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:11,150 at Granicus and Issus. 415 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,823 (chanting) U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 416 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,242 Carl Lewis, I could kiss you! 417 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,745 (chuckling) 418 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,040 She has the reflexes of a young Mary Lou Retton. 419 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,293 Have a wowipop. 420 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,295 Can I have a lollipop? 421 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:34,256 Oh, Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one. 422 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,050 But I've got something even better for you-- 423 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,428 a rubella inoculation. 424 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,805 (chuckling) 425 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:45,017 ♪♪ (humming "Rock-A-Bye Baby") 426 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,519 I want to hold the baby. I want to hold the baby. 427 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,022 I'm sorry, Bart, you're too little. 428 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,857 Here, Bart, you can hold my beer. 429 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,652 -Homer! -What? 430 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,863 Good night, honey. 431 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,661 -Hello, Lisa. -(snipping) 432 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:08,123 Lisa, time for your feed-- 433 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,458 (screaming) 434 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:12,628 -Who's cuter now? -(snipping) 435 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,756 She started it. 436 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:17,549 (giggles) 437 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,427 (giggling) 438 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,472 Stupid mailman. Squeal on me. 439 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,391 -(bell chimes) -Hidey-ho, Simpson! 440 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,477 Your son shoved this through our doggie door. 441 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,563 And since we're returning your second-born, 442 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,483 you think you could see your way to returning my TV tray-- 443 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,319 Boy, you get over to the corner 444 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,112 and you... Yeah. 445 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:45,661 I liked it when it was me, Mom, and Homer. 446 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,912 You wrecked everything. 447 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,956 I'm leaving. Good-bye! 448 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,959 Bart. 449 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,127 -What did you say? -Bart. 450 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,754 Suffering succotash! 451 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:56,797 You can talk! 452 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,798 (grunts) 453 00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,383 Mom, Dad! 454 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,468 She can talk! Say it again, Lis. 455 00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:02,678 Bart. 456 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,429 Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart. 457 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,056 I'm her first word. 458 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,849 Well, I'm not surprised. 459 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,476 Lisa's crazy about you. 460 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:12,020 She thinks you hung the moon. 461 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,022 Wow. 462 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,233 Lisa, can you say "Mommy"? 463 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:17,484 Mommy. 464 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,945 Can you say, "David Hasselhoff"? 465 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,531 David Hasselhoff. 466 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,033 -Can you say "Daddy"? -Homer. 467 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,368 No, sweetie, "Daddy." 468 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,704 Homer. 469 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:29,705 D'oh! 470 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,498 (laughing) 471 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,671 I was sitting there. 472 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,089 I don't see your name on it. 473 00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:40,465 It's right there. 474 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,301 Bart, don't write on the rug. 475 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,552 Ha ha! Mom yelled at you. 476 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:44,970 -Did not! -Did too. 477 00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:46,722 You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, 478 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,640 the sooner they talk back. 479 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,145 I hope you never say a word. 480 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:54,396 (switch clicks) 481 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:57,190 (door closes) 482 00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:01,403 Daddy. 483 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,249 ♪♪ 484 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:58,543 Shh. 485 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:04,883 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.