1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,047 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,177 (bell rings) 3 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,097 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,353 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:32,532 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:33,783 (tires screech) 7 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,995 D'oh! 8 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,497 -Aah! -(tires screech) 9 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,681 Okay, Ron. 10 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,476 Which one of our girls said the following about you? 11 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,396 "He looked so sexy, I hoped we would have sex." 12 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,231 Well, that's a tough one, 13 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,735 'cause I did the deed with Ouda, Candy, and Shasta. 14 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,695 (giggling) It's true, alright. 15 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,156 But I'm going to have to go with Shasta, 16 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,868 'cause she liked makin' bacon on the beach. 17 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,912 Ooh. Me too. 18 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,459 -Ohh, bacon. -(knocking) 19 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,796 Mr. Simpson, my husband and I have decided to move. 20 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,340 Going to run out the clock in Florida, eh? 21 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,842 Yes. Well, there's a few things 22 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,344 you could do to help us sell our home. 23 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,305 First, whenever you walk in front of your window, 24 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,767 -could you please wear pants? -Mmm, no. 25 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,187 Second, could you please take in your jack-o'-lanterns 26 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,107 from past Halloweens? 27 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,316 Mmm, no. 28 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,568 And please cover your garbage. 29 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,070 It's attracting wildlife. 30 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,196 What? 31 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,073 Hey, moose! Shoo! 32 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,491 Yeah, I'm talking to you. 33 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,326 Get off my lawn. Now! 34 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,370 (yells) 35 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,000 Hello. What's this? 36 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:10,046 Wire hangers, expired medicine, old newspapers... 37 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,798 (gasping) 38 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,967 Okay, Homer, stay calm. 39 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:17,011 Just quietly get this stuff inside your house. 40 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,015 Homer, you're not listening. 41 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,769 That medicine's not for you. 42 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,229 Come on, Marge. 43 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,689 Maybe I'm not getting enough... 44 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,065 "Estrogen." 45 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,525 Give me that. 46 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,861 Ahoy, mateys. Had your fill of tacos? 47 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,698 Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat than another burger? 48 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,908 Then come for all-you-can-eat seafood 49 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,785 at the Frying Dutchman. 50 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,079 (moaning) 51 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,707 Is it more iced tea ye be needing? 52 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,710 -Okay. -(laughs gruffly) 53 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,588 Set sail for the Frying Dutchman. 54 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,047 Aye, aye, Captain. 55 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,758 Marge, we're going to that restaurant. 56 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,260 But I think I'm allergic to seafood. 57 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,095 The last time I ate shrimp, 58 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,015 my throat closed up and I went into convulsions. 59 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,975 Mmm... shrimp. 60 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,312 Now, I don't know much about haggling or bargaining, 61 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,690 so why don't we just agree to pay whatever the Winfields want. 62 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,859 -That could work. -(belch in distance) 63 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,737 -What was that? -Sigh. 64 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,990 HOMER: Hmm? There you are. 65 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,284 Thought you could get away, huh? 66 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,493 Good-bye. 67 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,996 Hmm! 68 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,088 I don't think we should be down here. 69 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,341 Nervous, Lise? I don't blame you. 70 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:39,552 This is where the Winfields hid their mutated son. 71 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,930 Bart! The Winfields didn't have a son. 72 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,765 See that sock over there? 73 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,683 It was his only friend. 74 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,477 Hello, Lisa. 75 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,938 Here in the dark you won't need those eyes. 76 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,147 Let me have them. 77 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,565 Bart! That's not funny. 78 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,110 There are some who say the monster is still... 79 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,154 -here! -(screaming) 80 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,489 (yells) 81 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,574 (laughs) 82 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,326 Friend. 83 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,328 Friend... 84 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,372 (yells) 85 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,040 (body thuds) 86 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,542 -GIRL: Hey, kid, wake up. -BART: Who are you? 87 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,170 I'm Laura, your new neighbor. You all right? 88 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,757 She's beautiful. Say something clever. 89 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,259 I fell on my bottom. 90 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,885 D'oh! 91 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,099 (glass shatters) 92 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,142 Oh, not again. 93 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,644 My mother's inside, Mrs. Simpson. 94 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,062 Please go right on in. 95 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,023 Oh, you speak so politely to adults. 96 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,109 My upbringing was painfully strict, ma'am. 97 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,444 That's sweet. 98 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,948 MARGE: And finally, Moe's tavern has contributed a coupon 99 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,867 as their way of saying "Welcome to Springfield." 100 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,995 Thank you, this is all so nice. 101 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,956 I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield. 102 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,792 Especially after that Time cover story, 103 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,419 "America's Worst City." 104 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,838 -You can see our house in that photo. -Oh. 105 00:04:56,921 --> 00:05:01,676 And this is for the man of the house... 106 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:05,513 Mmm... which I guess is you. 107 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,516 -Mmm. -I guess I should explain. 108 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,311 Laura's father and I divorced two years ago. 109 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,521 They're so sweet when you marry them. 110 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,565 But soon it's just career, career, career. 111 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,568 My hammock! Do you understand? 112 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,403 Mine! Don't look that way. 113 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,280 (groans) 114 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,324 I bet you don't know this one. 115 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,450 How would you like a hurts doughnut? Ow! 116 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,744 Hurts, don't it? (chuckles) 117 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,746 Right. Do you know what a wet willy is? 118 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,665 Is it this? 119 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,710 Hey, baby, how about putting your finger in my ear? 120 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,671 I don't know. Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type. 121 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,591 -Hey, what the-- -That kid's messing with our minds. 122 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,635 -Let's get out of here. -Now, where were we? 123 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,556 -Oh, yeah, I was gonna tell your fortune. -Huh? 124 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,600 Oh, man, you're gonna be rich. 125 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:51,601 Whoa! 126 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,935 There's your mansion. 127 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,896 There's the tennis court. 128 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,773 (hawks and spits) And there's the swimming pool. 129 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,942 See you later, Bart. (chuckles) 130 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,279 I'll never wash this hand again. 131 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,283 LISA: Dad, make Bart wash his hand. 132 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,079 Sorry, Lise, I no longer control the hand. 133 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,790 -The hand controls me. -Dad! 134 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,666 Shut up, you little monsters! 135 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,253 Hello, I was wondering if you'd like to baby-sit my little angels? 136 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,713 Sorry. This isn't Abby. 137 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,758 This is her sister. I look after her now. 138 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,968 No, Bart, put it down. 139 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:31,140 Put it down, Bart. Bart, put it down. 140 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,143 Aw, no all-you-can-eat seafood. 141 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,813 I wore my extra-loose pants for nothing. 142 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,606 Nothing! 143 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:41,859 -Maybe Laura could watch us. -Oh, I get it. 144 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,362 Bart, the baby-sitter's here. 145 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,240 Let me tuck you in. (kissing) 146 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,325 Silence! 147 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,868 Huh? 148 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,079 (yells) 149 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:56,207 Maybe it's time I washed my hand. 150 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,959 I'll send Laura over to baby-sit 151 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,335 as soon as she gets home. 152 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,797 Great. Oh, and there was something else-- 153 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,384 something I was supposed to tiptoe around. 154 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,928 -My divorce. -That's it. Whoo-hoo! 155 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555 I'm glad one of us remembered. 156 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,014 That could have been embarrassing. 157 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,683 Well, I know what you're thinking, 158 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,809 and the answer is yes. 159 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,519 I want to be fixed up 160 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,563 with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it. 161 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:22,692 After all, Homer, I do have the normal appetites. 162 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,986 (chuckles) I know what you mean. 163 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,280 Just let me make sure we're not talkin' about food. 164 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:30,825 -I'm not. -Right. Me neither. 165 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,493 -We're talking about sex, right? -Right. 166 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,454 I hear you loud and clear. 167 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,788 (purrs) 168 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,624 Bart, are you taking a bath? 169 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,251 Yes, I am, and it would be nice 170 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,837 to have a little privacy around here for a change. 171 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,756 This wouldn't have anything to do with Laura coming over, would it? 172 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,343 Hey, sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowist. 173 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,472 Why, Laura, what a pleasant surprise. 174 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,684 Cute. What do you guys want for dinner? 175 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,144 I don't care. 176 00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,187 Ask Hef over there. 177 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,855 Ladies' choice. 178 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:06,694 (clock ticking) 179 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,280 Sometimes I think you want to fail! 180 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,616 Shut up. Just shut up! 181 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,118 (ringing) 182 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,871 We used to eat this 183 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,081 when my dad was stationed in Vandahar. 184 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,168 Take your kafta bi sanya and dip it in the labna. 185 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,711 Now that is good labna. 186 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,970 I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything on the menu has fish in it. 187 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,640 What about the bread? Does that have much fish in it? 188 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:39,143 -Yes. -Well, I have some Tic-Tacs in my purse. 189 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,646 Excellent choice. And for the gentleman? 190 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,731 All you can eat! All you can eat! 191 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,358 All right, when you're ready, take this plate over-- 192 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,237 Please, don't take the steam tray. Sir! 193 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,197 Come on, Bart, if I can teach Maggie to waltz, 194 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,491 I can teach you. 195 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,246 Just follow me and put your hand on my hip. 196 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,539 (voice cracking) Okay. 197 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,879 ♪♪ (waltz) 198 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,929 -Wedgie! -Whoa. 199 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,226 (neon sign buzzing) 200 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,687 (chomping and chewing) 201 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,938 (snoring) 202 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,401 That man ate all our shrimp 203 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,986 and two plastic lobsters. 204 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,529 'Tis no man. 205 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,364 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. 206 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,699 Arrrggg. 207 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,867 Six bells. Time for closing. 208 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,536 Can't talk. Eating. 209 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:41,455 Fairly warned be thee, says I. (snapping fingers) 210 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,794 Hey. Hey! 211 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,129 (Homer yelling) 212 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,175 But the sign said "All you can eat." 213 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,386 Mmm. 214 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,388 I'm going to fight this thing. 215 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,514 Oh, please don't. 216 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,057 For me. 217 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,518 Sorry, Marge, this is my quest. 218 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,229 I'm like that guy. That Spanish guy. 219 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,064 You know, he fought the windmills? 220 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,191 -Don Quixote? -No, that's not it. 221 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,693 What's his name? The Man of La Mancha. 222 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,570 -Don Quixote. -No! 223 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,740 I really think that was the character's name, Don Quixote. 224 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,033 Fine. I'll look it up. 225 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,328 Well, who was it? 226 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,246 -Never mind. -Mm-hmm. 227 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,498 (bell ringing) 228 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,964 Oh, no, here comes the conservative judge. 229 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,216 (judge growling) 230 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,303 -Plead insanity. Plead insanity! -It's not working. 231 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,264 All right. Hit the change of venue button! Now! 232 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,350 Oh, no, you're in Texas. 233 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,691 If I'd hit the remorse button one more time I would have made it. 234 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,777 Oh, Bart, I gotta go. See you around. 235 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:56,989 -I am thinking you like this girl, yes? -How did you know? 236 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,326 My ceiling mirrors and video cameras sometimes see more 237 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,536 than who is about to shoot me. 238 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,914 All you can eat. Ha! 239 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,458 Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case 240 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,502 of fraudulent advertising since my suit 241 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,213 against the film the Neverending Story. 242 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:14,131 So, do you think I have a case? 243 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,760 Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, 244 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:21,305 but you are the greatest hero in American history. 245 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,100 (cheering) 246 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,435 -I'm here to see my Grampa. -Here I am, sonny. 247 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,895 You're not my Grampa. 248 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,731 Aw, come on, give me a chance. 249 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,566 Hey, can your grandfather do this? 250 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,819 Hey! Ha! Hoo! 251 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,821 Hey! Ha! Hoo! 252 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:37,988 Hey! Ha! Oh! 253 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,283 Bart! Aw, you remembered my birthday. 254 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:45,246 Huh? Oh, I sure did. 255 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,248 Here's a bus schedule. 256 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,292 Wow! Fits right in my pocket. 257 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,503 Grampa, I need some advice. 258 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,672 Did you ever have a crush on an older woman? 259 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:58,217 I had a crush on the oldest woman. 260 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,302 120 years old, she was. 261 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,556 Here's a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake. 262 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,515 What happened? 263 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,977 She fell in with that Guinness Book of Records crowd. 264 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,480 Suddenly she didn't have any time for me. 265 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,234 Oh, I wore a 15-pound beard of bees 266 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,570 for that woman, but it just wasn't enough. 267 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,489 Dad, I have some questions about women. 268 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:25,453 Uh, can't you see I'm reading the... cultural calendar? 269 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,455 Ooh, "Mostly Mozart" is in town. 270 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,416 Homer, Bart's at a very curious age. 271 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,043 As his father, I think you should have 272 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,879 a frank and earthy discussion about... 273 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,881 Mmm, you know. 274 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,257 But Marge, I think he should learn 275 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,842 about it the same way I did. 276 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,761 Are you sure? 277 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,263 Hmm... 278 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:47,099 Zoo keeper! Zoo keeper! 279 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,226 Those two monkeys are killing each other. 280 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,311 (whispers) They're having sex. 281 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:51,312 Oh. 282 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,105 Maybe you're right. 283 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,524 Now if you'll excuse us... 284 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,569 this is a sacred moment between a boy and his father. 285 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:03,449 Son, a woman is a lot like, um... 286 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,367 a refrigerator. 287 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,078 They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. 288 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,748 They make ice, and... 289 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,291 Oh, wait a minute. 290 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,336 Actually, a woman is more like a beer. 291 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,463 They smell good, they look good. 292 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,799 You'd step over your own mother just to get one. 293 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,927 But you can't stop at one. 294 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,846 You want to drink another woman. 295 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,726 So I says, "Yeah? If you want that money, 296 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,520 "come and find it, 297 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,814 "'cause I don't know where it is, you baloney. 298 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:39,485 You make me want to retch." 299 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,530 (snoring) 300 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:48,160 Hmm, how can I get her to notice me? 301 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,455 Meet me at the tree house, Bart. 302 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,415 And come alone. 303 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,625 (gulps) 304 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,635 Thanks for coming. 305 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:05,970 (voice cracks) I please to aim. 306 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,221 I'm so happy. 307 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,348 I just had to tell someone. 308 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,975 I have a boyfriend. 309 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,814 You won't be needing this. 310 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,400 (pumping) 311 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,739 (groaning) 312 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,744 A boyfriend? 313 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,122 I really think you'd like him, Bart. 314 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,123 His name's Jimbo. 315 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,625 Jimbo Jones? 316 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,337 (toilet flushing) 317 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,882 -(muffled yelling) -(knocking) 318 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,800 You've been flushing for 20 minutes. 319 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,135 Is there a problem? 320 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,388 Uh... no, Principal Skinner. 321 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,765 Very well. I'll continue to wait. 322 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,768 -(toilet flushing) -(Skinner humming) 323 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,478 (whistling) 324 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,188 (flushing continues) 325 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,109 How can you like that guy? 326 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,278 I don't know, maybe 'cause he's an outlaw. 327 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,738 You know that dead body 328 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,239 they found behind the mayor's house? 329 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,616 Jimbo killed him? 330 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,994 No, but he poked him with a stick. 331 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:16,332 Hey, Laura, Dr. Tongue has arrived. 332 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,250 That's him, Bart. 333 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,711 -Who's the dork? -Leave him alone. 334 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,087 He's just a kid. 335 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,839 (echoing) Just a kid... 336 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,925 I'll show them who's just a kid. 337 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,093 MARGE: Bart, it's your bedtime. 338 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,845 I laid out your jammy-jams. 339 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,930 (groans) 340 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,514 (growling and chomping) 341 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,311 Dad, if there's a really special girl 342 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,104 and she likes some clod who's beneath her, 343 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,439 what should you do? 344 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,815 I married her. 345 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,817 (chuckles) 346 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:44,944 Homer, please. 347 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,071 (hiccups) I just had eggs. 348 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,907 Good luck in your trumped-up lawsuit, Dad. 349 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:53,369 Thanks. That means a lot to me. 350 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,038 All right, you guys, I want you guys in bed before Jimbo gets here. 351 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,040 What do you like about him? 352 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,376 He's just a good-looking rebel who plays by his own rules. 353 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,086 -(sighing) -(sighing) 354 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,004 'Twas a moonless night, 355 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,049 dark as pitch, when out the mist 356 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,969 came a beast more stomach than man. 357 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,845 -Hey! -So I says to me bosun's: 358 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,973 "Batten down the mizzenmast, mateys." 359 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,850 Captain McAllister, isn't it a fact 360 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,353 that you're not a real captain? 361 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,605 -Aye. -(murmuring) 362 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,441 Your Honor, I would like to show the court 363 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,610 just how much shrimp Mr. Simpson ate. 364 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,195 Bring it in, boys. 365 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:40,124 18,000 letters all addressed to Santa Claus. 366 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,376 You want The People of Springfield v. Kris Kringle. 367 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,545 -That's next door. -Oh. 368 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,840 Mrs. Simpson, isn't it true 369 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,802 your husband once consumed a ten-pound bag of flour 370 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,096 when no other food was available? 371 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,974 -Yes, but it was-- -Your witness. 372 00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,436 -Uh, there's a pizza here for-- -Right here. 373 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,148 Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do 374 00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,692 after you were ejected from the restaurant? 375 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:09,153 We... pretty much went straight home. 376 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,989 Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath. 377 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,575 We drove around until 3:00 a.m. 378 00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,995 looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant. 379 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,872 (excited murmuring) 380 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,290 And when you couldn't find one? 381 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,709 We went fishing. 382 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,335 (sobbing) 383 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,881 Did these sound like the actions of a man 384 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,091 who had all he could eat? 385 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,134 -Not at all! -No! 386 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,635 That could have been me. 387 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,388 Homer, I've a proposition for ye 388 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,223 fair and true. 389 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,808 Come on, Marge. 390 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,477 Let the people see your pretty face. 391 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,729 Come see Bottomless Pete, 392 00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:46,440 nature's cruelest mistake. 393 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,775 Come for the freak, 394 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,359 stay for the food. 395 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,819 WOMAN: Oh, he's hideous. 396 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,946 MAN: I heard they shaved a gorilla. 397 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,117 Hey, baby, my shirt's chafing me. 398 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,244 Mind if I take it off? 399 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,789 Well... okay. 400 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,587 I got to do something. 401 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,380 Hmm. 402 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,841 But it says "Good for one free beer at Moe's." 403 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,052 This is Moe's tavern, isn't it? 404 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,721 No. This is Bo's Cavern. 405 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,681 Give me my beer. 406 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,266 Stupid welcome-mobile. 407 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,143 I knew it would ruin me. 408 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,436 (phone ringing) 409 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,271 Just a sec, I'll check. 410 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,315 Uh... Amanda Huggenkiss? 411 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,360 Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss. 412 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,822 Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss? 413 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,490 (loud laughter) 414 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,575 Maybe your standards are too high. 415 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,119 You little S.O.B.! 416 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,079 If I ever find out who you are 417 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,164 I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat 418 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,333 and stick starving dogs in your butt. 419 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,835 My name is Jimbo Jones 420 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,504 and I live at 1094 Evergreen Terrace. 421 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,049 Aha! Big mistake, pal! 422 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,718 I knew he'd slip up sooner or later. 423 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,720 Ah, yes. Rusty and dull. 424 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,974 Barney, don't steal 425 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,851 any beer while I'm gone. 426 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,062 What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? 427 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,480 (gasps) 428 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,482 Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray. 429 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,818 -(slurping) -Ah. 430 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,320 (grunting) 431 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,573 (maniacal laughter) 432 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,324 MOE: Let's see, where is that map? 433 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,411 Evergreen Terrace... There it is, F-5. 434 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,037 (maniacal laughter continues) 435 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,085 I don't believe it. 436 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,254 Now my pants are chafing me. 437 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,505 (shouts) 438 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,216 All right. Who's Jimbo Jones? 439 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,134 I am. 440 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,512 You just made your second mistake, buddy boy. 441 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,556 Please, dude, don't hurt me. 442 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,057 Oh, man! 443 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,394 -(crying) -That's your outlaw? 444 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,105 I wasn't really going to kill ya. I was just going to cut ya. 445 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,691 (sobbing) 446 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,193 Aw, forget it. 447 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,320 Ouch! I better go check on Barney. 448 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,988 (slurping) 449 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:02,284 Uh-oh, my heart just stopped. 450 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,788 Ah! There it goes. 451 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,749 (grunting) 452 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,211 -(loud thud) -Ow! 453 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,296 Stupid wishing well. 454 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,131 Jimbo, I don't think 455 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,758 we should see each other anymore. 456 00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,718 You're just not the guy I thought you were. 457 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:23,764 (sniffling) Can I have my shirt back? 458 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,225 (blows nose) 459 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,977 Well, Bart, you were right about him. 460 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,979 As usual, a knife-wielding maniac 461 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,356 has shown us the way. 462 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,150 You know, if you were only old enough 463 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,402 to grow a bad teenage moustache, 464 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,571 I'd go out with you in a second. 465 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,031 Wow. 466 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:44,034 Hello. I'd like to speak to Ms. Tinkle. 467 00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,036 First name... (whispers) 468 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,287 Ivana. 469 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,581 Ivana Tinkle. Just a sec. 470 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,751 Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle! 471 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,170 All right, everybody, put down your glasses. 472 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,546 Ivana Tinkle! 473 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,591 (loud laughter) 474 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,635 Har, har, har. 475 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:02,761 (laughing) 476 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,726 ♪♪ 477 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,354 Shh! 478 00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:00,610 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.