1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,047
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,177
(bell rings)
3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,097
(work whistle blows)
4
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,353
-(sucking)
-(register beeping)
5
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:32,532
(jazzy solo)
6
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:33,783
(tires screech)
7
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,995
D'oh!
8
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,497
-Aah!
-(tires screech)
9
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,681
Okay, Ron.
10
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,476
Which one of our girls
said the following about you?
11
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,396
"He looked so sexy,
I hoped we would have sex."
12
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,231
Well, that's a tough one,
13
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,735
'cause I did the deed
with Ouda, Candy, and Shasta.
14
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,695
(giggling)
It's true, alright.
15
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,156
But I'm going to have
to go with Shasta,
16
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,868
'cause she liked makin' bacon
on the beach.
17
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,912
Ooh. Me too.
18
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,459
-Ohh, bacon.
-(knocking)
19
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,796
Mr. Simpson, my husband and I
have decided to move.
20
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,340
Going to run out the clock
in Florida, eh?
21
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,842
Yes. Well,
there's a few things
22
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,344
you could do
to help us sell our home.
23
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,305
First, whenever you walk
in front of your window,
24
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,767
-could you please wear pants?
-Mmm, no.
25
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,187
Second, could you please take in
your jack-o'-lanterns
26
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,107
from past Halloweens?
27
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,316
Mmm, no.
28
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,568
And please cover your garbage.
29
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,070
It's attracting wildlife.
30
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,196
What?
31
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,073
Hey, moose! Shoo!
32
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,491
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
33
00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,326
Get off my lawn. Now!
34
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,370
(yells)
35
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,000
Hello. What's this?
36
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:10,046
Wire hangers, expired medicine,
old newspapers...
37
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,798
(gasping)
38
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,967
Okay, Homer, stay calm.
39
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:17,011
Just quietly get this stuff
inside your house.
40
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,015
Homer, you're not listening.
41
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,769
That medicine's not for you.
42
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,229
Come on, Marge.
43
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,689
Maybe I'm not getting enough...
44
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,065
"Estrogen."
45
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,525
Give me that.
46
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,861
Ahoy, mateys.
Had your fill of tacos?
47
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,698
Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat
than another burger?
48
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,908
Then come for
all-you-can-eat seafood
49
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,785
at the Frying Dutchman.
50
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,079
(moaning)
51
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,707
Is it more iced tea
ye be needing?
52
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,710
-Okay.
-(laughs gruffly)
53
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,588
Set sail
for the Frying Dutchman.
54
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,047
Aye, aye, Captain.
55
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,758
Marge, we're going
to that restaurant.
56
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,260
But I think
I'm allergic to seafood.
57
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,095
The last time I ate shrimp,
58
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,015
my throat closed up
and I went into convulsions.
59
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,975
Mmm... shrimp.
60
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,312
Now, I don't know much
about haggling or bargaining,
61
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,690
so why don't we just agree
to pay whatever the Winfields want.
62
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,859
-That could work.
-(belch in distance)
63
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,737
-What was that?
-Sigh.
64
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,990
HOMER:
Hmm? There you are.
65
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,284
Thought you could get away, huh?
66
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,493
Good-bye.
67
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,996
Hmm!
68
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,088
I don't think
we should be down here.
69
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,341
Nervous, Lise?
I don't blame you.
70
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:39,552
This is where the Winfields hid
their mutated son.
71
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,930
Bart! The Winfields
didn't have a son.
72
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,765
See that sock over there?
73
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,683
It was his only friend.
74
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,477
Hello, Lisa.
75
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,938
Here in the dark
you won't need those eyes.
76
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,147
Let me have them.
77
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,565
Bart! That's not funny.
78
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,110
There are some who say
the monster is still...
79
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,154
-here!
-(screaming)
80
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,489
(yells)
81
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,574
(laughs)
82
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,326
Friend.
83
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,328
Friend...
84
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,372
(yells)
85
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,040
(body thuds)
86
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,542
-GIRL: Hey, kid, wake up.
-BART: Who are you?
87
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,170
I'm Laura, your new neighbor.
You all right?
88
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,757
She's beautiful.
Say something clever.
89
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,259
I fell on my bottom.
90
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,885
D'oh!
91
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,099
(glass shatters)
92
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,142
Oh, not again.
93
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,644
My mother's inside,
Mrs. Simpson.
94
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,062
Please go right on in.
95
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,023
Oh, you speak so politely
to adults.
96
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,109
My upbringing
was painfully strict, ma'am.
97
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,444
That's sweet.
98
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,948
MARGE: And finally,
Moe's tavern has contributed a coupon
99
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,867
as their way of saying
"Welcome to Springfield."
100
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,995
Thank you,
this is all so nice.
101
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,956
I actually had some doubts
about moving to Springfield.
102
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,792
Especially after
that Time cover story,
103
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,419
"America's Worst City."
104
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,838
-You can see our house in that photo.
-Oh.
105
00:04:56,921 --> 00:05:01,676
And this is for the man
of the house...
106
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:05,513
Mmm... which I guess is you.
107
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,516
-Mmm.
-I guess I should explain.
108
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,311
Laura's father and I
divorced two years ago.
109
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,521
They're so sweet
when you marry them.
110
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,565
But soon it's just
career, career, career.
111
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,568
My hammock!
Do you understand?
112
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,403
Mine! Don't look that way.
113
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,280
(groans)
114
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,324
I bet you don't know
this one.
115
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,450
How would you like
a hurts doughnut? Ow!
116
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,744
Hurts, don't it?
(chuckles)
117
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,746
Right. Do you know
what a wet willy is?
118
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,665
Is it this?
119
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,710
Hey, baby, how about putting
your finger in my ear?
120
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,671
I don't know. Your boyfriend
looks like the jealous type.
121
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,591
-Hey, what the--
-That kid's messing with our minds.
122
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,635
-Let's get out of here.
-Now, where were we?
123
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,556
-Oh, yeah, I was gonna tell your fortune.
-Huh?
124
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,600
Oh, man, you're gonna be rich.
125
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:51,601
Whoa!
126
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,935
There's your mansion.
127
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,896
There's the tennis court.
128
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,773
(hawks and spits)
And there's the swimming pool.
129
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,942
See you later, Bart.
(chuckles)
130
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,279
I'll never wash this hand
again.
131
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,283
LISA: Dad, make Bart
wash his hand.
132
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,079
Sorry, Lise, I no longer
control the hand.
133
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,790
-The hand controls me.
-Dad!
134
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,666
Shut up,
you little monsters!
135
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,253
Hello, I was wondering if you'd
like to baby-sit my little angels?
136
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,713
Sorry. This isn't Abby.
137
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,758
This is her sister.
I look after her now.
138
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,968
No, Bart, put it down.
139
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:31,140
Put it down, Bart.
Bart, put it down.
140
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,143
Aw, no all-you-can-eat
seafood.
141
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,813
I wore my extra-loose pants
for nothing.
142
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,606
Nothing!
143
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:41,859
-Maybe Laura could watch us.
-Oh, I get it.
144
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,362
Bart, the baby-sitter's here.
145
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,240
Let me tuck you in.
(kissing)
146
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,325
Silence!
147
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,868
Huh?
148
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,079
(yells)
149
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:56,207
Maybe it's time
I washed my hand.
150
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,959
I'll send Laura over
to baby-sit
151
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,335
as soon as she gets home.
152
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,797
Great. Oh, and there was
something else--
153
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,384
something I was supposed
to tiptoe around.
154
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,928
-My divorce.
-That's it. Whoo-hoo!
155
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555
I'm glad one of us
remembered.
156
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,014
That could have been
embarrassing.
157
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,683
Well, I know what
you're thinking,
158
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,809
and the answer is yes.
159
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,519
I want to be fixed up
160
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,563
with one of your friends
as soon as you can arrange it.
161
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:22,692
After all, Homer,
I do have the normal appetites.
162
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,986
(chuckles)
I know what you mean.
163
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,280
Just let me make sure
we're not talkin' about food.
164
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:30,825
-I'm not.
-Right. Me neither.
165
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,493
-We're talking about sex, right?
-Right.
166
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,454
I hear you loud and clear.
167
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,788
(purrs)
168
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,624
Bart, are you taking a bath?
169
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,251
Yes, I am,
and it would be nice
170
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,837
to have a little privacy
around here for a change.
171
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,756
This wouldn't have anything to do
with Laura coming over, would it?
172
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,343
Hey, sometimes a guy just likes
his skin to look its yellowist.
173
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,472
Why, Laura,
what a pleasant surprise.
174
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,684
Cute. What do you
guys want for dinner?
175
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,144
I don't care.
176
00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,187
Ask Hef over there.
177
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,855
Ladies' choice.
178
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:06,694
(clock ticking)
179
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,280
Sometimes I think you want
to fail!
180
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,616
Shut up. Just shut up!
181
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,118
(ringing)
182
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,871
We used to eat this
183
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,081
when my dad was stationed
in Vandahar.
184
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,168
Take your kafta bi sanya
and dip it in the labna.
185
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,711
Now that is good labna.
186
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,970
I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything
on the menu has fish in it.
187
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,640
What about the bread?
Does that have much fish in it?
188
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:39,143
-Yes.
-Well, I have some Tic-Tacs in my purse.
189
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,646
Excellent choice.
And for the gentleman?
190
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,731
All you can eat!
All you can eat!
191
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,358
All right, when you're ready,
take this plate over--
192
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,237
Please, don't take
the steam tray. Sir!
193
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,197
Come on, Bart,
if I can teach Maggie to waltz,
194
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,491
I can teach you.
195
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,246
Just follow me
and put your hand on my hip.
196
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,539
(voice cracking)
Okay.
197
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,879
♪♪ (waltz)
198
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,929
-Wedgie!
-Whoa.
199
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,226
(neon sign buzzing)
200
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,687
(chomping and chewing)
201
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,938
(snoring)
202
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,401
That man ate all our shrimp
203
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,986
and two plastic lobsters.
204
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,529
'Tis no man.
205
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,364
'Tis a remorseless
eating machine.
206
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,699
Arrrggg.
207
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,867
Six bells.
Time for closing.
208
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,536
Can't talk.
Eating.
209
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:41,455
Fairly warned be thee, says I.
(snapping fingers)
210
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,794
Hey. Hey!
211
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,129
(Homer yelling)
212
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,175
But the sign said
"All you can eat."
213
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,386
Mmm.
214
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,388
I'm going to fight
this thing.
215
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,514
Oh, please don't.
216
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,057
For me.
217
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,518
Sorry, Marge,
this is my quest.
218
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,229
I'm like that guy.
That Spanish guy.
219
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,064
You know,
he fought the windmills?
220
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,191
-Don Quixote?
-No, that's not it.
221
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,693
What's his name?
The Man of La Mancha.
222
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,570
-Don Quixote.
-No!
223
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,740
I really think that was
the character's name, Don Quixote.
224
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,033
Fine.
I'll look it up.
225
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,328
Well, who was it?
226
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,246
-Never mind.
-Mm-hmm.
227
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,498
(bell ringing)
228
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,964
Oh, no, here comes
the conservative judge.
229
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,216
(judge growling)
230
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,303
-Plead insanity. Plead insanity!
-It's not working.
231
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,264
All right. Hit the change
of venue button! Now!
232
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,350
Oh, no,
you're in Texas.
233
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,691
If I'd hit the remorse button
one more time I would have made it.
234
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,777
Oh, Bart, I gotta go.
See you around.
235
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:56,989
-I am thinking you like this girl, yes?
-How did you know?
236
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,326
My ceiling mirrors and video cameras
sometimes see more
237
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,536
than who is
about to shoot me.
238
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,914
All you can eat. Ha!
239
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,458
Mr. Simpson, this is
the most blatant case
240
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,502
of fraudulent advertising
since my suit
241
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,213
against the film
the Neverending Story.
242
00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:14,131
So, do you think
I have a case?
243
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,760
Homer, I don't use the word
"hero" very often,
244
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:21,305
but you are the greatest hero
in American history.
245
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,100
(cheering)
246
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,435
-I'm here to see my Grampa.
-Here I am, sonny.
247
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,895
You're not my Grampa.
248
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,731
Aw, come on,
give me a chance.
249
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,566
Hey, can your grandfather
do this?
250
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,819
Hey! Ha! Hoo!
251
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,821
Hey! Ha! Hoo!
252
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:37,988
Hey! Ha! Oh!
253
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,283
Bart! Aw, you remembered
my birthday.
254
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:45,246
Huh? Oh, I sure did.
255
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,248
Here's a bus schedule.
256
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,292
Wow! Fits right in my pocket.
257
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,503
Grampa, I need some advice.
258
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,672
Did you ever have a crush
on an older woman?
259
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:58,217
I had a crush
on the oldest woman.
260
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,302
120 years old, she was.
261
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,556
Here's a picture of her
delivering Eubie Blake.
262
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,515
What happened?
263
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,977
She fell in with that
Guinness Book of Records crowd.
264
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,480
Suddenly she didn't
have any time for me.
265
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,234
Oh, I wore a 15-pound
beard of bees
266
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,570
for that woman,
but it just wasn't enough.
267
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,489
Dad, I have some questions
about women.
268
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:25,453
Uh, can't you see I'm reading
the... cultural calendar?
269
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,455
Ooh, "Mostly Mozart" is in town.
270
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,416
Homer, Bart's at
a very curious age.
271
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,043
As his father,
I think you should have
272
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,879
a frank and earthy
discussion about...
273
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,881
Mmm, you know.
274
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,257
But Marge,
I think he should learn
275
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,842
about it
the same way I did.
276
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,761
Are you sure?
277
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,263
Hmm...
278
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:47,099
Zoo keeper! Zoo keeper!
279
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,226
Those two monkeys
are killing each other.
280
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,311
(whispers)
They're having sex.
281
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:51,312
Oh.
282
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,105
Maybe you're right.
283
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,524
Now if you'll excuse us...
284
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,569
this is a sacred moment
between a boy and his father.
285
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:03,449
Son, a woman
is a lot like, um...
286
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,367
a refrigerator.
287
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,078
They're about six feet tall,
300 pounds.
288
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,748
They make ice, and...
289
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,291
Oh, wait a minute.
290
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,336
Actually, a woman
is more like a beer.
291
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,463
They smell good,
they look good.
292
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,799
You'd step over your own
mother just to get one.
293
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,927
But you can't stop at one.
294
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,846
You want to drink
another woman.
295
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,726
So I says, "Yeah?
If you want that money,
296
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,520
"come and find it,
297
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,814
"'cause I don't know
where it is, you baloney.
298
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:39,485
You make me want to retch."
299
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,530
(snoring)
300
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:48,160
Hmm, how can I get her
to notice me?
301
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,455
Meet me at the tree house, Bart.
302
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,415
And come alone.
303
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,625
(gulps)
304
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,635
Thanks for coming.
305
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:05,970
(voice cracks)
I please to aim.
306
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,221
I'm so happy.
307
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,348
I just had to tell someone.
308
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,975
I have a boyfriend.
309
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,814
You won't be needing this.
310
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,400
(pumping)
311
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,739
(groaning)
312
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,744
A boyfriend?
313
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,122
I really think
you'd like him, Bart.
314
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,123
His name's Jimbo.
315
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,625
Jimbo Jones?
316
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,337
(toilet flushing)
317
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,882
-(muffled yelling)
-(knocking)
318
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,800
You've been flushing
for 20 minutes.
319
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,135
Is there a problem?
320
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,388
Uh... no, Principal Skinner.
321
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,765
Very well.
I'll continue to wait.
322
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,768
-(toilet flushing)
-(Skinner humming)
323
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,478
(whistling)
324
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,188
(flushing continues)
325
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,109
How can you like that guy?
326
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,278
I don't know, maybe
'cause he's an outlaw.
327
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,738
You know that dead body
328
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,239
they found
behind the mayor's house?
329
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,616
Jimbo killed him?
330
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,994
No, but he poked him
with a stick.
331
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:16,332
Hey, Laura,
Dr. Tongue has arrived.
332
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,250
That's him, Bart.
333
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,711
-Who's the dork?
-Leave him alone.
334
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,087
He's just a kid.
335
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,839
(echoing)
Just a kid...
336
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,925
I'll show them
who's just a kid.
337
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,093
MARGE:
Bart, it's your bedtime.
338
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,845
I laid out your jammy-jams.
339
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,930
(groans)
340
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,514
(growling and chomping)
341
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,311
Dad, if there's
a really special girl
342
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,104
and she likes some clod
who's beneath her,
343
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,439
what should you do?
344
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,815
I married her.
345
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,817
(chuckles)
346
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:44,944
Homer, please.
347
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,071
(hiccups)
I just had eggs.
348
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,907
Good luck in your trumped-up
lawsuit, Dad.
349
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:53,369
Thanks.
That means a lot to me.
350
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,038
All right, you guys, I want you guys
in bed before Jimbo gets here.
351
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,040
What do you like about him?
352
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,376
He's just a good-looking rebel
who plays by his own rules.
353
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,086
-(sighing)
-(sighing)
354
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,004
'Twas a moonless night,
355
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,049
dark as pitch,
when out the mist
356
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,969
came a beast
more stomach than man.
357
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,845
-Hey!
-So I says to me bosun's:
358
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,973
"Batten down
the mizzenmast, mateys."
359
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,850
Captain McAllister,
isn't it a fact
360
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,353
that you're not
a real captain?
361
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,605
-Aye.
-(murmuring)
362
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,441
Your Honor, I would like
to show the court
363
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,610
just how much shrimp
Mr. Simpson ate.
364
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,195
Bring it in, boys.
365
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:40,124
18,000 letters all addressed
to Santa Claus.
366
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,376
You want The People of
Springfield v. Kris Kringle.
367
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,545
-That's next door.
-Oh.
368
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,840
Mrs. Simpson,
isn't it true
369
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,802
your husband once consumed
a ten-pound bag of flour
370
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,096
when no other food
was available?
371
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,974
-Yes, but it was--
-Your witness.
372
00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,436
-Uh, there's a pizza here for--
-Right here.
373
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,148
Mrs. Simpson, what did
you and your husband do
374
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,692
after you were ejected
from the restaurant?
375
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:09,153
We... pretty much
went straight home.
376
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,989
Mrs. Simpson,
you're under oath.
377
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,575
We drove around
until 3:00 a.m.
378
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,995
looking for another
all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
379
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,872
(excited murmuring)
380
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,290
And when you
couldn't find one?
381
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,709
We went fishing.
382
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,335
(sobbing)
383
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,881
Did these sound like
the actions of a man
384
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,091
who had all he could eat?
385
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,134
-Not at all!
-No!
386
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,635
That could have been me.
387
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,388
Homer,
I've a proposition for ye
388
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,223
fair and true.
389
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,808
Come on, Marge.
390
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,477
Let the people see
your pretty face.
391
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,729
Come see Bottomless Pete,
392
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:46,440
nature's cruelest mistake.
393
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,775
Come for the freak,
394
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,359
stay for the food.
395
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,819
WOMAN:
Oh, he's hideous.
396
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,946
MAN:
I heard they shaved a gorilla.
397
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,117
Hey, baby,
my shirt's chafing me.
398
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,244
Mind if I take it off?
399
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,789
Well... okay.
400
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,587
I got to do something.
401
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,380
Hmm.
402
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,841
But it says "Good for
one free beer at Moe's."
403
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,052
This is Moe's tavern,
isn't it?
404
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,721
No. This is Bo's Cavern.
405
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,681
Give me my beer.
406
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,266
Stupid welcome-mobile.
407
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,143
I knew it would ruin me.
408
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,436
(phone ringing)
409
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,271
Just a sec, I'll check.
410
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,315
Uh... Amanda Huggenkiss?
411
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,360
Hey, I'm looking
for Amanda Huggenkiss.
412
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,822
Why can't I find
Amanda Huggenkiss?
413
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,490
(loud laughter)
414
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,575
Maybe your standards
are too high.
415
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,119
You little S.O.B.!
416
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,079
If I ever find out
who you are
417
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,164
I'm gonna shove a sausage
down your throat
418
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,333
and stick starving dogs
in your butt.
419
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,835
My name is Jimbo Jones
420
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,504
and I live
at 1094 Evergreen Terrace.
421
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,049
Aha! Big mistake, pal!
422
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,718
I knew he'd slip up
sooner or later.
423
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,720
Ah, yes. Rusty and dull.
424
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,974
Barney, don't steal
425
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,851
any beer while I'm gone.
426
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,062
What kind of pathetic drunk
do you take me for?
427
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,480
(gasps)
428
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,482
Somebody spilled beer
in this ashtray.
429
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,818
-(slurping)
-Ah.
430
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,320
(grunting)
431
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,573
(maniacal laughter)
432
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,324
MOE: Let's see,
where is that map?
433
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,411
Evergreen Terrace...
There it is, F-5.
434
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,037
(maniacal laughter continues)
435
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,085
I don't believe it.
436
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,254
Now my pants
are chafing me.
437
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,505
(shouts)
438
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,216
All right.
Who's Jimbo Jones?
439
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,134
I am.
440
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,512
You just made your
second mistake, buddy boy.
441
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,556
Please, dude,
don't hurt me.
442
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,057
Oh, man!
443
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,394
-(crying)
-That's your outlaw?
444
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,105
I wasn't really going to kill ya.
I was just going to cut ya.
445
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,691
(sobbing)
446
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,193
Aw, forget it.
447
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,320
Ouch! I better
go check on Barney.
448
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,988
(slurping)
449
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:02,284
Uh-oh, my heart just stopped.
450
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,788
Ah! There it goes.
451
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,749
(grunting)
452
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,211
-(loud thud)
-Ow!
453
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,296
Stupid wishing well.
454
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,131
Jimbo, I don't think
455
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,758
we should see
each other anymore.
456
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,718
You're just not the guy
I thought you were.
457
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:23,764
(sniffling)
Can I have my shirt back?
458
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,225
(blows nose)
459
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,977
Well, Bart,
you were right about him.
460
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,979
As usual,
a knife-wielding maniac
461
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,356
has shown us the way.
462
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,150
You know, if you
were only old enough
463
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,402
to grow a bad
teenage moustache,
464
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,571
I'd go out
with you in a second.
465
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,031
Wow.
466
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:44,034
Hello. I'd like to speak
to Ms. Tinkle.
467
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,036
First name...
(whispers)
468
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,287
Ivana.
469
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,581
Ivana Tinkle.
Just a sec.
470
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,751
Ivana Tinkle?
Ivana Tinkle!
471
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,170
All right, everybody,
put down your glasses.
472
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,546
Ivana Tinkle!
473
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,591
(loud laughter)
474
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,635
Har, har, har.
475
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:02,761
(laughing)
476
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,726
♪♪
477
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,354
Shh!
478
00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:00,610
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.