1
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阿森一族

2
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（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

3
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（春田小學）

4
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（我不再亂開藥方）

5
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（注意安全）

6
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（《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片）

7
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（春田小學園遊會）

8
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斯金納校長
這句“地球上最快樂的地方”

9
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版權屬“迪士尼樂園”公司

10
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各位，這只是小小的小學園遊會

11
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可能要打大大的官司

12
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你犯了大錯，斯金納

13
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你也是

14
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你惹毛了特種部隊猛男

15
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版權逾期了

16
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開射

17
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好難玩

18
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選到紅，進一步

19
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（三牌奇術）

20
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選到黑，退一步

21
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我不記得有批准設立這攤位

22
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:10,880
各位再見

23
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,718
快來買羊肚包享用啊

24
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碎心和碎肺

25
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塞進真的羊肚裡蒸煮

26
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吃起來像聽起來一樣好吃

27
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苦口良藥

28
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羊…

29
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（羊肚包，五毫）

30
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（神準猜中年齡體重）

31
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我猜你53歲，420磅

32
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哈…你輸了

33
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36歲，239磅

34
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喔

35
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（摩天飛船）

36
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奧托哥，猜你不敢讓它轉更快

37
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誰說的

38
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這東東爆炸前，我會在墨西哥

39
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（金寶鬼屋）

40
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好正，鬼屋呀

41
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錢全交出來

42
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可怕嗎？

43
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嗯嗯

44
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喔…寶貝

45
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喔喔

46
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（浮誇漫畫，三元）

47
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,581
小妹妹，喜歡滾軸溜冰鞋嗎？

48
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-不喜歡
-好

49
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大家都愛滾軸溜冰鞋

50
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好，可以轉過來了

51
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,387
OMG，我好醜

52
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等一下，我們就要轉出…

53
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,892
我們的頭獎

54
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著名的達夫啤酒飛船之旅

55
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達夫飛船之旅

56
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（達夫啤酒）

57
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看到麥田裡的環形圖案沒？

58
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那是中樞灌溉系統

59
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哇

60
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,281
來去鳥瞰超級盃賽事吧

61
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荷馬…

62
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嗨，荷馬

63
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,372
哎喲，抱歉

64
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荷馬…

65
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,964
首先抽出二獎

66
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,675
這部超級擦鞋機的得主是…

67
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內德佛蘭德斯

68
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不公平，我們永不會有擦鞋機了

69
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,185
我們家有一部，你沒用過

70
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人家要那一部嘛

71
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飛船之旅的得主是…

72
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荷馬辛普森

73
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OMG

74
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嘿，你好，飛船小子

75
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自由自在，遨遊天際

76
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,668
親愛的，怎麼了？

77
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爸，你覺得我醜嗎？

78
00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,674
妳在胡說什麼？

79
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,805
麗莎，這不是真的

80
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:09,142
只是妳的浮誇卡通畫像

81
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我是醜八怪

82
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沒那回事，妳可愛得像蟲蟲耳朵

83
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為人父者都會那麼說

84
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爸，我可愛得像蟲蟲耳朵？

85
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,818
才怪，你醜得像驢子屁股

86
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,486
妳看吧

87
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,780
我想靜一靜，拜託

88
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,244
（老莫小酒館）

89
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,458
老莫，你曾認為自己沒魅力嗎？

90
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,542
不曾

91
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,710
你呢，巴尼

92
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,420
一秒都不曾

93
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,089
是喔，幫幫我

94
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,851
每個老爸都覺得自己女兒最可愛吧

95
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,853
有個方法可證明了

96
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:57,231
哇，包保老香煙傑克拉森總裁

97
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,651
今年包保老獨家贊助
春田小小姐選美大賽

98
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:05,073
政府規定我們不得在電視打廣告

99
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,158
啊…

100
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,494
快樂似神仙

101
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,038
但他們禁止不了我們辦選美大賽

102
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:14,332
參賽資格是七到九歲女孩

103
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麗莎可以參賽

104
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你的女兒可獲得春田小小姐后冠

105
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由我們的主持人歡樂哥
小丑庫斯提頒發喔

106
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我在此為此活動或產品背書

107
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真美好

108
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我快樂得像個抽煙者…

109
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早上抽第一口煙那樣爽

110
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,059
那有可能是麗莎

111
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春田小小姐選美大賽
報名費只要250塊

112
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喔

113
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（達夫飛船之旅一人票）

114
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巴尼

115
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要花250跟我買飛船票嗎？

116
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好啊

117
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,789
你哪來那麼多錢？

118
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某科學家給的

119
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因為現在不准用動物做實驗了

120
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我這種人就賺翻了

121
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我好醜

122
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（牛奶）

123
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麗莎，妳聽了這首歌就開心了

124
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原來妳覺得我醜？

125
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,689
沒有…

126
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,442
妳是漂亮鴨鴨之一

127
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嘲笑醜小鴨的漂亮鴨

128
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,865
麗莎，若妳能實現一個願望
會是什麼呢？

129
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:33,035
遠離俗世，不再讓任何人看見我

130
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,414
妳第二願望
是參加春田小小姐選美大賽嗎？

131
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,249
你在說什麼？

132
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,209
我幫妳寄出報名表了

133
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我找不到夠大的照片

134
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就寄出妳那張滾軸溜冰鞋的好笑畫像

135
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你怎能這樣做？我不參加

136
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:53,139
荷馬，麗莎對長相已夠敏感了

137
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她最不需要這種事

138
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,684
但我認為她會贏

139
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,604
爸，你看過那些選美大賽佳麗嗎？

140
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:11,032
嘿，沒人比我寶貝女兒漂亮

141
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,576
你是用女兒奴眼光在看她

142
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,578
要是我能挖出別人眼球

143
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塞進我的眼窩裡

144
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我會的，但我真覺得她好美

145
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,959
我好感動喔

146
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寶貝，沒人會強迫妳做任何事

147
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,465
但妳知道妳爸爸…

148
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,425
幫妳報名的錢哪來的嗎？

149
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,635
不知

150
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:33,930
他賣了達夫飛船之旅的票

151
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,432
可是飛船之旅對他超重要

152
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,311
嘿，你好，飛船小子

153
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:46,234
自由自在，遨遊天際

154
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,860
我會參賽

155
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,656
（春田小小姐報到處）

156
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,324
有看到丁娜伊絲登嗎？

157
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,451
妳要大吃大喝，最好先拉乾淨

158
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,494
喔喔

159
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,875
安珀丹普西

160
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:06,879
她在同一週當上豬肉公主
和猶太小小姐

161
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她好美

162
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,008
等等，她要使出狐狸精絕招了

163
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,263
種睫毛

164
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,973
那不是非法的嘛

165
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,975
在巴拉奎不算

166
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,685
我不可能打敗這女孩

167
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:23,229
她是選美界的傑克尼克勞斯

168
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,816
她沒傑克尼克勞斯那麼迷人吧

169
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,615
我是說他們都是常勝軍，媽

170
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,368
對啊，我也是那意思

171
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,036
這樣好了

172
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,247
下午我帶妳去美容院

173
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,666
讓妳明白妳可以多美麗

174
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,002
然後我再教妳選美必勝招

175
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,712
把泳衣塞進屁股縫

176
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,423
牙齒抹凡士林，露出閃亮燦爛笑容

177
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,675
善用古老填充術

178
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,346
（轉頭整理頭髮）

179
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,974
好了沒？

180
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,684
才剛熱好身呢

181
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,771
這不會有危險嗎？

182
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,897
放心啦

183
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,566
我有做好防護

184
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,410
小子，看到麗莎出來

185
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,704
我要你讚爆她的外貌

186
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,540
她會一眼看穿我的

187
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,666
她不會

188
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,253
女人一聽到讚美
就會變成飢餓吸血怪物

189
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,881
一心想要更多…

190
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,885
只要讚美她們，就能得到很多回報

191
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,136
像什麼？

192
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,263
等你長大再跟你說

193
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,191
那是麗莎嗎？

194
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,151
我要打電話去天堂報案

195
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,653
有個天使失蹤了

196
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,988
你那位同學是誰？

197
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,741
等等，那是媽媽耶

198
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,451
我的老天

199
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,662
他們嘴真甜，謝謝

200
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:06,415
有兩個人今晚有好東西吃了喔

201
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,836
-嘿…
-喔…

202
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,588
爸，你還懂女人的什麼嗎？

203
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,798
沒了，就這樣

204
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,219
嘿 ，牙刷頭小子

205
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,262
你慢慢吃了一小時了

206
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,972
我好想知道

207
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,100
一個在雪糕店工作的人

208
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,018
怎麼保持如此曼妙身材的

209
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,603
我看錯你了

210
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,527
我說，踏、停…

211
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,237
轉、停、旋、踩、踩

212
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,906
不是，踩、停、轉
停、旋、踏、停

213
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,991
要爆血管了

214
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,287
獲勝的是…麗莎辛普森

215
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,498
好，擦去淚水

216
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:49,125
擁抱輸家

217
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,254
現在以勝利者之姿態走伸展台

218
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,840
喔

219
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,011
我沒救了

220
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,555
沒什麼啦

221
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:03,639
高踭鞋給我

222
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,268
腳跟、腳尖…

223
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,312
你真認為我能贏？

224
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,398
嘿，我開始覺得我能贏了耶

225
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,484
但其他女孩比我漂亮

226
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,570
麗莎，身為妳哥哥

227
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,989
要我說出這句，比登天還難

228
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,824
妳不醜

229
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,284
喔，巴特

230
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,203
（嬌留到旅社，現在沒老鼠了喔）

231
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,872
（春田小小姐選美大賽今晚舉行）

232
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,171
自力更生

233
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,672
自立自強

234
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,215
大口吸氣

235
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,051
盡享一切

236
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,345
我是安珀丹普西

237
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,223
我長大後，想當個甜姐兒

238
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,437
我是帕莎琪塔娜哈莎皮提倫

239
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,274
今晚我要以塔布拉鼓
演奏“麥克阿瑟公園”

240
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,652
我是說真的

241
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,447
讚啦，評審，這是你們的選美皇后

242
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,616
誰在你家便利店看店啊？

243
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,912
（你家便利店）

244
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,497
我叫麗莎辛普森

245
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,415
我想成為春田小小姐

246
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,959
才能讓我們的城市更美好

247
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,086
對，清理這臭地方

248
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,134
庫斯提，你早該到了

249
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,636
好啦，這是什麼活動？

250
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:25,596
共和黨籌款餐會？

251
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:26,806
你們看

252
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,265
嘿，看我們

253
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,809
許個願

254
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,185
做個夢

255
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:32,937
春田小小姐

256
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:36,148
會是哪一位？

257
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,191
我

258
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,611
那塊胸肉真難消化

259
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:45,741
我永遠不會再煮那道菜了

260
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,661
喔，不

261
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,455
（春田小小姐）

262
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,416
真是沒完沒了啊

263
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,878
掌聲歡迎…麗莎辛普森

264
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,798
-他們會和我一樣愛妳
-謝謝了，爸

265
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,925
（凡士林）

266
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:18,524
有人說愛國是老派，不時尚
太“梅爾文”

267
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,442
我要對那些人說…

268
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,695
喔，美麗的美國

269
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,364
遼闊的天空

270
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:29,201
金色的麥浪

271
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,578
一、二、三、四

272
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,247
好工作留在城市

273
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,083
沒日沒夜，做牛做馬

274
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:46,051
這是我最愛的選美大賽橋段，因為…

275
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:47,428
那怎麼說來？

276
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,515
讓我有機會瞭解女孩們的個性

277
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,392
親自瞭解

278
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:56,186
安珀，妳認為人權法案…

279
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,148
是好事還是壞事？

280
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,067
慢慢想，親愛的

281
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,653
好事

282
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,780
噢…

283
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,199
現在要公布第二名了

284
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,493
萬一獲勝者無法履行職責

285
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,456
千萬不要嘴硬說不會發生

286
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,167
因為我們都記得那個誰的事

287
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,336
拍…你們知道的

288
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,379
好，第二名是…

289
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:30,971
麗莎辛普森

290
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,431
那表示安珀丹普西…

291
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,725
是新任春田小小姐

292
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,442
“L”代表丟下輸家

293
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:47,947
“I”代表她將賺的所得

294
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:52,284
“T”代表她的補牙嘴

295
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,497
“T”代表她的補牙嘴

296
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,165
接下來…

297
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,209
席捲全國的新風潮

298
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,377
浪費食物

299
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,714
（牛奶）

300
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,385
但先來看看新任春田小小姐
安珀丹普西

301
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,305
參加丹麥超級連鎖店開幕典禮

302
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,431
史考特，大家都來湊熱鬧了

303
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,850
從市長的私生子到我們的達夫飛船

304
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,227
（商店開幕典禮，達夫啤酒）

305
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,895
嗨，給我開好嗎？

306
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,730
沒什麼大不了

307
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,656
喔，人性啊

308
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,742
開啟該店嚴重胎損尖刺路障

309
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,619
歡迎春田小小姐

310
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:40,916
（警告，別倒車，嚴重胎損）

311
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,461
天呀，那件禮服濕了就可惜了

312
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,090
她的權杖像根避雷針更危險吧

313
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,883
除非是塑膠製的

314
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,178
錯，金屬製的

315
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,097
各位觀眾，春田小小姐…

316
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,765
遭到雷擊了

317
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,269
醫生，安珀狀況如何？

318
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,895
喔，她不會有事

319
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:05,774
其實她已贏得加護病房小小姐選美了

320
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,405
恭喜，麗莎

321
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,532
妳是新任春田小小姐了

322
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,992
這是妳的權杖

323
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,368
拿不到

324
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,621
鬧妳的啦，拿去吧

325
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,081
拿不到

326
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,250
鬧妳的啦

327
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,212
我活該

328
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,383
（春田蠟像館）

329
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,551
（春田小姐）

330
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,679
那不像她的身體

331
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639
那曾是露絲博士的身體

332
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,017
她的頭被插在恐怖室展示中

333
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,647
嗨，男孩們

334
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,276
我好愛那嚼吹波糖走路姿態

335
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,278
搖曳生姿

336
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,491
身為春田小小姐，我很榮幸…

337
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,285
歡迎你們來到美國，機會之地

338
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,245
其實他們要被遣送回國喔

339
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,334
（春田堡）

340
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,461
現在送上春田堡最熱烈掌聲

341
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:08,670
歡迎鮑伯霍伯先生

342
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,047
市長叫什麼大名？

343
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,715
-昆比
-漂亮

344
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,220
哈囉，我是鮑伯…

345
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,472
“我來春田做什麼？”霍普

346
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,557
嘿，那個昆比市長如何？

347
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,017
不錯的高爾夫球玩家

348
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,437
他的小白球待在水裡的時間
比跳水冠軍選手還久

349
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,191
現在我想給你們看

350
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,151
若開戰了，你們在為什麼而戰

351
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,736
春田小小姐

352
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,198
她美翻了吧

353
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,991
春田小小姐

354
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,869
先是東尼藍道不克前來，現在又這樣

355
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,329
嘿，是怎樣？

356
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,376
我們要春田小姐

357
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,336
嘿，放我下去參加帆船展

358
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:50,838
（春田建城者慶典大遊行）

359
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,089
我要站在一包香煙上遊行？

360
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,676
我們認為妳是包保老完美代言人

361
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,594
這是新推廣方案之一

362
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:58,887
嗯…優雅

363
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,556
（天佑媽咪和爹地，包保老香煙）

364
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,560
麗莎，包保老今年諸事不順

365
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,104
很多抽我們產品的人都…

366
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,438
快死了

367
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:11,024
我們需要年輕抽煙客取代他們

368
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,153
我不想當香煙公司的代言人

369
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,780
但妳是年輕人的典範

370
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,199
我們想讓清涼麋鹿退役了

371
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,755
祝福你們，男孩們

372
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,550
-荷馬，他們是賣雪糕的
-我知道

373
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,969
（包保老二世，春田小小姐）

374
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,901
停下花車

375
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,237
拖什麼拖，快走？

376
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,407
我恨透了當大公司誘餌

377
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,244
從現在起

378
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,788
我要發聲狠嗆社會邪惡

379
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:07,998
從綁架狗狗

380
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,333
到香煙

381
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:15,422
（《春田日報》，麗莎發狠）

382
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,507
在我獻唱國歌之前

383
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,052
我想說大學美式足球…

384
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:23,680
嚴重剝奪教育與藝術所需經費

385
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,392
-真的嗎？
-打他們

386
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,520
快逃啊

387
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,361
（皇后對市長表示，你是書蟲們
在球場暴動中暴打的下一個）

388
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,947
各位，我們得讓麗莎辛普森走人

389
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,865
弄回安珀丹普西

390
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,992
但這位警察局長的光榮警衛

391
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,786
卻賴著不走

392
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,663
可以開這包薯片來吃吃嗎？

393
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,333
各位，我們的祈願被應許了

394
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,043
看看我們春田小小姐的…

395
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,670
選美大賽報名表

396
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,175
蘿絲，送一瓶香檳進來

397
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,761
還要薯片醬喔

398
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,598
麗莎辛普森不再是春田小小姐了

399
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,768
她的后冠在今早的典禮上遭收回

400
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,773
顯然放錯影片了

401
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,776
但看來是被廢選美皇后的父親

402
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,153
荷馬辛普森

403
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,739
填錯了選美大賽報名表

404
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,075
在“此處不得寫字”的格子裡

405
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,743
寫了“好喔”

406
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,788
都是我害妳當不成選美皇后了

407
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,039
妳一定恨透我了

408
00:21:31,164 --> 00:21:33,875
爸，記得你為什麼要我參賽嗎？

409
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,252
不記得，我醉了嗎？

410
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,254
可能，但重點是…

411
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,506
你要我懂得欣賞自己

412
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:40,799
現在我會了

413
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,551
-真的？
-嗯嗯

414
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:45,137
下回我再毀掉妳的人生
你會記住這檔事嗎？

415
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,555
一言為定

416
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:53,395
現在請觀賞
我獨家專訪教宗約翰保羅二世

417
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,440
我受夠了

418
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,984
我無法在這爛環境下工作了

419
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:02,362
誰想找我，我會在樓下的麥噹噹

420
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,448
叫週末班的來代班，我不管了