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辛普森一家
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欢迎莅临春田核电厂
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春田小学
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我没在教师休息室看到任何事
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注意安全
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《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片
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我不需要你的烂工作 雇主先生
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我赢了彩票
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谁还需要员工啊我也赢了彩票
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我们都赢了彩票
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你为什么不也赢一张
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州立彩票
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大家都能赢
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实际赢头彩几率
是三亿八千万分之一
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彩票
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专门骗穷人和笨蛋的
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啤酒才是答案
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我听说头奖是一亿三千万
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一亿三千万
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你说一亿三千万
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对
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你家便利商店
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好 这是你的彩票
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谢谢你撞倒我的商品
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请再来
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巴特 我需要明牌 你几岁
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生日呢
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是啊
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那莉萨的生日呢 什么
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你不知道自己妹妹的生日
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你算哪门子的哥哥啊
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穿好你的防弹衣 桑吉
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要再跑一趟银行了
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好吧 如果我死了
别跟我老婆上床
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我什么都不能保证
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你不会相信发生了什么事 玛琦
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准备好了吗
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我觉得我们可能会赢…
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彩票
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但是我们从来没有…
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我知道你很兴奋
但是冷静下来听我说
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去把你所有的钱拿来
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我每星期都跟发廊的女生
一起买彩票
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我们都买自己的生日
这就够刺激了
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你不明白 玛琦
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彩票是我灰暗生命中唯一的光芒
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彩票和你
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霍默 我们的手头很紧
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答应我你不会玩过头
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是的 彩票 我是说老婆
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彩票的新闻来了
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前面的低一点
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全州的人突然都得了彩票热
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春田市也不例外
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事实上 春田公共图书馆中
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每本雪莉杰克森的《乐透》
都被借光了
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当然这本书中并不包含
任何赢彩票的秘诀
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而是一个关于顺从致狂的惊悚故事
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但是已经有一个大赢家
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就是公立学校
能从其中获得一半的获利
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想想我们能用那笔钱买些什么
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解释韩战结局的历史课本
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没有那六进位的数学课本
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还有最高端的留校察看厅
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学生会被磁铁牢牢吸住
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磁铁 老是在说磁铁
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《春田购物者报》
彩票今天开奖》
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我这辈子从没这么确信过
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我会赢头奖
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霍默 几率是三亿八千万分之一
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更正 是三亿八千万分之五十
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你们要怎么花你们的份
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存到银行里
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捐给穷人
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小孩子哪懂怎么花钱
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你要拿来做什么 霍默
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霍默 你剪了头发还是什么吗
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看清楚 蓝尼
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我知道了
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你现在是全世界最巨大的人
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而且你还镀金了
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14K金
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滚吧 老板
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现在这里由我来管
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霍默大王万岁
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现在带大家到开奖现场
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希望你们拿着你们的彩票 我有
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要开始了 警长
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不 你打错电话了
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这里是91…2
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我们马上回来 小朋友们
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这也许就是我们离开这里的票
梅尔
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现在要开出第一个号码
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我有这么多张 一定输不了
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第一个号码是17
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如果中5个号码还是有钱拿
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第二个号码是…3
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我就知道我们不会赢
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那你怎么没跟我们说
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你为什么要保密
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如果你17岁 我们就发财了
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但是不 你非得要是10岁
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最后的号码是…49
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38…49
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老天啊 我赢了
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回顾今天的头条新闻
今天的州立彩票赢家是
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我 肯特·布拉克曼
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可以上一下我的照片吗
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就是这个
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其它的新闻…
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频道6新闻
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克里夫兰发生了一桩悲剧性灾难
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许多人丧生
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拜拜
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我们没赢到钱 但至少还拥有彼此
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狗死了
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爷爷 它还没死
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爸 狗还没死你就不该说它死了
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这样玩弄别人的情感很不好
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它死了啦 我去拿铲子
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它还没死 不过病得很厉害
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对啦 老头子痴呆了
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如果爷爷说它死了
那它一定还活着
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它还活着 它的尾巴还在摇
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那不能代表什么
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狗在死后好几个小时尾巴都还会摇
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我不想再谈这个了
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我们来聊点别的
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我要回家了
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春田兽医院
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退开
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退开
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医生 它走了
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我最恨工作的这部分
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你已经尽力了
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我爱动物
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我一辈子都在拯救它们
它们也不能跟我道谢
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鹦鹉可以 但是算了
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来看看这个小家伙怎么了
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看来你的狗得了胃扭转
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它需要开刀治疗
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否则就会死
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要花多少钱
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750美元
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天啊
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这个抉择并不容易
这不是笔小数目
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看来我们得讨论一下
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讨论什么 有什么好讨论的
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我们要讨论什么
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泰尼先生需要尼古丁口香糖
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我没办法不注意到我们要离开医院
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狗什么时候要开刀
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晚一点 我想先告诉你
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一个世界上最美好的地方
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叫做狗狗天堂
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在狗狗天堂里有好几座骨头山
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而且到处都有狗屁股可以闻
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所有最好的狗狗都在那里
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老叶勒 差不多8只莱西
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那有狗狗地狱吗
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当然有 如果没有地狱
就不会有天堂
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-那里有谁
-希特勒的狗
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还有尼克松的狗 叫什么来的
却斯特
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切克斯
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对 还有一只莱西也在那里
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最凶的那只 咬伤提米的
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等等
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这跟勇哥有关系吗
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宝贝 750美元不是小数目
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我们真的负担不起这个手术
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你要让它死掉
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我知道你很难过
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废话 我当然难过
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巴特 小心你的嘴
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你有 抱歉
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我们不会让狗死掉 就是这样
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可恶的杀狗…
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不会有事的 我们再帮它养只狗
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一只胃不会扭转的狗
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拜托啊
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很抱歉 但是我们付不起
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玛琦 叫它停
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好吧 我们想办法
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可恶的操控人心的狗
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伯恩斯先生 我需要借些钱
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请继续
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警卫
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我知道你是个好人
我的狗病得很严重
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请继续
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我想也许你…
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谢谢你的时间
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有什么能让一个人冒着失去工作
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和生命的风险来向我借钱
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00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,440
很多人爱狗 伯恩斯先生
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00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,734
胡扯 狗都是笨蛋
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00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:12,361
你想 斯密瑟斯 如果我到你家去
197
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,906
然后对着你的胯下直闻
滴了你满脸口水
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你会怎么说
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如果是你吗 老板
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没错 你会被绑起来 狗
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00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,915
犬类手术
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-不行
-什么
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00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,836
你不能自己动手术
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00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,713
但是玛琦 看起来很简单啊
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就像是切火鸡肉一样
206
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,974
也许你说得对 玛琦
207
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,022
我找到能付得起手术费的方法了
208
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:50,274
-太好了
-听到了吗 狗狗
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00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,818
-是什么 玛琦 保险诈骗吗
-不是
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恐怕我们都得做出一些牺牲
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霍默 你得有段时间不能喝啤酒
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00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:04,538
巴特 你现在开始去春田美发学院
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00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,290
剪免费的头发
214
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,375
没问题
215
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,960
我要停止每星期买彩票
216
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,755
我还找到了挪动食材经费的方法
217
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,424
炸鸡夜要改成内脏肉品夜
218
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,219
火腿要改成午餐肉 猪排晚餐…
219
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,137
改成鲢鱼晚餐
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鲢鱼 我根本不知道那是什么
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莉萨 我们恐怕不能
继续在超市买你的通用百科全书了
222
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:33,109
但是妈 下星期是第四集
哥白尼与象皮病
223
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,736
我们都得做些牺牲
224
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:39,365
玛吉的衣服得多穿一阵子
225
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:43,619
玛琦 我想到一个
不用牺牲啤酒的方法
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00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,456
基本上我们要成为
一个流浪杂耍家庭
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我觉得你没有想清楚
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好消息 丹尼尔森先生
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00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,677
我们治好了你的斗鸡
230
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,388
但是它再也不能打斗了
231
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,015
那是你以为的
它会再次打斗 而且会赢
232
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:09,937
血钳
233
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,106
勇哥
234
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,441
擦汗
235
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,235
不
236
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:17,945
不
237
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,865
过来光这里 孩子
238
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,200
过来
239
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,244
快来
240
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,746
好孩子
241
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,664
快来 快来
242
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,719
辛普森
243
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,349
勇哥 你还活着
244
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,477
你已经好了
245
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,688
像这种时候 我很庆幸自己
被牙医学校当掉了
246
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,191
两天后
247
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,150
可恶的鲢鱼晚餐
248
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,112
为什么它能吃肉 我们却不行
249
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:04,033
你才不会想吃它的东西
大部分都是猪鼻子和内脏
250
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,411
猪鼻子
251
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,871
我回来了
252
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:12,374
肯特·布拉克曼是
不会因为赢了彩票头奖
253
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,001
而放弃年薪50万的工作的人
254
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,337
我是记者
255
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:21,217
他有了全天下的钱
但有样东西是他也买不到的
256
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,426
什么
257
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,845
恐龙
258
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:30,559
当然我并非上周开奖的唯一受益人
公立学校也分了一杯羹
259
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:35,022
彩票公司送给春田小学
一个全新的板擦
260
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,524
一个板擦
261
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,567
我已习惯被政府出卖
262
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,694
我去过越南 我在那里待了三…
263
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:41,987
说到抽奖
264
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:45,908
以下是本周的4万元头奖号码
265
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,454
3－6－17－18－22－29
266
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,832
不 那些是我的号码
267
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,167
如果不是因为那条狗 我就赢了
268
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,797
同学们 明天要交的作业是
269
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,257
写一份哥白尼的报告
270
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,927
快啊 酒鬼
271
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,137
你想要25美分 不是吗
272
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,222
继续唱啊
273
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,267
水牛姑娘 今晚要不要出来
274
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,935
今晚要不要出来
275
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,061
今晚要不要出来
276
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,105
那个糟老头是谁
277
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,690
在他的狗生病之前
278
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,484
那个糟老头本来是我最好的顾客
279
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,528
…月光下
280
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,072
唱啊 宝贝
281
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,156
去捡吧 兄弟
282
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,533
我的硬币
283
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,702
春田美发学院
284
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,245
我把这里剪整齐
285
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,000
拉斯维尔老师 我又搞砸了
286
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,296
我知道你听不懂
287
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,548
但是你是条烂狗 我恨你
288
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,675
现在别来
289
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:50,806
你看不出我在读在公交站找到的
哥白尼的三流传记吗
290
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,932
笨狗
291
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,358
-霍默 你把栅栏关上了吗
-对
292
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,115
你是说今晚啊
293
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:09,825
狗会跑掉的
294
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,785
巴特 去把栅栏关上
295
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,289
莉萨 去把栅栏关上
296
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,375
玛吉 去把栅栏关上
297
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,062
过来 狗狗
298
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,023
来啊 勇哥
299
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,235
都是我的错
300
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,279
我骂它笨狗
301
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,990
它跑走了 永远也不会回来
302
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,659
等等 它在那里
303
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,911
不是 那是马
304
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,173
春田河
305
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,142
史瓦兹维德郡
306
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:40,624
迈克尔·杰克逊高速公路
307
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,337
春田市收容所
308
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,089
你找到照片了吗
309
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:50,092
都是我不想曝光的照片
310
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,348
天啊
311
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,892
资源回收
312
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,812
是我们给大自然
一个大大的拥抱的方法
313
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,064
是的 听起来的确很有趣
314
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:09,194
我等不及要像一只快饿死的浣熊般
去翻我的垃圾
315
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,739
放狗
316
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,742
邻居 看来你穿了慢跑鞋
317
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,243
这样很好
318
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,005
-断腿仔怎么了
-它老了 老板
319
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,174
它从60年代末期就在这了
320
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,969
对 我永远忘不了
它逮到第一个嬉皮的那天
321
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,222
那个年轻人并不认为那样很时髦
322
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,184
春田收容所
323
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,561
我要找一只攻击犬
324
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,148
一只喜欢人肉咸甜的味道的狗
325
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:48,776
就是它了
326
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,904
坚挺 快速 厚实 自豪的屁股
327
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:53,864
让我想起我自己
328
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:54,865
你今天看到我的尸体了吗
329
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,493
走失狗 请电
KLS－3457
330
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,455
最后一张
331
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,839
身为攻击狗
332
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,300
你的工作是中和侵入者
333
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,886
想要买饼干吗 想要买饼干吗
334
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:21,558
如果那是真的女童军
我就会被烦到了
335
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:25,813
我知道你的感受
我也失去了我的狗
336
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,731
它就在这里面某处
337
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:34,988
这一部电影会将你
转换成一个凶残恶毒的杀手
338
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,115
请享用
339
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,796
可怜的勇哥
340
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,674
我开始认为我再也见不到它了
341
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,218
那是它的狗盆
342
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,554
和它的狗绳
343
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,682
它就在那里尿尿在地毯上
344
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,311
霍默 控制一下自己
345
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,565
就算它死了也用不着哭
346
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,733
还记得狗狗天堂吗
347
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:12,943
玛琦
348
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,987
根本没有那种地方
349
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,364
或是…
350
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,533
用另一种方法说…
351
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,493
有的
352
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:26,248
我不会放弃的 不管是不是
要敲遍这个烂地方的每一扇门
353
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,041
我要找回我的狗
354
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,127
我就坐在这里看着电视
355
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,920
咬咬啊
356
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,673
咬咬啊
357
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,430
太好了
358
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,143
你好 我是肯特·布拉克曼
359
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,645
不好意思 我的狗不见了
360
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,481
我猜你是要我帮你买只新的
361
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,025
自从我赢了头奖以后
362
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,985
每个人都来找肯特·布拉克曼
363
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,820
什么流浪汉啦 弱势者啦
364
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,780
很抱歉 先生
365
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,783
老爷 你的羊驼
刚刚咬了泰德·肯尼迪
366
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:02,910
很好
367
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,877
很抱歉来打扰你的回春疗程 老板
368
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,087
但是门口有个可爱的小男生
369
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,505
放狗
370
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,511
勇哥 是你
371
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,023
怎么了 狗狗 你不认识我了吗
372
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,358
我是你的好朋友
373
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,404
我爱你 狗狗
374
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,267
再让我摸摸它
375
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,477
你已经摸了10分钟了
376
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,312
我知道 我想再摸一次
377
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,897
你可以摸猫
378
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,899
猫 摸它干嘛
379
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,359
乖狗狗勇哥
380
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,485
乖狗狗
381
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,946
这绝对不会再发生了
你要什么都可以
382
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,824
本集录制期间并无狗狗被伤害
383
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:26,618
你可以睡我床上 可以咬我的拖鞋
384
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,911
对啊 它是乖狗狗
385
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,903
字幕翻译：侯敏生