1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,973 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,394 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,464 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,893 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,270 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,380 (growling) 14 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,103 I am not cleaning that. 15 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,271 Ah, who am I kidding? 16 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,944 Now, Maggie... 17 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,571 when you grow up 18 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,448 you can suck your pacifier all you want. 19 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,828 (humming) 20 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:04,791 (loud burp) 21 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,292 Extra mustard for Bart's 22 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,669 sliced diagonally, not length-wise. 23 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,421 Light mayo for Lisa, cut off the crust. 24 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,215 Double bologna for Homer-- 25 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,466 (overlapping chatter) 26 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,634 Where's my lucky red cap-- 27 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,427 Mom, I hate those pimento things-- 28 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,681 Marge, I split my pants again. 29 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,599 Ooh! Can I have two sandwiches today? 30 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,477 -Make them bologna-- -Mom, I can't eat those-- 31 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,522 One at a time! One at a time! 32 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,692 -Double bologna! -No pimentos! 33 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,361 -Don't forget to make it-- -Mom, where's my-- 34 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,655 That's enough! 35 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,241 There you go, Lisa-- no pimentos. 36 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,827 Bart, your hat's where you left it-- behind the toilet. 37 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,704 Homer, I'll sew your pants, but I'm out of bologna. 38 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:43,746 -Thanks, Mom. -Thanks, Mom. 39 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,998 D'oh! 40 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,291 -(cat yowling) -Videos to return 41 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,626 grocery list, flea dip for the cat 42 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:49,794 Homer's dry cleaning... 43 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,379 I think that's everything. 44 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:54,174 Marge, can you take my ball to Nick's today? 45 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,384 A bottle cap got lodged in the finger hole. 46 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,219 Homer, I'm running late as it is. 47 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,138 Can't you just use one of the balls at the alley? 48 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,140 (groaning) Ohh, alley balls? 49 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,224 All right. Don't whine. 50 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:07,061 Just put it in my left hand. 51 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,273 Kids, hurry up or you're going to miss your bus. 52 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,858 -No way. -Never happen. 53 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,738 Well, I'll be damned. 54 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:17,739 (groaning) 55 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,245 Mom, bart's making faces at me. 56 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,622 It's a nervous twitch, 57 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,081 and I'm a little sensitive about it 58 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,167 if you don't mind. 59 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,002 Mom, he's doing it again! 60 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,712 Bart, quit it. Quit it! 61 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,339 Hey, quit it, quit it, quit it. 62 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,506 Mom! 63 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,178 (monster-like voice) Get... out! 64 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,638 (car wheels squeal) 65 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,434 Fruit leather... 66 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,354 tree fresh imitation orange drink... 67 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,773 Krusty brand duck sausage pizza... 68 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,947 Sorry lady, you've got the wrong Nick's. 69 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,740 You want Nick's on the other side of town. 70 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:03,701 I don't know what Nicky's telling you. 71 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,828 I haven't flushed a ball in years. 72 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,459 (jackhammer pounding) 73 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,836 MAN: Oh, this miserable stress headache. 74 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,673 Feels like there's a rat in my brain! 75 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,676 DEEJAY 1: It's time for another Bill and Marty 76 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,928 classic crank call. 77 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:22,971 DEEJAY 2: Hello, is this Mr. Justin Sherman? 78 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,472 SHERMAN: Yes. 79 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,392 DEEJAY 2: Sir, your wife is dead. 80 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,102 SHERMAN: Oh, God, no! 81 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,729 DEEJAY 2: (snickering) That's right. 82 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,481 She just walked through a plate glass window. 83 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,108 There's blood everywhere. 84 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,694 SHERMAN: But I just talked to her. 85 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,447 (deejays laughing) 86 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,199 (screams) 87 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,451 (bus horn honking) 88 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,619 Bart's making faces. 89 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,079 Where's my lucky red cap? 90 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,415 -Alley balls? -Your wife is dead. 91 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:51,457 I haven't flushed a ball in years. 92 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,458 (jackhammer pounding) 93 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,882 Noooo! 94 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,230 Look, lady, this better be good. 95 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,773 (lion's roar) 96 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,738 This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky. 97 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,031 We've got big problems 98 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,991 on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people. 99 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,910 Traffic going waaay back in both directions. 100 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,079 And look out at the corner of 14th and Elm 101 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,539 'cause I just dropped my bagel. 102 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,752 She's locked in the car and refuses to move. 103 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,086 Did you flash your lights? 104 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,880 Yes. 105 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,965 Well, I'm fresh out of ideas. 106 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,091 All right! 107 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,886 A chance to catch some rays. 108 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,929 (honking horn) 109 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,348 Come on! Come on! 110 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,808 I got a body in the trunk. 111 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,019 (honking horn) 112 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,855 Mr. Genie, stop fiddling with the buttons. 113 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,317 Oh! Now you've gotten chocolate all over everything! 114 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,943 This is Kent Brockman 115 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,029 reporting live from Arnie Pie's traffic copter 116 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,990 but I can assure you, this is no mere morning traffic report. 117 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:06,991 Hey! 118 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,534 Face the facts Arnie. 119 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,578 An overworked and under-appreciated housewife 120 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,039 has snapped and parked her car on the bridge, 121 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,540 refusing to budge. 122 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,585 This reporter is now going to be lowered down 123 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,754 in the Channel 6 sky harness for an exclusive interview. 124 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:21,964 Huh? 125 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,386 Ow! Hey! 126 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,137 Ow! 127 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,430 (Homer laughs) 128 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,599 Hey sweetheart, what's the matter? 129 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,810 Not getting enough of the good stuff at home? 130 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:37,230 D'oh! 131 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,195 (indistinct chatter) 132 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:45,279 Let me through. Let me through. 133 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:46,280 I'm her husband. 134 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,199 That explains a lot. 135 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,283 (chuckling) 136 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,493 (sighing) 137 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,245 Try to talk her out of there 138 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:54,080 but don't put your lips on it or anything. 139 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,081 Hello. 140 00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,791 Hello! 141 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:57,834 Is this thing on? 142 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,835 Hello?! 143 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,086 Homer, is that you? 144 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,421 What should I say? 145 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,339 Well how about, "Yes, it's me"? 146 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,465 Yes, it's me. 147 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,342 Tell her you love her. 148 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,844 I love you very much. 149 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,262 CROWD: Awww. 150 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,514 And, uh... 151 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,808 later tonight, I think you and I should, uh... 152 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,851 snuggle? 153 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,019 (laughing) 154 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,229 Ha, ha! 155 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,898 Uh, why don't you just wrap it up? 156 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,360 Look, Marge, I can tell something's bothering you 157 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,070 but if you come out of that car 158 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,530 I promise to do whatever it takes 159 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,865 to make it better. 160 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,908 Please, honey? 161 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,618 Okay. 162 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,001 Cuff her, boys! 163 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,636 Off the record, ma'am, all the gals on the force 164 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,805 -knew just how you felt. -That's nice. 165 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,765 Do you think you could loosen my cuffs? 166 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:55,850 No. 167 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,685 Don't you worry, Mr. Mayor. 168 00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,521 This little bird'll be cracking rocks by the end of the week. 169 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,149 Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go! 170 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,692 But she broke the law. 171 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,444 Thanks for the civics lesson. 172 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,696 Now listen to me. If Marge Simpson goes to jail, 173 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,323 I can kiss the chick vote good-bye 174 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:13,493 and if I go down, you're gonna break my fall! 175 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,119 Word to the wise, Quimby. 176 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,954 Don't write checks your butt can't cash. 177 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,707 Hear me loud and clear Wiggum, you bite me, I'll bite back. 178 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,793 You talk the talk, Quimby, but do you walk the walk? 179 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,214 I hereby declare today to be Marge Simpson Day 180 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,216 in the city of Springfield. 181 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,175 (cheering) 182 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,055 They're like trained seals-- toss 'em a fish 183 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,640 and watch 'em slap their fins together. 184 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:42,897 Well, all's well that ends well. 185 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,066 Good night, Marge. 186 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,817 (snoring) 187 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,819 (groans) 188 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,197 MAN: Many years ago the Spanish explorers 189 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,823 discovered a little piece of heaven 190 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,243 nestled in the Springfield mountains. 191 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,370 They called it Rancho Relaxo 192 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,372 and so do we. 193 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,999 Today, it's Springfield's only two-star health spa. 194 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,334 Swim, play tennis, 195 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,295 or just sit and stare at the walls. 196 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,465 At Rancho Relaxo, you're the boss. 197 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,261 Remember, you can't spell "Relaxo" without relax. 198 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:18,182 -Homer? -(groans) 199 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,725 -Homer! -What? 200 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,143 I need a vacation. 201 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,689 What?! But, Marge, we just had a vacation. 202 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,232 Remember Mystic Caverns? 203 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,025 (chuckles) 204 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,152 I need to unwind. 205 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,363 I know you do, Marge, 206 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,323 but come on, you know what our vacations are like-- 207 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,950 those three monsters in the back seat 208 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,578 "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 209 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,746 And let's face it, I'm no day at the beach either. 210 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,374 "Marge, can I have another sandwich? 211 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,251 Marge, can I have another sandwich?" 212 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,003 No, I mean a vacation by myself. 213 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,379 What?! 214 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:50,047 You mean we're getting a divorce? 215 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549 Marge, I can change. 216 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,842 No, Homie, no. 217 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,093 I still love you. 218 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,470 A lot of couples take separate vacations. 219 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,389 Well, okay... 220 00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,640 but you have to swear you're coming back. 221 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,267 I swear. 222 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,644 All right, then. 223 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:07,398 (snoring) 224 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,693 MARGE: Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away. 225 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,361 -Don't worry yourself. -Uh-huh. 226 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,530 We've got six months of maternity leave 227 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,781 we're never gonna use anyway. 228 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,366 Homer, can you bring Maggie out? 229 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,708 Wish I'd thought of that. 230 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,543 (grunting) 231 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,880 She's starting to give. 232 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,798 Homer! If Maggie 233 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,216 really doesn't want to leave the house 234 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,426 maybe she should just stay with you. 235 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,969 Are you sure that's wise? 236 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,096 Uh-huh. He'll probably trade her 237 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,765 for a beer and a nudie magazine. 238 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,600 (chuckling) 239 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,227 For your information, I can take care of my-- 240 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,812 (screams) 241 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,939 See? Got her on the first bounce. 242 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,567 MAN (on PA): All aboard for Shelbyville, Badwater, 243 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,279 Kettlestone Testing Grounds, and Rancho Relaxo. 244 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,822 Good-bye, Homie. 245 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,033 Good-bye? Where's my clean underwear? 246 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,159 Check the dryer. 247 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,452 How often should I change Maggie? 248 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:02,995 Whenever she needs it. 249 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,831 Marge, Marge, how do I use the pressure cooker? 250 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,791 Don't! 251 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,173 ♪♪ (relaxing) 252 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,134 MAN: This is Koma-- W-K-O-M-A. 253 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,928 Restful, easy listening. 254 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,388 Coming up next, 255 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,724 a super set of songs about clouds. 256 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,267 (chomping) 257 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,977 (metallic clunking) 258 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,062 Hmm? 259 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,483 Hello, Maggie. 260 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,069 Sorry, honey. 261 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,071 Mommy went crazy 262 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,657 and went far, far away. 263 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,368 So it's going to be just you and me for a while. 264 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,286 Just you and me. 265 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,708 Kids, you haven't touched your tongue sandwiches. 266 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,292 Do you need something to drink? 267 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,003 We've got Clamato, Mr. Pibb, and soy milk. 268 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,088 That's all right. 269 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,131 (yawns) 270 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,341 I think I'll just hit the hay. 271 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,135 It's 12:30 in the afternoon. 272 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,428 I'm aware of the time. 273 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,805 Lisa, you'll sleep in my bed. 274 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,807 Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty. 275 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,684 -In your bed? -Uh-huh. 276 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,270 And I should warn you, I'm told I snore. 277 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:10,521 (chuckling) 278 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:13,315 Ooh, Divorce Court is on in 15 minutes! 279 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235 I'm scared, Lisa. 280 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,112 You think you know fear? 281 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,989 Well, I've seen them naked. 282 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:20,990 (screams) 283 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,871 Oh, hello, 284 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,497 and welcome to Rancho Relaxo. 285 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,959 I'm Troy McClure. 286 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,086 You might remember me from such films as 287 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,629 "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die," 288 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,673 and "Gladys, the Groovy Mule" 289 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,593 but today you'll see me in my greatest role-- 290 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:45,097 your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo. 291 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,016 Our tour starts in your very own room 292 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:50,227 where Relaxo-Vision offers you the latest Hollywood hits 293 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,979 and after midnight 294 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:55,858 the finest "R" rated movies Europe has to offer. 295 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,068 Ooh-la-la! 296 00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,403 Today's selections are: 297 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:05,075 (male voice inserted) 298 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,077 Chef Rodrigo, what are you up to? 299 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,746 Taste for yourself, Troy. 300 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,914 Mm-mm-mmm! 301 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,457 That can't be good for me. 302 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,042 It tastes too good. 303 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,585 That's where you're wrong, Troy. 304 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:18,923 This whole pot is only 14 calories. 305 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,508 (moaning) 306 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,051 Oh, Gregory... 307 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,303 where have you been all my life? 308 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:25,471 (laughs) 309 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,765 -Feeling tense? -Uh-huh. 310 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,851 Then just push nine on your phone, 311 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,896 then the pound sign, then 4-8-3. 312 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,231 We'll do the rest. 313 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,609 (moans) 314 00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,152 HOMER: Come on, Maggie. 315 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,111 Nummy-nummy-num. 316 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:48,118 Mmm-mm! 317 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,371 Mmm. Strained peas. 318 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,872 (to tune of "Rule Brittania") 319 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,415 ♪ Shakespeare's fried chicken ♪ 320 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,334 ♪ Come gorge yourself today... ♪ 321 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,212 (grunting) 322 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,925 ♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, la, la, la... ♪ 323 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,176 (growling) 324 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,636 (yelling) 325 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,513 D'oh! Let go! 326 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,431 Mmmmm... 327 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,558 Ohh... ahh... 328 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,768 Marge, it's times like this 329 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,188 I'm glad I flunked out of that Mexican med school. 330 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,648 Hi, Barney. 331 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,358 Thanks for keeping me company. 332 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,359 No problem. 333 00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:21,944 Well, well... 334 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,196 if it isn't little Bart. 335 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,073 Remember your Uncle Barney? 336 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,200 Hey, Homer, let me hold him. 337 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,411 All right, but just be careful. 338 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:34,206 Whoa! Someone smells stinky. 339 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,207 (sniffs) 340 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,292 Oh, it's me. 341 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,378 Bart, you really shouldn't be looking 342 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,171 through other people's things. 343 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,549 Find anything good? 344 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,467 I said it before, and I'll say it again. 345 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,552 Ay, caramba! 346 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,722 Hey, Lis, bang, bang! 347 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,806 Aw, Bart... 348 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,391 that's a blackhead gun! 349 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,434 Eww! 350 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,480 Best McGyver ever. 351 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,149 Mm-hmm. 352 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,861 Richard Dean Anderson will be in my dreams tonight. 353 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:07,823 (loud, obnoxious snoring) 354 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,580 (shuddering groans) 355 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,961 (sighs) 356 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,172 HOMER: ♪ Go to sleep ♪ 357 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,341 ♪ And good night ♪ 358 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,553 ♪ La-da-da-da, da-da-da ♪ 359 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,513 ♪ Dee-dee-dee ♪ 360 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,933 ♪ Dee-dee-dee ♪ 361 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:39,021 ♪ May your Christmas days be nice ♪ 362 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,565 Good night, my little pork chop. 363 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,330 (Barney snoring) 364 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,586 (belches) 365 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,902 Oh, Maggie? 366 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,863 Time for your 9:00 a.m. feeding. 367 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,073 Heh, heh, heh. 368 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:35,369 (screams) 369 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:37,955 Maggie? 370 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:39,289 Maggie? 371 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,917 Maggie?! 372 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,711 (snoring) 373 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,920 Oh... hoo... 374 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,755 (grunting) 375 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,257 Maggie! 376 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,383 Oh, man. 377 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:50,926 You want a bad night? 378 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,761 Try sleeping on one of these. 379 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,138 Barney, I've lost the baby. 380 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,473 It's the worst thing I've ever done. 381 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,766 Don't worry. Don't worry. 382 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,226 You know what I'm gonna do? 383 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,978 I'm gonna make you an omelet. 384 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:01,979 Just help me look. 385 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,772 Are you sure? 386 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,691 I make them with two kinds of cheese. 387 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,067 -C'mon! -Whoa! 388 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,486 Hey, Homer, I think I've got her. 389 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,487 (grunting) 390 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,989 Come on! 391 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,616 Barney, you're gonna pull her arm off! 392 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,410 The sooner I get her out, 393 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,454 the sooner we can have omelets. 394 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,413 (grunts) 395 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,014 Hmm, so, what's the verdict? 396 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,599 Oh, dear God. 397 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,934 I can't even put a bag over my head. 398 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,603 Yes, you can. 399 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,649 Hello, I'd like the department of missing babies. 400 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,859 MAN: Please hold. 401 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:49,985 ♪ Baby, come back ♪ 402 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,487 ♪ Listen, baby ♪ 403 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,490 ♪ You can blame it all on me ♪ 404 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,408 ♪ I was wrong ♪ 405 00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,287 ♪ And I just can't live without you ♪ 406 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,872 (Marge reading) 407 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,920 Hmm, I guess I've done everything. 408 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:14,051 By now you've seen what Rancho Relaxo has to offer. 409 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,053 Uh-huh. 410 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,347 But remember, we can't tell you how to have a good time. 411 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,183 -You have to tell us. -Oh. 412 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,436 As I said to Delores Montenegro in "Calling All Quakers"... 413 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,438 "Have it your way, baby." 414 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,774 ♪♪ (corny theme) 415 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,195 Hello, room service? 416 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,614 This is Marge Simpson. 417 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,784 I'd like a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream 418 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,828 and some chocolate chip cheesecake 419 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,248 and a bottle of tequila. 420 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,959 Let's get out of here, Thelma. 421 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,293 Okay, Louise. 422 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:53,715 (long, deep sigh) 423 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,935 What do you want? 424 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,728 I came to see the kids. 425 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:07,896 Wait here... 426 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,982 and don't steal any light bulbs. 427 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,650 Hmm... 428 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:12,985 BOTH: Dad! 429 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,695 Hey, kids. 430 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,406 You haven't seen Maggie around anyplace, have you? 431 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,283 BOTH: Mm-mm. 432 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,869 Oh... well, I got to go. 433 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,288 (door closes) 434 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,039 PATTY: Come on, kids. 435 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,457 It's time to rub Aunt Patty's feet. 436 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:30,127 (shuddering groans) 437 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,007 (bad British accent) Hello, Gov'nor. 438 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,800 Lube job while you wait? 439 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:37,968 Don't touch me. 440 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,474 (sobbing) 441 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,642 (phone rings) 442 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,519 -Yello. -Hi, Homie. 443 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,396 I feel much better. 444 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,024 Listen, Marge, uh... 445 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,234 how would you feel if I told you the dog ran away? 446 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,236 Homer, that's awful. 447 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,322 Oh. Well, I got good news for you. 448 00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,948 The dog didn't run away. 449 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,283 Well, good. 450 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,951 I'm coming home, honey. 451 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,703 You can pick me up at the train station in an hour, 452 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,247 and bring the kids. Bye. 453 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,499 D'oh! 454 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,084 Please, don't jump. 455 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,670 I know you're going through some tough times 456 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,715 but you have your whole life ahead of you. 457 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,470 Well, Marge... Maggie was very young. 458 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,972 It's not like we got so attached to her. 459 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,057 No. 460 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,476 Marge, isn't life funny? 461 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,186 One day, they're babies, 462 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,021 the next thing you know, they're off on their own. 463 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,690 (doorbell rings) 464 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,943 Are you the man who reported the lost baby? 465 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,611 -Yes. -Can you describe her? 466 00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,780 Uh, she's small... 467 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:40,948 she's a girl... 468 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,950 -Bingo! -Oh, Maggie! 469 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,743 Not so fast. 470 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,828 You're wanted on three counts of criminal neglect. 471 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:47,996 You found my baby! 472 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,749 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! 473 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,626 (embarrassed chuckling) Schucks. 474 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,171 Just don't do it again, you big lug. 475 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,090 (grunting) 476 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,217 You're not going anywhere. 477 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:11,228 (grunting) 478 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,659 Hi! Did you miss me? 479 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,286 (overlapping dialog) 480 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:30,289 HOMER: Never leave again! Never leave again! 481 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,415 Never leave again. 482 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,292 I missed you too. 483 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,002 MARGE: And from now on, I hope you'll help me out 484 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:36,420 a little more than you used to. 485 00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:37,796 You got it, sweetheart. 486 00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:39,506 You have enough blanket, there? 487 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,758 Well, I could use a little more. 488 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,886 And sometimes, I want a little time to myself 489 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:45,971 and I expect you to help-- 490 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,347 BART: Mom... 491 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:48,640 I think I speak 492 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,225 for everyone in this bed 493 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,811 when I say you have nothing to worry about. 494 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:53,979 Now, let's just try and get 495 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,188 a little shut-eye. Okay? 496 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,940 (all sighing) 497 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,075 ♪♪ 498 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:50,994 Shh! 499 00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:57,292 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.