1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,297
辛普森一家

2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:07,799
<i>欢迎莅临春田核电厂</i>

3
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,512
<i>春田小学</i>

4
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:18,476
<i>我再也不会调皮了</i>

5
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,943
<i>注意安全</i>

6
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,154
<i>《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片</i>

7
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,791
<i>请享用派对点心</i>

8
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,586
-“开胃小菜”
-霍默你答应过我的

9
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,255
我答应你不偷吃 哪可能 骗人

10
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,217
霍默 我拜托你啦
我们家没办过派对

11
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这次我们要回请以前邀请过
我们的朋友

12
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没办过派对？ 那次狂欢不是

13
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开了香槟请了乐师 还有牧师
一大票人吗

14
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,227
那次是我们婚礼啦

15
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,646
孩子们该上床了

16
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,524
可是妈 我想听成熟大人拌嘴

17
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对啊 睡觉又不好玩

18
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,695
儿子啊 等你大点就懂了

19
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:59,869
啊 宝贝

20
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,663
人来了

21
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,039
-东西都准备好了吗
-我样子没问题吧

22
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,582
-家里玻璃杯够吗
-恶作剧冰块数量够吗

23
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,793
-霍默 去放张唱片
-你刚说来访朋友叫什么名字

24
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,128
小鬼们快滚

25
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,422
-你好 霍默
-请进

26
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,258
-你今天打扮得好美
-玛琦 你真是美呆了

27
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,718
还有你们家 真是布置得…随便啦

28
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,971
各位 可以让我负责吧台吗

29
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,973
我是调酒博士

30
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幼稚鬼

31
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霍默 要尝尝我调的
耕耘者鸡尾酒吗

32
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,980
好啊 用我的钱买的

33
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,320
法兰德斯 下次记得加点酒

34
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,780
恰恰相反 辛普森

35
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,158
里头我加了三杯兰姆酒
一小杯波本酒

36
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,494
还有少许黑醋粟酒

37
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真的吗 是有种微醺感啦

38
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,417
还有点大舌头

39
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,795
-你没骗我 再来一杯
-霍默 少喝点

40
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,672
还记得去年在温菲尔德家的派对

41
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,425
-你给人家吐在洗衣篮里
-不记得

42
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,809
两位是霍默小姨子对吧

43
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:10,064
我有印象 但不记得你们这么美

44
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,483
嘿

45
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,197
那是新式防狼喷雾吗 真的很痛

46
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,365
华头医生

47
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,619
-喜欢这派对吗
-老实说 不喜欢

48
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,830
有人在这种新潮冰块里

49
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,832
放了假苍蝇

50
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,544
我放的啦 你上当了

51
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,297
霍默 这种新潮冰块

52
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,007
往往是用高毒性化学物质制成的

53
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,843
相形之下 真苍蝇还比它卫生

54
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,304
瞧你那表情 真是绝

55
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,976
<i>要命 这派对好烂</i>

56
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,895
巴特 过来

57
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,022
-怎样
-你这小鬼

58
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,899
-你是小鬼 对吧
-是的 爸

59
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,485
巴特 表演一下你的招牌

60
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,779
-什么招牌
-就你最拿手的

61
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,823
-什么啦
-去睡觉

62
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,533
各位

63
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:06,537
你们看 我是全世界最搞笑的人

64
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,749
霍默 你真行

65
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,592
<i>5美元钞票</i>

66
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:27,475
多年来我一直想告诉大家

67
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,644
但一直提不起勇气

68
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,146
不知道你们知不知道 我太太
和你太太是朋友

69
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:35,275
-我们三小时前才认识的
-你烂死了

70
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:40,488
你们整个烂部门都烂透了 我不干了

71
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,032
-别辞职
-好吧

72
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:51,040
拿把花生给我

73
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,126
-玛德
-好

74
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,502
不是那种花生

75
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,463
-下头那种
-好

76
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,140
谢谢你们的招待 我很尽兴

77
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,975
我先生失态了

78
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:13,146
如果不想他噎死 最好让他
睡觉脸朝上

79
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,106
我会注意 谢谢你华头医生

80
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,817
-谢谢大家前来
-别忘了 我是说如果

81
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:27,577
这辈子没这么丢脸过

82
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,120
怎么了 你干了什么事

83
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:41,924
玛琦

84
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,636
-过来
-要上哪去

85
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,265
我不想孩子们听到

86
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,226
小时候 我很讨厌爸妈吵架

87
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,062
他们又躲到车上去吵架了

88
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,647
每次听到这首歌我就发毛

89
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,777
你记得昨晚派对你的表现吗

90
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,320
我的表现？

91
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,906
我记得说过“我要脱掉湿衣服”

92
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,240
“喝一杯马丁尼酒”

93
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,785
-真会说
-谢谢

94
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,328
天啊 酒里有苍蝇

95
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,871
-我放的
-你放的？

96
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,414
恶作剧故意放的

97
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,084
-太好笑了
-霍默风格

98
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,628
我宣布这是本季最即兴笑话

99
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,519
<i>尽情吃喝享乐</i>

100
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,687
霍默？

101
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:40,233
我应该还算是有耐心 包容的女性

102
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,986
不管你再怎么踩我底线我还是爱你

103
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,448
但昨晚 你不只踩了底线

104
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,493
-你还给我吐在上面
-不好意思 亲爱的

105
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,370
可以不当回事 上教堂去吗

106
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,996
今天我要一个人去教堂

107
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,165
你给我待这好好跟巴特解释

108
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,210
-为什么让他终生有创伤
-我没有

109
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,047
你是说心里头吗

110
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,924
昨晚的事

111
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,468
你可能发现老爸有点怪怪的

112
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,513
-你可能有点不解
-我懂啊 你喝高了

113
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,224
我承认 我没节制

114
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:17,019
很抱歉 希望你不会因此看不起老爸

115
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,231
爸 我对你态度都没变

116
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,902
在说明下周讲道内容前

117
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:28,614
有件事要宣布 可以在教堂

118
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,116
新闻栏去拿小册子

119
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,077
包括《圣经解谜》 《撒旦的错误》

120
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:34,954
《上帝的讯息》 《撒旦错误续集》

121
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,332
还有青少年读物《地狱酷刑不好玩》

122
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,294
玛琦 玛琦

123
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,340
不好意思 上帝和我也压不过

124
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,259
霍默·辛普森的脚步声

125
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,429
我们不妨等他坐好吧

126
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,222
-抱歉牧师
-请坐 霍默

127
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,850
师娘跟我下周末要在

128
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,395
鲶鱼湖办第三届婚姻咨询

129
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,272
这个心理咨询

130
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,858
是为有婚姻危机的夫妻

131
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,235
或想调整关系的伴侣所开办

132
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,697
有意参加的伴侣请至大厅报名

133
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:10,865
布道结束就开始接受报名

134
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,994
辛普森夫妻也要参加吗

135
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,621
<i>婚姻咨询报名处</i>

136
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,582
很有吸引力呢 很棒的想法

137
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,585
玛琦 你做什么 你疯了不成

138
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,962
放手 放回去

139
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,839
-我们会去的
-住手

140
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,929
婚姻假期周末我来了

141
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,599
-这下你愿意去了
-可是在鲶鱼湖办的

142
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:41,604
一定有鲶鱼才会叫鲶鱼湖吧

143
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,440
我们是去接受婚姻咨询的

144
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,942
不是去钓鱼

145
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,985
应该是保姆到了

146
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,780
-你好 我是辛普森太太
-辛普森

147
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:54,534
-辛普森
-你上瘾了吧

148
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,674
-发生什么事了
-天啊

149
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,926
这么临时要上哪去找保姆

150
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:16,222
糟了 要是请不到保姆就去不成了

151
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,015
真是扫兴

152
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,684
何必请保姆呢

153
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,770
-我快十岁半了
-妈 一定要请啦

154
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,854
小姐 放尊重点

155
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,022
不然等着吃耳光

156
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,274
-休想
-爷爷

157
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:30,152
-怎么了
-爷爷 可以帮个忙吗

158
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,990
-我会自己穿衣服
-我是在想

159
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,242
这个周末请你帮忙带小孩

160
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,077
如果不是没办法了 我不会劳烦你

161
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,915
没问题 没办法时就找爷爷这废物

162
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,919
什么事都不会做 可恶

163
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,505
所有人都看不起我

164
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,091
没问题

165
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:53,884
玛琦 这几样放进卡车就好了

166
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,681
如果玛吉要是有发烧
就打这电话

167
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,726
要是她把手指头伸进插座
就拨这号码

168
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,728
要是喝了清洁剂就拨这个

169
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,814
-单子给我啦 我识字
-好啦

170
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:09,108
再见孩子们 要乖啊

171
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,031
要是爷爷在浴缸滑倒拨这号码

172
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,158
-我听到了
-再见

173
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,578
爷爷 妈走得好急 忘了给你这个

174
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,831
上面是我和莉萨的规定

175
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,544
你们都可以抽雪茄？

176
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,546
<i>往鲶鱼湖八公里</i>

177
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,174
<i>加油站 食物 纪念品 鱼饵</i>

178
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,300
鱼饵

179
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,013
该加油了

180
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:43,267
加满 我去逛逛

181
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,315
-你们要去哪
-鲶鱼湖

182
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,486
-想抓谢尔曼将军是吧
-等等 谢尔曼将军是谁

183
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,696
它是我们这儿最大条的鲶鱼

184
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,199
-是啊
-听说重达500磅

185
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,201
-听谁说的
-那群人

186
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,246
那张就是唯一被拍到的照片

187
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,249
样子不清楚 但很大

188
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,713
各位 我要钓到谢尔曼将军

189
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,425
超市之后

190
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,678
我们要去录像带店 吃库斯提汉堡

191
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,346
然后去商店街

192
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,974
巴特 爷爷人很好又信任我们

193
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,102
你这样骗他好吗

194
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,979
莉萨 世道这么坏

195
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,023
骗骗没什么

196
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,193
不过现在直觉告诉我
要把爷爷榨干

197
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,904
辛普森夫妇欢迎

198
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,864
牧师你好 很高兴能来

199
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,575
-你好 海伦
-你好 玛琦

200
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,035
怎么会 霍默·辛普森

201
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,287
想要提升夫妻感情？

202
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,664
关你屁事 法兰德斯

203
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:50,793
牧师 有钓鱼时间吗

204
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:55,423
可能没有啊 想修复夫妻感情
不是几个小时就成的 霍默

205
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,427
-要花整个周末
-要钓大鱼就要上大饵

206
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:03,013
这样才不会坐失良缘

207
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,140
是啊

208
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,767
我也懂保龄球比喻啦

209
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,687
来了三对夫妻 有史以来最多人

210
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,315
那就请来的各位自我介绍吧

211
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,401
顺便讲讲来参加的原因

212
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,862
-约翰 葛洛莉亚
-我是葛洛莉亚

213
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,156
我是因为约翰来的

214
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,784
他有时候欲振乏力

215
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:28,789
倒不是因为我想他那身臭味
贴在我身上

216
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,833
-够了 葛洛莉亚
-谢谢 葛洛莉亚

217
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,878
约翰轮到你说说来的原因

218
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,963
她从来不下厨 家事也不做

219
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,465
还会说粗话

220
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,717
-真是恶妇之后
-我才不是

221
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,135
-恶妇之后
-我不是

222
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,928
皇冠给你 陛下

223
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,930
-恶妇之后
-别碰我 你这头猪

224
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,140
两位来对地方了

225
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,603
首先要请两位看着对方眼睛

226
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,817
你眼睛 我都忘了原来这么美

227
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,361
-我们别再吵架了
-吵架真笨

228
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,405
-别提这事了
-别再提了

229
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,074
要记得我救了你们一命
还带给你们幸福

230
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,868
下周布道捐献时别忘了

231
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:10,372
好了奈德和玛德 你们为何而来

232
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,500
-这个嘛
-你说啊 奈德

233
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,420
玛德她有时候会在我圣经里画线

234
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,297
因为她找不到自己的圣经

235
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,801
-还好你们家没枪
-霍默你为什么来

236
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,804
因为我喝醉时翻她衣服看

237
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,222
别乱说 霍默

238
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:30,518
玛琦等下要数落你的不是
那你先来讲她的吧

239
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,896
-她十全十美
-认真点 霍默 她有什么缺点

240
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,273
-这个嘛 有时候很烦人
-霍默

241
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,359
-玛琦 让他讲
-轮到你时你再说话

242
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:39,944
-我说完了
-那轮到你了 玛琦

243
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:45,658
我也不是在嫌弃他啦
有事我一定支持他

244
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,953
只是他这人很自我中心

245
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,205
-慢着
-霍默听我说

246
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:54,208
我的生日 结婚纪念日 假日
他全不记得

247
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:58,671
不管是宗教节日或是民间
吃东西不闭嘴 还好赌

248
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,507
老去低级酒吧 尽是些无业游民和
社会底层的人

249
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,385
没错 都没错

250
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,095
-霍默 别插嘴
-抱歉

251
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,014
用毛巾擤完鼻涕 又把它塞回原处

252
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,683
只有几次好吗

253
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,977
-一盒巧克力冰淇淋
-有

254
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,812
-一盒巧克力布朗尼软糖冰淇淋
-有

255
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,730
一盒巧克力巧克力巧克力碎片

256
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,774
-有
-你们妈妈真的有

257
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,900
在清单上写这些吗

258
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,152
-爷爷 还用问吗
-还有什么

259
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,237
冰淇淋上头的碎片和糖浆

260
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,490
-爷爷 第六道 动作快
-好 熄了雪茄

261
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:31,287
牛奶盒拿起来整罐喝
也不给婴儿换尿布

262
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,665
睡觉还会发出怪声

263
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,793
起床也发出怪声

264
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,338
用钥匙抓痒

265
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,048
大概就这样

266
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:48,178
还有 睡觉会踢我 脚指甲又长又黄

267
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,724
现在只想到这么多 大家应该都累了

268
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:55,269
谢谢各位听我吐苦水

269
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,106
我们错过户外晚餐了
今晚到此为止吧

270
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,525
可是 队长 我没办法

271
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,861
用豆子枪帮死去的搭档报仇

272
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:04,987
你不用说 霹雳神鹰

273
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,364
你这把枪违反本公寓规定

274
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,075
在这里 凡事得照规矩来

275
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:12,953
规矩个屁

276
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,663
-棒
-棒 霹雳神鹰

277
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,498
孩子们 很晚了

278
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,126
对 爷爷 你该上床了
今天累了一天

279
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,337
你们这群小鬼头 聪明虫

280
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,883
我没办法骗自己
我现在良心过意不去

281
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,888
5点出门 5点半捕到大鲶鱼

282
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,599
6点清鱼肚去鳞 6点半吃鱼

283
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,477
7点回床 一点犯罪证据都没有

284
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,562
完美的犯罪

285
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,522
霍默

286
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:45,444
你竟要溜出去钓鱼
真不敢相信你这么自私

287
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,613
你要钓鱼什么时候都可以去

288
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,240
但这次来是为了挽救我们的婚姻

289
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,286
就连现在你都想着钓鱼对吧

290
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,829
那我现在说实话可以吗

291
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,290
-可以
-没错 我是在想着钓鱼

292
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:02,252
救救我 玛琦 要怎样做
才能成为好丈夫

293
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,630
-那你回床上来
-好

294
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,928
但我睡不着 可以去散散步吗

295
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,805
可以

296
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,351
要当个好丈夫 要当个好丈夫

297
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:21,480
要当个好丈夫 孩子 你忘了你的…

298
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,408
来啊 谢尔曼将军 使出你的全力

299
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,035
你这大丑鲶鱼

300
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,664
我已经准备好平底锅和奶油
要把你下锅煮了

301
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:40,958
霍默

302
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,298
-加糖
-好 十颗

303
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,383
爷爷 帮我装满

304
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,094
你妈准你喝咖啡吗

305
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,554
好话不说第二遍 对

306
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,139
来吧 投降吧

307
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,267
不

308
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,644
米尔豪斯 辛普森家办派对

309
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,688
唯一在场成年人是个糟老头

310
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,108
巴特家 2点左右 不来是小狗

311
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,571
邀朋友一起来 没问题
但我朋友都很新潮啊

312
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,867
没问题 我中午才出狱
竟然就有人邀我开派对了

313
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,828
接下来是信任练习

314
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,248
各位往后躺 信任后方的伴侣
会接住你

315
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,212
一定要做吗

316
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,591
不用 就算现在你老公在我也不建议

317
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:34,970
玛琦 身为专业婚姻咨询
这是我第一次遇到

318
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,474
完全赞同一名伴侣的抱怨的

319
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,975
一切都是他的不对

320
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,103
而且我还要颁发一纸证书给你
还给你裱框

321
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,147
<i>在那边</i>

322
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,233
<i>传话下去 传话下去 在那边</i>

323
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,360
<i>北方军要来了</i>

324
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,994
好了 大鱼 你可能不懂
我为什么还不放弃

325
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,997
因为只要抓到你 我就是史上
最响叮当的钓手

326
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:06,126
跟那个谁齐名

327
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,129
钓鱼节目里那个秃头

328
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,383
乖乖大鲷

329
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,846
米尔豪斯 没看到你 当心点

330
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,474
很棒的派对 巴特
有八岁以上美眉吗

331
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,226
还没 但下午才刚开始

332
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,315
-莉萨 怎么了
-你还看不出来吗

333
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,400
我们对不起自己 让儿童权利运动

334
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,736
倒退了好几十年

335
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,446
莉萨你还真是会扫兴啊 了不起

336
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:39,618
住手 把门关上 住手 放回去
住手

337
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,208
你这死小孩 等我皮带拿下来
你就知道

338
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,418
-最好是啦
-那好 等着吃苦头吧你

339
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,963
可恶

340
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,426
我爱你 但是还是要宰了你

341
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,767
对 小心 谢谢光临

342
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,353
-领带很帅 尼尔森
-谢谢 是你爸的

343
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,150
我想当好保姆却失败了

344
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:15,654
我真是个废人 又老又没用

345
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,870
莉萨 我有种不舒服的感觉
从来没有过

346
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:26,165
那就是自责 你这不负责任的
死小孩

347
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,916
那要怎样赶走这感觉

348
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,710
去拿桶水和刷子

349
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,129
好好把家里到处尽快刷干净

350
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:45,350
<i>我是冠军 我是冠军</i>

351
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,936
<i>输家没空理你</i>

352
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:54,818
<i>因为我就是世界冠军</i>

353
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,196
亲爱的

354
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,241
-婚姻咨询进行得怎么样
-我们来参加婚姻咨询

355
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,577
因为我觉得我们的婚姻有危机

356
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,622
可是我没料到是这么大的危机

357
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,123
-霍默 你怎能以为…
-玛琦

358
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,833
玛琦 你不知道这鱼有多重要

359
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,127
这鱼可以给我们带来更好的日子

360
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,296
这鱼让我成为冠军和英雄

361
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,007
-在谁眼里
-那些鱼饵店里的怪胎

362
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,801
这鱼只让我看清你有多自私

363
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,012
要是你真这么觉得
那我把它丢回去好了

364
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:23,931
-好啊 你丢
-你看好了

365
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,728
我丢了

366
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:33,440
为了婚姻 我放弃了名气和早餐

367
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,484
这可是花了我六个钟头

368
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,653
她一句话我就把它丢回去了

369
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,907
这样你还嫌说我们婚姻出问题

370
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,452
-过来宝贝
-霍默

371
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:10,936
-我们到家了
-和好了吗

372
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:15,899
-一如过去完美无瑕
-天啊 这家里美极了

373
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,652
-爷爷 你有什么秘诀
-假哭

374
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,991
没错 就是假哭

375
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,411
我超会假哭的 像水龙头一样

376
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,956
我哭了 好难过

377
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:35,168
-了不起 爷爷
-以后再也不相信老人了

378
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:38,213
你们上当了 再见 笨蛋

379
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,174
是啊 谢尔曼将军

380
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,928
据说有500磅重 躲在池底的怪物
你没听过吗

381
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,263
不知道有多老了

382
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,265
但如果让我来猜 大家都相信我

383
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:51,101
-应该有100岁
-都没人钓到过

384
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:54,021
有个叫霍默的家伙差点钓到了

385
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:57,399
他有七尺高 手臂跟树干一样粗

386
00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,068
眼神很冷酷很狠

387
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:03,363
一头红发就跟地狱怒火一样

388
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,501
字幕翻译：侯敏生