1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,297 阿森一族 2 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,924 (歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠) 3 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,637 (春田小學) 4 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,435 (我以後不會再奀皮) 5 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,943 (注意安全) 6 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,154 (《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片) 7 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:22,832 (請享用派對零食) 8 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,586 -“開胃菜" -荷馬你答應過我的 9 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,255 我答應妳不偷吃?怎麼可能,呃人 10 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,217 荷馬,我拜託你啦 我們家沒辦過派對 11 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,053 這次我們要回請以前邀請過 我們的朋友 12 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,972 沒辦過派對?那次狂歡不是 13 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,142 開了香檳請了樂師,還有牧師 一大班人嗎? 14 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,227 那是我們的婚禮 15 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,646 小朋友要上床了 16 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,524 可是媽,我想聽成熟大人嘈交 17 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,192 對啊,睡覺又不好玩 18 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,695 阿仔,等你大就會明了 19 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:59,869 喔,寶貝 20 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,663 人來了 21 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,039 -東西都準備好了嗎? -我看起來如何? 22 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,582 -家裡玻璃杯夠嗎? -惡作劇冰塊數量夠嗎? 23 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,793 -荷馬,去放音樂 -妳剛說會來的朋友叫什麼名字? 24 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,128 小朋友行開 25 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,422 -你好,荷馬 -請進 26 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,258 -妳今天打扮得好美 -美枝,妳太靚了 27 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,718 還有你們家,真是佈置得…隨便啦 28 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,971 各位,可以讓我做酒保嗎? 29 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,973 我是調酒博士 30 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,350 幼稚 31 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,687 荷馬,要試下我整的 耕耘者雞尾酒嗎? 32 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,980 好啊,用我的錢買的 33 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,320 酒保,下次記得加點酒 34 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,780 那可不,辛普森 35 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,158 我加了三杯蘭姆酒 一杯仔波本酒 36 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,494 還有少許黑醋粟酒 37 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,248 是嗎?是有種微醺感啦 38 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,417 還有點黐脷筋 39 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,795 -你沒有呃我,再來一杯 -荷馬,不要飲那麼多 40 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,672 還記得去年在溫菲爾家派對 41 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,425 -你給人家吐在洗衣籃裡 -不記得 42 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,809 兩位是荷馬姨仔對不對? 43 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:10,064 我有印象,但不記得妳們這麼美 44 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,483 嘿 45 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,197 那是新式防狼噴霧嗎?真的很痛 46 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,365 蕉拔醫生 47 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,619 -喜歡這派對嗎? -老實講,不 48 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,830 有人在這種新潮冰塊裡 49 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,832 放了假烏蠅 50 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,544 我放的,你上當了 51 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,297 荷馬,這種新潮冰塊 52 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,007 往往是用高毒性化學物質製成的 53 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,843 相比之下,真蒼蠅還比它衛生 54 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,304 看你那表情,無得彈 55 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,976 (這派對真唔扣9) 56 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,895 巴特,過來 57 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,022 -如何? -你這隻馬蹓 58 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,899 -你是馬蹓,對吧? -是,爸 59 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,485 巴特,表演一下你的招牌動作 60 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,779 -什麼招牌? -你最拿手的動作 61 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,823 -什麼? -去睡覺 62 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,533 各位 63 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:06,537 你們看,我是全世界最搞笑的人 64 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,749 荷馬,你真好嘢 65 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,592 (5元) 66 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:27,475 多年來我一直想告訴大家 67 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,644 但一直鼓不起勇氣 68 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,146 不知道你們知不知道,我太太 和你太太是朋友 69 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:35,275 -我們三小時前才認識的 -你爛死了 70 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:40,488 你們成個部門渣到無倫了,我不做了 71 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,032 -不要辭職 -好吧 72 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:51,040 拎把花生給我 73 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,126 -瑪德? -好 74 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,502 不是那種花生 75 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,463 -下面那種 -好 76 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,140 多謝你們的招待,我好開心 77 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,975 我先生失儀了 78 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:13,146 如果不想他啃死,最好讓他 睡覺時臉向上 79 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,106 我會注意,謝謝你蕉拔醫生 80 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,817 -謝謝大家來 -別忘了,我是說如果 81 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:27,577 這輩子沒這麼丟臉過 82 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,120 怎麼了?妳幹了什麼事? 83 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:41,924 美枝 84 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,636 -過來 -要去哪? 85 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,265 我不想孩子們聽到 86 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,226 小時候,我很討厭爸媽吵架 87 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,062 他們又躲到車上去吵架了 88 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,647 每次聽到這首歌我就毛管戙 89 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,777 你記得昨晚派對你的表現嗎? 90 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,320 我的表現? 91 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,906 我記得說過“我要脫掉濕衣服 92 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,240 喝一杯馬丁尼酒" 93 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,785 -真識講 -謝謝 94 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,328 天啊,酒入面有烏蠅 95 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,871 -是我放的 -是你放? 96 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,414 惡作劇故意放 97 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,084 -太好笑了 -荷馬風格 98 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,628 我宣佈這是本季最即興笑話 99 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,519 (盡情吃喝享樂) 100 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,687 荷馬? 101 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:40,233 我應該還算是有耐心、包容的女性 102 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,986 無論你再怎麼踩我底線我依然愛你 103 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,448 但昨晚,你不但踩底線 104 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,493 -你還吐在我身上 -不好意思,親愛的 105 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,370 可以當冇事照去教堂嗎? 106 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,996 今天我要一個人去教堂 107 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,165 你給我留在這好好同巴特解釋 108 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,210 -為什麼讓他終生有創傷 -我沒有 109 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,047 你是說心裡頭嗎? 110 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,924 昨晚的事 111 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,468 你可能發現老豆有點怪怪 112 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,513 -你可能不明白 -我懂啊,你飲大咗 113 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,224 我承認,我沒節制 114 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:17,019 很抱歉,希望你不會因此看不起老豆 115 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,231 爸,我對你態度都沒變 116 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,902 在說明下週講道內容前 117 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:28,614 有件事要宣佈,可以在教堂 118 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,116 新聞欄去拿小冊子 119 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,077 包括《聖經解謎》,《撒旦的錯誤》 120 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:34,954 《上帝的訊息》,《撒旦錯誤續集》 121 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,332 還有青少年讀物《地獄酷刑不好玩》 122 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,294 美枝,美枝? 123 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,340 不好意思,上帝和我也壓不過 124 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,259 荷馬辛普森腳步聲 125 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,429 我們不妨等他就定位吧 126 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,222 -抱歉牧師 -請坐,荷馬 127 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,850 牧師娘同我下週末要在 128 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,395 鯰魚湖辦第三屆婚姻諮商 129 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,272 這個心理諮商 130 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,858 是為有婚姻危機的夫妻 131 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,235 或想調整關係的伴侶而開 132 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,697 有意參加的伴侶請到大廳報名 133 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:10,865 佈道結束就開始接受報名 134 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,994 辛普森夫妻也要參加嗎? 135 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,621 (婚姻諮商報名處) 136 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,582 很有吸引力呢,很好的想法 137 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,585 美枝,妳做什麼?妳瘋了? 138 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,962 放手,放回去 139 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,839 -我們會去的 -停手 140 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,929 婚姻假期週末我來了 141 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,599 -你願意去了? -可是在鯰魚湖辦 142 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:41,604 一定有鯰魚才會叫鯰魚湖吧 143 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,440 我們是去接受婚姻諮商的 144 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,942 不是去釣魚 145 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,985 褓姆來了 146 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,780 -妳好,我是辛普森太太 -辛普森 147 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:54,534 -辛普森 -妳上癮了? 148 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,674 -發生什麼事了? -天啊 149 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,926 這麼臨時要去哪找褓姆 150 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:16,222 糟了,要是請不到褓姆就去不了 151 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,015 真掃興 152 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,684 何必請褓姆呢? 153 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,770 -我都快十歲半了 -媽,一定要請啦 154 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,854 小姐,尊重點 155 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,022 不然等著被我賞巴掌 156 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,274 -休想 -爺爺 157 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,152 -怎麼了? -爺爺,可以幫個忙嗎? 158 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,990 -我會自己穿衣服 -我想 159 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,242 這個週末請你幫忙帶小朋友 160 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,077 如果不是沒辦法了,我不會勞煩你 161 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,915 沒問題,沒辦法時就找爺爺這廢物 162 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,919 什麼事都不會做,可惡 163 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,505 所有人都看不起我 164 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,091 沒問題 165 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:53,884 美枝,這幾樣放到貨車就可以了 166 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,681 如果瑪姬要是有發燒 就打這電話 167 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,726 要是她把手指伸入插頭 就打這號碼 168 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,728 如果飲了清潔劑就打這個 169 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,814 -給我,我識字 -好啦 170 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:09,108 再見小朋友,要乖喔 171 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,031 如果爺爺在浴缸滑倒打這號碼 172 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,158 -我聽到了 -再見 173 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,578 爺爺,媽走得好急,忘了給你這個 174 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,831 上面是我和麗莎的規定 175 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,544 你們都可以抽雪茄? 176 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,546 (往鯰魚湖八公里) 177 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,174 (油站,食物,紀念品,魚餌) 178 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,300 魚餌 179 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,013 要入油了 180 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:43,267 加滿,我周圍行下伸展下 181 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,315 -你們要去哪? -鯰魚湖 182 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,486 -想釣謝爾曼將軍? -等等,謝爾曼將軍是誰? 183 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,696 牠是我們這兒最大條的鯰魚 184 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,199 -是喔 -聽講有成500磅重 185 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,201 -聽誰說的? -那班人 186 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,246 那張就是唯一被影到的照 187 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,249 看不清楚,但很大隻 188 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,713 各位,我要釣到謝爾曼將軍 189 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,425 超級市場後 190 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,678 我們要去錄影帶店,吃庫斯提漢堡包 191 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,346 然後去商店街 192 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,974 巴特,爺爺人很好又信任我們 193 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,102 你這樣騙他好嗎? 194 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,979 麗莎,世道這麼壞 195 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,023 騙人不算什麼 196 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,193 不過現在直覺告訴我 要將爺爺搾乾 197 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,904 辛普森夫婦歡迎 198 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,864 牧師你好,很高興能來 199 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,575 -妳好,海倫 -妳好,美枝 200 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,035 怎麼會,荷馬辛普森 201 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,287 想改善夫妻感情? 202 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,664 關你屁事,法蘭德斯 203 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:50,793 牧師,有釣魚時間嗎? 204 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:55,423 可能沒有,想修補夫妻感情 不是幾粒鐘就搞得掂的事,荷馬 205 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,427 -要花整個周末 -要釣大魚就要上大餌 206 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:03,013 這樣才不會坐失良緣 207 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,140 是喔 208 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,767 我也懂保齡球比喻啦 209 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,687 來了三對夫妻,有史以來最多人 210 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:13,315 那就請來的各位自我介紹吧 211 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,401 順便講講來參加的原因 212 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,862 -約翰,葛洛莉亞? -我是葛洛莉亞 213 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,156 我是因為約翰來的 214 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,784 他有時候欲振乏力 215 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:28,789 倒不是因為我想他那身臭味 貼在我身上 216 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,833 -夠了,葛洛莉亞 -謝謝,葛洛莉亞 217 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,878 約翰輪到你說說來的原因 218 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,963 她從來不下廚,又不做家務 219 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,465 還會講粗口 220 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,717 -真是惡婦之后 -我不是 221 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,135 -惡婦之后 -我不是 222 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,928 皇冠給妳,陛下 223 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,930 -惡婦之后 -別碰我,你死豬 224 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,140 兩位來對地方了 225 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,603 首先要請兩位看著對方眼睛 226 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,817 妳眼睛,我都忘了原來這麼美 227 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,361 -我們別再吵架了 -吵架真笨 228 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,405 -別提這事了 -別再提了 229 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,074 要記得我救了你們一命 還帶給你們幸福 230 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,868 下週佈道捐獻時別忘了 231 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:10,372 好了內德和瑪德,你們為何而來? 232 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,500 -這個 -你說啊,小內內 233 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,420 瑪德她有時候會在我聖經裡畫線 234 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,297 因為她找不到自己的聖經 235 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,801 -還好你們家沒槍 -荷馬你為什麼來? 236 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,804 因為我喝醉時揭她的衣服 237 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,055 別亂講,荷馬 238 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:30,518 美枝等下要數落你的不是 那你先來講她的吧 239 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,896 -她十全十美 -認真,荷馬,她有什麼缺點 240 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,273 -這個,有時候很煩 -荷馬 241 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,359 -美枝,讓他講 -輪到妳時妳再說話 242 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:39,944 -我講完了 -那輪到妳了,美枝 243 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:45,658 我也不是在嫌棄他啦 有事我一定相挺 244 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,953 只是他這人很自我中心 245 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,205 -等等 -荷馬聽我說 246 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:54,208 我的生日、結婚紀念日、假日 他都不記得 247 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:58,671 不論是宗教節日或是民間 食飯好大聲,仲好賭 248 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,507 成日去低級酒吧,盡是些無業遊民和 社會底層的人 249 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,385 沒錯,都沒錯 250 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,095 -荷馬,別插嘴 -抱歉 251 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,014 用毛巾抹完鼻涕 又將它塞回原來的地方 252 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,683 只有幾次OK? 253 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,977 -一盒朱古力雪糕 -有 254 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,812 -一盒朱古力布朗尼軟糖雪糕 -有 255 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,730 一盒朱古力碎片 256 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,774 -有 -你們媽媽真的有 257 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,900 在清單上寫這些嗎? 258 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,152 -爺爺,仲要問嗎? -還有什麼? 259 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,237 雪糕上面的碎片和糖漿 260 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,490 -爺爺,第六行,快 -好,熄了雪茄 261 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:31,287 牛奶成罐拿起來直接飲 不幫手換尿布 262 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,665 睡覺還會發出怪聲 263 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,793 起床也有怪聲 264 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,338 用鑰匙抓痕 265 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,048 大概這樣 266 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:48,178 還有,睡覺會踢我,腳指甲又長又黃 267 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,724 現在只想到這麼多,大家應該都累了 268 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:55,269 謝謝各位聽我吐苦水 269 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,106 我們錯過戶外晚餐了 今晚到此為止吧? 270 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,525 可是,隊長,我沒辦法 271 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,861 用豆子槍幫死去的拍檔報仇 272 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:04,987 你不用說,霹靂神鷹 273 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,364 你這把槍違反本公寓規定 274 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,075 在這裡,凡事要跟規矩 275 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:12,953 規矩個屁 276 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,663 -正 -正,霹靂神鷹 277 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,498 小朋友,好夜了 278 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,126 對,爺爺,你要上床了 今天累了一天 279 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,337 你們這群小鬼頭,聰明蟲 280 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,883 我沒辦法騙自己 我現在良心過意不去 281 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,888 5點出門,5點半捉到大鯰魚 282 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,599 6點清魚肚去鱗,6點半吃魚 283 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,477 7點回床,一點犯罪證據都沒有 284 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,562 完美犯罪 285 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,522 荷馬? 286 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:45,444 你竟要溜出去釣魚 真不敢相信你這麼自私 287 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,613 你要釣魚什麼時候都可以去 288 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,240 但這次來是為了挽救我們的婚姻 289 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,286 就連現在你都想著釣魚是不是? 290 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,829 那我現在說實話可以嗎? 291 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,290 -可以 -沒錯,我是在想著釣魚 292 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:02,252 救救我,美枝,要怎樣做 才能成為好老公? 293 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,630 -那你回床上 -好 294 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,928 但我睡不著,可以去散散步嗎? 295 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,805 可以 296 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,351 要做個好老公 297 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:21,480 要當個好老公,孩子,你忘了你的… 298 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,408 來啊,謝爾曼將軍,出全力 299 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,035 你這大舊鯰魚 300 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,664 我已經準備好鍋和牛油 要將你落鍋煎了 301 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:40,958 荷馬? 302 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,298 -加糖? -好,十粒 303 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,383 爺爺,幫我裝滿 304 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,094 你媽准你飲咖啡? 305 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,554 好話不說第二遍,對 306 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,139 來吧,投降吧 307 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,267 不 308 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,644 米爾豪斯,辛普森家辦派對 309 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,688 唯一在場成年人是個糟老頭 310 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,108 巴特家,2點左右,不來是小狗 311 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,571 邀朋友一起來?沒問題 但我朋友都很新潮喔 312 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,867 沒問題,我中午才出獄 竟然就有人邀我開派對了 313 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,828 接下來是信任練習 314 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,248 各位往後躺,信任後方的伴侶 會接住你 315 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,212 一定要嗎? 316 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,591 不用,就算現在妳老公在我也不建議 317 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:34,970 美枝,身為專業婚姻諮商 這是我第一次遇到 318 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,474 完全贊同一名伴侶的抱怨的 319 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,975 一切都是他的不對 320 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,103 而且我還要頒發一紙證書給妳 還給妳裱框 321 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,147 在那邊 322 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,233 傳話落去,在那邊 323 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,360 北方軍要來了 324 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,994 好了,大魚,你可能不懂 我為什麼還不放棄 325 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,997 因為只要抓到你,我就是史上 最出名的釣魚高手了 326 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:06,126 同那個什麼齊名 327 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,129 釣魚節目裡那個光頭 328 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,383 乖乖大鯛 329 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,846 米爾豪斯,沒看到你,小心點 330 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,474 很棒的派對,巴特 有八歲以上女仔嗎? 331 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,226 還沒,但下午才剛開始 332 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,315 -麗莎,怎麼了? -你還看不出來嗎? 333 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,400 我們對不起自己,讓兒童權利運動 334 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,736 倒退了好幾十年 335 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,446 麗莎妳還真是會掃興啊,了不起 336 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:39,618 住手,關門,停手,放回去 停手 337 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,208 你這死小孩,等我皮帶拿下來 你就知道 338 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,418 -最好是 -那好,等住食苦頭 339 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,963 可惡 340 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,426 我愛你,但是還是要劏你 341 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,767 對,小心,謝謝光臨 342 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,353 -領帶好好看,尼爾森 -謝謝,是你爸的 343 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,150 我想當好褓姆卻失敗了 344 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:15,654 我真是個廢人,又老又廢 345 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,870 麗莎,我有種不舒服的感覺 從來沒有過 346 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:26,165 那就是自責,你這不負責任的 死小孩 347 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,916 那要怎樣趕走這感覺? 348 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,710 去拿桶水和刷 349 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,129 將家裡到處盡快刷乾淨 350 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:45,350 我是冠軍 351 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,936 輸家沒空理你 352 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:54,818 因為我就是世界冠軍 353 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,196 親愛的 354 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,241 -婚姻諮商進行怎麼樣? -我們來參加婚姻諮商 355 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,577 因為我覺得我們的婚姻有危機 356 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,622 可是我沒料到是這麼大的危機 357 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,123 -荷馬,你怎能以為… -美枝 358 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,833 美枝,妳不知道這魚有多重要 359 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,127 這魚可以給我們帶來更好的日子 360 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,296 這魚讓我成為冠軍和英雄 361 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:17,007 -在誰眼裡? -那些魚餌店裡的怪胎 362 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,801 這魚只讓我看清你有多自私 363 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,012 要是妳真這麼覺得 那我把牠丟回去好了 364 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:23,931 -好啊,你丟 -妳看好了 365 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,728 我丟了 366 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:33,440 為了婚姻,我放棄了名氣和早餐 367 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,484 我用了六粒鐘 368 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,653 她一句話我就把牠丟回去了 369 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,907 這樣妳還嫌說我們婚姻出問題? 370 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,452 -過來寶貝 -荷馬 371 00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:10,936 -我們到家了 -合好可以嗎? 372 00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:15,899 -一如過去完美無瑕 -天啊,這家裡美極了 373 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,652 -爺爺,你有什麼秘訣? -假喊 374 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,991 沒錯,就是假喊 375 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,411 我假喊十足十真一樣,像水龍頭 376 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,956 我要喊了,好難過 377 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:35,168 -了不起,爺爺 -以後再也不相信老人了 378 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:38,213 你們上當了,再見,笨蛋 379 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,174 是啊,謝爾曼將軍 380 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,928 聽講有成500磅,躲在池底的怪物 你沒聽過嗎? 381 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,263 不知道有多老了 382 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,265 但如果讓我來猜,大家都聽相信我 383 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:51,101 -應該有100歲 -都沒人釣到過? 384 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:54,021 有個叫荷馬的人差點釣到了 385 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:57,399 他有七尺高手臂跟樹幹一樣粗 386 00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,068 眼神很冷酷很狠 387 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:03,363 一頭紅髮就跟地獄怒火一樣