1 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,423 阿森一族 2 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:10,093 (我以後再也不敢貪小便宜) 3 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,974 (注意安全) 4 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,726 (《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片) 5 00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,976 得未?可以食了嗎? 6 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,187 荷馬,你的肉卷再等八秒就可以吃了 7 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,106 可惡,沒有電器比微波爐快嗎? 8 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:09,402 四,三,二,一,叮 9 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,279 肉卷食得啦 10 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,406 小朋友,趁它還熱辣辣的時候快食 11 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:19,287 好香,麗莎,我特別留了邊邊這塊 又脆又香給妳 12 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,415 星期四,肉肉日 13 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,210 過去如此,現在如此,將來也如此 14 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,754 -妳又想說什麼了? -就是,你一直都教我 15 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,006 要保持開放的心胸 勇於嘗試新的事物,讓人生… 16 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,467 妳在說什麼啊?沒人教妳那些啊 17 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,596 -兒子,別說了 -嗯,我覺得麗莎說得對 18 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,848 明天晚上出去外面食好像也不錯 19 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,643 明天晚上?星期五?豬扒夜? 20 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:45,980 美枝,我們從87年的豬隻大恐慌開始 就沒有錯過任何一次的豬扒之夜 21 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,274 星期五,晚餐食豬扒 22 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,194 一輩子都不可能改變 刻在石碑上存放在上帝的書房裡 23 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,987 -在天國的某個地方 -好啦,可以了也知道了 24 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,280 妳想食什麼? 25 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,950 漢堡、意大利薄餅或炸雞 之外其他都可以 26 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,576 很好,我們都不用吃了 27 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,079 艾姆街上開了一間新開的壽司店 28 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,541 壽司?雖然我可能只是操場上隨便聽 29 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,501 但壽司的魚都是生的吧? 30 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:10,338 一如往常,操場聽到的雖然是真的 但是完全放錯重點了 31 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,924 大家都說壽司超級好味 32 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,884 -荷馬拜託,我們可以去嗎? -不行 33 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,303 老豆拜託,這樣一直嘈 對我們兩個來說都很無面 34 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,055 妳問第一次我就說過不行了 35 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,516 妳憑什麼覺得問第二次我就會答應? 36 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,685 沒關係,但等我問到第99次 你或者就會答應了 37 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,186 -哦?妳試試看啊 -老豆,拜託 38 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,146 -不行 -老豆,拜託 39 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,189 -老豆,拜託?老豆,拜託? -不行,不行 40 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,190 -老豆,拜託? -不行 41 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,984 -老豆,拜託 -噢,好啦,行啦 42 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:33,987 (快樂相撲) 43 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,573 歡迎光臨 44 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,867 不用怕 45 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,452 我們的廚師只是在打招呼 46 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,412 哦,好 47 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,038 Hello 48 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,499 這是我們的卡拉OK酒吧 49 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,917 現在還沒有人 50 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,796 但很快就會有成班飲醉的日本生意佬 在裡面唱唱跳跳 51 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,841 我叫阿明,是你們的侍應 請問準備好點餐嗎? 52 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:59,179 對於覺得好像來錯地方的家庭 有什麼推薦嗎? 53 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,806 壽司驚喜餐,每種都可以吃到一點 54 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,893 -絕對不會錯 -那我要一份 55 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,061 -再加一份 -阿明,弟弟 56 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,771 我想要兩份鯊魚、一份八爪魚 57 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,148 -和一份鰻魚 -沒問題 58 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,525 你們有巨型墨魚嗎? 就是可以把人拖進海裡浸死那種? 59 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,819 目前沒有呢,先生呢? 60 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,698 很難選,看起來都很可怕 61 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,535 就給我一份這個,和一份這個 還有一份那個 62 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,503 師父,這樣可以嗎? 63 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:37,091 不行,藤四郎,你的魷魚看起來 就像被一個盲眼樵夫亂刀砍死一樣 64 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,427 還不趕快低頭反省 65 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,309 (達夫啤酒) 66 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,228 好險我不排斥吃新的料理 67 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,565 不錯,真有趣 68 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,193 我們來吃吃看這個粉紅色 69 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,112 嗯,好好味啊,再吃其他試下 70 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,199 哎唷,這個魚好味到飛起 71 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,872 嗨,我叫理奇酒井 72 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,500 我是一個麻醉醫師 73 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:15,421 我想要將下首歌 獻給我的太太,帕蒂 74 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,019 再來兩份這個 75 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,145 兩份海膽? 76 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,899 還有…我想我應該還沒點過飛魚手卷 77 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985 我建議另外加點生鳥蛋淋在上面 78 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:37,944 由你話事 79 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,591 一定還有什麼是我沒點,是不是? 80 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,677 嘿,這是什麼?河魨 81 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:07,724 那是河豚,先生 但我必須警告您,那… 82 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,809 不用說了,老弟,我要河豚 83 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,495 她來了 84 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:30,788 幫我代一下 85 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,082 -一份河魨 -河魨不行 86 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,084 如果沒有切好的話,就會,就會… 87 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,837 對,對,會有毒,還有可能會致命 88 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,257 但是,如果正確處理的話 就非常好味 89 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,842 我必須去叫師父整 90 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,555 克拉巴佩爾小姐 91 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,726 哦,妳的頭髮聞起來好…好清新 92 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,228 師父,廚房那邊需要你 93 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,356 我說了叫你代班,可惡 94 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,941 但是師父,我們需要你的神之手 95 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,070 我的神之手現在沒空,你自己解決 96 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,906 (海豚) 97 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,660 有毒,有毒,好味的魚 98 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,626 專注,專注… 99 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,586 給我河魨 100 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,300 超級河魨好味 101 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,681 噢不 102 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,981 美枝,這種語言真好聽,對不對? 103 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,734 算我拜託你,不要再吃了 104 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,194 噢,已經來不及了 105 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,530 辛普森先生,我就坦白講 106 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,866 我們覺得你極有可能吃到… 有毒的魚了 107 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,076 有毒? 108 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,537 怎麼辦?我該怎麼辦?快點告訴我 109 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:53,913 先不要緊張 110 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,416 菜單後面有地圖告訴你怎麼去醫院 111 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,878 荷馬,新嘗試嘛 112 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,588 荷馬,試一下又不會死 113 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,298 我就從來沒聽過有人被豬扒毒死 114 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,593 你太太覺得我應該告訴你 115 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,471 不用說了,醫生,我太了解美枝了 看一眼就知道她在想什麼 116 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,601 -哦,是好消息,對嗎? -不是,辛普森先生 117 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,895 -哦 -如果你真的食了 118 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:21,607 河豚的毒素,而根據你太太的說法 應該是這樣沒錯 119 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,195 -那你應該只有24小時的命 -24小時 120 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,948 其實是22,很抱歉讓你等這麼久 121 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,366 噢,美枝 122 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,369 我要死了,我快要死了 123 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:37,748 不過值得安慰的是 你完全不會感覺到任何的痛苦 124 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,210 一直到明天晚上的某個時間點 你的心臟會突然炸掉 125 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,796 現在如果有一點怕死的焦慮是正常 126 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:46,048 你可能會經歷五個階段 127 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,759 -第一階段是否認 -不可能,因為我才不會死 128 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,720 -第二階段是憤怒 -你這小子… 129 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,556 在那之後是恐懼 130 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,600 -恐懼之後呢?恐懼再來是什麼? -討價還價 131 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,269 醫生,救我,保證你好人有好報 132 00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:02,106 -然後是最後一個階段,坦然接受 -好吧,反正每個人終有一死 133 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,108 辛普森先生,你的接受速度 快得令人震驚 134 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,279 那我就把時間留給你們兩個 或者這本小冊子會有所幫助 135 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,782 “所以你就快要死了" 136 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:25,296 美枝,拜託 是我快死了,又不是妳 137 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:28,007 噢,荷馬,對不起 138 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,552 你有想過要怎麼告訴孩子們嗎? 139 00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,804 我不想說,說了只會讓他們難過 140 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,475 我希望在最後的人生中 可以享受快樂的家庭時光 141 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,937 那麼你想好明天要做什麼了嗎? 142 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:41,938 快好了 143 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,272 (今日必做蠢事,一、列出清單 144 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,066 三、拍影片給瑪姬 四、和巴特展開真男人之間的對談) 145 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,192 噢,看起來很棒 146 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,903 我…我還沒寫完,美枝 147 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:54,534 那個要怎麼說? 就是我和妳…妳知道嗎? 148 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,202 做一些不能說的事? 149 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,412 和美枝做一些不能說的事 150 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,249 我可以給你一個建議嗎? 151 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,751 我們要不要一起早起看日出? 152 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,421 看日出 153 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:13,177 直到早上6點,和我親愛的寶貝老婆 一起過我活著的最後一天 154 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,442 11點半,真的是很棒 155 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,987 美枝,妳為什麼讓我睡到這麼晚? 156 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,989 你看起來睡得很熟 157 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:36,826 等我死了以後多的是時間可以睡 我還有大把重要事仲未做 158 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,661 巴特 159 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,580 “和巴特展開真男人之間的對談" 160 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,917 -仔,過來這裡 -吼唷 161 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,461 不是啦 162 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,214 我只是想要和你傾下心事 163 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:54,635 巴特,你知道嗎?除了我之外 我們家就只剩你一個男人 164 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,512 這代表著你必須要幫忙… 165 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,097 拜託,我在家裡已經幫忙很多了 166 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,974 麗莎連一根手指頭都懶得郁 你為什麼不罵她? 167 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:03,603 收聲,巴特,我有著數比你 168 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,396 我想教你一些事情 169 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,733 人生中有三句很簡單但非常好用的話 170 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,985 第一句,幫幫忙 171 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,529 第二句,噢,好主意,老細 172 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,741 第三句,我來的時候就是這樣了 173 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,451 嘿,的確有著數 174 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,328 對吧,來走吧 再來要教你點剃鬚 175 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:25,666 最後是鼻子下面這個小小的位置 176 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,961 再來,我們抽張紙巾 177 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,631 撕下一個小角 178 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:36,886 然後這裡貼一張…和這裡… 還有所有流血的地方都要 179 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,222 這裡跟這裡,不要擔心 流出來的血會把紙巾黏在臉上 180 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,642 接下來…擦一些收縮水 181 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,732 哇… 182 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,401 這樣就剃好鬚了 183 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,779 你這細路… 184 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,364 我進來的時候它就這樣了 185 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,200 哦,不愧是我個仔 186 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:03,329 “聽麗莎吹奏色士風" 187 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,292 嗨,老豆,你要叫我停止噪音嗎? 188 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,960 哦,我是來聽妳表演 189 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,505 -為什麼? -老豆要做什麼還需要解釋原因嗎? 190 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,840 讓我們欣賞一下妳的才藝,可以嗎? 191 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,231 好,這樣好聽多了 192 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:37,530 噢,我想要加入他們之中 193 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,534 當聖徒齊向那邊行 194 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,619 噢,向那邊行 195 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,996 噢,向那邊行 196 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,709 (歡迎來到佛蘭德斯的王國) 197 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,170 “拍影片給瑪姬" 198 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,300 辛普森,真是稀客啊 我們正在做太妃糖 199 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,137 哇,佛蘭德斯 永遠都這麼好玩,對不對 200 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,346 鮑伯那是當然 201 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,724 佛蘭德斯,可以借我攝影機嗎? 202 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:05,933 無問題 203 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,560 (老天保佑這個垃圾堆) 204 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:11,605 你明天要不要 帶全家一起來BBQ? 205 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,357 -不用了,謝謝 -你肯定? 206 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,901 我們新買了一部漂亮的 煤氣BBQ爐就放在後院呢 207 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,778 -不,我不想… -它來不及想要 208 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,781 -好好整餐美食了 -佛蘭德斯,我說了我不… 209 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,158 明天嗎? 210 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,493 好啊,管他 211 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,413 我很期待來你家BBQ 212 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:33,502 我還會帶你看過 最厚實最多汁的T骨扒過來 213 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,087 嗯,聽起來不錯 214 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,008 出醜的是他,反正到時候我已經死了 215 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:41,719 有在錄嗎? 216 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:47,099 這部片是要給我的女兒瑪姬看 217 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,517 嗨,瑪姬 218 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,771 等妳看到這支影片的時候我已經死了 219 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,567 希望這樣不會嚇到妳 220 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,028 那麼,瑪姬,妳現在已經長大了 221 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,572 而除非妳把這段影片洗掉 不然妳應該會很好奇 222 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,574 妳的父親是一個什麼樣的人 223 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,993 他是一個簡單的人,一個好人 224 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,245 一個溫柔的人,很愛他的孩子… 225 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,205 可惡 226 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,666 喂,有,他在家,哪裡找? 227 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,084 巴特的朋友米爾豪斯? 228 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,170 巴特,給我滾下來聽電話 229 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,630 (春田養老院) 230 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,174 (請勿談論外界生活,我們感謝您) 231 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,552 -爸? -吓? 232 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,805 哦,是你,什麼事? 233 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,182 爸,我們一直都不親近,對不對? 234 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,391 就我所知的確如此 235 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:33,145 我們從來沒有一起去釣魚或玩拋接球 甚至沒有攬過彼此 236 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,856 我們也沒有一起跳過肚皮舞啊 你想說什麼? 237 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:40,110 我只是想讓你知道我很愛你,老豆 238 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,029 -真的嗎? -嗯 239 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,157 噢,兒子,我也愛你 240 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,034 嘿,要不要攬一下? 241 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,452 -爸 -我的兒啊 242 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,037 -爸爸 -仔仔 243 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,205 我的老豆 244 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,915 好了,我要走了 245 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:57,002 兒子,別走 我們還有很多事還沒做 246 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,213 你看我們一起去釣魚如何? 247 00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,800 天啊,老豆,要不是我時間不多了… 248 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,218 我一定會… 249 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,221 噢,我們去捉蟲做魚餌吧 250 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:11,767 好哦 251 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,894 好吧,沒時間做這個了 252 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,234 唉,我真的很想做這個 253 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,361 我制服你了 254 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,323 老豆,真的很會霸占我人生最後時光 255 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,034 就玩一局踢沙包嘛 256 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,164 兒子我愛你 257 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,167 好啦 天啊,老人家有點缺乏愛 258 00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:41,046 跑快點,你這部爛車 我必須快點彌補浪費掉的時間 259 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,464 慘了 260 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,513 警察先生,對不起啦 我知道我開太快了 261 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,265 -趕快開單吧 -你再說一次? 262 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,808 趕快開單啦 263 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,269 哦,聽起來好像在命令我們 264 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:58,063 你們的人工是用我繳的稅付 265 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:01,567 所以我說趕快開我罰單就快開單 266 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,945 這樣哦?但是我們不想要開單呢 267 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,323 我們比較想要讓你食皇家飯啦 268 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,994 來看看你繳的稅還用在什麼地方啊 269 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,884 那蠻好聽,你為什麼在這裡? 270 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:27,843 我來製造氣氛 271 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,555 好了,廢物,你可以打一通電話 272 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,559 等等,我不能打給美枝 273 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:38,812 這是我在世上和她一起過的最後一天 我不能把她拖下來蹚這灘渾水 274 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,731 我知道了…我可以打給巴尼 275 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:46,612 沒人在家,沒有人在,家裡沒人 276 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,949 那些自以為有創意的電話錄音機 277 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,036 巴尼,真的是謝謝 我剛剛浪費了唯一一通電話在你的… 278 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,873 等一下,我在,我在家,哦嗨,荷馬 279 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,541 巴尼,你要幫我,我被警察拉 280 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,086 真的嗎?嘿,荷馬,你看窗外面 281 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,340 嗨,鄰居,我看到你了 282 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,801 趕快過來這裡,記得帶50塊來保我 283 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,469 50塊? 284 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,054 你幹了什麼?殺了法官嗎? 285 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,265 我突然點生50塊出來? 286 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,687 意大利薄餅 287 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:25,943 為什麼我們全部都要盛裝打扮? 288 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,529 因為偶爾盛裝打扮食晚餐很好玩 289 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,280 我們為什麼要用瓷器吃飯? 290 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,117 因為偶爾用好的瓷器吃飯很好玩 291 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,284 那為什麼要點蠟燭? 292 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,286 偶爾點個蠟燭也很好玩 293 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,705 我們為什麼要等老豆回來才吃? 294 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:41,333 因為我們愛你們的老豆 而且很喜歡他的陪伴 295 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,419 我們等老豆回來真正的原因是什麼? 296 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:49,091 哈,48個7 297 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,927 我說,通常生鏽的錢我們是不收的 298 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,598 你都要死了還不打算去一下老莫那裡 299 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,435 和你的兄弟們喝最後一杯嗎? 300 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:03,480 嘿巴尼,聽住,我有列在我的清單上 301 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,358 還有很多其他事我今天本來打算要做 但都來不及 302 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,152 嘿,我的老闆 303 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,405 史密瑟斯,看看那個紅髮妹身上 那兩個寶貝實在太正 304 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,240 Baby,就是這樣 305 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,658 動動腳踝 306 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,285 搖落搖落啦,老闆 307 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,704 伯恩斯,你同我收皮啦! 308 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,372 那可惡的傢伙是誰? 309 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,083 那是…荷馬辛普森,老闆 310 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,002 他是7G區其中一個蠢材 311 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,211 辛普森是嗎? 312 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,173 星期一早上9點叫他到我辦公司來 313 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,925 我們再看看到底是誰要收皮 314 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,636 哇,超級好彩 315 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,973 想一想我居然差一點 在還沒叫老闆收皮前就死了 316 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,476 吼,荷馬,拜託一下 317 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,728 最後一杯啤酒你一定要飲番杯 318 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:43,979 拜託 319 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,357 我要先打給美枝 320 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,821 喂,老莫小酒館 羅伯洛伊調酒的發源地 321 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:55,699 西門在嗎?最後一個字慶 322 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,742 等等 323 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,453 這裡有人姓慶嗎? 324 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,455 西門慶 325 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,875 嘿大家,我要找西門慶 326 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,087 噢,等等,死去慶? 327 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,756 聽住,你這個混帳垃圾小王八蛋 328 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:14,760 要是讓我抓到你 我一定用螺絲批挖你的眼睛出來 329 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,181 噢,打不進去 330 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,101 老莫,再來一杯最後的啤酒,謝了 331 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,189 大家,安靜點,我有一些遺言想說 332 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,193 我從來沒有告訴過你們 但是偶爾我在上班的時候 333 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,239 只要一想到你們就會覺得很開心 頻率高到我甚至覺得… 334 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,659 吼,用講的沒辦法表達 老莫,我愛你 335 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,244 拜託,有人在看欸 336 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,413 -你最好真的快死了 -巴尼,我愛你 337 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,165 哇,好鬼佬哦 338 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,835 來吧,巴尼,我要趕回家了 339 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,339 快點,巴尼,快一點 340 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,008 我已經很用力轉了不能再快了 341 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,261 我實在不可以等了 342 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:58,846 美枝,等等我 343 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,848 我要回來了,寶貝 344 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,022 噢,他到底去哪裡了啊? 345 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:12,860 美枝 346 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,194 荷馬 347 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,698 沒時間解釋了,愛你 348 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,827 荷馬,我今天下午寫了首詩要給你 349 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,872 -叫做“致我的老公" -好啦 350 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,375 “黑暗的烏雲正逐漸凝聚…" 351 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,751 吼,美枝,放過我吧 352 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,295 “很快將降下傾盆大雨 353 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,213 我的愛人將離我而去 354 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,425 但首先請聽聽我的呼喚 355 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,428 我將永遠愛你至死不渝 356 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,307 我的唯一,我的摯愛,我的全部" 357 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,017 寫得太美了 358 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:01,533 瑪姬,再見 359 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,952 希望妳永遠都一樣甜美可愛 360 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,040 麗莎,再見 361 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,918 我知道妳一定會成為我的驕傲 362 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,463 巴特,再見 363 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,633 你的床單很好看 364 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,472 聖經 365 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,598 (聖經) 366 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,807 有聲書? 367 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,852 哇,是賴瑞金錄的 368 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,899 嗨,我是賴瑞金 369 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,611 起初,神創造天地 370 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,321 地是空虛混沌… 371 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:43,367 以利亞撒生非尼哈 非尼哈生亞比書… 372 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,620 生亞希瑪斯,亞希瑪斯生… 373 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,874 繼續,亞瑪利雅生亞希突 亞希突生… 374 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,670 沙龍生希勒家… 375 00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,922 他必使父親的心轉向兒女 376 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,882 兒女的心轉向父親 377 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,760 免得我來咒詛遍地 378 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,011 好了,就到這裡 379 00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,722 我的老朋友杜克西佛在旁邊等了 我們要去整杯咖啡 380 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,057 再喝點猶太丸子湯 381 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,142 順便提提,我很愛聖安東尼奧馬刺隊 382 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,728 如果你今年有投注美國職籃賽事的話 我覺得他們會是最後大贏家 383 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,772 那我想之後好像沒什麼 可以說的了,除了… 384 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,200 荷馬? 385 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,286 荷馬? 386 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,334 噢,荷馬… 387 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:37,296 荷馬… 388 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:42,592 他的口水…還是暖的 389 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,346 他還活著 390 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,683 荷馬,快起身,你沒有死 391 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,686 -美枝,停手,不要吵 -起來,你沒死,你還活著 392 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,021 妳說什麼? 393 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,398 -你還活著 -我還活著 394 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:59,526 我沒死,真的是太開心啦 395 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:04,114 從今以後 我發誓一定要過著充實的人生 396 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,868 (少鹽豬皮) 397 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:10,078 全倒,連續三次了 398 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,705 是真的,我們再看一次重播 399 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,457 好的,要來了,他出手了 400 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,042 注意他出色的手腕動作 401 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,128 差一點就要洗溝了 402 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,504 這時來了一個巧妙的迴旋 403 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:30,932 -哎呀,可惜沒有全倒 -哎唷 404 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,560 話說,如果他這次成功的話 差距就來到40瓶 405 00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:35,937 但是如你所見 這場比賽離結束還久得很 406 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:39,524 對啊,離結束還要一陣子 但他的方法從一開始就錯了 407 00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:42,277 -就我看來的話 -不過吉姆,他是個難以捉摸的球手 408 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,071 -對啊 -他常常會在 409 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,655 第七、八或第九格的時候自爆… 410 00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:55,165 -伊利諾州的莫林 -那其實是密西根州的龐帝克 411 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,709 -38瓶進入到第八格 -是,沒錯 412 00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:59,628 好了,他現在向前走準備丟球了 413 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,589 事實上他第二次一定要至少打出全倒