1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:19,060 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:43,334 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,380 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,096 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,771 (tires screech) 10 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,776 -Aah! -(tires screech) 11 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,502 A dash of rosemary, 12 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,963 a smidgen of thyme, a pinch of marjoram... 13 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,884 You know, Marge, you make the best pork chops in the whole world. 14 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,261 Oh, now Homer, they're nothing special. 15 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,514 The extra ingredient is care. 16 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,516 A sprinkle of chervil 17 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,184 half a teaspoon of turmeric 18 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,978 and a whisper of M.S.G. 19 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,397 Marge, I'm gonna build you a spice rack. 20 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,109 You don't have to go to all that trouble just for me. 21 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,987 It's no trouble-- I got a whole garage full of tools I never use. 22 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:57,200 Hey, kids! I spy Itchy and Scratchy off the port bow. 23 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,701 (chuckling) 24 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,662 -BART: Hey, down in front. -HOMER: Shut up, boy. 25 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,164 ♪ They fight and fight ♪ 26 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,707 ♪ They fight and fight and fight ♪ 27 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,251 ♪ Fight-fight-fight, fight-fight-fight ♪ 28 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,295 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 29 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,186 I knew all this stuff would come in handy someday. 30 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,938 Lets see now. 31 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,481 Ah, here it is-- 32 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,151 The Complete Handyman's Bookshelf, 33 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,903 Volume One: Spice Racks. 34 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:42,203 "Pick up a hammer." Hmm. 35 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,581 (mumbling) 36 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,874 (grunts) 37 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:49,002 It's not as easy as I thought it was. 38 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,962 (mumbling) 39 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,466 Ooh! (gasps) 40 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,844 Wow! 41 00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:58,845 ♪♪ (theme from "Psycho" starts) 42 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,388 (gasps) 43 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,848 (screaming) 44 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,122 Hey, Dad, can you move your head? 45 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,875 No, I can't. It's broken. 46 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,045 Hmm. Where would an innocent child get the idea 47 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,380 to attack her father with a mallet? 48 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,764 (laughing) 49 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,143 (screams) 50 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,148 ♪♪ (theme from "Psycho" playing) 51 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,441 (screams) 52 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,568 No, Maggie! Bad baby! 53 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,237 Keep her away from me, Marge! 54 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,113 She's got that crazy look in her eyes again! 55 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,827 MARGE: So, television's responsible. 56 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,121 Hey, we were watching that! 57 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,206 Mom, what are you doing? 58 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,290 Well, you won't be watching 59 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,000 these cartoons anymore. Ever. 60 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,044 But, Mom if you take our cartoons away, 61 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,089 we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots. 62 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,925 Really? What kind of robots? 63 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,344 I heard about the cartoons. 64 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,972 -Tough break, man. -Thanks, Nelson. 65 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,725 Hey, what if you watch "Itchy and Scratchy" over at my house? 66 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,980 Hey, that's just crazy enough to work. 67 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,690 You heard me. 68 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,234 I won't be in for the rest of the week. 69 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:40,697 I told you. My baby beat me up. 70 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:45,285 Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Wise guy. 71 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,120 Hmm. I wonder why Bart and Lisa 72 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,372 are so late getting home from school? 73 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,166 (laughing) 74 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,679 (laughing) 75 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,433 Hey, how come you can watch cartoons 76 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,559 but the kids can't? 77 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,185 -Because. -Because why? 78 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,313 -Because I said so. -Because you said so why? 79 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,607 -Homer, I'm trying to work. -Oh. What are you doing? 80 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,569 I'm cataloguing the violence in these cartoons. 81 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:23,531 I don't think adults have ever actually sat down and watched them before. 82 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,325 (cries out) 83 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,418 (cries out) 84 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,254 What kind of warped human being would find that funny? 85 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,548 (laughing) 86 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,467 (groaning) 87 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,427 This is the kind of entertainment 88 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,887 they think is suitable for younger 89 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,889 and more impressionable viewers? 90 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,183 Yeah, but what are you going to do? 91 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,018 I'll tell you what I'm going to do. 92 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,936 I'm going to write a letter! 93 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,814 "Dear purveyors 94 00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,526 "of senseless violence: 95 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,488 "I know this may sound silly at first, 96 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,698 "but I believe that the cartoons 97 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,909 "you show to our children 98 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:12,080 "are influencing their behavior in a negative way. 99 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:16,542 "Please try to tone down the psychotic violence 100 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,295 "in your otherwise fine programming. 101 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,714 Yours truly, Marge Simpson." 102 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,758 Take a letter, Miss White. 103 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,344 "Dear valued viewer, thank you for taking an interest 104 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,137 "in the 'Itchy and Scratchy' program. 105 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,431 "Enclosed is a personally autographed photo 106 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,892 "of America's favorite cat-and-mouse team to add to your collection. 107 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,770 "In regards to your specific comments about the show, 108 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,313 "our research indicates 109 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,191 "that one person cannot make a difference, 110 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,901 "no matter how big a screwball she is. 111 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,945 So let me close by saying..." 112 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,030 "And the horse I rode in on"? 113 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,867 I'll show them what one screwball can do! 114 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,727 Everybody's looking at us, Marge. 115 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,605 That's what we want them to do, Homer. 116 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,983 Oh. Hmm. 117 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,694 HOMER: Well, how long are we going to have to be doing this? 118 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,446 MARGE: Well, I've never changed the world before 119 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,073 so I don't know how long it takes, exactly. 120 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,533 But if enough people take an interest... 121 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:34,537 Hello, Marge. Oh, what is S.N.U.H.? 122 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,706 -Snuh. -Oh. 123 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,750 It stands for "Springfieldians for Non-Violence 124 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,503 -Understanding and Helping." -Hmm. 125 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,339 I've started a crusade against cartoon violence. 126 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,467 -Mm-hmm. -I can protect my own children, 127 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,677 but there are many others whose minds are being warped 128 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,097 -every afternoon at 4. -Oh. 129 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,724 That reminds me. 130 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,019 I got to get over to Milhouse's and... play sports. 131 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,605 -All right. -And I'm going to Janie's again. 132 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,356 We're going to be, um, 133 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,275 making the most of our childhood years. 134 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,736 -Have fun. -BOTH: We will. 135 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,905 (Bart and Lisa laugh) 136 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,076 And what happens when a child grows up 137 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,371 with insanely violent role models like these? 138 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:21,209 The answer is all around you. 139 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,545 How many of you were hit on the head with mallets last week? 140 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,713 (crowd murmurs) 141 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,757 MAN: Yeah! 142 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,050 Yeah! 143 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,927 (cheering) 144 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,515 I didn't know they still made TV dinners this bad. 145 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,808 -After dinner, can I watch cartoons? -No! 146 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,521 -There's peas in my fruit cobbler! -There's peas everywhere. 147 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,149 Well, I guess I'll just go and watch some cartoons. 148 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,110 No! I'm sorry about the dinners. 149 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,820 I'll make up for it tomorrow night. 150 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,697 Hey, who's up for some cartoons? 151 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,449 -No one! -All right. 152 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,701 Hey, tomorrow night, how about baking 153 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,120 some of your patented pork chops? 154 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,330 Sure. 155 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,499 Oh, dear, I can't. 156 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,001 I've got three protest rallies tomorrow. 157 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,504 D'oh! 20 million women in the world 158 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,798 and I had to marry Jane Fonda. 159 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,552 Hi, kids! (laughs) Guess what, Sideshow Mel? 160 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,844 (whistling) 161 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,847 It's time for "Itchy and Scratchy." 162 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,891 (booing) 163 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,228 Hey, settle down, boys and girls 164 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,522 or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend 165 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,857 Corporal Punishment again. 166 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,360 -(booing) -Please, stop it! 167 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,237 What's going-- Who are you people? 168 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,697 What do we want? 169 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,533 Substantially less violence in children's programming! 170 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,326 -When do we want it? -Now! 171 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,537 No! You're ruining the show! 172 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,289 (angry chanting) 173 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,207 Stop! 174 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,625 Please, stop. 175 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,212 Oh, please, please, be quiet. 176 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,382 I'm trying to earn a living here, alright? Please, stop! 177 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,717 (nervous chuckle) 178 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,218 That woman, 179 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,221 That screwball Marge Simpson, 180 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,723 we've got to stop her. 181 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,516 -But how? -Drop an anvil on her? 182 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,976 Hit her on the head with a piano. 183 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,477 Stuff her full of T.N.T. 184 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,438 Then throw a match down her throat and run? 185 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,482 All your fancy degrees, and that's the best you can do? 186 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,277 -You make me sick. -(murmurs of agreement) 187 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,571 (crowd chanting) Substantially less violence in children's programming! 188 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,948 -When do we want it? -Now! 189 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,409 Substantially less violence in children's programming! 190 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,995 Eh. 191 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,413 Hmm... 192 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,873 Heh, I'm so funny. 193 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,502 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight ♪ 194 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,962 (laughing) You know, 195 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,881 some of these stories are pretty good. 196 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,216 I never knew mice lived such interesting lives. 197 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,427 So much needless brutality. 198 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,804 I don't know if I'm having any impact at all. 199 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,557 ♪♪ ("Take Me Out to the Ball Game" ) 200 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,851 Don't do that! Don't do that! 201 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,103 Hey! Don't do that! 202 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,109 (Homer laughing) 203 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,654 Take that, you dumb squirrel! 204 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,572 (phone ringing) 205 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,033 Where do they get their ideas? 206 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,451 What is it? 207 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,995 What? "Smartline"? 208 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,373 Yes, I've heard of your late-night panel discussion show. 209 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,832 -Well, I'd love to! -(slams phone) 210 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,710 MAN: "Smartline"... 211 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,379 with our local Emmy Award-winning host 212 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,963 Kent Brockman. 213 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,465 Hello, I'm Kent Brockman 214 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,051 and welcome to another edition of "Smartline." 215 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,553 Are cartoons too violent for children? 216 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,430 Most people would say "No, of course not. 217 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,224 What kind of stupid question is that?" 218 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,101 But one woman says yes. 219 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,811 And she's here with us tonight. Mrs. Marge Simpson. 220 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,229 There she is! 221 00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,772 Also with us for this 222 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,359 "animated" discussion, heh heh, are Roger Myers, 223 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,152 chairman of the Board of Itchy & Scratchy International. 224 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,112 Thank you. 225 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,530 Krusty the Klown, whose delightful program 226 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,740 brings us the antics of Itchy and Scratchy 227 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,242 every afternoon at 4. 228 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,536 -Hi, Kent! (laughs) -(horn honks) 229 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,163 And joining us live via satellite from Vienna, 230 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,916 the home of Sigmund Freud, the world's most famous psychiatrist, 231 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,335 to give us an insight into the human mind, 232 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,921 -Dr. Marvin Monroe. -Hiya. 233 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,340 Now, first, let's see what all the excitement is about. 234 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,634 Here's an example of the work currently being turned out 235 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,845 at I & S Studios. 236 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:04,974 ♪♪ ("Funeral March of a Marionette") 237 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,728 (screaming) 238 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,813 (chuckling quietly) 239 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,482 Hilarious. Now what in the world is wrong with that, Mrs. Simpson? 240 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,526 -MYERS: There's nothing wrong with it. -Excuse me. 241 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,944 Excuse me, he was addressing me. 242 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,112 I know. There's nothing wrong with it. 243 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905 Excuse me, there is! 244 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,907 I think that it's a bad influence on children. 245 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,409 Oh, give me a break! 246 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,662 I think that is a bunch of baloney, and here's why. 247 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,831 In preparing for this debate, I did a little research, 248 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,375 and I discovered a startling thing. 249 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,002 There was violence in the past 250 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,296 long before cartoons were invented. 251 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,630 I see. Fascinating. 252 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,757 Yeah, and there was something called 253 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,383 the Crusades, for instance. 254 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,510 Tremendous violence, many people killed! 255 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,928 The darned thing went on for 30 years. 256 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,264 And this was before cartoons were invented? 257 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,099 That's right, Kent. 258 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,018 -So much for your viewpoint. -Hmm. 259 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,269 Dr. Marvin Monroe in Vienna, 260 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,354 would you care to comment on all this? 261 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,066 Well Kent, to me, the hijinks of a few comic characters 262 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,985 absolutely pale in comparison 263 00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,320 with the crippling emotional problems 264 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,280 a psychiatrist runs into every day. 265 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:04,158 I'm referring here to women who love too much, 266 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,286 fear of winning, sex-aholism, stuff like that. 267 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,330 So you have no professional objection 268 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,123 to "Itchy and Scratchy?" 269 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,919 No, not at all. In fact, one of my guilty little pleasures 270 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,088 is to snuggle up with a big bucket of buttered popcorn, 271 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,550 dim the lights, turn on "Itchy and Scratchy," and laugh myself silly. 272 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,469 And what the hell is wrong with that? 273 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,930 Not a thing. Now, for another opinion... 274 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:28,641 (laughing) Hi, kids! 275 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,352 (chuckling) Krusty, please. We're giving you an opportunity 276 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,479 to participate in a serious discussion here. 277 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,231 Oh, I'm sorry, Kent. 278 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,733 It's just when the camera gets on me, I get-- 279 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,902 Hey! Hey! (laughing, horn squeaks) 280 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,821 -Krusty! -(horn squeaks) 281 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,989 Well, it looks like we're not going to settle this tonight. 282 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:47,368 Mrs. Simpson, in the nine seconds we have left, 283 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,994 can you summarize your position for us? 284 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,164 Yes. I'd like to ask all the parents in Springfield 285 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,291 who are concerned about this to write in 286 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,837 and let the cartoon makers know how you feel. Thank you. 287 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,713 I don't believe this. 288 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:03,259 "I will never watch your show, buy any of your products, 289 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,262 or brake if I see you crossing the street." 290 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,514 Wow! That's cold. 291 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,143 MYERS: "Dear sleaze merchant..." 292 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,771 Oh, come on, that hurts. 293 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,817 Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken. 294 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,448 (humming) 295 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,205 -(phone ringing) -Hello? 296 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,416 -Is this Marge Simpson? -Yes. 297 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,961 The Marge Simpson who fixed it so cartoons can't be violent anymore? 298 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,212 Yes. 299 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,923 This is Myers. I'm here with the writers. 300 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,175 Listen, you're so smart, how do we end this picture? 301 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,595 Hmm, well, what's the problem you're having? 302 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,973 Okay, here it is. Itchy just stole Scratchy's ice cream cone, and-- 303 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,766 Oh, make it a pie. Pies are easier to draw. 304 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,268 Okay, a pie! 305 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,771 -Anyway, Scratchy is understandably upset, -Uh-huh. 306 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,648 so we figured he could, you know, 307 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,400 just grab Itchy and toss him in a bucket of acid. 308 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,443 Oh, dear! 309 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,528 But then we remembered 310 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,572 that this might be interpreted as violence, 311 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,408 which is morally wrong now, thanks to you. 312 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,659 So what's your big idea? 313 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,578 How do we end this? 314 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,997 Let's see, um... 315 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,793 Oh, couldn't Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? 316 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,670 Then they would both have pie. 317 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,176 It's different, I'll give you that. 318 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,845 ANNOUNCER: It's a tool that every home handyman needs. 319 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,223 It's a jigsaw. It's a power drill. It's a wood-turning lathe. 320 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,477 It's an asphalt spreader. It's 67 tools in one. 321 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,772 How much would you pay for a machine that could do all this? 322 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,565 -$1,000. -Oh, don't answer yet. 323 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,525 -Oh sorry. -Because you also get-- 324 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,444 HOMER: Hey, I was watching that. 325 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,654 It's time for Krusty. 326 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,530 You mean we can watch cartoons again, Mom? 327 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,032 Yes, dear, all you want. 328 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,034 -All right! -All right! 329 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,869 Turn it up. 330 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,414 KRUSTY: Hey kids. It's time for "Itchy and Scratchy." 331 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,960 ♪ They love, they share ♪ 332 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,670 ♪ They share and love and share ♪ 333 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,506 ♪ Love, love, love, share, share, share ♪ 334 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,550 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪ 335 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,641 (chairs squeaking) 336 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,976 Lemonade? 337 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,063 Please. 338 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,273 I made it just for you. 339 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,818 You are my best friend. 340 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:30,322 Itchy and Scratchy seem to have lost their edge. 341 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,117 Well, I think it conveys a very nice message of sharing. 342 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,743 I think it sucks. 343 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,079 -♪♪ ("Psycho" theme) -(screams) 344 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,747 Oh. Hey, thank you, Maggie. 345 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,165 Mmm, this really hits the spot. 346 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,917 Hmm. Doesn't it, though? 347 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,086 You make really good lemonade, Scratchy. 348 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,213 (chuckles) Thank you, Itchy. 349 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,759 Wasn't that funny, boys and girls? 350 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,679 Well? Wasn't it? 351 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,682 Aren't you going to watch the rest of your cute cartoons? 352 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,350 Nah, come on, Lise. 353 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,728 Maybe there's something else to do on this planet. 354 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,646 ♪♪ 355 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:12,406 But the third bowl of porridge was just right. 356 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,704 (playing Beethoven's Sixth "Pastoral" Symphony) 357 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,685 (dog barking) 358 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,766 Hi, kids! 359 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,435 (chuckles) 360 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,146 Uh... is this Saturday? 361 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,690 So, what did you kids do today? 362 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,317 Me and the guys went fishing. 363 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,611 I almost caught a catfish this big! 364 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:35,114 -Oh. -And Janey and I went bird-watching. 365 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,075 -We saw a grackle. -Oh, that's nice, dear. 366 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,410 C'mon, Lise. Let's go finish our soap box racers. 367 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,955 Okay. May we please be excused? 368 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,457 -Sure. -(chuckles) Wow! 369 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,543 What great kids. 370 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,503 This is a golden age, Marge. 371 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:52,548 And the parents of Springfield owe it all to you. 372 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:56,885 Hmm. I didn't really expect things to change this much. 373 00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,305 Well, I always knew you'd change the world for the better. 374 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,851 This will be the art event of the century. 375 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,520 The greatest masterpiece of Italian renaissance. 376 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,313 Michelangelo's "David" 377 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,691 on a coast-to-coast tour of the United States. 378 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:13,360 Sir, which cities will be included in your itinerary? 379 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,987 -New York. -Mm-hmm. 380 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,196 -Springfield. -Yes. 381 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,739 And if we have time, 382 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,074 -Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles. -Oh. 383 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,160 (angry chatter) 384 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,536 (snoring) 385 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,996 (knocking) 386 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,498 Marge, get the door. 387 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,167 What in the world? 388 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,710 (pounding intensifies) 389 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,005 Get dressed, Marge. 390 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,756 You've got to lead our protest 391 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,717 against this abomination. 392 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,261 Hmm, but that's Michelangelo's "David." 393 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,513 -It's a masterpiece. -It's filth. 394 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,515 It graphically portrays parts of the human body 395 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,268 which, practical as they may be, are evil. 396 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,769 But I like that statue. 397 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,731 I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity. 398 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,399 Come on, girls. 399 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,239 What is this all about? What do you people want? 400 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,951 We want you to get your big Italian butt out of here. 401 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,746 MAN: "Smartline," with our local Emmy award-winning host 402 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,331 Kent Brockman. 403 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,999 Is it a masterpiece 404 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,293 or just some guy with his pants down? 405 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,920 That's our topic tonight on "Smartline." 406 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,714 Now, Mrs. Simpson, why are you against this statue? 407 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,092 I'm not. I think everyone in Springfield should see it. 408 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,095 Wait a minute. Aren't you Marge Simpson, the wacko? 409 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,305 (groaning) 410 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,140 -Yes and no. -MAN: Hold it! 411 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,851 How can you be for one form of freedom of expression, 412 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,063 like our big naked friend over there, and be against 413 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,565 another form like "Itchy and Scratchy?" 414 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,651 -(groans) -Good question. 415 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,987 Well, I guess I can't, which is a shame, 416 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,822 because I really hate those cartoons. 417 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,407 Oh yeah? Well, what do you have to say 418 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,201 to all those Marge Simpson wannabees out there 419 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:47,412 who wish to suppress David's doodle? 420 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,956 Hmm, I don't know. 421 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,667 I guess one person can make a difference, 422 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,086 but most of the time, they probably shouldn't. 423 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,755 Well, I guess that settles that. 424 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,173 I'd like to alert our affiliates 425 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,092 that we will be ending our show early tonight. 426 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,718 Join us tomorrow, when our topic will be 427 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,388 "Religion: which is the one true faith?" 428 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:10,102 ♪♪ (playing sad version of Beethoven's Sixth Symphony) 429 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:27,452 (screaming) 430 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,497 (laughing) 431 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,382 Well, there he is. 432 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:44,094 -Michelangelo's "Dave." -"David." 433 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,638 Oh. What's wrong, Marge? 434 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:50,934 Ah, Homie. Here the kids have a chance to see a great work of art, 435 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,813 and instead, they're home watching a cat and mouse disembowel each other. 436 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:56,732 Hey, don't worry, Marge. 437 00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,569 Pretty soon, every boy and girl in Springfield Elementary School 438 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,487 is gonna come and see this thing. 439 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,822 Really? Why? 440 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,490 They're forcing them! 441 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,367 (laughing) 442 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,162 Oh. Well, isn't that nice. 443 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,752 ♪♪ 444 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,297 Shh! 445 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:08,011 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.