1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,672 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:18,643 -(chalk screeches) -(bell ringing) 3 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,108 (work whistle blowing) 4 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:31,031 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,423 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,685 (car horn honks) 9 00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:07,776 -Aah! -(tires screeching) 10 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,863 Hey, you punk, you... 11 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,211 (humming "We Gather Together") 12 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,347 ♪♪ ("Washington Post March" playing on TV ) 13 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:43,645 (muffled screaming ) 14 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,106 Bart! Stop fighting with your sister! 15 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,359 -She took my glue. -It's not yours, Bart. 16 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,528 This is family glue. 17 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,364 Stop it, you two. This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly, 18 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,617 or I'll take your glue away and then no one will have any glue to glue with! 19 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,160 Dad, this isn't about glue. 20 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,121 It's about territoriality. 21 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,665 He only wants the glue because I'm using it. 22 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,917 -Oh, yeah? Prove it. -Here. 23 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,293 Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue. 24 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,677 TV ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh, here comes our friend, Bullwinkle J. Moose. 25 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,555 Bullwinkle's antlers sprung a leak. 26 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,516 Uh-oh, looks like ol' Bullwinkle's kind of got a taste of his own medicine. 27 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,560 -He certainly did, Bill. -Wait. 28 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,271 Wait, what did-- Did what I say make sense? 29 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,981 Well, no, not really, Bill. 30 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,899 Boy, now I know how the pilgrims felt. 31 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,693 What are you talking about, Bill? 32 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:32,944 Who the hell is that? 33 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,529 -Bullwinkle. -Who? 34 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,447 Wait a minute. Who's that? 35 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,408 Underdog. Don't you know anything? 36 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,034 I know it wouldn't hurt 'em 37 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,786 to use some cartoons made in the last 50 years. 38 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,454 Son, this is a tradition. 39 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,123 You start building a balloon 40 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,792 for every flash in the pan cartoon character 41 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,003 you'll turn the parade into a farce. 42 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,851 Maggie, I'm about to unveil my centerpiece to the family. 43 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:08,563 It's a tribute to the trailblazing women who made our country great. 44 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:13,318 See? There's Georgia O'Keeffe, Susan B. Anthony. 45 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,278 And this is Marjory Stoneman Douglas. 46 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,447 I'm sure you haven't heard of her. 47 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,742 But she worked her whole life to preserve the Florida Everglades. 48 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,327 As one of the Simpson women, 49 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,537 would you like to contribute something to it? 50 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,584 Oh, thank you. 51 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,462 Honey, please, you're in the way. 52 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,713 Can't I help you, Mom? 53 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,089 Well, Okay. 54 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,175 Let's see. Can you do the cranberry sauce? 55 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,927 Yeah! Where is it? 56 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,929 The can is in the cupboard on the bottom shelf. 57 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,640 -Here? -No, no, no. The other shelf. 58 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,767 Oh! Got it. Now what? 59 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,061 -Open the can. -No problemo. 60 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,980 -Where's the can opener? -It's in the second drawer 61 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,398 from the right. 62 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,400 No, no, no, no. The other one. 63 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,027 Oh, I got you. 64 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,905 It's broken, Mom. 65 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,740 Mom, it's broken. 66 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,825 ♪ Mom, it's broken, Mom, it's broken ♪ 67 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,827 ♪ Mom, it's broken, Mom, it's broken ♪ 68 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,287 I don't think that it's broken, honey. 69 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,498 Here, let me try. 70 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,959 There you go. 71 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,045 (slurping) 72 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:16,714 Ah, cranberry sauce, a la Bart. 73 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,884 MARGE: Just stick it in the refrigerator when you're done, Bart. 74 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,637 Bart? 75 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:23,846 (sighs) 76 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,976 See, Maggie, those silver and blue guys 77 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,019 are the Dallas Cowboys. 78 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,481 They're Daddy's favorite team, and he wants them to lose 79 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,733 by less than five and a half points. Understand? 80 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,486 SPORTSCASTER: Kogen's got Wolidarsky open way down field. 81 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,989 And it's complete! Ooh, what a hit. 82 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,949 SPORTSCASTER #2: Oh yeah, he's out cold, Gill. 83 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,367 GILL: Yes sir. Looks like they'll be feeding him 84 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,327 Thanksgiving dinner through a tube. 85 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,329 SPORTSCASTER #2: Heh-heh. If they can fit a turkey in there-- 86 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,580 GILL: Get on with it. 87 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,165 Homer, shouldn't you go pick up Grampa? 88 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,209 Half time, Marge, half time. 89 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,336 -(knock on door) -SELMA: Ding-dong. Here comes the cavalry. 90 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,046 -D'oh! -Homer, you promised 91 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,548 to be nice to my sisters. 92 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,133 I know. I will. 93 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,931 -You brought food. -Just a few things. 94 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,308 Swedish meatballs. 95 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,476 Mm-hmm. And my trout almondine. 96 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,438 You knew that I was cooking a turkey. 97 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,107 -Which is fine. -More power to you. 98 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:19,152 It's just that some people find your turkey a little dry. 99 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,946 Mm-hmm. And if they want an option, they'll have it. 100 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,158 -(groans) -Hi, Patty. Mwah! 101 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,618 Hi, Selma. Mwah. 102 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,121 Well, it's good to see you. 103 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,498 Well, got to pick up my old man. Bye. 104 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,250 So insincere. 105 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,752 I don't know how she puts up with him. 106 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:41,174 (angrily imitating Selma and Patty) 107 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,217 (radio stations tuning) 108 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:46,596 ANNOUNCER: And now, get set for our fabulous half time show 109 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,223 featuring the well-groomed young go-getters 110 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,142 of Hooray For Everything. 111 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,019 Oh, I love those kids. 112 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,104 They got such a great attitude. 113 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,731 Ladies and gentlemen, 114 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,275 Hooray For Everything invites you to join them 115 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,903 in a salute to the greatest hemisphere on Earth. 116 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,155 The Western Hemisphere. 117 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:07,658 The dancingest hemisphere of all. 118 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,244 ♪ Do da do da do da da ♪ 119 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,872 ♪ Do da do da do da da ♪ 120 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,916 ♪ Dancin', dancin', dancin' ♪ 121 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,543 ♪ Do da do da do da da... ♪ 122 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:25,426 Now, before we sit down to our delicious turkey puree, 123 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,678 I have some happy news. 124 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,848 The following people have relatives who wish they could be here today: 125 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,394 Antonowski, Conroy, Falcone, 126 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,522 Martin, Thorson and Walsh. 127 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,107 (beeps) 128 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,943 Oh, and Mrs. Spencer. 129 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,403 You too. 130 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,947 Oh, I knew they wouldn't forget me. 131 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,740 Come on, Dad, let's get outta here. 132 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,784 Calm down, boy. What's your hurry? 133 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,954 -This place is depressing. -Hey, I live here! 134 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:57,625 Oh! Well, I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it. Let's go. 135 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,055 Mom, you made it. 136 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,559 -How are you? -I have laryngitis. 137 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:18,729 It hurts to talk, so I'll just say one thing. 138 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,982 You never do anything right. 139 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,154 ♪ Do da do da do da da ♪ 140 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,448 ♪ Do da do da do da da ♪ 141 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,242 ♪ Dancin', dancin', dancin'! ♪ 142 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:33,244 -MAN: Thank you! -WOMAN: You're super! 143 00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,413 MAN: Be good to each other! 144 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,999 ANNOUNCER: In the Silver Dome, now ablaze with flashbulbs 145 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,960 as Hooray For Everything leaves the field. 146 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,087 Of course, a stadium's much too big 147 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:46,215 for flash pictures to work, but nobody seems to care. 148 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,345 That's no way to lay a fire. Where's your kindling? 149 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,056 This thing's going to be blowing any time now. 150 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,684 -Even a caveman could start a fire. -D'oh! 151 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,353 MARGE: Dinner! Dinnertime, everybody! Dinner! 152 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,481 The hell with this. 153 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:06,360 Okay, Lisa, we're ready for your centerpiece. 154 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:10,656 (gasps) Lisa, my goodness. 155 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,202 That's very impressive. 156 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,912 Holy moly! 157 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,790 That's the biggest... one of those I ever saw. 158 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,251 Hmm. I always said she was gifted. 159 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,754 Definitely from our side of the family, right, Mom? 160 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,297 Leave me alone. 161 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,798 How long did that take you, honey? 162 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,675 I couldn't tell you how many hours. 163 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,469 It was a labor of love. 164 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,804 It's my homage to some American heroes 165 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,307 who may not have fought in any wars but who nevertheless-- 166 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,477 (singing fanfare ) 167 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,855 Speaking of heroes, here's mine-- Tom Turkey. 168 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,398 -(chuckling) -(electric knife whirrs) 169 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,610 -Unh. Yikes, what is that? -It's the centerpiece, Bart. 170 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,278 Well, it's taking up valuable real estate. 171 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,739 -Hey, Bart, stop it! -Move it or lose it, Toots. 172 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,449 -Mom! -Now just a minute. 173 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,825 I'm sure there's room for both. 174 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,745 (straining) 175 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,288 Bart, you're wrecking it! 176 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,458 Let go! I worked forever on this! 177 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,504 Ooh. 178 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,758 (screaming) 179 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,718 -Hey, that got her going. -Bitchin'. 180 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,223 Bart! 181 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,475 You don't even care! You don't even care! 182 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,857 (crying) 183 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,442 -(door slams) -All right, Bart, 184 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,194 That's it! Go to your room! Now! 185 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,196 Okay. I'll take some white meat and stuffing to go. 186 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,032 And send up the pumpkin pie in about 20 minutes. 187 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,660 -I said, now! -Mom, do I have to? 188 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,203 Yes, you do. 189 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,205 I hope you're happy, Bart! 190 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,292 You've ruined Thanksgiving! 191 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,549 BART: I didn't ruin Thanksgiving, she did. (mutters) 192 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,467 I always get blamed for everything. 193 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,263 And Lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power-- 194 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,974 the cleanest, safest energy source there is 195 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,476 except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. 196 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:06,314 Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments 197 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,190 of peace and love our family's experienced. 198 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,318 Well, not today. 199 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,237 Well, you saw what happened. Oh, Lord, be honest. 200 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:17,283 Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what? 201 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,368 ALL: Amen. 202 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,536 Worst prayer yet. 203 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,830 (saxophone playing) 204 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,498 D'oh! 205 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:27,543 Why don't I go talk to the children? 206 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,671 Don't worry. Marge'll fix everything. 207 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,549 (saxophone continues) 208 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,139 Honey, your food is getting cold. 209 00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,932 (sniffling) 210 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,684 That's all right. 211 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,771 Lisa, I'm very sorry about what happened. 212 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,398 Mom, I poured my heart into that centerpiece. 213 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,025 Things like that always happen in this family. 214 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,194 I've noticed that too. 215 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,945 Well, when you feel like coming down, 216 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:59,033 -we'll be there. -(keys clacking) 217 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,119 (playing saxophone) 218 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,998 Bart, you can come down to dinner 219 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,834 as soon as you're ready to apologize to your sister, 220 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,796 and it's going to be a real apology in front of everybody, 221 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,047 and you have to mean it. 222 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,675 Apologize? For what? 223 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,302 Clearing the table? Having a sense of humor? 224 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,514 They think they can starve an apology out of me? Ha! 225 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,103 Uh-oh. 226 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,854 I mean... good! 227 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,940 (grunting) 228 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,191 HOMER: Hey, what are you doing? 229 00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,527 No! Drop that drumstick. 230 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,736 -Bad dog. -(dog snarling) 231 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,154 Bad Santa's Little Helper. 232 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,907 Come on, give me that. Give-- Give me that. D'oh! 233 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,742 Okay, out you go! 234 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,286 -(whimpering) -Hey, boy, come here. 235 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,872 You're a good dog. Come on. 236 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,708 We don't need them to get a Thanksgiving dinner. 237 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,295 (barking) 238 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,716 (dog barks) 239 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,302 Wow! Swanky! 240 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,393 Mmm, delicious. 241 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,020 Smithers, every year you outstrip yourself 242 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,480 in succulence. 243 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,648 Oh, thank you, sir. 244 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,191 Oh! Would you like some candied yams? 245 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,069 Oh, no, I couldn't eat another bite. 246 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,113 Dispose of all this. I did however, 247 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,991 save room for your special pumpkin pie. 248 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,201 It's cooling on the windowsill, sir. 249 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,287 Mmm. 250 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,664 Stay here, boy. 251 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,040 (whimpering) 252 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,758 -(alarm beeping) -Uh-oh. 253 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,510 (alarm sounding) 254 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:48,184 -(camera whirring) -(alarm beeping) 255 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,269 Mr. Burns, this is base command. 256 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:53,439 The intruder appears to be a young male, age 9 to 11. 257 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,732 Release the hounds. 258 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,110 (barking, snarling) 259 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,570 (gasps) 260 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,322 Ahh! 261 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,698 (panicked grunting) 262 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:13,459 "I saw the best meals of my generation 263 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:17,338 "destroyed by the madness of my brother, 264 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:20,341 "my soul carved in slices 265 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,969 by spiky-haired demons." 266 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,680 (whimpering) 267 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,682 Don't worry, boy. We'll get some grub, 268 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,352 even if we have to pay for it. 269 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,981 -(stomach growling) -(dog growling) 270 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,650 (birds chirping) 271 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,613 -(machine gun fire) -(woman screaming) 272 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,825 Cool! The wrong side of the tracks! 273 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,993 -(gunshots) -(siren wailing) 274 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,663 (helicopter whirring overhead) 275 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,290 (police chatter on radio) 276 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,585 Twelve bucks? Hey, I can bleed. 277 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,591 WOMAN: Hey, you've got to be 18 to sell your blood. 278 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,134 Let's see some I.D. 279 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,178 BART: Here you go, dollface. 280 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,806 -WOMAN: Okay, Homer, just relax. -BART: Ow! 281 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,434 At the risk of losing my voice, 282 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,271 let me just say one more thing. 283 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,606 I'm sorry I came. 284 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,275 When is that boy going to apologize? 285 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,776 He sure is stubborn. 286 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,987 Homer was never stubborn. 287 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,990 He always folded instantly over anything. 288 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,993 It was as if he had no will of his own. 289 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,202 Isn't that true, Homer? 290 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,829 Yes, Dad. 291 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,959 Twelve bucks and a free cookie. What a country. 292 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,390 Cute little guy. 293 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,767 He's starting to come around. 294 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,102 You look a little pale, son. 295 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,771 We better get you some food. 296 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,149 Here we are. 297 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,402 (cheerful music playing) 298 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,699 All right! 299 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,451 Twelve big ones and free grub to boot. 300 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,119 Viva, skid row! 301 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,955 Hey! It's that anchor dude from Channel Six. 302 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,457 Oh, yeah. He's doing one of those 303 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,250 "Be thankful for what you got" stories. 304 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,712 ANCHOR: Oh, we have lots of names for these people-- 305 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:26,342 bums, deadbeats, losers, scums of the Earth. 306 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,093 We'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, 307 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,929 or, if they're already in the gutter, 308 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,764 to some other out-of-the-way place. 309 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,767 Oh, we have our reasons. 310 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,101 They're depressing. They wear ragged clothes. 311 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,646 They're "crazy." 312 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,564 -They smell bad. -Hey, listen, man... 313 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,399 Wait. I'm going somewhere with this. 314 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:46,320 So, every year on one lone, conscience-salving day 315 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:50,574 we toss these people a bone-- a turkey bone-- 316 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,743 and that's supposed to make it all better. 317 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,454 No, you won't find Freddy the Freeloader 318 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,915 or Emmett Kelly or even Charlie Chaplin's 319 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,500 beloved Little Tramp down here... 320 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,877 Pompous, blow-dried college boy. 321 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,713 You know, his girlfriend is the weather lady. 322 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,465 You don't say? 323 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,760 Everyone, Lisa wants to read us a poem she's written. 324 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,930 -Sounds interesting. -Okay. 325 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,099 "Howl of the Unappreciated" 326 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:18,018 by Lisa Simpson. Ahem. 327 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,770 I saw the best meal... 328 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,439 -(gasping) It's Bart! -What show is this? 329 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,733 KENT: And how long have you been on the streets? 330 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,151 -Going on five years, Kent. -Hmm. 331 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,070 KENT: Son, your family may be watching. 332 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,613 Is there anything you'd like to say to them? 333 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,156 Yes, there is, Kent. 334 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,075 Ha-ha! I didn't apologize! 335 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,953 Oh, no! My sweet, little Bart. 336 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,958 Hello, operator? Give me the number for 911. 337 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,629 Hey, thanks for your help, fellas. 338 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,799 This reporter smells another local Emmy. 339 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,926 Yeah, we're rooting for you, guy. 340 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,637 Hey, you got someplace to sleep tonight, Bart? 341 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,807 Yeah, there's this family I kinda hang out with. 342 00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:00,561 -Sounds pretty sweet. -Yeah, I guess it is. 343 00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:02,563 See you at Christmas. 344 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,738 Listen, guys, I was thinking, um, 345 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,741 unless you feel weird about taking money from a kid 346 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,159 I thought maybe... 347 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,161 I wouldn't feel weird, would you? 348 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,038 No, I'm comfortable with it. 349 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,001 Will you forget the report? 350 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,128 He's down at the rescue mission. 351 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,671 Nah, we checked. He's long gone. 352 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,173 Can you think of any reason he might have run away? 353 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,549 Anything at all? 354 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,469 Well, we did kind of yell at him 355 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,220 and sent him to his room 356 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,849 and tried to force him to apologize to his sister. 357 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,726 -Uh-huh. -MARGE: And... 358 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,062 I said he ruined Thanksgiving. 359 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,106 Oh, I see. 360 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,694 Best Thanksgiving ever, eh, boy? 361 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,489 Good-bye. 362 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,615 Sorry. I'm sure Bart will be back. 363 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,658 I would say something comforting, 364 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,078 but, you know, my voice. 365 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,164 Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by nine, 366 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,791 they declare me legally dead 367 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,709 and collect my insurance. 368 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:09,213 Homer, this is a terrible thing that's happened. 369 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,923 but we can't blame ourselves. 370 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,634 -We can and will. -Children need discipline. 371 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,136 You can ask any syndicated advice columnist. 372 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,931 Marge, are we ever gonna see him again? 373 00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:25,729 Hmm, should I or shouldn't I? 374 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,190 Hey everybody, I'm home. 375 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,235 Bart, you're home! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! 376 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,196 Oh, my special little guy. Mwah! 377 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,531 We were so worried. 378 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,074 Oh, it's great to have you back, boy. 379 00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:38,867 We were afraid we'd lost you. 380 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,161 Welcome back, Bart. 381 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,747 I'm sorry we had such a terrible fight. 382 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,874 Bart, isn't there something 383 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,668 you'd like to say to your sister? 384 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:50,045 Okay. I'm sorry too. 385 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,631 No, no, no, that won't do at all. 386 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,510 Yeah, boy. Get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness! 387 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,304 Yeah, beg me, Bart. Beg me! 388 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,516 Lisa, I beg of you, please, forgive me. 389 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:08,272 (evil laughter) 390 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,774 MARGE: Now we can blame him for everything! 391 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,110 -It's your fault I'm bald! -I'm sorry. 392 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,612 -It's your fault I'm old! -I'm sorry. 393 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,740 -It's your fault I can't talk! -I'm sorry. 394 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,993 It's your fault America has lost its way. 395 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,036 -I'm sorry. -It's all your fault! 396 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,581 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 397 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,959 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 398 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,879 I'm sorry, all right-- sorry I came back here. 399 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:36,884 Aha! 400 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,177 (grunting) 401 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,392 Whoa! My wiffle balls! 402 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,477 My frisbees! My water rockets! 403 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,980 (gasps) I've hit the jackpot! 404 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,481 A sell-out crowd at the Super Bowl, 405 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,567 Simpson down by six with two seconds left. 406 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,694 Simpson fades back. He's got Simpson in the open. 407 00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,949 Touchdown Simpson! (mimics stadium cheers) 408 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,161 The boy nobody wanted just won the Super Bowl! 409 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,413 (imitating crowd cheering ) 410 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:13,670 Dear log, my brother is still missing 411 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,923 and maybe it's my fault 412 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,883 because I failed to take his abuse 413 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,760 with good humor. 414 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:24,181 I miss him so much already that I don't know... 415 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,352 (Lisa sobbing) 416 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:29,937 (whispering) Hey, Lise. Lisa. 417 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,813 It's me, Bart. 418 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,192 (sniffles) Bart, where are you? 419 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,485 Shh. I'm on the roof. 420 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,823 (grunting) 421 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,328 Bart, what are you doing up here? 422 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,371 Everybody's worried. 423 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,456 -Really? Did they cry? -Yes. 424 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,166 Whoa, bull's-eye. 425 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,335 Bart, why did you burn my centerpiece? 426 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,170 Aw, come on. 427 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,880 Was it because you hate me 428 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,508 -or because you're bad? -I don't know. 429 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,801 I don't know why I did it. 430 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,386 I don't know why I enjoyed it. 431 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,012 And I don't know why I'll do it again. 432 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,640 -Just tell me you're sorry. -Why should I? 433 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,518 Bart, the only reason to apologize 434 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,353 is if you look deep down inside yourself 435 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,522 and you find a spot. 436 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,816 Something you wish wasn't there. 437 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:19,653 Because you feel bad you hurt your sister's feelings. 438 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:22,155 -Leave me alone. -Just look! 439 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:24,992 Okay, okay. 440 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,245 (muttering) Looking for the spot. 441 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,414 Still checking. This is so stupid. 442 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,374 I'm not going to find anything. 443 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,293 Just because I wrecked something she worked really hard on 444 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,920 and I made her cr-- 445 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,005 Uh-oh. 446 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,843 I'm sorry, Lisa. 447 00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,970 Apology accepted. 448 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:52,144 You know, Marge, we're great parents. 449 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:55,981 Oh Lord, on this blessed day, we thank thee 450 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,775 for giving our family one more crack at togetherness. 451 00:21:58,859 --> 00:21:59,985 ALL: Amen. 452 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:03,155 (all munching, slurping) 453 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:14,958 (munching, slurping continue) 454 00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:18,962 ♪♪ 455 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,382 Shh! 456 00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:08,512 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.