1
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,047
阿森一族

2
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,966
（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

3
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,429
（春田小學）

4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:18,351
（我不會與同學交換褲著）

5
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,985
（注意安全）

6
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:28,445
（《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片）

7
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,708
（老莫小酒館）

8
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,253
-荷馬，在首都發生什麼事了？
-巴尼

9
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,589
說啦，荷馬，我們都好奇得要死

10
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,675
比魯蛇更魯的是

11
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,386
坐在酒吧裡

12
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,847
跟大家講自己的變身魯蛇史

13
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,266
我竟然淪落到這個地步

14
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,392
拜託，荷馬

15
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,228
-跟我們說吧
-好吧

16
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,689
讓我娓娓道來
一切始於公司在春田體育場

17
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,524
（家庭日）

18
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,610
舉辦員眷暨只能攜三個小孩之夜

19
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,990
終於甩掉警察了

20
00:01:56,282 --> 00:02:01,079
還剛好停在球場，真是巧

21
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,664
全部滾出去

22
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,837
孩子們，今晚上場的球員

23
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,964
可能是未來的強棒選手

24
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,217
什麼？不是過氣棒球手嗎？

25
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,261
也有，各有千秋

26
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,139
可以在老球場

27
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,723
度過一晚放鬆夏夜真是太棒了

28
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,184
外野的青青綠草

29
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,019
內野的炙紅磚土

30
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,439
而白線將男人與男孩劃出界線

31
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:32,277
麗莎，妳忘記還有啤酒了

32
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,154
這裡賣的可是重量杯

33
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,823
希望你會喝到斷片，荷馬

34
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,908
-在翻哪份舊帳
-去年的時候

35
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,953
你整個人失控，對裁判露屁股

36
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,873
美枝，球票不僅提供我座位

37
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,626
我也有權利，應該說是責任

38
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,837
讓自己顏面掃地

39
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:55,133
蓋米爾一家，很高興見到各位

40
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,845
你是我們廢物管理部的男神

41
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:03,641
今晚就別想那些廢料，爽吃熱狗吧

42
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,602
史密瑟斯，給他蓋好寶寶印章

43
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,187
已完成，長官

44
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,648
長官，他們是辛普森一家

45
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,901
這不是辛普蔘一家嗎？

46
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,945
長官，是辛普森

47
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,072
是的

48
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,741
荷馬與美枝辛普森

49
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,703
兩位一定是巴特跟麗莎
我還以為這位在肚子裡

50
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,622
提詞卡得更新資訊了，長官

51
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,915
好吧

52
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,791
沒事的

53
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,877
寶寶的名字無所謂，走吧，美枝

54
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,130
買熱狗，熱呼呼的熱狗

55
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,011
那是閃電貝勒爺

56
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,304
我要請他簽名

57
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,972
他曾是球場上巨星

58
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,600
-閃電，可以幫我簽名嗎？
-不要

59
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,230
過氣的肥宅球員

60
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,814
他以為他是什麼東西？

61
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,192
-怎麼了？孩子
-他不幫我簽名

62
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,779
真是壞榜樣，巴特，球給我

63
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,242
閃電，有位鳳梨頭熟女過來了

64
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,536
小姐姐你好，有何貴幹？

65
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,830
簽好了，巴特

66
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:12,001
（柔情汽車旅館，26號房）

67
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,711
（來連結一下，閃電）

68
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:17,590
閃電貝勒爺看上我老婆

69
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,760
你還是魅力無窮，美枝

70
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,429
爸，你上球場螢幕了

71
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,890
大家好嗎？

72
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,141
（球場螢幕）

73
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,229
快看，我是荷馬辛普森

74
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,817
荷馬，石門水庫

75
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,194
檢查褲檔幹嘛？糟糕

76
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,323
謝謝各位

77
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,034
各位貴賓，今晚開球嘉賓

78
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,494
他的名字

79
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,247
代表了全國最乾淨的能源

80
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,874
蒙哥馬利伯恩斯先生

81
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,461
看你多受歡迎，長官

82
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:56,838
理所當然

83
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,424
史密瑟斯，我年輕的時候

84
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,260
我那專利的幻象球

85
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,346
可是與王箭民的捉摸不定球齊名

86
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,973
幫我吐個口水招好運吧，史密瑟斯

87
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,850
為您擠出精華，長官

88
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,316
遜掉了

89
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,026
一聲音爆，劃破寂靜

90
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,403
給我閉嘴

91
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,613
伯恩斯，奶油手

92
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,782
像個娘們在投球，老兄

93
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,784
我還比你強

94
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,162
各位貴賓，向國家致敬

95
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,372
起立唱國歌

96
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,459
由春田市節奏藍調樂手

97
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,586
牙齦出血墨菲

98
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:47,096
“哦，你可

99
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,307
看見

100
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,641
我問你們

101
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:55,688
你可看見

102
00:05:55,897 --> 00:06:01,736
透過一線曙光

103
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:07,867
火箭閃閃紅光

104
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:08,951
（達夫啤酒）

105
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:13,289
炸彈空中作響打下來

106
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:18,127
在空中劈哩啪啦響

107
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:24,425
勇士…

108
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:30,807
的…

109
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:40,775
家鄉”

110
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,946
春田市民大家好
我是徐斬猿，你的球評

111
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:48,491
今晚同位素隊對決討人厭的
謝爾比維爾小混球隊

112
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,617
（員工席）

113
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,910
同位素隊準備拿下第26場連敗

114
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,246
職業棒球史上最慘紀錄

115
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,957
厲害吧，我們死氣沉沉的小地方
可是榜上有名

116
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,084
跟員工坐在一起

117
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,211
充分表現我的親和力

118
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,171
史密瑟斯，你給我排了走道位吧？

119
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,756
我不想被他們擠在中間

120
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,384
上吧，火力全開，擊球手

121
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,511
拿出投手本事，不要像個白痴

122
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,806
捕手加油，不要漏油

123
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:13,724
-長官請就坐
-不

124
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,690
美枝，跟老闆坐在一起

125
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,900
今晚的好興致都沒了

126
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,861
真是爛透了

127
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:28,072
只是不能當眾露屁股而已

128
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,824
不要火上加油

129
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,621
啤酒來了，達夫啤酒

130
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,999
啤酒，聽到了嗎？美枝

131
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,668
冰涼可口的啤酒

132
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,921
可以澆熄我坐在老闆旁的不安

133
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,131
荷馬

134
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,175
想來一杯嗎？

135
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,011
我嗎？不用

136
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,345
傻子才喝啤酒

137
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,764
我只是想說要請你一起喝一杯

138
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:58,644
如果像長官一樣，喝啤酒還如此精壯

139
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,980
那何嘗不可

140
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,316
不過，明天不用酒測吧？

141
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,485
不用，啤酒哥，來兩瓶

142
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:07,945
兩塊五

143
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,490
（第四局，謝爾比維爾兩分
同位素四分）

144
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:14,660
擊球手軟掉了，他說
阿姨我不想努力了

145
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,079
這句不錯，長官

146
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,041
我以前在西貝球場

147
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,918
常對康尼梅克罵這句

148
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,879
寶寶擊球手，就是沒有種

149
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,174
很粗俗，我喜歡

150
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:32,220
酒剩沒幾滴，再加滿如何？

151
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,096
樂意之至

152
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,849
（第六局，謝爾比維爾六分
同位素四分）

153
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:40,353
辛普蔘，來海波浪一下吧

154
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,479
好呀，伯恩濕

155
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,779
滿壘，同位素失分，準備出局

156
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,322
投手出擊了

157
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,491
揮棒落空，三振出局

158
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,284
可惡

159
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,162
這些沒路用的沒法繼承派崔諾衣缽

160
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,040
比爾麥克洛斯基接下來上場

161
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,416
差不多可以跳到賽後節目了

162
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,002
衝啊，給我們來個滿貫砲

163
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:11,384
這比賽實在讓我氣到快吐血

164
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,431
大家怎麼回事？打起精神，動起來

165
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,685
球隊需要你，來吧

166
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,939
我站上去，彷彿被電流穿過

167
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,732
但不是酒精作用

168
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:30,611
而是被人注目的電流

169
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,239
右外場有個傻蛋帶起旋風

170
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,448
氣氛都熱起來了

171
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,450
看看他能不能激起

172
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,202
比爾麥克洛斯基的鬥志

173
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,625
強棒出擊，球飛到左外野

174
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,298
繼續高飛，不見了，打到外太空了

175
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,758
老天，同位素隊贏了

176
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,552
同位素隊贏了

177
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,345
同位素隊贏了

178
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,222
真是激勵人心

179
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,182
是的，真不開心

180
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,603
荷馬辛普森那不要臉的表演癖

181
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:04,979
毀了我的夜晚

182
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,607
以後公司的業外活動都不准他來

183
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,985
（荷馬辛普森，業外活動
永遠封殺）

184
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,695
太棒了，荷馬

185
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,865
謝謝你，大家真好

186
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,992
很高興你們喜歡，但功不在我

187
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,036
都是擊球手厲害

188
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,331
打擾了，舞棍先生

189
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,709
我叫安東特斯奧哈拉
是同位素球隊老闆

190
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,211
你有興趣來當我們的官方吉祥物嗎？

191
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:33,341
我？小職業聯盟球隊吉祥物？

192
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:37,178
早知道就當成他在說笑
或是多考慮一秒

193
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,264
或許如果我想不到好名字

194
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,683
我們就不會落到此步田地了

195
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,269
上車，舞動荷馬

196
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,563
安靜點，我還在想名字

197
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,528
我準備好粉墨登場了

198
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,990
好酷，爸爸

199
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,909
我們家好像又換了個畫風

200
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,870
球隊請你穿那樣嗎？荷馬

201
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,955
不，是我自己發揮創意

202
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,667
加緊腳步，別吃太多菜，寶貝

203
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,126
等等有一拖拉庫玉米片

204
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,253
好耶

205
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:17,218
這是我人生第一次
不是被別人笑話

206
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,011
而是在逗大家發笑

207
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,097
同位素得勝

208
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,473
（春田市戰爭紀念體育場
春田市同位素隊）

209
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,933
（對決伯靈頓漂流者
特別演出，荷馬辛普森）

210
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:24,892
兩次連勝

211
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:33,943
（舞動荷馬）

212
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,071
辛普森紀念衫
真沒想到有這一天

213
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:41,283
裙襬搖搖，搖到外婆橋

214
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,827
別鬧了

215
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,495
不然這根球棒會捅得你哀哀叫

216
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,039
是嗎？你要捅哪裡？

217
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,713
（春田市戰爭紀念體育場
荷馬辛普森）

218
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,048
（春田市同位素隊
對決沙連大道隊）

219
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,843
海倫，我想來個海盜之夜

220
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:01,011
我可以點一首“大象走”嗎？

221
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,013
加一點雷鬼元素

222
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,273
舞動荷馬，趕快練舞功

223
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,650
來去無影蹤，舞動荷馬

224
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,780
（今夜，舞動荷馬）

225
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,198
（春田市對決謝爾比維爾）

226
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,368
滿壘，二出局，大家表現很好

227
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,246
春

228
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,832
田

229
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,709
市

230
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,502
大

231
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,713
勝利

232
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,798
春田市大勝利

233
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,300
投手上

234
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,094
揮棒落空，三振出局

235
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,763
同位素隊落敗

236
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,766
同位素隊落敗

237
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,648
你要求見我嗎？特斯老闆

238
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,443
荷馬，你我皆知你站上舞台的時候

239
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,819
就有離開的那天

240
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,822
了解

241
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,700
你沒法炒掉球員，就拿吉祥物開刀

242
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,076
你真令人噁心

243
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:09,163
荷馬，我不是要炒你魷魚
我剛收到消息

244
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,165
要你去首都表演

245
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,751
-我，去大聯盟球場？
-沒錯

246
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,462
可是大聯盟球場已經有吉祥物了

247
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:20,424
傳奇吉祥物首都混球

248
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,343
對，但他已經表演好幾年了

249
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,471
他需要中場休息

250
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,182
-這是個好機會
-沒錯

251
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,017
你跟家人討論一下吧

252
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,269
他們或許不贊成

253
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,981
這是辛普森有史以來
所做過最重大的決定

254
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,109
我該聽我小孩的話
而不是被我那豬頭老婆害

255
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,779
我怎麼可以講她壞話，自掌嘴

256
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,532
我不能離開春田市

257
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,575
一日春田人，一生春田鬼

258
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:50,079
你也可以換個地方當鬼

259
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,873
那我朋友怎麼辦？

260
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,334
你會交上更高尚的新朋友

261
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,338
爸爸，我們低端人口有低端標準

262
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,924
首都太高不可攀了

263
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,802
春田市的每個人都對我們特別寬容

264
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,428
荷馬，說真的

265
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,806
我有點嚇到了

266
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,933
但每個人都有使命

267
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,644
是上天給我們的天命

268
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,688
或許你的天命就是當球場舞棍

269
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,731
-你意思是？
-上吧，荷馬

270
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,608
我們要成為萬眾焦點

271
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,485
-永不回頭
-越沒有那個屁股

272
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:22,987
越要吃瀉藥

273
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:25,906
沒那麼簡單

274
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,034
我得請我主管准假

275
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,412
沒問題，你要請多久？
四年還五年

276
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,538
（危險，勿站於此）

277
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,833
辛普森，你們真的要搬到首都嗎？

278
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,877
-沒錯，內德
-這些都是要賣的嗎？

279
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,128
（近全新）

280
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,922
我不知道如何開口

281
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,551
少來了，佛蘭德斯，別哭哭啼啼

282
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,053
我也會很想念你，假的

283
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,805
我不知道，巴特

284
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,016
我是會想念你

285
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,935
來吧，米爾豪斯
這樣我們就是結拜兄弟了

286
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,729
好

287
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,150
我會想念你的，換痰兄弟

288
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,402
我會想念你的，換痰兄弟

289
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,071
我真心誠意

290
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,615
覺得如果我們再熟一點

291
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,700
我的離開就會是個大事

292
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,368
-對
-沒錯

293
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:17,875
我們來拜訪一下
等等就要直驅首都了

294
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,295
無法相信，小妹要搬去大都市了

295
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,756
-我會每天打給你
-我也會

296
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,967
他會按喇叭呢

297
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,095
閉嘴

298
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,097
（舞動荷馬，感恩之夜）

299
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,557
有些人會說

300
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,852
我拿到一手爛牌

301
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,355
沒念什麼書

302
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,607
頭頂跟電燈泡一樣

303
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:46,320
十年都在同樣公司領同樣薪水

304
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:50,908
今天，我來到首都

305
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,243
我認為自己

306
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,122
是世界上最幸運的吉祥物

307
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,340
在這長江後浪推前浪的時代

308
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,343
我準備踏出人生最大一步

309
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,761
不

310
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,643
（首都，還很遠）

311
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:21,897
寶貝，我們到首都了

312
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:25,025
看那大橋

313
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,153
哇

314
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,576
你若來首都

315
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,538
請你斟酌看

316
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,289
樂福鞋

317
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,335
見面第一句話，都是恭喜恭喜

318
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,254
首都

319
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,423
孩子們看，街頭犯罪

320
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:51,260
這個地方讓你心花怒放

321
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,636
像個國王

322
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,763
真是好客

323
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,057
國王在此

324
00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:01,520
萬人擁載愛戴

325
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,564
看，是蔡小唬

326
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,399
很高興見到你

327
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,234
（向預備役勇士致敬）

328
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,820
在首都

329
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,072
不可以奧嘟嘟

330
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:17,077
像小丑一樣活跳跳

331
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,245
當你看到

332
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,998
-大道交界
-大道交界

333
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,833
你一旦發現

334
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,668
（達夫啤酒，千杯再千杯）

335
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,296
就捨不得說再見

336
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,631
達夫酒廠

337
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,051
首都就是甜蜜家鄉

338
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,637
快樂大首都

339
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:36,930
（巫婆指甲）

340
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,098
就是我們的首都

341
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,683
我們的甜蜜家鄉

342
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:40,934
（甘露酒吧、恰恰俱樂部
原單T恤館）

343
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:41,894
（聖道明教堂）

344
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,520
（拒絕養生館）

345
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,481
（要塞咖啡，蘋果醬屋）

346
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,359
首都萬歲

347
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:50,694
（回味無窮汽車旅館）

348
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,573
首

349
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,867
都

350
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,078
首都

351
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,205
快睡覺，荷馬

352
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:02,956
抱歉，甜心

353
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,085
我只是有點緊張

354
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,797
今晚非常值得紀念

355
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,802
美枝破天荒地比我早睡著

356
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,723
票給你，視野應該不錯

357
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,767
是球員太太席

358
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,477
別忘了為我加油

359
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,396
球賽後見，大明星

360
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,440
巴特異常安靜

361
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,608
（吉祥物入口）

362
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,528
稍晚他跟我解釋
他被崇拜我的心情嚇到了

363
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,530
這心情一下就沒了

364
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,245
我不敢相信

365
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,289
真的是你，首都混球

366
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,917
舞動荷馬，很高興有你加入

367
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:50,671
需要我的時候就按一下喇叭

368
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,383
第五場交給你了

369
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,717
大家都進入狀況了

370
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,052
幾杯黃湯下肚

371
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,763
這是正式比賽，那一局很關鍵

372
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:00,931
第五局

373
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,891
我也真希望這裡有條拉鍊

374
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,185
你知道我的意思

375
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:08,105
-好的，混球先生
-叫我老混球就好了

376
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,274
你打算怎麼表演？

377
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:13,068
站起來熱舞，用身體扭出首都

378
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,070
用《大象走》的旋律

379
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,739
曼西尼的歌嗎？很適合表演

380
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,741
球場見

381
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,369
我來暖場，你來炒熱氣氛

382
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,834
大家好，我是曾柚誠

383
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,670
今晚天氣好棒棒

384
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:33,964
在哪裡？

385
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,717
繼續往上，到夾層區

386
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,012
應該是這

387
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,265
-這什麼鳥位子
-球員太太

388
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,600
不是應該要坐近一點嗎？

389
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,978
其實這裡是前妻席

390
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:52,024
我後來才發現
他在堪薩斯城養了小馬子

391
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,317
往他頭丟

392
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,778
誰都想不到

393
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,074
拿到大聯盟的免票
卻緊張到不能好好看

394
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,203
滿腦子都在想等等的表演

395
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,955
買熱狗，熱呼呼的熱狗

396
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,498
熱狗

397
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,501
各位貴賓，首都新旋風

398
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:15,547
舞動荷馬

399
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,716
還是球場的好吃

400
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,095
爸爸上場了

401
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,265
我渾身是勁、秀出舞技

402
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:26,892
我是全場焦點

403
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,353
但沒人在乎

404
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,608
大家怎麼這麼冷淡？

405
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:35,859
媽媽，他做錯什麼了？

406
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,611
我不知道

407
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,196
觀眾毫無反應

408
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,281
耳朵聽到的都是批評

409
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,700
這傢伙無聊死了

410
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,993
真是悲哀

411
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,120
在一堆人面前笑話自己

412
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,456
這種鄉巴佬表演

413
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,041
在首都上不了檯面

414
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,711
我唯一得到的呼聲
是為了把我噓出場

415
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,756
舞棍阿伯

416
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,133
老闆現在要你過去

417
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,468
（羅戴夫，老闆）

418
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:02,552
很遺憾，年輕人，你還不夠格

419
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,722
請跟前檯領支票，衣服給我穿好

420
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,183
我想該回去春田市了

421
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,895
我不能回去
我已經被首都的霓虹燈給迷惑

422
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,398
離開這裡我的靈魂會乾枯的

423
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,775
夠了，兩位，臉色好看一點

424
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,027
你爸爸已經很不好受了

425
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,781
太棒了，爸爸

426
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:24,116
我的家庭真美麗

427
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,826
我的家人相伴左右

428
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,077
（首都出口）

429
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,663
回家路上，我才明白於事無補

430
00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:33,583
故事講完了，表演服燒了

431
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:37,629
因為我兒子會說我像隻悲哀的猩猩

432
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,506
真是傳奇

433
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,592
對了，你們聽得真投入

434
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,928
我又成為焦點人物了

435
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,305
是的，非常引人入勝

436
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:47,472
再講一次，荷馬

437
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,433
好

438
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,561
真不知道為什麼

439
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:53,979
夏夕夏景的故事大家這麼愛聽

440
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,481
不知道，就是很令人上癮

441
00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:03,572
你若來首都

442
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,991
請你斟酌看

443
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:11,788
見面第一句話，都是恭喜恭喜

444
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,333
首都

445
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:20,255
這個地方讓你心花怒放

446
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,257
像個國王

447
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,470
國王在此

448
00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:31,475
萬人擁載愛戴

449
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:36,313
在首都

450
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:38,732
不可以奧嘟嘟

451
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,653
像小丑一樣活跳跳

452
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,822
當你看到

453
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,492
大道交界

454
00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:52,079
你一旦發現

455
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:55,082
就捨不得說再見

456
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:57,876
快樂大首都

457
00:22:57,959 --> 00:23:02,422
我們的甜蜜家鄉