1 00:00:08,372 --> 00:00:09,706 D'oh! 2 00:00:12,243 --> 00:00:14,010 Welcome to Super Bowl XLVIII 3 00:00:14,045 --> 00:00:19,482 between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. 4 00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:22,285 The field is a frozen tundra, 5 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,853 imported at great expense from Alaska. 6 00:00:23,888 --> 00:00:25,422 Hmm? 7 00:00:25,456 --> 00:00:26,456 Hmm?! 8 00:00:26,490 --> 00:00:27,490 Huh...? 9 00:00:31,562 --> 00:00:33,029 Oh! 10 00:00:47,244 --> 00:00:48,578 Whoo-hoo. 11 00:01:02,626 --> 00:01:04,995 And the game comes down to this one play-- 12 00:01:05,029 --> 00:01:06,596 a final field goal. 13 00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,498 The kick is up, it hits the crossbar and-- 14 00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:10,767 D'oh! 15 00:01:12,293 --> 00:01:16,293 ♪ The Simpsons 25x11 ♪ Specs and the City Original Air Date on January 26, 2014 16 00:01:16,318 --> 00:01:21,318 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 17 00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:31,621 ♪ Glowing rods, glowing rods 18 00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:34,357 ♪ It's making me 19 00:01:34,392 --> 00:01:36,960 ♪ Weak and dizzy... 20 00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:38,695 Uh, rumor has it they're about to give out 21 00:01:38,729 --> 00:01:40,130 the company Christmas gifts. 22 00:01:40,164 --> 00:01:41,865 Who told you that? 23 00:01:41,899 --> 00:01:42,866 I got an in. 24 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:43,833 The VP of Personnel 25 00:01:43,868 --> 00:01:45,869 is doing my girlfriend. 26 00:01:45,903 --> 00:01:48,571 Ooh, look at you, Mr. Connected. 27 00:01:48,606 --> 00:01:50,940 I hope it's better than last year's lousy gift. 28 00:01:50,975 --> 00:01:52,509 Yeah, what a rip. 29 00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:53,977 Ugh. Remember this gift? 30 00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:56,046 The executive stress ball. 31 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,314 One more squeeze and you're fired. 32 00:01:58,349 --> 00:02:00,417 Now I feel more stressed than ever. 33 00:02:00,451 --> 00:02:01,951 Gah! 34 00:02:01,986 --> 00:02:03,620 Excellent. 35 00:02:03,654 --> 00:02:05,755 Excellent. Excellent. 36 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,224 Uh, you don't look so excellent to me. 37 00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:12,729 Ho, ho, humbug. 38 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:15,799 Santa Claus approaches to judge and punish. 39 00:02:19,070 --> 00:02:22,072 Wow! A good gift for once. 40 00:02:22,106 --> 00:02:23,673 Oogle Goggles. 41 00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:25,842 Augmented reality glasses. 42 00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:28,411 You wear them like eyeglasses, but inside the lens, 43 00:02:28,446 --> 00:02:31,014 you see information about the people and places around you. 44 00:02:31,048 --> 00:02:34,784 Ooh, finally I'm not a slave to my stupid human eyeballs. 45 00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:38,321 Ooh! 46 00:02:38,355 --> 00:02:40,023 Whoa. 47 00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:46,362 Glasses, call Lenny. 48 00:02:46,397 --> 00:02:48,031 Ooh, I'm getting a call. 49 00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:49,032 Answer call. 50 00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:50,066 Hello? 51 00:02:50,101 --> 00:02:52,535 Lenny, it's me, Homer. 52 00:02:54,738 --> 00:02:57,340 Hm. I always thought it was "Simp-sen." 53 00:02:57,374 --> 00:03:00,009 Really? Don't you ever look up at the sky? 54 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,549 Always wondered what that was. 55 00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:08,852 Sir, I'm concerned about 56 00:03:08,886 --> 00:03:10,220 your sudden generosity. 57 00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:11,855 The doctor said to bring you in right away 58 00:03:11,889 --> 00:03:13,490 if you display kindness or warmth. 59 00:03:13,524 --> 00:03:14,724 Oh, don't worry. 60 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,960 This Santa still has claws. 61 00:03:19,196 --> 00:03:20,997 As of now, each of those nuclear nitwits 62 00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:22,332 is wearing a video camera. 63 00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,868 With a direct feed to me. 64 00:03:24,902 --> 00:03:26,436 You're spying on them? 65 00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:28,705 Smithers, how much did this company lose 66 00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:30,773 to office supply theft last year? 67 00:03:30,808 --> 00:03:33,009 $7,043. 68 00:03:33,043 --> 00:03:34,878 Yes, well, no more of that. 69 00:03:34,912 --> 00:03:37,614 Thanks to this $26 million surveillance system. 70 00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:38,681 Beware, rabbits. 71 00:03:38,716 --> 00:03:41,518 I spy with my transplanted eyes. 72 00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:44,254 Oh, and I forgot to show you the best feature. 73 00:03:44,288 --> 00:03:47,924 Each of these buttons represents an employee. 74 00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:51,261 When I press it, he or she dies. 75 00:03:54,932 --> 00:03:57,066 What's wrong with this thing? 76 00:04:19,857 --> 00:04:21,324 Now, remember kids, 77 00:04:21,358 --> 00:04:23,960 the school says you must have a valentine card 78 00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:26,095 for everyone in your class. 79 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:29,499 How does this mean anything when everyone's forced to do it? 80 00:04:29,533 --> 00:04:31,301 What did I say about pointing out 81 00:04:31,335 --> 00:04:33,770 the meaninglessness of things? 82 00:04:33,804 --> 00:04:35,438 Not to. 83 00:04:35,472 --> 00:04:37,073 Well, no way I'm giving a valentine to Nelson. 84 00:04:37,107 --> 00:04:39,275 He's a bully, and I do not love him. 85 00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,344 Jesus says to love your enemies. 86 00:04:41,378 --> 00:04:43,646 That's because Jesus knows one day, 87 00:04:43,681 --> 00:04:46,583 he gets to look his enemies in the eye and say 88 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:49,953 "It was me who sent you to Hell." 89 00:04:49,987 --> 00:04:51,688 Bart, your school requires you 90 00:04:51,722 --> 00:04:53,856 to give everyone a valentine card 91 00:04:53,891 --> 00:04:56,793 in an envelope with a fun sticker. 92 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:59,128 Your teacher put out an e-mail alert. 93 00:04:59,163 --> 00:05:01,798 With a video attachment. 94 00:05:01,832 --> 00:05:05,201 Welcome to Firstline. Tonight, 95 00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:08,204 "Valentine's Day: Always A Massacre." 96 00:05:08,239 --> 00:05:10,306 At this school, children may give valentines 97 00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:11,474 to whomever they choose. 98 00:05:11,508 --> 00:05:13,343 Danny is unpopular, 99 00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:17,380 due to rumors he sleeps in the raw with his ma and his pa. 100 00:05:17,414 --> 00:05:20,883 Human young are born with the ability to count valentines, 101 00:05:20,918 --> 00:05:23,786 and Danny realizes he's been snubbed. 102 00:05:23,821 --> 00:05:27,190 Past generations of children were used to rejection. 103 00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:30,493 But today's kids, raised in a climate of video games 104 00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:33,396 and instant messaging, are fragile weirdos. 105 00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,665 On February 15, 2:00am, 106 00:05:35,699 --> 00:05:38,635 after checking the mailbox one last time, 107 00:05:38,669 --> 00:05:41,204 Danny nearly died from an overdose 108 00:05:41,238 --> 00:05:42,705 of little candy hearts. 109 00:05:45,943 --> 00:05:49,245 Many of history's monsters never received a valentine. 110 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,748 Attila the Hun,Mao Tse-tung, 111 00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:53,549 and me, Will Lyman. 112 00:05:53,584 --> 00:05:55,251 This is Firstline. 113 00:05:55,286 --> 00:05:57,687 Fine, Nelson gets a valentine. 114 00:05:57,721 --> 00:05:59,522 An old one from the box. 115 00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:04,093 Perfect. Bad movie, bad pun, 116 00:06:04,128 --> 00:06:06,195 even bad paper stock. 117 00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,335 What's so funny? 118 00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,837 I'm watching videos of idiots wearing these glasses 119 00:06:14,872 --> 00:06:18,107 and not paying attention to the world around them. 120 00:06:18,142 --> 00:06:19,409 Look at these jerks. 121 00:06:24,982 --> 00:06:26,549 Ow! 122 00:06:35,826 --> 00:06:37,560 I don't understand what's so great about these 123 00:06:37,594 --> 00:06:40,697 state of the art, solar-powered, computo-glasses. 124 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,031 I'll let you try them on, 125 00:06:42,066 --> 00:06:43,566 right after I decide if these videos 126 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,101 are Funny Or Die. 127 00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:48,471 Funny, funny, die, die, 128 00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,373 funny, funny but the guy died. 129 00:06:50,407 --> 00:06:51,941 Oh. 130 00:06:51,975 --> 00:06:55,211 Now, a simple Sunday drive will reveal the hidden wonders 131 00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,113 of our hometown. 132 00:07:00,317 --> 00:07:01,317 Hmm... 133 00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:09,359 Whoo-hoo! 134 00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:12,829 D'oh! 135 00:07:12,863 --> 00:07:15,298 Springfield City Hall was built for the Spencer Tracy movie 136 00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:18,234 Meet Me At City Hall. 137 00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:21,637 It was just a flat wall with nothing behind it for 30 years. 138 00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,407 Dad, Bart's on my side of the seat. 139 00:07:24,441 --> 00:07:26,809 Dad, Lisa's my little sister. 140 00:07:28,712 --> 00:07:30,880 The rearview mirror was invented in 1911, 141 00:07:30,914 --> 00:07:32,248 for just this reason. 142 00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:33,616 Interesting. 143 00:07:33,650 --> 00:07:35,351 When was the term "shut up" invented? 144 00:07:35,386 --> 00:07:38,287 As early as 1859, shut up was used to shut up... 145 00:07:38,322 --> 00:07:41,023 Homie, I think the kids are just hungry. 146 00:07:41,058 --> 00:07:44,460 Glasses, direct me to the nicest restaurant I can afford. 147 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:46,195 Accessing soup kitchens. 148 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:49,132 What, you... Oh, that's it, I'm taking you off. 149 00:07:49,166 --> 00:07:51,234 Aah! Reality. 150 00:07:51,268 --> 00:07:52,168 Oh! Sorry, sir! 151 00:07:53,337 --> 00:07:56,506 Okay, let's see what we got here. 152 00:08:01,545 --> 00:08:04,947 Ugh, oh! Ooh. 153 00:08:04,982 --> 00:08:06,516 Eh. 154 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,622 Oh. 155 00:08:12,656 --> 00:08:14,190 Mm-hmm. 156 00:08:14,224 --> 00:08:15,725 Squeeze here. 157 00:08:15,759 --> 00:08:17,527 Rotate there. 158 00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:18,728 Pause for sweet talk. 159 00:08:18,762 --> 00:08:21,297 Oh, glasses, you're so wonderful. 160 00:08:21,331 --> 00:08:24,967 Huh? A-Are you using your glasses for snuggling? 161 00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:27,670 But the avatar looks just like you. 162 00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:29,572 I'm afraid wives don't make passes 163 00:08:29,606 --> 00:08:32,108 at husbands in those glasses. 164 00:08:33,577 --> 00:08:35,745 Glasses, find me a great gift for my wife. 165 00:08:35,779 --> 00:08:37,413 Under five dollars. 166 00:08:37,448 --> 00:08:38,815 I heard that! 167 00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:41,184 Glasses, take me two minutes back in time. 168 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,361 Oh... 169 00:08:50,395 --> 00:08:51,810 Marge. Mm. 170 00:08:51,811 --> 00:08:53,679 About the glasses. Mm! 171 00:08:53,713 --> 00:08:56,281 I'm really sorry, and... Mm, mm, mm. 172 00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:58,317 Here's your breakfast. 173 00:08:58,351 --> 00:09:00,886 Only five pancakes? 174 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,187 You're trying to kill me. 175 00:09:02,222 --> 00:09:04,189 Well, I'm not happy with you. 176 00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:06,125 Look, honey, I know these glasses 177 00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:08,127 are a radical new technology 178 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:10,162 and should be worn in moderation. 179 00:09:10,196 --> 00:09:11,463 Isn't that right, glasses? 180 00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:13,498 Yes, just like I told you. 181 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,068 Anyway, I'm giving them up. 182 00:09:16,102 --> 00:09:19,038 To whoever dares take them. 183 00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:27,746 Yoink. 184 00:09:27,781 --> 00:09:29,348 Aw, come on, Mom. 185 00:09:29,382 --> 00:09:31,817 For once, I'm grabbing the goody. 186 00:09:31,851 --> 00:09:33,752 So the rumors are true. 187 00:09:33,787 --> 00:09:36,088 Moms can want things. 188 00:09:38,324 --> 00:09:39,858 Hmm. 189 00:09:45,131 --> 00:09:46,165 Hmm... 190 00:09:46,199 --> 00:09:47,833 Nicely done, Lewis. 191 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:52,237 A Transformer that transforms into a heart? 192 00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:53,405 I love it! 193 00:09:57,877 --> 00:10:00,079 Mm. This Hershey's Kiss is melted. 194 00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:02,247 Not good. 195 00:10:02,282 --> 00:10:04,683 My mom left it on the dashboard! 196 00:10:04,717 --> 00:10:06,351 My mom...! 197 00:10:06,386 --> 00:10:08,787 I'll have yours now, Simpson. 198 00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:12,324 In Ga'hoole, 199 00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:14,259 we would break his frickin' knees. 200 00:10:15,662 --> 00:10:16,929 No. 201 00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:18,764 No Valentine for you, Nelson. 202 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,367 Excuse me? 203 00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:24,103 I'll give a Valentine to a loser, 204 00:10:24,137 --> 00:10:25,804 I'll give a Valentine to a dork, 205 00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:27,773 I'll even give a Valentine to a girl, 206 00:10:27,807 --> 00:10:31,110 but I won't give a Valentine to a bully! 207 00:10:31,144 --> 00:10:33,579 Here's what's gonna happen. 208 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:37,716 You have one week to make me the best Valentine any kid ever got. 209 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,318 And what if I don't? 210 00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:42,054 Simpson, there's gonna be a heart in my hand, 211 00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:44,523 either paper or yours. 212 00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,861 Hey, everybody. That's strange. 213 00:10:48,895 --> 00:10:52,397 I-I'm hearing a voice, but I'm not seeing a user icon. 214 00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:54,733 Carl, it's me. I'm here. 215 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,201 Really here! 216 00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:58,370 Hey, Homer. A lot of information about you. 217 00:10:58,404 --> 00:11:01,840 Let me just page through it. Oh! Stop! Hey! What? 218 00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:04,910 Oh, no one can live in a non-augmented reality. 219 00:11:04,944 --> 00:11:07,146 I need another pair of glasses. 220 00:11:08,381 --> 00:11:10,549 Charlie, your move in Muppet Chess. 221 00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:12,551 Gonzo to Fozzie Seven. 222 00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:15,787 Aw! That's Kermit-mate. Wocka wocka! 223 00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:17,756 Oh, why is it 224 00:11:17,790 --> 00:11:19,591 the recipe card you need is always 225 00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,994 the one Homer writes his cocktail ideas on? 226 00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:26,098 Maybe these bleep-bloop glasses can help. 227 00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:29,768 Okay, Marge Simpson entering the Matrix, 228 00:11:29,802 --> 00:11:32,371 for a brownie recipe. 229 00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:34,940 Here are my top-rated recipes. 230 00:11:34,974 --> 00:11:38,810 Ooh. So many choices, Maggie. 231 00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:47,786 Um, Mr. Burns, sir? 232 00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:49,788 Can I get another pair of glasses? 233 00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:52,224 Maybe two pair? One for the beach house? 234 00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:54,259 Can I also get a beach house? 235 00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:56,195 Two beach houses. 236 00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:57,095 Huh? 237 00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,096 Monitors?! 238 00:11:58,131 --> 00:11:59,398 What the...? 239 00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:04,102 Burns gave us those glasses so he could spy on us! 240 00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:07,105 This is a violation of our human rights. 241 00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,073 Okay, 242 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:10,442 so let's see what we can see. 243 00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:12,511 Solitaire, top hats on eBay, 244 00:12:12,545 --> 00:12:14,746 Angry Birds fan fiction, 245 00:12:14,781 --> 00:12:16,949 guy doing really easy crossword puzzle, 246 00:12:16,983 --> 00:12:18,750 Lenny doing Carl's clown makeup... 247 00:12:18,785 --> 00:12:20,819 someone's actually working? 248 00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:22,588 Maggie?! 249 00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,756 Who's Mommy's little girl? 250 00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:27,259 Genealogy.org says you are! 251 00:12:27,293 --> 00:12:28,794 You are! 252 00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:32,164 Aw... 253 00:12:32,198 --> 00:12:35,000 Wait a minute. Since Marge is wearing my glasses, 254 00:12:35,034 --> 00:12:37,269 I can see everything she sees! 255 00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:39,271 Uh-uh, I shouldn't watch this. 256 00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:41,039 Such a good baby. 257 00:12:41,074 --> 00:12:43,041 You deserve some ice cream. 258 00:12:43,076 --> 00:12:46,378 Wait a minute-- Marge said we were out of ice cream. 259 00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:49,915 Ooh! 260 00:12:52,218 --> 00:12:54,086 Oh! 261 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,855 What else is Marge hiding from me? 262 00:12:56,889 --> 00:12:59,992 Maggie, he's here! 263 00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:02,461 Oh, is she having an affair? 264 00:13:02,495 --> 00:13:05,631 Thanks for asking me to lunch. 265 00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:08,700 Oh, why isn't she having an affair?! 266 00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:14,239 What about a Valentine that says: "Bully, for you"? 267 00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:16,642 Hmm, interesting. 268 00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:18,243 "Interesting" means "no." 269 00:13:18,278 --> 00:13:20,178 "Interesting" means "no." 270 00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,415 Milhouse, you're a genius! 271 00:13:23,449 --> 00:13:25,550 I am? What did I say? 272 00:13:25,585 --> 00:13:27,719 Oh, nothing. 273 00:13:27,754 --> 00:13:29,721 On TV when a guy says something lame, 274 00:13:29,756 --> 00:13:32,724 another guy says he's a genius, and then he has an idea. 275 00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:34,593 I thought it might work for me. 276 00:13:34,627 --> 00:13:36,962 Well, you called me a genius. 277 00:13:36,996 --> 00:13:38,397 That means a lot. 278 00:13:38,431 --> 00:13:40,832 Oh, I hate this stupid holiday! 279 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,502 The only thing you can do is screw it up. 280 00:13:43,536 --> 00:13:45,103 That's it! 281 00:13:45,138 --> 00:13:47,439 Bart, you're a genius! 282 00:13:47,473 --> 00:13:50,742 Well, if you keep throwing the word around, it means nothing. 283 00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:55,447 Who are you? Mr. Burns! 284 00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:57,349 Oh. I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns. 285 00:13:57,383 --> 00:13:59,484 I won't bother you again. 286 00:14:05,058 --> 00:14:07,893 Marge, that's a "Compact Only" space. 287 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:13,598 Well... who knew you were such a rebel? 288 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:17,235 Now let's learn more about my wife's secret life. 289 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:20,906 Secrets which can only be good. 290 00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:22,808 Hi, Marge. 291 00:14:22,842 --> 00:14:24,810 Dr. Carlock is ready for you. 292 00:14:24,844 --> 00:14:26,478 Thank you. 293 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,648 So, Marge, how have you been? 294 00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:31,817 Okay, I guess. 295 00:14:31,851 --> 00:14:34,086 Marge is in therapy?! 296 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,987 Oh, I hate when I come here 297 00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:38,457 and the first word out of my mouth is "Homer." 298 00:14:38,491 --> 00:14:40,492 But here we go, again. 299 00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:44,296 Homer was converting our dollars to "yu-ros." 300 00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:46,898 Not the money, the sandwich. 301 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,942 And has there been any improvement in Homer's drinking? 302 00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:56,663 Well, he's down to two beers in the shower. 303 00:14:56,697 --> 00:14:58,832 They're pale ales! Please! 304 00:14:58,866 --> 00:15:00,500 Well, maybe if you just concentrate 305 00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,302 on one problem, like his temper. 306 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,405 Oh, everything in the newspaper makes him mad. 307 00:15:05,439 --> 00:15:08,174 Not Marmaduke! Never Marmaduke! 308 00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,844 Marmaduke was horrible today! 309 00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:14,581 Also, Marge is in therapy, and she didn't even tell me. 310 00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:17,150 Whoa. She has crossed a line. 311 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,152 How did you find out? 312 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,920 Spied on her with a hidden camera. 313 00:15:20,955 --> 00:15:22,656 She thinks I'm selfish. 314 00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:25,258 She thinks I don't spend enough time with the kids. 315 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,893 Well, that's crazy. Come on. 316 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,362 You work your butt off in a radioactive hellhole, 317 00:15:29,397 --> 00:15:32,098 and what do you get? Not one lousy superpower. 318 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:34,300 I guess the only choice is to come clean with her 319 00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,336 and tell her what I know, and how I know. 320 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,370 Whoa, whoa! 321 00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:38,872 Bad idea. No, no. 322 00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:42,008 Chicks do not like finding out they're being spied on. 323 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:48,548 I speak from loooooong.... 324 00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:49,916 experience. 325 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:52,085 No, you got to make it seem like 326 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,753 you found out by accident there. 327 00:15:53,788 --> 00:15:55,255 Um... ooh! 328 00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:57,090 Next week you schedule an appointment 329 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,260 with the therapist after hers, and then you bump into Midge 330 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:01,695 in the waiting room there. 331 00:16:01,729 --> 00:16:03,530 Moe, that's great! 332 00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:05,532 How do you get your ideas? 333 00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:07,834 Pretty much all my friends are divorced guys. 334 00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:11,705 Hello, Homie! 335 00:16:11,739 --> 00:16:12,872 Dinner's almost ready. 336 00:16:12,907 --> 00:16:15,809 Pork chops with my secret seasoning. 337 00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:19,913 Yeah, you do like your secrets, don't you, Marge? 338 00:16:19,947 --> 00:16:21,981 Don't lose your cool, Homer. 339 00:16:22,016 --> 00:16:25,385 The building block of a marriage is long silence. 340 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,120 Hey, where'd she go? 341 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,122 Good, good, you held your tongue there. 342 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,757 Because-- hey, where'd you go? 343 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:34,127 Doesn't anybody want me to give 'em advice? 344 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,996 Okay there, Fido, when you see that squirrel outside, 345 00:16:37,031 --> 00:16:39,632 at first you play it cool, you understand? 346 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,771 "I fear you"? 347 00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:47,407 This is what Valentine's Day means to you?! 348 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,275 This is what it means to everyone. 349 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,945 How can you be forced to say "I love you"? 350 00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:54,481 People only give Valentines because they're scared 351 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,950 of what would happen if they didn't. 352 00:16:56,984 --> 00:17:00,186 "Nelson, you frighten me so, 353 00:17:00,221 --> 00:17:02,655 "The psycho-est bully I know, 354 00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:06,159 "You're a sociopath in need of a bath, 355 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,395 I'm sure you'll wind up on death row." 356 00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:15,301 Mmm! You can really smell the fear on this. 357 00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:16,870 I rubbed it on Milhouse. 358 00:17:16,904 --> 00:17:19,439 Simpson, you just touched my heart's butt. 359 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,441 Why are you hugging yourself? 360 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,810 Why are you hugging yourself?! 361 00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:26,880 If Nelson doesn't do something bully-ish in two seconds, 362 00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:28,548 I'm gonna wedgie him. 363 00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:30,683 Nelson doesn't wear underwear. 364 00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:33,486 Wow. Always one step ahead. 365 00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,191 Uh, I'm here to check in for the 3:00. 366 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,994 Please fill out these forms, Mr. Fakinami. 367 00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:44,130 No, it's "Fake Name." I'll just call you Elias. 368 00:17:44,165 --> 00:17:46,499 That's "Alias." 369 00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:47,734 Duh. Hm! 370 00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:58,011 Finally. 371 00:17:58,045 --> 00:18:01,014 Time for the big bump-into. 372 00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:02,849 Same time next week, Marge? 373 00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:04,417 Oh, absolutely. 374 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,920 These sessions keep me on an even keel. 375 00:18:06,954 --> 00:18:10,557 Dr. Carlock is like my Wednesday reset button. 376 00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,258 Wednesday? 377 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:31,911 Okay, she's always in a good mood after therapy. 378 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:52,065 Oh, my God. 379 00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:53,900 Marge needs this. 380 00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:58,037 It lights her way through the dark path of marriage to me. 381 00:18:58,072 --> 00:18:59,706 Come on in, Mr. Fakinami. 382 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,441 No need. Everything's fine. 383 00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,544 I'm sorry, but there are no cancellations within 24 hours. 384 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,313 Well, as long as I'm paying for the time... 385 00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:09,382 Ow! Where'd you learn to cut hair? 386 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,185 You know, you have some anger issues. 387 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,920 More snip, less lip. 388 00:19:15,256 --> 00:19:17,090 Oh, I forgot to tell you, Homie, 389 00:19:17,124 --> 00:19:20,660 I bumped into Helen Lovejoy today, and guess what? 390 00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,128 I don't need to know, Marge. 391 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,430 You deserve to have your secrets. 392 00:19:24,465 --> 00:19:26,432 It's not a secret. It's a funny story. 393 00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:28,835 Okay, Marge, but first, well... 394 00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:31,104 I have something I need to tell you. 395 00:19:31,138 --> 00:19:33,339 Something I did you might be mad about, 396 00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:34,841 and rightly so. 397 00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:37,410 Oh, I bet my story's more interesting. 398 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,945 Whoo-hoo! I tried! 399 00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:40,079 Okay. Okay, 400 00:19:40,114 --> 00:19:42,081 so, Helen Lovejoy told me that 401 00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:45,151 she made her famous snickerdoodle Bundt cake for the church sale, 402 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,820 and she put in salt instead of sugar! 403 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,023 Yeah? And...? 404 00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:52,258 That's it. That was the story. 405 00:19:52,293 --> 00:19:54,594 Where's that cake now? It got sold. 406 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,329 Who bought it? Dr. Hibbert. 407 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:59,899 Excuse me. I have to make a call. Don't take too long. 408 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,337 Okay, Hibbert's in surgery, but they're having him paged. 409 00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:08,408 Wait, something's wrong. 410 00:20:08,442 --> 00:20:10,610 That's better. 411 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,445 Oh, dear God. 412 00:20:17,723 --> 00:20:20,658 Hi, Ralph. Um, I just wanted to tell you, 413 00:20:20,692 --> 00:20:23,728 there was a tooth in the Valentine you gave me. 414 00:20:23,762 --> 00:20:26,330 Plant it and you'll grow a new Ralph. 415 00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:29,467 I don't need a new Ralph. I like the old one. 416 00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:31,102 Happy Valentine's Day. 417 00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:33,971 Well, better get ready for St. Patrick's! 418 00:20:34,006 --> 00:20:39,006 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 419 00:21:22,898 --> 00:21:24,899 Shh!