1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:19,144 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,527 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:32,115 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,998 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,008 (tires screech) 7 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:04,230 -(tires screech) -(horn honking) 8 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,613 (tires screech) 9 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,534 -Aah! -(tires screech) 10 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,549 (chattering) 11 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,763 Now class, I don't want this field trip to be 12 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,098 a repeat of our infamous visit 13 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,350 to the Springfield State Prison. 14 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,144 So, I want you all to be on your best behavior, 15 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,105 especially you, Bart Simpson. 16 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,024 Mrs. Krabappel, I didn't unlock that door. 17 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:54,114 -(tires screech) -Uh, sorry, little dudes. 18 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,783 Party hardy was tardy. 19 00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:00,120 -All right, children. Count off. -One, two, three. 20 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,373 -Hey, Otto. Hey, Ottoman. -Hey, Bart dude. 21 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,375 Any new tattoos, Otto? 22 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,377 Oh, funny you should ask, man. 23 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,130 This morning I woke up with this one. 24 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,507 Cool. I want one. 25 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:16,052 Huh. Not till you're 14, my little friend. 26 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:21,766 Bart! Bart Simpson! 27 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,852 Take your seat, Bart. 28 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,354 Oh, please, Mrs. Krabappel, not next to Wendell. 29 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,774 He pukes on every bus ride. No offense, Wendell. 30 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:30,942 Oh. 31 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,153 Be that as it may, it's the only seat left, 32 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:37,240 -so get in there! -(laughing) 33 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,953 Please try not to shake the seat like that. 34 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,079 Now, class, remember. 35 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,415 Do not stick any part of your body out the window. 36 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,417 We all know the tragic story of the young man 37 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,877 who stuck his arm out the window 38 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,838 and had it ripped off by a big truck coming in the other direction. 39 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:55,133 -And I was that boy. -(laughter) 40 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,719 Uh, Bart Simpson, sit down! 41 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,846 I've had just about enough of your tomfoolery. 42 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,434 Oh, I don't feel so hot. 43 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,811 (chattering) 44 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,624 Look, there's our school again. 45 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:32,253 -Otto, are you sure you-- -It's a shortcut, Mrs. K. Trust me. 46 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,257 Mrs. Krabappel! Mrs. Krabappel! 47 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,926 Bart, not another word out of you, 48 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,594 or I'll subject you to the humiliation 49 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,679 of making you sing in front of the class. 50 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,973 -Can I pick the song? -No. 51 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,060 The song will be "John Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man." 52 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,229 Oh, no. 53 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,564 We're gonna make you sing, Bart Simpson. 54 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,317 Yeah, Bart Simpson, we're gonna make you sing. 55 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,326 That's it, Bart. 56 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,995 Oh, why can't you be more like, uh, uh-- 57 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,497 Us, Mrs. Krabappel? 58 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,794 Yes, Sherri and Terri. They know how to behave. 59 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,380 BART: Da, da, da, da, da, da. Whoa! 60 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,632 ♪ They took Bart Simpson to the graveyard ♪ 61 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:20,093 ♪ And they buried him in the sand ♪ 62 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,679 ♪ Oh, yeah, and every locomotive that comes rollin' by ♪ 63 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,472 KRABAPPEL: Bart. Bart! 64 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,474 ♪ Says there lies a steel-drivin' man ♪ 65 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,935 Okay, Bart. Enough! 66 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,896 Hey, Wendell, you made it, buddy. 67 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,898 (vomiting, children groaning) 68 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,822 And so, this plant harnesses the power of the atom 69 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,532 so that we have the energy 70 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,701 to run everything from your favorite video game 71 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,704 to yummy cotton candy machines. 72 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,205 (chuckles) 73 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,457 Let's learn more about nuclear energy, shall we? 74 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,459 Lights. 75 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,590 NARRATOR: When most people think of nuclear energy, 76 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,634 they think of this. 77 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,594 (children yelling) 78 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,847 But when we talk about nuclear energy, 79 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:09,934 we really mean this. 80 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,395 But what exactly is nuclear energy? 81 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,273 I don't know, but I know someone who does. 82 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:18,651 -Smilin' Joe Fission. -Hi, there, energy eaters. 83 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,321 I'm Smilin' Joe Fission, your atomic tour guide... 84 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,907 to the strange and exciting world of nuclear power. 85 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,244 And these are rods of uranium 235. Hi, Rod. 86 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,872 TOGETHER: Hi. Hey. Good to see ya. 87 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,373 Hey, you guys look hot. 88 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,083 -Of course we're hot. -We're radioactive. 89 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,336 Uh-oh. Well, how 'bout a dip in the pool? 90 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,756 TOGETHER: Yeah! Last one in's the rotten rod! 91 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,842 The rods make the water so hot it boils. 92 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,428 Ow! Ouch! Ow! 93 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,764 FISSION: And the steam spins turbines 94 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,807 that generate energy. 95 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,809 KRABAPPEL: Bart, sit down. 96 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,354 Uh-oh. Whoops. 97 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,482 Looks like there's a little leftover nuclear waste. No problem. 98 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:02,070 I'll just put it where nobody'll find it for a million years. 99 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,238 (sinister laugh) 100 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,532 So, now you know the whole true story of nuclear energy, 101 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,534 our no longer misunderstood friend. 102 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,245 So, keep on smilin'. 103 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,998 (cheering, applauding) 104 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,918 Now, let's have even more fun. 105 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,806 And, uh, over here is our thermal regulator. 106 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,141 To your right, if you look through this window, 107 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,145 you'll see where our water rejoins the rest of nature's biosphere. 108 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,527 Hey, Bart, our dad says your dad is incompetent. 109 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,362 What does incompetent mean? 110 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,280 It means he spends more time 111 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,117 yakking and scarfing down doughnuts than doing his job. 112 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,995 Oh, okay. I thought you were putting him down. 113 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,958 You know, I defy anyone to tell the difference 114 00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:00,878 between these doughnuts and ones baked today. 115 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,048 My boy's supposed to be here any second on a field trip. 116 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,466 They been through here yet? 117 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,551 Come on, Simpson. 118 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,594 If they wanted the kids to see you sitting around 119 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,221 on your butt and stuffin' your face, 120 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,223 they'd take them on a tour of your house. 121 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:15,518 You're right. I gotta get where the action is. 122 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,478 Comin' through! 123 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,772 Hey, there's my dad. 124 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:24,694 Hey, Dad! Yo, Homer! Woo! Woo! I'm up here! 125 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,530 Oh, hi, boy! 126 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,991 (siren blaring) 127 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,290 All right. Who's responsible for this? 128 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,167 (gulps) 129 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,460 I might have known it was you, Simpson. 130 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,586 But, sir, I-- 131 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:44,672 I don't want to hear about it, Simpson. You're fired! 132 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,550 -Oh, hi, girls. -Hi, Daddy. 133 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,720 (groaning) 134 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,194 Here's a good job at the fireworks factory. 135 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,778 Those perfectionists? Forget it. 136 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,363 How 'bout this? 137 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,366 Supervising technician at the toxic waste dump. 138 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:16,162 I'm no supervising technician. I'm a technical supervisor. 139 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,373 I've never done anything worthwhile in my life. 140 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,542 I'm a big, worthless nothing. 141 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,378 There, there, Homer. You'll find a job. 142 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,380 You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, 143 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,090 and you've always bounced back. 144 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,052 -Yeah, Dad, you can do it! -Yeah, go for it, Dad. 145 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,221 You're right! I'm young, I'm able-bodied, 146 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,097 and I'll take anything! 147 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,476 Watch out, Springfield. Here I come. 148 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,275 Don't give up, Dad. 149 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:51,572 I'm just a technical supervisor who cared too much. 150 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,158 -Moe's Tavern. -BART: Is Mr. Freely there? 151 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,911 -Who? -Freely. First initials "I.P." 152 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,955 Hold on. I'll check. 153 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,542 Uh, is I.P. Freely here? 154 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,546 Hey, everybody! I.P. Freely! 155 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,344 Wait a minute. Listen to me, ya lousy bum. 156 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,304 -(Bart laughing) -When I get a hold of you, you're dead. 157 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,640 I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half. 158 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,896 You'll get that punk someday, Moe. 159 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,273 Ah, I don't know. 160 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:28,150 He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name. 161 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,654 Oh, I think I'll have another-- Oops. 162 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,906 Oh, I'm a little low on funds. 163 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,866 Do you think you can cover me just this once? 164 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:36,993 No, sorry. 165 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,452 W-Why not? 166 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,122 I think after all these years I deserve an explanation. 167 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,207 I don't think you're ever gonna get another job 168 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,875 and be able to pay me back. 169 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,502 -Oh. -Don't worry. 170 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,087 We're still friends. 171 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:52,717 ♪ I fall to pieces ♪♪ 172 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,304 (mumbling) 173 00:09:56,387 --> 00:10:00,474 -All you all right, Homer? -I'm fine. I'm just thinking. 174 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:04,061 Well, I've been thinking too. 175 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,690 You know, Homer, you've always been such a good provider, 176 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,650 but when we got married, 177 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,695 Mr. Berger promised I could come back to my old job 178 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,155 anytime I wanted. 179 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:17,158 You think you can still do that kind of work? 180 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,620 Sure. You never forget. It's just like riding a bicycle. 181 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,997 (horn honks) 182 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,750 Hey, Mama, where's my fries already? 183 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,793 -(growling) -(horn honking) 184 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,924 Dad, eat something. It's got mustard on it. 185 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:41,766 All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale. 186 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:47,021 I don't know what else to do. 187 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,898 There's only one thing we can do: 188 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,483 take advantage of the old guy. 189 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,903 You gotta sign my report card, Dad. 190 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,491 (yelling on TV) 191 00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,909 ANNOUNCER: Loaftime, 192 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,577 the cable network for the unemployed. 193 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,288 We'll be back with more tips on how to win the lottery 194 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,498 right after this. 195 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,668 ANNOUNCER 2: Unemployed? Out of work? Sober? 196 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:13,339 You sat around the house all day, but now it's Duff time. 197 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,676 Duff, the beer that makes the days fly by. 198 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,637 ♪ Can't get enough of that wonderful Duff ♪ 199 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,430 -♪ Duff beer ♪ -Beer. 200 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,849 Now there's a temporary solution. 201 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,270 There must be some beer here somewhere. 202 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,272 Ah. Maybe in here. 203 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,528 Damn! I need money! 204 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,448 (moaning) 205 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,788 (snorting) 206 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,962 Oh, no. What have I done? 207 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:56,841 I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? 208 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,843 A few measly cents. 209 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,679 Not even enough to buy one beer. 210 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,556 Wait a minute. 211 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,726 Let me count and make sure. Not even close. 212 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,981 (thinking) Dear family. 213 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:17,069 I am an utter failure, and you'll be better off without me. 214 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:22,158 By the time you read this, I will be in my watery grave. 215 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:26,203 I can only leave you with the words my father gave me: 216 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:31,167 "Stand tall, have courage and never give up." 217 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,795 I only hope I can provide a better model... 218 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,797 in death than I did in life. 219 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,967 Warmest regards. 220 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:45,514 Love, Homer J. Simpson. 221 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,440 (grunting) 222 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,442 (squeaking) 223 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:02,114 (grunting continues) 224 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,413 (sniffles) 225 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,457 (grunting continues) 226 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,671 Nothing's easy. 227 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:29,475 Oh, looks like young Simpson is going to kill himself. 228 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,185 Well, maybe not. 229 00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:34,104 Maybe he's just taking his boulder for a walk. 230 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,440 Oh. 231 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,276 -Mom! Mom! Wake up! -We've been robbed! 232 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,738 -What? -Someone swiped my piggy bank! 233 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,032 (gasps) Your father's gone too! 234 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,910 -Look what I found. -(gasps) 235 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,412 (grunting continues) 236 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,748 Almost there. 237 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,918 (horn honking) 238 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,879 Hey, you idiot! Watch where you're going! 239 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,469 Well, live and learn. 240 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,430 There he is! Don't do it, Dad! 241 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,858 Boy, this intersection is dangerous. 242 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,987 Someone ought to put a stop sign here. 243 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,489 (gasps) Oh, Homer. 244 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,700 How could you think of killing yourself? 245 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,326 We love you. 246 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,620 -Yeah, Dad. We love you. -Yeah. 247 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,830 Kill myself? 248 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,874 Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. 249 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,252 Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. 250 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,337 I don't care who I have to face. 251 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,590 I don't care who I have to fight. 252 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:47,553 I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign! 253 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,350 Next on the agenda. Police Chief Wiggum 254 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,603 will give us an update on our graffiti problem. 255 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,439 Well, it's no secret our city is under siege 256 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:01,358 by a graffiti vandal known as "El Barto." 257 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,737 Police artists have a composite sketch of the culprit. 258 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:09,199 If anyone has any information, please contact us immediately. 259 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,119 Cool, man. 260 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,245 Tough customer. 261 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,247 Ooh, wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley. 262 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,291 And now, new business. 263 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,336 Homer Simpson, local resident, has something. Mr. Simpson? 264 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,589 Don't be nervous. We believe in you, Homer. 265 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,883 (clears throat) 266 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:29,136 Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed councilmen, 267 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:33,766 boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do. 268 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,352 Danger comes in many, many forms, 269 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,855 from dinosaurs that tormented our caveman ancestors to the-- 270 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,941 Simpson, get to the point. 271 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,610 I think we should put a stop sign at "D" Street and 12th. 272 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,612 -The other-- -All in favor? 273 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,989 -Aye. -Approved. Meeting adjourned. 274 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,909 Coffee and maple logs in the lobby. 275 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,078 Wow. They listened to me. 276 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,705 -All right, Dad! -Way to go, Homer. 277 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,290 You did it, Homer. 278 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,959 If they think I'm gonna stop at that stop sign, 279 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,961 they're sadly mistaken. 280 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,047 (camera shutter flashes) 281 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,529 Oh, Homer, I am so proud of you. 282 00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,280 Proud? Proud of what? 283 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:34,284 Well, everything. Your dip sign, for instance. 284 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,078 Now people won't be caught off guard 285 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,830 by that little "mm-mmm" in the road. 286 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:40,582 Ah, what a great family, but come on. 287 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,002 We all know this is small potatoes. 288 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,795 There's a danger in this town 289 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,423 that is bigger than all the dips put together. 290 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:52,302 -What, Dad? -I'm talking about that. 291 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,139 You don't mean you're going to take on your old bosses. 292 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:58,058 -Wow. -Gee, Dad's a hero. 293 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,352 -What'd ya say, son? -Nothin'. 294 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,854 That's okay. 295 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,190 I'll just assume you said what I thought I heard you say. 296 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,151 (cheering, yelling) 297 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:11,363 He also brought you the speed bump-- 298 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,491 -(cheering) -The dip sign, 299 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:19,413 the 15 miles per hour speed limit on Main Street. 300 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:23,417 I give you the man whose very name is synonymous with safety. 301 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,710 -Homer Simpson! -(cheering) 302 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:29,757 -Homer! Homer! -Thank you. 303 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,677 Unlike most of you, I am not a nut. 304 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,681 Just a good, honest American who opposes wrongdoing... 305 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:41,977 and especially carelessness wherever they occur. 306 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,855 (groans) Look at that man. 307 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:48,442 He has the crowd in the palm of his hand. 308 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,070 Ah, haven't seen anything like it since Jolson. 309 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,821 Who is he? 310 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,157 That's Homer Simpson, sir. 311 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,201 He used to work here in the plant, 312 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,036 but we fired him for gross incompetence. 313 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,039 Oh, so that's his little game. 314 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,333 Get this Simpson character up here right now. 315 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,876 But Mr. Burns-- 316 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,963 I said do it! Now do it! Do it! Do it! 317 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:15,552 Our lives are at the hands of men no smarter than you or I, 318 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,430 many of them, incompetent boobs. 319 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,683 I know this because I worked alongside them, 320 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,685 gone bowling with them, 321 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,815 watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. 322 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:32,069 -And I say, this stinks! -(cheering) 323 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:36,281 Hey. Hey, Simpson, Burns wants to talk to you privately. 324 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,283 -Privately? -Yes. 325 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,370 Stay here. I'll be right back. 326 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,039 (cheering) 327 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:52,047 Ah, Homer Simpson, at last we meet. Same here. 328 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:57,177 Simpson, I want you to rejoin our power plant family. 329 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,764 -Sorry. No can do. -Hear me out, Simpson! 330 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,601 I don't want you to come back as a technical supervisor 331 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,436 or supervising technician 332 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,480 or whatever the hell you used to do. 333 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:12,734 I want you to be in charge of safety here at the plant. 334 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:15,904 -Safety? -But, sir, if truth be known, 335 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,865 I actually caused more accidents around here 336 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,324 than any other employee. 337 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,161 There were even a few doozies no one ever found out about. 338 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,122 The generous offer I'm making is good for exactly... 339 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:27,791 30 seconds, Simpson. 340 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,127 (thinking) Me, in charge of safety? 341 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,421 This place could blow sky high. 342 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,340 Nah. I'll concentrate on my work now. 343 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,342 Gee, this guy's desk sure is big. 344 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,012 I can't let Marge support the family. 345 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,847 This guy's got the cleanest shirt I've ever seen. 346 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:42,973 What should I-- 347 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,933 Simpson, time's up. 348 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,352 Mmm, what the hey. I'll take the job. 349 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,478 Excellent. 350 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,858 Your first duty will be to step out on the balcony 351 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:56,486 and tell that crowd this plant is safe. 352 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,489 -What? -Go on, Homer. 353 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:03,493 Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer! 354 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,829 -(cheering, applauding) -MARGE: Yeah, Homer! 355 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,873 LISA: Go, Dad! 356 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:12,127 Ladies and gentlemen, this plant is-- 357 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,554 Oh, sit tight. I'll be right back. 358 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:26,308 (cheering) 359 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:28,477 I can't do it, Mr. Burns. 360 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,605 You mean, you're willing to give up a good job and a raise 361 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,024 just for your principles? 362 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:37,736 Mmm. When you put it that way, it does sound a little farfetched, 363 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,738 but that's the lug you're lookin' at! 364 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:43,367 And I vow to continue spending every free minute I have... 365 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,994 crusading for safety! 366 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,914 Of course, I'd have a lot less of those free minutes 367 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,540 if you gave me the job. 368 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,210 Mmm. You're not as stupid as you look or sound... 369 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,712 or our best testing indicates. 370 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,507 You've got the job. Now get to work! 371 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,384 I'll get to work, 372 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:04,179 but first I have to say good-bye to some friends. 373 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,681 (door sliding open) 374 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,558 -(cheering) -Friends, 375 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,938 you have come to depend on me as your safety watchdog 376 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:16,066 so you won't scrape yourself or stub your toes 377 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,068 or blow yourselves up. 378 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:21,154 But you can't depend on me all your life. 379 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:25,534 You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us, 380 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,329 and I'm going to have to live without your respect and awe. 381 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,625 The only reason I'm telling you this is... 382 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,169 I'm going to be leaving you. 383 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:39,298 -(gasps) -But don't worry. 384 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:41,466 I have just been appointed 385 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,720 the new safety inspector at this very plant... 386 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,765 with a big, fat raise! 387 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:50,892 (cheering) 388 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,312 Hey, that's my pop up there! Dad, watch out! 389 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,564 (screaming) 390 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,566 Whoa, easy! Don't drop me. 391 00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,027 -Be careful. -Homer! Homer! Homer! 392 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:03,322 ♪♪ 393 00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:05,175 -(mumbling) -Shh.