1 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,017 I love a good panel. 2 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,486 Krusty clearly hates being there, 3 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,389 but he still gets super mad when anyone but him talks. 4 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:24,558 Please welcome the legendary stars 5 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,927 of the Krusty the Clown Show. 6 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,396 (cheering) 7 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,663 Hey-hey! 8 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,266 And a non-writing producer. 9 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,934 Ooh, non-writing. 10 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,669 Hey-hey, kids! 11 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,438 ALL: Hey-hey, Krusty! 12 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:41,075 Have we got a great panel planned for you today. 13 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,043 What is it, Howard, the usual crap? 14 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,714 Oh, yeah, that'll kill some time. 15 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,120 (audience screams) 16 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,521 (grunting) 17 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,957 Kids, call the police! This isn't a sketch! 18 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,058 (groans) 19 00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,059 Ah. 20 00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,394 My legs! 21 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,062 Stick to the script. 22 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,298 (straining): Ladies and gentlemen, 23 00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:07,067 Miami Sound Machine. 24 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,336 ♪ Come on, shake... ♪ 25 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,539 Where do you come up with your ideas? 26 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,441 I'm a genius. Next. 27 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,777 -Are there any plans... -BOTH: For another Krusty movie? 28 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,647 We're waiting for a story that needs to be told. 29 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,083 Once we see that, we'll copy it and call it a parody. 30 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,253 Oy. Does anyone have a question 31 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,688 that hasn't been asked a thousand times? 32 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,593 I have the worst fans in the world. 33 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,728 Now we've got a big surprise 34 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,498 for the best fans in the world! 35 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,767 We're making some big changes 36 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,969 to your favorite cartoon. 37 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,273 -(audience gasps) -MAN: It's different. 38 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:49,143 It's an all-female reboot of Itchy & Scratchy! 39 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:52,646 BOTH: Oh, my God! 40 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,083 Pretty enlightened, eh, kids? We here at the Krusty Show 41 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,118 really care about gender diversity. 42 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,855 Ask anyone: our lawyers, our attorneys, anyone. 43 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,357 A girl Itchy & Scratchy? 44 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,459 No, no, no, this can't be. 45 00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,628 They've ruined my childhood. 46 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,963 Your childhood is currently happening. 47 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,199 That's how I know. 48 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,833 It doesn't make any sense. 49 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,469 In real life, Itchy and Scratchy are dudes. 50 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:18,172 Girl mice don't have the upper body strength 51 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,373 to wield a chain saw. 52 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,542 Is truth dead? 53 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,644 BOYS: Boo! 54 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,814 Ah, you boys are leaving me for video games anyway. 55 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,217 Zap, zap, zap, you'll all die alone. 56 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,118 Girl power is where it's at. 57 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,354 That movie where Superman was a chick 58 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,524 made a megillah of shekels. Am I right, ladies? 59 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,326 (girls cheering) 60 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,394 See? Girls like my pandering. 61 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:43,163 Remember this if there's ever a gender war. 62 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,165 Oh, this is the worst change 63 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,401 Krusty's ever made to the show, 64 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,338 even worse than Sideshow Leonard Cohen. 65 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,005 When girl Itchy & Scratchy comes on, 66 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:53,541 we should totally hate-watch it. 67 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,009 No, everybody come over to my house, 68 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,811 and we'll turn off the TV the second 69 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,046 that girl cartoon comes on. 70 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,215 We'll hate-not-watch it. 71 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,651 Yeah! Hate-not-watch! 72 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,220 Yeah, that won't not show 'em. 73 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,023 I never really thought about Itchy and Scratchy 74 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:14,027 as male or female, but it is cool that they're girls now. 75 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,096 I always thought they were a married couple, 76 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,998 and that's why they fought so much. 77 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,434 Mom, they're different species. 78 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:23,471 I don't know what to be liberal about anymore. 79 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,908 I am so pumped to hate-not-watch Itchy & Scratchy. 80 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,744 I've not popped the popcorn, the lights are not turned down. 81 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,012 Perfect. 82 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,015 Listen, son, I'm proud that you're starting to hate things, 83 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,049 but take it slow. 84 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,352 If you use up all your hate when you're young, 85 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:42,055 one day you'll be an old man who likes things that suck. 86 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,091 ANNOUNCER (on TV): Tonight, cabbage. 87 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,894 It is a lovely shade of gray, 88 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,229 and just look at the wrinkling. 89 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:54,034 All I'm saying is, if they ever make a female Mr. Magoo, 90 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,804 I will lose it, I will just lose it! 91 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,071 KRUSTY (on TV): Hey-hey, kids! 92 00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,207 It's time to tickle your funny bones 93 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,111 and your Equal Employment Opportunity Commission bones 94 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,147 by presenting the all-new, all-female 95 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,149 Itchy & Scratchy! 96 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,752 Now to sit in silence till it's over. 97 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,954 Blindfolds on, gentlemen. 98 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,225 This is Lisa Simpson, 99 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,161 recording my reaction to this historic moment 100 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,797 in cartoon women's history. 101 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,300 SINGERS: ♪ They fight, they bite ♪ 102 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,135 ♪ They bite and fight and bite, bite, bite, bite ♪ 103 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,570 KRUSTY: ♪ Now they're girls ♪ 104 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,004 SINGERS: ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy ♪ 105 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,340 KRUSTY: ♪ Girls! ♪ 106 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,010 May I? 107 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,121 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way 'round ♪ 108 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,691 ♪ Two bottle o' whiskey for the way ♪ 109 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,793 (in distance): ♪ And I sure would like ♪ 110 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,362 ♪ Some sweet company ♪ 111 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,364 ♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow ♪ 112 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,499 ♪ What do you say? ♪ 113 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:02,202 -(laughing) -♪ When I'm gone, when I'm gone ♪ 114 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,838 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone ♪ 115 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:07,708 -(laughing) -♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me... ♪ 116 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,612 Ha-ha! I knew you couldn't resist watching. 117 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:15,182 And guess what, you laughed! It was funny. 118 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,017 I-I wasn't laughing. 119 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,688 I-I was crying a-and burping! 120 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,125 And... open. 121 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,226 We did it. 122 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,629 We prejudged something without giving it a chance. 123 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,031 I am so proud of us. 124 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:34,702 Like Bart Simpson would ever watch a girl Itchy & Scratchy. 125 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,237 Never gonna happen. 126 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,506 -(grunting) -Yeah. 127 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:41,475 That little liar. If only people could know 128 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,378 that Bart laughed even harder than I did... 129 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:45,913 (gasps) 130 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,582 All right, you soda-squirting hypocrite, 131 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,385 I know exactly what to do with this video. 132 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,421 ♪ 133 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,993 TOSHUA JOSH (on TV): Welcome to Josh.0, 134 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,763 the show for people who want to look at the Internet 135 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,165 but don't have a computer or a phone. 136 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,436 You know what bugs me about old guys at the gym? 137 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,872 They always forget to wipe down the machine. 138 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,675 (laughing): He means the blood. 139 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:18,446 Now, this boy says he hates all-girl Itchy & Scratchy, 140 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,347 but then this happened... 141 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,883 (laughing) 142 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,118 Bart, you got to see this! 143 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,521 Some old guy at a gym got hit by a boat! 144 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:31,291 Also, now everyone knows you're the world's biggest hypocrite. 145 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,293 (laughing) 146 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,030 (laughing): You said you weren't gonna watch it, 147 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,867 and then you did and you loved it! 148 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:44,071 Then you got busted and I called you in here and laughed at you! 149 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,140 And I'm still doing it! 150 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,042 Look at you. 151 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,044 What a jerk. 152 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,079 (Bart groans) 153 00:06:57,618 --> 00:07:01,121 Well, Bart, how does it feel to be trolled, memed, giffed, 154 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,390 and, dare I say, pwned? 155 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,058 How do you know those words? 156 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,327 I read about them in Parade magazine. 157 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,330 Big deal, I was exposed as a liar on the Internet. 158 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,834 I've got so much cred built up, nothing can take me down. 159 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,969 You betrayed us, Bart. 160 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,972 And worse, you betrayed your own wang. 161 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,009 You know what? Yes, I laughed at a cartoon. 162 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,944 Why? Because it was funny. 163 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,813 So what if Itchy and Scratchy are girls? 164 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,616 I laughed, and you can't take back the laugh. 165 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,950 Girls aren't funny. 166 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,019 They're hot or moms. 167 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,020 Or both. 168 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,355 Girls stole Itchy and Scratchy. 169 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:38,626 What are they gonna take next, our body spray? 170 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,761 Our puka shell necklaces? 171 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,530 -Yeah! -Lame! 172 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,999 Girls get everything: bigger, softer baseballs, 173 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,603 chick flicks, two-piece bathing suits, 174 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,471 and on House Hunters International, 175 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,174 they always choose the house that she wants. 176 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,544 He's right. The wife gets the beach view, 177 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,479 but it's always a longer commute for the husband. 178 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,148 -You know, you're right. -Oh, yeah. 179 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,482 You guys see what's happening? 180 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,718 You're listening to Milhouse! 181 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:07,320 So? Maybe we are. 182 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,823 MILHOUSE: They are listening to me. 183 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,627 The next thing I say must be perfectly chosen 184 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,463 to show I am worthy of leadership. 185 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,731 Get him! 186 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,867 (shouting) 187 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,869 (panting) 188 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,904 (groans) 189 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,907 (groans) 190 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,249 -(boys growling) -(Bart gasps) 191 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,485 (hissing) 192 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,255 (gasps) Sixth graders. Tweens. 193 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,992 What are you doing in the girl's room, Seat Soaker? 194 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,994 No, no, I didn't mean to come in here. 195 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,596 I need sanctuary. 196 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:52,065 Hey, you guys have a candy machine? No fair. 197 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,401 Spin him till he barfs. 198 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,903 Ah! 199 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,105 I'm full of hummus and milk! 200 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,140 (groaning) 201 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,211 Pink spray paint? 202 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,547 Give that back. That's for Skinner's office. 203 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,183 You tell anyone about this, you're canceled. 204 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,720 Charlie Rose canceled. 205 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,389 No, no, no, you can trust me. I'm not just any fourth grader. 206 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,560 Whoa, this dude's El Barto. 207 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:24,197 Huh, I always thought it was that fifth grader, Eloise Barto. 208 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,099 Yeah, sometimes I get her e-mail. 209 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,702 You know, if you fill up a leaf blower with paint, 210 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,570 you can coat Skinner's whole office. 211 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,973 -Duh. -Double duh. 212 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,542 Where are we gonna get a leaf blower? 213 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,144 Willie's shack. 214 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,478 (sound of bagpipes playing) 215 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,383 Whoa, homemade prank masks. 216 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,185 The knit is on. 217 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,158 This'll teach Skinner to ban sandals. 218 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,794 Oh, he will not silence our toes. 219 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,328 Hurry, Skinner's almost back 220 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,264 from his lunchtime dog-walking job. 221 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,399 (humming) 222 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,434 (door opens) 223 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,639 I will not negotiate with terrorists. 224 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,608 I'll just give in. Sandals unbanned. 225 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:14,147 Ladies, that was smooth, Barbie smooth. 226 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,949 So smooth. 227 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,285 Hey, why are you still here, truck-nuts? 228 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,287 Whoa, is this your hideout? 229 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,122 It's the old Home Ec classroom, 230 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,691 where they would brainwash girls 231 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,425 into being good little housewives, 232 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,027 but now it's our war room. 233 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,429 Also, we cook here, 234 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,998 we do a little bit of sewing. 235 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,800 Stop telling him things! 236 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,168 Cooties be damned, you girls are badass 237 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,704 and your pranks are next level. 238 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,772 Take a seat and learn something. 239 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,941 We don't do "pranks," 240 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,143 we drop awareness bombs. 241 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,613 Our protest crew is called Bossy Riot. 242 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,381 We're pushing back against the pushback, 243 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,383 starting with this school. 244 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,353 Look at this his-tory book. 245 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,022 BART: Cool shades. 246 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,828 That is textbook textbook shredding. 247 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,662 Now do you see what we're doing here? 248 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,664 I think I do. 249 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:09,002 You're sticking it to the man, but this time, the man is men. 250 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,038 Look, you got to let me join your gang. 251 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,707 You know, if we're really serious about gender equality, 252 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,243 it's only right that a boy be our servant. 253 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,814 Okay, No-varies, you're in, if you pass this test... 254 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,683 Steal Skinner's cell phone. 255 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,585 Work or personal? 256 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,454 -CHALMERS: Skinner! -AGNES: Seymour! 257 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,523 Welcome to girlhood. 258 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,064 Gentlemen, our way of life 259 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,399 -is under attack. -Hear, hear! 260 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,669 Society is trying to erase boys. 261 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,873 They give us drugs that make us do girly things, 262 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,674 like pay attention. 263 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,677 They're putting drugs in our medication? 264 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,079 We need to band together. 265 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,714 Like a sorority, but for dudes. 266 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:58,585 I give you the Boys Rights Association. 267 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,888 -BOYS: BRA! -B-R-A. 268 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,956 -Right now, we're just training BRAs. -Mm-hmm. 269 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,392 But soon, we'll be the strongest, 270 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:08,962 most supportive BRAs anyone has ever seen. 271 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:12,933 (chanting): We are BRAs! We are BRAs! 272 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,903 Our son has one, two... (gasps) 273 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,938 ...eight friends. 274 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:21,274 They're more than just friends, he's-he's the leader. 275 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,876 (exhales) 276 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,978 I'm feeling this wave of relief, 277 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,247 not worrying about my son's social life. 278 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:31,952 I can stop being a mother and start being a... a woman. 279 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,922 (exhales) Say it. Say it again. 280 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,958 Our son has friends. 281 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,797 ♪ Old folks say "You poor little fool" ♪ 282 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:47,567 ♪ Down the streets, I'm the girl next door ♪ 283 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,570 ♪ I'm the fox you've been waiting for ♪ 284 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,740 ♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪ 285 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,510 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 286 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,747 ♪ Hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪ 287 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,751 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 288 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,955 ♪ Stone Age love and strange sounds, too... ♪ 289 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,158 This is why I sit. 290 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,761 ♪ Bad nights causing teenage blues ♪ 291 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,765 ♪ Get down, ladies, you've got nothing to lose ♪ 292 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,668 ♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪ 293 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:26,373 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb... ♪ 294 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,540 BROCKMAN: Springfield, 295 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,142 a town living in fear, 296 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:32,112 as masked pranksters calling themselves "Bossy Riot," 297 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,647 spread their terrifying message of female empowerment. 298 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,985 The latest victim of this "gal Qaeda," our once-proud symbol 299 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,820 of the portly pastry-purveying patriarchy. 300 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,822 HOMER: "Lard Lady"? 301 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:46,359 But a donut is the ultimate symbol of masculinity. 302 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:49,229 The only lead police have as to the identity of Bossy Riot 303 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,564 is this security camera footage. 304 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,466 (Homer laughs) 305 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,502 HOMER: Moe and his bats. 306 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,172 Bossy Riot is so cool. 307 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,974 We need fearless female activists 308 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,511 to fight back against misogyny and man-spreading. 309 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:08,248 Well, whoever they are, they are the coolest badasses 310 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,751 this town has ever seen, whoever they are. 311 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,221 Ooh, Bart winked at me. 312 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,823 I must be in on a joke. (chuckles) 313 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,358 -(Bart humming) -Hmm... 314 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,597 -(screams) -Bart, are you in Bossy Riot? 315 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,666 -No way. -Ah, good. 316 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,002 Because if you were fighting for women's rights, 317 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:32,739 it would destroy my entire vision of the universe. 318 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,874 -Actually, I totally am. -(shouts) 319 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,114 You can't be an activist for women's rights. 320 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,083 You don't know anything about the feminist cause. 321 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,052 Sure I do. Chicks get a raw deal. 322 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,687 I'm a little fuzzy on the deets, but take my word for it. 323 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,024 (groans) It's all about the deets. You're not a girl. 324 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,094 -You just want to spray-paint the world and watch it drip. -Mm-hmm. 325 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,097 You've never been called shrill just because you speak up. 326 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,934 And-and girls' clothing has no pockets, 327 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,703 while yours are lousy with pockets! 328 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,239 This is good stuff, I got to write it down. 329 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,544 (Bart humming) 330 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,746 This is someone else's war, 331 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,117 and you, y-you're just a mercenary. 332 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,419 Mercenaries are cool, like Boba Fett. 333 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,156 Oh, yeah, Boba Fett, great character. 334 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:26,559 Boba Fett's badass. He wears a jetpack and a cape. 335 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,061 Pick a lane, weirdo. 336 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,097 Why does every discussion about feminism 337 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,932 turn into an argument about Star Wars? 338 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,968 If Boba Fett's such a great bounty hunter, 339 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,437 why is his armor all banged up? 340 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,940 (sighs) It's a look, like distressed denim. 341 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,942 You shouldn't be part of a protest 342 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,178 if you don't care about the cause. 343 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,947 Well, you care. Why don't you come with? 344 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,616 Maybe I will. 345 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,019 Great. Bring black gloves and no ID. 346 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,520 You've been Tasered before, right? 347 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,122 It only hurts until you pass out. 348 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,590 I'm excited; I want to, I do, but... 349 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,592 there's a part of me that's scared, 350 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,096 and that part is my body and my head. 351 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,364 It's okay, I get it. 352 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,099 There's nothing wrong with being all talk. 353 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,468 Us feminists need cheerleaders, too. 354 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,536 (groans) 355 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,207 So, what's up, my fellow Ruthless Bader Ginsburgs? 356 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,376 What's on the a-gender for the evening? 357 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,879 Your friends in the so-called "Boys Rights Association" 358 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,149 have been protesting The Krusty Show. 359 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,884 I told you not to light the toys yet. 360 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:28,355 I didn't, they just burst into flames. 361 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,058 Krusty caved. He said he'd never show 362 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,127 another all-girl Itchy & Scratchy ever again. 363 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,130 So we're gonna destroy the master tapes 364 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,866 of every Itchy & Scratchy. 365 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,168 Wait, what? No. 366 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,802 I love those cartoons. 367 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,471 I can't let you do it. 368 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,006 Oh, you can't "let" us? 369 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,212 Don't have a lady cow. 370 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:56,049 All cows are ladies. 371 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,656 That thing you said about me being all talk? 372 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,160 Well, I have prepared two comebacks, 373 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,429 and I will now give you both. 374 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:13,032 Those girls are gonna destroy every Itchy & Scratchy, forever! 375 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,035 (grunting) 376 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,037 Hey, hey, boys and boys! 377 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,872 Well, congratulations, 378 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,076 I'm never gonna air the girl Itchy & Scratchy again. 379 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:27,714 You hit me where it hurts the most: right in the sponsors. 380 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,048 Buy 'em all. 381 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,223 (gasps) We're too late. 382 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,195 They're going to destroy the tapes on live TV. 383 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,197 Let's get him out of those bras and go. 384 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:48,368 Uh, no, you can leave me like this. I'm good. 385 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,069 We are Bossy Riot, 386 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:53,373 and we're gonna drop all the original Itchy & Scratchys 387 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,476 into a pool of nail polish remover. 388 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,744 (all gasping) 389 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:04,050 That's crazy. We have those backed up a thousand times. 390 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,052 Right, Howard? 391 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,055 What do you do?! 392 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,057 Don't do it. Those shows are funny. 393 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,992 Mice killing cats, guts everywhere. 394 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,995 It doesn't matter if it's boy guts or girl guts. 395 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,397 Guts are guts. 396 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599 See, the thing about comedy is... 397 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,101 Bart, stop mansplaining! 398 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,803 No, no, no, no, if I keep talking, 399 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,605 they'll get it eventually. 400 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,479 (grunts) 401 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,319 The fumes are burning my eyes. 402 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:43,122 (all crying) 403 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:47,126 Look, they're crying, on live TV. 404 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,129 Glitterize their tears. 405 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,165 Mama! 406 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,617 Don't worry, sir, your brothers are united 407 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,852 in blaming this on you. 408 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,787 (shouting in agreement) 409 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,823 (groans) 410 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,828 Hey, hey! Come back here! 411 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,531 You there, sweet innocent girls, 412 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:28,034 did you see three crazed man-haters run through here? 413 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,903 Gee, Officer, they went that way. 414 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,039 Thanks, princess. Thank you. 415 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,242 Wait a second. 416 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,678 Do any of you babysit? 417 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,547 Great. Be at my house Saturday at 7:00. 418 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,049 And if Ralph asks you to give him a bath, 419 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,352 do not give him a bath. 420 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,054 So I guess I'm not in the group anymore. 421 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,223 You were never in the group. 422 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:53,059 We just kept you around for fingerprints and DNA. 423 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:56,195 But making those boys cry was hardcore. 424 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,732 You, uh, ever think about wearing the yarn? 425 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,701 Me? Join you? 426 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,237 Can I do it? Can I push my beliefs further 427 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,673 than they've ever gone? 428 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,708 -Well, let us know. -(clicks tongue) 429 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,945 Mask me. 430 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,718 ("Extreme Ways" by Moby playing) 431 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,724 So spill it, Simpson. You were on the inside. 432 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,492 What's the deal with girls? 433 00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,094 Well, check this out: they also burp. 434 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,096 No way. From where? 435 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,932 Is that even allowed? 436 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,300 Let's see, what else? 437 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:09,302 They're always telling each other they're pretty, 438 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,971 their bathroom candy tastes really weird, 439 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,674 but there's one thing that really crushed me. 440 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,909 I almost don't want to say it out loud. 441 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,578 They don't envy us. 442 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,912 -♪ -Oh... 443 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,481 (gasps) 444 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,482 (sighs) 445 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,084 (Milhouse sobs quietly) 446 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,125 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 447 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,562 Shh!