1
00:00:07,523 --> 00:00:09,056
D'oh!
2
00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:13,394
Huh?
3
00:00:16,198 --> 00:00:17,197
D'oh!
4
00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,534
No parking spots?
5
00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:22,136
Lousy butt-kissers,
6
00:00:22,171 --> 00:00:23,771
coming in before noon,
7
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,874
eating donuts that are rightfully mine.
8
00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:29,109
Oh, oh, oh!
9
00:00:29,145 --> 00:00:31,679
D'oh! Stupid Smart Car.
10
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:36,150
D'oh! Spot-hogging S.U.V.
11
00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:40,354
D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole.
12
00:00:41,557 --> 00:00:44,024
D'oh! Mandatory credit.
13
00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:46,827
D'oh! "Developed by"?
14
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:49,096
What does that even mean?
15
00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:51,098
It's empty!
16
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:52,466
Homer, no!
17
00:00:52,501 --> 00:00:54,001
That's Burns' spot.
18
00:00:54,036 --> 00:00:55,369
How could you miss that sign?
19
00:00:55,404 --> 00:00:57,538
Oof. The last guy that
parked there is now a...
20
00:00:57,573 --> 00:00:58,672
speed bump.
21
00:00:59,909 --> 00:01:01,375
Slow down!
22
00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,177
Guys, be cool.
23
00:01:03,212 --> 00:01:05,112
Burns'll never know.
24
00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:08,315
He's on vacation this week with
his weirdo hunting buddies.
25
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,655
Fellow members of the Order of
the Knights of Saint Caucasian,
26
00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:17,024
we've got a lot of things
to kill today, so...
27
00:01:17,059 --> 00:01:19,326
release the sedated quail.
28
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,235
How am I supposed to
hunt it if it can move?
29
00:01:31,707 --> 00:01:34,742
Try it now, Davy Crockett!
30
00:01:35,811 --> 00:01:39,046
Damn you, surface tension...
31
00:01:39,081 --> 00:01:41,148
Wait a minute.
32
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:44,385
If I can park in Mr. Burns' space,
33
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,086
I can live his whole life!
34
00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:48,555
Quickly now, before I think it through!
35
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:17,017
Come on
along, and sing our Tiki song.
36
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,453
And everyone
will take their turns.
37
00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:21,789
To
celebrate a man who's great.
38
00:02:21,824 --> 00:02:26,060
The wiki-wakka liki- lakka magic Mr.
Burns!
39
00:02:26,095 --> 00:02:28,228
♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪
40
00:02:28,264 --> 00:02:29,430
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
41
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,298
♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪
42
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:32,466
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
43
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,268
♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪
44
00:02:34,303 --> 00:02:35,536
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
45
00:02:35,571 --> 00:02:37,071
♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪
46
00:02:37,106 --> 00:02:38,338
♪ Mr. Burns... ♪
47
00:02:38,374 --> 00:02:41,341
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
48
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:44,111
♪ Who do you think you are? ♪
49
00:02:44,146 --> 00:02:46,346
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
50
00:02:46,382 --> 00:02:48,248
♪ You're never gonna get my love... ♪
51
00:02:48,284 --> 00:02:50,484
Simpson lines
up his hitty stick
52
00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:54,121
and gets ready to clobber
the dimpled round-o.
53
00:02:54,156 --> 00:02:56,423
He's calling the signals.
54
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:58,425
Omaha! 35!
55
00:02:58,461 --> 00:03:00,594
Hut! Hut! Simpson!
56
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,165
Incoming!
57
00:03:07,236 --> 00:03:09,470
There's a
lightbulb out on level P-2!
58
00:03:09,505 --> 00:03:11,205
Oh, good lord.
59
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,640
The trapdoor is under renovation.
It's not safe!
60
00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:21,448
Mm-hmm.
61
00:03:21,484 --> 00:03:22,483
Mosaic!
62
00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:26,787
Congratulations.
63
00:03:26,822 --> 00:03:28,222
You're halfway down.
64
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:32,526
What the...?
65
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,365
Ow!
66
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,502
I'm drowning in cement!
67
00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:44,171
- Uh, it's actually concrete.
- Woo hoo!
68
00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:46,173
Of which cement is an ingredient.
69
00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:49,009
No!
70
00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:54,815
Hmm?
71
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:57,618
Perfect.
72
00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:59,353
Marge,
73
00:03:59,388 --> 00:04:01,155
you've thought of everything.
74
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,390
Except for one nagging detail.
75
00:04:03,425 --> 00:04:06,360
Did I ever tell you about the
time I was in a big cast?
76
00:04:06,395 --> 00:04:09,730
It was the Shelbyville Players
production of Pippin.
77
00:04:09,765 --> 00:04:11,698
- Don't worry, Homie.
- I went from player
78
00:04:11,734 --> 00:04:14,301
to ticket taker in one performance!
79
00:04:14,336 --> 00:04:16,170
There's two ways of...
80
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,017
You are in my seat.
81
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,552
Fight! Fight! Fight!
82
00:04:31,587 --> 00:04:34,087
Asthma, glasses, asthma!
83
00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:40,694
Oh. There's too much violence
84
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,596
in rearview mirrors these days.
85
00:04:46,635 --> 00:04:47,935
Hey, boy,
86
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,436
want to sign your old man's cast?
87
00:04:49,471 --> 00:04:52,339
No problemo.
88
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,675
What does it say?
89
00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:55,943
Don't worry about it.
90
00:04:55,978 --> 00:04:57,244
What did you write?
91
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:58,745
Sorry. That's between me
92
00:04:58,781 --> 00:04:59,947
and everyone who sees it.
93
00:04:59,982 --> 00:05:01,715
- I need to know!
- Hmm.
94
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:04,618
Begins with F and ends in C-K.
95
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:05,752
Why you little!
96
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:12,626
Tell me!
97
00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:13,894
Never!
98
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,799
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
99
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:19,900
Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
100
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:20,901
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
101
00:05:20,936 --> 00:05:22,302
Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh!
102
00:05:22,338 --> 00:05:24,304
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
103
00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:25,405
D'oh...
104
00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:26,640
Woo hoo!
105
00:05:29,211 --> 00:05:30,577
Thanks, partner.
106
00:05:30,613 --> 00:05:33,447
We've balled up all the 13 gauge alpaca.
107
00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:35,816
Now maybe there's
something fun we can do?
108
00:05:35,851 --> 00:05:37,918
Sure is. A puzzle.
109
00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:39,419
"Foggy Day in Berlin."
110
00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:41,588
5,000 pieces.
111
00:05:41,624 --> 00:05:42,823
Hmm...
112
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,827
Homer,
complete the puzzle!
113
00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:48,061
I'm a married man!
114
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,463
Fine. If you need me,
115
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,431
I'll be in your schpankenbank.
116
00:05:55,371 --> 00:05:58,472
Marge, I don't think we
should do this puzzle.
117
00:05:58,507 --> 00:06:01,241
I know. You can't pick up the pieces.
118
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:04,645
That's why I've devised a grid system.
119
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,581
Huh? I'll hold up a piece,
and you call out the number
120
00:06:07,616 --> 00:06:10,417
and letter of the
corresponding grid square.
121
00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:11,752
Uh... I don't know.
122
00:06:11,787 --> 00:06:12,853
Q 15?
123
00:06:12,888 --> 00:06:15,622
Sweetie, it's a side piece.
124
00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:17,324
Q 15's in the middle.
125
00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:19,026
Right. Q 15 is in the middle.
126
00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:21,194
Nothing more fun than rules.
127
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,864
I'll make some tea to help you think.
128
00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:26,633
Oh, I hate being immobile and numb.
129
00:06:26,669 --> 00:06:28,702
If only I was free to move.
130
00:06:32,574 --> 00:06:33,874
If only.
131
00:06:35,911 --> 00:06:38,979
It's never pleasant to see
this kind of activity, Lisa.
132
00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:41,581
Particularly on a cell phone
that is so much nicer
133
00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,150
than the one I own.
134
00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:50,057
All the fighting seems to start
with who sits where on the bus.
135
00:06:50,092 --> 00:06:52,993
Um, Lisa. You seem to have a
handle on the bus problem.
136
00:06:53,028 --> 00:06:56,029
Why don't you tackle it? But
don't think I won't help.
137
00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:57,531
I'm providing you with a sash.
138
00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:58,865
Skinner!
139
00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:01,168
You are asking a six-year-old girl
140
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:03,236
to fix this school's problems.
141
00:07:03,272 --> 00:07:04,571
I'm eight.
142
00:07:04,606 --> 00:07:05,939
Oh, carry on.
143
00:07:07,276 --> 00:07:09,009
What do you mean, there's a legal issue
144
00:07:09,044 --> 00:07:10,310
with my trapdoor?
145
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,079
And, uh, as you explain,
146
00:07:12,114 --> 00:07:14,247
please take two steps back.
147
00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:16,383
The old trapdoor was perfectly legal.
148
00:07:16,418 --> 00:07:18,985
It was grandfathered in
under the Reagan-era code.
149
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,821
But once you start renovating it,
150
00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:23,724
it has to brought up
to modern standards.
151
00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:26,593
Mm. And it has to be
handicap accessible.
152
00:07:26,628 --> 00:07:28,662
A wheelchair would never fall
through the current opening.
153
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:30,230
Oh! But
that's not a problem!
154
00:07:30,265 --> 00:07:31,865
I refuse to hire the handicapped.
155
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,266
That's another issue.
156
00:07:33,302 --> 00:07:36,103
But for now, we have left ourselves open
157
00:07:36,138 --> 00:07:38,505
to a lawsuit by Homer Simpson.
158
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,241
Fine. Smithers, go see
this Simpson character
159
00:07:41,276 --> 00:07:43,543
and trick him into signing
a waiver of liability.
160
00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:45,746
I'll discuss things with the foreman.
161
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:50,317
Enrique,
mas grande la puerta!
162
00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:54,554
Look, Homie! We got
three pieces together.
163
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:56,089
That's a good day's work!
164
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,924
Why don't we do one of Maggie's puzzles?
165
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,495
Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole, boom.
Next case.
166
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,398
Hmm, I thought the one good thing
about you hurting yourself
167
00:08:04,433 --> 00:08:06,700
was that we could spend
more time together.
168
00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:07,901
You did?
169
00:08:07,936 --> 00:08:08,902
Didn't you?
170
00:08:08,937 --> 00:08:11,405
Oh yeah, sure, of course.
171
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,408
Only a fool would admit otherwise.
172
00:08:14,443 --> 00:08:15,475
Mm....
173
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,950
Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in.
174
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:25,952
Oh! Well,
there's our tangle-foot!
175
00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:27,320
Already on the mend.
176
00:08:27,356 --> 00:08:28,622
Yeah, right.
177
00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:29,923
They say it'll be three months
178
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:31,925
before I can scratch my ass.
179
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,760
Six before I can really go at it.
180
00:08:33,796 --> 00:08:35,829
Listen, I-I don't want
to take up your time.
181
00:08:35,864 --> 00:08:38,064
I just need Homer's signature
on a couple of things.
182
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,967
First, a get well card to himself.
183
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:42,769
And what else does he need to sign?
184
00:08:42,805 --> 00:08:44,070
Oh, a...
185
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,305
...waiver of liability.
186
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:48,175
I know, I know.
187
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,843
There are solid reasons to sue.
188
00:08:49,878 --> 00:08:51,845
But do you really want to fill your life
189
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,282
with parasitic attorneys
with get-rich-quick schemes?
190
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,184
Schemes? Rich? Quick?
191
00:08:57,219 --> 00:08:59,252
Parasitic? Woo hoo!
192
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,988
How could I have forgotten to sue Mr.
Burns?
193
00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:03,657
That's how you get rich in America.
194
00:09:03,692 --> 00:09:06,026
Sue S. A! Sue S. A!
195
00:09:06,061 --> 00:09:07,861
Oh, Lord.
196
00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:10,464
Finally, a chance to use this.
197
00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:14,634
It was designed ironically,
but I would die for it.
198
00:09:16,796 --> 00:09:18,654
Are you home during the day
because you were injured
199
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:22,529
at work, school, museum, church,
Iraq, elevator plummet,
200
00:09:22,554 --> 00:09:25,188
uneven sidewalk, hit by foul
ball, hit by fair ball,
201
00:09:25,224 --> 00:09:27,290
or Iditarod viewing party?
202
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,093
The first one! The first one you said!
203
00:09:29,128 --> 00:09:30,728
Call me, Maxwell Flinch,
204
00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:34,498
at 555-555-5555.
205
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,267
Five, five, five...
206
00:09:36,302 --> 00:09:38,402
Wait, what was the number
after the first three fives,
207
00:09:38,437 --> 00:09:40,170
but before the last six fives?
208
00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:41,772
Uh, Simpson, before
you do anything rash,
209
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:44,642
Mr. Burns wanted you to
enjoy this get-well cake.
210
00:09:44,677 --> 00:09:46,744
- What's that writing on top?
- Oh!
211
00:09:46,779 --> 00:09:49,313
It's just, uh, strawberry boilerplate
212
00:09:49,348 --> 00:09:50,781
absolving us of liability.
213
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:52,750
Now just bite here, here, here,
214
00:09:52,785 --> 00:09:54,785
nibble here, lick here...
215
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:57,254
Uh, your wife needs to
eat this cupcake...
216
00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:59,990
Sir, you cannot bribe me with cake.
217
00:10:00,026 --> 00:10:03,360
Because I just ate several pies.
218
00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,429
Hello, Mr. Smithers.
219
00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:06,830
I see you haven't given up.
220
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:11,035
Just enjoy the cake. As
long as you don't eat it
221
00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:13,037
in front of a notary
public, you're fine.
222
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,471
I'm a notary public.
223
00:10:14,507 --> 00:10:17,207
You gave your ink pad to Maggie.
224
00:10:19,512 --> 00:10:22,313
I'll, um, I'll walk out with you.
225
00:10:22,348 --> 00:10:24,114
Don't go yet. You guys can help me
226
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,383
brainstorm a pattern for my new quilt.
227
00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:28,719
Marge, I mean this in the nicest way:
228
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:32,022
your idea of fun makes me
want to blow my brains out.
229
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,461
Oh, Razzmatazz is perfect, Marge.
230
00:10:37,496 --> 00:10:39,129
It's-it's uh-- it's red,
231
00:10:39,165 --> 00:10:41,165
but not, uh, too red.
232
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,299
You're right!
233
00:10:42,335 --> 00:10:43,734
Why don't you stick around
234
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,836
and we'll discuss stitching
patterns over tea?
235
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:47,204
I'd like that.
236
00:10:47,239 --> 00:10:49,006
And I'll take the cake back to the home
237
00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:50,641
and share it with the seniors.
238
00:10:50,676 --> 00:10:51,642
Typical.
239
00:10:51,677 --> 00:10:52,876
I'll keep Dad company.
240
00:10:52,912 --> 00:10:54,211
Thank you, Bart.
241
00:10:54,246 --> 00:10:56,847
Oh, I dropped it.
242
00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:59,550
Hey, wha-what did you put down my back?
243
00:10:59,585 --> 00:11:00,718
Could be a tarantula,
244
00:11:00,753 --> 00:11:01,919
could just be some yarn.
245
00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:03,087
I'll be at Milhouse's.
246
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:13,163
What the hell?
247
00:11:13,199 --> 00:11:15,833
Oh, it's such a pleasure
to pour tea for someone
248
00:11:15,868 --> 00:11:17,835
and not have to help him chew it.
249
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,503
We've made our choices.
250
00:11:19,538 --> 00:11:21,572
And the world doesn't understand them,
251
00:11:21,607 --> 00:11:23,073
but we do.
252
00:11:24,744 --> 00:11:26,577
Oh! Ew...
253
00:11:26,612 --> 00:11:28,545
Oh... Aw...
254
00:11:29,882 --> 00:11:31,682
You know Marge, somehow I feel that
255
00:11:31,717 --> 00:11:33,250
more than anyone, you understand
256
00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:36,053
those horrible words,
"What do you see in him?"
257
00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:37,388
I never said this,
258
00:11:37,423 --> 00:11:40,391
but did you ever think
we cling to these guys
259
00:11:40,426 --> 00:11:43,427
because we're afraid to
admit we were wrong?
260
00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:45,262
Do you really think that?
261
00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,931
Well, I've tried to use
it constructively.
262
00:11:49,969 --> 00:11:51,568
I try to have "the serenity
263
00:11:51,604 --> 00:11:53,370
"to accept the things I cannot change
264
00:11:53,406 --> 00:11:55,539
and the courage to change
the things I can."
265
00:11:55,574 --> 00:11:56,774
That's what they said to me
266
00:11:56,809 --> 00:11:59,076
at that Alcoholics Unanimous meeting!
267
00:12:00,446 --> 00:12:01,745
Attention, bus riders!
268
00:12:01,781 --> 00:12:04,281
My new seating plan avoids conflict
269
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:07,151
through the use of complex
social algorithms.
270
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,620
It teams up compatible seatmates
271
00:12:09,655 --> 00:12:11,889
and places Milhouse with no one.
272
00:12:11,924 --> 00:12:14,792
Yet somehow, I'm still a little scared.
273
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,960
Otto, why are you sitting in back?
274
00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:18,962
Waiting for my assignment, chief.
275
00:12:18,998 --> 00:12:20,964
The driver's seat. You're the driver.
276
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,232
Still me?
277
00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:24,802
New management, same mistakes.
278
00:12:27,173 --> 00:12:30,441
It's so quiet. I've never been
able to hear my music before.
279
00:12:32,678 --> 00:12:34,478
Ooh, it sucks.
280
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,481
This is just the beginning.
281
00:12:37,516 --> 00:12:38,982
Soon I'll have control over
282
00:12:39,018 --> 00:12:40,951
every aspect of their lives.
283
00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:45,322
And then I'll make them achieve
their un-dreamt dreams.
284
00:12:45,357 --> 00:12:47,624
Sherri next to Terri.
285
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,126
Jimbo next to Dolph.
286
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:50,694
No one next to Milhouse.
287
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,529
Ralph next to his invisible friend.
288
00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:54,031
Kearney next to Nelson.
289
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,799
Martin next to Wendell.
290
00:12:55,835 --> 00:12:57,734
Cosine next to Database.
291
00:13:01,173 --> 00:13:03,407
My first PG-13 fantasy.
292
00:13:03,442 --> 00:13:05,442
Since we haven't been
able to get a settlement,
293
00:13:05,478 --> 00:13:07,878
we'll have to start preparing
you for your deposition.
294
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,681
Caroline here will stand in
for the opposing attorney.
295
00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:12,449
Good afternoon, Mr. Burns.
296
00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:14,818
Release the hounds.
297
00:13:14,854 --> 00:13:18,121
Uh, sir, you should try to
project a friendlier demeanor.
298
00:13:18,157 --> 00:13:20,123
Release the hounds.
299
00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:21,458
Please.
300
00:13:21,494 --> 00:13:23,460
Seriously, sir, it would really be wise
301
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:25,028
not to mention the hounds.
302
00:13:25,064 --> 00:13:26,864
Oh, that's like telling
Three-Finger Brown
303
00:13:26,899 --> 00:13:28,966
he can't play for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops.
304
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,401
Waylon,
305
00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:32,469
now I can see why
306
00:13:32,505 --> 00:13:35,506
so many women in movies
have gay friends.
307
00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:38,509
Like Princess Leia and C-3PO.
308
00:13:38,544 --> 00:13:40,844
Listen, I made this for you.
309
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,379
Oh, my God.
310
00:13:42,414 --> 00:13:45,048
No one ever gives me a gift. Thank you.
311
00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:47,818
No one ever tells me thank you.
312
00:13:47,853 --> 00:13:50,153
I think you see my true self.
313
00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:53,557
The one I never pay attention to at all.
314
00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,993
Oh, my God. I want to kiss him.
315
00:13:56,028 --> 00:13:57,861
Oh, my God.
She wants to kiss me.
316
00:13:57,897 --> 00:13:59,062
- I'm a married woman.
- She would
317
00:13:59,098 --> 00:14:00,931
look good with a mustache.
318
00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:11,074
Uh, I've got to go.
319
00:14:13,112 --> 00:14:16,079
Thank God I've got a
husband with benefits.
320
00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:18,415
Come here, you.
321
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:19,983
Okay, but...
322
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:33,931
Mmm... Smithers.
323
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:36,066
Wait a sec.
324
00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:39,570
Marge is getting her emotional
needs fulfilled by another man,
325
00:14:39,605 --> 00:14:42,472
and now she needs me
for nothing but sex.
326
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:45,367
I'm the luckiest husband in the world!
327
00:14:48,024 --> 00:14:51,272
You haven't gotten that
stupid signature yet?
328
00:14:51,297 --> 00:14:51,930
No.
329
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:53,455
And I'm not sure I want to.
330
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:55,223
You defy me?
331
00:14:55,259 --> 00:14:57,325
Smithers, pour me a glass of water.
332
00:15:01,064 --> 00:15:02,397
Now squeeze my chest.
333
00:15:04,134 --> 00:15:06,468
Now, either get that signature
or you're in charge
334
00:15:06,503 --> 00:15:08,937
of restarting our plant at Chernobyl.
335
00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,205
That was us?
336
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,773
That doesn't leave this room.
337
00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:15,477
Well brother, prepare
to enjoy another day
338
00:15:15,512 --> 00:15:18,780
of calm, peaceful behavior
on the school bus.
339
00:15:18,816 --> 00:15:20,949
I got to warn you, a lot of kids
340
00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:22,951
are pretty unhappy with
the required seating.
341
00:15:24,421 --> 00:15:26,822
Well, they'll be happy
when I also organize
342
00:15:26,857 --> 00:15:29,324
cafeteria seating, who's
picked for teams,
343
00:15:29,359 --> 00:15:32,327
and I've divided the playground
into swingers and pushers.
344
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:33,795
That's insane.
345
00:15:33,831 --> 00:15:36,164
You just bought yourself
a year of pushing.
346
00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:50,445
Order. Order. Maintain order.
347
00:15:50,481 --> 00:15:52,180
Tunnel.
348
00:16:08,665 --> 00:16:09,698
Whee!
349
00:16:15,572 --> 00:16:17,506
This message couldn't be clearer.
350
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,207
The children need more
sauce on their spaghetti.
351
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:20,475
Also, their spelling is atrocious.
352
00:16:24,081 --> 00:16:26,781
Well, at least I have me photos.
353
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,820
I thought I had made things better.
354
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:35,323
Lisa, the bus is supposed to be crazy.
355
00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:37,626
It's the brief respite
between the twin nightmares
356
00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:39,027
of home and school.
357
00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:41,062
The one thing a know-it-all doesn't know
358
00:16:41,098 --> 00:16:43,865
is that everyone hates a know-it-all.
359
00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:45,700
Did we, uh, lose anyone?
360
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,369
Just the police chief's son.
361
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,475
I bit a rat.
362
00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,913
Marge, this is the last
time I'm coming by.
363
00:16:57,948 --> 00:16:59,514
Oh. Well, that's fine.
364
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,384
I mean, I do have my knitting to get to.
365
00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:05,353
I'm going to a living hell
366
00:17:05,389 --> 00:17:06,755
followed by a certain death.
367
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:08,490
Here's a picture to remember me by.
368
00:17:08,525 --> 00:17:11,359
Taken by my grandma from her deathbed.
369
00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,495
The last thing she saw.
370
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:17,699
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
371
00:17:17,734 --> 00:17:19,034
Mmm.
372
00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:20,669
What's wrong, honey?
373
00:17:20,704 --> 00:17:24,072
Oh, I don't feel like I
have anyone to talk to.
374
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,207
I appreciate that, and I'd like to talk.
375
00:17:26,243 --> 00:17:29,611
I'm just so drained after all
the time I spend with the kids.
376
00:17:29,646 --> 00:17:31,112
What time?
377
00:17:31,148 --> 00:17:33,248
I took you to that colonial village.
378
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,250
That was a pub at the airport.
379
00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:38,019
I had an ale. You sat on a barrel.
That makes it colonial.
380
00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:40,188
Homer, I'm sorry, you
have to understand.
381
00:17:40,223 --> 00:17:44,125
Without Waylon to talk to,
I feel completely alone.
382
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,894
I totally get it.
383
00:17:45,929 --> 00:17:47,529
who's Waylon?
384
00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:48,897
Smithers.
385
00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:50,699
Totally get it.
386
00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:53,134
Oh, my wife really needs
something and to get it
387
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:55,370
I may have to forego my settlement.
388
00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:57,973
Homer, you fell down a
trapdoor into a cement mixer.
389
00:17:58,008 --> 00:17:59,874
Don't you think I deserve
something for that?
390
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:02,210
I'm just trying to do what's right.
391
00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:04,446
Then why did you file a lawsuit?
392
00:18:05,816 --> 00:18:06,781
I really think you should
393
00:18:06,817 --> 00:18:08,149
change the venue, sir.
394
00:18:08,185 --> 00:18:10,285
You can't win a case in this town.
395
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,121
Oh, are they still mad about
me eating the town panda?
396
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:14,522
Get over it.
397
00:18:16,193 --> 00:18:17,792
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
398
00:18:17,828 --> 00:18:21,262
I'm willing to sign anything
you want on one condition.
399
00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:23,064
Fine. What's your condition?
400
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,900
You have to keep Mr. Smithers here.
401
00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:28,236
I see. And are you fool enough
402
00:18:28,271 --> 00:18:30,305
to believe a man's
handshake means anything?
403
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:31,640
I am.
404
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,008
Well, put 'er there.
405
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:34,609
Homer, no!
406
00:18:34,645 --> 00:18:37,312
Why doesn't anyone ever
think of the lawyer?
407
00:18:37,347 --> 00:18:40,115
Aw, if I do a slip 'n' fall
on the courthouse steps,
408
00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:41,616
would that help?
409
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:43,318
It might.
410
00:18:46,523 --> 00:18:48,790
See you Thursday.
411
00:18:48,825 --> 00:18:50,992
And I'll see you Thursday night.
412
00:18:51,028 --> 00:18:52,761
Oh.
413
00:18:52,796 --> 00:18:55,964
And I'll see you early Friday morning.
414
00:18:55,999 --> 00:18:57,565
Mm-hmm.
415
00:18:57,601 --> 00:18:58,967
Mm-hmm.
416
00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:01,369
Oh, these slippery stairs.
417
00:19:02,973 --> 00:19:04,439
Homie!
418
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:05,707
Marge, no!
419
00:19:11,982 --> 00:19:13,281
Marge,
420
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:16,051
I know Smithers was
good at talking to you.
421
00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,819
And I want to talk to you too.
422
00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:19,287
Oh.
423
00:19:19,322 --> 00:19:21,923
Just don't expect me
to be great at first.
424
00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:27,862
Oh, honey, no one's
great their first time.
425
00:19:27,898 --> 00:19:29,698
It's like baking.
426
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,200
Uh, okay, well, uh...
427
00:19:32,235 --> 00:19:33,468
I like you.
428
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,837
And I adore you.
429
00:19:35,872 --> 00:19:38,473
You sacrificed yourself
for my happiness.
430
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:40,508
There is nothing that makes a woman
431
00:19:40,544 --> 00:19:42,877
feel more cherished and secure.
432
00:19:42,913 --> 00:19:44,713
Thank you, my darling.
433
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,649
Marge, this is going great.
434
00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:50,552
Now don't you worry,
I made you both soup.
435
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:53,488
Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot.
436
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,056
Two hours in the microwave.
437
00:19:56,549 --> 00:20:00,071
_
438
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:06,248
Who knows what the "D.C." stands
for in Washington, D.C.? Anyone?
439
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,339
Anyone?
440
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:08,481
Mustn't be a know-it-all.
441
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:10,249
Never again. Not worth it.
442
00:20:10,285 --> 00:20:12,418
D.C. Anyone?
443
00:20:12,454 --> 00:20:15,154
Daddy's kitchen?
444
00:20:15,190 --> 00:20:16,656
Not quite. Anyone else?
445
00:20:16,691 --> 00:20:18,324
No? Okay.
446
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:22,028
Children, "D.C." stands for
"District of the Capitol."
447
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:23,663
No it doesn't!
448
00:20:23,698 --> 00:20:25,598
The answer is "District of Columbia."
449
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,867
And Miss Hoover, I don't
want to be a smarty pants,
450
00:20:27,902 --> 00:20:30,269
but the previous answer was Texas.
451
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:32,305
Before that, 1848.
452
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:33,973
Before that, Seward's Folly.
453
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:35,942
And your dentist appointment
is not tomorrow,
454
00:20:35,977 --> 00:20:38,010
it's the day after. Thank you.
455
00:20:38,046 --> 00:20:40,012
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