1 00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:07,215 Good grief, this candy’s terrible. 2 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:10,385 Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, 3 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,470 a library card... 4 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,180 You got all the good stuff! 5 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,434 And yet I’m still not satisfied. 6 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,435 (gulping) 7 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,645 Aah, you thieving hussy! 8 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,813 (choking) 9 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:24,899 Ow! 10 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,820 Aah! Ow! 11 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:29,863 (grunts) 12 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,740 You kids have got to learn 13 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,408 that actions have consequences! 14 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,452 (angry grunt) 15 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,328 Eat fire, punks! 16 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,956 -Whoa! -What the-- 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,250 I’m still cold. 18 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,586 Will everyone please stop fighting and burning! 19 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:45,837 Never! 20 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,340 (enraged roar) 21 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,967 -Beat the lumps. -Hey! 22 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,677 -Beat the lumps. Beat the lumps. -BART: Ay, caramba! 23 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,889 Homie, I disagree with your approach to the children. 24 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,016 -(grunting) -(gunshot) 25 00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,642 -(yells) -(racking slide) 26 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,186 -(gunshot) -HOMER: Yeow! 27 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,356 Pathetic humans! 28 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,069 They’re showing a Halloween episode in November! 29 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,571 Who’s still thinking about Halloween? 30 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,240 We’ve already got our Christmas decorations up! 31 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,451 KANG AND KODOS: Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 32 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,369 Merry Christmas! 33 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,121 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 34 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,083 ♪♪ 35 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:36,096 (knocking) 36 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,057 (deep, sepulchral voice): I am Death! 37 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,309 Death? We don’t want any. 38 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,563 I have come for Bart Simpson. 39 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,398 Bart, run like the "wined"! 40 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,067 Mom, it’s "wind." 41 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,027 Well, I’ve only read it in books. 42 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,989 (Benny Hill Show theme song plays) 43 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:58,910 (scythe clangs) 44 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:10,505 Ooh! 45 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,882 Why you little... 46 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,219 (clang) 47 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:20,223 (ghoulish music plays) 48 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,225 Please, don’t take me! Take Milhouse. 49 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,060 We all know there’s no happy ending there. 50 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,645 Your time is up. 51 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,523 This is for Snowball One and JFK! 52 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,357 (grunts) 53 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,817 Ow! 54 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,029 Cool. 55 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,490 Dad, do you realize what you’ve done? 56 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,993 You’ve created a world without Death. 57 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,245 Does this mean they’ll never cancel the Jim Belushi Show? 58 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,246 I guess so. 59 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,456 Nooooo! 60 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,542 LISA: A world without death. 61 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,712 (gunshots) 62 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,131 (yelling) 63 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:56,134 Frankie the Squealer, why won’t you die? 64 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,386 Ohh! If I knew, I’d tell ya, I swear! 65 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,054 (yelling) 66 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,765 I’d better call my wife... tell her I’ll be late. 67 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,560 (gunshots) 68 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,437 (sighs) 69 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,731 If I knew this would take so long, I’d have put on the TV. 70 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,024 Pizza! 71 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,817 Money’s on the counter. No tip. 72 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,485 Aah, you miserable bastard! 73 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:18,072 That’s why I’m up here. 74 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,532 Death... 75 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,243 Death, we miss you so much. 76 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,496 You were a busboy in the restaurant of life, 77 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,125 clearing away the oldies and the sickies and the chokies. 78 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,795 And you made NASCAR racing exciting. 79 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,172 Homer, it’s trash day. 80 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,174 Will you just take him out to the curb? 81 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,510 I’ll curb him... without enthusiasm. 82 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:47,352 Ooh, this robe’s pretty soft. 83 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,770 Check it out! 84 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:52,732 I finally found a dead guy’s clothes that fit me! 85 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,983 (all scream) 86 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,151 What? It’s not... 87 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,736 (screams): My hand! 88 00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,406 What’s happening? 89 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,576 Dad, you’ve become the new Grim Reaper! 90 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,203 No way. Forget it. 91 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,121 I might occasionally kill out of anger 92 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:11,209 or to illustrate a point, but I am not a Grim Reaper! 93 00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,543 -(robe tightens in) -Ow! O-o-oh! 94 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,504 I’ll reap! I’ll reap already! 95 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,130 HOMER: Jasper... 96 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,383 your time has come! 97 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,593 Where’s the regular guy? Where’s Doug? 98 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,387 Never mind. I’m Death now. 99 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,513 (disappointed sigh) 100 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,431 I liked Doug. 101 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,557 Ahh! 102 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,728 "My Dad’s Job." 103 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,731 My dad’s job takes him to all parts of the community. 104 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,360 He performs a valuable service but is often misunderstood, 105 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,696 like a vulture or the flesh-eating maggot. 106 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,448 Would anyone like to see Mr. Simpson harvest a soul? 107 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,366 Yeah! I would! 108 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,951 Me! Me! 109 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,245 You said something about a hot meal? 110 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,206 (clears throat) 111 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,040 (body slumps to floor) 112 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,625 (children cheering) 113 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,002 ("Charge" plays) 114 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,629 Oh, man, these seats suck. 115 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,339 Leave everything to me. 116 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,424 Pardon me, coming through, 117 00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,550 rest in peace, you’re dead, 118 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,926 take a dirt nap, feed the worms... 119 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,682 (rhythmic sputter) 120 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,600 CROWD: Hey! 121 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,685 Oh! 122 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:11,602 Hmm. 123 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,898 Dad, were all those people on the list? 124 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,191 -I don’t know. -(thud) 125 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,239 Okay, who am I giving the finger to today? 126 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,074 (gasps in horror) 127 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,077 Not this! Anything but this! 128 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,372 Uh... 129 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,665 What was that first one again? 130 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,252 (suspenseful music) 131 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:40,757 (groaning): Oh... 132 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,759 (piercing scream) 133 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,843 (chopping sounds) 134 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,597 ♪♪ 135 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,603 Okay, God, I bumped off the love of my life, 136 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,229 according to Your divine whim. 137 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,940 Now release me from this ghastly vocation. 138 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,525 GOD: No! 139 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,485 Come on! 140 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,986 GOD: All right. 141 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:05,990 Whoo-hoo! 142 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,497 GOD: Hey, wait a minute! 143 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,207 This isn’t Marge. 144 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,335 This is her fat sister, Selma. 145 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,711 It’s Patty, chump! 146 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,171 (laughs) 147 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,256 (engine revving) 148 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,094 (screeching) 149 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:36,687 GOD: Doggone it! I am too old and too rich for this. 150 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,190 Thanks for not killing me, Homie. 151 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,234 Here’s an extra pork chop. 152 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,194 (chuckles) 153 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:44,904 I’m gonna not kill you every week. 154 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,614 (all laugh) 155 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,121 (ringing) 156 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,956 Yello? 157 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,749 Sir, I’m honored to inform you 158 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,960 that you’ve won the Nobel Prize. 159 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,337 The Nobel Prize! 160 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,547 Finally. 161 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,007 So, uh, it’s for what, my whole deal? 162 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,176 This is Professor John Frink, isn’t it? 163 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,678 If I say "no," do I still win? 164 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,597 I’ll tell Professor Frink he’s won. 165 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,391 (speaking Swedish) 166 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,270 PROF. FRINK: Great Glayvin in a glass! 167 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,980 The Nobel Prize. 168 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,691 They must have awarded it to me for my invention 169 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,318 of a hammer with a screwdriver on the other end. 170 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,862 It’s mildly convenient. 171 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,196 Just for that? 172 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,490 It was a slow year, yes. 173 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,493 I only wish my dear father were here to see me win. 174 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,537 Is there a problem with your father? 175 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,623 Well, our relationship was never great. 176 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,250 Mother used to say we got along 177 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,378 like positrons and anti-neutrinos. 178 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,630 (laughing): Oh, yes... I’m a geek. 179 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:48,509 I was always a disappointment to him. 180 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,720 You see, he was one of those he-man scientists 181 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,930 who worked on the atom bomb by day 182 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,349 and slept with Marilyn Monroe by night 183 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,102 and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch. 184 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:02,023 The last time I saw him alive, he was going to study sharks. 185 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,483 I don’t want to go 186 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,818 on this oceanographic expedition, Father. 187 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,778 I get seasick taking a shower. 188 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,572 Clean but nauseous. 189 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,741 "Clean but nauseous," 190 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,284 with the rolling and the heaving 191 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:14,952 and the you make me sick. 192 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,748 You’ve disgraced the name of John Nerdlebaum Frink. 193 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,584 -But, Father, I... -(boat horn blows) 194 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,962 (cries) 195 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,756 We never spoke again. 196 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,424 Well, where is he now? 197 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,594 Maybe I can help you two patch up your differences. 198 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,263 Uh, you’ll need to patch up more than that. 199 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,268 (gasps): Did a shark do that? 200 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,103 Yes, he was testing out 201 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,190 a new blood-based suntan lotion. 202 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,526 You know, now that I have my hammer-screwdriver 203 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,069 I could reanimate him 204 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,488 without the needless switching of tools. 205 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,533 That’s always tedious and annoying. 206 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,785 (thunder) 207 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,829 (sizzling) 208 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,420 I’m alive! 209 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,922 With the breathing and the tingling 210 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,883 and the what’s this radiator where my pupik should be? 211 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,636 Oh, Papa, you’re back! 212 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:17,348 Now, we had to replace several vital organs with machinery, 213 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,475 but that doesn’t make you any less of a man. 214 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,603 Except you have no penis... 215 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,230 in the traditional sense. 216 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,774 So, what am I, some kind of a tin can man 217 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,150 from Planet Tomorrow? 218 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,737 Sir, your son has brought you into the 21st century. 219 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,406 It’s a lot like the 20th, 220 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:36,909 except everybody’s afraid and the stock market is much lower. 221 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,245 Polly don’t like that cracker. 222 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,997 I’m getting me a real spleen, 223 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,207 and then I’m gonna vent it on you, boychik. 224 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,627 Oy! Shoving. 225 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,463 It almost sounded like he plans to tear organs 226 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,215 out of living people. 227 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,967 Well, that’s my dad. 228 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,176 You can’t stop him. 229 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,138 (humming) 230 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,848 Hey, 700 Club. 231 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,058 You look like a healthy specimen. 232 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,894 Well, I did finish first in the Walk For The Cure... 233 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,646 of homosexuality. 234 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,523 Say "ah," baby. 235 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,524 Ah... 236 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,984 (choking) 237 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,194 I’m dying! 238 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,571 And there’s Heaven. 239 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,739 But who’s that? 240 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,699 Confucius? 241 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,242 And Milton Berle? 242 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:21,454 Boy, have I been barking up the wrong tree. 243 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,042 Nice posture. 244 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,293 Oh, thank you. 245 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,420 Mother always said a curvy spine 246 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,339 is the devil’s roller coaster. 247 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,590 Hey, you can’t have that. 248 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,468 (screams) 249 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,137 Lost your spine, huh? 250 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,557 You just keep finding new ways to disappoint me. 251 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,227 ("Stayin’ Alive" by the Bee Gees plays) 252 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,280 There you are. 253 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,573 Have you stopped to think about 254 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,949 who you’re hurting with this rampage? 255 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,117 The people I’ve killed? 256 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,328 No. Your son! 257 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:05,289 On the biggest day of his life, when he accepts the Nobel Prize, 258 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,499 you’re not gonna be there. 259 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:07,958 Oh, dear God. 260 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:11,212 I’ve let my organ lust come between me and my son. 261 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:13,381 (cries) 262 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,507 But it’s not too late. 263 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,175 You can still fly to Stockholm. 264 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,386 Well, it’d better be first class. 265 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,347 Comic Book Guy’s ass won’t fit in coach. 266 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,015 You may keep my posterior, 267 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:27,144 just please return the "Jabba the Butt" tattoo. 268 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,898 (blows whistle) 269 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,487 ANNOUNCER: He explored the behavior of individual molecules 270 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,988 in a chemical reaction. 271 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,032 She’s the sexy star of Alias. 272 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,993 Please welcome Nobel Laureate Dr. Dudley Herschbach 273 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,246 and Emmy Nominee Jennifer Garner. 274 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,622 (applause) 275 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,500 ♪ She blinded me with science ♪ 276 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,252 You know, Dr. Herschbach, 277 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,421 our jobs are actually not that different. 278 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:54,672 I disagree. 279 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,841 Winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics: 280 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,467 Professor John Frink. 281 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,136 (applause) 282 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,887 Hi. Thank you. 283 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,431 This is a tremendous honor. 284 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,767 However, I can’t help being somewhat disheartened 285 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:10,020 that my father has become a marauding ghoul. 286 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,314 Not anymore, Son. 287 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,941 (gasps) 288 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:17,903 I’m here to accept the Nobel Prize for stupid. 289 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,864 Can you forgive me? 290 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,782 Oh, good Glayvin, Dad. 291 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,659 You’ve made receiving the Nobel Prize 292 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,369 the happiest day of my life. 293 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,413 Oh, the hug is good. 294 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,124 This is what the Nobel Prize is all about. 295 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,792 The science and the love 296 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,878 and that physics we call quantum. 297 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:34,962 Ain’t that right, people? 298 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,590 (applause) 299 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,508 What a great crowd. 300 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,719 You all have such big hearts 301 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:44,138 and such big brains... 302 00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:47,057 with large, juicy dripping with knowledge heads. 303 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,058 (gasps) 304 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,643 That’s it, 305 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,062 I’m going smorgasbord on these Poindexters. 306 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,940 (audience gasps) 307 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,400 And I thought Halle Berry went 308 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,194 nuts during her acceptance speech. 309 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,362 I wish I was Death again. 310 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,531 That was cool. 311 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,827 Every brain unlocks more secrets of the universe. 312 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,330 Muffins are surprisingly high in calories. 313 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:12,166 The pyramids were actually built by Sears. 314 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,667 He’s right. 315 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,169 It all checks out. 316 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:18,214 (screaming) 317 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,632 (groans) 318 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:25,262 This is more violent than the Hip Hop Awards. 319 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,931 You’ve got to stop your father. 320 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,182 Yes, but how? 321 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,850 He’s 63 years old... 322 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,977 pressure points here and here... 323 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,897 room temperature is 22 degrees Celsius... 324 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,857 Yes, this should just about do it. 325 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,567 Balzac! 326 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,902 (faint groan) 327 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,863 Oh, Father, you’re dying again. 328 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,658 But I can bring you back to life, sir. 329 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,160 Son, it doesn’t take five brains in your head 330 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,454 to know that’s a bad idea. 331 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:54,083 You saw I’d become a monster and you stopped me like a man. 332 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,876 I’m proud of you. 333 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,337 And now it’s time for me to go to hell. 334 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:02,925 Ow, ooh, ooh, ow, oy, oy, ooh, ow, dead. 335 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,053 (crying) 336 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,347 This is the most exciting Nobel Prize ceremony ever. 337 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,683 I disagree. 338 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:15,563 It must be tough to win the Nobel Prize 339 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,857 and lose your father on the same day. 340 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,651 Oh, I didn’t really lose my father. 341 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,654 Thanks to my latest invention, the soul catcher. 342 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,239 Let’s bring it out and look at it. 343 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,449 FRINK SENIOR’S VOICE: I may be a soul, but I’m hungry. 344 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,410 Can you throw in a little matzo? 345 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,161 Maybe a nice piece of fish. 346 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,538 Why of course, Father. 347 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,624 Allow me to satisfy your Hebraic desires. 348 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,293 That’s a good shmendeleh. 349 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,753 Oh, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. 350 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,755 What does it mean? Is it dirty? 351 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:45,593 (ticking) 352 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:52,266 Ooh, baby! Did I find something to throw out today. 353 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,851 If you like space in the attic, 354 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,895 are you gonna be happy. 355 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,898 Cool! Comics from the ’70s! 356 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,150 BART: Superman vs. Patty Hearst, 357 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,277 Evel Knievel Jumps The Jackson 5, 358 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,278 Batman and Rhoda... 359 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,030 (gasps) 360 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,448 Check out these ads! 361 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,782 Let see, X-Ray Gum... 362 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:09,783 (gasps) 363 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,951 Cool. 364 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,620 Milhouse, do you have your change purse? 365 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,829 MILHOUSE: Always! 366 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,164 (doorbell rings) 367 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:19,376 Here you go, son. 368 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,837 "To stop time, click watch." 369 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,464 (ticking) 370 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:26,884 (ticking stops 371 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,636 Wow, she looks like a background character 372 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:32,139 in a Hanna Barbera cartoon. 373 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:36,393 "To restart time, click watch again." 374 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,937 What the...?! 375 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,356 Lisa, that’s a filthy habit. 376 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,149 (chuckles maniacally) 377 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,567 If we’re both touching the watch, 378 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,818 neither of us will be affected. 379 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,957 Do you realize what this means? 380 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,043 Yeah... but you say it first. 381 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,795 We can do anything we want! 382 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,506 Let’s get really far ahead on our homework! 383 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:06,882 Wait till the other kids see 384 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,592 we’re already on the red unit 385 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,636 of Adventures In Reading. 386 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:11,971 (moans) 387 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,722 SKINNER: Due to budget cuts, 388 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,308 music class will now have a two-drink minimum. 389 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,103 Cranapple juice only counts as one. And... 390 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:25,901 (gasps) 391 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,112 My slacks! They’ve descended! 392 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:30,656 (laughing) 393 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,659 (quiet giggle) 394 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,747 What the...? Ooh. 395 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:44,378 D-oh! 396 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:45,587 I can’t go on. 397 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,172 (whimpering, moaning) 398 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:54,346 (crying) 399 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,723 Haw... 400 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,057 Haw?! 401 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,685 (laughing) 402 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:03,897 (watch ticking) 403 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,402 People, Springfield is in crisis. 404 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,446 Fingers have been shoved up noses, 405 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,906 pants have been pulled down, and... 406 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,160 Mayors... have... been... repeatedly... 407 00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,327 humiliated. Dammit! 408 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,038 (angry grumbling) 409 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,581 I thought our mysterious pranksters 410 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,207 might be here tonight, 411 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,169 so I covered the meeting hall with ultraviolet powder. 412 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,296 Behold the perpetrators! 413 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:31,425 (electrical buzzing) 414 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,093 (all gasp) 415 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,720 It was those guys! 416 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,097 Come! Let us kill them 417 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,724 before learning of the magical secret 418 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,059 which they possess. 419 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,811 (angry yelling) 420 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,953 Oh, that was close. 421 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,872 Bart, look at the watch! 422 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,666 Milhouse, we broke the watch! 423 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,627 Do you realize what this means? 424 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,755 Yeah... but you say it first. 425 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,298 (clicking) 426 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:12,591 Oh, man. 427 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,551 Things are stuck like this forever. 428 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,929 Well, I couldn’t be happier. 429 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,264 I’m the second coolest kid on earth! 430 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:23,018 (silly humming) 431 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,522 Actually, I guess we can do anything we want 432 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,024 and no one will stop us. 433 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,652 I’m gonna play naked basketball! 434 00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:32,945 No, you’re not. 435 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,703 The family looks good. 436 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,621 Thanks. I just washed them. 437 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:47,292 Oh, that keeps happening. 438 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,880 Can I punch Oscar de la Hoya for a while? 439 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:52,881 Just keep it above the belt. 440 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,592 (grunting) 441 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,802 (sighs) 442 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,053 You know, Milhouse, 443 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,222 I thought I’d love eating only frosting 444 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,015 and giving the pope a wedgie. 445 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:05,310 But I miss being a regular kid in the real world, 446 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,562 getting a hug from my mom... 447 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,317 Yeah, I thought I’d be happy with my parents back together, 448 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,153 but it’s kind of hollow. 449 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,659 All right. 450 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,995 It says here we can learn watch repair in eight one-hour lessons. 451 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,249 Boy, that took forever. 452 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:31,295 Yeah, well I work better in a structured environment. 453 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,800 Here goes nothing-- Wait! 454 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,260 When people see all the stuff we did, 455 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,261 they’re gonna kill us. 456 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,347 Yeah, and I can’t run too fast 457 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,893 after 15 years of eating nothing but Gummi Worms. 458 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,061 I’m gonna quit tomorrow, I swear! 459 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,441 What we need is a scapegoat. 460 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:02,034 Okay, acting natural and... 461 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,703 (angry yelling) 462 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,580 To repeat what I said a moment ago: 463 00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,665 "You are so dead." 464 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:14,296 (grunts and groans) 465 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,049 Dios Mio! This kid is fun to hit! 466 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,094 (whistling) 467 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:25,140 Mmm. Why is Bart so tall and shaggy? 468 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,683 Just one of life’s mysteries. 469 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,561 Like, why is my nose jammed full of army men? 470 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,022 Oh, come on, don’t you get it? 471 00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:34,983 Bart stopped time with his magic stopwatch. 472 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,360 Jealous much? 473 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:39,029 Why can’t I tinker with the fabric of existence? 474 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,489 Let the baby have her bottle. 475 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:47,371 Huh. What happens if I press this button? 476 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,748 Lisa! 477 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,958 Sorry, sorry, sorry! 478 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,592 (growls) 479 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,804 Okay, that’s good. Stop there. 480 00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,640 ♪ Put your glad rags on and join me, hon ♪ 481 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,142 ♪ We’ll have some fun when the clock strikes one ♪ 482 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,853 ♪ We’re gonna rock around the clock tonight. ♪ 483 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,107 ♪♪ 484 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,818 Captioned by VISUAL DATA 485 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,438 (screaming) 486 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,608 Enhanced by Fotokem