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D'oh!
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♪ The Simpsons 25x07 ♪
Yellow Subterfuge
Original Air Date on December 8, 2013
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00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:49,425
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:54,389
♪ Skinner! ♪
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♪ Skinner
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♪ He patrols the school halls
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00:01:00,296 --> 00:01:02,297
♪ Skinner! ♪
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00:01:02,331 --> 00:01:05,634
♪ When you spit,
he's got the balls ♪
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00:01:07,436 --> 00:01:10,505
♪ As you mosey through
the school ♪
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00:01:10,539 --> 00:01:13,475
♪ All the kids say
you're so cool ♪
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♪ And you even made
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00:01:16,579 --> 00:01:19,648
♪ Bart Simpson spill his milk
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♪ Skinner! ♪
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♪ Skinner
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♪ You're the master
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♪ Of your fate...!
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Skinner!
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♪ Skinner
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♪ You sure look
good in chaps ♪
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♪ Skinner...
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Wake up. You're on!
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00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:48,943
Children, I have
some exciting news.
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I'm here to tell you about
a field trip so amazing,
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we've put "sign here" stickers
on the permission slips.
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00:01:55,518 --> 00:01:58,953
As you recall, these stickers
came from last year's field trip
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00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,655
to the "sign here"
sticker factory.
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00:02:00,690 --> 00:02:02,791
But thanks
to my old navy buddy--
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00:02:02,825 --> 00:02:06,027
we both love to shop
at Old Navy--
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00:02:06,062 --> 00:02:09,030
the students of this school
will be taking a ride
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on a nuclear-powered,
attack-class submarine,
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the USS Tom Clancy!
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00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:25,914
So you're all excited, eh?
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Yay!
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Well, that's too bad,
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00:02:28,684 --> 00:02:30,352
because many of you
will not be going.
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00:02:30,386 --> 00:02:31,386
Huh?!
37
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,821
There's limited room
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00:02:32,855 --> 00:02:35,056
on the submarine, so only
the best-behaved students--
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as determined by me--
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will go on the trip.
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Whoo-hoo!
Well, I get to go!
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To increase the tension,
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00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,868
everyone starts
with a clean slate.
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But from this moment on...
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I am the law.
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I hold the red pen.
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♪ Skinner! ♪
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Pranks, inside use of outside
voice, off-color whistling,
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00:02:58,981 --> 00:03:01,182
and you're stricken
from the list.
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00:03:01,217 --> 00:03:04,119
And once crossed off,
you stay crossed off.
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That's what pens do.
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Help! I'm trapped in space
with a man I don't like!
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Aooga!
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Submerge! Periscope!
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Aooga! Aooga!
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Die, Nazi octopus, die!
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00:03:29,979 --> 00:03:31,880
Sweetie, about the submarine...
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00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:34,282
what's your favorite food to eat
when you're disappointed?
59
00:03:34,316 --> 00:03:35,917
I'm going shopping tomorrow.
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00:03:35,951 --> 00:03:38,486
Ice cream sandwiches. Why?
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00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:40,422
What your mother
is trying to say
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00:03:40,456 --> 00:03:42,824
is we don't think
you can be good that long.
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Mom, is that true?
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00:03:44,994 --> 00:03:48,263
Well, that's sort of what
I was trying to say, but...
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00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:50,632
What your mother
is trying to say is...
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00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:53,101
No, you're wrong!
You're all wrong!
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I didn't say anything.
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Were you thinking it?
Yes.
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Get real, ding-dong!
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00:03:58,607 --> 00:04:00,341
You've already done
so much bad stuff,
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00:04:00,376 --> 00:04:02,577
Skinner's never gonna
let you on that boat.
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00:04:02,611 --> 00:04:04,279
No, Skinner said
I had a clean slate,
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so right now, I'm as good
as any other kid.
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Good one, ding-dong.
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Mom!
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Don't listen to them.
They're the ding-dongs.
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00:04:16,025 --> 00:04:17,091
Wha...?!
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00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,561
Bart, sweetie, this
is an opportunity
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00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:22,030
for you to turn things
around yet again.
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And I believe in you.
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Yet again.
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Thanks, Mom.
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I'll start by taking my plate
to the dishwasher.
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Wherever that is.
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00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:34,275
Pfft. Marge,
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00:04:34,310 --> 00:04:36,177
I love Bart
as much as you do,
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00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:37,545
but actually not.
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00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:39,214
And that kid
cannot go one week
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00:04:39,248 --> 00:04:40,515
without getting
in trouble.
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00:04:40,549 --> 00:04:43,551
Now, if you'd be so kind
as to start my car for me,
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I'm going to Moe's.
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Ooh.
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00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:52,627
Thank you.
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00:04:54,029 --> 00:04:56,231
Whoo-hoo!
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Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm!
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00:04:58,567 --> 00:05:00,168
What are you doing?
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00:05:00,202 --> 00:05:01,603
To avoid temptation,
I'm getting rid
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00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,105
of all the things that could get
me in trouble at school.
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I buried all my whoopee cushions
in the backyard.
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00:05:09,211 --> 00:05:11,212
Hmm?
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00:05:13,082 --> 00:05:14,949
What the...?
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00:05:14,984 --> 00:05:16,417
That's not where
I buried them.
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Come on!
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Don't take my custom limo!
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00:05:21,257 --> 00:05:24,592
At least let me sniff my coke
out of the floor mats!
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00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:29,864
Oh, hi, little girl.
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00:05:29,899 --> 00:05:32,734
What brings you to see
Uncle Krusty?
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00:05:32,768 --> 00:05:34,536
Krusty, are you broke?
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00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,770
Yeah. All it takes
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00:05:35,804 --> 00:05:37,605
is some bad luck
at the ponies,
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00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,374
worse luck in
the Bitcoin market,
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00:05:39,408 --> 00:05:42,410
heavy investment in a
high-end bookmark company.
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00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:44,913
You could do what
Everybody Loves Raymond did.
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Go off the air
while I'm still good?
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00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:49,717
That horse has left the stable,
gone to the glue factory
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and has been used
to make art projects.
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00:05:52,655 --> 00:05:55,623
I mean, you could sell
foreign rights to your show.
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Even SpongeBob did it.
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Buon compleanno,
Squiduardo!
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00:06:01,497 --> 00:06:03,164
No, no, no, Roberto!
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00:06:03,198 --> 00:06:07,101
E 'una mina della
seconda guerra mondiale,
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che farà saltare
in aria e... Ah!
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Calamari?!
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00:06:12,374 --> 00:06:13,741
No...!
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00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:15,977
No!
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Uh... it's cute stuff,
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but I'm still
broke, girlie.
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Not my Monet!
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00:06:21,951 --> 00:06:23,484
I only looked
at it once!
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00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:25,019
What I'm saying is,
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you could produce
foreign versions of your TV show
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with actors
from other countries.
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Okay, I'll do it!
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Not my Shetland dolphin!
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Although I won't miss
the constant yapping.
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Papa!
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Not anymore, he ain't.
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Gum on the floor.
Off the list.
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00:07:03,759 --> 00:07:06,995
Unauthorized meat-a-pult.
Off the list!
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00:07:07,029 --> 00:07:08,796
Lips touching
the fountain.
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00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,698
Off the list.
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00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:13,201
It's not my fault
there's no water pressure.
143
00:07:13,235 --> 00:07:16,471
Excuses are like handkerchiefs;
everybody's got one.
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I don't have
a handkerchief.
145
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Off the list!
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00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:20,908
Firm but fair, sir.
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Don't want any troublemakers
on our submarine.
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00:07:23,712 --> 00:07:26,014
Not bad, Simpson.
Did you wash your knees?
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00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:27,348
Front and back, sir.
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00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,419
You're like egg salad
at a picnic, Simpson.
151
00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:34,922
Even when you look good,
we know you're going bad.
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00:07:34,957 --> 00:07:36,190
Principal Skinner?
153
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:38,593
I object to this
arbitrary use of power
154
00:07:38,627 --> 00:07:40,695
and request
I be taken off the list.
155
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Off the list!
156
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,097
Thank you.
157
00:07:46,402 --> 00:07:49,237
Oh, man! Five days
without pranking?
158
00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,572
I'm getting
strange red marks.
159
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:52,840
But I'm gonna make it!
160
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,844
Uh-oh.
161
00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:59,047
Something's wrong
with my long yellow car.
162
00:08:00,082 --> 00:08:01,683
Any of you kids got
a Triple A card?
163
00:08:02,885 --> 00:08:04,952
What? No.
I'll be late.
164
00:08:04,987 --> 00:08:07,088
Skinner will cross my name
off the list.
165
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,707
All fixed up!
166
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Off the list.
167
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For what?
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00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,795
Muddy footprints
on the school floor.
169
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,897
I've broken
a ten-year-old's spirit.
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00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:51,332
Time to celebrate
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with a fruit-
on-the-bottom yogurt.
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Plain, plain,
plain, plain...
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00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:58,272
Mmm! Fruit!
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00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:09,170
No, Mother, I did not use
any of your talc.
175
00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:11,439
I don't know why
the bottle feels lighter.
176
00:09:11,473 --> 00:09:13,474
Maybe you're just getting
stronger!
177
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,444
Some days I could just kill you.
178
00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:19,447
She heard me.
179
00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:20,615
Hello?
180
00:09:20,649 --> 00:09:22,409
Hold for the president.
181
00:09:22,418 --> 00:09:24,619
This is... Barack Obama!
182
00:09:24,653 --> 00:09:25,853
Is this a prank?
183
00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,155
No.
184
00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:29,057
That's offensive.
185
00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:30,558
I want to...
talk about... submarines...
186
00:09:30,592 --> 00:09:31,526
and trips.
187
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,994
Simpson... has to go.
188
00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:35,129
Simpson... has to go...
189
00:09:35,164 --> 00:09:37,332
on the... submarine.
On the... submarine.
190
00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:38,333
Of course.
191
00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,836
This is... Barack Obama!
192
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:44,372
♪ So in love with you...
193
00:09:44,406 --> 00:09:45,707
I like Ohio State...
194
00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,342
You can put lipstick on a pig...
195
00:09:47,376 --> 00:09:49,544
♪ So in love with you...
196
00:09:51,347 --> 00:09:52,880
Welcome.
197
00:09:52,915 --> 00:09:55,049
Welcome, foreign-market Krustys.
198
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,518
If you examine
your "Krusty Kit,"
199
00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,554
you're gonna find
unremovable green hair dye,
200
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:01,322
a used red nose
201
00:10:01,357 --> 00:10:04,158
and a guidebook
on how to capture a monkey.
202
00:10:04,193 --> 00:10:07,428
But now, the man they call
Mr. Monday Afternoon...
203
00:10:07,463 --> 00:10:08,863
Krusty!
204
00:10:08,897 --> 00:10:10,498
Hey-hey!
205
00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:11,466
Hai-hai!
Hu-hu! Heil-heil!
206
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,900
Rodgrod med Flode!
207
00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:15,770
Now, there are many words
for what I'm looking for--
208
00:10:15,804 --> 00:10:20,208
rubles, renminbi, baht--
but they all mean money,
209
00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:23,277
which rhymes with funny,
which you can be if you want.
210
00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:24,379
I don't care.
211
00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:26,381
Just do the Krusty show
in your country
212
00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:28,182
and send me ten percent.
213
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:30,251
Then send me another 60%.
214
00:10:30,285 --> 00:10:32,920
Then five percent more,
and you're good.
215
00:10:38,394 --> 00:10:39,494
Nice job, Simpson.
216
00:10:39,528 --> 00:10:41,129
You even got
my Suze Orman tape
217
00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:42,630
unstuck from
the cassette player.
218
00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:45,533
She's the reason I was able
to purchase a new watch band.
219
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:48,302
Always bragging about
his watch band.
220
00:10:49,371 --> 00:10:51,038
If only I could tell time.
221
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:53,374
Okay, I washed
your car like you asked,
222
00:10:53,409 --> 00:10:55,410
I did your paper rte,
and I'm sorry.
223
00:10:55,444 --> 00:10:56,744
I really am.
224
00:10:56,779 --> 00:10:58,579
This could be the
turning point of my life.
225
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,615
Where you, as a school guy,
made a difference.
226
00:11:00,649 --> 00:11:01,883
What do you think?
227
00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,518
Can I go on that sub?
228
00:11:05,654 --> 00:11:06,888
Sorry, Simpson.
229
00:11:06,922 --> 00:11:09,056
Take her down.
230
00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,758
Yay!
231
00:11:16,131 --> 00:11:17,498
Yay!
232
00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:19,000
Yippee!
233
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,301
Poor Bart.
234
00:11:25,107 --> 00:11:28,476
Rasta hey-hey,
on the left-hand side.
235
00:11:29,511 --> 00:11:31,145
As my mother used to say,
236
00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:32,413
"Wanti wanti can't get it,
237
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,282
getti getti no want it."
238
00:11:34,316 --> 00:11:37,251
Now here's Itchem
and Scratchem, mon.
239
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:42,590
♪ They smoke
240
00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:43,958
♪ They toke
241
00:11:43,992 --> 00:11:46,294
♪ They smoke and toke
and smoke ♪
242
00:11:46,328 --> 00:11:47,295
♪ Ha!
243
00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:48,996
♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke
244
00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:51,466
♪ Toke, toke, toke
245
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:57,171
♪ The Itchem
and Scratchem Blow. ♪
246
00:12:05,848 --> 00:12:08,683
Eye and eye say good-bye.
247
00:12:08,717 --> 00:12:11,319
The blessings of Jah
upon you all.
248
00:12:12,087 --> 00:12:13,354
Nice.
249
00:12:13,388 --> 00:12:15,056
You're a hit all
over the world.
250
00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:18,025
There's Chinese Krusty
with Sideshow Mao.
251
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,894
Even Irish Krusty.
252
00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:21,629
Me ma, she had 12 children,
253
00:12:21,663 --> 00:12:23,064
but only three lived.
254
00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,699
Then they closed the mill.
255
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,401
Hey-hey.
256
00:12:32,608 --> 00:12:34,976
And it's all thanks
to you, kid.
257
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,344
To show my
appreciation,
258
00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:37,712
I'm gonna bring
you with me
259
00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:39,514
next time I entertain
the troops.
260
00:12:39,548 --> 00:12:42,216
they're
not American troops.
261
00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:52,093
Hello, boy.
262
00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:53,361
At times like this,
263
00:12:53,395 --> 00:12:54,929
there's not much
you can say,
264
00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:56,764
especially if you don't
know what happened.
265
00:12:58,066 --> 00:13:00,101
Skinner didn't
let me go.
266
00:13:00,135 --> 00:13:01,769
Really?
267
00:13:01,803 --> 00:13:04,372
Hey, I bet that submarine
isn't so fun anyway.
268
00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:06,874
You think so?
269
00:13:06,909 --> 00:13:08,609
Fire that torpedo,
Milhouse.
270
00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:10,344
Aye, aye.
271
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,879
Where'd it go?
272
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:13,347
It was just
imaginary.
273
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,582
I know a kid
should never
274
00:13:14,616 --> 00:13:15,950
turn to his father
for help,
275
00:13:15,984 --> 00:13:17,552
but I got screwed.
276
00:13:17,586 --> 00:13:19,220
Is there anything
you can do?
277
00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:23,758
As I always say,
278
00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:25,359
don't get mad;
get dinner.
279
00:13:25,394 --> 00:13:27,128
Then get even.
280
00:13:27,162 --> 00:13:29,130
With Skinner.
281
00:13:29,164 --> 00:13:31,365
You'll really
help me get revenge?
282
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,600
Yes.
283
00:13:32,634 --> 00:13:34,368
What's Skinner's
weakness?
284
00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:35,603
Everything.
285
00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:36,871
Good.
286
00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,639
We can use that.
287
00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:41,943
♪ Skinner! ♪
288
00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:43,377
♪ Skinner ♪
289
00:13:43,412 --> 00:13:47,882
♪ You are feeling pretty smug ♪
290
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,885
♪ Skinner! ♪
291
00:13:50,919 --> 00:13:54,622
♪ Sipping cocoa from a mug ♪
292
00:13:54,656 --> 00:13:58,626
♪ When you've reached
the mountaintop ♪
293
00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,395
♪ Your next step is a drop. ♪
294
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:10,438
No, no, no, no, no!
295
00:14:10,472 --> 00:14:12,506
♪ Skinner! ♪
296
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:19,585
I'll be right there.
297
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,621
Just saying good-bye to Mother.
298
00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:24,056
Seymour, I'm going out
for a walk.
299
00:14:24,091 --> 00:14:26,525
Uh-huh, see you in several
months at the soonest.
300
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,468
We have a problem,
Seymour.
301
00:14:35,502 --> 00:14:36,736
I did everything
for you
302
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,971
and you stabbed
me in the back.
303
00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:42,108
Wait a minute, I knew you
were a neat freak, Skinner,
304
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,443
but you beat your rug
till it bleeds?
305
00:14:47,881 --> 00:14:49,749
All right,
I'll come clean.
306
00:14:49,783 --> 00:14:53,185
I woke up and, surprisingly,
Mother wasn't there beside me.
307
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,521
She was dead.
308
00:14:56,923 --> 00:14:59,358
Still, I can't
be sure I killed her.
309
00:14:59,393 --> 00:15:01,861
Well, I'm sure
our town's police force
310
00:15:01,895 --> 00:15:04,297
will handle this
competently.
311
00:15:08,068 --> 00:15:10,036
Now, I could
investigate further,
312
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,838
but you don't want to sit
in a jail all weekend.
313
00:15:12,873 --> 00:15:15,875
Chief, that was
awfully arbitrary.
314
00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:17,510
Not compared to this.
315
00:15:21,982 --> 00:15:23,149
Let me handle this.
316
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:24,850
Just go upstairs
and shut the door.
317
00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:28,554
There are some things
only a boy should see.
318
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:42,802
Now do you want to dispose
of this jelly-soaked pillow?
319
00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:45,271
Just call me The Cleaner.
320
00:15:53,447 --> 00:15:55,081
Um, where's the body?
321
00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:56,615
She's in a better place.
322
00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:02,755
The deed is done.
323
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,523
Oh, I wish you'd
asked me before you...
324
00:16:04,558 --> 00:16:06,492
Look, you kill them,
I get rid of them.
325
00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:07,760
That's always
been our deal.
326
00:16:07,794 --> 00:16:09,061
But I do have one question:
327
00:16:09,096 --> 00:16:10,363
Do you want the head?
328
00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,264
No, no, God, no.
329
00:16:12,299 --> 00:16:14,533
Well, if you change your mind,
it'll be in my freezer.
330
00:16:14,568 --> 00:16:15,801
But only for a week.
331
00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:17,536
Got a lot of ice cream
coming in.
332
00:16:17,571 --> 00:16:20,606
Ugh, if this were a movie,
Mother wouldn't let me watch it.
333
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,209
Now, I'm afraid it's time
to start your new life.
334
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,411
You'll be hunted,
on the run,
335
00:16:25,445 --> 00:16:27,613
searching for the man
who killed your mother,
336
00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:29,448
which is you.
So avoid mirrors.
337
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:35,955
Krusty, I have
some very bad news.
338
00:16:35,989 --> 00:16:38,257
The foreign Krustys
are all hotter than you.
339
00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:41,127
Irish Krusty's
got a show on Broadway.
340
00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:42,895
Oi, where's your monkey?
341
00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:44,263
There never was a monkey.
342
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:45,631
I was just tellin' stories
343
00:16:45,665 --> 00:16:47,299
to forget me consumption.
344
00:16:50,404 --> 00:16:51,437
Well, you see there,
345
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:53,172
they need to hit the
word "monkey" harder
346
00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:54,807
if they want
to get a laugh.
347
00:16:54,841 --> 00:16:56,876
Don't you get
what I'm trying to tell you?
348
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:59,912
You are now the least popular
Krusty in the world.
349
00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,914
What about Romanian Krusty?
350
00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:04,049
What, you mean
President-for-Life Krusty?
351
00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:07,553
I still get a
piece, right?
352
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,455
Putz.
You're the least successful
353
00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:11,090
version of you there is.
354
00:17:11,124 --> 00:17:12,191
A piece.
355
00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:14,894
Now, let's see
where this goes.
356
00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:17,596
Irish Krusty, this
is your baby.
357
00:17:17,631 --> 00:17:20,933
The only thing working
round here is your libido.
358
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,169
Now I know why Ma
walked into the sea
359
00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:26,172
with her pockets full
of rocks, on Christmas.
360
00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:29,608
Why doesn't this
material work for me?
361
00:17:29,643 --> 00:17:32,845
Seymour, the cops
are on their way.
362
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:40,119
Here's a bus ticket
to Juarez and your fake I.D.
363
00:17:40,153 --> 00:17:41,520
Oh, come on,
364
00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:42,922
I don't look anything like this
365
00:17:42,956 --> 00:17:43,956
"Dick Fiddler."
366
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,891
No, you don't... yet.
367
00:17:47,994 --> 00:17:49,295
I don't want to
sound ungrateful,
368
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,096
but could I eat
one of the potatoes?
369
00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:55,000
Sorry, but Dick Fiddler
is allergic to potatoes.
370
00:17:55,035 --> 00:17:56,302
I understand.
371
00:18:03,677 --> 00:18:04,877
Dad?
372
00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:06,612
Thanks for sticking up for me.
373
00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,449
Someday I may have
to fake my own death.
374
00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:12,384
And maybe you can
help me with that.
375
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:13,652
Sure, Dad.
376
00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:14,854
Someday soon.
377
00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:16,989
As in, what are you
doing this Friday?
378
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:20,392
Aah! Dick Fiddler!
379
00:18:20,427 --> 00:18:22,795
Gentlemen, I can't
run away from what I've done.
380
00:18:22,829 --> 00:18:24,730
I accept that
I killed my mother.
381
00:18:24,764 --> 00:18:27,166
My whole life,
she's belittled me.
382
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,802
Maybe deep down, I'm glad.
383
00:18:29,836 --> 00:18:31,470
This has gone
far enough.
384
00:18:31,505 --> 00:18:34,039
I'm starting to think
this "school project"
385
00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:35,841
is more than
meets the eye.
386
00:18:35,876 --> 00:18:37,743
Mother?
You're alive?
387
00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:40,479
Seymour, when this
fat guy and his kid
388
00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:42,681
asked me to fake my
death to punish you,
389
00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:45,684
I said, "Sure, that's
something to do."
390
00:18:45,719 --> 00:18:48,220
You know, when you
glare like that,
391
00:18:48,255 --> 00:18:50,155
you look really
beautiful.
392
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,991
Mm-hmm.
393
00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:53,692
But when I just
heard you say
394
00:18:53,727 --> 00:18:56,428
you were glad
to see me dead...
395
00:18:56,463 --> 00:18:59,398
I thought, "Now I'm gonna
be meaner to you than ever."
396
00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,000
How is that possible?
397
00:19:01,034 --> 00:19:04,003
I've stopped taking
those pills that keep me nice.
398
00:19:09,442 --> 00:19:10,743
♪ Fiddler! ♪
399
00:19:10,777 --> 00:19:13,946
♪ Fiddler, you look stupid ♪
400
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,682
♪ In that beard ♪
401
00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:20,085
♪ Fiddler! ♪
402
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,889
♪ This dream is getting weird. ♪
403
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,497
So I heard many of you
404
00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:41,334
are dissatisfied with
my 75% cut of your take.
405
00:19:41,368 --> 00:19:44,471
Well, we did consider
letting you keep more.
406
00:19:45,606 --> 00:19:47,006
But instead,
407
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,342
we're giving you
something even better.
408
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:52,912
I will do a guest shot
on each of your shows.
409
00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:54,814
Huh? Eh?
410
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,051
Twist him like a balloon.
411
00:19:58,085 --> 00:19:59,586
Cut off his hey-heys.
412
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,488
Let's slice him up
and cook him
413
00:20:01,522 --> 00:20:03,389
in our traditional dishes.
414
00:20:03,424 --> 00:20:04,991
Krusty, can't you
think of something?
415
00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:06,893
I'm very bad in a crisis.
416
00:20:06,927 --> 00:20:08,428
I also can't ad-lib,
417
00:20:08,462 --> 00:20:11,064
memorize anything,
improv or tell a joke.
418
00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:12,899
Uh, you know, why did you
even become a clown?
419
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,934
Well, I was supposed to
be one of the sad ones.
420
00:20:14,969 --> 00:20:19,969
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
421
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,277
♪ They smoke, they toke
422
00:20:24,311 --> 00:20:26,513
♪ They smoke and toke
and smoke ♪
423
00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:27,647
♪ Ha!
424
00:20:27,681 --> 00:20:29,883
♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke
425
00:20:29,917 --> 00:20:31,885
♪ Toke, toke, toke
426
00:20:31,919 --> 00:20:37,557
♪ The Itchem
and Scratchem Blow ♪
427
00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:38,658
♪ Ha!
428
00:21:02,352 --> 00:21:03,669
Shh!