1
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:34,937
D'oh!
2
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,640
♪ The Simpsons 25x10 ♪
Married to the Blob
Original Air Date on January 12, 2014
3
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:18,641
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
4
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,621
High above Zenith City,
5
00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:23,190
Radioactive Man keeps
a lonely vigil!
6
00:01:23,225 --> 00:01:24,658
All seems quiet.
7
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,360
Maybe I'll fly to China
and get some takeout.
8
00:01:26,395 --> 00:01:29,130
A sky tweet from
Commissioner Sweeney!
9
00:01:29,164 --> 00:01:32,666
@radioactivemanó01.
10
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:36,837
Leaping Leptons!
11
00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:38,372
It's the Fossil Fuel Four!
12
00:01:38,407 --> 00:01:39,974
Old King Coal...
13
00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,776
Patroleus Rex...
14
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,045
French Femme Fatale
Charcoal Briquette...
15
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,015
...and the enemy of
drinking water everywhere,
16
00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:49,016
the Fracker.
17
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,321
Stop attacking
the nuclear plant--
18
00:01:54,356 --> 00:01:56,457
this country's
safest energy source!
19
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,692
Studies show,
I'm America's best hope
20
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,394
for energy independence.
21
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:04,065
Those studies were
industry financed.
22
00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:05,733
You lie!
23
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:06,867
Holy Hedrons!
24
00:02:06,902 --> 00:02:07,902
I need backup!
25
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:09,904
Calling Citizen Solar,
26
00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:11,739
and his sidekick Wind Lad.
27
00:02:11,773 --> 00:02:13,274
I believe
you will find them
28
00:02:13,308 --> 00:02:15,076
lacking in energy.
29
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,144
It's too cloudy.
30
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,448
People don't like
the noise I make.
31
00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:21,782
Ehhh...
32
00:02:24,453 --> 00:02:25,586
Petroleus Rex,
33
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:26,687
please remember when
you used to be
34
00:02:26,721 --> 00:02:28,823
Environmental Scientist
Rex Bernstein.
35
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:32,159
I have become my destiny.
36
00:02:41,002 --> 00:02:43,270
I'll crush you
like a gnat, King Coal.
37
00:02:58,153 --> 00:02:59,787
Half life.
38
00:02:59,821 --> 00:03:01,655
Quar... ter life.
39
00:03:01,690 --> 00:03:03,491
Eighth life.
40
00:03:03,525 --> 00:03:05,259
Gone.
41
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,995
Frack-cellent!
42
00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:13,801
They killed off
Radioactive Man?
43
00:03:13,835 --> 00:03:15,603
I did not
see that coming.
44
00:03:15,637 --> 00:03:18,239
Die-carumba!
45
00:03:18,273 --> 00:03:20,407
They'll just reboot
Radioactive Man
46
00:03:20,442 --> 00:03:22,076
in an overpriced
new origin issue
47
00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:23,911
and get clueless
fanboys like you
48
00:03:23,945 --> 00:03:25,713
to line up at midnight
to buy them.
49
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,249
Clueless fanboys
in costume.
50
00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:31,685
Wow!
51
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:32,853
Midnight.
52
00:03:32,888 --> 00:03:35,489
I won't know which day
to write in my diary.
53
00:03:35,524 --> 00:03:36,724
Homer.
What?
54
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,225
Will you take me
to buy a comic book
55
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,260
Tuesday at midnight?
56
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,228
And miss the back half
of Jimmy Kimmel?
57
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,164
That's when
he experiments, boy.
58
00:03:43,198 --> 00:03:45,366
You never watched
an episode of Jimmy Kimmel
59
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,267
in your life.
60
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:47,434
Yes, I have.
61
00:03:47,469 --> 00:03:49,136
After the Oscars,
when he forces you.
62
00:03:56,978 --> 00:03:58,412
Quiet. Quiet!
63
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,248
And attention please,
valued customers.
64
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,350
You will each be allowed
to enter the store,
65
00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:05,186
and buy one copy.
66
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:07,354
Swallow your gum, now.
67
00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:10,057
Oh. Oh.
Mr. Book Guy.
68
00:04:10,091 --> 00:04:11,392
Can I go first?
69
00:04:11,426 --> 00:04:14,395
I was once cast to play
Fallout Boy in a movie.
70
00:04:14,429 --> 00:04:16,096
Tell it to Harlan Ellison.
71
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,365
I think, you
over-privileged kids
72
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,900
with your
electronic tablets
73
00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:21,268
and your
talking phones,
74
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,870
wouldn't know
a good piece of fiction
75
00:04:22,904 --> 00:04:25,139
if your iPod
read it to your ass.
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00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:27,775
I wish someone would have
come from the future,
77
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,743
and warned me
not to talk to you.
78
00:04:29,778 --> 00:04:31,078
That's my idea!
79
00:04:31,112 --> 00:04:32,646
You're stealing
my idea!
80
00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:33,847
Sorry.
81
00:04:44,092 --> 00:04:45,059
C-B-G.
82
00:04:45,093 --> 00:04:46,594
What's the happs,
my man?
83
00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:47,494
Well, well, well.
84
00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:48,729
If it isn't Milo,
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00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:51,599
the owner of my main
competitor, Coolsville.
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00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:53,834
Or should I say,
"Foolsville."
87
00:04:53,868 --> 00:04:56,737
That is some tasty
cashish, my friend.
88
00:04:56,771 --> 00:04:57,671
Indeed.
89
00:04:57,706 --> 00:04:59,673
And how did you
spend your evening?
90
00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:00,741
Um... Let's see.
91
00:05:00,775 --> 00:05:02,843
I wrote a Lost
fan fiction finale
92
00:05:02,877 --> 00:05:05,412
that also answers all the
questions from Twin Peaks.
93
00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:08,249
Reranked all the DoctorWhos by
puffiness of the hair.
94
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:10,517
Oh, and I also got
married to my actual,
95
00:05:10,552 --> 00:05:11,585
non-imaginary,
96
00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:12,820
comic-tolerating
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00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,321
girlfriend,
Strawberry.
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00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,223
Now when Milo
talks to himself,
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00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:17,691
it won't seem crazy.
100
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:20,327
So, Milo talks
to himself.
101
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,896
We will treasure
that information.
102
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:26,066
Yes... we will.
103
00:05:26,101 --> 00:05:27,668
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
104
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,637
I'm gonna share this
primo origin ish
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00:05:29,671 --> 00:05:31,005
with my bride.
106
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,673
Even the mintiest comic
is just acidifying pulp,
107
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,175
if you have no one to
read it with, right?
108
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,077
Nerds don't get girls.
109
00:05:37,112 --> 00:05:38,512
These days
they do, man.
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00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,714
Comic-Con is now
eight percent women.
111
00:05:40,749 --> 00:05:41,915
Burn!
112
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,218
Wrong... Wrong!
113
00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:46,220
Wro-- Where is he?
114
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:47,721
Come on, buddy,
I gotta get home
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00:05:47,756 --> 00:05:49,657
and climb into bed
with my loving wife.
116
00:05:49,691 --> 00:05:50,658
Oh, right.
117
00:05:50,692 --> 00:05:52,526
You have
a loving wife.
118
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,728
Oh. Marge and I
get along perfect.
119
00:05:54,763 --> 00:05:58,065
We're like George Burns
and John Denver.
120
00:06:00,101 --> 00:06:01,735
Oh, man!
121
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:04,772
Carrying these kids
is hard on my back.
122
00:06:04,806 --> 00:06:05,773
Oh...!
123
00:06:05,807 --> 00:06:07,541
Oh, yeah!
124
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,542
And now to Moe's.
125
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,877
Look at him. Look.
126
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,445
He's got
family... friends.
127
00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:12,746
What do I have?
128
00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:15,883
Oof. Jimmy Olsen
vs. Matter Eater Lad.
129
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,619
Hm. This is better than
I remembered, actually.
130
00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:19,620
No...!
131
00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:20,621
No it isn't!
132
00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:21,488
It-It's horrible!
133
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,125
The only thing that could make
this moment more cliched,
134
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,428
is if I started to sing
about my feelings.
135
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,363
And... here I go.
136
00:06:32,233 --> 00:06:35,369
♪ I've always been happy
137
00:06:35,403 --> 00:06:38,272
♪ To call myself single
138
00:06:38,306 --> 00:06:39,940
♪ No Mary Jane
139
00:06:39,974 --> 00:06:41,241
♪ Or Lois Lane
140
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,244
♪ With whom I'd co-mingle
141
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,282
♪ You could say that I was
142
00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:51,652
♪ An unstackable Pringle
143
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:57,591
♪ I've got originals signed
144
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,761
♪ By Siegel and Shuster
145
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,430
♪ But they don't satisfy
146
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,734
♪ In the way
that they used-ter ♪
147
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:11,572
♪ It really don't matter
if you've got a Cap Anson ♪
148
00:07:11,606 --> 00:07:14,575
♪ If you spend your nights
in your underwear prancin' ♪
149
00:07:14,609 --> 00:07:15,976
♪ With your cardboard stand
150
00:07:16,010 --> 00:07:18,045
♪ Of Scarlett Johansson!
151
00:07:23,184 --> 00:07:26,253
♪ Guess I've always
been lonely ♪
152
00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:29,089
♪ But I've never revealed it
153
00:07:29,124 --> 00:07:32,459
♪ Dropped my heart into Mylar
154
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,628
♪ And then...
155
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:39,633
♪ Vacuum sealed... it.
156
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,705
Stan Lee!
157
00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:46,540
Or, is it
my imagination?
158
00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:48,308
I'm your
imagination.
159
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,377
The real Stan Lee's
over there.
160
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:51,545
Excelsior!
161
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,148
But listen,
162
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,983
as comic book
guys go,
163
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,718
you're trim,
friendly, and,
164
00:07:57,752 --> 00:07:58,852
quite a catch.
165
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:03,524
But now... your
opportunity is knocking.
166
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:05,893
Huh...?!
167
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,396
Don't let it slip by.
168
00:08:09,431 --> 00:08:10,397
Can you help me?
169
00:08:10,432 --> 00:08:11,865
I can only watch.
170
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,801
I cannot interfere.
171
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:17,237
New Radioactive Man
number one, please.
172
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,374
Come on, nudnik.
Ask her out.
173
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:21,375
You're interfering.
174
00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:22,743
Hey, I'm 90
years old.
175
00:08:22,777 --> 00:08:24,945
I can do
what I want.
176
00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:33,070
Um... Er...
Stammer. Eh...
177
00:08:33,104 --> 00:08:34,104
C-Can I
sign you up
178
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,106
for our frequent
buyer's club?
179
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,307
The Just Us League?
180
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:39,109
You would be
member number 003.
181
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,078
I-- I am
the first two.
182
00:08:41,112 --> 00:08:42,079
Sure.
183
00:08:42,113 --> 00:08:44,648
I am Kumiko Nakamura
from Osaka.
184
00:08:44,682 --> 00:08:47,084
I am visiting America's
saddest cities,
185
00:08:47,118 --> 00:08:49,853
as research for my
autobiographical manga.
186
00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:53,390
Volume Six, Springfield.
187
00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:55,125
Land of Angry Tears.
188
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,394
That's you.
189
00:08:57,428 --> 00:08:59,062
The man with
sparkling eyes,
190
00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:00,397
and zigzag beard.
191
00:09:00,431 --> 00:09:01,998
You have
seen me before?
192
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:03,734
Yes.
Through window.
193
00:09:03,768 --> 00:09:05,102
But you
don't see me.
194
00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:07,003
You're either looking
down in disgust,
195
00:09:07,038 --> 00:09:08,438
or up in disdain.
196
00:09:08,473 --> 00:09:10,474
I think you
have great soul.
197
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,742
Would you permit me
to go in the back,
198
00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:12,776
and do a
brief inventory?
199
00:09:13,711 --> 00:09:15,378
She tolerates me!
200
00:09:17,048 --> 00:09:18,248
Ah... Is it too soon
201
00:09:18,282 --> 00:09:19,916
to give you flowers
in a Hulk hand?
202
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:22,652
It is the
perfect time.
203
00:09:25,957 --> 00:09:26,990
Hmm?
204
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:27,991
Bart!
205
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,659
Your comic
vendor's here.
206
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,028
Uh, actually, it is you
that I am here to see.
207
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:34,197
I, um,
I need your help.
208
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:35,699
I am getting
ready for a date.
209
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:38,001
The closest thing
I have to a father
210
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,036
is the Obi-Wan
doll in my store.
211
00:09:40,071 --> 00:09:42,339
And he comes from a race
of celibate knights.
212
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,340
So...
213
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,341
I will help you.
214
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,876
As long as
our bellies
215
00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:47,144
never
touch again
216
00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,979
like they are
right now.
217
00:09:49,013 --> 00:09:49,980
Ew!
218
00:09:50,014 --> 00:09:51,114
Oh...!
219
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:52,382
Why pick me?
220
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:55,018
Because you are the only
fat man in real life
221
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,386
who ever got
a hot woman.
222
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,954
Hey.
Ooh...
223
00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,623
Well, come in.
224
00:09:59,657 --> 00:10:01,491
I'll explain
how it all works.
225
00:10:01,526 --> 00:10:03,193
Okay. It helps if
she's got a mother
226
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,795
she's trying
to get back at.
227
00:10:04,829 --> 00:10:06,296
Aw...
228
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:08,732
No woman will be able
to resist you,
229
00:10:08,766 --> 00:10:09,833
dressed like this.
230
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:10,967
Now, remember,
231
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,702
don't be the way
you normally are
232
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,572
and sustain that
for the rest of your life.
233
00:10:15,606 --> 00:10:17,674
Kumiko, uh, meet my
dear friends
234
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:19,042
uh, Homer and
Marge Simpson.
235
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:21,044
I-In my country,
it is a tradition
236
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,179
to bring a
much older couple
237
00:10:22,213 --> 00:10:23,180
on a first date.
238
00:10:23,214 --> 00:10:24,481
It is not
in any way, weird,
239
00:10:24,515 --> 00:10:25,916
or-or sad.
240
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:26,983
Does anyone tell you
241
00:10:27,018 --> 00:10:28,185
that you look
like the man
242
00:10:28,219 --> 00:10:30,053
on a box of Mr. Sparkle?
243
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,255
Aka ni taishte burei da!
244
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,158
Yogore o yaburu!
245
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:37,227
In Japan,
drinking your detergent
246
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,196
is a popular
method of suicide.
247
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,931
Honki da yo?!
248
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:46,269
Kumiko, for you,
249
00:10:46,304 --> 00:10:48,905
we chose the coolest
restaurant in town.
250
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,074
But the walls
are covered with garbage.
251
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,242
Oh...
252
00:10:53,578 --> 00:10:55,812
Not garbage,
Americana.
253
00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,950
Here's some
more Americana,
254
00:10:59,984 --> 00:11:01,618
that bubbled up
in the swamp.
255
00:11:01,652 --> 00:11:04,020
Your All-American
256
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:06,389
Fifty State Potato
Skin Sampler.
257
00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:09,125
Wisconsin, cheddar.
258
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,560
Maryland, blue crab.
259
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:11,862
They're neither
in alphabetical,
260
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,363
nor geographical order.
261
00:11:13,397 --> 00:11:15,298
What-What
madness is this?
262
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,566
Please, sir.
263
00:11:16,601 --> 00:11:19,135
Ask your questions
after all 50 "tates."
264
00:11:22,907 --> 00:11:25,508
I cannot hide
the snide inside.
265
00:11:25,543 --> 00:11:27,410
Oh. I don't mind.
266
00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:28,945
If you think
it's stupid,
267
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:29,946
say it's stupid.
268
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,147
Really?
269
00:11:31,182 --> 00:11:33,783
In Japan, no one ever
says what they think.
270
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,919
We know our game
shows are degrading
271
00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:37,988
and our baseball
fences are too close.
272
00:11:38,022 --> 00:11:39,289
But no one
says anything.
273
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,658
Attention, restaurateurs!
274
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:44,327
You should've spent
less on the kitsch,
275
00:11:44,362 --> 00:11:45,996
and more on
the kitch-en.
276
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:48,965
With this bowl of
Chuck's Cherokee Salsa,
277
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:53,103
I baptize you
mediocre, at best.
278
00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:55,272
American nerd snark
279
00:11:55,306 --> 00:11:57,173
is the finest
in the world.
280
00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:58,241
Let's go walking
281
00:11:58,276 --> 00:11:59,976
and mocking
in the rain.
282
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,144
I'm in love!
283
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,418
And, yet, still
a little bitter.
284
00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:04,881
It's surprising.
285
00:12:16,827 --> 00:12:19,462
Father,
why-sa you-sa forsake-a me-sa?
286
00:12:40,484 --> 00:12:43,119
Marge, Homer, you have
nurtured our love
287
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:45,522
like Steven Speilberg
nurtured the careers
288
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,057
of Zemeckis and Gale.
289
00:12:47,091 --> 00:12:48,058
Oh...
290
00:12:48,092 --> 00:12:49,526
So, we want
you to know,
291
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,294
I have decided
to move in
292
00:12:51,329 --> 00:12:53,296
to the basement
under his store.
293
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:54,965
At last, we'll be
in the same bed.
294
00:12:54,999 --> 00:12:56,499
Just like
Batman and Robin.
295
00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:58,001
- Ohh....
- Hmm...
296
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:02,205
Homer, I want you
to take Kumiko
297
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,574
and Comic Book Guy
a housewarming present,
298
00:13:04,608 --> 00:13:05,875
and maybe
check in on them?
299
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,644
We talked
about this, Marge.
300
00:13:07,678 --> 00:13:09,779
The hammock
is a chore-free zone.
301
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,683
Apparently, including tying the knots
on the hammock.
302
00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:18,755
And getting the termites
out of the trees.
303
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,225
Not a word.
304
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,730
Excuse me, sir.
305
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,732
I am looking
for my daughter.
306
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,567
I thought this
was her residence,
307
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,069
but all I see
is a store full of, uh,
308
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,904
non-pornographic manga.
309
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,240
You're Kumiko's father?
310
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,242
Welcome, sensei.
311
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,910
I am not a
Kung fu instructor.
312
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,245
I am a humble
salary man
313
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,446
who could
kick your ass.
314
00:13:43,481 --> 00:13:44,447
Say, has
anyone told you
315
00:13:44,482 --> 00:13:45,515
you look like--
316
00:13:45,549 --> 00:13:47,550
I know. Mr. Sparkle.
317
00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:49,085
I was going to say,
318
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,720
like you're going
to have a stroke.
319
00:13:51,756 --> 00:13:52,789
I get that a lot too.
320
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:55,425
Now, please,
where is my daughter?
321
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,961
Okay. She moved in
with her boyfriend.
322
00:13:57,995 --> 00:13:59,529
Well, he's not a boy.
323
00:13:59,563 --> 00:14:00,530
He's immature.
324
00:14:00,564 --> 00:14:01,598
But, fat and old.
325
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,534
So, an obese nerd
has stolen my daughter
326
00:14:04,568 --> 00:14:05,935
to live in his basement?
327
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,410
I didn't tell you
about the basement.
328
00:14:07,438 --> 00:14:08,905
It was an
obvious guess!
329
00:14:12,843 --> 00:14:13,810
Daughter!
330
00:14:13,844 --> 00:14:15,412
You are coming
back to Japan!
331
00:14:15,446 --> 00:14:17,414
There are 87
old people
332
00:14:17,448 --> 00:14:19,215
who need you to
take care of them.
333
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,316
No. Please...
Please.
334
00:14:20,351 --> 00:14:21,718
I was becoming
cuddly.
335
00:14:21,752 --> 00:14:23,953
I deleted rants
from my blog.
336
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,588
You can
retrieve rants
337
00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:26,756
if you did not
empty your trash.
338
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:27,791
Goodbye!
339
00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:37,631
Now I know
I've got a heart...
340
00:14:37,665 --> 00:14:39,099
because
it's breaking.
341
00:14:39,134 --> 00:14:40,768
Wizard of Oz
reference!
342
00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:42,402
Did I do that?
343
00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:43,604
Urkle reference!
344
00:14:43,638 --> 00:14:45,305
Help me.
345
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:46,473
Fire reference!
346
00:14:46,508 --> 00:14:48,075
I can't stop.
347
00:14:48,109 --> 00:14:49,076
I can't stop.
348
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,078
Homer Simpson,
this was your doing.
349
00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:52,546
And I want you
to fix it.
350
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:54,414
I have a bad
feeling about this!
351
00:14:54,449 --> 00:14:56,583
Every action movie
ever made reference!
352
00:14:56,618 --> 00:14:57,618
Now!
353
00:14:59,854 --> 00:15:00,821
Yeah, Homer.
354
00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:02,389
We have much
in common.
355
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,291
We both love
our daughters,
356
00:15:04,325 --> 00:15:06,126
and discipline
our sons.
357
00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:08,662
No...
discipline would imply,
358
00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:10,464
I'm trying to
make him better.
359
00:15:10,498 --> 00:15:11,832
So... are you married?
360
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:14,902
My dear Michiko
has passed away.
361
00:15:14,936 --> 00:15:17,137
But she's always with me.
362
00:15:17,172 --> 00:15:19,173
You promise
double suicide.
363
00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,841
You hear what
you want to hear.
364
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,343
Always with me.
365
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:24,344
Another drink!
366
00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:25,379
Something stronger!
367
00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:35,322
Snake rice wine.
368
00:15:35,356 --> 00:15:36,957
Now, that's disgusting.
369
00:15:36,991 --> 00:15:38,392
Wine made of rice?
370
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:43,263
Try some.
371
00:15:43,298 --> 00:15:44,331
Hai.
372
00:15:52,507 --> 00:15:54,007
Why didn't I stop
373
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,709
with the snake wine?
374
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:58,278
Why did I drink
the fish wine?
375
00:15:58,313 --> 00:15:59,980
That was
the aquarium.
376
00:16:22,170 --> 00:16:24,204
You didn't see nothin'. Scram.
377
00:17:01,409 --> 00:17:03,710
Uh! I am ruined
by whimsy.
378
00:17:06,447 --> 00:17:07,681
The good thing is,
379
00:17:07,715 --> 00:17:10,384
soon I'll be a
beautiful swan.
380
00:17:14,622 --> 00:17:15,622
Aw...
381
00:17:17,425 --> 00:17:18,692
What's going
on here?
382
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:20,027
We'll explain it.
383
00:17:20,061 --> 00:17:22,195
The rice wine
has penetrated
384
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:24,298
to the essence
of your souls.
385
00:17:24,332 --> 00:17:25,599
Yeah, listen to my tail.
386
00:17:25,633 --> 00:17:26,900
You're the tail!
387
00:17:26,935 --> 00:17:28,201
No... You're
the tail.
388
00:17:28,236 --> 00:17:29,603
Dad!
Bart's feet are on
389
00:17:29,637 --> 00:17:31,138
my half
of the shell!
390
00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:32,706
Why, you slimey little--
391
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:33,707
Ow!
392
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:35,776
Ooh.
393
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:36,977
Hey, that
actually feels good.
394
00:17:37,011 --> 00:17:38,078
Oh, yeah. More.
395
00:17:38,112 --> 00:17:39,079
A little bit more.
396
00:17:39,113 --> 00:17:40,080
Right there. Oh, yeah.
397
00:17:40,114 --> 00:17:41,748
Oh, yeah.
That's the stuff.
398
00:17:41,783 --> 00:17:43,250
Enough nonsense!
399
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:44,785
I came here
for my daughter!
400
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:49,389
♪ I-I am a golden bird
401
00:17:49,424 --> 00:17:52,459
♪ And I love the comic nerd
402
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:54,995
♪ Of this, I won't be cured
403
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:58,799
♪ Papa-san, Papa-san.
404
00:18:01,869 --> 00:18:03,770
The monster is me.
405
00:18:03,805 --> 00:18:06,006
Who... 'da thunk it?
406
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,447
Homer, drinking
that snake wine,
407
00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:15,916
and going to White
Castle afterwards,
408
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,951
really opened my eyes.
409
00:18:20,154 --> 00:18:21,154
Mr. Nakamura,
410
00:18:21,189 --> 00:18:23,156
I have used my
hitherto unmentioned
411
00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:24,791
chemical
engineering degree
412
00:18:24,826 --> 00:18:26,159
to get a real job
413
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:28,295
at the Springfield
Phosphate Works.
414
00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:30,297
They're giant
polluters.
415
00:18:30,331 --> 00:18:32,666
But... the CEO
is a woman.
416
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,001
It's very vexing.
417
00:18:34,035 --> 00:18:36,203
Now, have I
proven myself
418
00:18:36,237 --> 00:18:37,671
worthy of
your daughter?
419
00:18:37,705 --> 00:18:38,772
No.
420
00:18:38,806 --> 00:18:40,440
Please, take
your time.
421
00:18:40,475 --> 00:18:41,675
You were worthy!
422
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:43,443
The way you were.
423
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:44,878
I-- I was?
424
00:18:44,912 --> 00:18:45,946
But I rented
the store.
425
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:47,681
I eBayed my stool.
426
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:48,815
Cancel the sale.
427
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,117
But then my
seller rating
428
00:18:50,151 --> 00:18:51,318
will go down...
429
00:18:51,352 --> 00:18:52,319
Stop being nerd!
430
00:18:52,353 --> 00:18:53,353
Yes, Papa-san.
431
00:18:58,026 --> 00:18:59,559
Geekly beloved,
432
00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:00,827
we are
gathered here
433
00:19:00,862 --> 00:19:02,295
in the
eyes of me,
434
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:03,497
King of the Cameos,
435
00:19:03,531 --> 00:19:04,498
Stan Lee.
436
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:05,999
To celebrate
the wedding of,
437
00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:07,334
Comic Book Guy,
438
00:19:07,368 --> 00:19:09,336
and Kumiko Nakamura.
439
00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:11,972
Does anyone wish
to offer any thoughts,
440
00:19:12,006 --> 00:19:14,074
on this
blessed occasion?
441
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:15,075
Yes.
442
00:19:15,109 --> 00:19:16,676
I-I-I would like
to say something.
443
00:19:16,711 --> 00:19:18,678
Um, since I met Kumiko,
444
00:19:18,713 --> 00:19:20,147
strangely,
comic books
445
00:19:20,181 --> 00:19:22,082
no longer seem
so important.
446
00:19:22,116 --> 00:19:24,184
I will also be selling
greeting cards.
447
00:19:24,218 --> 00:19:25,185
And, every day,
448
00:19:25,219 --> 00:19:26,420
I will give
one to Kumiko
449
00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:28,055
in commemoration
of today,
450
00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:29,556
with the
salutation,
451
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,392
"Best... Day... Ever."
452
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,029
Ghost Wife,
453
00:19:36,064 --> 00:19:37,397
are you happy?
454
00:19:37,432 --> 00:19:38,665
Kind of!
455
00:19:55,671 --> 00:19:58,639
How long am I
gonna stay this way?
456
00:19:58,674 --> 00:20:01,676
As long as we
keep drinkin' this.
457
00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:05,079
Give us
your eggs.
458
00:20:05,113 --> 00:20:06,314
I'm a boy.
459
00:20:06,348 --> 00:20:07,548
We said eggs.
460
00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:16,424
Yes!
461
00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:21,458
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
462
00:21:02,685 --> 00:21:04,686
Shh!