1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,756
(SINGING) The Simpsons

2
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,091
(TIRES SCREECHING)

3
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,469
D'oh!

4
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,512
(SCREAMS)

5
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:13,596
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:31,948
Ah, there's nothing better
than relaxing with
my favorite magazine.

7
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,785
(GASPS)

8
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,872
Oh, they're showing
the filling now.
Can they do that?

9
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,457
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC STARTS)

10
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,959
What the hell is that?

11
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,214
Rainbows. Tank tops.
Empowerment.

12
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,217
This is the
gay pride parade!
Woo-hoo!

13
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:55,513
BOTH: We're here!
We're queer! Get used to it!

14
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,641
You do this every year!
We are used to it!

15
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,226
Spoil sport!

16
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,733
(UNEASILY) Uh...

17
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,903
Oh, honey. Think pink!
Look, a salute to safe sex.

18
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,201
(CHUCKLING)

19
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,413
SMITHERS: We're gay.
We're glad.

20
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,248
PATTY: But don't tell
Mom and Dad.

21
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:25,334
Wouldn't it be great
if that man and woman
got together?

22
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,129
Cool! It's Lesbians
of the Caribbean!

23
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:31,924
(SINGING) Yo, ho, ho
It's an alternative
lifestyle for me

24
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:40,683
Oh, a salute to brunch!
Wave to brunch, Maggie.

25
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,942
Oh, look at those abs.
Everyone here has a six-pack

26
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,819
and I'm the only one
with a keg.

27
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,529
Oh, God! Cover up!

28
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,035
(SLINKY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

29
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:13,966
(WHINES)

30
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,760
That's it!
We're out of here!

31
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,810
Four tickets
for Shenani-Goats!

32
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,853
Why is this movie PG-13?

33
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:29,482
"It may contain
brief rudeness,
adult explosions,

34
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,526
"and scenes with
Garry Shandling."

35
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,944
(BOTH SHUDDERING)

36
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,741
These are so easy.
It's obviously Tom Hanks.

37
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,246
Who?

38
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,666
Otm Shank.
He is India's answer
to Brian Dennehy.

39
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,252
Otm Shank.

40
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,760
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

41
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,266
(QUACKING)

42
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:09,939
Uh-oh.

43
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,983
(ALL LAUGHING)

44
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,529
(GROANING)

45
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,621
Come on!
Show the movie!

46
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:26,998
(HOMER MOANS)

47
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,876
NARRATOR: Justin's soccer team
was in last place...

48
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,460
(GRUNTS)

49
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,214
You suck!
No wonder your parents
are getting divorced!

50
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,800
NARRATOR:...until they
dug up a new player.

51
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,596
Ed O'Neill is Soccer Mummy.

52
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,972
(I GOT YOU (I FEEL GOOD)
PLAYING)

53
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,349
I feel good

54
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,896
Go, Soccer Mummy!
You taught me to
believe in myself!

55
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,148
I feel good

56
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,649
(LAUGHING)

57
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,192
(MOANS)

58
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,652
Uh-oh!

59
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,071
The professor said
not to let him get a boner!

60
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,323
(BANDAGES RIPPING)

61
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,244
I'm laughing!

62
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,663
But it's a laugh
of impatience!

63
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,789
Show the movie!

64
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,833
(MOANS)

65
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:16,255
So many previews.
So many previews.
So many previews.

66
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:19,133
ANNOUNCER: And now,
our feature presentation.

67
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,259
(GASPS)

68
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:24,472
MAN: If that's a phrase
you like to hear,
then you'll love Movie Call!

69
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,223
(SCREAMING)

70
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,268
Start the movie!

71
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,772
ALL: Start the movie!
Start the movie!

72
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,690
Start the movie!
Start the...

73
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,067
They're out of control!

74
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,735
Well, if we wanted
to live forever,

75
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,820
we wouldn't
have become ushers.

76
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,540
Stop the madness!
Start the movie!

77
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,043
Maybe we should
try to calm Dad down.

78
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,544
I prefer to egg him on.

79
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,381
Hey, Dad, has
the movie started yet?

80
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,217
(ROARING)

81
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,636
Homer, you're going
to get in trouble.

82
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,346
I'm not scared
of those ushers.

83
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,598
What are they gonna do?
Advance on me?

84
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,644
This ends here!

85
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,404
And so,
for helping to KO
litter in our community,

86
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,907
I hereby dedicate this statue
of Drederick Tatum!

87
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,785
Litter is my most
treacherous foe.

88
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,412
I would like to
eat its children.

89
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,415
So long, suckers!

90
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,002
(GRUNTS)

91
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,461
(GROANS)

92
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,881
My mouth.
My beautiful mouth!

93
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,967
Excellent bout.

94
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,094
Now we go party.
(WAILING)

95
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,182
Homer, you've suffered
a broken jaw.

96
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,851
Broken jaw!

97
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,227
(MOANS)

98
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:54,854
(CHUCKLING)

99
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,106
He won't be able to talk
for quite some time.

100
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,735
I've wired his jaw shut.
It's all explained
in this pamphlet.

101
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,528
(MARGE READING)

102
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,321
Hmm.

103
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:08,034
Oh, dear!
You can't eat solid foods!

104
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,535
Those are his favorites!

105
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,495
(MUFFLED)
I can't eat solid food!

106
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,041
Stop it, Homer!

107
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,834
Oh, don't worry.
On a man his size,

108
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,586
that just provides
sexual release.

109
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,129
(GROWLING)

110
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,382
(MOANING)

111
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,307
(EXCLAIMING IN FRUSTRATION)

112
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:34,810
Uh-oh.

113
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,188
(MOANING)

114
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,734
Hey, Dad,
I'm gonna make
a human yo-yo.

115
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,445
If you object,
clearly say no.

116
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,198
(MUFFLED) No!
No objections, eh?
That's great.

117
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,575
(GRUMBLING ANGRILY)

118
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,578
Milhouse,
you ready to imitate
that Jackass show?

119
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,372
All those disclaimers
made me want to do it more!

120
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:58,751
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

121
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,461
(SINGING)
Oh, yeah!

122
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:07,009
Hey, Duff lovers!
Does anyone in
this bar love Duff?

123
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,511
Hey, it's Duffman!

124
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,721
Newsweek said you died
of liver failure.

125
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:14,266
Duffman can never die!
Only the actors who play him!

126
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:15,768
Oh, yeah!

127
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,938
You must be here for the
Duff Trivia Challenge.

128
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,856
That's right,
local distributor.

129
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,485
One of you could win
a lifetime supply of Duff!

130
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,155
Okay, chug monkeys,

131
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:31,200
"What beverage
brewed since ancient times

132
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,953
"is made from
hops and grains?"

133
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,705
How about ancient
hop grain juice?

134
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,333
Beer! Beer! Beer!

135
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,585
Wait, wait, wait.
Homer's trying to
make a guess.

136
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,295
Beer, beer, beer!

137
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,843
What are you doing?
You're getting some kind
of booze all over me!

138
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,427
(SOBS IN FRUSTRATION)
(BLARING HORN)

139
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:54,181
Time's up!
The answer is beer!

140
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,725
Ooh. Duff luck.

141
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,394
I never would've
figured that out.

142
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,397
That's the kind of thing
you just gotta know.

143
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,065
(SOBBING)

144
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,240
I am not gonna make you
another sparerib smoothie.

145
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:15,035
Most people with
their jaws wired shut
don't gain weight.

146
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,797
"How was your day?"
Do you really want to know?

147
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,840
Uh-huh.

148
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,842
Well, let's see.

149
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:34,471
I was in the kitchen
counting the corncobs
on the curtains,

150
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:38,267
when who should
ring the doorbell
but Ned Flanders.

151
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,271
(CHUCKLING)

152
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,357
It seems he wants to
ban culottes in the schools.

153
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,483
(GRUNTING)

154
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:50,279
Pardon my French,
but sometimes that
man's a goofy-doofy.

155
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,406
HOMER: Marge thinks
Flanders is annoying.

156
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,159
This marriage
just got interesting.

157
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,123
(BABBLING HAPPILY)

158
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,004
HOMER: (CHUCKLES)
She's so cute.

159
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,645
(MUMBLING FRANTICALLY)

160
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:23,812
Ah!

161
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,314
(MUMBLING ENTICINGLY)

162
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,483
(SIGHING IN RELIEF)

163
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,318
(DOOR SLAMS)
Uh-oh.

164
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,529
(GRUNTS)

165
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:37,952
You want to know
what happened?

166
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,746
Really?

167
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,670
We were playing foursquare
and I called no double taps,

168
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,505
and Ralph double taps.

169
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:54,343
And I said, "You're out,"
and he says, "I can do
a summersault,"

170
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,054
which had nothing
to do with anything!

171
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,264
HOMER: Aw!

172
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,558
Maybe a hug
will cork her cry hole.

173
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,978
Thanks for listening, Dad.

174
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,277
We gotta coordinate
on this thing.

175
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,528
Uh-huh.

176
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,447
So the substitute
teacher comes in

177
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,117
and says
her name is Mrs. Doody,

178
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,537
and everyone's
looking at me like,
"Take it, Bart. Run with it."

179
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,748
Then it hits me.
I've become a clown.

180
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:29,295
A class clown.
And it sickens me.

181
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,256
HOMER: Wow,
Bart has feelings.

182
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,924
(LAUGHS)
Mrs. Doody.

183
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:38,262
Three wars back
we called sauerkraut
"liberty cabbage,"

184
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,056
and we called
liberty cabbage "super slaw!"

185
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,935
And back then,
a suitcase was known
as a Swedish lunchbox.

186
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,604
'Course,
nobody knew that but me.

187
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,275
Anyway, "Long story short"

188
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,279
is a phrase whose origins
are complicated and rambling.

189
00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:00,826
You know,
tomorrow is the Annual
Springfield Formal Event.

190
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:05,539
We weren't going to go
after last year's
unpleasantness.

191
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,668
That donkey is such
a bad influence on you.

192
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,421
But breaking your jaw
has made you so sweet.

193
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,714
Maybe we can go.

194
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:14,923
Mmm-hmm.

195
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,927
Mmm. I better polish
those jaw wires
for tomorrow.

196
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,931
(MOANING IN DELIGHT)

197
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,689
(ELEGANT MUSIC PLAYING)

198
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,734
A formal!

199
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,780
The one place
you can wear a tiara
and not look crazy.

200
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,156
Uh-huh!

201
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,950
So, how are we
enjoying the festivities?

202
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:48,248
Yes. The music is
from southern Hungary.

203
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,918
That's quite an ear.
Have some money.

204
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,547
Your husband is
quite the gentleman.

205
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,758
Most people laugh
at my googly eye.

206
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,096
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)

207
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,726
Well, I've never
seen a man

208
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,020
politely pass up
so many hors d'oeuvres.

209
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,650
My husband,
Maxtone Witherball,
has already had three shrimp!

210
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,236
Someone's done
her henpecking.

211
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,657
You two are quite the couple.
You must dine with us
at Toad Hall.

212
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,992
Thank you.

213
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,286
(THE BLUE DANUBE PLAYING)

214
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,842
This has been
one of the most magical
evenings of my life.

215
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,469
(MUFFLED) I'm horny.

216
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,266
I don't know what you said,
but I'm sure it
was beautiful.

217
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,310
Oh, Homer. This is
the kind of night

218
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,688
I thought we could
never have together.

219
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,523
Incident-free.

220
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,698
Mmm-mmm.

221
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,491
(WHIMPERS
IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

222
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,958
Oh, Homer,
drop by my office tomorrow

223
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,294
and I can remove
those jaw wires.

224
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:18,046
You'll be just the way
you used to be.

225
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,590
(GASPS)

226
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,887
And Reverend,
I'll put in those
pec implants on Thursday.

227
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,513
Super.

228
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,478
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

229
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,939
(EXCLAIMS) Homer,
your breath smells terrible.

230
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,817
I'll have to
take off my shoes
to cover the odor.

231
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,277
Nicely done.

232
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,530
And when I couldn't talk,
I learned to listen.

233
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,074
I learned so much
about my family.

234
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,993
You'd be surprised
how much you hear

235
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,703
if you just listen
once in awhile.

236
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,580
Really? Let's try it.

237
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:55,459
MOE: Hello?
Yeah. I'd like to arrange
for an escort, please.

238
00:13:56,419 --> 00:14:01,423
To where?
How about Orgasmville!
You... Hello? Hello?

239
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,176
Oh! Hey.
How you doing?

240
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,594
I was just
telling all the guys

241
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,180
how losing
the power of speech
made me a better man.

242
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,806
I couldn't agree more.

243
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,184
You're today's modern,
enlightened man,

244
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,727
the kind
we television producers

245
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,771
have been booking
since the mid '70s.

246
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,189
Hey, what are you
doing in here?

247
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,607
I'm an alcoholic.

248
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,776
Homer, will you appear
on my show?

249
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,528
Sure thing, alky.

250
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,407
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to Afternoon Yak.

251
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:32,746
Today we will meet a man
who couldn't open his mouth,

252
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,165
so he learned to
open his heart.

253
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,126
Please welcome
Homer and Marge Simpson.

254
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,257
So, Marge, tell.

255
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,885
What's it like
kissing a man with
a mouth full of metal?

256
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,471
My boyfriend has
a metal tongue stud.

257
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,723
Who cares
what's on his tongue,

258
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,934
as long as he's
a stud where it counts!

259
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,270
I'm talking downtown!

260
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,813
(ALL CHEERING)

261
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,149
Marge,
what was Homer like
before he broke his jaw?

262
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,319
Well, he would eat
all the time.

263
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,529
We'd be making love

264
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,865
and he'd have a mouth full
of Hershey's Miniatures.

265
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,617
Krackel was my favorite.

266
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,829
I hope that was
the only miniature
in the bedroom.

267
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,789
I'm talking downtown!

268
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,499
(ALL LAUGHING)

269
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,669
And before
he broke his jaw
he never listened,

270
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,672
but now he takes to heart
everything I say.

271
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:24,965
(CHEERING)

272
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,758
Well, as much
as humanly possible.

273
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,093
(BOOING)

274
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,846
Well, Marge told us
when you didn't listen,

275
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,599
it led to weckless,
criminal behavior.

276
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,143
He did such crazy things.
Roll the clip.

277
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,062
Ostrich burgers!
Get your ostrich burgers!

278
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,314
I'll take one.

279
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,566
Okay. You pick one out
and I'll punch it to death.

280
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,692
Hmm.

281
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,321
Hey there,
little sweet...

282
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,490
(CHOKING)

283
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,867
(GRUNTING)

284
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,619
Dude, I thought
we were friends!

285
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,788
Well, I'm not proud
of that clip.

286
00:15:56,873 --> 00:16:01,335
Homela, it's easy to change,
but what's hard is
not changing back.

287
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,797
Do you promise not to
revive your weckless,
weckless ways?

288
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,801
I don't know.
The Demolition Derby
is next month.

289
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:14,139
Please, Homie?
No more craziness?
For me?

290
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,893
Well, okay.
For you, I'll be
as dull as Dilbert.

291
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:22,356
Very good. Our next topic,
"My Son Still Wets the Bed."

292
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,068
You told me we were
going to Red Lobster!

293
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:34,534
Hmm. All clean,
just the way I left it.

294
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,119
HOMER: I'm gonna kill you!

295
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,538
Well, so much for
the new Homer.

296
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,625
What's going on?

297
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,251
We're rehearsing a play.

298
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:47,339
Yes, and I was
merely reading the title,
I'm Gonna Kill You.

299
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,509
Oh. It's just
a false alarm.

300
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:53,387
Yep. Nothing to get
excited about.

301
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,431
Well, I'll be in the kitchen
if you need me.

302
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,018
Professor Van Doran,
so good to see you.

303
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,063
Ah. Rehearsing
a play, I see.

304
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:10,278
This place is so dull.
The 911 button is
covered with dust.

305
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,531
I just poured myself
a new glass of milk.

306
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,616
The old one sat out
for a little while.

307
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,701
Are you coming to bed?

308
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,160
It's 7:30.

309
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,955
Marge, I could stand here
and argue with you,

310
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,959
but then I'd have to get
a new glass of milk.
Good night, honey.

311
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,336
Boy, things are
going really good.

312
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,922
Good, good, good, good,
good, good, good!

313
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,465
Hmm.

314
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,468
Look at that freckle.
I should dig that out.

315
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,470
(GRUNTING)

316
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,682
Good. Good.
That feels good.

317
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:43,979
(SIGHS)

318
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,232
MARGE: This place
is so boring!

319
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,235
If somebody doesn't do
something interesting,

320
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,696
I'm gonna have to!
But what?

321
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,912
The Demolition Derby?

322
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,582
Oh, that'll scratch my itch.

323
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:10,338
Marge? Marge is gone!
But at least the Demolition
Derby form is...

324
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,383
What? No!

325
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,970
(TIRES SCREECHING)

326
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,896
Ooh, listen to
all that revving!

327
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,273
ANNOUNCER: Drivers,
start your engines!

328
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,483
(REVVING)

329
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,696
Vendors,
start your gouging!

330
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,948
MAN: I'll pay anything!

331
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,409
ANNOUNCER: And now,
smashie-smashie!

332
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,622
(TOOTING HORN)

333
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,540
Looking good, Mrs. S.

334
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,754
Uh-oh. Come on, old girl.
Show them what you got.

335
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:53,715
Whoa!

336
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,013
Catch you later, radiator!

337
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:04,392
Oh, my God. I hit someone.
Then I taunted him.

338
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,436
I've never felt more alive!

339
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:07,729
(CHUCKLES)

340
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,357
(EXCLAIMS)

341
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,902
What was I thinking
trying to feel alive?
Forget that!

342
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:21,201
Don't hurt me!
I'm not like you people!
I'm loved!

343
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,661
(GRUNTS)

344
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,122
I caught a head!

345
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,084
Oh, dang!
It's been scooped out.

346
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,758
Go around! Go around!

347
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,513
There she is!

348
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,517
Dad, you've gotta
do something!

349
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,019
But bold moves are
no longer my forte.

350
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,063
She could get hurt!

351
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,190
What do I do?
What do I do?

352
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,317
Wait, I know.
Beer here!

353
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,402
Sure, sonny.

354
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,655
(POPEYE THEME PLAYING)

355
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,785
(EXCLAIMS TRIUMPHANTLY)

356
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,875
(IMITATING POPEYE)
This beer's deliskous.
I'm gonna saves me wife.

357
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,210
Now, let's get this show
on the road.

358
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,339
So many dings.

359
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,135
HOMER: Quit banging my wife!

360
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,970
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

361
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,472
ANNOUNCER: A man
on a donkey!

362
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,516
Never in my six
weeks on the job

363
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,476
have I seen
the likes of this.

364
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,397
(MUSIC SLOWING DOWN)

365
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,815
(WHEEZING)

366
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:38,695
(IMITATING POPEYE) Looks like
I needs some fuel for me mule.
Gas for me ass.

367
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,238
(IMITATING POPEYE CHUCKLING)

368
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,907
(POPEYE THEME PLAYING)

369
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,452
(GRUNTS EXCITEDLY)

370
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,078
(SNORING)

371
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,374
Looks like a little angel.
Now to save me Marge!

372
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,337
Homer, save me! Save me!

373
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,340
(GRUNTS)

374
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,014
He saved her!
Isn't it great to have
the old Dad back?

375
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,683
I thought you
liked the new Dad.
Whatever.

376
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:16,775
This family
needs a live wire,
but it's just not me.

377
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:20,403
That's okay, Marge.
You're a good wet blanket.

378
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,739
The kind I like
wrapped around me.

379
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,949
Aw!

380
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,453
ANNOUNCER 1: When
Homer's jaw was crushed,
crushed, crushed,

381
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,247
his life took
a nitro-burning funny turn!

382
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:34,376
ANNOUNCER 2: Oh, yeah!
It's important to
grow, grow, grow,

383
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,254
but if you take it
to the max, max, max,
it's gonna get ugly!

384
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,798
ANNOUNCER 1: In the mud!

385
00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:34,394
English - US - PSDH