1 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,836 We now return to The Planet from Outer Space. 2 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,846 Captain, we've been attacked by some sort of force ray. 3 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,933 Space air is flooding in. 4 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,145 Right. Goggles on! 5 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:02,663 Good Lord! We're on a collision course with a monster from space! 6 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,254 That's just a dog in a spacesuit! 7 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,715 From the looks of it, a male dog. 8 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,761 We'll return to our film after these very loud messages. 9 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,932 Hi. I'm Colonel Chet Manners, five-time space shuttle alternate. 10 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,141 Loser. 11 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,644 Do you want to boldly go where people like me, 12 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,146 but not me, have gone before? 13 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:31,275 Then get the Orbit King, with yaw control like you've never seen. 14 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:38,324 Hey, Lise, is Dad's credit card number 5784365343410709? 15 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,909 You know it is. 16 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,457 When you have a rib-eye steak You must floss it 17 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,292 Oh, that meatloaf tasted great 18 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,502 You must floss it 19 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,838 Now floss it, floss it good 20 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,048 Hey, Dad, will you help me build this model rocket? 21 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,552 Just a second, Son. I gotta put on my contacts. 22 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:08,104 I didn't know your dad was so interested in science. 23 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,522 Science? 24 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,982 He didn't say "science. " 25 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,150 He said "pie pants. " 26 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,237 Mmm. Pie pants. 27 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,161 This is launch master Homer counting down, 28 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,789 five, four, three... 29 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,131 My eyebrows! My beautiful eyebrows! 30 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,466 Over here, guvnor. 31 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:44,015 The word "unblowupable" is thrown around a lot these days, 32 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,475 but I think I can say with confidence... 33 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,939 Okay, that shows you what could potentially happen. 34 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,027 What was that? 35 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:59,739 Greetings from Neddedy Space Center on Cape Flandaveral. 36 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,534 We noticed your "sky-rotechnics" and thought we'd join in. 37 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,411 Ooh, looks like a perfect landing. 38 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,460 Wow! Did you see that yaw control? 39 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,545 I have eyes, don't I? 40 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,012 I would really like to thank you nerds for helping me out. 41 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,765 And could you stop calling us "nerds"? 42 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,517 "Dweeb," "wonk," "spaz. " It's all good. 43 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,103 Who wants some astro-lemonade? 44 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,189 What precisely makes it astro? 45 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,567 Look, I don't want to start a whole thing with this. 46 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,654 Okay, the rocket's ready to go. 47 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,952 Super. Now if you'll gather round, I'd like to say a few words. 48 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,371 All nerds clear the launch area! 49 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,081 Let's wait in the car. 50 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,958 Now, all we need is our astronaut. 51 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,961 Bart, where's America's newest hero? 52 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,379 He's saying goodbye to his wife. 53 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,176 He's leaving her with five babies. 54 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,220 She already ate three. 55 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,930 That's sensible. 56 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:28,202 Son, we are about to break the surly bonds of gravity 57 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:31,038 and punch the face of God! 58 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,961 Five, four, three, two, one, 59 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,462 countdown! 60 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:08,284 Wow! That's it. I'm off the hooch. 61 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,537 Hey, wine! 62 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,129 Dad, the rocket's off course! 63 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,673 Okay, Nibbles. You can guide her down. 64 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,468 "Step one, right in front of you is a blue handle. 65 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:29,138 "Pull for a controlled burn of 2.4 seconds. " 66 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,858 Now it's heading for the church! 67 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,277 Don't worry. I planned for this. 68 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,587 This is the worst thing you've ever done! 69 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,757 You say that so much, it's lost all meaning. 70 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:15,226 I have convened the church council to see what we should do now. 71 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,062 Fixing this church should be our top priority. 72 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,440 And I say that as a teenager, and the parent of a teenager. 73 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,360 Fixing all that damage is gonna be very expensive. 74 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,446 Yes, barring some sort of miracle... 75 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,494 All right! We'll help ourselves, yet again. 76 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,788 People, we need some fundraising ideas. 77 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,832 Let's just write to David Bowie again. 78 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:41,168 No, he's done enough for this church. Anyone else? 79 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,422 I've got the answer. 80 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,467 Just let me run this church like a business. 81 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,136 It's kind of you to offer, Mr. Burns, 82 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,305 but the buzz around town is that you're, well, evil. 83 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,724 That's just a skip-rope rhyme. 84 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,978 Believe me, the Lord's gonna go for this in a big way. 85 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,896 Now, who's with me? 86 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,941 I guess we have no choice. 87 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,317 Excellent. 88 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,530 You'll get yours. 89 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,116 This is Lindsay Naegle. 90 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,326 And don't let the skirt fool you. 91 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,871 She'll have this place making money in no time. 92 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,248 Isn't that skirt a little north of the knee? 93 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,000 You're telling me. 94 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:24,003 I guarantee I can find some new revenue streams. 95 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,505 Step one, let's sell some ad space. 96 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,425 Reverend, how would you feel about wearing this robe? 97 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,178 Conflicted. 98 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,139 Too bad! You've already signed the deal! 99 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,599 Actually, he hasn't. 100 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,144 Well, we highly value your input, 101 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,897 until you sign the deal. 102 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,523 Let me handle this, Monty. 103 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:45,691 Good idea. 104 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,568 I'll be hiding behind that tree. 105 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,661 What are they doing to the church? 106 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,954 We're re-branding it. 107 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,998 The old church was skewing pious. 108 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,292 We prefer a faith-based emporium, 109 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,502 teeming with impulse-buy items. 110 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,296 I feel like I want to throw up. 111 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,881 Then my work is done. 112 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,052 Why does Jesus have a lasso? 113 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,845 Because he's all man. 114 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,941 Money changed. 115 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,944 Get your money changed, right here in the temple! 116 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,113 That could not be more blasphemous. 117 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,324 Where's Bart? 118 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,250 Do a nice one for Grandma. 119 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,626 Fine. 120 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,006 These new pews are so comfy. 121 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,176 I am not going to be taken in by all of this. 122 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,845 Lisa, don't sulk. 123 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,514 You're on the JumboTron. 124 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,477 Adorable. 125 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:07,022 And Lord, please remember our infirm parishioners, 126 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:11,568 especially Mrs. Glick, who's recovering from hip surgery. 127 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,364 And now, let us rise and... Um... 128 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,491 Um... 129 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,951 He's not gonna say it. 130 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,538 Trust me. He'll say it, or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers. 131 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,790 ...and thank Crazy Larry 132 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,544 whose big-screen TV prices are insane! 133 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,132 And now, to deliver a special sermon 134 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:37,011 on the sanctity of deliciousness, the Noid. 135 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,182 That's it! 136 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:47,521 Quiet, Lisa. Everyone in the store is looking at you. 137 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,648 They should take a good look at themselves 138 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,567 and what their church has become! 139 00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,903 Lisa, it's still the same basic message. 140 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,822 We've just dressed it up a little. 141 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,741 Like the Whore of Babylon? 142 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,951 That is a false analogy. 143 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,495 No, it's not. It's apt. Apt! 144 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,875 Don't you see what Mr. Burns has done to this church? 145 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,003 He restored it from nave to narthex! 146 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,381 He super-sized the pews for the zaftig believers. 147 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,216 He put ice in the urinals. 148 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,010 Those are all wonderful things, 149 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,179 but they've cost the church its soul. 150 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,057 And I, for one, will not be a part of it! 151 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,355 Do you want your hand stamped so you can come back in? 152 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,274 No! I'm leaving this church forever! 153 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,112 Oh, no! 154 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,822 I don't know how to feel. 155 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,824 You should be very upset. 156 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,159 Got it. 157 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,413 How is that? A little much. 158 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,506 Lord, I'm not turning my back on you. 159 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:59,218 I just need to find a temple that's free of corruption. 160 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:03,263 Why do you have to be so different? 161 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:08,143 Always making a big deal out of everything? 162 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,524 Mom, I know it's you. 163 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,860 I can't believe you're eavesdropping on my prayers. 164 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,738 Honey, I'm worried about your soul. 165 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:24,201 I want at least one person from this family to go to heaven. 166 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,911 I still believe in God. 167 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,872 I just think there's another path to him or her. 168 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,124 Her? 169 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,168 She's just kidding, Mr. Lord. 170 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,758 Still looking for a new faith? Yeah. 171 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,928 Hey, how about one of those religions where you eat a human heart? 172 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,012 No. 173 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,180 How about Methodist? 174 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,432 No! 175 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,935 Look, I'm not just gonna pick a religion that seems cool. 176 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,271 I'm gonna pick one that's right for me. 177 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:55,357 How about Judaism? When you turn 13, cha-ching! 178 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,443 I'm going out for a walk. 179 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,633 Lenny and Carl? You guys are Buddhists? 180 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,427 Yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, 181 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,638 I'd completely go psycho on all you guys all the time. 182 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,474 Well, I'm looking for a new faith, 183 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,726 one that isn't so materialistic. 184 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,061 Well, you've come to the right place. 185 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,107 Buddhism teaches that suffering is caused by desire. 186 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,693 Richard Gere? 187 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,237 The world's most famous Buddhist. 188 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,698 What about the Dalai Lama? Who? 189 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,658 You know, the 14th reincarnation 190 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,785 of the Buddha Avalokiteshvara. 191 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,912 Who's Buddha? 192 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,122 It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, 193 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,999 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass. 194 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,169 Mr. Gere, I was hoping Buddhism could bring me inner peace. 195 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,754 Or is that just a pipe dream? 196 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,174 We all have dreams. Mine is of a free Tibet. 197 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,592 That would be so great. 198 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,302 I dream about meatball sandwiches, 199 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,095 all-you-can-eat for two bucks. 200 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,180 Good luck. 201 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,557 This pamphlet contains the teachings of the Buddha. 202 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:14,269 "All things are impermanent, and are empty of inherent existence. " 203 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,980 Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, 204 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,732 did you really do all those sit-ups? 205 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:22,027 I wish. I did one, and they just showed it 1,000 times. 206 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,949 "Nirvana is achieved through right views and right speech. 207 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,992 "Positive actions lead to happiness 208 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,995 "and negative actions lead to unhappiness. 209 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,791 "No creator gods, just the pursuit of enlightenment. " 210 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,377 I'm a Buddhist! 211 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,713 Hey, I'm a Buddhist! 212 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,633 My Satan-sense is tingling. 213 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,593 Into the root cellar, boys! 214 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,220 When can we come out? 215 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,680 Maybe never. 216 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,348 Yay! Yay! 217 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,356 So, you think you know better than this family, huh? 218 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,525 Well, as long as you're in my house, 219 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,319 you'll do what I do and believe what I believe. 220 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,113 So, butter your bacon! 221 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,614 Yes, Father. 222 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:14,246 Mom, Dad, my spiritual quest is over. 223 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,249 Hold that thought. Bacon up that sausage, boy. 224 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,626 But, Dad, my heart hurts. 225 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,800 I'm a Buddhist. 226 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,926 What? 227 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,429 That's it. No more chat rooms for you! 228 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,055 You know, Lisa, 229 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,724 around here, Buddhists don't get 230 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,767 any desserts in their lunches. 231 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,769 A Buddhist wouldn't want any. 232 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:45,652 Hey, Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity. 233 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,778 Who cares? 234 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,822 I'll tell you someone who cares. 235 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,617 He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, 236 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,162 has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood. 237 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,040 His name's Gunnar, and he's dating my mom. 238 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,000 Sometimes, he buys us beer. 239 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,044 I thought Kearney was dating your mom. 240 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,129 Hey, she came on to me! 241 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,631 Get him! 242 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,848 Hey, Lisa. What are you doing? 243 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,933 I'm planting my own Bodhi Tree. 244 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:20,562 If I meditate under it, perhaps I can find inner peace. 245 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,775 Honey, is this about some boy at school who doesn't like you? 246 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:25,817 No! 247 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:26,985 Good! 248 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,988 I'm just saying that any boy who doesn't like you 249 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,740 is not worth your time. 250 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,581 You're gonna get a bath tonight! 251 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:47,881 So, the good news is church revenues are up 1,073%. 252 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:51,218 And when will the church see any of this money? 253 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:53,637 When hell freezes over, suckers! 254 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,270 Whatever. Just take it. 255 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:09,069 Well, next on our agenda, Marge Simpson's devil daughter. 256 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:13,156 She's not a devil. I just don't know what to do. 257 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,283 Well, Christmas is coming, huh? 258 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:19,121 Yeah. And Santa doesn't leave presents under the Bodhi Tree. 259 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,873 You think we can bribe her back with Christmas? 260 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,583 Marge, you can save more souls 261 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,544 with roller skates and Easy-Bake Ovens 262 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,630 than with this 2,000-page sleeping pill. 263 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,593 Time to begin 264 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:37,806 Operation X-Mas Remind of How Good Is. 265 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,268 Just do it! Do it! Do it now! 266 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,396 I think this tree could use an angel. 267 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,690 Well, at least it's tasteful. 268 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,908 I was just making Christmas cookies. 269 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,161 But since you don't believe in Christmas anymore, 270 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,746 I guess you don't want any. 271 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,123 Well, they do smell good. 272 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,333 It's a pity. 273 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,503 All right! Trash cookies! 274 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,882 Uh-oh. 275 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,550 I think I ate a dog food lid. 276 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,058 Here she comes! 277 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,352 And a-one, and a-two, and a... 278 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,107 We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas 279 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,609 We wish... We wish... 280 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,277 Hello, Lisa. 281 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:35,030 I just came down for a glass of water. 282 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,492 Well, you do have a present under the tree. 283 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,495 I guess no one told Santa you were a Buddhist. 284 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:45,957 Well, Santa can take it back because I'm not ruled by material... 285 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,710 Is that a pony? 286 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:52,339 I don't know what Santa left you. 287 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,967 I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar. 288 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,344 Lisa, we love you, 289 00:18:57,428 --> 00:19:00,972 and we're not trying to put any pressure on you. 290 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,897 Aw. 291 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,027 Lick it. Lick it. 292 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,154 No! 293 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:22,285 Oh, no! Our daughter's run away on Christmas Eve! 294 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,997 More sugar, please. 295 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,165 Bag's in the kitchen. 296 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,542 All right! 297 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,425 My family tried to trick me into celebrating Christmas. 298 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,511 You know, we are meditating. 299 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,682 Oh. Sorry. That's all right. 300 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,519 I was only about to achieve enlightenment. But who'd want that? 301 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,855 Who likes short-shorts? 302 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,190 I like short-shorts. 303 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,317 Those guys are way off. 304 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,945 Anyway, your family didn't have to trick you. 305 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,573 Buddhists respect the diversity of other religions 306 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,741 as long as they're based on love and compassion. 307 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,703 It's true. So, why don't you go home? 308 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,454 I'm sure your family really misses you. 309 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,874 I can really celebrate Christmas? 310 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,542 You can celebrate any holiday. 311 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,211 And, you know, my birthday is August 31. 312 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,422 Oh. I'll send you an e-mail greeting card. 313 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,548 Sweet. 314 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,800 Now I really should be getting back to my family. 315 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,052 Yeah. I'm spending tonight with my step-daughter, Hannah. 316 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,013 I do her hair, then she does mine. 317 00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,181 We're gonna go spend Christmas with Moe, 318 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,809 you know, so he don't have one of his Christmas "accidents. " 319 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,478 Hey, he can't do much without this. 320 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,441 I did it! I found our dog! 321 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:36,651 Now our Christmas is complete! 322 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,029 We were looking for Lisa! 323 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,323 I thought we were caroling. 324 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,450 We better call the police. 325 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,370 Lisa? 326 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,165 You came back! 327 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,001 Yeah. 328 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,670 I wanted to spend Christmas with you guys. 329 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,505 So, you're back on the winning team? 330 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,257 No, I'm still Buddhist. 331 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,676 But I can worship with my family, too. 332 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,763 So, you're just going to pay lip service to our church? 333 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:05,889 Uh-huh. 334 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,099 That's all I ever asked. 335 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,644 Well, I'm just glad you're back. 336 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:16,107 And don't worry, honey. I'll pray double hard for both of us. 337 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:19,027 Now let's get you some Christmas cookies. 338 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,570 Thanks, Mom. 339 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:23,907 Hey, where's my pony? 340 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,369 Yes! Merry Christmas to us all! 341 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,163 I'm serious. Make with the pony. 342 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:33,458 And a happy and healthy New Year! 343 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,877 Here, Clip-Clop! Here, pony-pony! 344 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,046 Happy, happy New Year!