1 00:00:02,150 --> 00:00:04,484 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:33,148 --> 00:00:34,647 D'oh! 3 00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:45,058 What? What?! 4 00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:46,326 Hey! 5 00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:48,561 Up your... Oh, sorry. 6 00:00:48,596 --> 00:00:50,463 Yes, sir. 7 00:00:50,498 --> 00:00:52,031 Who are these guys? 8 00:00:53,034 --> 00:00:54,634 Meh? 9 00:00:58,173 --> 00:01:00,073 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 10 00:01:01,376 --> 00:01:03,142 Sir, please, don't do this! 11 00:01:03,178 --> 00:01:05,778 Oh, stop your Smithering. 12 00:01:10,574 --> 00:01:14,574 ♪ The Simpsons 27x17 ♪ The Burns Cage Original Air Date on April 3, 2016 13 00:01:14,598 --> 00:01:21,098 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 14 00:01:23,465 --> 00:01:24,831 That was easy. 15 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,445 I did it. 16 00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:41,881 All by myself. 17 00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,851 Oh, Smithers, do you always have to be underfoot? 18 00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:45,852 Sorry, sir. 19 00:01:45,887 --> 00:01:47,020 If there were a less spectacular 20 00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:48,021 way to save your life, I... 21 00:01:48,056 --> 00:01:49,155 I should've found it. 22 00:01:50,959 --> 00:01:52,592 ♪ You see ♪ 23 00:01:52,627 --> 00:01:55,995 ♪ This guy ♪ 24 00:01:56,031 --> 00:01:59,565 ♪ This guy's in love with you... ♪ 25 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,536 Mr. Burns, coming down, I... 26 00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:05,071 I thought we weren't gonna make it, 27 00:02:05,106 --> 00:02:07,006 and I thought I'd never get to say something 28 00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:08,441 I've always wanted to. 29 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,843 The truth is, sir, I'm in love with... 30 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:11,878 The sound of your own voice? 31 00:02:11,913 --> 00:02:13,346 Yes, well, no dogwood I, 32 00:02:13,381 --> 00:02:15,848 listening to the nightingale trill her unending tune. 33 00:02:15,884 --> 00:02:18,317 Don't take this the wrong way, but you mean nothing to me. 34 00:02:18,353 --> 00:02:20,219 Someone I give less thought to than the little piece 35 00:02:20,255 --> 00:02:21,521 of popcorn stuck in my tooth. 36 00:02:21,556 --> 00:02:22,556 Ooh, can you remove it? 37 00:02:24,259 --> 00:02:26,225 I'll see you back at the office. Don't be late. 38 00:02:31,966 --> 00:02:34,934 ♪ I've lived ♪ 39 00:02:34,969 --> 00:02:37,637 ♪ Half of my life ♪ 40 00:02:37,672 --> 00:02:41,074 ♪ Living half of a life ♪ 41 00:02:41,109 --> 00:02:46,412 ♪ Waiting for U-234 ♪ 42 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:48,581 ♪ Can't you see the fire ♪ 43 00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:54,020 ♪ Burning in my core? ♪ 44 00:02:54,055 --> 00:02:57,423 ♪ Is there a half life for hope? ♪ 45 00:02:57,459 --> 00:03:00,393 ♪ I know the answer is, "Nope" ♪ 46 00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:03,396 ♪ I've failed at my mission ♪ 47 00:03:03,431 --> 00:03:06,232 ♪ No fusion, just fission ♪ 48 00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:09,135 ♪ And now I'm here wishin' ♪ 49 00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:11,838 ♪ To be ♪ 50 00:03:11,873 --> 00:03:14,607 ♪ Decommissioned ♪ 51 00:03:14,642 --> 00:03:17,844 ♪ Have you ever felt down? ♪ 52 00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:21,147 ♪ Much worse than a meltdown ♪ 53 00:03:21,182 --> 00:03:24,250 ♪ My heart is covered in ♪ 54 00:03:24,285 --> 00:03:28,454 ♪ Burns ♪ 55 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,926 Larry, Moe and Curly, get out here now! 56 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,831 So, you like fun and games? 57 00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:55,034 Well, games can be fun, so, uh, that's kind of redundant. 58 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,569 Would you like to rethink the question? 59 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:57,970 Here's a game for you-- 60 00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,572 properly stack and store those rods 61 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:00,906 then perform a complete turbine 62 00:04:00,942 --> 00:04:02,041 maintenance procedure. 63 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,042 Routine maintenance? 64 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,310 We never do that. 65 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,111 Lots of us never get to do things. 66 00:04:06,147 --> 00:04:07,112 Yeah, we know. 67 00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,148 We heard your song. 68 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,989 Jacqueline Jones, reading for the part of Ilsa. 69 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,024 Oh, I like this one. 70 00:04:18,059 --> 00:04:19,391 A cool girl. 71 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,126 Plus her father owns a print shop. 72 00:04:21,162 --> 00:04:22,127 Free playbills. 73 00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:23,195 Four color. 74 00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:25,130 Yeah, yeah, smart. Yes. 75 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:27,399 I can't fight it anymore. 76 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,902 I ran away from you once. 77 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,004 I can't do it again. 78 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,205 Strange choices. 79 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:34,740 Maybe that scrunchie's too tight. 80 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,308 Well, you can teach acting. 81 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,910 You can't teach popular. 82 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,178 We've got our Ilsa. 83 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,080 Are you sure? Even by school play standards, 84 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,181 she's terrible. 85 00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,216 Skinner, I'm setting down my clipboard 86 00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:46,185 to signify that all future auditions 87 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,786 are just a formality. 88 00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:51,123 Lisa Simpson, reading for the part of Ilsa. 89 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,424 The egghead? 90 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,360 Pass. Hard pass. 91 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,995 Can I tell you a story? 92 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:58,364 It's about a girl who came to Paris and met a man, 93 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,699 a very great and courageous man. 94 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,067 She's good. 95 00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:04,403 Yes, better than Little Miss Print shop... 96 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,005 and there you are. 97 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,841 Guess what, you've just been promoted a grade. 98 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:11,677 Everything she knew or ever became 99 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:12,978 was because of him, 100 00:05:13,014 --> 00:05:14,980 and she looked up to him and worshipped him 101 00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:17,583 with a feeling she supposed was love. 102 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,490 That's it! 103 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,991 I'll audition for Rick. 104 00:05:26,027 --> 00:05:28,227 Co-stars are always falling in love: 105 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,963 Brad and Angelina, Kermit and Miss Piggy, 106 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,365 Mrs. Brady and Greg. 107 00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:37,603 The role of Ilsa goes to Lisa. 108 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,038 Yes! 109 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,340 The role I was anagrammed to play. 110 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,541 And since only one child 111 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,543 auditioned for the lead role... 112 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,980 I am proud to announce Rick will be played by... 113 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,149 I'm looking for a down-on-his-luck heel 114 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,450 named Skinner. 115 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,890 Who are you? 116 00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,291 Name's Jack Deforest, 117 00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:00,993 and of all the schools in all the districts, 118 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,429 I had to get transferred to this one. 119 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,232 You've got the part. 120 00:06:07,268 --> 00:06:09,068 Well, that fills out the cast. 121 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,803 Milhouse, you're the understudy. 122 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:11,937 Understudy? 123 00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:14,640 Both those words are horrible. 124 00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,278 Hey guys, my, uh, head's a little wet 125 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,080 from the decontamination shower. 126 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:24,984 Thanks. De nada. 127 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,854 Let's see how that thing's working. 128 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,894 Not again! 129 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,767 Bring it back, get it working, 130 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,168 screw it on tight. 131 00:06:43,204 --> 00:06:44,303 Both screws? 132 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,771 Yes. 133 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,406 He's chewing our ass 'cause he's unhappy. 134 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,774 What are we gonna do here? 135 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,042 I know the answer. 136 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,511 We have got to get that guy a woman. 137 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,748 A woman who can find him a man. 138 00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:00,603 Okay, guys, to get Smithers off our backs, 139 00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:02,572 I'm gonna find him a boyfriend 140 00:07:02,607 --> 00:07:04,307 on this. 141 00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,176 Homer, I'm a long-haul trucker, 142 00:07:06,211 --> 00:07:08,945 who's home-straight and highway-gay, 143 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,281 but, uh, how do you know about Grinder? 144 00:07:11,316 --> 00:07:12,782 My wife put me on to it. 145 00:07:12,817 --> 00:07:14,984 I was looking for an app for pepper grinders, 146 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,219 and I found this. 147 00:07:16,254 --> 00:07:18,354 Uh, doesn't Smithers dig Burns? 148 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,590 Yeah, but Burns doesn't want Smithers. 149 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:23,826 Isn't it sad, Marge, when somebody really, 150 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:27,130 really, really, really wants somebody, 151 00:07:27,165 --> 00:07:28,998 and they're sitting across the bar from you 152 00:07:29,034 --> 00:07:30,300 married to Homer? 153 00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:32,869 Moe, this is why I don't come here much. 154 00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:34,103 Oh, yeah, you're right, Marge. 155 00:07:34,139 --> 00:07:36,406 Hey, uh, I'm sorry. 156 00:07:38,843 --> 00:07:39,976 Oh, yeah. 157 00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:44,647 Can we just find a boyfriend for Smithers? 158 00:07:44,683 --> 00:07:47,250 Finally, a use for the Internet. 159 00:07:47,285 --> 00:07:49,118 Hmm, no. 160 00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:50,119 No. 161 00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:51,120 Too smoldering. 162 00:07:51,156 --> 00:07:52,188 Too lumberjack. 163 00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:53,690 Too "look how fun I am." 164 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,124 George Takei? 165 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,828 Click me and we will boldly go to Yogurtland, 166 00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:02,599 but be warned: I don't care for people who cling on. 167 00:08:04,703 --> 00:08:06,603 Hey, why am I on this? 168 00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:08,104 Well, only one way to find out. 169 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,606 Swipe. 170 00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:12,609 Maybe we should just invite them all to a party 171 00:08:12,644 --> 00:08:14,677 and see who Mr. Smithers likes. 172 00:08:14,713 --> 00:08:16,179 Good idea. 173 00:08:16,214 --> 00:08:19,249 Did somebody here swipe me? 174 00:08:19,284 --> 00:08:20,383 Here's five bucks. 175 00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:21,751 Visit my Dad. Say you're me. 176 00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:24,420 Finally, I'm paid to act. 177 00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:27,190 Tell you what, 178 00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:29,092 if you buy a half-page ad in the program, 179 00:08:29,127 --> 00:08:32,629 Sam plays "As Time Goes By" with Hulk hands. 180 00:08:32,664 --> 00:08:34,063 You have a deal. 181 00:08:36,668 --> 00:08:39,135 I'm glad someone's getting something from this play. 182 00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:42,639 As an understudy, all I get is to watch 183 00:08:42,674 --> 00:08:44,841 Lisa and Jack fall in love. 184 00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:47,343 Oh, you're still here. 185 00:08:49,147 --> 00:08:51,814 Look, Milhouse, if anything happens 186 00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:54,050 to that kid playing Rick... 187 00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,285 you get the part. 188 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,053 If you catch my drift. 189 00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,821 You know I can't catch. 190 00:09:00,859 --> 00:09:03,259 Don't judge me. 191 00:09:04,729 --> 00:09:06,129 Jack, you're amazing. 192 00:09:06,164 --> 00:09:08,665 You're blowing away everyone else in the play. 193 00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:13,870 You despise me, don't you? 194 00:09:13,905 --> 00:09:15,772 If I gave you any thought, 195 00:09:15,807 --> 00:09:17,940 I probably would. 196 00:09:17,976 --> 00:09:19,742 I'll be in my trailer. 197 00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:22,679 This isn't Fiji water. 198 00:09:22,714 --> 00:09:26,649 Yo, dingus, someone doesn't want you in that play. 199 00:09:26,685 --> 00:09:29,252 Who let you three gorillas out of the zoo? 200 00:09:30,288 --> 00:09:31,254 Gorillas. 201 00:09:31,289 --> 00:09:33,523 It's not funny. 202 00:09:34,726 --> 00:09:35,858 How'd you get the bullies 203 00:09:35,894 --> 00:09:37,327 to take out Jack? 204 00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:38,995 The most powerful bribe in the world: 205 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:41,931 a free full-page ad in the play program. 206 00:09:43,802 --> 00:09:46,269 It's a funny thing about fists, everyone gets them, 207 00:09:46,304 --> 00:09:48,971 but not everyone gets the instruction manual. 208 00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:53,309 Oh, no, his mouth wrote checks his fists could cash! 209 00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:57,880 Someone is using the go-round 210 00:09:57,916 --> 00:09:59,682 for non-merry purposes. 211 00:09:59,718 --> 00:10:02,819 in Casablanca, the part of Rick Blaine 212 00:10:02,854 --> 00:10:04,287 will now be played by Milhouse. 213 00:10:04,322 --> 00:10:06,656 Also, the cafeteria is out of buns, 214 00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:08,224 so for hamburgers we will now be using 215 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,926 two slices of day-old toast. 216 00:10:09,961 --> 00:10:11,527 That is all. 217 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:18,167 Where you're going, I can't... 218 00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,203 Line! 219 00:10:19,237 --> 00:10:20,703 Follow! 220 00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:22,105 Sounds weird to me. 221 00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:23,339 "I can't follow." 222 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:25,007 "I can't follow." 223 00:10:25,043 --> 00:10:27,910 Also, why would Nazis respect letters of transit 224 00:10:27,946 --> 00:10:29,278 signed by De Gaulle? 225 00:10:29,314 --> 00:10:31,447 I may be pulling on a thread, but hear me out... 226 00:10:36,388 --> 00:10:37,987 Everything looks great, Marge. 227 00:10:38,022 --> 00:10:39,956 That cheese is cubed perfectly. 228 00:10:39,991 --> 00:10:40,991 Thank you. 229 00:10:41,025 --> 00:10:42,191 I get queasy when I see 230 00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:43,826 cubes that are cut on the bias. 231 00:10:44,863 --> 00:10:47,697 Oh, Mr. Smithers. 232 00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:49,098 Come in, come in, come in. 233 00:10:49,134 --> 00:10:50,867 Can I get you a Tom Collins? 234 00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:53,169 Hello, Tom Collins. 235 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,172 Hmm, I see what's going on here. 236 00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,875 Fix up your boss so he won't be so hard on you. 237 00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:01,344 Well, nice try. 238 00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:04,981 I want a vodka tonic, and then I'm gonna leave. 239 00:11:05,016 --> 00:11:08,151 Mr. Collins, would you be charmed by horror stories 240 00:11:08,186 --> 00:11:09,819 of working with Bill Shatner? 241 00:11:09,854 --> 00:11:11,053 Uh, who? 242 00:11:11,089 --> 00:11:12,488 I like you already. 243 00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:13,956 You know what? 244 00:11:13,992 --> 00:11:16,159 I don't think that attitude is the real you. 245 00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:19,195 I believe you have a pinched nerve in your neck, 246 00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:20,463 and guess what? 247 00:11:20,498 --> 00:11:23,866 You're in luck, because I give great massage. 248 00:11:23,902 --> 00:11:24,967 Sorry, not interested. 249 00:11:26,104 --> 00:11:27,370 Wow, wow. 250 00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:28,971 How did you do that? 251 00:11:29,007 --> 00:11:32,108 Would you like to discuss that over Peruvian tapas? 252 00:11:32,143 --> 00:11:33,943 Simpson, I'm stealing your bartender. 253 00:11:33,978 --> 00:11:35,144 Take the next couple days off. 254 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,180 Woo-hoo! 255 00:11:36,214 --> 00:11:37,647 Three day bender! 256 00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:42,819 Are there any gay-themed songs about celebrating? 257 00:11:42,854 --> 00:11:45,221 ♪ Celebrate ♪ 258 00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:46,522 ♪ Good times, come on ♪ 259 00:11:46,558 --> 00:11:49,025 ♪ Let's celebrate ♪ 260 00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:51,427 Did you used to jog with Monty? 261 00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:53,496 Mm, sort of. 262 00:11:53,531 --> 00:11:57,733 ♪ Come on, let's celebrate ♪ 263 00:11:57,769 --> 00:12:01,404 ♪ There's a party going on right here ♪ 264 00:12:01,439 --> 00:12:04,207 ♪ A celebration to last throughout the years... ♪ 265 00:12:10,081 --> 00:12:12,014 Smithers, where have you been? 266 00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:13,549 I'm dictating my autobiography. 267 00:12:13,585 --> 00:12:16,085 Chapter One: A Commotion at the Telegraph Office. 268 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,954 I'm afraid I have other plans. 269 00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:19,288 There are no other plans. 270 00:12:19,324 --> 00:12:21,090 Now take my picture for the back cover. 271 00:12:22,227 --> 00:12:24,160 No, sir, I don't think I will. 272 00:12:24,195 --> 00:12:26,896 In fact, what I'm going to do is... 273 00:12:26,931 --> 00:12:28,598 quit! 274 00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:31,334 My God, I did it. 275 00:12:31,369 --> 00:12:32,335 I actually quit. 276 00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:34,403 No one quits me. 277 00:12:39,444 --> 00:12:41,110 One more button. 278 00:12:42,447 --> 00:12:45,014 You're forgetting who installed this system. 279 00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:48,307 Ahoy-hoy! 280 00:12:49,825 --> 00:12:52,190 So, you want time off for your sister's funeral? 281 00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:54,316 Miss Naegle, 282 00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:56,651 release the hounds. 283 00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:57,563 Wh-What do you mean? 284 00:12:57,564 --> 00:13:00,131 Send vicious dogs to rip him to shreds. 285 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:02,267 But wouldn't I be criminally liable? 286 00:13:02,302 --> 00:13:03,268 I said release! 287 00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:04,436 Release, release! 288 00:13:04,471 --> 00:13:06,771 That sounds vaguely sexual. 289 00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:08,573 I'm gonna have to file a grievance. 290 00:13:08,609 --> 00:13:11,576 Also, let's just see how you've been treating those hounds. 291 00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:12,310 What the... 292 00:13:12,346 --> 00:13:13,411 Okay, we're gonna have 293 00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:15,313 to shut this all down. 294 00:13:15,349 --> 00:13:17,382 You know, he doesn't give me health insurance... 295 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,884 and I, uh, I think I have rabies. 296 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,453 Okay, that's it, Mr. Burns. 297 00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:22,554 I'm gonna need to speak 298 00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:24,222 to your head of Human Resources. 299 00:13:24,258 --> 00:13:25,657 It's this guy. 300 00:13:31,365 --> 00:13:33,231 Um... what are you doing? 301 00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:34,432 Oh, sorry. 302 00:13:34,468 --> 00:13:35,634 I used to do that for Mr. Burns. 303 00:13:35,669 --> 00:13:37,636 Ah, forget about Burns. 304 00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:39,004 Ancient-a history. 305 00:13:39,039 --> 00:13:41,573 I left-a the Italy 40 years ago, 306 00:13:41,608 --> 00:13:43,375 but do you see me-a crying 307 00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:47,412 in my pappardelle rustiche con salsiccia e porri? 308 00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:49,781 Waylon, just what did you see in him? 309 00:13:54,988 --> 00:13:58,657 Now to set her down gently on the golf course. 310 00:14:03,964 --> 00:14:05,630 You're right, totally. 311 00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:06,865 I'm here for you. 312 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,434 Listen, I'm making a trip to Cuba, okay? 313 00:14:09,469 --> 00:14:11,436 My homeland, where my accent 314 00:14:11,471 --> 00:14:13,571 is not so reedickoloss. 315 00:14:13,607 --> 00:14:15,507 Come with me to Havana. 316 00:14:18,845 --> 00:14:20,645 W-wait a minute. 317 00:14:20,681 --> 00:14:22,480 I'm... not sure. 318 00:14:22,516 --> 00:14:24,282 But this is the route we're gonna take. 319 00:14:24,318 --> 00:14:25,450 Oh, what the hell, 320 00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:26,718 this is gonna be the time of my life. 321 00:14:26,753 --> 00:14:28,553 I'm in! 322 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:33,725 Milhouse is the worst actor I've ever seen, 323 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,661 and I have to play opposite him! 324 00:14:36,697 --> 00:14:38,496 He's so bad. 325 00:14:38,532 --> 00:14:40,565 Look at his headshot. 326 00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:44,469 Whenever I'm dealing with someone who 327 00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:45,904 isn't doing a great job, 328 00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,873 what I do is treat them like they're perfect. 329 00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:50,108 Really? 330 00:14:50,143 --> 00:14:51,943 If they sense you believe in them, 331 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,178 they'll get better. 332 00:14:53,213 --> 00:14:54,779 Did our taxes, Marge. 333 00:14:54,815 --> 00:14:57,148 The government owes us $2 million. 334 00:14:57,184 --> 00:14:59,584 That is really, really great, 335 00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:01,119 but maybe you should check again. 336 00:15:01,154 --> 00:15:02,120 What? 337 00:15:02,155 --> 00:15:03,521 Oh, I... my mistake. 338 00:15:03,557 --> 00:15:05,023 We owe them $37. 339 00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:07,058 That's some nice adding. 340 00:15:07,094 --> 00:15:08,793 Yeah. 341 00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,001 I've done it. 342 00:15:17,037 --> 00:15:18,002 I'm happy. 343 00:15:18,038 --> 00:15:19,504 I'm in a new world 344 00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:20,805 and completely forgotten about... 345 00:15:21,842 --> 00:15:23,174 What, the buzzard of death? 346 00:15:24,444 --> 00:15:26,077 It reminds you of him! 347 00:15:26,113 --> 00:15:27,078 I'm sorry, sir. 348 00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,181 You address me like I am him. 349 00:15:30,217 --> 00:15:32,083 Everything reminds you of him! 350 00:15:32,119 --> 00:15:34,452 I bet that mural of him 351 00:15:34,488 --> 00:15:36,654 being driven out of Cuba in 1959 352 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:38,990 reminds you of him! 353 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:43,628 Waylon, I am a man who needs 100% commitment, okay? 354 00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:46,731 Okay, well, maybe not 100, 355 00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:49,434 but at least, like, 20, you know, which is 356 00:15:49,469 --> 00:15:51,436 the percentage that your cell phone needs 357 00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:52,570 to stay in the green. 358 00:15:52,606 --> 00:15:54,038 So tell me now, Waylon. 359 00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:56,141 Am I in the green? 360 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,877 I'm afraid not. 361 00:16:00,514 --> 00:16:04,983 Beneath this mask I am crying. 362 00:16:05,018 --> 00:16:06,151 Everyone who's replaced Smithers 363 00:16:06,186 --> 00:16:07,652 has been nothing but trouble. 364 00:16:07,687 --> 00:16:09,387 You're my lawyers, tell me what to do. 365 00:16:09,423 --> 00:16:12,724 Sir, I think your only option is to get Mr. Smithers back. 366 00:16:12,759 --> 00:16:13,925 You'll have to give him money. 367 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,327 Lots of money, but it won't be enough. 368 00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:19,664 Yes, I suppose what this calls for 369 00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:23,134 is a personal apology straight from my heart. 370 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:25,904 Have it on my desk first thing tomorrow... 371 00:16:25,939 --> 00:16:28,973 and write yourselves apologies from me to you 372 00:16:29,009 --> 00:16:30,608 for making you work late, 373 00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:33,912 and they'd better sound sincere. 374 00:16:41,455 --> 00:16:43,455 You're going to be great. 375 00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:44,923 I already am... 376 00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:47,058 because you just told me so. 377 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,093 Oh. 378 00:16:49,196 --> 00:16:50,628 Thank you. 379 00:16:50,664 --> 00:16:54,098 So, what brought you to Casablanca? 380 00:16:54,134 --> 00:16:56,835 I came here for the waters. 381 00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:59,904 There are no waters in Casablanca. 382 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:02,173 I was misinformed. 383 00:17:03,977 --> 00:17:06,778 Is it just me or is Milhouse really killing it? 384 00:17:06,813 --> 00:17:09,013 He's like a young Noah Wylie. 385 00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:13,117 If that plane leaves the ground 386 00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:15,420 and you're not with him, you'll regret it. 387 00:17:15,455 --> 00:17:18,423 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, 388 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:21,092 but soon and for the rest of your life. 389 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,962 You did it, Marge. 390 00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:25,997 This earns my highest praise: 391 00:17:26,032 --> 00:17:27,699 get through-able. 392 00:17:31,905 --> 00:17:34,472 Milhouse, you were incredible. 393 00:17:34,508 --> 00:17:36,508 Maybe that's because... 394 00:17:36,543 --> 00:17:38,576 I'm not Milhouse. 395 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:42,180 Oh, but, is Milhouse okay? 396 00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:44,115 Is Milhouse ever okay? 397 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,483 Good point. 398 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:47,585 Now let's go to the soda fountain 399 00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:50,021 and ask the jerk for a float with two straws. 400 00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:51,589 What year are you from? 401 00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:54,125 Oh, who cares? 402 00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:57,829 Mr. Burns, Mr. Smithers, 403 00:17:57,864 --> 00:18:01,866 I make-a something very special for your reunion. 404 00:18:01,902 --> 00:18:03,501 One cheese pizza. 405 00:18:03,537 --> 00:18:04,669 Well, Smithers, I got here 406 00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:06,104 as soon as I heard you wanted to meet. 407 00:18:06,139 --> 00:18:08,439 Took something called Uber, which I thought would be 408 00:18:08,475 --> 00:18:10,542 a Wehrmacht staff car, but turned out to be a... 409 00:18:11,611 --> 00:18:12,677 Prius, driven by a... 410 00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:13,978 woman. 411 00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:15,413 Now, down to business. 412 00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:18,917 It's all here. 413 00:18:18,952 --> 00:18:20,218 Everything it'll take to get him back. 414 00:18:20,253 --> 00:18:21,786 Oh, no, forgot the Starbucks card. 415 00:18:21,821 --> 00:18:22,787 Is it too late to... 416 00:18:22,822 --> 00:18:23,855 Sir, before you start, 417 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,356 let me say I don't want money, 418 00:18:25,392 --> 00:18:28,126 and I don't want some letter written by your lawyers. 419 00:18:28,161 --> 00:18:29,661 I want to know why you want me back. 420 00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:32,063 I see. 421 00:18:32,098 --> 00:18:33,831 Well, the thing is, 422 00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:36,267 you really care about me, don't you? 423 00:18:36,303 --> 00:18:38,870 Maybe a little, still. 424 00:18:38,905 --> 00:18:40,204 All right, Smithers. 425 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,773 There's one thing I've never given you. 426 00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:44,108 I kept it bottled up inside all these years 427 00:18:44,144 --> 00:18:45,209 and here it is... 428 00:18:45,245 --> 00:18:46,711 your performance review. 429 00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:49,581 It's... excellent. 430 00:18:49,616 --> 00:18:51,783 Amazingly, that's enough. 431 00:18:51,818 --> 00:18:52,850 Thank you, sir. 432 00:18:52,886 --> 00:18:56,220 ♪ You must remember this ♪ 433 00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:59,157 ♪ A kiss is just a kiss... ♪ 434 00:18:59,192 --> 00:19:00,959 No music! 435 00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:06,123 I heard you serve 10-year-olds. 436 00:19:06,158 --> 00:19:08,258 That's referring to the age of the pickled eggs, 437 00:19:08,294 --> 00:19:10,193 but, uh, I'll get you a milk. 438 00:19:11,664 --> 00:19:14,064 Mr. Smithers, why do guys do 439 00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:16,667 such stupid things when it comes to dames? 440 00:19:16,702 --> 00:19:19,002 Hey, you been talking to that weird Bogart kid? 441 00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:20,904 He came around here trying to talk me 442 00:19:20,939 --> 00:19:23,307 into an expedition to find some gold. 443 00:19:23,342 --> 00:19:26,043 Yeah, so I'm getting the mules. 444 00:19:26,078 --> 00:19:27,811 Let me tell you about dames, Milhouse. 445 00:19:27,846 --> 00:19:29,980 I know nothing about them, but as for love, 446 00:19:30,015 --> 00:19:32,015 what keeps you going is the thrill of the chase. 447 00:19:32,051 --> 00:19:33,650 The possibility that one day you 448 00:19:33,686 --> 00:19:35,552 might get what you want, even though the reality is 449 00:19:35,587 --> 00:19:37,654 you probably never will. 450 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:39,656 That's why I don't chase dames. 451 00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:40,891 Just gold. 452 00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:42,559 I'll be back in six months 453 00:19:42,594 --> 00:19:43,894 with one-third of the biggest treasure 454 00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:45,729 you ever saw. 455 00:20:03,449 --> 00:20:09,949 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 456 00:20:53,589 --> 00:20:55,556 Shh!