1
00:00:04,283 --> 00:00:06,550
(tires screeching)
2
00:00:07,648 --> 00:00:09,280
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,316 --> 00:00:10,715
(tires screeching)
4
00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:12,450
(grunts)
5
00:00:13,453 --> 00:00:15,587
(grunting)
6
00:00:15,588 --> 00:00:19,588
♪ The Simpsons 26x08 ♪
Covercraft
Original Air Date on November 23, 2014
7
00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:24,832
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
8
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,400
(snoring)
9
00:00:26,434 --> 00:00:28,534
(groans)
10
00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,736
(humming)
11
00:00:30,772 --> 00:00:32,772
(humming)
12
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,709
Well, if ain't
my next-door neighbor,
13
00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:37,910
King Toot.
14
00:00:37,945 --> 00:00:39,111
Moe.
15
00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:40,546
How many times I
got to tell you
16
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:42,548
not to throw your trash
in my Dumpster?
17
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,350
Oh, come on, Szyslak.
18
00:00:44,385 --> 00:00:47,186
I got to make space in the store
for my new side business--
19
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:50,656
a tanning salon that secretly
has cameras in the beds,
20
00:00:50,692 --> 00:00:55,161
which feeds into my Web site,
www.tancams.com.
21
00:00:55,196 --> 00:00:56,796
That is registered.
22
00:00:56,831 --> 00:00:58,197
Yeah, sounds great.
23
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,466
Maybe then you could afford
to rent your own Dumpster.
24
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:01,967
I like my current deal.
25
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,003
Free. Of. Charge.
26
00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:07,506
(grunting)
27
00:01:07,542 --> 00:01:08,908
I'll eat your hair!
28
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,544
You call that a testicle kick?
29
00:01:11,579 --> 00:01:12,745
(tires screech)
30
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:14,747
All right, you two, break it up.
31
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,415
Drive on, asphalt cowboy,
32
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,085
or I'll squeeze his brain out
like an edamame.
33
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,486
Eh, uh, a what?
34
00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:23,022
Those beans you eat
before your sushi comes.
35
00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:24,590
Oh, salt peas.
36
00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:27,193
I call them salt peas.
37
00:01:27,228 --> 00:01:30,062
Look, Officer, after 20 years
of being neighbors,
38
00:01:30,098 --> 00:01:31,797
tempers sometimes flare up.
39
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:33,432
Moe's a good guy.
40
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,034
No, no, no, it's my fault.
41
00:01:35,069 --> 00:01:36,736
I'm a hothead.
42
00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:39,205
I ain't got no beef
with you, Toot.
43
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,873
(whispering): You better stay
out of my Dumpster.
44
00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:42,842
I've also been
stealing the catalogs
45
00:01:42,877 --> 00:01:45,244
out of your mailbox.
46
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,246
(punching,
instruments clattering)
47
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:49,281
(grunting)
48
00:01:51,419 --> 00:01:53,385
(screaming)
49
00:01:53,421 --> 00:01:55,387
It's my Dumpster!
50
00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:57,423
(screaming continues)
51
00:02:04,132 --> 00:02:05,765
(both growling)
52
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,266
And that's the
terrifying tale
53
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,436
of how the Quebec Nordiques
became...
54
00:02:10,471 --> 00:02:13,272
the Colorado Avalanche.
55
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,473
Oh, no!
56
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,709
King Toot's is closed!
57
00:02:16,744 --> 00:02:19,478
Dad, you're going to have
to take me to...
58
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,647
the big box music store.
59
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:24,016
Look at all
these monstrosities.
60
00:02:24,051 --> 00:02:26,452
HOMER: Lisa, how many times
have I told you
61
00:02:26,487 --> 00:02:28,788
to bow down
to our corporate overlords?
62
00:02:28,823 --> 00:02:30,856
(Lisa groans)
63
00:02:30,892 --> 00:02:32,858
(doorbell dings)
64
00:02:32,894 --> 00:02:34,260
Hmm.
Hmm.
65
00:02:34,295 --> 00:02:36,295
It's like some kind
of guitar central.
66
00:02:37,999 --> 00:02:39,198
Hmm.
67
00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:40,299
(groans)
68
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,735
Hmm. Hmm.
69
00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:45,137
Midlife crisis
at 12 o'clock.
70
00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:46,839
Mm-hmm.
71
00:02:46,874 --> 00:02:48,474
Okay, let me guess, dude.
72
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:51,043
You're an axman; you're
looking to score a new blade.
73
00:02:51,078 --> 00:02:52,511
Stig.
74
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,080
(chuckles) You've got a name
that's not a name.
75
00:02:55,116 --> 00:02:56,448
So what's your poison, bro?
76
00:02:56,484 --> 00:02:58,217
Les Paul?
Straight up Gibson?
77
00:02:58,252 --> 00:03:00,186
No, no, no, classic Strat,
am I right?
78
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,454
Oh, I don't have what it takes
to play guitar.
79
00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:05,691
I mean, I'm no Joe Walsh
in the brains department.
80
00:03:05,726 --> 00:03:07,660
(chuckles) Who is?
81
00:03:07,695 --> 00:03:09,261
Look, you don't have the weak,
82
00:03:09,297 --> 00:03:11,864
womanly fingers
of a guitar princess.
83
00:03:11,899 --> 00:03:13,199
You, my friend,
84
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,868
have the muscular stumps
of a bass man.
85
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:17,803
Try this on.
86
00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:19,839
(note plays loudly)
87
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,509
What the rock?
88
00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:25,544
(chuckles)
Now that was a lick.
89
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,812
I did a lick?
90
00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:28,047
Keep them coming.
91
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,949
(notes repeating)
92
00:03:29,984 --> 00:03:31,517
Yes, now bob your head.
93
00:03:31,552 --> 00:03:34,253
Bob it, bob it, bob it.
94
00:03:34,288 --> 00:03:38,190
Dude, usually it takes years
to learn such neck confidence.
95
00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:39,892
Now check this out.
96
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:41,927
♪ ♪
97
00:03:44,298 --> 00:03:45,764
Oh, my God.
98
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,733
I'm amazing.
99
00:03:47,768 --> 00:03:48,968
Dude, you're already
100
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:51,103
one of the greatest bass
players of all time.
101
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,572
Okay.
102
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,741
Now... Oh, how are you set
for stage lights?
103
00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:57,209
I'm not set at all.
104
00:03:57,245 --> 00:04:00,079
Ooh, what about gels?
105
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,147
This is embarrassing
to admit, Stig,
106
00:04:02,183 --> 00:04:04,950
but I haven't even thought
about gels.
107
00:04:04,986 --> 00:04:06,285
(Marge humming)
108
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,821
(bass playing loudly)
109
00:04:08,856 --> 00:04:10,389
(gasps)
110
00:04:14,228 --> 00:04:15,394
(screams)
111
00:04:16,764 --> 00:04:18,764
What is that racket?!
112
00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:20,132
Music!
113
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:22,434
Beautiful music!
114
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,069
What?!
115
00:04:24,105 --> 00:04:25,771
Beautiful music, baby.
116
00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:27,473
The bass guitar?
117
00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:29,942
This doesn't really
seem like you.
118
00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:31,277
Sure it is.
119
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,512
You know I've always loved
laying things down.
120
00:04:33,547 --> 00:04:35,214
Grooves are just the latest.
121
00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,582
(groans)
122
00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:38,217
I feel a powerful connection
123
00:04:38,252 --> 00:04:40,419
to the history
of famous bass players.
124
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,421
Like what's-his-name
from The Who.
125
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,423
Or that guy from Led Zeppelin
126
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,392
who wasn't Page,
Plant or Bonham.
127
00:04:46,427 --> 00:04:49,128
Those are the only two
I know for sure.
128
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,997
It's so cool to have
another musician in the family!
129
00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:54,934
Oh, yeah, and you know what
the great thing is about music?
130
00:04:54,969 --> 00:04:57,236
It's so easy.
131
00:04:57,271 --> 00:04:59,405
Uh, well, to truly master
an instrument
132
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,606
you'll need years of...
133
00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:02,508
So easy.
134
00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:04,743
(bass playing)
135
00:05:04,779 --> 00:05:06,679
(gasping)
136
00:05:10,051 --> 00:05:12,051
(siren wailing)
(gasps)
137
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:15,955
(groans)
138
00:05:18,659 --> 00:05:20,025
(gasps)
139
00:05:20,061 --> 00:05:21,360
Oh!
140
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,867
Ooh!
141
00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:30,102
(groans)
142
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,140
MARGE:
I can't take it.
143
00:05:35,176 --> 00:05:38,143
All Homer does
is play that stupid bass.
144
00:05:38,179 --> 00:05:41,647
Doink, doink, doink, doink,
doink, doink, doink.
145
00:05:41,682 --> 00:05:43,382
You're not alone, Marge.
146
00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:46,185
A man gets older,
has a career, a few kids,
147
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,721
and suddenly there's a hole
in his life
148
00:05:48,756 --> 00:05:52,391
that can only be filled
by jamming.
149
00:05:52,426 --> 00:05:54,727
For my Julius,
it was the drums.
150
00:05:54,762 --> 00:05:56,795
Timothy has
that awful guitar.
151
00:05:56,831 --> 00:05:59,064
Kirk just loves his keyboards.
152
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,899
I never knew
so many women suffered
153
00:06:00,935 --> 00:06:03,268
from extramarital jamming.
154
00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:05,904
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.
155
00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:09,575
What if all the dads
jammed together
156
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,310
in a dad band?!
157
00:06:11,345 --> 00:06:13,512
That way they would play
their horrible music
158
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,781
in one garage at a time.
159
00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:17,850
Marge, you're a genius!
160
00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:19,752
This menu was right--
161
00:06:19,787 --> 00:06:23,122
good things do happen
at 'Zerz.
162
00:06:23,157 --> 00:06:25,157
♪ 'Zerz! ♪
163
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,394
(cymbals clattering)
164
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,095
I don't know, guys.
165
00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:31,864
I'm not sure
I'm feeling this.
166
00:06:31,899 --> 00:06:35,534
The bass is kind of known
for being a solo instrument.
167
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,669
What were
our wives thinking?
168
00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:40,139
We probably don't even like
the same tunes.
169
00:06:40,174 --> 00:06:42,274
On the count of three,
everyone say
170
00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:43,709
their favorite kind of music.
171
00:06:43,744 --> 00:06:45,344
One, two, three...
172
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:47,079
ALL:
Hard-driving rock!
173
00:06:47,114 --> 00:06:48,147
(gasping)
174
00:06:48,182 --> 00:06:49,815
Dads, let's jam!
175
00:06:51,685 --> 00:06:54,553
(rock song playing)
176
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,588
Garage bands rule!
177
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,160
(gasps)
178
00:07:01,195 --> 00:07:03,829
I almost forgot
the most important thing.
179
00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:17,842
(rock song playing)
180
00:07:17,877 --> 00:07:20,211
(song ends)
181
00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:22,756
Great practice, guys.
182
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:24,925
What do you say we give
it another six hours,
183
00:07:24,961 --> 00:07:26,694
then call it a day?
184
00:07:26,729 --> 00:07:28,362
APU:
Excuse me,
185
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:31,265
but my wife told me about
your get-out-of-the-house band.
186
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,567
And, uh,
perhaps you need a singer?
187
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:36,170
Oh, yeah, Apu,
188
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,038
I'm sure you're
a great singer.
189
00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:41,408
But the balance of the band
is really delicate right now,
190
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:45,279
and we're not really looking
for a world music vibe.
191
00:07:45,314 --> 00:07:47,081
No disrespect to world music.
192
00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:49,116
I love world music.
193
00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:51,385
No, no, I will sing
the classic power ballad
194
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:54,054
"Hopin' for a Dream"
by my favorite band
195
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,657
from the 1980s, Sungazer.
196
00:07:57,693 --> 00:07:59,126
(clears throat)
197
00:07:59,161 --> 00:08:00,260
Okay, here we go.
198
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:03,197
♪ When I close my eyes ♪
199
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:07,201
♪ I wish that
I could fantasize ♪
200
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:11,438
♪ Pull a dream right
out of the air ♪
201
00:08:11,474 --> 00:08:15,309
♪ Take a chance,
turn it into a prayer. ♪
202
00:08:16,445 --> 00:08:18,245
That sounds nothing
like terrible,
203
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,713
terrible world music.
204
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,583
Why is your voice different
when you sing?
205
00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:25,753
It is because of all the years
I spent at the Kwik-E-Mart...
206
00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:27,154
(rock song playing)
207
00:08:27,189 --> 00:08:29,189
...where classic rock anthems
were piped in
208
00:08:29,225 --> 00:08:30,724
on a never-ending loop.
209
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,162
The endless repetition
drove many clerks to madness.
210
00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:37,164
The only way to maintain
my sanity
211
00:08:37,199 --> 00:08:39,833
was to sing along
until it seemed like
212
00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:41,468
our voices were one.
213
00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:44,838
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
214
00:08:44,874 --> 00:08:46,440
♪ Hopin' ♪
215
00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:48,442
♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪
216
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:52,613
♪ I'll keep fighting
till I want something great ♪
217
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:55,549
♪ Hopin' for a dream. ♪
218
00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:56,984
(song ends)
219
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,419
Guys, are you feeling this?
220
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,920
Are you feeling this?
221
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:01,221
I'm feeling it.
222
00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:02,556
I'm definitely
feeling it.
223
00:09:02,591 --> 00:09:05,359
I felt something earlier,
but I was afraid to bring it up.
224
00:09:05,394 --> 00:09:07,461
I think we all
felt something.
225
00:09:07,496 --> 00:09:09,396
We are more than just
a garage band
226
00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:11,912
desperate to do anything other
than hang out with our families.
227
00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:14,501
We are now a cover band.
228
00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,103
And we shall be called...
229
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:17,371
Covercraft.
230
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:20,974
Because we play covers
and this is our craft.
231
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,710
And it sounds
like Hovercraft.
232
00:09:22,745 --> 00:09:24,211
That was not my intent.
233
00:09:24,246 --> 00:09:26,480
Okay, Covercraft, hands in.
234
00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:27,715
Cover...
235
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,949
ALL:
Craft!
236
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:38,158
R-O-K-C.
237
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,761
(carnival music playing)
238
00:09:47,436 --> 00:09:49,236
(instruments tuning)
239
00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:53,941
Okay, this crowd is
about to experience
240
00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:56,143
the special magic
of the cover band,
241
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,045
the thrill of live music
242
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,314
without the fear
of hearing anything new.
243
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,415
Hmm?
244
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:02,683
(sighs)
245
00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:04,551
Apu, what's wrong?
246
00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:06,420
What if, what if
I am no good?
247
00:10:06,455 --> 00:10:08,622
This is the
Cabbage Festival, man.
248
00:10:08,657 --> 00:10:10,958
I-I don't know if
I can face that crowd!
249
00:10:10,993 --> 00:10:12,259
(groans)
250
00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:14,128
Buddy, buddy.
Think of it this way:
251
00:10:14,163 --> 00:10:16,764
you're not singing
in front of all those people,
252
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:18,599
you're alone
at the Kwik-E-Mart
253
00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:20,134
in the middle of the night.
254
00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:22,002
You just wear this onstage,
255
00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:24,071
and everything will be fine.
256
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:25,839
(gasps)
My uniform!
257
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:33,447
All alone at the Kwik-E-Mart.
258
00:10:36,318 --> 00:10:37,918
♪ ♪
259
00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:40,988
♪ When I close my eyes ♪
260
00:10:41,023 --> 00:10:45,025
♪ I wish that
I could fantasize ♪
261
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:48,662
♪ Pull a dream
right out of the air ♪
262
00:10:48,697 --> 00:10:50,030
♪ Take a chance ♪
263
00:10:50,065 --> 00:10:52,032
♪ Turn it into a prayer ♪
264
00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:56,136
♪ Girl, you know
I want to be the guy ♪
265
00:10:56,172 --> 00:11:00,741
♪ With a hunger
burning deep inside ♪
266
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:04,745
♪ Tonight I wish
upon a falling star ♪
267
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:08,916
♪ To discover what
my yearnings are... ♪
268
00:11:12,188 --> 00:11:13,554
Everyone loves you, Dad.
269
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,722
You could become
a famous rock star!
270
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,924
Well, son,
271
00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:18,158
I do have the talent.
272
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:20,127
My mind is full of ideas
273
00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:22,262
for great songs I could write...
274
00:11:22,298 --> 00:11:24,565
down the names of
and then cover.
275
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,099
But then I remember:
276
00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:29,203
I'm just a regular guy,
jamming with my buds.
277
00:11:29,238 --> 00:11:30,571
Oh, sweetie.
278
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,140
This band has brought out
the best in you.
279
00:11:33,175 --> 00:11:36,043
Yeah, you really get that
it's all about the music.
280
00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:37,144
Yep.
281
00:11:37,179 --> 00:11:38,712
It's all about the music.
282
00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:41,615
And it would take a pretty
unforeseen development
283
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,116
to change that.
284
00:11:43,152 --> 00:11:46,220
Pretty unforeseen...
285
00:11:49,024 --> 00:11:52,793
Gentlemen, I think we've found
what we're looking for.
286
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,532
HOMER: Guys, I really need
your honesty here.
287
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,601
At the Squidport
Senior Jamboree...
288
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,070
was I too in
the pocket?
289
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:04,705
(Covercraft members gasp)
290
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,007
KIRK: Freddy Freeman,
Shredder Stevens,
291
00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:09,710
Nick Delacourt and
Peter D'Abbruzio--
292
00:12:09,745 --> 00:12:13,113
you're four of the five guys
from Sungazer!
293
00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:16,283
But where's your lead
singer, Grant LeDavid?
294
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,885
Uh, he passed away.
295
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,920
How?
296
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:20,454
(whispering)
297
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,823
What kind of erotic
asphyxiation?
298
00:12:22,858 --> 00:12:23,858
(whispering)
299
00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:24,892
Oh...
300
00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:26,894
Apu, you're
the only man
301
00:12:26,929 --> 00:12:28,295
on the entire
Internet
302
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,964
who's got the pure
Sungazer sound.
303
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,566
Will you be our
new lead singer
304
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:34,568
and join us on
our stadium tour?
305
00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:35,469
Uh...
Oh! Ooh.
306
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:38,138
I think I can
answer for Apu.
307
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,339
He's flattered,
308
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:41,375
but the small-time
success of Covercraft
309
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,477
is all that any of us
have ever wanted.
310
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:44,945
Uh, actually, I...
311
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,881
Apu has a rich life
here in Springfield:
312
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,816
a store full of
great products,
313
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,685
a lovely
him-type wife,
314
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,420
and eight super kids:
315
00:12:53,455 --> 00:12:56,523
Anoop, Sandeep,
Nabendu, Gheet,
316
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:59,259
Pria, Uma,
Poonam, Sashi...
317
00:12:59,295 --> 00:13:00,460
Shut your mouth,
I want to do it!
318
00:13:00,496 --> 00:13:01,595
I want to do it!
319
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,598
I want to be a singer
for a real rock band!
320
00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:05,633
SHREDDER STEVENS:
Sun...
321
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,833
ALL:
...gazer!
322
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,905
Gotta say, I'm
kind of jealous
323
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:13,907
of Apu getting
a break like that.
324
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,142
Not me.
325
00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:16,677
I'm nothing but happy
326
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,346
that our friend is headed
for fame and fortune.
327
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,848
APU:
Tonight we play Las Vegas--
328
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,018
and the theme of
the casino is circus!
329
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,486
Circus!
330
00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:28,155
Ha!
331
00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:29,523
(whimpers)
332
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,658
I want his fame
and fortune so much!
333
00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:35,128
Why must the Lords
of Rock be so cruel?!
334
00:13:35,164 --> 00:13:37,831
(laughing)
335
00:13:37,866 --> 00:13:39,232
Sammy Hagar?
336
00:13:39,268 --> 00:13:40,834
You're not dead.
337
00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:43,603
Damn it!
338
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,639
I told you those jalapeño
poppers had too much breading!
339
00:13:45,674 --> 00:13:47,207
Sorry,
Señor Hagar.
340
00:13:47,242 --> 00:13:48,875
Nah, nah, nah,
it's cool, man.
341
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,644
I went to rock star heaven.
342
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:54,548
And there was this great back
patio with this sweet fire pit.
343
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,351
If you had the right
wristband-- which I did.
344
00:13:57,386 --> 00:13:58,585
(laughs)
345
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,715
News story in aisle three?
Local clerk,
346
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,916
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon,
347
00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:07,519
is a dead ringer
for a dead singer.
348
00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:09,821
He's living the rock star dream
349
00:14:09,857 --> 00:14:11,690
as front man for
'80s chart-toppers
350
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:15,760
Sungazer on their Last Final
Hell Re-Freezes Over
351
00:14:15,796 --> 00:14:17,929
Ultimate Good-bye
For Serious This Time
352
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:20,398
Never Again Part Two
of Question Mark Tour.
353
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:21,933
Apu and the band appeared
354
00:14:21,969 --> 00:14:23,268
on Saturday Night Live
355
00:14:23,303 --> 00:14:24,863
as the punch line
in a game show sketch.
356
00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:26,204
What's a game show?
357
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,106
Something you make
sketches about.
358
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:29,774
KENT BROCKMAN: It looks like Apu
won't be playing
359
00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:32,777
the Cabbage Festival ever again.
360
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,816
Dad, you shouldn't
be jealous of Apu.
361
00:14:37,851 --> 00:14:40,085
Remember, it's all
about the music.
362
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,152
I'm not jealous.
363
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,454
I'm envious.
364
00:14:42,489 --> 00:14:43,688
Jealousy is
when you worry
365
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:45,156
someone will take
what you have.
366
00:14:45,192 --> 00:14:47,125
Envy is wanting
what someone else has.
367
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,561
What I feel is envy.
368
00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:50,962
Hmm.
369
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:52,397
Wow, he's
right.
370
00:14:52,432 --> 00:14:53,432
You know what?
371
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:55,066
Apu leaving is
the best thing
372
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,342
that ever happened
to this band.
373
00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:58,203
We're gonna be
like Genesis
374
00:14:58,238 --> 00:15:00,272
after Peter Gabriel left.
375
00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:02,474
You mean more popular
but not as good?
376
00:15:02,509 --> 00:15:05,176
Phil Collins-era Genesis
is not as good, huh?
377
00:15:05,212 --> 00:15:07,512
"No Reply at All,"
"Land of Confusion,"
378
00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:09,681
"Throwing it All Away,"
"Illegal Alien,"
379
00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:13,285
"I Can't Dance," and I'm sure
I don't need to mention...
380
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,787
"Invisible Touch"!
381
00:15:15,822 --> 00:15:16,822
Hmph!
382
00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:20,892
(Covercraft plays)
383
00:15:24,932 --> 00:15:26,898
(grunts)
384
00:15:26,934 --> 00:15:30,569
You know, we really could
use a new lead singer.
385
00:15:30,604 --> 00:15:32,904
You know, I've been
known to sing a little.
386
00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:35,674
What? So you can also get
famous and bail on us?
387
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:36,808
You're out of the band!
388
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:39,210
Well, you can't
just kick him out.
389
00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:42,047
Oh, so you're sticking
up for Yoko here?
390
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,983
Looks like I've got
another Yoko on my hands.
391
00:15:45,018 --> 00:15:46,885
How can there be two Yokos?
392
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,486
Yoko! Yoko!
393
00:15:48,522 --> 00:15:49,821
Yoko! Yoko! Yoko!
394
00:15:49,856 --> 00:15:52,324
All you Yokos
are out of the band!
395
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:54,359
(grumbling)
396
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:01,733
Are you okay?
397
00:16:01,768 --> 00:16:03,168
Do I sound okay?
398
00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:04,736
You sound great!
399
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:07,839
Your licks are really... juicy.
400
00:16:07,874 --> 00:16:09,941
They're not juicy.
My licks are dry.
401
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:11,843
Dry and scratchy
like a cat's tongue.
402
00:16:11,878 --> 00:16:13,345
You didn't join a band
403
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,780
to become famous like
in Almost Famous.
404
00:16:15,816 --> 00:16:17,816
You loved playing music
with your friends.
405
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,584
That was enough
to make you happy.
406
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:21,453
Well, it's not enough anymore.
407
00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:23,688
When something great
happens to one person,
408
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:25,790
everyone else's life
gets a little worse.
409
00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:27,692
Look it up, it's called physics.
410
00:16:27,728 --> 00:16:29,427
Apu is a good man.
411
00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:32,697
He sent over front row tickets
and backstage passes
412
00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:35,033
to his show at
the Costington Center.
413
00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:37,435
Oh, you mean he
generously invited us
414
00:16:37,471 --> 00:16:39,337
to come watch him
be a rock star?
415
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,573
Stop feeling
sorry for yourself.
416
00:16:41,608 --> 00:16:43,842
Your friend had a wonderful
thing happen to him,
417
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:47,112
and you are coming with us
to share in his talent.
418
00:16:47,147 --> 00:16:49,080
I'll never have
a per Diem.
419
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,149
You don't know
what a per Diem is.
420
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,217
Still want one.
421
00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:55,521
Hmph.
422
00:17:05,866 --> 00:17:06,866
Hmph.
423
00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:10,036
Hmph.
424
00:17:11,972 --> 00:17:14,105
Apu wouldn't be able
to sing a note
425
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,207
if I didn't help him get
over his stage fright
426
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,109
with his Kwik-E-Mart shirt.
427
00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:19,210
(gasps)
428
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,812
Backstage pass,
429
00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:24,215
you just became
a payback rage pass.
430
00:17:34,661 --> 00:17:36,895
Look at all this rock star
dressing room stuff.
431
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,229
What a sellout.
432
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,664
Cheese plate...
433
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,900
oh, sorry, cubed cheese plate.
434
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,737
Lemon tea, probably
for his throat.
435
00:17:45,772 --> 00:17:47,238
Mm-hmm!
436
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,607
Let's see how he performs
437
00:17:49,643 --> 00:17:51,142
in front of all those people
438
00:17:51,178 --> 00:17:54,112
without his magic-people-
performing-in-front-of shirt.
439
00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:56,815
(door opens, Homer gasps)
440
00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:59,050
But, Mr. Shredder,
you promised me
441
00:17:59,086 --> 00:18:01,653
after we played my hometown
I could have a day off.
442
00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:03,655
I also promised
I'd kick heroin.
443
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:04,823
Hmm?
444
00:18:04,858 --> 00:18:07,192
But the tour is
so hard on my family.
445
00:18:07,227 --> 00:18:08,660
My octuplets are being raised
446
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:10,328
by roadies and bodyguards.
447
00:18:10,363 --> 00:18:12,497
This is
not proper.
448
00:18:12,532 --> 00:18:13,665
Look, Apu.
449
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,767
For 25 years
we wasted money
450
00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:17,469
on women, drugs
451
00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:19,804
and guitars with
live fish inside.
452
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,040
And now we want
to keep it going.
453
00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:24,375
You signed a contract
for a three-year,
454
00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:27,078
57-country tour
at union scale--
455
00:18:27,114 --> 00:18:28,680
no per Diem.
456
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:29,447
(gasps softly)
457
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,382
You're in the band.
458
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,020
Oh, well, I guess it's showtime.
459
00:18:36,056 --> 00:18:37,288
(gasps)
460
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,423
Homer?
461
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,691
I'm sorry, Apu.
462
00:18:39,726 --> 00:18:41,092
I thought you were
living your dream life,
463
00:18:41,128 --> 00:18:42,827
so naturally
I wanted to ruin it.
464
00:18:42,863 --> 00:18:44,929
But now I know things stink,
465
00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:47,031
so I'm okay with it.
466
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:48,433
Oh, what is
the point?
467
00:18:48,468 --> 00:18:51,503
I am trapped like a Kwik-E-Mart
hot dog on a roller.
468
00:18:51,538 --> 00:18:54,139
Kwik-E-Mart hot dog, eh?
469
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,241
You want every hot dog
in the store?
470
00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:57,442
Every one?
471
00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:58,843
Okay...
472
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:11,289
- Yeah! - Yeah.
- Oh! -Yeah!
473
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,525
FORUM ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
474
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,361
Tucks Medicated Pads presents...
475
00:19:16,396 --> 00:19:18,196
Sungazer!
476
00:19:18,231 --> 00:19:20,832
(cheering) Yeah!
All right!
477
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,335
Uh, people?
478
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,836
I am sorry to report
479
00:19:24,871 --> 00:19:27,172
that all the original
members of the band
480
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,640
have been struck down
481
00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:31,376
by a mysterious case
of hot dog poisoning.
482
00:19:31,411 --> 00:19:32,477
(groaning)
483
00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:34,245
Rather than refund your money
484
00:19:34,281 --> 00:19:35,880
or reschedule the show,
485
00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:37,549
we have a surprise for you.
486
00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:39,951
Get ready to rock with a group
487
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:43,788
that is truly all about
the music-- Covercraft!
488
00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:45,824
♪ ♪
489
00:19:47,994 --> 00:19:51,229
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
490
00:19:51,264 --> 00:19:52,397
♪ Hopin' ♪
491
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,499
♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪
492
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:56,668
♪ I'll keep fighting ♪
493
00:19:56,703 --> 00:19:58,970
♪ Till I want something great ♪
494
00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:01,506
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
495
00:20:03,777 --> 00:20:07,178
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
(audience cheering)
496
00:20:07,214 --> 00:20:08,446
♪ Hopin' ♪
497
00:20:08,481 --> 00:20:11,182
♪ To someday,
somehow have a goal ♪
498
00:20:11,218 --> 00:20:14,519
♪ I'll keep fighting
till I want something great ♪
499
00:20:14,554 --> 00:20:16,521
♪ I'm hopin' for a dream ♪
500
00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:19,557
♪ Hopin', hopin', hopin' ♪
501
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:23,261
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
502
00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:24,362
♪ Hopin' ♪
503
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,865
♪ Dreams are great
or so it seems ♪
504
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:30,702
♪ If I never find one
I guess that's okay ♪
505
00:20:30,737 --> 00:20:33,605
♪ I'm hopin' for a dream... ♪
♪ Hopin', hopin', hopin' ♪
506
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,607
♪ Hopin' for a dream, oh... ♪
507
00:20:35,642 --> 00:20:42,142
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
508
00:20:44,549 --> 00:20:46,879
So there I am, on Easter Island,
509
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,948
and the heads ask me
to play them a song.
510
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,883
I say, "Why me, heads?
511
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,419
You've heard the music
of the universe itself."
512
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,887
And they say, "Sammy,
513
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,856
your stuff rocks
just a little harder."
514
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,524
That's when I wake up.
515
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,893
I'm in the Springfield
Elementary parking lot,
516
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:04,397
doing a buck fifty-five
in my Ferrari 512 Boxer.
517
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,765
I was cornering so hard,
518
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:07,400
I blacked out
from the Gs, man.
519
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,669
They say I ran over
the groundskeeper.
520
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:11,404
Probably get life in prison.
521
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,738
But I got a plan to escape,
522
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,407
using only this harmonica
523
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,409
and some guitar picks
with my face on 'em.
524
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,444
Who's with me on this?
525
00:21:25,541 --> 00:21:28,940
(Hagar laughing)