1
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The Simpsons.

2
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Ha ha! Welcome back to Pigskin Preview!

3
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- Denver/Green Bay... Who do you like?
- That's football, right?

4
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Well, I'm gonna take
the Broncos in this game

5
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'cause the Packers will be
blinded by Jerry's tie.

6
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Tremendous.

7
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I'm more worried about Al's jacket.

8
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How many stations
can you get on that thing?

9
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All right. Listen. I am sick
of your jokes about the wardrobe!

10
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You people can dress yourselves!

11
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Well, folks, he's got a point.

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Uh, with all our unscripted horseplay,
we sometimes don't think about-

13
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Lenny, are you watching this?

14
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Yeah.
They really hurt that guy's feelings.

15
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I know!

16
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- Ready for the circus, Homer?
- Circus?

17
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The Cirque de Puree.
We've had tickets since Septembre.

18
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But I want to watch Brett Favre!

19
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Come on, Homer.
They're only in town for eight months.

20
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Then they're gone.

21
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Oh! I missed one of Jerry's zingers.
Now I'll never catch up.

22
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Finally, a circus
full of whimsy and wonder.

23
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Oh, yeah. That's way better
than fun and excitement.

24
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As French Canadians,
they don't believe in refunds

25
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or exploiting animals for entertainment.

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Oh! I wanted to see 'em fire
a gorilla out of a cannon.

27
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Enjoy the show. For one day, we shall die.

28
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Stop! Wait! Wait! Attendez!

29
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I cannot get the lid
off my jar of rainbows!

30
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Who will help me? You, sir?

31
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But I cannot help you.

32
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I am just a local merchant
from, uh, this town.

33
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Just smash it open!

34
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Oh, you can do it if your heart is pure...

35
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Or... purée.

36
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They always pick the guy with the wires.

37
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Oh, look at those exotic positions.

38
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Watching those women is giving me ideas.

39
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They made an elephant!

40
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It's hauntingly beautiful, isn't it?

41
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A storm is coming!

42
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I feel it in my bone!

43
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Mesdames et messieurs,

44
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it appears the Cloud Goddess
is ripe with rain babies.

45
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We must run for our trucks!

46
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Oh, no, you don't!
I paid full price for this freak show!

47
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Now, nourish the child within me!

48
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Nourish!

49
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Un, deux, trois!

50
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Well, sir,
we've got ourselves a classic nor'easter

51
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meeting a classic sou'wester.

52
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Overnight, expect rain
turning to freezing rain,

53
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turning to sleet turning to snow...

54
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- and then melting in the summer.
- Snow?

55
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Maybe they'll cancel school!

56
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,123
Look. The sea captain's all hunkered down!

57
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Arr! Help.
I was tied here by teenage pirates.

58
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The following schools
are closed today, Shelbyville, Ogdenville.

59
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Ogdenville Tech,
and Springfield Elementary...

60
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My Dear Watson Detective School.

61
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And lastly,
Springfield Elementary School...

62
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- Yay!
- Yay!

63
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...is open.

64
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And it's open season on savings
at Springfield Menswear, which is closed.

65
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- Oh! Everyone's off but us.
- Oh, stop.

66
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Your father and I don't get the day off.

67
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Lenny says we've got the day off! Yippee!

68
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One snow angel coming up!

69
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Oh, why does that always happen?

70
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Since we've no place to go.

71
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Let it snow
let it snow, let it snow.

72
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Man. Everyone has a snow day but us.

73
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Oh! They look wonderful!

74
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Ah! Yeah!

75
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Ah, yeah, Clancy.

76
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Spell your name.

77
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Uh, hey, Luke, could you shake out
the last few drops for me?

78
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Yeah, no problem, Chief.

79
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Seems like a waste of coffee, though.

80
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Children, I'm proud of you.

81
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Most of our students
didn't bother to show up

82
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on this last day before Christmas break.

83
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But you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like
streak of school openage.

84
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Hey, where are the teachers?

85
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Eh, their union just called
an emergency caucus.

86
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Caucus, caucus, caucus
Caucus, caucus, caucus.

87
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But we'll have the last laugh
on those Johnny-Come-Not-Lies.

88
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We're gonna watch my favorite movie
about a Grinch-y little character

89
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who tries to steal Christmas.

90
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Ho, ho, ho. What's that, Blitzen?

91
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Why, yes, it is Christmas Eve.

92
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I'm happy.

93
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It's the Christmas hobgoblins!

94
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What the hell is this?

95
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It's classic mirth-making, is what it is.

96
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I will always be true.

97
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Spend my days pitching woo to you.

98
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Oh! He's been singing for two hours!

99
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This couldn't have less
to do with Christmas.

100
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And I think that's a stagehand.

101
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And I love you, too

102
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I am you and you are you.

103
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Oh, you and me together you can see.

104
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Ha-ha! Next time get a DVD!

105
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This is a DVD!

106
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Well, you won't get to see
Santa's big sing-off

107
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but seeing as we're close
to the usual dismissal time...

108
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Two, one...

109
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There it is.

110
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Take off and have a frank
and productive holiday.

111
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- Oh, dear God!
- Principal Skinner!

112
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We're snowed in!

113
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We're trapped in the school!

114
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We're gonna miss Christmas!

115
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I fixed the DVD.

116
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Roads closed. Pipes frozen.

117
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Albinos virtually invisible.

118
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The Weather Service has upgraded
Springfield's blizzard

119
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from winter wonderland
to a class-three kill storm.

120
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I don't like the sound
of that "class-three."

121
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And where are the city's snowplows?

122
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Sold off to billionaire
Montgomery Burns

123
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in a veritable orgasm of poor planning.

124
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- He shoots! He scores!
- Perfect form, sir.

125
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This is terrible!
How will the kids get home?

126
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I don't know. Internet?

127
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Children, it seems
the phone lines are down

128
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so I'm afraid we're stuck
here for the duration.

129
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- Aww!
- But it's my kid's birthday.

130
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I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama,
and she'll finish without me.

131
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Yes, yes, yes. We all had plans.

132
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Except for me, ironically.
I'm right where I want to be.

133
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I can cut a trail through the snow.
I'm part Eskimo.

134
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I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi.
No one leaves the building.

135
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This stinks.
We'll miss the Itchy and Scratchy

136
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where they finally kiss.

137
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I don't care if they're kissing
Kristi Yamaguchi. You're not going home!

138
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- That's so unfair!
- This blows.

139
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Skinner's the real Grinch!

140
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I'm all for rescuing the kids

141
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but I wish you hadn't sawed off my roof.

142
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My car, your roof. It's only fair.

143
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- B... But it's my car.
- Well, yeah.

144
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Hey, whatever happened to the plow
from your old snowplow business?

145
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:54,135
- I never had a snowplow business.
- Sure, you did. "Mr. Plow."

146
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You're wearing the jacket right now.

147
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,889
I think I know my own life, Ned.

148
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Call Mr. Plow
That's my name.

149
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That name again is Mr. Plow.

150
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I'm so hungry. I want more.

151
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You heard the principal.

152
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Everyone gets one apple
and a handful of relish!

153
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If you don't eat your relish,
you're not getting any mayonnaise.

154
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,873
Screw this. The rest of you can stay here
like dorks, but I'm going home.

155
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,958
Go, Nelson!

156
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:38,346
Well, I hope you've all learned something
from Nelson's "headstrongedness."

157
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- And from now on...
- We want out!

158
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,851
- We want out! We want out!
- Uh...

159
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- We want out!
- Yeesh! It's getting ugly out there.

160
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,941
Mmm. Think, Skinner, think.

161
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What would Superintendent Chalmers do?

162
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- Skinner!
- Eh, that's no help.

163
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Mmm. Ah! My old footlocker.

164
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,788
Back in 'Nam,
I could command respect.

165
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,335
Sarge, let's make a break for it while
the guards are partying with Jane Fonda.

166
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:13,464
Nope. Too dangerous. We're all gonna
sit tight and reminisce about candy bars.

167
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:17,385
Uh, well, uh, one time,
I'm eating a candy bar at the beach

168
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,428
and a girl starts taking off
her bathing suit...

169
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,846
Get back to the candy bar!

170
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,641
The hell with this.
I'm gettin' outta here!

171
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,142
No, you fool!

172
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,693
That elephant ate my entire platoon.

173
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,195
Well, I'm not gonna let it happen again!

174
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,492
Children, stand down!

175
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:44,078
I said, stand down!

176
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,748
I'm not joking, people.

177
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,001
From now on, there will be no
talking out of turn or leaving this room.

178
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,837
- Willie?
- Aye, sir!

179
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,091
- This sucks!
- Are you questioning my authority?

180
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,175
Willie!

181
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,679
Ow! My vest.

182
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,889
Don't just stand there. Fight back.

183
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,016
There aren't enough coat hooks
to hold all of us!

184
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:09,854
Actually there are. Five, 10, 15, 20...
Uh, can you two share a hook?

185
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,731
- Yes, sir.
- We're fine then.

186
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:21,115
- I think we hit something.
- I hope it's Flanders.

187
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,201
I'm just kidding! Hey, you're all right.

188
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:32,084
Ah, now, children, if you have to answer
nature's call during the night,

189
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,754
- use this bucket next to Bart's head.
- Hey!

190
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,380
All right. Lights out.

191
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,842
I'm tired of taking orders from G.I. Jerk!

192
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,927
- I'm gonna tunnel out of here!
- No, Bart.

193
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,929
For all we know,
hundreds of rescue workers

194
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,765
are digging us out right now.

195
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,986
I feel like making love.

196
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,781
Making love to you.

197
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,786
Catchy song, all right.
You really wrote it?

198
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,663
Yeah. As a tribute to Princess Di.

199
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,708
And Dodi. Because these days, princesses...

200
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:19,340
We're trapped!

201
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,724
Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep
without my Reggie Rabbit.

202
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,727
- Is that some sort of plush novelty?
- Yes, ma'am.

203
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,104
Well, here's a scouring pad.
It's just as good.

204
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,941
It's cold and hurt-y.

205
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,528
Uh... What the...

206
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,408
A tunnel!

207
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,619
Bart's digging us out!

208
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:52,706
- Not on my watch he's not!
- Oh, no!

209
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,834
I know it looks like the path to freedom.

210
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,795
But one collapse, and presto...
You've got a snow casket.

211
00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,630
I was gonna put buttresses in.

212
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,967
Gonna, wanna, shoulda. Willie, destroy it.

213
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,347
He did do a bonny job, sir.

214
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:13,435
Defying orders, eh? Well, I see you
Scotsmen are thrifty with courage, too.

215
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,104
OK, Skinner.

216
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,858
That's the last time
you'll slap your Willie around.

217
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,278
- I quit!
- Fine. I'll do the job myself.

218
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,200
Help! It's caving in!

219
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:32,246
What's the problem, Seymour? Stuck?

220
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,498
That's precisely the problem,
and you know it.

221
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,126
- Now, get me out of here!
- What's that?

222
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,838
- You want the pee bucket on your head?
- No! You're twisting my words!

223
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,384
Come on!
We're taking over the school!

224
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,142
That's it! Cinch it up around the neck.

225
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,979
This is a gross misuse of school property.

226
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,940
Where are the dodge balls? Ow!

227
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,028
All right. That's it.

228
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,781
I'm writing all your names
on the detention list in my mind.

229
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,242
Silence, Seymour! We're in charge now.

230
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,328
Your reign of fussiness is over.

231
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,080
Attention.
The school is now under kid control.

232
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,166
You are hereby ordered to go nuts!

233
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,480
Aw, stupid ice!

234
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,941
I always knew I would die
caked in something.

235
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,736
Well, better turn off that engine
before those fumes put us in tombs.

236
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,072
Wait. Let's just leave it on...

237
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,990
till we forget our troubles.

238
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,284
Mm, sounds like a plan.

239
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,123
I can't write this.
It's a grammatical nightmare.

240
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,377
- Mau! Didi mau!
- I'm getting a cramp in my wrist!

241
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,213
Oh, boo-hoo.
After all the times I've done it,

242
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,341
my wrist sounds like a cement mixer.

243
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,806
Come on, Seymour.

244
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,891
Mau! Didi mau!

245
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,353
I told you no one can climb a rope.
It's physically impossible.

246
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,398
What part of didi mau
don't you understand?

247
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,694
Nelson, put that globe down!
Milhouse, stay out of my desk!

248
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,779
Jimbo, that's my Princey Award!

249
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,198
Quiet, Principal Spinner!

250
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,075
Whoa!

251
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,952
Hey, I got Skinner's key card!

252
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,413
We can finally see our permanent records!

253
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,581
No! You can't go in there!

254
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:47,381
"Underachiever and proud of it."
How old is this thing?

255
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:52,511
"Lisa is an outstanding student with
a slight tendency toward know-it-all-ism"?

256
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,389
That's not even a word!

257
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,808
Then we'll get rid
of the record permanently!

258
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,316
Hey, look how much Skinner makes.

259
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,112
- Twenty-five thousand dollars a year!
- Wow!

260
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,199
Let's see. He's 40 years old,
times 25 grand.

261
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,870
- Whoa! He's a millionaire!
- Wow!

262
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,997
I wasn't a principal when I was one!

263
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,916
Plus, in the summer, he paints houses!

264
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,961
- He's a billionaire!
- Wow!

265
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,797
If I were a billionaire,
why would I be living with my mother?

266
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,093
Oh, they're just not responding
to logic anymore.

267
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,345
I'll never win this alone.

268
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,069
There's only one guy who can help me now.

269
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,063
Look! I'm throwing paper!

270
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,238
You're my only hope, Nibbles.

271
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,083
Godspeed, Nibbles. Godspeed.

272
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,128
Aw, nuts.

273
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:12,382
There you are! Falcon to Eagle.
Have located bag-of-crap.

274
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,693
Nelson, if you get me out of this,

275
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,345
there's a hall monitor position
coming open in the spring.

276
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,180
I spit on your monitors!

277
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,057
I know.
That's why the position's available.

278
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,191
Marvelous! Marvelous!

279
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:33,403
Enough! I grow weary
of your sexually suggestive dancing.

280
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,864
Bring me my ranch dressing hose!

281
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,582
Homer? Homer!

282
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:50,337
- Homer, wake up! The car's filling with...
- I know. Ranch dressing.

283
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,632
A hamster ball!

284
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,884
Just like the one that saved Ezekiel!

285
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,640
We're free!
And we've got something to eat!

286
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:11,066
- Whoo-hoo!
- Now, let's go save those kids!

287
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,778
You're the camel!
Hey, this car's got cruise control.

288
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,445
School, please.

289
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,699
Dee-dee-dee
da-da-dum.

290
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,368
Homer, that's not how it...

291
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,000
It's happening. My horoscope was right!

292
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:35,174
So long, Johnny Tremain.
Your Newberry Award won't save you now!

293
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:38,468
Not Huck Finn! I spent hours
crossing out the sass-back!

294
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,763
- We're gonna crash!
- Do you have air bags?

295
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,308
No! The church opposes them
for some reason!

296
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:59,448
- What was that?
- It sounded like a silo tipping over.

297
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,245
Look! The snow's melting!

298
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:10,375
With a little help from our friend,
sodium chloride!

299
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,346
Dad!

300
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:31,313
You did it, Nibbles!
Now, chew through my ball sack.

301
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,526
- Skinner!
- Oh! Superintendent Chalmers!

302
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,529
What are you doing in that
ridiculous duffel, Seymour?

303
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,157
And is that burning literature I smell?

304
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,910
Uh... Well, sir, I, uh...

305
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,538
There'd better be a good
explanation for this.

306
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:51,500
- There is, sir.
- Ah! Then I'm happy.

307
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,046
Bart, if there's one thing I'm good at...

308
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,382
it's pretending things didn't happen.

309
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,175
And I think this is one of those.

310
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,552
- One of which?
- Exactly.

311
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,680
No, seriously. I wasn't listening.

312
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,058
- One of those situations where...
- Gotcha!

313
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:14,314
Come on, kids. Let's leave this
awful place and never come back.

314
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,070
Boy, that salt really ate through the car.

315
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,073
- And the exhaust pipe is leaking.
- Wha...

316
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:28,078
And furthermore...

317
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,539
Ignore her, Effendi. We have each other.

318
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,041
Oh, baby.

319
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,628
No use struggling,
my beloved Shelamela.

320
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,880
Merry Christmas from the Simpsons!

321
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,185
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