1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,589
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,797
Now, remember,
we have to leave nature

3
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,340
just the way we found it.

4
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,759
Everything we pack in, we pack out.

5
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,594
What if I have to do my business?

6
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,012
Use this plastic bag.

7
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,139
Oh, how come bears
can crap in the woods

8
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,223
and I can't?

9
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:48,108
Ah, we're so lucky to have
this untouched piece of paradise

10
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,567
so close to Springfield.

11
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,654
Bees!

12
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,490
They sound angry and Africanized.

13
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:56,950
OK, nobody panic.

14
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,535
There's plenty of spray for me.

15
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,627
That doesn't sound like bees.

16
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,171
Oh, my god!

17
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,714
It's a racetrack.

18
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,135
The bird sanctuary.

19
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,386
They ruined it.

20
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,012
No, they didn't.

21
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:21,266
They just surrounded it
with something wonderful.

22
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,768
Like a raisin covered in chocolate.

23
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,062
Or a monkey in a cowboy suit.

24
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:28,981
Whoa!

25
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,567
Whoa!

26
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,073
See?
Animals can get used to anything.

27
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,704
Start your engines!

28
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,873
Show us your boobs.
Show us your boobs.

29
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,208
Oh, you better do
what he says, Marge.

30
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,589
Cool!

31
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,591
Way to adapt, little guy.

32
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,303
Why do jerks think everyone wants

33
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,138
to see their stupid name?

34
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,691
Sorry to break up your picnic, folks.

35
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,068
I'm two-time
fast car champ Clay Babcock.

36
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,486
You're on fire!

37
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:16,839
Yeah, I have won a lot of races,

38
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,615
but it's all thanks to my crew, really.

39
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,491
Eh! Ah! Hoo! There it is.

40
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,285
Mr. Babcock, can I take a ride
in you car?

41
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,995
Well, my "A" car was just incinerated,

42
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,663
but, uh, you could ride in my "B" car.

43
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,833
I don't see why not.

44
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,086
Bart, these are the time trials

45
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,172
that determine the pole position.

46
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,025
Shouldn't you be keeping
your hands on the wheel?

47
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,342
Oh, sure, if you want to drive

48
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,219
the traditional way.

49
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,221
- Whoa!
- Sorry.

50
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,806
Boy, these cars are surprisingly roomy.

51
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,490
Yeah, we like to bring
our families along

52
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:46,726
on the longer races.

53
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,937
If I get tired, I let my wife drive.

54
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,020
She's good.

55
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,148
Get your feet off the upholstery.

56
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,682
Folks, I got some spare tickets

57
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,338
if you'd like
to stick around for the race.

58
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,362
That's very sweet,

59
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,490
but we have a full day
of hiking planned.

60
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,866
We can hike anytime.

61
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,452
This is our chance to see cars driving.

62
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,541
Hi-diddly-ho,
pedal-to-the-metal-o-philes.

63
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,336
Flanders? Since when do you like
anything cool?

64
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,837
Well, I don't care for the speed,

65
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,257
but I can't get enough
of that safety gear.

66
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,300
Helmets, roll bars, caution flags.

67
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,843
I like the fresh air

68
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,179
and looking at
the poor people in the infield.

69
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,767
Dang, Cletus!

70
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,644
Why did you have to park
by my parents?

71
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:32,730
Now, honey, they's my parents, too.

72
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,109
Gentlemen,

73
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,945
start your engines!

74
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,364
Daddy, can we move closer?

75
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,116
Abso-not-ly, hot-roddy.

76
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,799
We're up here out of range
of the crashes

77
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,077
and the drivers cussing.

78
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,829
- Move your damn butt!
- Bite me!

79
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,635
Come on! Somebody crash!

80
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,470
Be patient, son.

81
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,848
A watched car never crashes.

82
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,100
Oh, I missed one!

83
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,562
Let's go! Let's go!

84
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,108
The dice! The dice! The dice!

85
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,071
Eight seconds. Great job, boys.

86
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,871
Let's go! New tires! Come on! Come on!

87
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,123
We're going as fast as we can.

88
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,206
Hey, who are you?

89
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,084
Oh, how rude of me.
My name is...

90
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,796
My bad.

91
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,466
And now,

92
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,676
here's something for the guys.

93
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:44,969
Finally.

94
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,596
Let's hear it

95
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:50,433
for Fan-demonium!

96
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,310
Hey, racing fans,

97
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,146
who wants a free t-shirt?

98
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,398
Me, me.

99
00:05:58,649 --> 00:05:59,984
I do, I do.

100
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,487
Wait. No, I don't.

101
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,703
Hmm. A Ford
urinating on a Chevrolet.

102
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,747
Don't you usually laugh at everything?

103
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,375
Yes. Yes, I do.

104
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,667
Come on! Right here!

105
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,796
I'm OK, folks.

106
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,423
I need a shirt!

107
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:23,591
Give me a shirt!

108
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,301
Mommy has bosoms like that.

109
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,803
Yeah, I wish.

110
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,180
Neddy, I've had about all I can take

111
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:30,765
of Homer Simpson's torso.

112
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:31,933
I'll get some hot dogs.

113
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,184
No foot-longs.

114
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,185
I know.

115
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,520
They make you uncomfortable.

116
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,148
Well, I guess no one else

117
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,733
wants a t-shirt.

118
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,860
That's a damn lie and you know it!

119
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,070
Give me a shirt!

120
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,988
You heard him, girls.

121
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,744
Hey, t-shirt, t-shirt, t-shirt!

122
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,161
Fire!

123
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,082
Ooh! A bobby pin.

124
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,379
Maude?

125
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,344
Oh, my lord! She's dead.

126
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,601
It's hard to believe

127
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,895
we're never going
to see Maude again.

128
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,982
And poor Ned didn't get a chance
to say good-bye.

129
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,443
Well, from now on, I'm never going
to let you leave the room

130
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,403
without telling you
how much I love you

131
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,488
and how truly special...

132
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,240
This is really eating up a lot time.

133
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,533
Maybe just a pat on the butt.

134
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,034
Yeah, that works.

135
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,663
Now, Homie, you know
Ned and the boys need us

136
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,373
and you know what that means.

137
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,499
I know.

138
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,209
No more being a jerk.

139
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,293
That's right.

140
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:58,728
In many ways, Maude Flanders
was a supporting player

141
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,271
in our lives.

142
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,190
She didn't grab our attention

143
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,358
with memorable catch phrases,

144
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,444
or comical accents.

145
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,862
- Aye.
- Arrgh.

146
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,326
But whether
you noticed her or not,

147
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:16,162
Maude was always there.

148
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,040
And we thought she always would be.

149
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,542
My friends, life is about change.

150
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,921
Just yesterday,
Apu was a lonely bachelor.

151
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,257
Yes, thank God, those days are over.

152
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,343
And the Van Houtens were enjoying

153
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,178
a storybook marriage.

154
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:35,139
Yeah. Lots of storybooks
have witches.

155
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,766
- Shut up, Kirk.
- Sorry.

156
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,768
And now the good people
at Fan-demonium,

157
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,078
as part of a generous settlement

158
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,605
will fire a 21 t-shirt salute.

159
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:54,908
Finally!

160
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,168
Ned, my friend, please know
that the Kwik-E-Mart

161
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,420
is there for you 24 hours a day.

162
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,548
Oh, thank you, Apu.

163
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,007
And I'm going to give you

164
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,176
all of Maude's
frequent-squishee points.

165
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,303
The boys at headquarters
will not like it,

166
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,098
but I'm getting pretty sick
of them and their Bombay attitude.

167
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,432
Yeah, that's enough there, 'pu.

168
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,268
Look, Ned, I know
we ain't hung out much,

169
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,270
uh, what with your insane fear
of drinking,

170
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,313
and me being banned
from the church and all,

171
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,233
but, uh, but that Maude,
she was really something.

172
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,902
Oh, wasn't she? Thank you, Moe.
I appreciate that.

173
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,088
No, I really mean it, though.

174
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,530
I mean, if it was you that died,

175
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,198
I would have been on her so fast.

176
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,282
What are you saying?

177
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,701
What? Nothing. She was hot!

178
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,095
What, you can't take a compliment?

179
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,162
You said "hot." You monster!

180
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,915
That's good. Now, let it out.

181
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,041
That's it. Let it out.

182
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,042
Send me to Maude.

183
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,335
That's it! Ah.

184
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,254
Oh, here I come, baby! Oh, yeah!

185
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,302
Bart? Honey, I think you should go play

186
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,720
with Rod and Todd.

187
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,933
Aw, man, why does everything bad
have to happen to me?

188
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,269
When I'm feeling low,

189
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,062
you know what always cheers me up?

190
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,814
Is it love?

191
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:07,940
Kindness?

192
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,692
Ooh, tough room.

193
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,902
Video games! What do you got?

194
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,071
"Billy Graham's Bible Blaster"?

195
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,617
Keep firing! Convert the heathens!

196
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,706
- Got him.
- No, you just winged him

197
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,249
and made him a Unitarian.

198
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,169
Look out, Bart! The gentle Baha'i!

199
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,006
All right! Full conversion.

200
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,799
Thanks, guys.
This really cheered me up.

201
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,885
Second coming. Reload, reload.

202
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,720
Can we play now?

203
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,555
You are playing. We're a team.

204
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,266
- Yay!
- Yay!

205
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,438
Now, if there's anything,
anything at all

206
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,856
I can do to help out.

207
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,024
Quit hogging Flanders.

208
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,275
I want to comfort him.

209
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,319
That's nice of you, Homer,

210
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,863
but... I think
I'll just go to bed.

211
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,032
Then I insist on walking you home.

212
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,326
Homer, this really isn't necessary.

213
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,495
Those feelings are normal, Ned.

214
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,163
They're part of the process.

215
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,247
Watch the sprinkler.

216
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,166
Hey, that's my sprinkler.

217
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,085
It's natural to feel that way,

218
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,711
but the sprinkler is gone.

219
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:11,879
It's time to let go.

220
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,631
I just bought that.

221
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,132
I know, I know.

222
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,676
It's never easy.

223
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,011
Do you want anything else?
Water? Chili fries?

224
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,155
How about some white noise?

225
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,056
Oh, Homer...

226
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,516
...you don't have to...

227
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,522
Sleep tight, Neddie.

228
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,865
Ah... What the...

229
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:44,620
Oh, you want a rock fight, eh?

230
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,872
No, Homer! I just need to talk.

231
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,541
OK, be right down.

232
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,089
I just keep replaying
the whole thing in my head.

233
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,967
I can't believe
my last words to Maude

234
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,010
were "no foot-longs."

235
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,054
Yep, it would have been a lot better

236
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,432
if you'd said "I love you"
or "you're special".

237
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,851
You know, something sweet
instead of that hot dog crap.

238
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,936
If I'd only been a gentleman

239
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,105
and got the hot dogs myself,

240
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,982
she'd still be here.

241
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,151
Now, now, now,
don't beat yourself up.

242
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,319
I'm the one
who drove her out of her seat.

243
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,406
I'm the one who provoked
the lethal barrage of t-shirts.

244
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,408
I'm the one who parked
in the ambulance zone

245
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,660
preventing any possible resuscitation.

246
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,872
Ah, but, uh, there's no point
in playing the blame game.

247
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,123
Eh, you're right.

248
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,751
I just got to work
through the grief.

249
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,961
There's not going to be
an easy answer.

250
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,921
Easy answer, eh?

251
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,136
Oh, yeah, that's it, baby.

252
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,262
That's the money shot.

253
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,805
Yeah, the camera loves you.

254
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,308
Oh-ho-ho, you tease, you.

255
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,351
Why are you taping Flanders, Dad?

256
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,686
You'll see.

257
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,605
Do you even have a job anymore?

258
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,357
I think it's pretty obvious that I don't.

259
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,861
OK, I finished
the gardening sequence.

260
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,321
OK, from here, we star-wipe

261
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,989
to a glamor shot of Flanders

262
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,824
paying his bills...

263
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,368
...then we star-wipe to Flanders
brushing his...

264
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,830
Dad, there are other wipes
beside star-wipes.

265
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,291
Why eat hamburger
when you can have steak?

266
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,251
I'm taking my name off this thing.

267
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,545
So, how you doing, Ned?

268
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,339
Oh, it's been
a hard couple of months,

269
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,132
but I feel like I've turned a corner.

270
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,884
Well, that's all going to change,

271
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,386
- thanks to this tape.
- Tape?

272
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,846
Now, the audio needs
some tweaking

273
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,723
and there's some footage
of Maggie being born

274
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,867
that I couldn't get rid of...

275
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:29,934
Anyway, enjoy.

276
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,103
Single women of Springfield,

277
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,564
your prayers
have been flan-swered...

278
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,818
Ned Flan-swered, that is.

279
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,320
- Is this a dating video?
- Shush.

280
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:42,422
What would you say
about a man

281
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,491
who owns his own house
and his own car?

282
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,701
That's Ned Flanders...

283
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,497
a man who's not afraid to cry.

284
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,581
Hey, Ned!

285
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,459
So that's why you maced me.

286
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,961
Yeah.

287
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,004
Ned does everything with class.

288
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,090
Whether he's punching in
his ATM code...

289
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,511
or keeping clean in the shower.

290
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:06,594
Homer!

291
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,305
But don't take
my word for it.

292
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,391
Listen to this testimonial.

293
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,892
Oh, I would date Ned in a second

294
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,811
if I was a woman, or gay.

295
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,604
He looks like a cuddler, that Ned.

296
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,814
I... I like that.

297
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,358
I like to be held,
I like to be pampered...

298
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,321
So if you're tired
of dating the same old losers...

299
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,239
What are you doing, Homer?

300
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,490
Step up to the best.

301
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,994
Ned Flanders,
the man with the chest.

302
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,168
Now, we'll just send this
to the dating service,

303
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,671
the chicks'll fall for you, and bam!

304
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,381
The healing begins.

305
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,510
Homer, you obviously went
to a lot of trouble, but dating?

306
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,721
It just feels way too soon.

307
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,265
Oh-ho-ho, that's great!

308
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,475
Chicks really dig sensitivity.

309
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,435
Did you get that, Bart?

310
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:57,062
- Got it.
- Beautiful. And star-wipe

311
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,856
and we're out.

312
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,778
Well, with triple word score, that's 90.

313
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:08,782
I guess my luck
is starting to even out.

314
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,577
Ah, I'm just a Q without a U.

315
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:31,679
Hello?

316
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:32,972
Mailman?

317
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,230
These are the women
who saw your videotape

318
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,314
and are interested.

319
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,442
And feel free to root around
In the one-nighter bin.

320
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,861
The bin is spoken for.

321
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,529
Are you going to call all those women?

322
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,282
No, the tapes will do just fine,
thank you.

323
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,742
Homer, I'm having second thoughts.

324
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,119
This feels so disloyal to Maude.

325
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,704
Oh, wake up, Ned.

326
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,539
You think Maude
isn't dating in heaven?

327
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,457
You think she would?

328
00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,625
How could she not.

329
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,961
The place is full of eligible bachelors.

330
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,798
John Wayne, Tupac Shakur,
Sherlock Holmes...

331
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,050
Sherlock Holmes
was just a character.

332
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,343
He sure is.

333
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,262
OK, here goes nothing.

334
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:14,640
If you select me,

335
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,600
you'll get a lot more
than a Wharton MBA

336
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,227
pulling in 200K.

337
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,813
You'll get a woman
who's poised, articulate,

338
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,398
sophisticated, confident,

339
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:23,816
and highly sexual.

340
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,025
Hang on, I'm getting a fax.

341
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,445
Damn, I've just been indicted.

342
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,173
Looks like we're going to have
to reschedule.

343
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,657
- How's your July?
- Well, I...

344
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,492
Mine's terrible. Let's talk in August.

345
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,666
Dinner was delicious, Edna.

346
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,418
But I can't shake the feeling

347
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,669
that you're just using me

348
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,462
to get Principal Skinner jealous.

349
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,006
Oh, please.

350
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,843
I don't care what
Mr. Engaged-to-be-engaged thinks.

351
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:51,760
Hear that, Seymour?

352
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,178
Edna, this is childish.

353
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,262
Fine, then hang up.

354
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,181
I will hang up when he leaves.

355
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,145
Well, Diane,
I've sure enjoyed chatting with you

356
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,730
about your problems
with your mother.

357
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,982
Did you hear that, Foofie?

358
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,859
Sounds like somebody loves us.

359
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,444
Yes, he does.

360
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,572
Yeah, well, maybe
I'll call you again sometime.

361
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:15,159
Ooh, Foofie doesn't like
the sound of that "maybe"

362
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,578
'cause him's a commitment dog.

363
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:18,912
Isn't him?

364
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,379
So how'd you do tonight, Romeo?

365
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,424
Well, I just can't relate
to the women of today, Homer.

366
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:31,841
Ah, it's probably me.

367
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,053
I'm about as exciting
as a baked potato.

368
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,055
You're darn right you are.

369
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,557
And you've got lots
of other great qualities, too.

370
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,808
That's right, Ned.

371
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,978
Those floozies we married
in Vegas were crazy about you.

372
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,980
What floozies?
What are you talking...

373
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,399
Marge, we're trying to help Ned.

374
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,027
Lord, I never question you,

375
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:50,944
but I've been wondering

376
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:53,280
if your decision to take Maude was...

377
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,199
well, wrong.

378
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,410
Unless this is part of your divine plan.

379
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,121
Oh... could you just give me
some kind of sign?

380
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:03,706
Anything?

381
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,212
Oh, and after all that
church chocolate I bought,

382
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,048
which by the way, was gritty

383
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,634
and had that white stuff on it.

384
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:14,717
Well, I've had it.

385
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,353
Daddy, get up.
You'll be late for church.

386
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,063
Well, you boys can go
with the Simpsons.

387
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,439
I'm not going to church today.

388
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,066
That's right.

389
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,151
And I may not go
to church tomorrow.

390
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,364
No, I'm not kidding.

391
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,699
I am going to sit right here
and miss church.

392
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,160
You just watch.

393
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,580
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

394
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:48,961
While our organist
is on a much-needed vacation,

395
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,546
we thought we'd try something new.

396
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,840
So get down
and put your knees together

397
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,969
for the Christian Rock Stylings
of... Kovenant.

398
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,100
Hey, isn't that
the bass player from Satanica?

399
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,810
I think it is.

400
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,608
Electric guitars in church?

401
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,609
Oh, my gosh.

402
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,903
Some dropouts must have
overpowered the reverend.

403
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,243
This is a love song about a dude
I met in a sleazy motel.

404
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,745
A dude named God.

405
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,376
In a motel room in Delacroix

406
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,753
I was drinkin'
like a Dartmouth boy.

407
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,006
And thinkin' 'bout
the wrong turns.

408
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,089
That I took.

409
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,094
Well, I woke up
on the puke-green floor.

410
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,388
And opened up
a dresser drawer.

411
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:45,684
A-lookin' for a bottle,
but instead I found a book.

412
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,561
She's talking about the Bible.

413
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:48,729
So? She's good-looking.

414
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,022
- Shut up.
- You shut up.

415
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,442
A book about a man.

416
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,570
A book about the dude
who lives above.

417
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,322
A book about a man.

418
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:03,410
Who drives a pickup
full of sweet, sweet love.

419
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,208
Now if you think
he doesn't care.

420
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,543
Or maybe that he isn't there.

421
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,922
It's not too late to see
how wrong you are.

422
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,759
So when your soul
has gone astray.

423
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,053
Just let God be your triple-a.

424
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,263
He'll tow you to salvation.

425
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,058
And he'll overhaul your heart.

426
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,272
Glad you made it, Ned.

427
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,982
I knew he would.

428
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:39,696
I'll be right back, boys.

429
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,031
I'm going to go help that lady.

430
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,158
Homer, you help, too.

431
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,744
I toileth not on ye sabbath, woman.

432
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,788
A pox on thee.

433
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,254
Ah, that was a lovely song.

434
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,089
It really got to me.

435
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,966
Been through
some rough times yourself?

436
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,009
I... I recently lost my wife.

437
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,595
I'm real sorry to hear that.

438
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,097
We just lost our drummer.

439
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,224
To a Pentecostal ska band.

440
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,947
Uh, I mean I know
it's not the same but...

441
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,176
No, I hear what you're saying.

442
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:12,062
It's always hard to replace someone.

443
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,272
Yeah.

444
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,856
My name's Rachel Jordan.

445
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,859
If you feel like talking,
maybe we could grab a coffee.

446
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,612
Well, that... that sounds
real nice, Rachel, but, uh...

447
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,948
I'm
I'm not quite...

448
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,366
I understand.

449
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,743
Listen, we're heading out on tour

450
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,829
with the Monsters of Christian Rock.

451
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:31,164
Maybe when we get back,
you and I could get together.

452
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,416
Maybe we can.

453
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,501
My name is Ned Flanders.

454
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,086
And I'm here every week.

455
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,547
Rain or shine.

456
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,263
It's a show about Ned.

457
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,391
About him losin' his sweet wife.

458
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,059
She landed on her head.

459
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:53,645
But now it's time to get on.

460
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,356
With his life.

461
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,266
Captioned by Visual Data Media Services