1
00:00:00,818 --> 00:00:04,446
Theorizing that one could time travel
within his own lifetime,
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,783
Dr. Sam Beckett stepped
into the Quantum Leap accelerator...
3
00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:09,785
and vanished.
4
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,252
He awoke to find himself
trapped in the past,
5
00:00:18,377 --> 00:00:21,338
facing mirror images
that were not his own...
6
00:00:21,463 --> 00:00:26,260
and driven by an unknown force
to change history for the better.
7
00:00:26,802 --> 00:00:31,306
His only guide on this journey is Al,
an observer from his own time,
8
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:35,978
who appears in the form of a hologram
that only Sam can see and hear.
9
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:40,315
And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself
leaping from life to life,
10
00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:44,153
striving to put right
what once went wrong...
11
00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:46,738
and hoping each time
that his next leap...
12
00:00:46,822 --> 00:00:48,699
will be the leap home.
13
00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:53,996
- Dad! Dad, you're home!
- Daddy! Daddy! You're here!
14
00:00:54,079 --> 00:00:56,874
Well, it's about time.
Mmm.
15
00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:01,378
Arriving passenger Martin Elroy,
please report to the courtesy desk.
16
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,505
- Martin Elroy.
- What's that about?
17
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,674
- What's what about?
- They just paged you.
18
00:01:05,757 --> 00:01:09,722
Oh. Well, I guess I was so excited
to see everybody, I didn't hear it.
19
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:14,641
Oh! Well, we'll get your bags and meet
you at the curb. But don't take too long.
20
00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:19,313
I've got a pot roast in the oven
and somethin' special for dessert.
21
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,524
- Come on.
- Welcome back, Daddy.
22
00:01:22,608 --> 00:01:27,905
Attention, please. This is the final
boarding call for flight 203 to Miami.
23
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,161
- Just a moment, please.
- You, uh--
24
00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:44,379
- Kids?
- Yea, Dad!
25
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,716
Oh, Daddy! Oh!
I missed you, Daddy! Mmm!
26
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,260
- Surprise!
- I missed you, Daddy.
27
00:01:50,928 --> 00:01:52,471
Oh, boy.
28
00:03:08,839 --> 00:03:10,924
Marty, aren't you glad to see us?
29
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:14,428
Yeah, I am. Sure.
I'm just a little surprised, that's all.
30
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:17,055
It got lonely in Brooklyn, baby.
31
00:03:17,139 --> 00:03:21,268
I know you're here on business, but the
kids hadn't seen you in such a long time.
32
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:24,021
So I checked your itinerary
and I figured,
33
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:27,774
if we piled into the station wagon
and drove down right away,
34
00:03:27,899 --> 00:03:30,402
we'd hit Florida just when you did.
35
00:03:30,527 --> 00:03:34,448
So, ta-da! Here we are.
36
00:03:34,865 --> 00:03:37,159
- Here they are.
- So where are we staying?
37
00:03:37,275 --> 00:03:40,778
Well, I haven't really, uh,
checked in yet. Everybody down.
38
00:03:40,912 --> 00:03:43,415
I recommend the Pompano Palace.
It's right on the beach.
39
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,394
I've been there over the years.
It's a nice place.
40
00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:47,348
The Pompano Palace on the
beach is really great.
41
00:03:47,373 --> 00:03:48,402
Yes! That's beautiful.
42
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,460
- You tell 'em that Al Calavicci sent you.
- And, um--
43
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,467
- And they'll treat you first class.
- Oh, the tropics make me hot.
44
00:03:53,592 --> 00:03:56,011
Just tell 'em
Al Calavicci sent you.
45
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,473
Sent me? What about you?
And who's Al Calavicci?
46
00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:02,309
That man.
He's standing right here.
47
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:05,479
And he's smoking a cigar.
Can't you see him?
48
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,898
- No.
- Uh-uh! No. No.
49
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:12,527
Uh, I'm Daddy's invisible friend.
She can see us.
50
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,696
But that's not Daddy.
51
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:19,660
Oh, uh-- Yes, it is.
It-It's Daddy in disguise.
52
00:04:19,785 --> 00:04:21,536
- Oh.
- Oh.
53
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,455
Daddy's in disguise.
54
00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:25,957
Where does she come
up with this stuff?
55
00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:28,168
Probably books
and stuff that she'd be reading.
56
00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:30,837
Right, Dad. All the characters
in Mother Goose smoke cigars.
57
00:04:30,962 --> 00:04:33,256
Don't you take that tone
with your father, young man!
58
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:35,801
Why don't you take the kids
and go on and check in, okay?
59
00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:39,054
- I'll be with you soon as I can.
- Aren't you coming with us?
60
00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:42,474
- Uh, I gotta make a stop first.
- What kind of stop?
61
00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:44,893
Well, you're a traveling salesman
for Bestway Brushes.
62
00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:47,095
- I'm a traveling salesman.
- I knew you're a traveling salesman.
63
00:04:47,142 --> 00:04:49,088
- You cover a lot of territory.
- Of course you know that.
64
00:04:49,135 --> 00:04:51,640
But I got to meet a
client about a big sale.
65
00:04:51,665 --> 00:04:52,679
Big sale?
66
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:53,975
- Big brushes.
- Big brushes.
67
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:55,207
- For big brushes?
- Yeah.
68
00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:57,739
You better get out of here
before "you know who" shows up.
69
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:01,159
Daddy's friend, Al, wants us to go now.
He says someone's looking for Daddy.
70
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:03,745
- Marty, have you been gambling again?
- What?
71
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,081
- Mmm.
- Al says yes.
72
00:05:06,164 --> 00:05:08,333
Don't lie to me, Marty.
You know it makes me crazy.
73
00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:11,044
She's talking to my invisible friend.
Don't forget that.
74
00:05:11,169 --> 00:05:14,047
- Oh! Right.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
75
00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:16,800
It must be the humidity.
All right. Come on.
76
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,094
Okay. I'll see you all later.
Huh?
77
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,430
Where are you taking us
for dinner?
78
00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:25,267
Um, I'm not sure that I'll be able
to make it back in time for dinner.
79
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,477
Marty Elroy,
are you up to no good?
80
00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:29,438
I'll be there for dinner.
81
00:05:31,682 --> 00:05:33,275
Let's go! Move it. Move it.
82
00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:35,402
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, Al.
83
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:39,990
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
84
00:05:42,117 --> 00:05:44,077
Oh, boy.
85
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:51,084
What's wrong?
86
00:05:51,835 --> 00:05:55,672
What's wrong?
Al, I'm a bigamist!
87
00:06:04,347 --> 00:06:07,517
Can you believe this? I got a wife in
Brooklyn and a wife in Pompano Beach.
88
00:06:07,642 --> 00:06:11,146
Yeah. Seems like a great setup.
Uh, unless they meet.
89
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,940
That's what Ziggy says you're
here to do, is to keep 'em apart.
90
00:06:14,065 --> 00:06:15,984
- For how long?
- Don't know.
91
00:06:16,117 --> 00:06:18,953
I mean, Marty had no idea that
Rachel was coming to Florida.
92
00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:20,363
Which one's Rachel?
93
00:06:20,489 --> 00:06:23,617
Uh, the last one.
The one that gets hot in the tropics.
94
00:06:23,742 --> 00:06:26,369
Eh, her kids are Josh and Jessica.
95
00:06:26,495 --> 00:06:29,247
Now, the wife that wants you
for dessert is Ellen.
96
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:31,750
- Her kids are Mary and Martin.
- Mary Martin?
97
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,460
Yeah.
Peter Pan was big in the '50s.
98
00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:35,003
Yeah, but where's Tinkerbell?
99
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,840
That's your dog.
You got a pedigreed greyhound.
100
00:06:36,865 --> 00:06:39,549
- Al--
- Marty! Yoo-hoo!
101
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,426
I got a greyhound for a pet?
102
00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:43,678
Yeah. Uh,
you're a big fan of the dog races,
103
00:06:43,762 --> 00:06:46,056
and you bought Tinkerbell
for an investment.
104
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:51,186
Now listen, have fun with Ellen,
but don't be late for Rachel.
105
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:55,607
Ah, gee. This is my kinda leap!
106
00:06:57,192 --> 00:06:59,903
Dad! Hurry up!
Let's go, honey.
107
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:07,244
Uh, what's been goin' on
since I've been gone?
108
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,454
I got an "A" on my science project.
109
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:12,624
Yeah? Oh, that's great.
Uh, what was it about?
110
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:14,835
- Uh, static electricity.
- Oh, yeah. Right.
111
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,838
He proved why clothes
stick together in the dryer.
112
00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:19,714
That's great.
113
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,883
And Mary had her
checkup at the dentist.
114
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,301
- Good.
- No cavities!
115
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,886
That's great too.
116
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,808
You said you'd bring them
a reward, remember?
117
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:33,895
Rewa-- Of course.
This is definitely a time for rewards.
118
00:07:34,024 --> 00:07:37,566
Just gotta-- Where did I put
those, uh, rewards?
119
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,526
You usually put them
in your tote bag.
120
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:43,238
Right! Right.
They're in my tote bag. Okay?
121
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,033
I'll go get it.
122
00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:52,873
I, uh, finished that special
math assignment you gave me.
123
00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:54,833
Oh, good.
124
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,879
You handicapped
the dog races for me?
125
00:07:59,004 --> 00:08:00,255
You owe me three bucks.
126
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,924
- What?
- Here we are! Reward time!
127
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:06,386
Okay! Reward time.
128
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,598
All right. Let's see
what we got in here.
129
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:13,894
Uh, something should be in here
for Marty. There we go!
130
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:18,315
Marty Jr. And Mary.
There you are.
131
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,484
A shoehorn?
From the Fiesta Hotel?
132
00:08:22,193 --> 00:08:23,445
Very practical.
133
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,614
Yeah, but it's what
you got me last time.
134
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,616
But you got two feet, right?
135
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:31,912
Look! A disposable shower cap.
136
00:08:34,372 --> 00:08:38,919
Well, I know I got a lot more
stuff in here, you know,
137
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,338
so just don't panic.
138
00:08:42,797 --> 00:08:46,217
Excuse me. I have to go
study for my history test.
139
00:08:46,343 --> 00:08:49,012
I thought your history test
wasn't until next week.
140
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,306
- It's a big test.
- Maybe I can help.
141
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,350
It's not about the horse races.
142
00:08:53,975 --> 00:08:56,895
How come Mom always gets
more presents than we do?
143
00:08:57,562 --> 00:09:00,649
Because she's-she's the mother.
144
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:05,737
Come on. Uh, there's gotta
be more stuff in here.
145
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:13,161
That's it! I told you last time, I'm not
taking my lunch to school in a barf bag!
146
00:09:13,244 --> 00:09:16,414
Don't you take that tone
with your father, young man!
147
00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:23,004
- I gotta go.
- Where?
148
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,173
Got to go!
Well, I got a meeting, you know.
149
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,424
After dinner?
150
00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:31,304
Yeah. Well, uh, the client
is a guy from, uh, Tokyo, see?
151
00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:33,640
And over in Tokyo right now,
it's morning.
152
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:36,893
And this guy, he's-he's
still stuck on Tokyo time.
153
00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:40,563
But it's movie night, Martin. You
know Friday night is movie night.
154
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:41,959
Yeah, well--
155
00:09:41,988 --> 00:09:45,777
There's a cartoonarama at the theater,
and the children love cartoons.
156
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:48,071
- Yes.
- And you promised.
157
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,489
But don't you understand?
158
00:09:49,614 --> 00:09:51,700
Is there something you're
not telling me, Martin?
159
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,119
Like perhaps you're
going to the track?
160
00:09:54,244 --> 00:09:57,539
No! No! I'm not going to the
track. No, I'm not. Really.
161
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:00,583
Listen, how about if we go, uh,
to the movies tomorrow night?
162
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,377
- Tomorrow night?
- Yeah.
163
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,921
- Is our night. Remember?
- Oh.
164
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,924
Naughty schoolgirl night?
165
00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:14,764
Okay. Well, then why don't you go
to the movies, and I'll meet you?
166
00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:18,309
How's that? Okay?
All right. I'll--
167
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,146
- Are you forgetting something?
- Am I forgetting some--
168
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:22,981
Oh! Yeah. Okay.
169
00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:25,150
Mmm.
170
00:10:26,401 --> 00:10:28,236
Mmm!
171
00:10:30,321 --> 00:10:33,450
I missed you, babe.
What took you so long?
172
00:10:33,575 --> 00:10:38,204
It was a long meeting with a lot of, uh,
big brushes that we had to talk about.
173
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:41,249
The kids were getting antsy,
so I had to order in.
174
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,585
Eat, Marty.
What's the matter?
175
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,296
Well, I'm just not in the mood
for pizza today, that's all.
176
00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:48,381
I'm in the mood for you.
177
00:10:48,506 --> 00:10:51,468
Tonight's chambermaid night,
remember?
178
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,804
Hey, Dad! Look what I got!
179
00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:59,517
We got Kleenex,
shoehorns, shower caps.
180
00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:02,812
I got towels, two bars of soap,
181
00:11:03,313 --> 00:11:04,647
sewing kits...
182
00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:08,526
and last, but certainly not least,
two rolls of toilet paper!
183
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:11,071
- Where'd you get all that stuff?
- I raided the maid's cart.
184
00:11:11,196 --> 00:11:14,365
- You can't steal from the maid!
- Why not? You taught me how to do it.
185
00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:16,561
We need a bath mat.
One bath mat coming up.
186
00:11:16,616 --> 00:11:20,413
No! No! Wait a sec--
Josh, get back here! Jo-- No!
187
00:11:20,789 --> 00:11:23,166
- No, thank you. I-I-I don't feel like it.
- Come on.
188
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,251
Daddy. Daddy! What's this for?
189
00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,712
Ah, look at that!
190
00:11:27,796 --> 00:11:29,923
I haven't seen one of those
since 19--
191
00:11:30,215 --> 00:11:33,259
Since the last time
I was in a really nice hotel.
192
00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:37,055
See, you, um-- You take a dime,
right, and you put it in there.
193
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:41,309
And then you turn it on. And it makes
the whole bed shake, kinda like a massage.
194
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,938
I know another way to
make the bed shake. Mm-hmm.
195
00:11:46,356 --> 00:11:49,567
I've got a dime. Well, here.
Let me have it. I'll turn it on.
196
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,613
I'm no thief. Come on.
And I'm no sucker.
197
00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:56,240
- A Massage-omatic.
- You apologize to your father right now.
198
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,951
One time Ruthie and
I were in Cleveland,
199
00:11:58,076 --> 00:12:00,120
and we had one of those things
running for nine hours straight.
200
00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:02,163
- This is so fun!
- There was nothin' else to do.
201
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,083
- Al, I don't want to hear about it.
- But, Marty, she's giving you lip.
202
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:09,087
He's not talking to you.
He's talking to his invisible friend.
203
00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:15,385
- I need to go to the bathroom.
- Me first!
204
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,762
- What? Wait, wait, wait! Wait a second!
- I'm gonna beat you!
205
00:12:17,887 --> 00:12:20,140
Make sure you open the window
when you're done, honey.
206
00:12:20,557 --> 00:12:23,351
- Sam, I'll meet you in the hall.
- I'll use the one in the lobby.
207
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,022
What did you find out, Al?
208
00:12:28,189 --> 00:12:32,068
Well, I was talking to the real
Marty. I think I found a new idol.
209
00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:34,988
Idol? Al!
The guy's a bigamist!
210
00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:37,323
I know. But think about it.
211
00:12:37,448 --> 00:12:39,576
If I had tried
that, I could have--
212
00:12:39,742 --> 00:12:42,579
I could've gone through
10 wives instead of five!
213
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:44,080
Al.
214
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,624
I got Rachel and her kids
to the hotel.
215
00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:48,501
I got Ellen and her
kids to the house.
216
00:12:48,587 --> 00:12:49,630
Uh-huh.
217
00:12:49,658 --> 00:12:51,549
They didn't bump into each other.
I did what I was supposed to do.
218
00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:52,839
Now, why haven't I leaped?
219
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:55,341
That's not what you
were supposed to do.
220
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:56,843
That's what you said
I was supposed to do!
221
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:58,428
That was just the first part.
222
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,014
Okay. Okay.
What's the second part?
223
00:13:01,139 --> 00:13:04,309
Well, now Ziggy's saying
there's a 75% chance...
224
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,645
that you're here because Marty's
only supposed to have one wife.
225
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,147
What?
226
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,567
All right. Okay.
Well, then-then which one?
227
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:13,902
Oh, you're not gonna like this.
228
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,780
Well, just have Ziggy tell me
which wife I'm supposed to pick, okay?
229
00:13:17,906 --> 00:13:19,699
- No. No. It's not that easy.
- Just tell me.
230
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:21,951
I know. But each one has
strengths and weaknesses.
231
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,203
Al.
232
00:13:23,328 --> 00:13:25,872
- And pluses and "minuseses."
- Al!
233
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:30,084
The odds are, uh, 50-50.
234
00:13:31,169 --> 00:13:33,922
Fifty-- Oh, boy.
235
00:13:38,259 --> 00:13:40,637
How am I gonna pick somebody
if the odds are 50-50?
236
00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:43,056
- Well, which one do you like?
- Huh?
237
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:50,021
I don't know.
Um, which one do you like?
238
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,940
- Me?
- Yeah.
239
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,608
I don't know.
240
00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,486
- Rachel.
- Ellen?
241
00:13:56,611 --> 00:13:58,196
- Rachel?
- Ellen?
242
00:13:58,529 --> 00:14:01,282
- You and Ellen?
- What do ya mean, me and Ellen?
243
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,952
- What are ya laughing at?
- She's not your type.
244
00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:06,371
I mean, Rachel's the one
with the vibrating bed.
245
00:14:06,663 --> 00:14:09,666
- Is that why you picked her?
- No. No. It's not the reason.
246
00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:12,168
I don't know why I picked her, Al.
247
00:14:12,377 --> 00:14:15,880
I guess because it seems like she needs
more help straightening out her life.
248
00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:18,299
Ellen seems stronger, you know,
more put together.
249
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,386
Hmm. Well, I love--
250
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,890
I love taking things apart...
and foolin' with 'em.
251
00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:28,101
- Al.
- Yeah?
252
00:14:28,643 --> 00:14:31,145
Who does Marty think
that he should pick?
253
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,356
He can't make up
his mind either.
254
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:38,152
He married Ellen first, so technically
she's got three years of seniority.
255
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,654
What about Rachel?
256
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,282
Oh, that's kinda romantic.
He married her on a bet.
257
00:14:42,365 --> 00:14:43,741
- A bet?
- Yeah.
258
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:46,619
She works as a cocktail waitress
at the Long Island Turf Club.
259
00:14:46,703 --> 00:14:49,998
And he bet her that she couldn't
stay married to him for one year.
260
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,959
And they're celebrating their
ninth anniversary next month.
261
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,712
Great. Great.
How's that gonna help me pick? Right?
262
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,839
Somebody's gonna get hurt here.
263
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,883
Well, Marty can only have one wife.
What a shame.
264
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:02,802
- Al.
- Huh?
265
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,222
How am I gonna choose which one?
266
00:15:06,347 --> 00:15:08,391
Well, you get to know them
a little bit.
267
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,351
You have dessert with Ellen.
268
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:14,230
You-You fan Rachel's little
hot tropical flame there.
269
00:15:14,355 --> 00:15:17,859
And-- But right now you better
forget that and get to the theater.
270
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:21,070
Oh, God! Oh!
I'll see you later.
271
00:15:21,404 --> 00:15:23,906
Rachel, listen,
I-I know you drove all the way down here
272
00:15:24,032 --> 00:15:25,742
to see me and
everything, but, uh,
273
00:15:25,867 --> 00:15:29,537
right now I have this very important
meeting that I have to get to, okay?
274
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,122
Didn't you have a meetin'
this afternoon?
275
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:34,250
Yes. But this is a meeting
about that meeting.
276
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,836
See? So I'll be back
in just a second, okay?
277
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:39,172
You're making me crazy again, Marty!
278
00:15:39,218 --> 00:15:40,928
We drove all the way
down here to see you.
279
00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:42,091
I know, but--
280
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,052
Sam. Maybe you shouldn't go
because Ziggy says there's
281
00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:45,970
a 50-50 chance you're supposed
to be here with Rachel.
282
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:48,348
Look, then I'm gonna be late
for the other appointment.
283
00:15:49,098 --> 00:15:52,101
Jessica missed her piano recital,
and Josh missed his play...
284
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:55,605
all because they wanted to
spend time with their father.
285
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:59,067
Okay. All right. But, you see,
I can't be in two places at once.
286
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,736
I'm having palpitations.
287
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,364
You?
Yeah. All right. Look. Look.
288
00:16:04,489 --> 00:16:06,824
- Okay. All right. Just sit down.
- Open the door! Come on!
289
00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:09,786
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll cancel my meeting. Okay?
290
00:16:09,911 --> 00:16:11,120
You can't do that! No!
291
00:16:11,245 --> 00:16:13,539
Ziggy says there's a 50-50 chance
you're supposed to be with Ellen.
292
00:16:13,664 --> 00:16:18,378
All right! Okay! Um, and I'll tell you
what. Instead, let's all go to the movies.
293
00:16:18,503 --> 00:16:21,089
- Oh! Oh! Oh! You really mean it?
- Okay? Yeah. Sure.
294
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,883
Oh, how about we all go see
Chainsaw Massacre in the Sand?
295
00:16:24,008 --> 00:16:25,718
Or Invaders from Uranus?
How 'bout that, huh?
296
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:27,667
No. We're going to
the cartoonarama.
297
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,222
Oh, Dad, I hate cartoons.
298
00:16:29,347 --> 00:16:30,723
- I'm sick of cartoons.
- Yeah, well--
299
00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,850
- Sounds dangerous to me, Sam.
- You got a better idea?
300
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:35,686
- I just gave you two.
- Josh, stop whining!
301
00:16:35,812 --> 00:16:37,230
Mom!
302
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,732
Come on, Jessica!
303
00:16:40,443 --> 00:16:41,459
I'm ready.
304
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:43,444
Okay! Last one to the car's
a rotten egg! Let's go!
305
00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:45,405
- I get to sit in the front.
- No, I do.
306
00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:47,843
- No, you just did last time--
- It's Jessica's turn, Joshua.
307
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,409
That's it! It's my turn!
308
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:51,411
No lip from you,
or you stay right here!
309
00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:55,581
I can't wait to see the cartoon!
310
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,675
Josh.
311
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,511
I know how you feel.
312
00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:13,015
Sometimes it's tough
being an older brother.
313
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:16,227
Things don't always seem fair.
314
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,608
But your little sister
is too young to understand.
315
00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:25,069
That's why we make excuses for her--
316
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,406
because we're more grown up
than she is.
317
00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:32,118
- Come on, Dad.
- "Come on" what?
318
00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:33,995
Whenever we have
a heart-to-heart,
319
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,372
the next thing you do is
you hit me up for cash.
320
00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:38,332
- What?
- And you know I'm tapped out.
321
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,002
You borrowed my allowance,
and then you raided my piggy bank.
322
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:42,712
- Wait. Wait. Wait!
- I'm broke.
323
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,964
I don't want your allowance.
324
00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,508
I could see you were upset,
and I care about you.
325
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,552
I just wanted to
talk to you about it.
326
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,304
I hate when you beg.
327
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,182
This is the last time.
This is the last time.
328
00:17:54,515 --> 00:17:57,435
This is 52 cents.
It's the last of my lunch money.
329
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,021
Just don't spend it all
in one place. Okay?
330
00:18:03,191 --> 00:18:07,862
I think I'd better go get Ziggy
to see if she can tilt these odds.
331
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,135
I, uh, have to go to the bathroom.
332
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,596
You just spent 20 minutes in
the bathroom at the hotel.
333
00:18:33,704 --> 00:18:35,372
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
334
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,266
- I want popcorn!
- Me too! And a hot dog!
335
00:18:37,391 --> 00:18:38,768
- And I want a black cow.
- Me too!
336
00:18:38,893 --> 00:18:40,686
I want licorice sticks and
I want french fries. Okay?
337
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:41,854
Yeah. Me too!
338
00:18:41,979 --> 00:18:44,232
- Get me an ice cream bar.
- Okay. Popcorn for everybody.
339
00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:46,267
- A hot dog!
- Black cow. Black cow. Black cow!
340
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:47,963
Two hot dogs. Two black cows.
French fries. Licorice.
341
00:18:48,058 --> 00:18:49,496
I want french fries!
Some licorice!
342
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:52,320
And an ice cream "bah."
And an ice cream "bah"- bar.
343
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,160
Here's five dollars. And remember,
Marty, I count the change.
344
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:17,932
Look who's here! Dad!
345
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:22,937
Oh, what a nice surprise!
And the races aren't even over yet.
346
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:25,690
And here I am.
How about that?
347
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,076
I'm gonna go get some popcorn.
I'll be right back, okay?
348
00:19:37,201 --> 00:19:41,289
Martin, honey, we don't get
popcorn until intermission.
349
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,208
It's fresher now.
350
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,754
Just sit still and watch the movie.
351
00:19:55,553 --> 00:19:57,346
- I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Me too.
352
00:19:57,471 --> 00:19:59,640
- Not until intermission.
- I can't hold it.
353
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,393
All right.
354
00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:10,901
There you go-- two popcorns
and one orange juice.
355
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:13,738
- Hey, you go ahead, all right?
- I thought you had to go.
356
00:20:13,855 --> 00:20:15,523
I'm gonna go later.
I'm gonna get a soda,
357
00:20:15,579 --> 00:20:17,198
and I'll meet you back
in the theater, okay?
358
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:18,451
Okay.
359
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:20,661
Two popcorns, three black cows--
360
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:25,249
Jessica. Hi.
361
00:20:27,043 --> 00:20:28,419
What are you doing out here?
362
00:20:28,544 --> 00:20:30,671
Mommy wants to know
what's taking so long.
363
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:34,467
The line in the men's room was long.
But the food line's a lot shorter.
364
00:20:34,592 --> 00:20:38,095
So I'll get all the food, and I'll
meet you back inside with Mommy.
365
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,390
Hmm. Okay.
366
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:47,563
Whew!
367
00:20:48,439 --> 00:20:51,692
All right. Get a pencil and paper
'cause this is a lot of stuff here.
368
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,945
Three popcorns,
two brown cows, french fries,
369
00:20:55,071 --> 00:20:57,907
licorice, two hot dogs
and an ice cream bar.
370
00:20:58,032 --> 00:21:00,701
Okay. Thank you, sir.
That should be 2.95.
371
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:10,169
What is all this? It's just
a little snack, that's all.
372
00:21:10,294 --> 00:21:13,297
Dad says they gave it to him for free.
He was the 100th customer.
373
00:21:13,422 --> 00:21:16,592
Oh, my! That ice cream bar
sure looks yummy.
374
00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:18,552
Wait a minute. You said we wouldn't
eat anything till intermission.
375
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,430
Look, a hot dog. Licorice
sticks for Junior and black cows!
376
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,266
- You remembered I love black cows!
- All right. Hold it!
377
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,355
The guy forgot my ketchup.
I'll be right back.
378
00:21:47,415 --> 00:21:49,792
- Here I am!
- What took so long?
379
00:21:50,535 --> 00:21:53,170
- Well--
- Where's my hot dog?
380
00:21:53,295 --> 00:21:57,341
Where's my licorice? Where's Mom's ice
cream bar? Give me that! That's mine!
381
00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,552
- Give it to me! Give it back to me!
- Give it back!
382
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,721
- Give it back to me!
- It's mine! I had it first!
383
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:04,974
Can you believe the guy forgot
to put 'em in there? He was--
384
00:22:05,182 --> 00:22:06,851
I'll be right back.
385
00:22:10,187 --> 00:22:13,941
Junior, keep an eye on your sister.
I'm going to look for your father.
386
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,198
That's it. That's it!
387
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:23,451
He's probably on the phone
placing a bet.
388
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:27,663
Josh, watch your sister. I'm going to
give your father a piece of my mind.
389
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,750
Oh, my God!
Look at the goodies!
390
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,085
Look at that popcorn!
Look at the ice cream bar!
391
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:35,045
Al, this ice cream bar
could ruin his marriage.
392
00:22:35,171 --> 00:22:37,339
- Which one?
- Babe?
393
00:22:39,133 --> 00:22:41,051
- Uh-oh.
- Honey?
394
00:22:41,177 --> 00:22:45,222
Uh-oh. Sam, do something. Hide!
Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick!
395
00:22:45,347 --> 00:22:46,932
Honey!
396
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:48,350
Babe?
397
00:22:50,227 --> 00:22:51,854
Honey!
398
00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:58,569
Stay low, Sam!
399
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:05,868
Going, going, going--
You got away with it this time, Sam.
400
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:07,870
Whew. Wow.
401
00:23:13,083 --> 00:23:14,418
Al!
402
00:23:15,252 --> 00:23:16,921
Where's your ice cream bar?
Huh?
403
00:23:17,046 --> 00:23:18,631
Your ice cream bar?
404
00:23:19,381 --> 00:23:21,300
- Oh, no!
- Oh, man!
405
00:23:21,425 --> 00:23:23,469
You stepped on
your ice cream bar.
406
00:23:23,552 --> 00:23:25,346
Sam! And you need
more popcorn.
407
00:23:25,513 --> 00:23:27,807
I don't have a dime.
I don't have anything at all.
408
00:23:27,932 --> 00:23:30,351
Oh, whoa! Whoa!
I don't wanna hear you say that!
409
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:33,687
You know how that makes me feel.
Bicarb.
410
00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:35,147
Do I know you guys?
411
00:23:35,272 --> 00:23:38,067
No hard I.D.'s on these guys,
but knowing how Marty gambled,
412
00:23:38,192 --> 00:23:39,318
they're probably gamblers.
413
00:23:39,443 --> 00:23:43,113
Gus, don't you hate it when they do that?
Don't you hate it when they say that?
414
00:23:43,239 --> 00:23:45,866
"I forgot it."
"I left it in my other pants."
415
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:48,594
"I had to bail my Aunt Frieda
out of jail."
416
00:23:48,869 --> 00:23:51,997
Marty, you know better than this.
417
00:23:52,081 --> 00:23:54,792
- I mean, I'm ashamed of you.
- Al?
418
00:23:54,917 --> 00:23:58,462
You know that this
is movie night.
419
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:02,842
And on movie night
we always go and take a little walk...
420
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:05,261
and have our little chat.
421
00:24:05,386 --> 00:24:09,974
Uh, so, yeah. H-How did you like
the movie tonight, you guys?
422
00:24:10,099 --> 00:24:12,226
We don't review the picture.
423
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:16,522
But, you know, on the other hand,
I liked the movie very much.
424
00:24:16,605 --> 00:24:20,484
I love happy endings.
I hate it when a movie makes me cry.
425
00:24:20,609 --> 00:24:22,403
It's part of my sensitive nature.
426
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:25,155
I wouldn't go see Bambi then.
It's a real tearjerker.
427
00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:27,132
Don't be smart, Marty.
I hate it when you're smart.
428
00:24:27,162 --> 00:24:29,038
- Hey, you nozzle!
- If you were really smart,
429
00:24:29,118 --> 00:24:30,828
you wouldn't owe
us two grand again.
430
00:24:31,620 --> 00:24:33,122
Two grand.
431
00:24:33,789 --> 00:24:36,959
Isn't that a coincidence?
That's exactly what you owe us--
432
00:24:37,126 --> 00:24:39,253
two thousand again!
433
00:24:42,464 --> 00:24:44,425
Listen, Marty--
434
00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:48,971
two thousand, 24 hours.
435
00:24:49,138 --> 00:24:51,807
Please get the money.
436
00:24:52,141 --> 00:24:53,934
You know me--
437
00:24:54,476 --> 00:24:56,729
that sensitive,
artistic side of me.
438
00:24:56,854 --> 00:25:02,067
Every time Gus here breaks thumbs,
I get indigestion for a week.
439
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,321
It's that crunching,
cracking sound. I just--
440
00:25:08,407 --> 00:25:10,784
Hey. Here.
441
00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:14,663
Buy your kids some popcorn.
442
00:25:31,555 --> 00:25:34,475
Whoever said "hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned..."
443
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,435
never scorned two women.
444
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,648
And even though I had two wives,
I wound up sleeping on a park bench.
445
00:25:41,023 --> 00:25:43,943
I would have liked to have given them
more time to cool off,
446
00:25:44,193 --> 00:25:47,988
but my solar plexus kept reminding me
that Vic and Gus meant business.
447
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:49,740
Shut up, Jake!
448
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:58,749
I know you don't want to talk to me,
but could you just at least listen?
449
00:26:02,670 --> 00:26:07,132
I'm really sorry about last night, and
I really need to talk to your mother.
450
00:26:07,257 --> 00:26:08,926
She already left for work,
451
00:26:09,051 --> 00:26:11,804
and she told me not to let you in
if you showed up.
452
00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:15,891
Look, Marty, you're a little
young to understand all this,
453
00:26:16,016 --> 00:26:18,769
but your dad's in big trouble.
454
00:26:18,894 --> 00:26:21,897
Dad, you've been in trouble
since I can remember.
455
00:26:22,064 --> 00:26:25,234
You missed my first Little League game
because of opening day at Hialeah.
456
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:29,071
You hocked my Christmas presents last
year. This time the cupboard's bare.
457
00:26:29,196 --> 00:26:32,282
No. No. I-I didn't come here
asking for money, okay?
458
00:26:32,408 --> 00:26:36,036
Uh, could I at least come in
and take a shower?
459
00:26:36,370 --> 00:26:38,205
Hold on a second.
460
00:26:47,464 --> 00:26:49,633
- Here.
- What are you doin'?
461
00:26:49,758 --> 00:26:52,970
- I hope this helps.
- No. I-I don't want the money.
462
00:26:53,095 --> 00:26:54,513
Take it.
463
00:26:55,389 --> 00:26:58,809
Think of it as a loan, okay?
I'll-I'll put it on your tab.
464
00:26:59,268 --> 00:27:00,936
Just take it.
465
00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:06,442
Look, I'm really sorry I hocked
your Christmas presents...
466
00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:09,445
and missed all your
Little League games.
467
00:27:09,737 --> 00:27:12,448
Somehow, I'm gonna try
and make it up to you.
468
00:27:13,991 --> 00:27:15,951
Okay. You can come in.
469
00:27:16,076 --> 00:27:19,121
But I still have to check
your pockets when you leave.
470
00:27:21,331 --> 00:27:22,750
Yeah.
471
00:27:29,006 --> 00:27:30,549
Coming.
472
00:27:32,718 --> 00:27:34,845
- Bad time, Dad.
- Oh, wait a second.
473
00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:36,764
I really need to talk to your mom.
474
00:27:36,889 --> 00:27:40,017
No. I don't think it's a good idea.
I just want to apologize, okay?
475
00:27:40,317 --> 00:27:41,685
Do you think she'll see me?
476
00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:43,562
Well, she's not here.
She went to get her hair done.
477
00:27:43,687 --> 00:27:44,855
Where?
478
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:47,107
At the beauty parlor in the lobby.
479
00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:50,152
Wait, Dad. How much money
do you need this time?
480
00:27:50,277 --> 00:27:52,237
None. I-I'm fine.
481
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,324
- Take this.
- Josh.
482
00:27:55,449 --> 00:27:58,065
No. No. No.
Take it. Take it. Take it.
483
00:27:58,090 --> 00:27:59,089
Look--
484
00:27:59,151 --> 00:28:01,789
My mom keeps some extra
cash in the jewelry box.
485
00:28:02,081 --> 00:28:05,209
She gave that to me to buy some souvenirs
for Aunt Renee and Uncle Harvey.
486
00:28:05,334 --> 00:28:09,421
But-But I-I guess I can give 'em
the bath mat instead.
487
00:28:09,838 --> 00:28:11,090
You don't understand.
488
00:28:11,256 --> 00:28:12,716
No. No, Dad.
Just take it, please?
489
00:28:12,841 --> 00:28:18,514
And-And maybe you should just
leave Mom alone for a while. Okay?
490
00:28:25,229 --> 00:28:27,439
I have two darling children.
491
00:28:27,564 --> 00:28:31,276
Josh is eight, and Jessica's five.
How many do you have?
492
00:28:31,401 --> 00:28:34,655
Two. Or three,
if you count my husband.
493
00:28:37,449 --> 00:28:39,368
Would you like it up or down?
494
00:28:40,744 --> 00:28:42,913
- What do you think?
- Huh.
495
00:28:43,038 --> 00:28:45,624
If I don't come up
with $2,000 by tonight,
496
00:28:45,749 --> 00:28:48,377
I'm the one who's gonna have
the broken thumb.
497
00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:50,504
No, you're not gonna
have a broken thumb.
498
00:28:50,629 --> 00:28:51,797
No?
499
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,174
You're gonna have two broken thumbs.
That's Vic's trademark.
500
00:28:54,244 --> 00:28:55,239
Oh.
501
00:28:55,302 --> 00:28:57,583
He takes 'em and he bends 'em back
and twists 'em over like this.
502
00:28:57,630 --> 00:28:59,966
Thanks, Al.
That's enough, okay?
503
00:29:00,055 --> 00:29:02,933
You may not like it, but you're gonna have
to get that money from Ellen or Rachel.
504
00:29:03,058 --> 00:29:05,352
I personally think
that Ellen is the soft touch.
505
00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:07,980
I really don't know why I
put up with my husband.
506
00:29:08,138 --> 00:29:11,525
I guess it's because
deep down he has--
507
00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,528
I don't know
what he has deep down.
508
00:29:15,863 --> 00:29:18,740
Sometimes I worry about my kids.
509
00:29:18,866 --> 00:29:21,076
Junior looks up
to his father so much.
510
00:29:21,201 --> 00:29:23,787
I'm afraid he's gonna be in
for a big disappointment.
511
00:29:23,912 --> 00:29:27,082
My husband isn't much of a father.
He thinks I should raise the kids.
512
00:29:27,207 --> 00:29:29,251
We have a very traditional family.
513
00:29:29,376 --> 00:29:31,962
- So you don't work?
- No. I work.
514
00:29:32,087 --> 00:29:34,381
I'm a cocktail waitress
at the Turf Club.
515
00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:37,593
- Gambling makes me sick.
- Oh, me too.
516
00:29:37,718 --> 00:29:40,554
- At least my husband doesn't gamble.
- Oh, neither does mine.
517
00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:42,472
- Thank goodness.
- Thank God.
518
00:29:42,598 --> 00:29:45,434
I can't imagine what it would be like
to be married to a gambler.
519
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:49,460
Absolute hell.
Not that I would know.
520
00:29:50,105 --> 00:29:52,941
You're gonna have a hell of a time
getting a handout from either one of 'em.
521
00:29:53,066 --> 00:29:55,569
Which is why I need to know
which wife I'm supposed to choose.
522
00:29:55,694 --> 00:29:57,863
What's it got to do
with the 2,000 clams?
523
00:29:57,988 --> 00:29:59,615
Because Ziggy said...
524
00:30:00,532 --> 00:30:03,493
that I'm here to pick between
Rachel and Ellen, right?
525
00:30:03,619 --> 00:30:04,786
Right.
526
00:30:04,912 --> 00:30:06,788
I've been running around
between both families,
527
00:30:06,914 --> 00:30:08,582
trying to decide which
family needs me the most.
528
00:30:08,707 --> 00:30:10,209
And I still don't have an
answer, right?
529
00:30:10,334 --> 00:30:13,003
- Right.
- So-So I've gonna go to Ra--
530
00:30:14,922 --> 00:30:16,590
- Gesundheit.
- Thank you.
531
00:30:16,757 --> 00:30:19,134
I gotta go to Rachel
and hit her up for $2,000,
532
00:30:19,285 --> 00:30:21,449
I better make sure-- darn
sure-- that it's not her.
533
00:30:21,505 --> 00:30:22,437
Right.
534
00:30:22,518 --> 00:30:24,264
Because if it is, then she's never
gonna speak to me again.
535
00:30:24,389 --> 00:30:25,974
Then I'll never leap outta here.
I'll be stuck in the-
536
00:30:26,099 --> 00:30:28,227
- Wait a second. Ziggy's freaking out here.
- What's she saying?
537
00:30:28,352 --> 00:30:30,812
She says get the hell
away from the win.
538
00:30:30,938 --> 00:30:33,690
- The win? The what?
- Dow.
539
00:30:33,815 --> 00:30:35,901
- Dow?
- Oh, the window.
540
00:30:36,026 --> 00:30:39,529
Get the hell away from the-
Ooh, the window!
541
00:30:39,613 --> 00:30:43,784
Get away from the window, quick!
Quick! Quick!
542
00:30:43,909 --> 00:30:45,577
No wonder Ziggy's freakin' out.
543
00:30:45,702 --> 00:30:48,163
They're probably talking
about you in there right now!
544
00:30:51,291 --> 00:30:53,961
- Do they know?
- No, I don't think so.
545
00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:57,547
Because Ellen is just fixing Rachel's hair.
She's not pulling it out.
546
00:30:57,673 --> 00:31:00,175
Al, why didn't you tell me
that Ellen worked in there?
547
00:31:00,342 --> 00:31:02,636
- You never asked me to check on it!
- All right.
548
00:31:02,719 --> 00:31:05,430
I want you to go in there and listen
to what they're saying, okay?
549
00:31:05,555 --> 00:31:07,641
I'm gonna figure out some way
to get one of 'em out of there.
550
00:31:07,724 --> 00:31:09,309
How you gonna do that?
551
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:12,020
- I don't know! I just--
- Ah.
552
00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:15,065
I'll call-- I'll call
'em on the phone.
553
00:31:15,190 --> 00:31:16,233
Which one?
554
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,610
I don't know! Just go! Go on!
555
00:31:19,736 --> 00:31:21,905
I grew up on fairy tales.
556
00:31:23,323 --> 00:31:26,118
My mother always told me that
Prince Charming would come along
557
00:31:26,243 --> 00:31:28,912
on a white horse and
sweep me off my feet.
558
00:31:29,001 --> 00:31:30,622
She didn't tell you
Prince Charming would have
559
00:31:30,747 --> 00:31:32,082
two grand riding on that
horse, I bet.
560
00:31:32,165 --> 00:31:33,792
My mother-- God rest
her soul-- told me,
561
00:31:33,917 --> 00:31:36,837
"Rachel, you can put up with
just about anything from a man.
562
00:31:36,962 --> 00:31:40,132
"He's a slob? Forget it.
He stays out with the boys? Who cares?"
563
00:31:40,257 --> 00:31:41,550
I like Mom already.
564
00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:45,178
"The only thing that counts, Rachelah,
is that he doesn't fool around."
565
00:31:45,262 --> 00:31:47,556
- But not very much.
- Amen to that.
566
00:31:47,723 --> 00:31:51,101
And, you know, isn't it funny that
the wife is always the last to know?
567
00:31:51,226 --> 00:31:54,021
- Oh, I'd know.
- They always think they'd know.
568
00:31:54,146 --> 00:31:56,940
You would be surprised
how these poor darlings find out.
569
00:31:57,024 --> 00:31:59,401
Not as surprised
as you sweeties are gonna be.
570
00:31:59,526 --> 00:32:01,069
It happened to a friend of mine.
571
00:32:01,236 --> 00:32:03,822
She overheard it in the powder
room at Gage and Toners.
572
00:32:03,947 --> 00:32:06,533
That's how she found out her husband
was seeing another woman?
573
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,994
- No. Another man!
- No!
574
00:32:09,119 --> 00:32:11,496
- Yuck!
- Swear. My husband told me.
575
00:32:11,621 --> 00:32:13,957
Oh! Well, what does he do
for a living?
576
00:32:14,082 --> 00:32:16,126
- He's in sales.
- Uh, Sam!
577
00:32:16,251 --> 00:32:18,837
Mine too.
What type of sales?
578
00:32:18,962 --> 00:32:21,923
- Is there a Rachel Elroy here?
- That's me.
579
00:32:22,049 --> 00:32:24,092
- Oh, thank God.
- You have a phone call.
580
00:32:24,593 --> 00:32:25,761
Oh!
581
00:32:25,886 --> 00:32:27,846
My last name is Elroy too.
582
00:32:27,971 --> 00:32:30,057
Really? Maybe we're related.
583
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:32,017
Closer than you think, honey.
584
00:32:35,270 --> 00:32:36,813
Thank you.
585
00:32:37,731 --> 00:32:39,274
- Hello?
- Rachel.
586
00:32:39,399 --> 00:32:40,609
Oh, you.
587
00:32:40,734 --> 00:32:44,404
Rachel, don't hang up.
J-Just hear me out.
588
00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:49,451
Now look, I know
that I'm a no-good louse...
589
00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:51,328
and a terrible father.
590
00:32:51,453 --> 00:32:54,623
- And a terrible husband!
- And I'm a terrible husband.
591
00:32:54,748 --> 00:32:57,667
And I'm lower than pond scum.
592
00:32:57,793 --> 00:33:01,505
And I'm low--
A really terrible husband.
593
00:33:01,630 --> 00:33:02,964
You got a point?
594
00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:07,219
The point is, I want to make it up to
you. I want to turn over a new leaf.
595
00:33:07,344 --> 00:33:10,680
- You're not gettin' a dime from me.
- No, this isn't about money.
596
00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:13,975
I left you a note on your car.
597
00:33:14,810 --> 00:33:16,019
What's it say?
598
00:33:16,144 --> 00:33:18,188
If you want to know,
you have to go read it.
599
00:33:18,313 --> 00:33:19,940
That's a good one, Sam.
600
00:33:20,065 --> 00:33:21,358
I'll think about it.
601
00:33:21,483 --> 00:33:23,944
Ah, don't pay any attention to that.
She's hooked.
602
00:33:30,158 --> 00:33:32,077
Keep the change, doll.
603
00:33:32,661 --> 00:33:36,790
Ah, Sam, that note idea is brilliant.
I'm impressed.
604
00:33:36,906 --> 00:33:38,866
- Thanks.
- "Thanks." So?
605
00:33:38,959 --> 00:33:41,920
- So?
- So what'd the note say?
606
00:33:43,004 --> 00:33:45,048
- All the right things.
- Like?
607
00:33:45,924 --> 00:33:48,427
- Believe me, she'll love the note.
- Oh, okay.
608
00:33:48,552 --> 00:33:51,972
I figured it out, Al! I know why I'm
here! I know what Marty doesn't know.
609
00:33:52,214 --> 00:33:53,810
Tell me, tell me, tell me!
610
00:33:53,851 --> 00:33:56,017
- No. No. I can't.
- No? No?
611
00:33:56,143 --> 00:33:57,602
- Why not?
- You're biased.
612
00:33:57,727 --> 00:33:59,187
- I'm not.
- I know who you're rooting for.
613
00:33:59,249 --> 00:34:00,397
- No, you don't.
- I do.
614
00:34:00,522 --> 00:34:02,816
- And I don't want to argue about it.
- Tell me. Who gets him?
615
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:04,734
You'll find out tonight at 6:00.
616
00:34:07,362 --> 00:34:08,738
Hi!
617
00:34:09,156 --> 00:34:12,451
Martin Joseph Elroy, I told you
never to bother me here at work.
618
00:34:12,576 --> 00:34:15,704
You did? I mean,
I-I know that. I know that.
619
00:34:16,079 --> 00:34:18,582
But I came by
to ask you out on a date.
620
00:34:18,707 --> 00:34:21,751
- What's your angle?
- I don't have an angle.
621
00:34:22,502 --> 00:34:26,965
I've just been rotten to you and the
kids, but I think I can change all that.
622
00:34:27,048 --> 00:34:30,760
That is, if you meet me for dinner
in the dining room at 6:00.
623
00:34:30,969 --> 00:34:32,804
- Here at the hotel?
- Yeah.
624
00:34:32,929 --> 00:34:34,222
Who's paying?
625
00:34:34,347 --> 00:34:36,475
Well, don't-don't worry about that.
626
00:34:36,683 --> 00:34:38,894
But that only gives me an hour
to go home and change.
627
00:34:39,019 --> 00:34:40,896
Just promise me
that you'll be there?
628
00:34:41,521 --> 00:34:43,315
- Okay.
- Okay.
629
00:34:51,907 --> 00:34:56,786
Well, will you look at this, Gus?
What a model citizen.
630
00:34:58,038 --> 00:35:01,583
Keep America beautiful.
See ya later, guys.
631
00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:15,263
Don't I have a few more hours?
Wasn't that the deal?
632
00:35:15,388 --> 00:35:17,599
Come on, Marty.
You're three days overdue now.
633
00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:19,875
Last night I gave you
some grace period.
634
00:35:19,976 --> 00:35:23,313
You know me. I'm a soft-hearted,
easy-going kind of guy.
635
00:35:23,438 --> 00:35:26,650
- Yeah.
- Hey, I gotta share this with ya.
636
00:35:26,775 --> 00:35:29,736
Last night, after our last conversation,
bought a set of oil paints--
637
00:35:29,790 --> 00:35:31,029
you know, with the numbers?
638
00:35:31,079 --> 00:35:32,626
You think I got a chance
at being an artist?
639
00:35:32,697 --> 00:35:34,199
- What do ya think?
- Well--
640
00:35:34,366 --> 00:35:36,576
Like a snowball in hell,
he's got a chance.
641
00:35:36,701 --> 00:35:40,080
I think that, you know, van Gogh
never painted a picture till he was 30.
642
00:35:40,205 --> 00:35:43,333
Is that a fact? Hear that, Gus?
Get me a scotch.
643
00:35:43,458 --> 00:35:46,628
- Yeah.
- Where's the money, Marty?
644
00:35:47,212 --> 00:35:50,715
Well, I-I gotta make
a phone call.
645
00:35:51,049 --> 00:35:54,678
- About the money?
- Of course. For the money.
646
00:35:55,929 --> 00:35:57,764
- I'll just--
- Phone call?
647
00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:06,439
Yeah, operator. Yeah.
Get me, uh, Klondike-7-55-uh, 55.
648
00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:08,275
Who are you callin'?
649
00:36:09,276 --> 00:36:12,737
- Hello. Big Al?
- Oh, good idea!
650
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,239
I need a little help here.
651
00:36:14,364 --> 00:36:17,200
Yeah. No Shinola, Sherlock!
What happened to your secret plan?
652
00:36:17,325 --> 00:36:20,662
It's gonna be a disaster if I don't
get out of here within a half hour.
653
00:36:20,829 --> 00:36:23,248
- Yeah. You're cutting it pretty thin.
- Yeah. Well--
654
00:36:23,373 --> 00:36:24,958
And that starts next week.
655
00:36:25,083 --> 00:36:29,796
You know, Big Al, I was just wondering--
I wonder who's gonna win this race.
656
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:32,465
Sam, this is no time
to be talking about gambling.
657
00:36:32,632 --> 00:36:34,718
Oh, I'm not talking
about gambling.
658
00:36:34,884 --> 00:36:36,803
It's a good thing,
because Ziggy says we can
659
00:36:36,886 --> 00:36:39,848
never, never, never, never, never,
ever use information from the future
660
00:36:39,973 --> 00:36:41,933
for personal gain,
and that's a rule.
661
00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:43,560
Well, what idiot made
up that rule?
662
00:36:43,727 --> 00:36:44,769
You did!
663
00:36:44,936 --> 00:36:47,355
I tried to talk you out of it,
but no!
664
00:36:47,522 --> 00:36:51,985
You said it had to be a firmly
embedded command. Uh-oh.
665
00:36:52,075 --> 00:36:53,987
What? One of your
kids is running away.
666
00:36:54,070 --> 00:36:55,336
Which one?
667
00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:57,282
Jessica. She's packing her bags.
She's gonna hit the streets.
668
00:36:57,407 --> 00:37:00,035
Listen, uh--
Listen, I-I got a crisis here, okay?
669
00:37:00,201 --> 00:37:02,912
Um, one of my kids is running away
from home, so if you could exc--
670
00:37:03,038 --> 00:37:06,041
Never mind. Al? Listen to me.
You gotta go after her, okay?
671
00:37:06,124 --> 00:37:08,168
Because, remember,
she can see you, so--
672
00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:10,211
- What about these gorillas?
- I'll have to take my chances.
673
00:37:10,337 --> 00:37:11,838
I'm gonna talk to Dr. Beeks
674
00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:13,798
and see if she can't get Ziggy
to break the rule just once.
675
00:37:13,882 --> 00:37:15,675
No! No! No!
There's not enough time! Just go!
676
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,345
Okay. I hope Marty's
insurance is paid up.
677
00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:22,474
- Finally, there is Lead Balloon.
- Okay, I'll see ya, Big Al.
678
00:37:22,599 --> 00:37:24,476
Did you get the money, Marty?
679
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:27,771
Well, not exactly-- yet.
680
00:37:27,896 --> 00:37:32,233
But I'll-I'll have it though,
right after this race.
681
00:37:32,359 --> 00:37:36,821
On the rail is Jill's Vision,
followed by Bear in the Woods...
682
00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,990
and Polish War Hero...
683
00:37:39,115 --> 00:37:43,078
and the 40-to-1 shot,
Lead Balloon!
684
00:37:44,079 --> 00:37:47,082
Forty-one, two, three,
four, five, six.
685
00:37:47,248 --> 00:37:50,251
46.50.
Two thousand divided by 50 is 40!
686
00:37:50,377 --> 00:37:54,631
Will you lend me 350 and put
a bet down on the 40-to-1 shot?
687
00:37:54,756 --> 00:37:56,299
- On Lead Balloon?
- Yeah.
688
00:37:56,424 --> 00:37:59,260
That nag'll come in dead last,
and you're dead broke. Hey!
689
00:37:59,386 --> 00:38:02,138
- Boy, a pool of humor today.
- Yeah, you are!
690
00:38:02,263 --> 00:38:05,058
But you know? What's another
50 on top of the 2,000? Right?
691
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:09,771
Because if it pays off at 40-to-1, I get
$2,000. I pay you and then we're even.
692
00:38:09,896 --> 00:38:12,982
- What do you say? Oh, come on.
- Hey! No! No, no, no, no, no!
693
00:38:13,108 --> 00:38:17,529
Show me that sensitive,
artistic soul.
694
00:38:21,574 --> 00:38:23,535
Okay, Marty.
695
00:38:29,207 --> 00:38:32,460
Your mommy'll be very sad
if you run away, Jessica.
696
00:38:32,877 --> 00:38:35,797
- Do you know why?
- No. Why?
697
00:38:36,089 --> 00:38:40,260
Because you have a smile
that's worth a million bucks!
698
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:43,638
So you can't go away,
or you'll take all that away from her.
699
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:48,893
- Are you coming home with us, Al?
- No, I don't think so, sweetheart.
700
00:38:49,018 --> 00:38:52,939
You could be my daddy.
I don't really have a daddy.
701
00:38:53,106 --> 00:38:56,109
Well, I didn't have a daddy either.
Or a mommy.
702
00:38:56,234 --> 00:39:00,655
- Did that make you feel sad?
- Oh. Oh, very sad.
703
00:39:00,989 --> 00:39:03,950
I used to think about what it
would be like to have a mommy.
704
00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:07,787
Someone who loved me
and who'd take care of me...
705
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:11,583
and sang me to sleep and hugged me
and told me everything was okay.
706
00:39:11,708 --> 00:39:13,501
That's what my mommy does!
707
00:39:13,626 --> 00:39:16,337
She does, huh?
Why do you suppose she does that?
708
00:39:17,714 --> 00:39:20,258
Because she loves you
more than anything.
709
00:39:24,471 --> 00:39:26,097
Will I see you again, Al?
710
00:39:26,222 --> 00:39:28,224
I don't know.
You don't need me, honey.
711
00:39:28,683 --> 00:39:30,477
But you need your mommy...
712
00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:34,272
and, most important,
your mommy needs you.
713
00:39:35,231 --> 00:39:38,318
So, you gonna promise me
you're gonna take care of her?
714
00:39:39,068 --> 00:39:40,361
I promise.
715
00:39:40,487 --> 00:39:42,054
Will ya? And you won't run away?
716
00:39:42,155 --> 00:39:43,823
- No.
- Okay.
717
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,825
- Bye, Al.
- Bye, hon.
718
00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:52,582
And Lead Balloon, as expected,
is a long ways back.
719
00:39:52,707 --> 00:39:55,043
As they straighten out
for the run down the backstretch,
720
00:39:55,168 --> 00:39:57,650
Bear in the Woods maintains the
lead, David's Honey is second.
721
00:39:57,754 --> 00:40:00,131
- Gus. Do me a favor.
- Here comes Lead Balloon--
722
00:40:00,256 --> 00:40:02,050
I'm gonna go get some
fresh air while you, uh--
723
00:40:02,175 --> 00:40:05,261
No, no, no, no, no! Wait! Wait! Wait!
It's not over yet. You never know.
724
00:40:05,345 --> 00:40:07,472
And coming on to Jack Hatch now,
725
00:40:07,597 --> 00:40:11,601
there goes that 40-to-1 shot as the
field comes to the top of the stretch.
726
00:40:11,726 --> 00:40:13,686
- Bear in the Woods is still in front.
- Lead Balloon!
727
00:40:13,742 --> 00:40:15,476
David's Honey,
but here comes Lead Balloon!
728
00:40:15,571 --> 00:40:16,824
Come on, Lead Balloon! Come on!
729
00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:20,151
It's Bear in the stretch, and Lead
Balloon has suddenly charged to the front.
730
00:40:20,276 --> 00:40:22,323
He's pulling away.
What a tremendous effort!
731
00:40:22,417 --> 00:40:23,571
Lead Balloon!
732
00:40:23,696 --> 00:40:25,907
All right! He did it!
He did it! He did it!
733
00:40:26,032 --> 00:40:29,035
Lead Balloon! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I don't believe it! He did it!
734
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,954
Lead Balloon!
735
00:40:31,079 --> 00:40:34,415
If there was one horse we couldn't figure
in the feature, it was Lead Balloon.
736
00:40:34,541 --> 00:40:36,209
Drinks for everybody!
737
00:40:37,544 --> 00:40:41,840
Oh, Sam, it's gonna be Lead Balloon
by a nose. We talked Ziggy in--
738
00:40:42,382 --> 00:40:44,843
Here he is in the winner's circle now.
739
00:40:44,926 --> 00:40:47,220
- The race is over.
- Yeah.
740
00:40:47,512 --> 00:40:49,514
And are your thumbs okay?
They're okay?
741
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:51,015
- You made a bet!
- Yes.
742
00:40:51,140 --> 00:40:52,559
And you won!
Yes.
743
00:40:52,684 --> 00:40:56,104
In our eighth race,
it's Lead Balloon!
744
00:40:56,229 --> 00:40:59,524
Okay, you paid off the bookie.
Jessica's fine.
745
00:40:59,649 --> 00:41:01,317
You got here
with two minutes to spare.
746
00:41:01,484 --> 00:41:04,863
So all you have to do
is choose a wife already!
747
00:41:05,321 --> 00:41:06,823
No problem.
748
00:41:08,867 --> 00:41:10,076
Martin.
749
00:41:10,201 --> 00:41:12,078
- Ellen!
- Marty!
750
00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:13,705
Rachel?
751
00:41:14,455 --> 00:41:17,041
- What's she doing here?
- Uh, excuse me.
752
00:41:17,367 --> 00:41:19,619
- Uh, Rachel. Rachel.
- E-Excuse me!
753
00:41:19,919 --> 00:41:23,006
I think you've mistaken my
husband for someone else.
754
00:41:23,131 --> 00:41:25,633
- This is my husband!
- Sam, what's goin' on?
755
00:41:25,758 --> 00:41:28,595
Martin, is this one of your silly
little jokey-wokeys?
756
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:32,724
It better be a jokey-wokey.
This is no jokey-wokey-joke!
757
00:41:32,974 --> 00:41:34,934
I decided honesty would be
the best policy.
758
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:36,728
For Boy Scouts,
not for bigamists!
759
00:41:36,853 --> 00:41:40,607
Now, ladies, I think it's time
you both know something.
760
00:41:41,524 --> 00:41:44,277
I... am--
761
00:41:44,402 --> 00:41:47,030
- Sam! Sam!
- A bigamist.
762
00:41:48,114 --> 00:41:49,782
Stop it, will ya?
763
00:41:50,241 --> 00:41:53,411
First I married you,
and then I married you.
764
00:41:53,536 --> 00:41:55,163
Will you cut it out!
765
00:41:55,622 --> 00:41:58,708
Let's stop horsin' around
and grab a bite. I'm starving.
766
00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:02,921
Rachel. I'm the father
of your two children.
767
00:42:04,005 --> 00:42:06,799
Ellen, I'm the father
of your two children.
768
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:09,302
Will you change the subject,
for cryin' out loud?
769
00:42:09,427 --> 00:42:12,347
- Could we go home now, please?
- I have two homes.
770
00:42:12,555 --> 00:42:16,225
I have a home here with you
and a home with you in Brooklyn.
771
00:42:16,351 --> 00:42:20,271
Now, I'm not tellin' any more lies.
I brought you two together on purpose.
772
00:42:20,438 --> 00:42:23,483
On purpose? You brought them
togeth-- This was your plan?
773
00:42:23,650 --> 00:42:27,111
I'm a lowlife, so go ahead-
774
00:42:27,987 --> 00:42:29,572
let me have it.
775
00:42:30,865 --> 00:42:32,116
You hussy!
776
00:42:32,241 --> 00:42:34,702
- You home wrecker!
- He's my husband!
777
00:42:34,869 --> 00:42:36,440
- He's my husband!
- He's mine!
778
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,415
- He's mine!
- Driver's license-- Ellen Louise Elroy.
779
00:42:39,540 --> 00:42:41,501
Rachel Thelma Elroy.
Married!
780
00:42:41,626 --> 00:42:43,252
- Married!
- Father David Murphy.
781
00:42:43,378 --> 00:42:45,463
- Rabbi Barry Goldstein.
- That's enough!
782
00:42:47,006 --> 00:42:50,718
It's not her fault.
And it's not her fault.
783
00:42:51,094 --> 00:42:53,388
I'm the one
who married both of you.
784
00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:57,058
She didn't know you
were already married?
785
00:42:57,183 --> 00:42:58,393
No. I never told her.
786
00:42:58,518 --> 00:43:01,854
You hocked my silver candlesticks
from Great Grandma Sara...
787
00:43:01,980 --> 00:43:03,648
so you could spend money on her?
788
00:43:03,773 --> 00:43:05,525
I didn't spend it on her.
789
00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:08,444
I lost it at the track, I think.
790
00:43:08,569 --> 00:43:09,862
You can bet on it.
791
00:43:09,946 --> 00:43:12,740
You know what?
I believe you.
792
00:43:13,574 --> 00:43:16,744
He steals my children's allowance
and spends it on horse races.
793
00:43:16,869 --> 00:43:20,039
And then he sends them to school
with lunch in a barf bag!
794
00:43:20,164 --> 00:43:22,952
I'm sure that neither one of
you have been happy one day
795
00:43:23,065 --> 00:43:24,734
with good old Marty
since you married him.
796
00:43:24,788 --> 00:43:26,351
What are you saying, Sam?
797
00:43:26,504 --> 00:43:29,298
Well, I've always been
worried about something.
798
00:43:29,424 --> 00:43:32,301
I'm always worried we're not
going to be able to make rent.
799
00:43:32,427 --> 00:43:34,971
I am constantly worried
we're going to lose the house.
800
00:43:35,096 --> 00:43:37,140
Really? Oh, they're
bonding. That's bad.
801
00:43:37,265 --> 00:43:39,726
I cannot tell you how many sleepless
nights I've spent wondering
802
00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,352
when the bank was
going to foreclose.
803
00:43:41,519 --> 00:43:43,813
Sam, the train is going
in the wrong direction.
804
00:43:43,938 --> 00:43:46,065
No, it's going in exactly
the right direction.
805
00:43:46,357 --> 00:43:48,985
You know what? I think he's been
taking advantage of both of us.
806
00:43:49,235 --> 00:43:52,238
- I know he has.
- Of course, he has.
807
00:43:54,407 --> 00:43:56,117
- Marty?
- Hmm?
808
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,996
I know this is going to come as a
shock to you, but I'm leaving you.
809
00:44:00,121 --> 00:44:02,790
- Ellen gets him! I knew it! I knew it!
- Ellen, he's all yours.
810
00:44:02,957 --> 00:44:05,668
Oh, no. I'm going home and
changing the locks. He's yours.
811
00:44:05,793 --> 00:44:08,171
Oh, I knew Rachel gets him.
I don't want him!
812
00:44:08,303 --> 00:44:10,972
- Well, neither do I!
- Now you've blown it for both of them!
813
00:44:11,132 --> 00:44:13,968
- Do something, Sam!
- I think I just did.
814
00:44:15,094 --> 00:44:17,346
I guess we're both
leaving you, Martin.
815
00:44:17,972 --> 00:44:19,390
I guess I deserve it.
816
00:44:19,557 --> 00:44:21,309
Sam, this is incredible!
You're changing history.
817
00:44:21,434 --> 00:44:24,353
Rachel marries a doctor,
and her kids graduate from college.
818
00:44:24,479 --> 00:44:26,606
- What about Ellen?
- I agree with Rachel.
819
00:44:26,731 --> 00:44:28,733
We've let you get away
with murder.
820
00:44:29,317 --> 00:44:32,779
Uh, Ellen-- She becomes a marriage
counselor and she remarries,
821
00:44:32,904 --> 00:44:34,489
and her kids are fine too.
822
00:44:34,614 --> 00:44:36,866
And, oh, get this. Get this!
823
00:44:36,991 --> 00:44:39,911
Marty cleans up his
act and makes a bundle
824
00:44:40,036 --> 00:44:42,080
on the lecture circuit
talking about his story.
825
00:44:42,205 --> 00:44:44,707
And-And you know what?
It has got to stop.
826
00:44:44,832 --> 00:44:47,919
You're right.
It has to stop.
827
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,384
Goodbye, Martin.
828
00:44:56,803 --> 00:44:58,513
See ya, Marty.
829
00:44:59,847 --> 00:45:01,682
Would you like to come to my
house for a cup of coffee,
830
00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,059
and we could talk about this?
831
00:45:03,184 --> 00:45:04,769
I'd love to.
Great.
832
00:45:04,894 --> 00:45:06,813
- You know something?
- Yes!
833
00:45:06,938 --> 00:45:09,107
You know somethin'?
I don't believe it.
834
00:45:09,232 --> 00:45:10,316
What?
835
00:45:10,399 --> 00:45:14,403
You figured out that you leapt in
to blow Marty's scam,
836
00:45:14,487 --> 00:45:16,364
and you didn't tell me.
837
00:45:16,489 --> 00:45:21,327
You knew! You knew, Sam!
You knew it! You didn't tell me!
838
00:45:21,410 --> 00:45:23,167
- Would you have listened to me?
- Marty!
839
00:45:23,409 --> 00:45:25,369
- Daddy!
- Oh, Marty!
840
00:45:25,623 --> 00:45:27,041
Surprise!
841
00:45:28,668 --> 00:45:30,169
Hi, Daddy!
842
00:45:31,712 --> 00:45:34,006
Oh, boy!
843
00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:44,851
All right! All right!
Listen-Listen to me!
844
00:45:44,976 --> 00:45:49,730
We are here tonight, not because
we want more rights than men have,
845
00:45:49,772 --> 00:45:53,442
but because we want
the same rights men have.
846
00:45:53,526 --> 00:45:56,904
- I'm asking you to burn it!
- Do it! Just do it!
847
00:45:56,988 --> 00:46:00,283
Burn it for liberation!
Burn it now!
848
00:46:02,577 --> 00:46:04,162
Liberation now!
849
00:46:04,245 --> 00:46:07,331
- Liberation now!
- Oh, boy.
850
00:46:07,999 --> 00:46:12,044
Liberation now!
Liberation now!