1
00:00:01,823 --> 00:00:05,259
Theorizing that one could time travel
within his own lifetime,
2
00:00:05,327 --> 00:00:09,058
Dr. Sam Beckett led an elite group
of scientists into the desert...
3
00:00:09,131 --> 00:00:13,227
to develop a top secret project
known as Quantum Leap.
4
00:00:13,301 --> 00:00:15,895
Pressured to prove his theories
or lose funding,
5
00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:19,634
Dr. Beckett prematurely
stepped into the project accelerator...
6
00:00:19,708 --> 00:00:21,699
and vanished.
7
00:00:27,782 --> 00:00:30,478
He awoke to find himself in the past,
8
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:35,683
suffering from partial amnesia
and facing a mirror image
that was not his own.
9
00:00:35,757 --> 00:00:37,918
Fortunately,
contact with his own time...
10
00:00:37,993 --> 00:00:42,259
was maintained through
brain wave transmissions with Al,
the project observer,
11
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:47,063
who appears in the form of a hologram
that only Dr. Beckett can see and hear.
12
00:00:47,135 --> 00:00:50,502
Trapped in the past,
Dr. Beckett finds himself
leaping from life to life,
13
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:53,541
putting things right
that once went wrong...
14
00:00:53,608 --> 00:00:57,669
and hoping each time
that his next leap will be the leap home.
15
00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,011
It is too!
16
00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,147
It is not.
That is my Queen T-shirt.
17
00:01:09,224 --> 00:01:11,317
It's not yours, jerk.
18
00:01:11,393 --> 00:01:16,228
Read my lips, barf-head.
That's my shirt, and I want it back.
19
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:18,664
It's Peggy Couche's.
Now, would you leave me alone!
20
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:20,701
Give me that.
21
00:01:20,769 --> 00:01:25,536
- I went to that Queen concert,
and I paid for it with my own money!
- Look what Wookiee did. He ate my doll.
22
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,768
Get your grubby hands off,
and keep outta my room!
23
00:01:27,842 --> 00:01:30,072
It's not your T-shirt.
It is too.
24
00:01:30,145 --> 00:01:31,874
It is not.
Liar.
25
00:01:31,947 --> 00:01:33,881
Booger-face.
26
00:01:33,949 --> 00:01:36,417
Give it back, moron!
Come and get it, shrimp!
27
00:01:36,484 --> 00:01:38,452
Mommy!
Mom!
28
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,286
Mom, please fix my doll.
29
00:01:44,459 --> 00:01:46,757
My poor dolly's all chewed up.
30
00:01:46,828 --> 00:01:48,762
I'm a mommy.
Give me...
31
00:03:09,777 --> 00:03:12,143
- Give it to me!
- No! Give it to me!
32
00:03:12,213 --> 00:03:14,613
Listen. It's my shirt.
You took it out of my room.
33
00:03:14,682 --> 00:03:17,549
It's Peggy's shirt!
You took this out of my room,
and you know it.
34
00:03:17,618 --> 00:03:20,451
Look what you did. Great.
That is Peggy's shirt.
35
00:03:20,521 --> 00:03:24,184
It's my shirt, Susan!
It's Peggy's shirt.
36
00:03:24,258 --> 00:03:26,522
I went to this concert.
I remember the concert.
37
00:03:26,594 --> 00:03:28,528
- Oh, you brute.
- Give it to me!
38
00:03:28,596 --> 00:03:30,587
Oh, my heavens.
39
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,693
I know I fought
with my brother and sister.
40
00:03:34,769 --> 00:03:36,794
It's the law of sibling survival.
41
00:03:36,871 --> 00:03:39,863
But somehow I always remember
Mom and Dad bringing us under control...
42
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:42,101
with a kind but firm word.
43
00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:44,576
Quiet!
44
00:03:52,053 --> 00:03:53,987
Wow.
45
00:03:54,055 --> 00:03:56,819
Mom just reached max gross load.
46
00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:59,587
You're the gross load.
Oh, yeah? Look who's talking.
47
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:01,890
You're the one
who ripped my shirt.
48
00:04:01,962 --> 00:04:04,192
What am I supposed to do
about Peggy's shirt?
49
00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,495
My shirt. And you're gonna
buy a new one for me.
50
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:09,502
Enough, okay? Enough.
51
00:04:10,504 --> 00:04:13,769
Now it's nobody's shirt.
Now it's just a... a torn rag.
52
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:15,775
Where's my mommy?
53
00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:18,209
She's in front of you.
54
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,440
That's not my mommy.
That's a man.
55
00:04:20,514 --> 00:04:23,449
Wild.
56
00:04:25,319 --> 00:04:27,787
I want my mommy.
57
00:04:33,761 --> 00:04:35,888
Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy! Mommy!
Uh-oh, Mom.
58
00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:38,056
Baby breakdown.
59
00:04:38,132 --> 00:04:41,192
What's wrong with Teresa?
Too much Sesame Street.
60
00:04:41,268 --> 00:04:43,202
I've never seen her do that before.
61
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,204
Would... Would you, uh...
62
00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:49,140
Would you just, uh, go check on her?
Why me?
63
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:52,941
Yeah, sending Susan
is like sending Jaws
to get the kids out of the pool.
64
00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:57,916
I got science lab, Mom.
First check on your sister.
65
00:04:58,986 --> 00:05:00,977
Please.
66
00:05:03,691 --> 00:05:08,253
You see before you a classic example
of the devastating effects brought about...
67
00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:11,696
when parents brutally yell
at their impressionable children.
68
00:05:11,765 --> 00:05:14,825
There's the signpost up ahead...
Go to school.
69
00:05:14,902 --> 00:05:18,702
That's not my mommy.
You would send me off to face the world...
70
00:05:18,772 --> 00:05:21,172
without breakfast?
71
00:05:24,745 --> 00:05:28,078
Uh, we... No, um...
Course not.
72
00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:32,418
I'm sorry, Mom.
73
00:05:32,486 --> 00:05:35,580
I mean, I know this divorce thing
has been real tough on you.
74
00:05:35,656 --> 00:05:37,624
I'm divorced.
75
00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:40,387
But like you said,
the hard part is over.
76
00:05:40,461 --> 00:05:42,691
I di... I... I did.
77
00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:46,028
And that bimbo Dad ran off with
is almost punishment enough.
78
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,660
It's time to think about yourself.
Yeah, well,
79
00:05:48,736 --> 00:05:50,704
uh, you know, it... it's...
80
00:05:50,771 --> 00:05:53,968
It's hard.
Well, you're doin'it.
81
00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:56,305
I mean, you got
your real estate license.
82
00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:59,505
I know you'll sell
one of those tacky houses soon.
83
00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:05,551
I'm real proud of you, Mom.
84
00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:09,680
Wow. She has totally freaked out.
85
00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:14,194
What do you mean?
She says you're not her mother.
86
00:06:14,261 --> 00:06:18,925
And get this. You're a strange man
dressed in Mommy's clothes.
87
00:06:18,999 --> 00:06:22,594
Ooh.
I mean, totally creepy.
88
00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:26,697
Residual flashbacks
from your hippie days, Mom.
89
00:06:26,774 --> 00:06:29,368
I got her to come down
and take another look.
90
00:06:29,443 --> 00:06:31,377
Come on, munchkin.
91
00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:33,538
Come on.
92
00:06:33,614 --> 00:06:35,548
See? It's Mommy.
93
00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:40,711
That's not my mommy.
That's a man.
94
00:06:41,789 --> 00:06:43,882
So's the guy in the yucky shirt.
95
00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:47,291
This is my favorite shirt.
This is cutting-edge stuff.
96
00:06:47,361 --> 00:06:48,885
It's yucky.
97
00:06:48,963 --> 00:06:51,830
This is too weird.
98
00:06:51,899 --> 00:06:55,266
I want my mommy! Mommy!
99
00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:57,463
Definitely too much
Sesame Street.
100
00:06:57,538 --> 00:06:59,472
Sam, she...
Mommy!
101
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,474
She could see me.
I know that.
102
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:04,033
Finally, somebody agrees with me.
103
00:07:04,111 --> 00:07:06,136
Maybe somebody should,
uh, talk to her.
104
00:07:06,213 --> 00:07:08,807
Do you... Do you think
you could go and... and...
105
00:07:08,882 --> 00:07:11,146
talk to her again, uh, please?
106
00:07:11,218 --> 00:07:16,087
Mom, I'm 11.
I won't have my psych degree
for another 15 years.
107
00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:19,785
They don't give degrees
to the hopelessly stupid.
Okay. All right, please.
108
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,454
You owe me for that shirt.
109
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:26,693
Get real.
Mom, don't forget.
You've got carpool to Girl Scouts,
110
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:30,464
and I have a fitting
for my new soccer uniform
this afternoon.
111
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,631
- They got that gross blue.
- This afternoon?
112
00:07:33,707 --> 00:07:35,800
- Mom, my swim meet is this afternoon.
- Mommy.
113
00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:37,810
Look, you gotta be
at my swim meet.
114
00:07:37,878 --> 00:07:41,177
All right. I'll be... Uh, wait. Wait.
What about, uh, uh, Teresa?
115
00:07:41,248 --> 00:07:45,548
Oh, Mother Warrior,
you must face her alone.
116
00:07:45,619 --> 00:07:49,419
Or at least until Rafaella
gets here at noon. I gotta go.
117
00:07:50,524 --> 00:07:53,925
Mom, wear a dress to show
that house this morning, will ya?
118
00:07:57,965 --> 00:07:59,956
House.
119
00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:02,025
Sam,
120
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:06,971
Ziggy says that kids
under the age of five exist in a...
121
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:10,477
In a natural alpha state,
and that's how come
she could see me.
122
00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:13,035
That's why she can see you,
but how can she see me?
123
00:08:13,113 --> 00:08:15,843
Animals and kids,
that's great.
What did she say after Girl Scouts?
124
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:18,783
They're pure of heart.
You know you can't lie to a kid.
125
00:08:18,852 --> 00:08:22,549
They see right through you.
They see the real you.
126
00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:24,784
And little, uh... little, uh...
Teresa.
127
00:08:24,858 --> 00:08:28,988
Ter... little Teresa,
she sees only the truth.
128
00:08:31,198 --> 00:08:34,531
Problem is,
the truth is her mother's gone.
129
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,626
Mommy!
130
00:08:36,704 --> 00:08:38,968
What am I gonna do, Al?
131
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:43,808
I guess you gotta
tell her the truth.
132
00:08:43,877 --> 00:08:45,845
Please don't hide
from me, Mommy.
133
00:08:45,913 --> 00:08:47,847
Poor kid. Okay.
134
00:08:47,915 --> 00:08:50,281
Where's my mommy?
135
00:08:57,124 --> 00:08:59,319
Um...
136
00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:01,554
Uh, your mommy, uh...
137
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,619
Hummina, hummina.
Your mommy.
138
00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:07,531
Oh, your mommy had to
go away for a little while,
but she's gonna be back real soon.
139
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:11,401
Yeah, my name is Sam,
and... and this is Al.
140
00:09:11,472 --> 00:09:13,702
And for the next couple of days,
141
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:17,141
everybody's gonna pretend
that I'm your mommy.
142
00:09:17,211 --> 00:09:19,145
That's good, Sam.
Thank you.
143
00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:20,771
Why?
144
00:09:20,848 --> 00:09:23,442
Why?
Why? Why?
145
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:26,315
Um...
146
00:09:26,387 --> 00:09:28,719
Oh. To help your big brother.
147
00:09:28,789 --> 00:09:30,723
Do what?
148
00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:32,782
Do what?
Do...
149
00:09:34,862 --> 00:09:38,161
Oh, uh, to... to win the swim meet.
150
00:09:38,232 --> 00:09:40,928
Are you angels?
151
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:42,935
Yes.
No.
152
00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:46,632
Yes, uh, this is Angel Sam,
and I'm Angel Al.
153
00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:48,641
The truth, Al.
154
00:09:48,709 --> 00:09:51,143
Here, I'll show you.
Try and touch my hand.
155
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:56,275
Come on back here.
156
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:01,552
- See?
- You see, we're, uh, a couple of angels,
157
00:10:01,622 --> 00:10:03,920
and we're here to help Kevin
win the swim meet.
158
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:06,186
And after we do that,
then we'll be gone,
159
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:09,957
and... and your mommy
will come back.
Promise?
160
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,089
Oh, yeah, promise.
Promise.
161
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,794
Can you fix it, please?
162
00:10:14,868 --> 00:10:19,635
Oh, uh, Wookiee.
Wookiee, the dog ate the...
Uh, Angel Sam is the... the doll elf.
163
00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:23,007
Uh, here.
164
00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:25,772
Then will you read me a story?
165
00:10:25,846 --> 00:10:28,007
What a great...
That's a great idea.
Yeah, but...
166
00:10:28,081 --> 00:10:30,515
But you gotta hold
the book and turn the pages.
Yeah.
167
00:10:30,584 --> 00:10:32,677
That's a good deal.
168
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:36,519
Okay, you go pick out a book,
and then I'll come right along.
169
00:10:42,396 --> 00:10:45,365
Okay, Al,
what are we really here to do?
170
00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:49,266
Well, I didn't want to say it
in front of her,
171
00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:53,002
but sometime in the next 24 hours...
172
00:10:53,073 --> 00:10:55,234
Kevin runs away from home and...
173
00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:57,243
And?
174
00:10:57,311 --> 00:11:00,041
He vanishes off the face of the earth.
175
00:11:01,415 --> 00:11:03,576
He can't just vanish.
176
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:07,848
Six months later, his bloodied clothes
were found in an abandoned van.
177
00:11:09,256 --> 00:11:11,918
They never found his body, Sam.
178
00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:14,688
And his mother
never allowed the case to be closed.
179
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,907
I'm really glad you're enjoying
this positive parental experience,
180
00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:32,968
- I am.
- But we have a problem here.
181
00:11:33,245 --> 00:11:36,146
Al, why would I come back
as a mother?
182
00:11:36,215 --> 00:11:38,149
Well, because, uh,
183
00:11:38,217 --> 00:11:42,085
Dad is off having
a severe case of midlife crisis.
184
00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:47,820
Well, fine. But how am I gonna find out
why Kevin runs off if I don't even
have time to turn around?
185
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:50,555
I mean, would you look
at this woman's schedule?
186
00:11:50,629 --> 00:11:53,757
Car pool, music lessons,
Mommy and Me art class...
That's just for today.
187
00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:56,267
Calm down. Okay, okay, okay.
Luncheon for the P.T.A., music...
188
00:11:56,335 --> 00:11:59,600
Calm down already, all right?
You're getting...
You're gonna hyperventilate.
189
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:03,600
Nobody ever said
it was gonna be easy being a mother.
190
00:12:03,676 --> 00:12:09,308
But since you are a mother,
you gotta figure out why your 15-year-old
is gonna run away tonight.
191
00:12:12,051 --> 00:12:14,542
What's the worst thing
you can remember about being 15?
192
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,554
Who, me?
Yeah.
193
00:12:16,622 --> 00:12:20,615
Oh. Getting busted
by her parents just as I was...
194
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:23,287
Al, Al. I doubt that this has
anything to do with sex.
195
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:25,728
Well, of course it...
What else could it be about?
196
00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:28,062
Lots of things.
I mean, when I was 15, I had...
197
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,124
I had trouble because
I was smart and shy.
198
00:12:30,202 --> 00:12:34,070
The kid is funny.
He's not Einstein.
Maybe it's a cover.
199
00:12:34,139 --> 00:12:36,903
Maybe he's using humor
to hide his emotions.
200
00:12:36,976 --> 00:12:39,774
- All right. What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
201
00:12:39,845 --> 00:12:41,836
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
202
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:45,281
But I know I can't...
You know, I can't follow him around all day.
203
00:12:46,719 --> 00:12:49,244
What?
204
00:12:49,321 --> 00:12:52,813
I can't follow him around, but you can.
No, no.
205
00:12:52,892 --> 00:12:54,416
Yes.
Uh-uh.
206
00:12:54,493 --> 00:12:56,427
Yes.
No. Lookit.
207
00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:59,328
Reading stories to the munchkin,
okay, that's one thing.
208
00:12:59,398 --> 00:13:02,196
But Sam Spadeing
a 15-year-old kid... forget it.
209
00:13:02,268 --> 00:13:04,236
Al, it's no problem.
You get Gooshie,
No. Uh-uh.
210
00:13:04,303 --> 00:13:07,670
He centers you in on Kevin,
never knows you're there.
Don't tell me about Gooshie.
211
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,674
I'm not gonna do it.
I really appreciate this.
212
00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:11,801
No.
Thank you very much.
213
00:13:11,877 --> 00:13:14,846
It's out of the question.
Al... I owe you one then, okay?
214
00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:18,781
Uh, we got somebody
called Al for dinner?
215
00:13:26,191 --> 00:13:27,920
Hey, check it out, man.
216
00:13:27,993 --> 00:13:30,120
Baby has legs up to her neck.
217
00:13:30,195 --> 00:13:32,789
You gotta be kidding.
She's a walking beanpole.
218
00:13:32,865 --> 00:13:36,198
A beanpole? And I guess
you wouldn't like to climb it, right?
219
00:13:36,268 --> 00:13:38,202
Wouldn't or couldn't?
220
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,933
She's jailbait.
Oh, yeah? And what are you, runt?
221
00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:46,273
Too hip to rob the cradle,
no matter how many points.
222
00:13:46,345 --> 00:13:50,441
Now, if the Kev were truly
lookin' for some action,
223
00:13:50,516 --> 00:13:52,450
he'd go after, uh,
224
00:13:53,452 --> 00:13:55,386
Jackie Arnett.
225
00:13:57,756 --> 00:13:59,815
- Oh!
- Jackie.
226
00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:01,826
Ahhh.
Jackie.
227
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:05,728
Jackie! Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!
228
00:14:05,798 --> 00:14:07,732
Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!
229
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,859
Stop it, guys!
230
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:12,802
She's, uh, not my speed.
231
00:14:12,871 --> 00:14:16,568
What is your speed,
micro-stud? Reverse?
232
00:14:16,642 --> 00:14:19,907
She happens to live a couple of blocks
from me, and we've become...
233
00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:21,913
friendly.
234
00:14:21,981 --> 00:14:24,541
Jackie Arnett is friendly
with anybody that'll say hello.
235
00:14:24,616 --> 00:14:28,814
That's a lie.
Come on, Kev.
The whole track team's had her, buddy.
236
00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:32,084
I said that's a lie.
He defends her honor.
237
00:14:32,157 --> 00:14:34,387
Ah. Perhaps this is true love.
238
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:40,057
Absolutely love.
Oh, but she wouldn't be desperate enough
for a class "C" creature like Kevin.
239
00:14:40,132 --> 00:14:43,590
Class "C." I like it, man.
Speak for yourself, zero charisma.
240
00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:48,705
All I'm sayin'is she's not like that.
241
00:14:48,774 --> 00:14:51,004
- Hey. That's nice, Kevin.
- What is she like?
242
00:14:51,076 --> 00:14:56,173
She's a strumpet.
Worth maybe, uh, 50 points.
Right, Teddy, huh?
243
00:14:56,248 --> 00:15:00,150
Oh, not Demon and Dragon freaks.
I hate that game.
244
00:15:00,219 --> 00:15:04,519
A challenge.
A test of your noble manhood.
245
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:08,026
Bring on the dragons,
you warted trolls.
246
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:10,962
Thank you, ladies.
247
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:14,056
And bring back a sacred sign
of his victory.
248
00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:17,193
Like her panties.
Face the challenge, jester,
249
00:15:17,269 --> 00:15:18,930
and earn your knighthood.
250
00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:22,030
I smell a setup comin' here.
251
00:15:22,107 --> 00:15:24,041
So be it.
252
00:15:24,109 --> 00:15:26,907
Handle it, squire.
Grow up.
253
00:15:26,979 --> 00:15:29,243
Never mind.
I'll handle this myself.
254
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,545
Hey, where's he going?
255
00:15:37,556 --> 00:15:40,218
To set the stage
for your conquest.
256
00:15:40,292 --> 00:15:42,658
Yeah, just a little help
from your friends, right?
257
00:15:42,728 --> 00:15:45,595
Gooshie, center me on Sam.
258
00:15:51,136 --> 00:15:54,572
I'm not gonna tell a 15-year-old boy
how to seduce a girl.
259
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,234
I don't see where you have
any choice in this, Sam.
260
00:15:57,309 --> 00:15:59,277
The kid is... is... is...
He's inexperienced.
261
00:15:59,344 --> 00:16:01,710
He's supposed to be
inexperienced. He's 15.
262
00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:05,181
I kno...
I'll have you know when I was fif...
263
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:10,688
The fact that you were a practicing
pervert at the age of five has nothing
to do with the rest of the world.
264
00:16:10,756 --> 00:16:14,089
Words of wisdom from the world's
most sexually backward teenager.
265
00:16:14,159 --> 00:16:16,389
This has nothing to do with
my adolescent experience.
266
00:16:16,462 --> 00:16:20,592
Since you were sent here
to help him, I figure it does.
No.
267
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:24,397
Listen, Mr. Moral,
if you and I represent opposite ends
of the sexual spectrum,
268
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:27,405
that puts Kevin about normal.
No.
269
00:16:27,473 --> 00:16:31,102
You gotta help him, Sam.
His buddies are
setting him up for a fall.
270
00:16:31,176 --> 00:16:33,474
When he takes it, he runs away.
271
00:16:33,545 --> 00:16:36,446
Besides, I think he likes the girl.
272
00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:40,941
How would you know?
Well, he defended her honor.
273
00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:44,682
I mean, you never defend
a girl's honor unless you...
you really like her.
274
00:16:48,727 --> 00:16:53,790
No. No, I'm not going to encourage
a 15-year-old boy to have
sexual intercourse.
275
00:16:53,866 --> 00:16:56,858
What's secular undercourse?
276
00:16:59,404 --> 00:17:02,498
Uh, it's a game grown-ups play.
277
00:17:02,574 --> 00:17:06,032
Why... Why... Why don't we, uh,
wash up for dinner?
278
00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:09,137
I'm too little
to wash up for dinner.
279
00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:10,647
What, to wash up?
280
00:17:13,152 --> 00:17:15,086
See?
281
00:17:15,154 --> 00:17:17,384
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Let... Let me help you.
282
00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:19,822
Let me... Let me help you.
283
00:17:19,892 --> 00:17:22,486
Let me have this dolly, please.
284
00:17:23,762 --> 00:17:25,753
Al, what if we teach him
about romance?
285
00:17:25,831 --> 00:17:28,698
Romance?
I'm sure you've heard of it.
286
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:31,327
The art of making someone
fall in love with you.
287
00:17:31,403 --> 00:17:34,429
Well, what kind of acceptance
is that gonna give him?
288
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:37,669
It's gonna get him honor.
289
00:17:37,743 --> 00:17:41,110
These demons are on a quest,
and it isn't for honor.
290
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:44,081
Look, if Kevin goes about this
the right way...
291
00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:46,083
and ends up with the girl he likes,
292
00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:49,518
then his warrior buddies
are gonna have to back off, right?
293
00:17:49,588 --> 00:17:51,579
Then he won't run away.
294
00:17:51,657 --> 00:17:53,648
Simple.
295
00:17:54,927 --> 00:17:57,919
Oh, no!
Oh, no.
296
00:17:57,996 --> 00:18:01,227
Hmm. What do you think, Teresa?
297
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,598
Yuck.
It's ruined.
298
00:18:03,669 --> 00:18:08,732
I hope you're better at romance
than whatever that was supposed to be.
299
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:14,809
Teresa, what do you say
we go pick up your brother and sister,
300
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,007
and we'll all go out to eat?
301
00:18:17,082 --> 00:18:19,380
- Pizza!
- Pizza!
302
00:18:19,451 --> 00:18:21,385
Pizza. No pizza for you.
303
00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,813
Susan. Susan.
304
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:54,845
Please come back.
Get your books
and your uniform, all right?
305
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,356
- Mom, I'm gonna miss Magnum.
- It's gonna run for
the next eight years, okay?
306
00:18:58,423 --> 00:19:00,357
I think you got a little time.
307
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:02,916
Come here.
Look at your face.
308
00:19:02,995 --> 00:19:06,522
Will you take Teresa upstairs
and wash the ice cream off of her face?
309
00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:10,163
Thank you.
Come on, munchkin.
310
00:19:10,235 --> 00:19:13,068
No. I want to stay with Sam.
311
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:15,072
Honey...
312
00:19:16,375 --> 00:19:20,072
Would you... Would you do me a favor
and, uh, take my purse in for me?
313
00:19:20,145 --> 00:19:22,443
It's kind of heavy.
You got it?
314
00:19:22,514 --> 00:19:25,312
I can do it, Sam.
Thank you.
315
00:19:33,692 --> 00:19:35,683
You okay?
316
00:19:36,695 --> 00:19:38,686
Yeah. Yeah, I'm great.
317
00:19:38,764 --> 00:19:42,495
I mean, uh, everything all right?
318
00:19:43,568 --> 00:19:47,470
Yeah, sure.
I was just drifting in the ozone.
319
00:19:51,743 --> 00:19:53,836
Hey, uh, Kevin, you, uh...
320
00:19:53,912 --> 00:19:55,880
Wanna play some Ping-Pong?
321
00:19:57,049 --> 00:19:59,210
You hate Ping-Pong.
322
00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:01,218
I do?
323
00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:03,777
Well, I mean, that's because...
324
00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:06,221
I didn't want you to know
how good I was.
325
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:08,350
Come on.
326
00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:22,540
Nice shot, Mom.
327
00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:25,098
Whenever my, uh,
328
00:20:25,177 --> 00:20:27,805
dad wanted to have
a heart-to-heart with us,
329
00:20:27,879 --> 00:20:30,404
usually it took place
over a Ping-Pong table.
330
00:20:31,483 --> 00:20:34,043
So, uh, what do you wanna talk about?
331
00:20:36,688 --> 00:20:40,249
Well, you looked like
you needed someone to talk to.
Nope.
332
00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:46,193
Look, come on.
Kevin, I know that...
that there's somethin' bothering you.
333
00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:50,028
Too cool to talk to your mom?
334
00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:54,929
It's just...
335
00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:56,940
You know, guy stuff.
336
00:20:58,210 --> 00:21:00,735
Yeah, well, you know,
if it has to do with girls,
337
00:21:00,812 --> 00:21:03,542
I... I... I might know more than...
More than you think.
338
00:21:03,615 --> 00:21:06,015
Yeah, I know. You used to be one.
339
00:21:06,084 --> 00:21:08,951
Yeah. Well, uh...
340
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,424
No. No, that's not what I meant.
341
00:21:13,492 --> 00:21:15,426
I mean, if... if you wanna...
342
00:21:15,494 --> 00:21:18,588
If you need to talk to them,
or, you know, find out what...
343
00:21:18,663 --> 00:21:21,928
You know, things that
they like to hear, you know?
344
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,664
Like, um, do you know
where to put your hands
when you dance with a girl?
345
00:21:26,738 --> 00:21:30,902
This is, uh, too weird.
346
00:21:30,976 --> 00:21:33,137
You know, I can't talk to you
because you're...
347
00:21:33,211 --> 00:21:35,771
- You're my mom.
- Sam.
348
00:21:35,847 --> 00:21:38,441
Me and Wookiee made a painting.
349
00:21:38,517 --> 00:21:39,779
Oh, Teresa.
350
00:21:39,851 --> 00:21:43,116
Hey, you know, I think it's kind of punk.
351
00:21:43,188 --> 00:21:45,122
Oh, no, Wookiee, come ba... Here.
352
00:21:46,224 --> 00:21:48,385
Oh, Teresa.
Okay, here we go.
353
00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:50,690
Oh, don't touch any...
Wookiee, get off the couch!
354
00:21:50,762 --> 00:21:52,992
"Sam."
355
00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:21,422
See you. Bye.
356
00:22:30,769 --> 00:22:32,737
Hi, Mom.
357
00:22:50,822 --> 00:22:54,724
Come on, Jackie.
It's a hysterical idea.
358
00:22:54,793 --> 00:22:57,853
Besides, it's, uh,
just sort of an initiation.
359
00:22:57,929 --> 00:22:59,863
It still seems mean.
360
00:22:59,931 --> 00:23:02,491
You're not gonna back out
on us now, are you, Jackie?
361
00:23:02,567 --> 00:23:05,559
Come on. He might get
a little mad at first.
362
00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:08,629
But once he's a full wizard,
he's gonna be totally grateful.
363
00:23:08,707 --> 00:23:10,698
Totally.
364
00:23:10,775 --> 00:23:13,437
Of course, as class president,
365
00:23:13,512 --> 00:23:17,243
whoever I take to
the Mardi Gras Dance
is crowned queen.
366
00:23:17,315 --> 00:23:21,479
But if you wouldn't like the honor,
I'm sure that I could...
I already told my mom.
367
00:23:21,553 --> 00:23:23,851
Then we're on?
368
00:23:25,891 --> 00:23:28,917
Okay.
Call Kevin and tell him
to be here at 8:00.
369
00:23:28,994 --> 00:23:31,428
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
370
00:23:31,496 --> 00:23:34,897
This morning was like
any other on Oahu.
371
00:23:34,966 --> 00:23:38,493
A beautiful woman
named Christie DeBolt
had hired me to,
372
00:23:38,570 --> 00:23:42,904
uh, play games
with her sister Louise.
373
00:23:42,974 --> 00:23:47,377
She said games.
I would have said
helping a rich girl live out her fantasies.
374
00:23:47,445 --> 00:23:50,141
Okay, so it wasn't
like any other morning,
375
00:23:50,215 --> 00:23:53,878
but one has to be ready
to expect the unexpected.
376
00:23:53,952 --> 00:23:57,251
At any rate, I wasn't gonna
let it affect my workout.
377
00:23:59,291 --> 00:24:00,952
Hi, guys.
378
00:24:05,564 --> 00:24:09,967
I'd never seen a black orchid
before, although technically they
can't exist, you know.
379
00:24:10,969 --> 00:24:14,496
- The box doesn't have
the florist's name on it...
- What do you see in that geek?
380
00:24:14,573 --> 00:24:18,509
What are you, blind?
The man is terminally gorgeous.
381
00:24:18,577 --> 00:24:20,909
He's a "wuz. "
Please.
382
00:24:20,979 --> 00:24:23,209
You have a major case ofjealousy.
383
00:24:23,281 --> 00:24:25,977
Of what? The guy talks like
he's been sucking helium,
384
00:24:26,051 --> 00:24:27,985
and he giggles like a girl.
385
00:24:28,053 --> 00:24:31,147
The only thing that matters
is that he's sensitive,
386
00:24:31,222 --> 00:24:34,658
and he understands
the needs of a woman.
387
00:24:34,726 --> 00:24:37,991
And what makes you
such an expert
on a woman's needs, runt?
388
00:24:38,063 --> 00:24:40,657
Knowledge by gender, jerk.
389
00:24:40,732 --> 00:24:42,996
Take the orchid back
into the house, Higgins.
390
00:24:43,068 --> 00:24:45,901
I'd like to meet the owner, if you don't mind.
Uh,
391
00:24:47,205 --> 00:24:49,673
Sue,
392
00:24:49,741 --> 00:24:52,767
if you had a guy that,
393
00:24:52,844 --> 00:24:55,108
like... you know, he liked you,
394
00:24:56,715 --> 00:24:59,149
what would he have to do to, uh...
395
00:25:00,218 --> 00:25:03,051
- You know.
- I'm 11.
396
00:25:03,121 --> 00:25:06,852
I don't have to deal with
that teenage mating ritual crap.
397
00:25:07,892 --> 00:25:12,556
But I'll tell you one thing.
You wouldn't be the school joke.
398
00:25:15,634 --> 00:25:17,829
Hey, you creep, I was watching that!
399
00:25:17,902 --> 00:25:21,269
I'm not gonna stay here
and put up with your garbage!
400
00:25:21,339 --> 00:25:24,399
Tell Mom I'm going to
Anita's to watch TV.
401
00:25:32,183 --> 00:25:34,174
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
402
00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:37,450
You didn't tell me
you were goin' out tonight.
403
00:25:37,522 --> 00:25:41,720
Yeah, sure I did. Remember last night
I said me and the guys were gonna
go see Raiders again?
404
00:25:41,793 --> 00:25:44,193
I'm cold.
Yeah, okay, okay.
405
00:25:44,262 --> 00:25:47,595
Um, I don't want you
goin' out tonight.
406
00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:49,190
Mom.
407
00:25:49,267 --> 00:25:51,895
It's too late to be goin' out.
It's not even 8:00!
408
00:25:51,970 --> 00:25:56,532
And what about Susan?
You know, she's over at Anita's
watching TV, and she's only 11.
409
00:25:56,608 --> 00:25:58,872
Anita's? Where's Anita's?
Next door.
410
00:25:58,943 --> 00:26:02,504
- Are you okay, Mom?
- He's not our mommy.
411
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:05,048
Have you ever considered
taking her to a baby shrink?
412
00:26:05,116 --> 00:26:07,243
I'm not a baby.
413
00:26:07,318 --> 00:26:09,343
Okay, a dwarf shrink.
414
00:26:09,421 --> 00:26:13,255
Look, Mom, I gotta go,
or I'm gonna miss the rock
rolling out of the cave.
415
00:26:13,324 --> 00:26:15,189
I said no.
416
00:26:22,934 --> 00:26:25,698
Kevin...
I'm going to my room!
Is that okay?
417
00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:29,399
I just thought maybe
you could stay down with us and...
418
00:26:29,474 --> 00:26:31,465
No! Thanks!
419
00:26:35,146 --> 00:26:38,513
Sam, what's a dwarf?
420
00:27:17,455 --> 00:27:20,083
Sam, Mommy sings me songs.
421
00:27:20,158 --> 00:27:22,456
I... I don't know any new songs. Honest.
422
00:27:22,527 --> 00:27:24,995
Please.
423
00:27:26,664 --> 00:27:30,361
Couldn't ya... Couldn't ya just kind of
just fall asleep yourself without a song?
424
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,204
Four and four are eight
425
00:27:43,715 --> 00:27:46,741
Where have you been?
Just go turn down the stereo, will ya?
426
00:27:48,219 --> 00:27:50,483
I'll sing you to sleep, honey.
427
00:27:50,555 --> 00:27:55,219
Inchworm
Inchworm
428
00:27:59,464 --> 00:28:02,695
You and your arithmetic
429
00:28:02,767 --> 00:28:06,669
Will probably go far
430
00:28:06,738 --> 00:28:11,198
Inchworm
Inchworm
431
00:28:29,093 --> 00:28:31,084
Al!
432
00:28:32,263 --> 00:28:34,356
Come on! Come on!
433
00:28:34,432 --> 00:28:38,334
God, Sam, I never really
wanted to have kids...
434
00:28:38,403 --> 00:28:40,371
Kevin's gone.
What?
435
00:28:40,438 --> 00:28:44,135
He wanted to go out earlier.
Wanted to go to the movie with
his friends. I wouldn't let him go.
436
00:28:44,209 --> 00:28:48,669
Yeah, but he...
Oh, he left the stereo on,
and he probably went out the window.
437
00:28:48,746 --> 00:28:51,909
I would have done the same thing.
I forced him to run away.
438
00:28:51,983 --> 00:28:54,281
No, you didn't. Why?
Telling him he couldn't go?
439
00:28:54,352 --> 00:28:57,981
No, no. It's those buddies of his.
They've got the thumbscrews on him.
440
00:28:58,056 --> 00:29:00,183
Jackie Arnett.
That's it.
441
00:29:00,258 --> 00:29:02,783
I'm gonna ask Ziggy
for her address.
Uh, what about Teresa?
442
00:29:02,861 --> 00:29:06,194
Uh, I'll stay here
and keep an eye on her
till you get back with Kevin.
443
00:29:06,264 --> 00:29:08,323
You're a hologram.
What if something happens?
444
00:29:08,399 --> 00:29:11,800
Uh...
Oh. Uh, Susan's next door.
445
00:29:11,870 --> 00:29:15,829
I'll go get her, and I'll call Rafaella
to have her come over, all right?
Okay, good.
446
00:29:15,907 --> 00:29:18,398
And I'll catch up with you
when Rafaella gets here.
447
00:29:27,151 --> 00:29:29,312
You know, it... it was, uh,
448
00:29:29,387 --> 00:29:32,015
real nice of you
to invite me over, Jackie.
449
00:29:34,626 --> 00:29:38,756
Look, Kevin,
you don't have to be nice to me.
450
00:29:38,830 --> 00:29:42,231
You don't even have to
talk to me if you don't want to.
451
00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:44,291
We could just get started.
452
00:29:44,369 --> 00:29:47,770
Well, what about your parents?
453
00:29:47,839 --> 00:29:50,740
At the Davenports.
It's their bridge night.
454
00:29:51,464 --> 00:29:53,864
So, we're alone until at least 11.
455
00:29:58,082 --> 00:30:01,745
Why are you doing this?
Doing what?
456
00:30:01,819 --> 00:30:04,583
Well, I mean...
I mean, you know me...
457
00:30:05,857 --> 00:30:07,791
Well, I mean,
458
00:30:07,859 --> 00:30:10,487
do you even really like me?
459
00:30:10,561 --> 00:30:14,463
Not that you wouldn't like me
if you got to know me better.
460
00:30:14,532 --> 00:30:17,296
Does it matter?
461
00:30:17,368 --> 00:30:19,928
It does to me.
462
00:30:21,272 --> 00:30:23,968
Why don't you just go over there
and take your clothes off,
463
00:30:24,042 --> 00:30:26,510
and I'll put another tape in.
464
00:30:40,191 --> 00:30:42,489
It's okay.
465
00:30:47,932 --> 00:30:49,923
Take 'em off.
466
00:31:06,117 --> 00:31:08,085
Um...
467
00:31:08,152 --> 00:31:10,643
I, uh...
468
00:31:10,722 --> 00:31:12,781
I don't know what to do.
469
00:31:14,525 --> 00:31:16,516
Kevin,
470
00:31:16,594 --> 00:31:18,585
are you a virgin?
471
00:31:18,663 --> 00:31:22,599
Uh, virgin?
472
00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:24,601
Yeah.
473
00:31:24,669 --> 00:31:26,603
I'd really like to know.
474
00:31:30,742 --> 00:31:34,041
- Yes.
Micro Man's a virgin!
475
00:31:34,112 --> 00:31:37,240
"I don't know what to do. "
476
00:31:37,315 --> 00:31:40,307
He said he didn't know what to do.
477
00:31:40,385 --> 00:31:42,319
"I'm a virgin. "
478
00:31:42,387 --> 00:31:44,855
- Kevin!
- Oh, Virgin Man.
Where you goin', Virgin Man?
479
00:31:44,922 --> 00:31:47,117
Hey, Virgin Man!
Where you goin', buddy?
480
00:31:47,191 --> 00:31:50,058
- What's the matter?
Did you get embarrassed?
- Kevin!
481
00:31:50,128 --> 00:31:54,360
Kevin, come back!
Hey, micro-stud,
come on back. I'll tell you what to do!
482
00:31:54,432 --> 00:31:59,961
Virgin Man, where you goin'?
Where's your sense ofhumor, buddy?
He lost it.
483
00:32:00,038 --> 00:32:03,030
Yo, wimp.
Guy's a major wimp.
484
00:32:03,107 --> 00:32:05,098
Man, it was good!
485
00:32:28,898 --> 00:32:30,628
I can't believe you made me do that!
486
00:32:30,701 --> 00:32:33,693
Hey, what's your problem, huh?
That was really cruel!
487
00:32:33,770 --> 00:32:36,796
- It was great!
- Didn't you see how freaked out he was?
488
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:40,331
Oh, do I detect
the pangs of remorse?
489
00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:42,207
You said he'd think it was funny.
490
00:32:42,279 --> 00:32:44,270
So he doesn't have
a sense of humor.
491
00:32:44,348 --> 00:32:46,475
He will after we tell
the whole school.
492
00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:49,383
- No!
- Hey, I think she likes him.
493
00:32:49,453 --> 00:32:52,513
Well, he's got a lot more
going for him than you losers.
494
00:32:52,589 --> 00:32:55,319
Hey, get your nose
out of the clouds and get real.
495
00:32:55,392 --> 00:32:58,555
- You're just as guilty as the rest of us.
- Guilty of what?
496
00:33:02,232 --> 00:33:06,100
- Guilty of what?
- It was supposed to be a joke, Mrs. Bruckner.
497
00:33:06,169 --> 00:33:09,332
- Where's Kevin?
- I don't know. He rode off on his bike.
498
00:33:09,406 --> 00:33:11,067
He sure did.
Kevin's not here?
499
00:33:11,141 --> 00:33:13,507
- Rode off on his bike.
- Yes, ma'am.
500
00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:16,546
- Where would he go?
- He probably went straight home.
501
00:33:18,715 --> 00:33:21,775
When Kevin disappeared,
his bike was found abandoned
on Bell Road.
502
00:33:21,852 --> 00:33:24,047
- Where's Bell Road?
- Two blocks to the right.
503
00:33:24,121 --> 00:33:26,055
Mrs. Bruckner, I'm sorry.
504
00:33:26,123 --> 00:33:27,715
Tell Kevin.
505
00:33:28,792 --> 00:33:34,196
Man, with a mother like that
I'd still be a virgin too.
506
00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:37,358
You are still a virgin, pimple-puss.
507
00:33:37,434 --> 00:33:39,925
And you're gonna be a virgin
for another six years.
508
00:33:40,003 --> 00:33:41,937
I tell ya.
509
00:34:01,925 --> 00:34:04,086
Ziggy's tryin'to get a lock on him.
510
00:34:04,161 --> 00:34:07,096
Think maybe he went back home?
511
00:34:07,164 --> 00:34:09,428
No, I don't think so.
512
00:34:09,499 --> 00:34:12,297
They obviously
embarrassed him pretty good.
513
00:34:13,437 --> 00:34:15,530
I figure they must have
talked Jackie in...
514
00:34:15,605 --> 00:34:18,233
- Uh-oh. Sam...
- I see it.
515
00:34:20,977 --> 00:34:24,435
Ah! Okay. Here!
He's got him.
516
00:34:24,514 --> 00:34:28,211
Uh, they're in a vehicle
three kilometers straight ahead of us.
517
00:34:28,285 --> 00:34:30,480
Maybe... Maybe he hitchhiked.
518
00:34:33,256 --> 00:34:36,020
No. No, he didn't.
519
00:34:36,093 --> 00:34:38,391
It's a van.
520
00:34:39,830 --> 00:34:41,923
Can't you make this thing
go any faster?
521
00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:45,490
I got it on the floor.
We shouldn't be
in a stupid station wagon.
522
00:34:45,569 --> 00:34:48,163
There it is.
523
00:34:48,238 --> 00:34:50,433
Al, you think maybe, uh...
524
00:34:51,441 --> 00:34:55,207
You think maybe you could
center in on Kevin just to...
What?
525
00:34:55,278 --> 00:34:57,473
Just... Just to be with him.
526
00:34:57,547 --> 00:35:00,482
But I can't do anything.
He won't even know I'm there.
527
00:35:01,918 --> 00:35:03,886
I'll know.
528
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,551
Hang in there, kid.
529
00:35:12,629 --> 00:35:14,995
Just hang in there.
530
00:35:25,408 --> 00:35:28,866
You lay one hand on this kid,
you slime bag,
531
00:35:28,945 --> 00:35:31,072
and I'll kill you.
532
00:35:32,082 --> 00:35:35,677
I don't know how,
but I'll kill ya.
533
00:36:36,112 --> 00:36:40,742
See, what'd I tell you, kid?
It's just likeJohn Wayne
comin' with the cavalry!
534
00:36:59,436 --> 00:37:01,597
Is Kevin all right?
Yeah, he will be,
535
00:37:01,671 --> 00:37:04,003
as soon as
you take care of these sickos.
536
00:37:05,542 --> 00:37:07,510
"These"?
What, there are two of'em?
537
00:37:08,678 --> 00:37:11,476
Yeah, there's two of'em.
538
00:37:24,628 --> 00:37:26,653
I know...
539
00:37:26,730 --> 00:37:29,460
- I know this?
- Oh, yeah.
540
00:37:29,532 --> 00:37:32,194
You know judo, you know karate,
you know, uh, uh, mui thai,
541
00:37:32,269 --> 00:37:34,328
you know tae kwon do... Uh-oh.
542
00:37:37,540 --> 00:37:40,134
Watch out for the knife, Sam.
It could be sharp.
543
00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:47,248
All right!
544
00:37:48,885 --> 00:37:51,319
Good moves.
You're better than Bruce Lee.
Bruce Lee?
545
00:37:51,388 --> 00:37:54,289
Never mind.
We gotta get Kevin outta here
before these sickos wake up.
546
00:37:55,258 --> 00:37:57,249
Mom?
547
00:38:00,864 --> 00:38:03,992
Mom! Mom!
I thought I'd never see you again!
548
00:38:04,067 --> 00:38:06,729
I know.
You know, I wasn't
runnin' away, Mom. Honest.
549
00:38:06,803 --> 00:38:08,771
I know that too.
550
00:38:14,711 --> 00:38:16,702
Let's go.
Good idea.
551
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:22,908
Mom, how?
552
00:38:24,621 --> 00:38:26,748
Girl Scouts.
Come on.
553
00:38:26,823 --> 00:38:28,814
Girl Scouts?
554
00:38:29,993 --> 00:38:31,984
Awesome.
555
00:38:45,342 --> 00:38:47,333
I gotta go.
556
00:38:52,849 --> 00:38:55,716
I know I treat you
like a turkey sometimes,
557
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:00,048
but... I'm real glad...
558
00:39:04,594 --> 00:39:06,585
You know.
559
00:39:09,666 --> 00:39:11,725
Bye.
Bye, Mom.
560
00:39:21,277 --> 00:39:24,769
I... I don't know exactly
what happened at Jackie's
last night, but, um...
561
00:39:26,850 --> 00:39:28,977
Well, I got a pretty good idea.
562
00:39:29,052 --> 00:39:31,043
Oh, boy.
563
00:39:32,222 --> 00:39:34,281
I know it had
something to do with sex.
564
00:39:34,357 --> 00:39:37,224
Mom.
It's not a dirty word, Kevin.
565
00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:44,957
The guys... found out I'm a virgin.
566
00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:47,798
Aha.
567
00:39:47,871 --> 00:39:50,339
They're gonna blab it
all over school.
568
00:39:51,608 --> 00:39:55,339
That's a tough one.
You bet it is.
I'm nearly 16.
569
00:39:56,780 --> 00:39:58,771
I was a virgin when I was sixteen.
570
00:39:58,848 --> 00:40:02,249
You're a girl.
You're supposed to be.
571
00:40:05,422 --> 00:40:07,549
Kevin,
572
00:40:07,624 --> 00:40:09,558
you know, it doesn't matter...
573
00:40:09,626 --> 00:40:12,823
if you're male or female
when it comes to losing your virginity.
574
00:40:14,564 --> 00:40:17,795
And... And there's no special age
when it has to happen,
575
00:40:17,867 --> 00:40:20,427
but there should be a special reason.
576
00:40:23,173 --> 00:40:25,767
When...
577
00:40:25,842 --> 00:40:28,072
When you love someone
so much that...
578
00:40:29,078 --> 00:40:32,138
making love with them
is the most natural way of expressing it.
579
00:40:36,119 --> 00:40:38,246
I never thought about it that way.
580
00:40:38,321 --> 00:40:40,482
Yeah, well,
581
00:40:40,557 --> 00:40:43,583
before that time comes, um,
582
00:40:43,660 --> 00:40:46,720
there are some other things
we should talk about, okay?
583
00:40:46,796 --> 00:40:50,061
Okay? I mean, you're 15,
584
00:40:50,133 --> 00:40:53,625
and... you should just
give yourself a little time.
585
00:40:55,872 --> 00:40:57,806
Okay.
586
00:40:57,874 --> 00:41:00,069
Okay.
I gotta go.
587
00:41:00,143 --> 00:41:02,373
Yeah. Oh, here, leave that.
I'll get it.
588
00:41:14,858 --> 00:41:16,792
Thanks, Mom.
589
00:41:18,161 --> 00:41:20,152
Okay.
See ya.
590
00:41:20,230 --> 00:41:22,221
Yeah. Yeah.
Have a good day.
591
00:41:27,704 --> 00:41:30,366
That was nicely done, Sam.
You think so?
592
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,431
Yeah.
Why haven't I leaped?
593
00:41:32,509 --> 00:41:36,445
Uh, because I'm having
such a great time with Teresa.
594
00:41:37,580 --> 00:41:41,380
Uh, you'll probably leap
as soon as Kevin confronts his friends.
595
00:41:41,451 --> 00:41:44,284
Your laundry's done.
596
00:42:02,038 --> 00:42:04,836
Halfling's life is about to end.
597
00:42:04,908 --> 00:42:07,468
Death by virginity.
598
00:42:13,149 --> 00:42:15,140
Kevin.
599
00:42:17,687 --> 00:42:20,884
I'm sorry.
Last night was stupid and mean,
600
00:42:20,957 --> 00:42:23,551
and I wouldn't blame you
if you never wanted
to talk to me again.
601
00:42:24,961 --> 00:42:28,624
But I'd really, really like it
if you'd want to
be my date for Mardi Gras.
602
00:42:35,138 --> 00:42:37,436
Only if you don't wear heels.
603
00:42:37,507 --> 00:42:39,668
Come on.
604
00:42:39,742 --> 00:42:43,337
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Virgin Man.
605
00:42:45,982 --> 00:42:48,348
You've gotta be kidding.
606
00:42:48,418 --> 00:42:51,012
Ooh!
607
00:42:51,087 --> 00:42:55,023
Ooh!
608
00:42:55,091 --> 00:42:58,322
Busted by a jester.
How degrading.
609
00:42:58,394 --> 00:43:01,192
You know, this means
we're gonna have to
make him a wizard.
610
00:43:01,264 --> 00:43:03,459
We can't give him ultimate power.
611
00:43:03,533 --> 00:43:05,831
I don't think you guys,
uh, have a choice.
612
00:43:05,902 --> 00:43:09,463
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
613
00:43:09,539 --> 00:43:12,599
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
614
00:43:14,944 --> 00:43:16,935
Okay, now,
what do we call this one?
615
00:43:17,013 --> 00:43:19,379
She's a little young, Al.
616
00:43:19,449 --> 00:43:22,009
Um, Tyrannosaurus rex.
617
00:43:29,692 --> 00:43:31,660
And this one?
618
00:43:31,728 --> 00:43:34,162
Um,
619
00:43:34,230 --> 00:43:36,323
stegosaurus.
620
00:43:36,399 --> 00:43:38,629
Right.
621
00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:42,137
How about this one?
622
00:43:43,573 --> 00:43:47,202
Um, diplodocus.
Yeah.
623
00:43:47,276 --> 00:43:49,039
Right.
624
00:43:53,483 --> 00:43:56,077
Al.
625
00:44:01,991 --> 00:44:03,982
Teresa,
626
00:44:05,795 --> 00:44:08,525
your mommy's coming back.
627
00:44:08,598 --> 00:44:11,226
Mommy?
Yeah.
628
00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:13,393
Can you stay?
629
00:44:13,469 --> 00:44:16,063
No.
630
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,533
But I don't want you to go.
631
00:44:21,277 --> 00:44:23,245
Well, I don't want to go.
632
00:44:23,312 --> 00:44:25,837
But I'm gonna come back.
I don't know when,
633
00:44:25,915 --> 00:44:27,906
but I'll come back.
634
00:44:27,984 --> 00:44:29,781
Promise?
635
00:44:29,852 --> 00:44:31,843
I promise.
636
00:44:51,074 --> 00:44:53,065
Play now. Play now.
637
00:44:54,877 --> 00:44:58,472
- Come on. Come on.
- Go Jaguars!
638
00:45:05,388 --> 00:45:07,322
Oh, boy.