Leaping back as a deejay in 1959,
- I got to rock out with an up-and-coming singer named Chubby Checker.
But not everybody wanted to "twist the night away."
So I was here to fight for freedom of expression...
no matter what form it took.
- And just when I was getting into the groove of things,
the Big Bopper decided I should change my tune.
And today, Karen Basch is a bat mitzvah.
Rabbi. Nu?
Oy vey, I'm the rabbi.
Rabbi. Hi.
Hi. How you doin'?
Oh, Rabbi, I don't think you know my husband, Harold. Uh.
Say hello, Harold. Of course I know your husband, Harold.
Have a good time. Okay. Thank you.
The Basch family would like to welcome you all on this joyous occasion...
and ask that you join them in the traditional breaking of the bread.
So, Rabbi Basch, would you join your brother on the stage...
and lead us all in the blessing over the bread?
Sam, say that.
Omeyn. Omeyn.
Take a hunk out of the bread. Uh-huh.
Little bite.
That was good.
How'd you know that? Hmm?
- Oh, my fourth wife, Ru... Oh, no, sorry. - My third wife, Ruthie, was Jewish.
She taught me the basics. Course, the more complicated stuff,
the weddings and the circumcision, uh, you're on your own with that.
Circumcisions? Mm, yeah.
Look at Rabbi Basch. What is he doing?
What's with the rabbi?
Uh, I don't know.
Who cares? Are you gonna eat the knish?
Put that down. Leave me alone.
David, it's time for you to lead the hora.
Oh, the hora. Sam, I love the hora.
I saw Fiddler On the Roof five times.
I hope you never leap in as a Rockette.
Now, follow me. Do what I do, okay?
Joe. Hey, great party.
Thanks for inviting me. It's my pleasure.
Gee, I haven't seen you much down at the beach this past year.
Yeah. Yeah, I buy a second house, I never get a chance to use it.
Well, you can always use it as a tax write-off.
Hi, Irene.
Hi, Bert. Thanks.
Rabbi, it was a fascinating sermon this morning.
I'd love to be able to quote you in the new book I'm writing.
Sure. Uh, why not? Huh!
Joe, have you seen Karen? There she is.
Ohh. Oh! She's with Michael Kornbloom.
Good. I think she likes him.
Joe, would you like to dance with me?
No. Not now, Irene.
Irene?
Sure.
You should've danced with her.
Is that advice from my brother or my rabbi?
Because I don't need it from either.
Oh!
I'm sorry.
I told ya I haven't danced for years. No, it-it's okay, Bert, really. You're fine.
Yeah? Yeah.
He's been a widower for two years.
A man shouldn't grieve for that length of time.
Especially one his age. He's been tryin' to get over it.
How do you know? Uh, w-well, you can tell just by, uh,
lookin' at him.
Such a waste, especially for a man...
who's so good... hearted.
Uh, uh, please, Rabbi, sit.
Oh, well, I've gotta go. Me too.
I'll talk to you later, Shirl.
Rabbi, lovely service. Oh, thank you.
Rabbi, I have to talk to you.
Now? Eh, tomorrow.
I don't wanna disturb your dinner.
Say, noonish?
Fine. Noon-Noonish.
Oh, Sam, look at this food.
God, I wish a hologram could eat.
Look at that. Creamed herring, lox, bagels, knishes.
Over here's gefilte fish. Ruthie made the best gefilte fish. You should try some of that.
Yeah, I-I'll just... Put a little horseradish on it. It's fantastic.
Okay. I'll just stick to the roast chicken. You don't know what you're missing, Sam.
Al, what I'm missing is why I'm here. I mean, I came here for more than lunch, didn't I?
Yeah. Sure. You came here for her.
"Her" who? "Her" her.
Irene? Hmm. She's about to destroy her life.
According to Ziggy,
in the year...
5734?
What?
Oh, it's Jewish years. Ha-ha!
Yeah. Okay. Uh, in 36 hours she's gonna ruin her life...
by... having a one-night stand?
Yeah.
Her husband finds out and it destroys their marriage, and her daughter never gets over it.
I can't believe that. Neither can I.
What's wrong with a good old-fashioned one-night stand?
Unless you're married.
I'm saying it's hard for me to believe that Irene would be unfaithful.
Why? If she was...
And then he was... And then if they both, you know, were...
Well, trust me. It can happen.
What ya got here? It's from Michael Kornbloom.
Tony Orlando & Dawn on an eight-track tape?
You're gonna get a lot of use out of this. What's this?
A puka-shell necklace.
Oh, I think this guy likes you.
- Daddy. - Hmm?
Did you see what Michael Kornbloom got me?
Michael Kornbloom. Bobby Kornbloom's little brother?
Geez, Bobby used to come over here all the time. You ever see him?
- I think he's away at Yale now. - That's right. He was going to Yale too.
Aw, damn. I forgot to fill up, and the tank is on empty. What time is it? Oh!
Well, if I don't fill up today, I'm gonna have to wait in line Monday morning.
The gas shortage. Yeah, it's a real pain in the butt, isn't it?
Karen, tell your mother that I've, uh, gone to the gas station.
- Can I come with you? - To the gas station? Why would you wanna do that?
David, come on.
I'll see ya later.
Put it on your credit card.
- We're eight, maybe nine back. - Ah, it's no big deal.
Just a good excuse to get out of the house.
Why would you want an excuse to get out of the house? Ah, you know.
So, what'd you think of the UCLA game? It was pretty wild, huh?
I, uh... I missed it.
You, David Basch, missed Bill Walton's first loss in three years?
Geez, when we were kids, we would've killed to see that.
You remember all those nights Dad'd pack us in the car...
and take us to the Pavilion?
And he'd buy us the hot dogs, the T-shirts, whatever we wanted...
just as long as the Bruins won.
Dad and his sons.
He was sure proud. Remember?
You know somethin'? I almost can.
That's what life's all about...
taking your son to a basketball game.
You ever take Karen?
To a basketball game? No. Well, she might like it.
Naw, it's not the same with a girl.
How about Irene?
Well, we used to go.
We don't go anymore.
We don't do anything anymore.
In fact,
for the first time in 22 years,
I've been thinking about having an affair.
I don't think he meant it. He just was upset.
Well, maybe they both should have one. Get it out of their system.
Have an affair? Be unfaithful?
Well, sometimes I think fidelity is highly overrated.
Uh, nobody looks at the downside. There's a downside to being faithful?
Of course. It discourages social interaction.
Look, Sam, if all the men in all the world could freely...
socialize with all the women in all the world, there would be no war.
Until their wives found out. Good point.
Hmm. Well, maybe your mission here...
isn't to keep, uh, Irene orJoe from having an affair.
It's just to see that neither of them finds out...
about the other one. Oh, that's ridiculous.
Fidelity is the basis of a good relationship.
Course, I couldn't expect you to understand that, could I?
My relationships have all been good.
It's my marriages that haven't worked out.
Hi.
I heard talking. I thought you were in here with Joe.
No, I just, um... was praying.
Always the rabbi.
Oh, I wish I had your faith.
So do I.
Well, I better set the table. Want me to help you?
No. No, no. You go out there. You relax.
This is my temple. Okay.
"Sushi"? No, "sushi."
Nice try, but that's not a word. What do you mean, it's not...
Okay.
"Hose." A big six points.
Are you letting me win? No way. It's just... I got lousy letters...
all vowels, no consonants.
Ohh.
Uncle David? Hmm?
Do you ever wanna get married?
Um,
uh, I have kind of an unusual lifestyle.
But someday, um, I want to, yeah.
Do you ever think about it?
Who she'll be? What she'll look like?
Do you?
All the time.
I'm gonna marry someone very cute,
someone who laughs a lot and has fun.
Someone...
who never yells.
Don't tell anyone, okay? No, no. I won't.
Wow. You play?
Karen, what's wrong?
That's Danny's guitar.
Dinner!
The meat's a little tough, isn't it, Joe? No, it's fine.
No. You can say. It's a little tough.
It's that, uh, new butcher on, um... Irene, the meat is fine.
I can go back to Glicksman's. Mother, he said it's fine!
Karen, don't use that tone of voice with me.
It was my fault. Um, I think I upset Karen...
when I wanted to play... Danny's guitar.
It's all right, Uncle David.
Well, maybe it's time someone played it. Irene.
It's been a year, Joe. I don't wanna talk about it.
- It's time we set the headstone. - Headstone?
Irene. David,
will you be conducting the ceremony, or should Joe and I prepare something to say?
I said, I don't want to discuss it. It's important.
Damn it! Just drop it!
They'd lost a son. This family was being torn apart...
because no one wanted to deal with Danny's death.
Would anyone mind if I spent the night?
They're, uh, fumigating over at my... place.
Of course not.
Is this, uh, where I'm sleeping?
It's the only extra bed.
Would you like a... soft pillow or a firm pillow?
Uh, f... Uh, f-firm, please.
Danny loved this room.
Of course, he said he couldn't wait to leave to go to Yale, but he loved it.
He brought a lot of friends up here, and...
when he was 16, he said he wanted to bring girls up in here.
I said, "No."
I mean, girls here?
"What's the matter, Mom? Don't you trust me?"
"You, I trust. It's the girls I'm worried about!"
And he laughed.
Do you remember his laugh, David?
He had a great laugh. Yeah.
I couldn't say no to Danny when he laughed. Not when he laughed.
He laughed when I told him thatJoe and I were nervous...
about he and Mark going backpacking alone in Europe.
I had to talkJoe into letting him go. I had to.
Danny loved you for that.
Do you think he loved me when the plane crashed?
Oh, David.
Do you think he was thinking of me when he was dying?
He loved you, Irene.
He loved you when you were with him.
You'll always be with him.
Oh, God.
I killed... I...
I killed him. I killed him. I ki...
No. No. I killed my Danny!
No, you didn't kill him. The accident killed him.
It's not your fault.
Joe thinks so. Joe is wrong.
Did you want a firm pillow, right?
Uh, yeah, f-firm. That'd be great.
I'll get it. It's, uh, I-in the closet.
My God, it's me.
I'm Irene's lover.
I don't believe this. I'm the one?
I'm Irene's lover? How could this happen?
Well, if she gives ya a little wink, and you put the glom on her... Al, I'm being serious.
What am I gonna do now? Nothing.
- Nothing? - Nothing.
You're Irene's future lover, right?
Right. Well, don't do it,
and promise... that you won't have an affair with Irene.
I promise. Okay. No problem.
Let's leap.
I'm not going anywhere. Try clicking your heels together three times and saying, "There's no place like home."
Figured this was too easy. Is Irene falling in love with me?
I don't know. I think she's falling in need with you.
I think she needs for you to... to help her get back to the man she really loves.
Joe. Yeah. And to keep the family together.
You know, I think that's what it's about. It's about family.
I... I never realized...
how much family meant to me until after Ruthie was gone.
I know what you mean, Al.
You know, sometimes I wish I could go home, but I... can't.
Then all I have is what I can remember, which... is not a whole hell of a lot.
What you've got is here now... right here, right now.
This is your family. This is your home for now.
So don't let it fall apart.
Make it work, Sam.
No, no. Karen, please. Put the knishes over there. Okay?
I don't even know why I'm here. You are here because I need your help.
Come on. I gotta carry all the weight that way.
Need a hand? Bert.
Give me a hand with that banner over there, will ya? It's kugel.
Aha. It looks great too.
Yeah, my-my wife, Delores, used to make it for me.
As a matter of fact, uh, I haven't had any of this since she died.
I'll make you one. Oh, you don't have to do that.
I'll buy this one. How much?
Well, it's for charity, so you can give whatever you want.
Well, you're... you're always doing something, aren't you?
I like to keep busy.
I know what you mean. After my wife died I...
I just plunged myself totally into writing. What's your book about?
Well, actually, it deals with something we both have in common... the loss of a loved one.
- Oh, I did see that. - Shmendrick's Pastry Shop?
You know, it-it just occurred to me that maybe if we talked you might be able to contribute something.
No, really, Bert. I'm very uncomfortable about that.
I understand. I mean, I thought it would be difficult, too, but, uh, I found it to be very therapeutic.
- This is gonna be a big sale. - It's gonna be that big?
Uh, that's a professional opinion coming from a nonprofessional.
Your mother looks like she's enjoying herself.
What's the matter? It's starting to shake a little bit. Please!
At least one of us is.
Karen, she could use some support.
You remember my sister? I thought that's what husbands were for.
Karen, come on.
Oh, help! Somebody, please, help!
Help, someone!
Oh, my gosh!
You all right? Oh, thank you, Rabbi, thank you.
Are you all right, Dr. Heimlich?
Uh, Rabbi, it's 12:00.
Our appointment, remember?
Uh... Uh, yeah. Right.
Um, is there somewhere we could go that's a little more private?
Now, what did you want to, uh, see me about?
Rabbi, it was all my fault.
Your fault?
It was right after my father died, and Howard,
he just didn't understand.
Howard, your husband?
Hmm. I've been married to him for 17 years.
Now I can't look at him. I can't talk to him.
Ohh, Rabbi.
He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking,
what I was feeling. Howard?
No, Bert. Bert?
Rabbi, I had an affair with Bert Glasserman.
Uh...
Here, here, here.
Thank you.
He-He said he was doing research for his book,
and it just got out of hand.
Rabbi, what should I do?
I think we should set up another appointment.
Huh?
Here, let me help you with that. Oh, thank you.
Looks like the bake sale was a big success. Oh, we made twice as much as last year.
That's great.
David, I wanna thank you for last night.
Last night? For listening.
Oh, well, that's, um... that's what a rabbi is for.
Oh, you're not just my rabbi.
Look, Irene... No, David, you're my brother-in-law and my friend,
and if it wasn't for you I don't know whereJoe and I would be right now.
It's been hard.
I know.
Sometimes it just feels hopeless.
You know what I think? I think you and Joe need some time together.
You should go away, just the two of you.
We haven't been to the beach house for over a year. I loved that place.
We were such a family there. Why don't you go this weekend?
Oh, I can't. What about Karen?
- I'll take care of her. - I'm sorry.
Thank you... again.
Okay, is that it? Mm-hmm.
What's all this? Well, you and I are going to the beach house,
and David is staying with Karen. It's a surprise.
Irene, you should've discussed this with me. I can't go away this weekend.
- Why not? - 'Cause I have too much to do. I... I brought work home.
- Well, bring it along. I don't mind. - Well, I do.
Joe, please.
Irene, don't you get it?
I don't want to go out there.
But you've always loved the beach.
Irene, if you wanna go, go! But I am staying home.
Irene doesn't want to go to the beach alone. She wants to be with you.
If she wants to be with me, she can stay home.
Joe, she doesn't wanna be alone. She-She wants to be with you in a different atmosphere.
Will you just listen, Joe? David understands.
David understands?
Well, if he's so smart, why didn't you marry him?
Maybe I should have.
Joe, listen...
I wish Mom had married you too, Uncle David.
Don't say that, Karen.
She, um...
Your father loves you and your mother very much.
No, he doesn't.
He loves Danny.
I hate him for dying!
I wish it was me. Don't say that.
Why doesn't Daddy love me?
He does. Karen, he just...
Ah, right now...
your Dad needs you to love him just as much as you need him to love you.
Really.
I love you, Uncle David.
You know, it's... it's gettin' late.
You don't want Michael Kornbloom to see you with bags under your eyes, huh?
Good night. You better get some sleep. Good night.
I love you.
How's it goin', Sam?
Ohh, not so good.
Yeah, well, it's gonna get worse.
Bert Glasserman? Exactly.
The guy's a real slime-ball.
In the first place, he's not a widower.
His wife is still alive? He was never even married.
He just uses that to get women for his research.
For the book. Yeah. I read the stupid thing.
It was a best seller in '75 called Women In Pain.
Ah! Irene is chapter six.
Whatever you do, don't let her get near that yutz.
Daddy?
It's late. Go to bed.
Oh, Karen. Do you know where your Uncle David went?
He asked for directions to the beach house.
Sometimes I actually expect to see Danny come running through that door,
covered in sand, looking for something to eat.
But he never will again.
Never again.
I know how you feel, Irene. I...
I felt the same way after my Delores died...
a void,
an emptiness in my life that...
that I thought could never be filled.
In fact, for a long time, I...
I blamed myself for her death.
I blame myself too.
It takes a long time to heal, Irene,
if one ever does.
No. No, don't.
You've been through so much.
You need someone who... who understands.
Someone who... can feel your pain.
This is wrong.
It's... It's all right to feel good, Irene...
to smile, to laugh,
to love,
and to be loved.
I have never done this before.
I know, I know. Neither have I.
David. Could I come in?
Bert saw my lights on,
and, um, he came over.
- We've been talking. - About your dead wife?
Well, it-it came up.
We've both had tragic losses. Only hers was real.
What do you mean?
Bert never lost a wife, because he's never been married.
It's all a lie. What?
It's-It's not what you think, Irene. I...
I try to identify with the women that I interview... to feel what they feel...
so that I can write from the heart. There have been others?
Well, it-it's not criminal to try and understand female emotions.
- Emotional rape is a crime. - This isn't rape. It-It's research.
- Well, I will not be researched! - Irene, I...
Uh! Irene, Irene. That's enough.
Now, look, Rabbi...
Oh, David,
I'm so ashamed.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. I just wanted someone to talk to, and...
Oh, God, I feel like such a fool. Shh, shh, shh. It's all right.
My brother and my wife. I should have known.
- Joe, look... - I don't wanna hear it!
Joe. Joe, look, I'm not gonna let you walk away from this.
Were you eyeing her at my dinner table? Did it happen in my home?
You don't know what you're talking about. Little Davey, always the smart one.
Always the best. You always got what you want.
Well, not my wife, David. Not my wife!
Sam, he hit you!
That's great! That means he still loves her.
Let him hit ya again. Look, Joe...
I got ya, Sam.
Uhh! I don't got ya, Sam.
- Come on. Get up! Fight me! - Stop fighting!
Get up. Come on. Get up. Fight me! Come on, come on. Fight me!
No. Uhh! Joe, just stop! You're hurting him!
- Irene, I'll never forgive you for this! - For this or for Danny?
I mean, that's what this is really all about isn't it, Joe?
You know Irene and I are not having an affair.
You've never forgiven her for letting Danny go to Europe. You think she wanted him to die on that plane?
You're punishing her for something she could have never prevented.
Then why does she keep vacuuming his bedroom?
Cooking his favorite foods? My son is gone!
And I don't understand why she keeps vacuuming his damn bedroom!
When I sit in his room,
he's there.
He's at college or on vacation, but he's there.
I feel him.
I keep driving...
past the park...
where he played little league,
and I see him sometimes out in left field...
waving.
He's waving to me.
I loved him, Irene. Oh, and he's gone.
Oh! I know.
I know. I loved him too.
He was so good. He was so smart.
He was so... He was so alive.
Oh, God, I miss him so!
I do too, Joe. I do too. I miss him.
Can you still love me?
Can you? I will always love you.
Good, Sam. You can really take a punch.
Mazel tov. Uh, Bert Glasserman's book never made it to the best-seller list.
Irene told someone named Bonnie Teller about Bert's techniques,
and the-the word spread like wildfire.
Six libel suits later, the publisher yanked the book before it ever hit the stands.
And Bert, he's got a life sentence with a shrink.
What about Irene and Joe? Uhh...
Oh, well, they wrote a book themselves,
and it helped parents all over the country deal with the loss of a child.
So I'd say it was a job well done, my boy. Leap in good health.
Go ahead. Bon voyage. Auf Wiedersehen.
Shalom. I don't think so.
- Omeyn. - Omeyn.
Omeyn.
Joe.
You should go to her.
I just... I don't know if I can. She needs you.
You lost a son, Joe. Don't lose a daughter too.
Sweetheart.
Oh, Daddy, I love you.
I love you too. I love you too.
Oh, baby.
I love you so.
Now, Sam?
Now.
I got you. You're dead.
Jimbo! What're you doin'?
Cory, get out of here. Jimmy's supposed to be gettin' ready for work. Look at you. You're not even dressed yet.
Don't wanna be late for this interview, 'cause I had to pull some strings to get it. So come on, come on. Move it or lose it.
Oh, Jimmy.
If Mr. Samuels asks, you're not retarded.
You're just slow.
Okay?
Hurry up.
I'm retarded?