1
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:11,058
The first rule of quantum leaping
is to find out who I am.
2
00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,634
Then, who I'm here to help.
3
00:00:16,705 --> 00:00:20,197
Charlie-san!
4
00:00:20,276 --> 00:00:24,372
Third, if I've made a mistake,
know how to make up for it.
5
00:00:24,447 --> 00:00:28,713
And always, always
know when to leave.
Sayonara, Sam.
6
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:40,691
Which brings me back to
the first rule of quantum leaping
7
00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:43,926
finding out who I am.
8
00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,196
Sam?
9
00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:50,932
My name!
10
00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:55,238
I'm gonna be called
by my own name.
Who is it?
11
00:00:55,311 --> 00:00:58,303
It's Gloria, you yo-yo,
who else would it be?
12
00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,940
I have to run to the store.
I ran my last pair of stockings.
13
00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:04,611
You need anything?
Uh, no, no. I'm fine.
14
00:01:04,687 --> 00:01:07,554
Will you zip me up?
15
00:01:07,623 --> 00:01:11,923
You'd better hurry up.
You'll be late
for your new job.
16
00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:15,987
Uh, yeah, right.
My new...
My new job.
17
00:01:16,065 --> 00:01:18,363
Like it's no big deal.
An executive position
like this...
18
00:01:18,434 --> 00:01:22,063
opens up once every five years
and never to someone our age,
19
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:26,665
Miss Youngest
Executive Secretary
at the company.
20
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:29,677
Miss?
21
00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:47,688
Wow!
22
00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,229
Oh, my God.
23
00:01:54,303 --> 00:01:56,737
It's true!
24
00:01:58,807 --> 00:02:01,241
No, you...
You could lower that.
25
00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:05,178
I'm a woman!
And I'm in love.
26
00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:08,808
If it was anybody else, Sam,
I'd be all over you
like a cheap suit.
27
00:02:08,884 --> 00:02:11,079
Stop it.
What?
28
00:02:11,153 --> 00:02:14,884
I'm just...
I'm enjoying the view.
29
00:02:14,957 --> 00:02:17,619
Let's face it.
You're a knockout.
30
00:02:18,928 --> 00:02:24,127
You mean...
you see me a-as her?
31
00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:27,657
Course I see you as her.
And back in the waiting room,
I see her as you.
32
00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:32,298
- That's the way it works,
don't you remember?
- No, not really.
33
00:02:32,374 --> 00:02:35,434
Al, this-this...
This feels really weird.
34
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:40,107
Think about how Samantha feels.
She's so confused,
we're using Verbena Beeks.
35
00:02:40,182 --> 00:02:44,585
Antidepressants?
Dr. Verbena Beeks.
36
00:02:44,653 --> 00:02:48,919
She's the project shrink.
I used to think she was cute.
37
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:52,324
Would you stop looking
at me like that!
Sam, you better get used to it.
38
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:54,988
You're gonna have to convince
everybody you're a woman.
No!
39
00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:58,522
Yes!
Yes, that's the rule, Sam.
40
00:02:58,601 --> 00:03:01,593
Everybody has to believe
you are Samantha...
41
00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:04,434
so that whatever's
wrong here can be made right.
42
00:03:04,506 --> 00:03:06,997
Well, just what is that,
please?
I don't know.
43
00:03:07,076 --> 00:03:10,705
Gooshie and I
haven't had time to feed
any programs through Ziggy.
44
00:03:10,779 --> 00:03:13,339
Well, would you do it,
please? Get on it.
45
00:03:13,415 --> 00:03:16,816
Whatever you say,
beautiful.
46
00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:19,615
Get out of here.
Just get out of my bathroom.
47
00:03:19,688 --> 00:03:23,283
You have a wonderful
sense of humor.
48
00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:46,100
Detroit, Michigan, 1961.
49
00:04:46,175 --> 00:04:49,440
Roger Maris is about
to break Babe Ruth's
home run record.
50
00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:52,174
But am I wearing cleats,
sliding into second? No.
51
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:56,014
I'm wearing three-inch
high heels and trying
desperately not to fall on my...
52
00:04:56,085 --> 00:04:58,178
face.
53
00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,313
I told you you should have
worn a girdle.
54
00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:02,221
I'm not
into bondage.
55
00:05:02,292 --> 00:05:05,261
Do you remember how
Debbie Moore used to say that
before she had her baby?
56
00:05:05,328 --> 00:05:07,762
Now she wouldn't
be caught dead without one.
57
00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:10,560
I still can't believe
she went back to work.
58
00:05:10,633 --> 00:05:12,999
What's wrong
with that?
59
00:05:13,069 --> 00:05:16,129
Excuse me, but aren't you
the same girl that said,
60
00:05:16,205 --> 00:05:19,174
"The day I get that gold band
is the day I quit work,
61
00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:21,710
start shopping
and eat anything chocolate."
62
00:05:21,778 --> 00:05:23,712
Great. I'm a gold digger.
63
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:26,442
I'd never say that
about my best friend.
64
00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:29,212
Let's just say you're
mentally prepared...
65
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:32,220
for a life different
than the one you're in.
66
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:35,485
That's our bus!
Hey, wait!
67
00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:42,823
Hold it.
68
00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:46,357
Ah, ooh, ah.
69
00:05:46,436 --> 00:05:49,872
No stockings?
You're such a bohemian.
70
00:06:03,152 --> 00:06:05,677
Two hours as Samantha,
and I knew that the lyrics...
71
00:06:05,755 --> 00:06:09,156
to "I Enjoy Being a Girl"
were not written by one.
72
00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:11,318
Whew!
I only hope my job...
73
00:06:11,394 --> 00:06:15,592
doesn't require anything more
than sharpening pencils
or mailing a letter.
74
00:06:15,665 --> 00:06:17,895
At least until Ziggy
figures out why I'm here.
75
00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:27,372
What's wrong?
76
00:06:27,443 --> 00:06:29,707
Buddy got his promotion.
77
00:06:29,779 --> 00:06:33,545
- Buddy?
- My fiancé...
78
00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:36,176
If you can call a guy
who's married your fiancé.
79
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:38,277
I don't think so.
80
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,447
I can't believe he did this.
81
00:06:40,523 --> 00:06:44,459
This is what
we've been waiting for,
so he could leave Gail.
82
00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:47,360
He didn't even ask for me
to be his secretary.
83
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,921
I'm sorry.
84
00:06:49,999 --> 00:06:52,092
You were right, Sam.
85
00:06:52,168 --> 00:06:55,899
Married men are just
a one-way ticket to Nowheresville.
86
00:06:55,972 --> 00:06:57,940
I don't know why
I keep believing.
87
00:06:58,007 --> 00:07:00,532
Sometimes I think
I should just
give it all up.
88
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:04,011
Gloria.
89
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,980
I'll be fine.
90
00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:09,712
I'm always fine.
91
00:07:35,678 --> 00:07:38,044
From my heart.
92
00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:41,776
I hope
everything's there.
93
00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:44,445
Uh, yeah.
Well, I... I hope so too.
94
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,786
If there is any problem,
I'm the man to talk to.
95
00:07:48,858 --> 00:07:53,761
I did the move myself,
beautiful.
96
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:57,391
Beautiful?
Oh, okay.
Miss Stormer.
97
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:00,402
But, um, if you like,
98
00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:03,303
I could call you Samantha,
and, uh,
99
00:08:03,372 --> 00:08:06,205
you could
call me Big John.
100
00:08:08,778 --> 00:08:11,838
I'm gonna call you "dead"
if you don't
get outta my face.
101
00:08:11,914 --> 00:08:14,508
Aw. I was just trying
to be friendly.
102
00:08:14,584 --> 00:08:17,451
Be friendly on your
own time, Johnny,
103
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,818
or you'll be
delivering mail
for Studebaker.
104
00:08:19,889 --> 00:08:22,756
On the double,
Mr. Wright.
Miss Stormer, in my office.
105
00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:26,761
And bring a pad
and pencil.
106
00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:30,697
Great guy.
107
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:06,434
I didn't realize
until I watched you walk
through that door,
108
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:10,165
how incredibly beautiful
you really are.
109
00:09:10,239 --> 00:09:13,208
Whatever I did,
I'm sorry.
110
00:09:13,276 --> 00:09:17,269
I'm sorry, too,
that... I didn't become
a vice president sooner.
111
00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:22,306
But we'll make up
for that... starting tonight?
112
00:09:22,385 --> 00:09:25,912
Drinks...
to celebrate our...
113
00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:27,922
Our new positions.
114
00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:31,153
My natural instinct
was to punch him out.
115
00:09:31,227 --> 00:09:34,458
But as Al said, I had
to play this as Samantha.
116
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:39,464
I don't think so,
Mr. Wright.
117
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:43,062
- Buddy. Buddy.
- Buddy.
118
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,903
What do you mean
you don't think so?
119
00:09:45,975 --> 00:09:48,500
Well, you're ma-married.
120
00:09:48,578 --> 00:09:51,172
So?
121
00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,807
So, I-I...
I don't date
married men.
122
00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:56,875
I figured I was
just the fella
to change all of that.
123
00:09:56,953 --> 00:09:59,854
You figured wrong.
Samantha, I understand...
124
00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:03,653
playing hard to get
in the steno pool,
but you've got the job now.
125
00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:09,062
I overlooked some very
eligible gals to, uh,
126
00:10:09,131 --> 00:10:11,122
give it to you.
127
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,498
This is sexual harassment!
128
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:16,936
I don't know what that is,
but I like the sound of it.
129
00:10:17,006 --> 00:10:19,770
Why don't you just
explain that to me
tonight over drinks?
130
00:10:19,842 --> 00:10:23,744
Why don't you
let your wife
explain it to you?
131
00:10:25,815 --> 00:10:28,648
Samantha. Samantha.
132
00:10:28,718 --> 00:10:33,348
I would. Only my...
133
00:10:33,422 --> 00:10:37,518
Well, my wife...
won't be sober enough...
134
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,289
to even say hello
when I get home tonight.
135
00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:48,731
Get me Bixby's market research.
I need it for my 10:30.
136
00:10:48,804 --> 00:10:51,466
And put on
some makeup.
137
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:54,600
You're representing
Buddy Wright out there.
138
00:11:21,837 --> 00:11:26,240
How's the girl
of my dreams?
139
00:11:26,309 --> 00:11:29,278
You know, this is...
It's degrading.
140
00:11:29,345 --> 00:11:32,678
I mean, first he...
He chases me around his office,
141
00:11:32,748 --> 00:11:36,479
a-and then... and then
he says I gotta wear lipstick!
142
00:11:36,552 --> 00:11:42,184
It's a pity they didn't have
the wet look in '61...
143
00:11:42,258 --> 00:11:45,421
'cause you would look
fabulous with wet lips.
144
00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:47,621
I'm so happy
about that.
145
00:11:47,697 --> 00:11:49,790
This is... This is
hard on me, Sam.
Oh?
146
00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:53,801
It's hard on me. I can't
stop thinking about you.
147
00:11:53,869 --> 00:11:59,569
Time has packaged
my best friend
inside a goddess of love.
148
00:12:01,644 --> 00:12:05,273
It's got me worried, Sam.
I'm talking to Dr. Beeks.
149
00:12:05,348 --> 00:12:07,282
Sam?
150
00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:11,013
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
151
00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:13,351
Buddy called.
He explained everything.
152
00:12:13,422 --> 00:12:18,291
The reason why he didn't tell me
about the promotion was because
he wanted it to be a surprise.
153
00:12:18,361 --> 00:12:21,125
He wants to marry me!
He's already married.
154
00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:24,360
This is why you're here, Sam.
He's leaving Gail.
155
00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:28,199
He was waiting for the promotion,
so he could afford to fight
for custody of the children.
156
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,761
- I'm getting married!
- No, she's not.
157
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,207
Gloria,
"I'm leaving my wife"...
158
00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:36,642
It's the oldest lie
in the book.
159
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:41,513
Don't spoil this for me.
You're my best friend.
Just be happy for me, please.
160
00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:43,552
Gloria...
I gotta get back.
161
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:46,816
Culpepper'll be
screaming for me.
162
00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:49,153
Oh, I'm so happy!
163
00:12:51,861 --> 00:12:55,262
- What happens?
- Well, when she finds out...
164
00:12:55,331 --> 00:12:58,698
Mr. Wrong won't marry her...
165
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:03,069
She commits suicide.
166
00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:12,943
I have come to the conclusion
that women are part masochist.
167
00:13:13,014 --> 00:13:17,348
It's like someone designed
a modern-day torture rack
you can wear:
168
00:13:17,419 --> 00:13:21,856
from the bra,
to the stockings,
to the tight skirts,
169
00:13:21,923 --> 00:13:24,016
and the shoes from hell.
170
00:13:24,092 --> 00:13:27,493
They get up everyday
and perform this weird
binding ritual.
171
00:13:27,562 --> 00:13:30,258
And for what?
172
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:34,495
Wow!
You look terrific.
173
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:37,037
I'm supposed
to look conservative.
174
00:13:37,105 --> 00:13:42,407
You couldn't look
conservative if you tried.
175
00:13:42,477 --> 00:13:45,344
Thanks.
Come here.
176
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:51,643
Eat your heart out,
Marilyn.
177
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:55,781
If anybody but my best friend
were working for Buddy,
I'd be worried.
178
00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:59,156
Anyone else
and you'd have good reason.
179
00:13:59,227 --> 00:14:04,494
Please don't.
I told you last night.
I love him and he loves me.
180
00:14:04,566 --> 00:14:06,500
That's all that matters.
181
00:14:06,568 --> 00:14:09,093
What about his wife
and kids?
182
00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:12,037
She is a monster, Sam.
183
00:14:12,107 --> 00:14:15,008
She drinks
and she fights with him.
184
00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:18,204
She doesn't care about
herself or the children...
185
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,216
Not to mention
the affair she's having
with the tennis pro at the club.
186
00:14:22,284 --> 00:14:26,880
Buddy is so unhappy.
He said I'm his only hope.
187
00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:29,753
Do you know how special
that makes me feel?
188
00:14:29,824 --> 00:14:33,590
Gloria, you shouldn't need a man
to make you feel special.
189
00:14:33,662 --> 00:14:36,028
But I do.
Why?
190
00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:39,555
You are beautiful...
I'm not beautiful.
191
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:42,501
I'm cute, maybe,
but I'm not beautiful.
192
00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:47,234
But you are.
And not just on the outside,
193
00:14:47,309 --> 00:14:51,609
but in here,
where it counts.
194
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,410
Men don't want
what's in here.
195
00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:56,916
They want
what you've got.
196
00:14:56,985 --> 00:14:59,112
Except for Buddy.
197
00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:02,020
He was the one in a million
that loved me for myself.
198
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,923
I wish that were so,
Gloria, but...
199
00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:07,188
having just spent
a day with him, I-I...
200
00:15:07,262 --> 00:15:09,196
It makes me doubt it.
201
00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:11,391
Why should I believe you?
202
00:15:11,466 --> 00:15:15,163
Have you ever had a man
love you for anything
besides your body?
203
00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:22,700
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
204
00:15:22,777 --> 00:15:24,904
No, that's...
It's okay.
205
00:15:24,979 --> 00:15:28,642
Oh, Sam, I love him,
and he loves me.
206
00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:32,050
Don't ask me to give up
my one chance at happiness.
207
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:39,889
Iacocca's got Eisenhower hawking
for him at $ 1,000 a plate!
208
00:15:39,961 --> 00:15:42,361
Can you believe it?
The president
of the United States!
209
00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:44,864
He's a hell of a showman.
210
00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:47,424
Of course, he's gotta be...
211
00:15:47,502 --> 00:15:51,700
after that A-bomb
of an Edsel last year.
212
00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:55,231
I liked the Edsel.
It was a dog, Ted.
213
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,471
Nobody wanted a car
with a zero for a grille.
214
00:15:57,545 --> 00:16:00,139
Maybe not.
But I'm not so sure...
215
00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:03,707
the public wants what
we've got on the drawing boards.
What are you talking about?
216
00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:07,380
I had before me
a firsthand definition of sleaze.
217
00:16:07,455 --> 00:16:11,619
Buddy had perfect hair,
perfect teeth, perfect eyes
and perfect chin.
218
00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:14,253
But they weren't
the arrow that made
women like Gloria fall.
219
00:16:14,329 --> 00:16:18,629
It was the velvet tones all neatly
wrapped in wit and charm.
220
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,634
We can't base our designs
on California, Ted.
221
00:16:20,702 --> 00:16:24,638
They're avocado growers
and movie stars...
222
00:16:24,706 --> 00:16:27,106
with kinky tastes...
He was a master
of manipulation,
223
00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:29,109
for foreign sports cars.
And he knew it.
224
00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:32,146
Yes, but they spend
more time on the freeways
than they do in their homes.
225
00:16:32,213 --> 00:16:34,238
We're gonna get 'em
with our '62s.
226
00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:39,150
I'm looking
down the road five, 10 years.
What's the public going to want then?
227
00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:42,781
The same dream machines
that they want right now:
228
00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:47,624
fins, chrome, flash
and horsepower.
229
00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:49,856
Lots ofhorsepower.
230
00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:52,297
The bigger, the better.
231
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:55,928
And wait till we put
this baby on the market.
232
00:16:56,004 --> 00:17:00,304
Five-hundred cubic inches,
450 horsepower.
233
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:03,003
Three inches wider
and ten inches longer
than the biggest Caddy.
234
00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:06,478
What about fuel economy?
235
00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:09,745
Miss Stormer has a point.
What about it, Buddy?
236
00:17:09,818 --> 00:17:12,218
What does it get,
seven miles to the gallon?
237
00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:14,721
Maybe eight. But I
got that covered, Ted.
238
00:17:14,789 --> 00:17:20,193
I reduced the trunk
and I enlarged the gas tank.
This baby will hold 40 gallons.
239
00:17:20,261 --> 00:17:23,059
My God, what'll it cost
to fill up?
240
00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:26,430
At 30 cents a gallon, $12.
241
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:31,461
But we're not gonna try
to market this model
to... secretaries.
242
00:17:33,041 --> 00:17:36,306
Could I have a cup of coffee,
please? Ted, coffee?
243
00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:38,641
Yes, black.
244
00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:45,216
I like mine like my women,
245
00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:47,686
hot and sweet.
246
00:18:05,573 --> 00:18:08,804
Don't even start
unless you want to eat
your teeth for lunch.
247
00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:19,976
What are you doing?
248
00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:22,579
Hot and sweet.
249
00:18:22,657 --> 00:18:25,990
What?
250
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:30,053
I want a beer.
A light beer.
251
00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:32,122
I wanna make
some microwave popcorn.
252
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,828
I wanna sit down
in front of the TV,
start the VCR.
253
00:18:34,903 --> 00:18:37,838
Oh, that time
of the month, huh?
254
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:44,473
Uh, no. I-I don't...
I don't think so.
255
00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:48,745
I just...
256
00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:51,114
I just
wanna go home.
257
00:18:51,185 --> 00:18:54,677
That's what I
wanna talk to you about.
I have a huge favor to ask.
258
00:18:54,756 --> 00:18:58,089
If you do this, I promise
I'll go on that double date
your mother set up tomorrow.
259
00:18:58,159 --> 00:19:00,389
Double date?
Buddy wants to come by
the apartment tonight.
260
00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:03,953
I thought you could
go to a movie?
No.
261
00:19:04,032 --> 00:19:07,263
Please, Sam, I need
some time alone with Buddy
to plan our future.
262
00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:10,668
If he's planning your future
the way he's planning this company's,
you're in trouble.
263
00:19:10,738 --> 00:19:13,673
What is that
supposed to mean?
264
00:19:13,741 --> 00:19:16,141
Nothing. Gloria,
265
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:18,337
I-I-I just wish
you would open your eyes.
266
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,973
If Buddy wants to talk,
really talk about your future,
267
00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,847
why does it have to be
at the apartment?
268
00:19:23,918 --> 00:19:27,786
I'm way over 21, Sam.
269
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:32,888
I just don't
want you hurt.
270
00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:36,829
Does that mean "Yes"?
271
00:19:36,898 --> 00:19:39,332
Maybe.
272
00:20:07,695 --> 00:20:10,630
Ahhh.
273
00:20:11,799 --> 00:20:14,233
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, uh...
274
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:19,330
I-I just came
home to change clothes
and, uh, drop the iron maidens.
275
00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:22,035
You don't have time.
Buddy'll be here
any minute.
276
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:25,637
Yeah, well, you know, um,
277
00:20:25,713 --> 00:20:28,978
maybe the three of us
should talk about your future.
278
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:31,211
Sam, if you want me
to go on that double date...
279
00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:33,412
with you tomorrow night,
you'll get out of here now!
280
00:20:33,488 --> 00:20:35,888
About that double date.
That's another thing...
281
00:20:45,266 --> 00:20:47,200
Ha-ha!
Oh.
282
00:20:52,907 --> 00:20:56,900
Oh, uh, I didn't know
that you two were roomies.
283
00:20:56,978 --> 00:21:00,277
If I were a different kind
of guy...
284
00:21:00,348 --> 00:21:02,612
You wouldn't be here.
285
00:21:03,718 --> 00:21:07,279
Samantha was just going
to the movies.
286
00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:09,619
In those?
287
00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:14,390
Yeah, I thought I might just,
you know, go do a power walk
in the park.
288
00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,862
Get a little aerobics exercise,
get the old heart rate up.
289
00:21:16,931 --> 00:21:20,332
Since you're already going
for a walk, would you mind
taking Bubbles?
290
00:21:21,669 --> 00:21:25,002
Samantha!
Do it for me,
please.
291
00:21:29,844 --> 00:21:33,746
Thanks, doll.
See you in the morning.
292
00:21:33,815 --> 00:21:37,717
The name's Samantha.
293
00:21:55,970 --> 00:21:59,337
- Personally, I prefer
leaving the lights on.
294
00:21:59,407 --> 00:22:03,844
- You keep that up, tiny teeth,
and I'll feed ya to Ziggy.
295
00:22:03,911 --> 00:22:08,507
- A little testy tonight,
aren't we?
- You would be too, if...
296
00:22:08,583 --> 00:22:11,381
If what?
Never mind.
297
00:22:11,452 --> 00:22:14,478
Just save Madam Butterfly
up there from cashing in
her cookies...
298
00:22:14,555 --> 00:22:16,750
and get back
to being a guy.
299
00:22:16,824 --> 00:22:20,282
How? Gloria is convinced
that Buddy's Mr. Wonderful,
300
00:22:20,361 --> 00:22:23,990
that... that he's got
a witch for a wi...
301
00:22:24,065 --> 00:22:26,829
A witch for a wife
and that she's
his only salvation.
302
00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:29,631
Look, all women fall
for that one,
303
00:22:29,704 --> 00:22:32,172
especially single girls
Gloria's age.
304
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,640
What does age
have to do with it?
305
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:39,112
She's 27 years old.
She's fighting
the biological clock.
306
00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:41,876
Those little eggs are
ticking off like time bombs.
307
00:22:41,949 --> 00:22:45,043
Al, a woman can have
a healthy baby
into her 40s.
308
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,054
I know, but people
didn't realize that in 1961.
309
00:22:48,122 --> 00:22:50,590
We're talking
serious old maid here.
310
00:22:50,658 --> 00:22:52,990
She's probably up there
shredding newspapers right now.
311
00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,858
- I wish that's what
she was doing.
312
00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:58,023
I'm warning you!
313
00:23:00,201 --> 00:23:02,829
What is your problem?
314
00:23:02,904 --> 00:23:06,738
You! You!
You... hermaphrodite, you.
315
00:23:06,808 --> 00:23:09,038
You're drivin' me crazy!
316
00:23:09,110 --> 00:23:12,238
I'm not performing with Tina,
so she thinks I've got
somebody on the side.
317
00:23:12,313 --> 00:23:16,716
Beeks is laying this load of
repressed homosexual crap on me.
318
00:23:16,784 --> 00:23:18,979
And every time I see you,
319
00:23:19,053 --> 00:23:23,649
I've gotta deal with... this.
320
00:23:23,724 --> 00:23:27,251
I'm outta here.
Well, you should get outta here.
321
00:23:27,328 --> 00:23:29,694
I can't believe that...
Al, look out!
322
00:23:34,101 --> 00:23:37,229
Yeah, close the door.
323
00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:42,337
Come on, Bubbles.
324
00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:46,847
Figure that Buddy would have
a dog named Bubbles.
325
00:23:48,916 --> 00:23:53,376
Come here.
Come here.
326
00:23:53,454 --> 00:23:57,447
This is great, you know.
327
00:23:57,525 --> 00:23:59,925
Gloria won't listen to me.
328
00:23:59,994 --> 00:24:03,395
My best friend's got
a crush on me,
and I'm a woman.
329
00:24:05,499 --> 00:24:09,595
Whatever I did
to deserve this...
You listening to me?
330
00:24:11,172 --> 00:24:13,436
I don't deserve this.
331
00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:25,245
What a glorious morning!
332
00:24:27,054 --> 00:24:28,749
There's Peeping George.
333
00:24:28,823 --> 00:24:31,815
Don't you think you oughta
put a... a robe on or...
334
00:24:31,893 --> 00:24:35,351
You're the one that's
always saying we should give
the little guy a thrill.
335
00:24:35,429 --> 00:24:37,920
Besides, I'm too happy today
to hide anything.
336
00:24:37,999 --> 00:24:40,433
Oh, for heaven's sakes, Gloria.
337
00:24:44,772 --> 00:24:46,706
What has gotten
into you?
Nothing.
338
00:24:46,774 --> 00:24:52,474
Nothing? You never get up
before noon on Saturday.
You never cook.
339
00:24:52,546 --> 00:24:55,344
And I'm the one that's
always pulling you away
half-naked from the window.
340
00:24:58,786 --> 00:25:01,812
Did Buddy tell his wife?
341
00:25:01,889 --> 00:25:05,347
Oh, that's it.
Yes.
342
00:25:07,328 --> 00:25:09,319
So he's moving out?
343
00:25:09,397 --> 00:25:11,331
Well, not yet.
He and Gail decided...
344
00:25:11,399 --> 00:25:15,995
it would be easier
on the children if they waited
until after the holidays.
345
00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:18,470
Gloria, it's almost
two months till Christmas.
346
00:25:18,539 --> 00:25:21,269
No, it's only a month
till Thanksgiving.
347
00:25:21,342 --> 00:25:25,472
And then Christmas,
New Year's, Valentine's Day,
then President's Day...
348
00:25:25,546 --> 00:25:28,208
President's Day?
And before you know it,
it's the Fourth ofJuly.
349
00:25:28,282 --> 00:25:30,978
We know that a man
can't leave his wife
on the Fourth ofJuly.
350
00:25:31,052 --> 00:25:33,418
It would be un-American.
I'm sure they have a family barbecue,
351
00:25:33,487 --> 00:25:35,887
and I'll bet that Buddy's a whiz
at lighting charcoal with...
352
00:25:35,957 --> 00:25:40,326
Stop it! Just stop it!
Buddy said he's leaving Gail
after the holidays and he will.
353
00:25:40,394 --> 00:25:43,852
- No, he won't.
- What do you have,
a crystal ball?
354
00:25:43,931 --> 00:25:45,865
In a way.
355
00:25:45,933 --> 00:25:48,663
It's telling me that Buddy
will never leave his wife.
356
00:25:48,736 --> 00:25:50,704
Buddy is not Tony!
357
00:25:52,006 --> 00:25:53,974
Tony?
358
00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:56,236
It's not my fault
Tony lied to you.
359
00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:58,505
It's not my fault
Tony didn't leave his wife.
360
00:25:58,579 --> 00:26:01,070
So don't try
and spoil it for me...
361
00:26:01,148 --> 00:26:04,584
just because of what happened
to you two years ago!
362
00:26:30,311 --> 00:26:32,802
I'm sorry.
363
00:26:35,883 --> 00:26:37,851
So am I.
364
00:26:37,918 --> 00:26:41,251
I shouldn't have brought up Tony.
It was a mean thing to do.
365
00:26:41,322 --> 00:26:43,449
No.
366
00:26:43,524 --> 00:26:48,552
Now and then I...
need reminding about
things like that.
367
00:26:48,629 --> 00:26:51,621
Sam, please give Buddy
a chance.
368
00:26:51,699 --> 00:26:56,102
Try and see it
from my point of view.
369
00:26:59,273 --> 00:27:01,434
I'll try.
370
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,447
I'll tell you what.
Uh, it's a b-beautiful day.
371
00:27:11,519 --> 00:27:16,513
Um, how about brunch?
At the Pump Room.
372
00:27:16,590 --> 00:27:19,491
Then we'll go shopping at Horne's.
I didn't say
anything about shopping.
373
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,620
A blind date is
the perfect excuse
for a new dress.
374
00:27:22,696 --> 00:27:24,755
I bet your mother'll
even reimburse you.
375
00:27:24,832 --> 00:27:27,630
I've been thinking
about backing out of tonight.
Oh, no way!
376
00:27:27,701 --> 00:27:30,761
Your mom would kill
you and me both.
377
00:27:30,838 --> 00:27:36,071
We'll find a gorgeous new dress,
and then we'll splurge at the Pink Door
on a new hairdo.
378
00:27:36,143 --> 00:27:38,805
It'll be the perfect
girl's day!
379
00:27:43,951 --> 00:27:47,853
When your mother
told me she had this beautiful
daughter living in Detroit,
380
00:27:47,922 --> 00:27:49,947
I thought she was exaggerating.
381
00:27:50,024 --> 00:27:54,324
Mothers have a way
of doing that, but not yours.
382
00:27:54,395 --> 00:27:57,421
If anything,
she understated.
383
00:27:57,498 --> 00:28:00,729
You are gorgeous.
384
00:28:03,003 --> 00:28:05,028
Thank you.
Dick,
385
00:28:05,106 --> 00:28:07,597
I think you're
embarrassing Miss Stormer.
386
00:28:07,675 --> 00:28:11,941
What woman doesn't like
being told how gorgeous she is?
Me.
387
00:28:12,012 --> 00:28:16,039
Are you in
the automotive industry?
Washers.
388
00:28:16,117 --> 00:28:19,814
- Clothing washers?
- No. Little rubber circles.
389
00:28:19,887 --> 00:28:23,288
We make them in 786 sizes
out of 31 different materials.
390
00:28:23,357 --> 00:28:25,450
Everything
from paper to plastic.
391
00:28:25,526 --> 00:28:30,463
You'll find our washers
in every car manufactured
in Detroit.
392
00:28:30,531 --> 00:28:33,659
That's fascinating.
393
00:28:33,734 --> 00:28:37,170
Please,
don't encourage him.
He'll bore you to death.
394
00:28:37,238 --> 00:28:39,638
I can't imagine.
395
00:28:39,707 --> 00:28:41,902
See? You've been
out of the circuit too long.
396
00:28:41,976 --> 00:28:46,174
He was married at 19,
and after 20 years,
she split on him.
397
00:28:46,247 --> 00:28:51,480
My wife... ex-wife...
Had other ideas about...
398
00:28:51,552 --> 00:28:55,215
what she thought
her life should be like.
399
00:28:55,289 --> 00:28:57,917
And I wasn't included.
400
00:28:57,992 --> 00:29:03,020
Drop the violins.
This is a night
for the future.
401
00:29:03,097 --> 00:29:06,863
Isn't that right,
sweetheart?
402
00:29:22,716 --> 00:29:26,618
I have to go...
to the ladies room.
403
00:29:26,687 --> 00:29:29,588
- I'll come with you.
- No.
404
00:29:29,657 --> 00:29:33,218
I'd rather
go by myself.
405
00:29:41,769 --> 00:29:45,637
Feisty little wench,
but I like that.
406
00:29:49,276 --> 00:29:51,141
Calling somebody we know?
407
00:29:51,212 --> 00:29:55,444
You. So we can talk,
and I won't look like a lunatic.
Where have you been?
408
00:29:55,516 --> 00:29:57,746
I've been with Beeks.
409
00:29:57,818 --> 00:30:00,582
She says I'm gonna need
five years of analysis...
410
00:30:00,654 --> 00:30:04,750
before I'll be able to deal
with you as a... a woman.
411
00:30:04,825 --> 00:30:07,760
I'm not a woman!
412
00:30:07,828 --> 00:30:10,820
That's what I
keep telling myself.
413
00:30:10,898 --> 00:30:13,389
Al, I'm ruining
Samantha's life.
414
00:30:13,467 --> 00:30:16,595
I just slugged her date
with my purse
for grabbing my knee.
415
00:30:16,670 --> 00:30:20,697
He grabbed...
That dirty dog.
416
00:30:20,774 --> 00:30:24,005
Would you stop that?
When am I gonna
get outta here?
417
00:30:24,078 --> 00:30:27,309
When you stop Gloria
from committing suicide.
418
00:30:27,381 --> 00:30:31,181
- Which is?
- Tonight.
419
00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:36,121
I didn't really think that talking
to a woman after all these years...
420
00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:38,988
would be so easy,
so comfortable.
421
00:30:39,059 --> 00:30:42,995
Some of it has to do
with being lucky enough to find
a woman with your sensitivity.
422
00:30:43,063 --> 00:30:47,022
I wasn't going to go out
on this date. Ever since Edith
asked me to move out,
423
00:30:47,101 --> 00:30:51,595
I've locked myself away
in my tiny apartment,
angry at the world.
424
00:30:51,672 --> 00:30:53,606
Tonight I don't
feel angry at all.
425
00:30:53,674 --> 00:30:55,869
That's because of you, Gloria.
I'm glad I came.
426
00:30:55,943 --> 00:30:58,468
I just wanted you to know that.
I was wondering if...
427
00:30:58,545 --> 00:31:03,949
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
Sure.
428
00:31:05,552 --> 00:31:08,612
Big guy, I think we got us
a couple of hot ones.
429
00:31:17,131 --> 00:31:19,656
Mrs. Wright?
Yes?
430
00:31:19,733 --> 00:31:23,362
We haven't met.
My name is Gloria.
431
00:31:23,437 --> 00:31:25,302
Gloria Collins.
432
00:31:25,372 --> 00:31:28,899
Oh, yes. Mrs. Davenport
is sponsoring you
into theJunior League.
433
00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:31,740
No. Buddy's Gloria.
434
00:31:32,780 --> 00:31:36,238
- His new secretary?
- No.
435
00:31:36,317 --> 00:31:38,785
I just wanted you to tell you
that I know how difficult...
436
00:31:38,852 --> 00:31:40,979
it's going to be
going through the divorce.
437
00:31:41,055 --> 00:31:44,855
And I'm going to do everything I can
to make it easier on the children.
438
00:31:44,925 --> 00:31:48,361
Sit down, Miss... Collins?
439
00:31:51,298 --> 00:31:54,790
I'm going to try to do this
as gracefully as possible.
440
00:31:58,739 --> 00:32:01,333
Buddy and I have
an arrangement.
441
00:32:01,408 --> 00:32:04,844
He has his personal life,
and I have mine.
442
00:32:04,912 --> 00:32:08,848
Now, whatever lies my husband
has obviously told you,
443
00:32:08,916 --> 00:32:11,077
he will never divorce me.
444
00:32:11,151 --> 00:32:13,847
Buddy is far too egotistical
to give up the status...
445
00:32:13,921 --> 00:32:16,822
he acquired
when he married me.
446
00:32:16,890 --> 00:32:21,850
And if he ever tries,
I will strip him to his shorts.
447
00:32:21,929 --> 00:32:26,195
My advice to you, dear,
is to quietly close your
hope chest on this one,
448
00:32:26,266 --> 00:32:28,530
and try
someone else's husband.
449
00:32:28,602 --> 00:32:34,199
Good-bye, Miss Collins.
You will forgive me
if I don't shake your hand.
450
00:32:38,045 --> 00:32:40,309
What happens tonight that
sends her over the deep end?
451
00:32:40,381 --> 00:32:43,282
There's no data on that.
All we know...
452
00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:46,683
is that on October 16, 1961,
453
00:32:46,754 --> 00:32:49,279
Gloria Collins
committed suicide by...
454
00:32:49,356 --> 00:32:51,756
Samantha!
455
00:32:51,825 --> 00:32:54,157
Bye, Mom.
Gloria left.
456
00:32:54,228 --> 00:32:56,526
What?
I don't know what happened.
457
00:32:56,597 --> 00:33:01,034
We were talking.
She excused herself and went
to this table in the next room.
458
00:33:01,101 --> 00:33:04,070
She was talking to a rather
attractive woman,
459
00:33:04,138 --> 00:33:07,938
and after a minute or so,
Gloria got very upset
and she ran out.
460
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:15,705
- Do you know them?
- Unfortunately.
461
00:33:15,783 --> 00:33:18,343
This is it, Sam.
Hari-kari time.
462
00:33:18,419 --> 00:33:23,118
Is there
anything I can do?
Pray.
463
00:33:58,658 --> 00:34:02,025
Gloria, it's Sam.
I'm comin' out.
464
00:34:04,264 --> 00:34:06,630
I just wanna talk
to you.
Go away.
465
00:34:06,700 --> 00:34:10,329
- I can't. You're my friend.
- Then let me do this.
It's my choice.
466
00:34:10,403 --> 00:34:14,100
- Suicide is not a choice.
- Neither is living.
467
00:34:14,174 --> 00:34:19,202
- Why not?
- I love him, Sam.
468
00:34:19,279 --> 00:34:23,545
Even realizing
what a fool he made of me,
I still love him.
469
00:34:23,617 --> 00:34:27,018
I can't pretend I don't.
470
00:34:27,087 --> 00:34:31,649
I can't pretend
the pain I feel isn't real,
and it'll go away tomorrow.
471
00:34:31,725 --> 00:34:33,989
Suicide won't
change that.
472
00:34:34,060 --> 00:34:37,029
It'll end it.
473
00:34:37,097 --> 00:34:41,227
So will time.
Only, it'll give you
a second chance.
474
00:34:41,301 --> 00:34:44,031
You're not the first woman
to love the wrong man.
475
00:34:44,104 --> 00:34:46,368
It doesn't matter anymore.
476
00:34:46,439 --> 00:34:49,897
Gloria, Buddy's
not worth dying over!
477
00:34:55,715 --> 00:34:58,149
Is that what I'm doing?
478
00:34:58,218 --> 00:35:00,186
That's what he'll think.
479
00:35:00,253 --> 00:35:04,883
And he'll be right.
He'll think you're
killing yourself over him.
480
00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:09,759
Do you want
to give him that?
No.
481
00:35:09,830 --> 00:35:11,764
Give me your hand.
482
00:35:16,570 --> 00:35:19,596
Come on, now.
Nice and slow.
483
00:35:19,673 --> 00:35:21,698
Oh.
Easy.
484
00:35:21,775 --> 00:35:24,039
Aaah!
485
00:35:24,110 --> 00:35:26,908
It's all right.
It's all right.
486
00:35:33,987 --> 00:35:36,251
Sam!
487
00:35:39,626 --> 00:35:41,890
- Kick your shoes off!
- I can't!
488
00:35:41,962 --> 00:35:45,955
Grab my leg
and kick 'em off.
489
00:35:46,032 --> 00:35:48,296
That's it.
490
00:35:48,368 --> 00:35:49,926
Don't look down!
Oh, my God!
491
00:35:50,003 --> 00:35:52,301
Look at me!
492
00:35:52,372 --> 00:35:55,899
Put your
left foot toward me.
Slide it real easy.
493
00:35:58,612 --> 00:36:00,546
Aren't you gonna...
494
00:36:00,614 --> 00:36:03,174
Keep comin'.
Crawl over me.
No!
495
00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:07,118
It's the only way.
Just do it.
496
00:36:14,527 --> 00:36:17,894
Hang on!
497
00:36:17,964 --> 00:36:21,832
Ah. Ah.
498
00:36:26,973 --> 00:36:29,498
Grab my arm!
499
00:36:29,576 --> 00:36:32,602
Hold on!
500
00:36:32,679 --> 00:36:35,671
I've got you!
501
00:36:47,928 --> 00:36:50,988
I made you
some warm milk.
502
00:36:56,136 --> 00:37:00,732
My mom used to bring me
warm milk on rainy nights.
503
00:37:00,807 --> 00:37:05,301
Moms know best.
504
00:37:05,378 --> 00:37:07,539
I don't know
about that, Sam.
505
00:37:09,582 --> 00:37:12,676
She used to tell me that...
506
00:37:12,752 --> 00:37:15,983
someday a Prince Charming
would come along,
507
00:37:16,056 --> 00:37:21,255
and we'd get married
and buy a beautiful house...
508
00:37:21,328 --> 00:37:26,061
and have a couple of kids.
509
00:37:26,132 --> 00:37:29,693
She really blew that one.
510
00:37:29,769 --> 00:37:33,728
You're not exactly
an old maid.
511
00:37:33,807 --> 00:37:37,072
It's not gonna happen for me.
512
00:37:37,143 --> 00:37:41,443
I've been waiting for nine years,
and it's just not gonna happen.
513
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,773
Is that what you've
been waiting for?
514
00:37:44,851 --> 00:37:48,116
For a man to come
and take you away?
515
00:37:48,188 --> 00:37:52,124
Why do you think I'm
in the secretarial pool?
516
00:37:52,192 --> 00:37:54,251
I thought it was
because you enjoyed
what you were doing.
517
00:37:54,327 --> 00:37:56,261
I hate it.
518
00:37:56,329 --> 00:38:00,163
But that's the only place
you can meet eligible guys.
519
00:38:00,233 --> 00:38:02,201
Like Buddy?
520
00:38:04,571 --> 00:38:09,975
Gloria,
you can't use your job
as an excuse to meet guys.
521
00:38:10,043 --> 00:38:14,605
I can't spend the next 30 years
in the secretarial pool either.
Then get out.
522
00:38:14,681 --> 00:38:17,844
And do what?
Whatever you want.
523
00:38:17,917 --> 00:38:21,648
I... I want...
524
00:38:21,721 --> 00:38:26,055
What?
I want to design cars.
525
00:38:26,126 --> 00:38:28,856
Then do it.
Right.
526
00:38:28,928 --> 00:38:31,522
I'm gonna go into the office
Monday morning and say,
527
00:38:31,598 --> 00:38:36,535
"Excuse me, but I have an art degree
and that qualifies me for the design program."
528
00:38:36,603 --> 00:38:38,901
Why not?
Because.
529
00:38:38,972 --> 00:38:41,532
There's never been a woman
in the program.
530
00:38:41,608 --> 00:38:43,735
Well, then,
531
00:38:45,311 --> 00:38:48,280
you'll have to be the first.
532
00:38:48,348 --> 00:38:50,543
Do you know
how hard that would be?
533
00:38:52,352 --> 00:38:57,221
Yeah, I think I do.
And you know what?
534
00:38:57,290 --> 00:39:02,023
You're gonna have to be
twice as good just to be
considered an equal.
535
00:39:02,095 --> 00:39:05,895
I don't know
if I can do that, Sam.
536
00:39:05,965 --> 00:39:09,492
I don't know either,
but you gotta try.
537
00:39:09,569 --> 00:39:12,970
You have got to be
what makes you feel good
about yourself.
538
00:39:13,039 --> 00:39:16,167
And then what?
539
00:39:16,242 --> 00:39:19,370
And then
maybe you'll like you.
540
00:39:19,446 --> 00:39:23,007
Because if you don't
like yourself, Gloria,
541
00:39:23,083 --> 00:39:26,177
no one else will either.
542
00:39:26,252 --> 00:39:30,916
Except guys like Buddy,
and you're not that desperate.
543
00:39:34,828 --> 00:39:37,092
I was tonight.
544
00:39:39,799 --> 00:39:42,495
Thank you.
545
00:39:45,071 --> 00:39:47,505
Oh, I hope when
the right guy finds you,
546
00:39:47,574 --> 00:39:50,509
he realizes
what a good woman you are.
547
00:39:57,350 --> 00:40:00,012
Why don't you
get some rest?
548
00:40:00,086 --> 00:40:02,020
Good night, Sam.
549
00:40:08,962 --> 00:40:11,157
Good night.
550
00:40:36,189 --> 00:40:38,316
Ah!
Hi, cutie.
551
00:40:38,391 --> 00:40:40,757
You look great
in powder blue.
552
00:40:40,827 --> 00:40:44,490
I'm gonna put a bell
around your neck.
Where were you?
553
00:40:44,564 --> 00:40:47,863
I was with Tina.
554
00:40:47,934 --> 00:40:51,700
I thought you were having
problems with Tina.
555
00:40:51,771 --> 00:40:54,638
I was but Beeks fixed that.
556
00:40:54,707 --> 00:40:58,336
She got me to accept
you're my best friend,
and love is part of friendship.
557
00:40:58,411 --> 00:41:03,212
Once I believed that,
I took Tina up to a little cabin
in the mountains and...
558
00:41:03,283 --> 00:41:06,980
Well, you know.
Yeah.
559
00:41:07,053 --> 00:41:09,681
I know.
560
00:41:09,756 --> 00:41:11,690
We ever gonna be the same?
561
00:41:11,758 --> 00:41:13,726
Course we are,
as soon as you leap.
562
00:41:13,793 --> 00:41:16,626
Why haven't I leaped?
563
00:41:16,696 --> 00:41:18,630
Gloria's not gonna
try again, is she?
564
00:41:18,698 --> 00:41:23,328
Uh, no, no, no.
She's gonna marry, uh, Parker.
565
00:41:23,403 --> 00:41:25,633
The little guy?
The guy she met tonight?
566
00:41:25,705 --> 00:41:28,674
Yeah. They're gonna have
a couple of kids.
567
00:41:28,741 --> 00:41:32,199
They're gonna move to California.
They're gonna raise avocados.
568
00:41:32,278 --> 00:41:35,179
I thought I started
women's lib. Hmph.
569
00:41:35,248 --> 00:41:37,876
Well, you did in a way.
570
00:41:37,951 --> 00:41:43,082
Gloria talked
Samantha into joining
the design program with her.
571
00:41:43,156 --> 00:41:45,317
It turned out Samantha
had the real talent.
572
00:41:45,391 --> 00:41:47,985
She ended up heading
the entire division.
573
00:41:48,061 --> 00:41:51,053
Oh, and get this.
She adopted a little girl...
574
00:41:51,130 --> 00:41:54,793
and started one
of the first organizations
for single parents in the country.
575
00:41:54,867 --> 00:41:58,303
- She never married?
- No. What a waste.
576
00:42:00,173 --> 00:42:02,232
I'm really confused now, Al.
577
00:42:02,308 --> 00:42:06,768
If Gloria's okay
and Samantha's emancipated,
why haven't I leaped?
578
00:42:06,846 --> 00:42:09,815
Ziggy has a fascinating
theory about that.
579
00:42:09,882 --> 00:42:12,817
He says you want
to get even with Buddy...
580
00:42:12,885 --> 00:42:16,981
for chasin' you around the office
and makin' you wear lipstick.
581
00:42:17,056 --> 00:42:21,288
Revenge? Oh, come on.
I'm not leaping
because I want revenge?
582
00:42:21,361 --> 00:42:23,955
Very... female.
583
00:42:30,603 --> 00:42:34,630
Al was right.
I wanted revenge.
584
00:42:34,707 --> 00:42:38,040
So I slipped
into Samantha's spiked heels,
585
00:42:38,111 --> 00:42:43,708
put on the most
revealing dress I could get
my... hairy chest into,
586
00:42:43,783 --> 00:42:48,948
and was ready to give Buddy
a lesson in sexual harassment
he'd never forget.
587
00:42:57,930 --> 00:43:02,526
You wanted me?
588
00:43:02,602 --> 00:43:04,661
How's Gloria?
589
00:43:04,737 --> 00:43:08,833
In Ann Arbor, visiting
her mother for a few days.
590
00:43:08,908 --> 00:43:13,470
You know, she gave me quite
a little upset Saturday night.
Well,
591
00:43:13,546 --> 00:43:18,142
that's because Gloria
doesn't know how
to play the game.
592
00:43:18,217 --> 00:43:20,185
And you do?
593
00:43:24,590 --> 00:43:27,923
What do you think?
594
00:43:35,034 --> 00:43:40,563
I knew it all along.
595
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,406
Yeah.
596
00:43:44,477 --> 00:43:49,073
I had you figured
from the start. I did.
597
00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:54,677
All of that
playing hard to get
in the secretarial pool...
598
00:43:56,222 --> 00:43:59,623
didn't have me fooled
for one second.
599
00:44:02,795 --> 00:44:05,923
It didn't?
Nope.
600
00:44:05,998 --> 00:44:10,458
You were just waiting
for the, uh, "Wright" man.
601
00:44:12,872 --> 00:44:15,864
Was I?
602
00:44:17,944 --> 00:44:21,812
All that coy, "Oh, I don't
date married men."
603
00:44:21,881 --> 00:44:23,974
That was just
a smoke screen.
604
00:44:24,050 --> 00:44:27,542
Right, baby?
605
00:44:29,622 --> 00:44:32,420
You know me so well.
606
00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:37,322
Buddy,
607
00:44:37,397 --> 00:44:39,331
there's, um...
608
00:44:39,399 --> 00:44:43,426
There's just one thing
you don't know.
609
00:44:43,503 --> 00:44:47,098
Tell me, baby.
610
00:44:47,173 --> 00:44:50,802
I'm a man.
611
00:44:50,877 --> 00:44:54,472
What?
I'm a man,
612
00:44:54,547 --> 00:44:59,382
a male, a person
of the masculine gender.
613
00:45:01,454 --> 00:45:04,252
What are you
talking about?
614
00:45:04,323 --> 00:45:08,020
You're trying
to make it with a man.
615
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,767
No way.
Not with this body.
616
00:45:17,837 --> 00:45:19,896
Bodies can be deceiving.
617
00:45:21,974 --> 00:45:24,704
You can't be a man!
618
00:45:24,777 --> 00:45:27,177
Why, because I
turn you on?
619
00:45:27,246 --> 00:45:31,182
W... Yeah.
Um, ah...
620
00:45:31,250 --> 00:45:33,810
I-I-I mean, no!
621
00:45:33,886 --> 00:45:37,378
No. Oh, no!
I... I, uh...
622
00:45:37,457 --> 00:45:40,722
You, you were a, uh...
You mean you had a...
623
00:45:40,793 --> 00:45:43,728
Y-You did
a ChristineJorgensen?
624
00:45:43,796 --> 00:45:46,287
No, no. I didn't say
I used to be a man.
625
00:45:46,365 --> 00:45:50,267
I said...
I am a man.
626
00:45:50,336 --> 00:45:52,998
And I'll prove it to you.
627
00:45:53,072 --> 00:45:56,200
No!
628
00:45:56,275 --> 00:46:02,145
If you look closely,
you'll notice that
I walk like a man.
629
00:46:02,215 --> 00:46:04,183
I stand like a man.
630
00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:06,514
And I know things
that only a man can know.
631
00:46:06,586 --> 00:46:09,146
Like what it feels like
to get kicked in the crotch,
632
00:46:09,222 --> 00:46:11,986
how the pain just keeps
growing and growing.
633
00:46:12,058 --> 00:46:15,152
And then that
wonderful sensation when
it finally subsides.
634
00:46:15,228 --> 00:46:19,096
Or what it's like to walk
around high school
with your books in front of you...
635
00:46:19,165 --> 00:46:23,192
to cover up
an embarrassing case
of pubescent hormonal overload.
636
00:46:23,269 --> 00:46:25,430
You had a brother?
637
00:46:25,505 --> 00:46:28,941
Does a brother tell his sister
what he did looking
at his first centerfold?
638
00:46:31,777 --> 00:46:34,211
No, you stay away from me.
639
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,214
I thought I turned you on.
640
00:46:37,783 --> 00:46:41,275
I don't have time
for this stupid game.
641
00:46:41,354 --> 00:46:45,051
Speaking of games,
why don't I show you
how I throw a baseball.
642
00:46:50,463 --> 00:46:53,864
Or better yet,
how I throw a punch.
643
00:47:06,812 --> 00:47:11,909
Not yet. Not yet.
644
00:47:16,053 --> 00:47:19,489
I'm ready to leap now.
645
00:47:35,340 --> 00:47:37,274
Oh, boy.