You know what I would love to do?
I would love to... fix that flat for you, but I can't. I mean...
It's your only tux, and you're late for your wedding.
How could I be late? We've just met.
I'm a lot friendlier than he is.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Wow!
Kick in the butt, ain't it?
I never felt anything like it.
Ooh, who makes this?
Oh, this? This is an experimental model.
Look at that.
- Oh, that's, uh, sheet lightning. - I never saw lightning like that before.
And there are no clouds. I can see the stars.
You know, that's about where they set off the first atomic bomb.
No kidding.
And some people say there's still a top secret project out there.
Something to do with the deep space probe or a...
- Control! - What's happening, Gooshie?
He's leaping. Ziggy said no, but Sam's leaping.
- He can't leap. We're not ready. - Tell Sam that!
- Put him on! - I can't. He's in the accelerator.
Al-Al, what do I do?
Nothing. Any interference could kill him.
I'll be there in two minutes.
Hang on, beautiful.
We did it.
Did what?
I can't remember.
I can't remember anything.
Who am I?
Where am I?
I'll put the coffee on, Tom.
Oh, boy.
I'm in big trouble here.
I don't even remember going to bed with this woman, whoever she is.
And whoever she is, she's certainly... pregnant.
Very pregnant.
Good morning.
What will I be you okay?
The secretary of state appeared to be acting as a go-between...
at the United Nations in an effort to cool down the heightened tensions between...
Tom, better hurry up.
Bird Dog's gonna be here to pick you up in about 10 minutes.
Oh, honey, the P.X. was out of your shaving cream,
so I got you some of that stuff, uh...
What do you call it? The one with the cute little signs on the highway.
"Burma Shave?" Oh, that's it.
Burma Shave. I love those little signs.
What's taking you so long? You gotta hurry up. Come on.
Get in there.
Oh, Tom. Sometimes...
It's a dream.
That's it. I'm dreaming.
All I have to do is flow with it, and I'll wake up.
Shave.
The sooner you shave, the sooner you'll wake up.
Oh, God.
It smells real.
It feels real.
What the hell is happening?
Tom?
Honey, what's wrong? Who do you see in the mirror?
Oh, Tom, would you cut it out? You nearly scared me into delivering.
Who do you see in the mirror? You.
- Me? - And me.
Oh.
Oh, I look awful.
Most women bloom when they get pregnant. I shrivel.
Tom, I look like a prune.
My name's not Tom.
Honey, you're supposed to say, "Peg, I love prunes."
- What do you mean your name's not Tom? - Daddy, Captain Birdell's on the phone.
- I'm a daddy. - Tom, are you sick?
Oh, honey, you're not gonna fly if you're sick, are you?
Fly?
Mikey, tell Captain Birdell that Daddy will call him as soon as he gets out of the shower.
Roger. And get his number. You know him. He never sleeps at the B.O.Q
555-2231.
Daddy's in the shower. What's your number?
5-5-5
Tom, what are you up to? I'm calling my office.
- But that's Block field 8-4-7. - What the hell's wrong with the phone?
You're dialing too many numbers.
Too many? Maybe not enough. What's the area code?
Area code? You never tell us codes, Dad. That's secret stuff.
Secret? What the hell is secret about an area code?
If you're testing one of your gags on us, I don't have time for it and neither do you.
That's the morning report on KHOl.
Stay tuned for all the denizens of Doodyville...
with Buffalo Bob and Howdy Doody.
Well, Howdy Doody, kids.
- And howdy, Buffalo Bob. - Howdy there, Mr. Doody.
Boys and girls at home and all our kids here in the gallery, let's go!
It's Howdy Doody time
Bob Smith and Howdy too
Wave howdy-do to you
Okay.
It's not a dream.
It's a nightmare.
And if it's a nightmare, sooner or later,
there's gonna be a bogeyman.
Until the bogeyman showed up, I decided to ride out the dream.
Not that I had a choice.
Everyone seemed to think it was 1956,
and that I was an air force captain named Tom Stratton...
with a wife called Peg and one and two-thirds children.
Evidently, my best friend was the officer behind the wheel,
a Captain Birdell, who everyone simply called Bird Dog.
It didn't take long to find out why.
Hey. Hey-hey-hey, hoo-hoo.
Look at this.
Oh, my. And I don't see a wedding ring.
Good morning, sweet pea. How are you?
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Captain Bill Birdell and...
well, my facially wounded friend here is Captain Tom Stratton.
You might've heard of us. We're the only two pilots...
in the entire United States Air Force brave enough to fly the X-2.
Oh?
What about Tony LaMott? Oh, Lord.
Don't tell me you've been led astray by that junior birdman.
Captain LaMott might have a complicated wristwatch,
but he ain't anywhere close to being otherwise test pilot equipped.
This being Friday, I assume you're...
staying at the ranch as his weekend guest?
Well, I'm staying at the ranch. Then I'll anticipate a dance tonight.
And the sonic booms you hear today will be dedicated to you.
"Only two guys brave enough to fly the X-2."
You gotta impress the ladies, pard, if you wanna score.
Besides that, it's true.
What if I told you I couldn't fly?
You sick? No, I just...
When I woke up this morning, couldn't remember how to fly.
I like it. It's so crazy, I like it.
Who you gonna pull it on? It's not a joke.
You sound like you mean it. I do.
Damn, Tom, that's what makes you the best, that sincere look.
Hell, if I could lie with a straight face like you, my bird-dogging rate would double.
Hey, what say we pull it on Weird Ernie.
Weird Ernie? Yeah, we'll tell him that flying faster than Mach 2...
is affecting our minds.
Affecting your minds how?
It seems the faster I fly, the less I remember about it.
I've experienced that. And I'm starting to forget things, like my wife's birthday.
I never forgot Lucy's birthday until I flew at Mach 2.5.
Last time I busted Mach 2, I forgot where I parked my car.
That's fascinating.
Dr. Berger, could you design a test to quantify these apparent memory losses?
- I should be able to come up with something. - Good. Good.
This is a most interesting development. Thank you, gentlemen.
Before we mount up, there's one more thing. We believe the fire warning light...
Captain Birdell encountered at Mach 2.6 was a result of inadequate insulation.
We've rewired the system, and we expect no further problems.
What's all this "we" stuff? You gonna be up there with me?
I wish I could, Captain LaMott. I truly wish I could.
But as you know, my war wounds physically disqualify me.
If you should experience a red light around Mach 2.6,
shut down until the chase plane can catch up and check you over...
for visible signs of fire.
A fella could be barbecued doing that.
You get a fire warning light, Tony, I recommend you punch out.
- You didn't eject. - Yeah, but I'm a damn hero.
You know, I like that guy.
He kind of reminds me of me back in the old days.
All right, all right. If there are no further questions, gentlemen, let's mount up.
Well, he swallowed that hook, line and slide rule.
Now, ain't this a kick in the butt?
Chase One, hold on niner east.
Mother Hen, you are cleared to roll.
The pattern is yours. Good luck.
You're my best friends. I need your honest opinion here.
Uh-oh. Which thigh has less stretch marks?
Oh, Lord. My right one. Okay?
Or my left? Gosh, Peg.
You know, I think this one has less. My right?
They're not as wide either. Really?
This is the one I'm using my cactus cream on.
No! Yes!
I gotta stop drinking so much coffee. It's making me jumpy.
Yeah.
Given enough time, you can get used to anything,
even a nightmare.
All you have to do is relax and...
trust those around you.
When did you get into the import business?
What are you talking about? That long-legged honey...
staying at the ranch this weekend.
What's he do, Tom, smell 'em out?
It's a natural gift, son. It's a natural gift.
Sort of like a bird dog flushing quail.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I gotta mount up.
You know, I'm actually beginning to enjoy this.
I mean, here I am, a daring air force test pilot who doesn't have to fly.
Well, she's all yours, pard.
Take her up to 25 while I answer Mother Nature.
Mother Hen heading 2-5-0-2-6-0...
at 12,000 and dropping.
Mother Hen, Edwards. Radar indicates you are in a 40-degree-per-minute turn to the right.
Are you experiencing a problem? Over.
Whoa-ooo-ooo!
- What's wrong? - I can't fly.
Bird Dog, Tom, can you read me? Over.
Mother Hen, Edwards. Do you have a problem? Over.
Uh, Edwards, this is Mother Hen.
We must've had a bubble in the hydraulic system,
'cause for a while, this bird was flying like a Mack truck.
Whatever it was, we must have burped it out.
We are continuing our climb up to 25,000.
You save it for Weird Ernie, pard. You ain't never gonna sucker me.
Just don't ask me to fly.
Edwards, Mother Hen. Level at 25,000.
Roger, Mother Hen. You are clear to drop.
Good luck.
Hey, Tony, I'm tired of hauling your butt around.
I'm gonna cut you loose and see which of us gets back to that blonde first.
Is everybody back there okay where they're at?
Yeah, looks fine to me.
All right. 240 indicated. Here we go, ladies.
Drop in ten, nine, eight,
seven, six,
five, four,
three, two,
one.
Bombs away.
Ride her, cowboy.
Mach 1.3 and accelerating.
Nosing over.
One-nine. Mach 2.
All right. She's leveling off.
65,000.
Sixty-six.
Level at 71,000.
Mach 2.4.
On profile.
All right. Starting my run. Firing rocket three.
Mach 2.5.
Two-six.
Outside skin temperature. 683.
Ain't no fire warning light.
I guess we beat that gremlin.
Mach 2.7.
Two-eight.
Skin temperature. 800.
Fire warning light.
Rockets off.
Everything looks okay. Mach 2.4.
2.3.
Nah, I think it's another false alarm.
- Hey, where are you, Dougie? - Five miles behind you at 30,000.
Roger. Coming back to you for a look-see.
Don't turn above Mach 2. Don't turn above Mach 2.
Oh, I lost her!
Did you see it?
There.
Oh, God.
Well, the X-2 didn't get him, but she's sure gonna auger him in.
- You think so? - Yeah, he's got that, uh, that sick calf look.
Here we go, gang. Bird Dog's about to pounce.
Shoot, he's the only pilot left in the B.O.Q
Be awful lonesome in there without him.
How would you know? You never sleep in the B.O.Q
As nightmares go, this one is definitely taking a turn for the better.
Even at six months, I found Peg... stunningly beautiful.
Although, I doubt she'd believe it.
It could be that pregnant women hold some strange attraction for me, but...
I think it's Peg.
Whatever it is, the chemistry is definitely working and,
well, I'll just have to keep telling myself...
I'm not really her husband, Tom.
Would you like to dance?
What? Dance.
With this stomach? I can reach around it.
Well, I wanna know who you've been dancing with, mister.
What? Tom, you may be the best pilot in the air force,
but you were born with two left feet... until tonight.
Maybe I just needed a well-rounded partner.
Peg? Hmm?
Who's that guy by the jukebox?
That's Doug.
No, no, no. The guy in the tux.
A tux? In here?
You don't see a man in a black tux standing by the jukebox?
Tom, Tom.
Everything is so nice. Let's not spoil it.
Either someone blocked Peg's view of the guy in the tux,
or the bogeyman had arrived.
Whichever it was, I was going to find out.
Oh, Tom. No, you're six months along, Peg.
At six months, you dance one, and then sit one out.
Doctor's orders. But I feel fine,
and we never get a chance to dance.
This is my favorite song. I don't want you to overdo it.
Look, we've got all night, okay?
Okay.
I'm gonna go feed the old jukebox. I'll be right back.
Isn't this great?
I mean, isn't this just great?
Brings back so many old memories.
Hey, have they got "Be-Bop-A-Lula" on there?
Got me through some long, cold nights at M.I.T.
"Be-Bop" and a little Lithuanian girl named Danesa.
She was in the chemistry lab researching the...
Am I dead? What?
Dead. Am I dead? It would explain a lot.
I could be in a reverse reincarnation that's entered in midlife.
That's a good one, Sam. You know my name.
I'm not that wasted.
Why do you know who I am when no one else does?
Are you serious? Dead serious. No pun intended.
Oh, my God.
You really don't recognize me, do you? No.
Or remember the experiment. What experiment?
What do you remember prior to waking up this morning?
Other than my name and a telephone number, not a lot. What experiment?
If I'm part of an experiment, then this all isn't a psychotic hallucination, is it?
Is it?
Oh, God, that putz Ziggy was right.
Ziggy? I remember a Ziggy. A little guy with bad breath.
You're slipping; pard.
Nobody's gonna fall for that old "talking to somebody who ain't there" gag.
Oh, God. What the hell?
What are we gonna do?
- We're in a rotten fix. I told him not to...
Though I don't know
Many words of praise
Please, God,
I'd like to wake up now.
Put on your bonnet your cape and your glove
And come with me
This is KCV530, Victorville.
Here's Velton Bunch and the Dovetones.
I never realized how hard it was to follow a road without striping.
Striping?
I was just thinking that, you know,
if they would paint white stripes along the side of the road,
it would be easier to see.
That's a very good idea, Tom.
I got a few of them.
Tonight was fun.
Good.
It was a little scary too. Why scary?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe because...
you wanted to dance.
It's not the first time we danced.
And you didn't drink more than one or two beers...
or talk flying.
I can't remember the last time you sat...
at a table full of pilots and you didn't talk airplanes.
It seemed to me that's all we talked about.
That's all they talked about. You didn't say a word.
I wasn't in a talkative mood. You were at the jukebox.
"Why is it..." "When you..."
"Try to pass..." "The guy in front..."
- "Goes twice as fast?" - "Burma Shave."
Oh, it feels nice.
How did it work? Better than my electric razor,
uh, would.
I don't use an electric razor, do I? No.
No, Tom.
What's going on? I wish I knew.
- Honey, just tell me, okay? - What if I told you my name wasn't Tom?
You said that this morning in the bathroom. It's Sam.
Don't ask me what my last name is because I can't remember it.
I look in a mirror, and I see...
Tom Stratton, I guess,
but he's not me.
I can't fly.
In fact, I don't know what I can do.
When I woke up this morning,
I didn't know you or Mikey... or anyone else at the base.
I know it sounds like I belong in a loony bin, but it's the truth.
The reason I'm acting different is because I am different.
- I'm not your Tom. - Oh, Tom.
Oh, look.
Please don't... Then stop doing this, okay?
You asked me to explain... Just stop it, Tom.
I'm sorry, Peg.
I'm being a real nerd.
You were right. I'm setting up a gag.
- Thank God. - I shouldn't have tried it on you.
Oh, honey, you had me scared to death.
I thought you had a brain tumor or something.
I never thought of that. What?
Bird Dog and I have been dreaming up theories to explain why I can't fly.
You see, that's the joke.
I tell Weird Ernie that I forgot how to fly.
You tell Weird Ernie that you forgot how to fly. Yeah.
Tom, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
I don't know. It sounds pretty plausible to me.
Tom? Hmm?
What's a nerd?
Well, it, uh...
What's the matter?
What? Nothing. Go back to sleep.
Okay.
That's all I need, a good night's sleep.
I'll figure it out in the morning when I milk the cows.
"Milk the cows"?
I was raised on a dairy farm in Indiana...
until I was 18.
I went to college at...
Damn, I can't remember. Stick to the farm.
I was raised on a farm with... my sister Kate.
Katie married a naval officer.
Um, Lieutenant John...
No, Jim. Jim Bonick.
Yeah, Katie and Jim Bonick.
Mom's lived with them in Hawaii ever since...
Dad died in '74.
But this is '56.
My dad is still alive.
Operator.
Operator, I'd like long distance, please.
Long Distance.
Indiana, please.
Elk Ridge, Indiana. Number, please.
I'm-I'm-I'm trying, Operator, but it's been a long time.
Um, it's...
Oakdell.
Yeah, that's it. Uh, Oakdell...
Sir, why don't you give me the name of the party,
and I will ring Elk Ridge Information.
Sir?
Sir, do you want Elk Ridge Information?
Dad? What's wrong?
I'm just... I'm catching a cold.
Wanna skip the fishing trip?
- What? - It's Saturday.
You said we'd go fishing today.
But we don't have to if you don't feel good.
What are you talking about?
Nothing cures a cold faster than a fishing trip.
You don't wanna do that.
I just did that to show you what not to do.
I'll bring it back now, and I'll show you how it should be done.
Now, remember, Mikey, even your best fly fisherman...
gets his fly snagged now and then.
But it's the old pro who can bring it back without...
Can I try now, Dad?
You stay here and fish this, uh, pool, all right?
I'm gonna fish further upstream. Roger.
Dad, I know you're trying to make me look good.
Yeah.
Is that a Ginger Quill spent wing?
Or maybe a Blue Dunn? I don't know.
I got such a damn hangover. It could be a Coors pop-top.
Don't yell, please!
I should've stayed in bed with Tina.
You still don't remember me, huh?
That's sad, pal, very sad.
My name is Albert.
Albert what, I can't tell you, because it's restricted.
Most of what you're gonna wanna know is restricted.
So it'll be easier for us if you don't ask a lot of questions.
- What are you? - That's a question, Sam.
I'm a man, like you.
Mmm.
- Not like me. - Oh, no, uh, this isn't me.
This is, uh, a neurological hologram.
It's an image that only you can see and hear.
Created by a subatomic agitation of carbon quarks...
tuned to the mesons of my optic and optic neurons?
- You got it. - How did I know that?
Ziggy has come up with five different scenarios to ex...
Ziggy!
Ziggy, a little guy with bad breath.
No, that's Gooshie.
He programs Ziggy. Ziggy's a hybrid computer.
Hybrid computers and neurological holograms didn't exist in 1956.
Only in theory. But this is '56.
Well, it is for you. It is not for me.
What's my last name?
If you can't remember, I can't tell you. It's important.
But it's also on top of Ziggy's no-no list, double-starred.
Why? I can't tell you that either.
What the hell can you tell me?
Basically, what you already know.
That you're, uh, part of a time-travel experiment...
that went a little caca.
"A little caca"?
- How little caca? - Well, you're here, which is a biggie.
I mean, that's a first. It's Nobel Prize time.
You should be proud of that. And?
And, uh, uh, we're experiencing...
technical difficulties in, uh, retrieving you.
That's great, Al.
I wake up in '56 with a memory like Swiss cheese,
and you're experiencing technical difficulties?
Whose brainchild is this, yours?
No, not mine.
I haven't got a lot of time. I have to find out which of these scenarios...
can explain why we couldn't retrieve you this morning.
You tried? Of course we tried. You wouldn't leap.
So now it's my fault. Possibly.
Did you tell anyone that you're not Tom Stratton?
Sort of. Oh, Sam.
Retrieving you is dependent upon everyone here...
believing that you're the person you replaced.
They didn't believe me. I look in a mirror, and I don't believe me.
That's to be expected. To us, Tom looks just like you.
He's with you? Of course.
How do you think we located you? When you went in, he came out.
If it's any consolation, his memory is full of holes too.
Now, everyone has to believe that you're Tom Stratton...
if we're gonna be able to retrieve you on Tuesday.
Tuesday.
Tuesday's gonna be a little late.
I'm, uh...
I'm scheduled to test-fly the X-2 on Monday.
Did you ever think of taking flying lessons?
Just a thought.
All right, give me the big one. Right down the middle.
Not bad, not bad. Right in the glove. Right in the glove.
Right down the middle. No batter, no batter, no batter, no batter.
What you need is a little Texas sauce.
Yeah! Ow. Mmm.
How does he do it? Probably wearing his hat.
Sometimes Doug wears his goggles.
Well, I think it's sexy.
I mean, if anything, that spin became even flatter.
Hi, baby.
I mean, I didn't want to punch out inverted, but what the hell else could I do?
All right.
Yeah!
Wow!
Did you see that roll and flip he did at the top, Dad?
What do you call it? You got me.
- The chandelle, Mikey. - Wow! It sure was something.
Yeah, it sure was.
I'd better help your mom.
Aw, Dad. Unless you wanna set the table.
Hey, Captain Crawford, wanna play catch?
Sure do. Fire one on in there, Mikey.
Hi. Hi.
You okay? I'm fine.
You look a little pale. Yeah, well, it's the heat.
I'll never get used to it.
You want me to help? I make a mean Caesar salad.
I'm just kidding. I know.
But not about how you look.
Well, that's your fault.
That's not what I meant. Look, I'm fine.
I really am.
Why don't you just go back on out there with Mikey?
You know, you haven't spent this much time with him since he was hit by the bus.
Okay.
Hey, flyboy.
Come and get it. Uh...
Got to eat trout while it's sizzling.
Yeah.
Why don't you take the salad out? I'll get the rolls.
Yeah.
I'm sorry to pull you from your barbecue,
but Dr. Berger and I have just finished a questionnaire...
to test Captain Birdell's theory that Mach 3 flight has a negative effect on the memory.
Quite frankly, if this theory had come from you, I'd be skeptical.
We all know your penchant for practical jokes, eh?
Doctor, any memory loss I suffer won't be faked.
We're going to call it the Ernst-Berger Engramic Standard.
200 questions designed to benchmark a person's memory.
I thought we were gonna call it the Berger-Ernst Engramic Standard.
Hi, Tom. Hi.
These questions should give us a cross section of your memory.
Some, like your age, place of birth, are the usual statistics.
But I think you'll find most are rather unusual.
What was the coldest you've ever been?
Who was your second-best friend in college?
Where did you first make love?
Well, at least you didn't ask to who.
Dr. Ernst suggested that,
but where is as meaningful and more discreet.
Sort of a personal "Trivial Pursuit"?
Not a bad name.
The Berger-Ernst Engramic Trivial Pursuit.
Ernst-Berger. We'll need this filled out before you take off on Monday.
You'll fill it out again when you land.
If there are any significant changes in your memory, we should be able to detect them.
- Any questions, Captain? - Uh, no, no.
It seems simple enough. I'll, hum... I'll have it for you on Monday.
Doctors.
Doctor, we could be on the verge of a momentous discovery.
Or the butt of a momentous joke.
Pretty simple, huh?
Can't you just fade in or something?
You tell me how to fade in agitated carbon quarks, and I'll make the Scientific Journal.
Just don't sneak up on me. You still don't remember our project?
Bad enough I have to give Dick-and-Jane explanations to the president.
I've gotta give you one too. All right.
One end of this string represents your birth.
The other end, your death. You tie the ends together, and your life is a loop.
Ball the loop...
and the days of your life touch each other out of sequence.
Therefore, leaping from one point of the string to another...
Would move you backward or forward within your own lifetime.
Which is our project, Quantum Leap!
I can't remember.
Al! I wish you would stop doing that.
What?
Walking through things.
Well, you want me to walk around something that isn't even here? All right, I'll walk around it.
There. How's that? Why-Why isn't it here?
I'm a hologram to you, right? Well, you and everything around you is a hologram to me.
You're in the imaging chamber. You remember.
Vaguely. A cavern somewhere. New Mexico.
What year is it there?
You'll find that out... if we get you back. If?
Well, see, Ziggy's theory is really... It's a load of crap.
I mean, you gotta believe that God or time or something...
was just waiting for your quantum leap to, uh,
to correct a mistake. A mistake in time?
Something that happened in the life of Captain Tom Stratton in '56,
since he's the one you bounced out.
Once that's put right, you'll snap back like a pimp's suspenders.
Once what's put right?
Tom Stratton was killed trying to break Mach 3 in the X-2.
If Ziggy's right, all you have to do is break Mach 3...
and live.
Hey! No way.
Hey, pal, it's not my theory. There's gotta be another way.
The next one's only got a 52% chance of working.
I'll take it.
It requires you to be at ground zero during an atomic detonation.
You asked. What else have you got?
This isn't a shopping list, you know.
The odds drop into the low teens after that.
Your best shot is freezing the brain until all electrical activity has ceased.
That's called death. I never said it would be easy.
Hey, slow down, will ya? I'm fighting a hangover.
All right, you want a sure thing? I got it for you.
You don't do anything. You just live. Barring accidental death...
or a fatal disease, you'll be back in 40 years.
That's your safest option. And Tom Stratton?
He'll go on living forward from where he's at now.
Technically, he could end up the oldest man alive.
Well, what about Peg and Mikey? I don't want to hurt them, but I can't go on pretending I'm Tom.
Hey, they were gonna lose him on Monday anyway.
Of course, if you bust Mach 3 and survive,
they could have him around for another 30 or 40 years. I can't fly!
I'll be your copilot. You're a hologram.
I'm also an ex-astronaut. The hardest part about flying is taking off and landing.
The B-50 does the first part for you. After that, you just fire a couple of rockets,
hang on to the stick and ka-za-zoom, Mach 3.
And the second part? Landing?
You could never land the X-2, not even with my help. So, you don't.
I eject? Mmm.
X-2 does a crash and burn. You float back to earth on a pillow of silk.
The moment you touch down, you leap forward, Tom leaps back, and the broad and I...
are gone to Las Vegas. It might work.
Of course it'll work.
A minute ago you said it was crap.
That was before I thought it out.
Tom?
You should be asleep. And you shouldn't be?
You're worried about breaking the record tomorrow, aren't you?
No.
Oh, honey, you'll do it. You're gonna be the fastest man alive.
Tom...
promise me.
What? No, you have to promise first.
Well, that's silly. How can I promise something if I don't know what...
Just promise.
I promise.
Now, what did I promise?
I'll tell you tomorrow night.
Thanks, guys.
Well, ready to become the fastest man on earth?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Oh. What did you think of this, Tom?
Well, I'm not sure how useful it'll be to gauge a memory loss, but, uh,
filling it out last night sure brought back a lot of old ones for me.
Well, my boobs are as big as Marilyn's.
Lucy, you're five months pregnant.
Well, maybe she is too. Why else would a guy like Miller marry her?
Guess.
Sally, he's a writer. They're only used to the finer things in life.
Honey, there is nothing finer in life.
You are so bad!
There's a yellow rose in Texas
That I am gonna see
Nobody else could miss her
Not half as much as me
She cried so when I left her
Hey, wait a minute. Listen to this.
It like to broke my heart
And if I ever find her we'll never fall apart
If you don't clear this radio, Captain Birdell,
the only yellow rose you'll be seeing will be the one I'll shove up your afterburners.
- Is that clear? Over. - Uh, that's a roger, Edwards.
Read this.
"Date of birth, August 8th, 19... 53."
- Well, that's a typo. He means 1923. - Keep reading.
"What had the most positive impact on me in high school? Answer: miniskirts.
"What had the most negative impact on me in high school? Answer: panty hose?"
It's time to mount up, Tom.
Hey, Tom, this is gonna sound a little weird, but...
right before I got the fire warning light, I swear I smelled coffee brewing.
Maybe it's one of Weird Ernie's gremlins.
Yeah, maybe.
Good luck, Tom.
Where are you, Albert?
Hmm.
"When feeling lonely, I rent a video and microwave some popcorn."
This is gibberish. Very creative gibberish.
Captain Stratton has answered each question as if he had...
been born in '53 and lived in the future.
Then this whole memory loss thing is another one of their hoaxes.
I'm afraid so. Well, how stupid do they think I am?
Pet rocks. Water beds.
What was it he said he was expelled from college for? Uh, streaking.
He's got a sick mind, Doctor. They all do.
Maybe they have to.
Okay.
Uh, Albert?
Locked tight. All set, Captain. Good luck.
Edwards, Mother Hen. Level at 25,000.
Roger, Mother Hen. You are clear to drop.
Good luck.
Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five,
four, three, two,
one. Albert!
Bombs away.
Albert.!
X-2, Chase One. Do you have a problem? Over.
I can't fly.
Relax. I can. Al?
Al? Where are you? Right here.
Hey, Tom, do you read me? Come in, X-2.
Follow my lead. Light off one and two.
It's a kick in the butt, ain't it?
Match my movements.
Where the hell were you?
I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.
A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?
It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game.
At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.
I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.
Well, I did. Uh, coming up on Mach 1.
Coming up on Mach 1.
Mach 1.3. Nosing over.
Mach 1.3. 50,000. N-N-Nosing over.
Now ease the stick forward. That's enough.
Mach 1.7.
Mach 2. 68, 69.
Mach 2.
Level at 70,000. Mach 2.4. On a profile.
Level at 70,000. Mach 2.4.
On profile.
Wow.!
It's incredible!
- What now? - Punch three and go for it.
Mach 2.4, 2.5. Outside skin temperature. 685.
- Mach 2.7. Skin temperature. 750. - Ride her, cowboy.
Mach 2.8.
- Do you hear that? - Mach 2.9. Yes.
Tony didn't smell coffee. He heard it perking.
It's the fuel, Sam.
The heat is boiling the fuel. Shut 'em down, Sam. Shut 'em down!
Shut 'em down.!
Pull, Sam. Eject.!
I'm still here. No, damn it, I'm still here.!
Al!
You know, Captain, we could be combing the desert with tweezers and little glass jars...
looking for what's left of you.
You guys are all alike. Losing your plane's worse than losing your wife.
I'd trade my ex-wife for any wreck they got.
I'm still here. Hmm. 'Bout time you realized it.
What now? I'm going to take your blood pressure.
We could try the A-bomb theory. No, thank you.
Well, I'm sorry, but it's necessary. It's not my theory, Sam.
I never bought into that "good deed, put time right" bull. Not really.
So I'm stuck here? I don't think so.
Maybe not. A few tests at the hospital, and you should be able to go home.
Maybe you could leap back when you least suspect it, like tonight when you're sleeping.
Do you really believe that? Absolutely. I don't know.
I don't see any reason to keep you in the hospital. But in the meantime,
there's no reason for me to stay here, and I would feel really bad...
if Martha woke up and found out that I'd gone without even saying good morning, you know?
It's not nice.
Unless your blood pressure keeps elevating.
Dr. Berger, please contact the ward nurse.
Daddy!
Hey. Hey, I'm okay.
Peg went into premature labor when she heard the crash.
Okay, I'll be right.
Look, I know you want to be with your mom.
And you will. But, uh,
right now I want you to stay with Sally and Lucy, okay?
They're both pregnant, and they're very frightened. You understand?
Yes, sir.
She'll be fine, son.
I promise.
Tom, what...
Is she dilated any further?
Tom. Tom!
Oh.! Oh.!
Oh!
Oh, I knew you'd keep your promise.
It'll take more than a gremlin to kill me.
Hey, did you set a record?
I guess so. Oh, I'm so proud of you!
Look at me. Look at me. Take a deep breath.
Hold it... and let it out like this.
Okay?
Where did you learn to do that? Premed.
Oh, Tom!
Excuse me. Tom?
I'll be right back.
Tom, this is Dr. Blaustein.
It's not good, Captain. The baby's gonna arrive at least nine weeks premature.
The nearest neonatal intensive care unit's in L.A.
Now, we've got a plane standing by...
but considering the shock that your wife's been through...
I don't want to risk moving her.
It's your decision, Tom. I'd recommend delivering here and flying the baby to L.A.
The baby won't have a chance. Not much, but your wife will.
Dr. Cooper to O.R. 3. Dr. Cooper to O.R. 3.
How far apart are the contractions?
It's early labor. It's just started. How far dilated?
Two centimeters, and the cervix is partial effaced.
Then it's early enough to stop. Captain, once labor's started you can't stop it.
Of course you can. Start her on a beta sympathomimetic. A what?
A beta sympathomimetic.
I'm not sure which one. Obstetrics isn't my specialty. Probably ritodrine or terbuta...
Hell, those didn't come out till the late '70s. Excuse us a minute, Doctor.
Captain, the only reason I'm not kicking you from here to the flight line...
is that woman down the hall needs you.
She doesn't have to deliver. I know what I'm talking about. Now you're a doctor?
Evidently.
Tom, considering what you've been through today,
I'm gonna make an allowance for your behavior up to now.
But if you persist in wasting our time with this little sham you and Captain Birdell...
are trying to perpetrate, mister, I'll see you never fly again!
It's not a sham. Those answers are true.
Dr. Ernst was right. You are one sick bastard.
Alcohol.
A five percent solution of ethanol alcohol in dextrose and water...
intravenously administered will stop labor.
The technique was developed in the '60s. Beta sympathomimetics replaced it in the '70s.
But it'll still work. Use your brain, damn it!
What will an intravenous five percent solution of alcohol do?
Get her instantly drunk,
which will interfere with the oxytocins...
her brain's releasing to stimulate the uterine contractions.
Thank you.
Did you hear any of that, Barry? Yeah, I did.
What do you think? Well, let's give it a try. Nurse, prepare an I.V...
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Well, what do you think, boys?
We have Doris Day for a patient. Well?
She's gonna have one beaut of a hangover, but she's not gonna deliver.
Do you want to tell me how in the hell Captain Stratton...
Barry, do me a favor.
Hmm? Don't ask.
Hey, flyboy, the squares are gone.
You wanna boogie?
I love you.
I love you too, Peg.
Hey, Fox.! Fox, what ya posing for?
Ain't nobody gonna take your picture.
Nice catch, Foxy.
This is it, folks. Down by five, the last of the ninth.
Unless the Bombers can pull a miracle and win this final game of the 68th season,
it's the cellar for the third year in a row.
The bottom of the ninth is brought to you tonight, as it has been all year long,
by Shneck and Shneck Funeral Parlors,
serving Waco and the Texas Hill Country for 43 years.
All right, now, put some fire under it.!
Hustle, boys! Now hustle! We're gonna beat these Okies.
Fox! Do something!
Me? Why me?
It's your dog.
He knew. The little sucker knew.
And he wasn't gonna stop barking until they all knew.
Stray dogs are pretty common on the farm belt,
and one of the first things my dad taught me was how to face the wild ones down.
You look them straight in the eye, and you let 'em know who's boss.
Of course, it had been a long time since I was a kid.
Then again,
once you've got the touch, you never lose it.
- That's the damnedest thing I ever saw. - How'd you teach him that, Foxy?
Well... Aah!
Barnes lines a solid shot down the aisle in right center.
Pace is chasing it back into the corner. Barnes is rounding first.
Here comes the throw to second, and he - Safe!
He's safe!
Well, the Bombers get their second hit of the game, and it's a double! Oh!
No wonder they're in the cellar. They got about as much enthusiasm as a $10 hooker.
Come on.
I want to watch the game. Will you follow me?
- I can't. I'm up after Matt. - Yeah. Right.
- Something wrong, Fox? - Uh, no. I'm gonna...
I'll be back in a minute. I'm just gonna... you know.
Make it snappy.
Strike!
The next son of a gun that swings at the first pitch, I'm gonna fine 50 bucks!
Al!
How'd you get here so fast?
It's been a week since you quantum leaped. A week?
A couple of minutes ago I was in the hospital with Peg.
Well, you've been bouncing around in time, Sam.
It may have seemed like a couple of minutes to you,
but we've been popping champagne for six days.
Oh, it was a hell of a party too.
Gooshie, he got so wasted that he had Ziggy printing X-rated pictures.
And you know Brenda, the cute little redhead in coding?
She got so turned on!
No, I don't know Brenda, or I don't remember Brenda.
And I certainly don't care how turned on she got.
I'm in a real identity crisis here, Al.
I mean, one minute I'm Tom Stratton, and the next I'm a ball player named Fox.
Tim Fox, 32-year-old third baseman for the Waco Bombers.
According to Ziggy, you hit... 415 in '63 and got called up to Chicago...
where you broke your leg sliding into second and got sent back down to recover.
That was five years ago.
Oh, boy!
Hey, come on, Sam. We're missing the game!
The hell with the game! It's your last one in organized ball.
In a couple of minutes you're gonna fly out to center.
The Bombers are gonna finish another season in the cellar,
and you're gonna hang up your spikes. Then what?
Well, you're gonna open up a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. What?
You'll marry a girl named Sue and have two kids.
Of course, you don't have to be around for all of that.
Soon as we can figure out what needs to be put right, you'll leap outta here.
Like fly the X-2 to Mach 3 and live?
Hey, Ziggy blew it! Yeah.
He didn't research it enough. Originally, Tom Stratton not only died,
but his wife went into premature labor, and the baby was stillborn.
And now? Tom's alive!
Peg gave birth to a healthy baby girl, seven pounds, eight ounces.
Funny thing. They happened to name her Samantha.
Seems like someone wanted both Tom and Samantha to survive.
Yeah.
Come on, Jackson's up. He's gonna hit a homer with one on!
You're a vampire.
What? Neurological holograms don't reflect, Sam.
Obviously when it comes to quantum physics, you're still a mental slug.
But we can talk about this later. Come on. I hate to miss the game.
You already know how it's going to end.
I knew how it was gonna end when I took Brenda into the filing room.
I still took her.
There's the homer. Why didn't I leap all the way?
Twelve years in a blink isn't bad, pal. A couple more of those, you'll be back home.
If I leap forward again. What if I leap back?
That is always possible.
In other words, I could be bouncing around in time forever?
No. Nobody lives forever.
What does Ziggy say I have to put right to leap this time? He isn't saying.
What? He's depressed.
He's a computer. He's got a big ego.
I think he knows what you have to do. He's just afraid to print it out in case he's wrong.
Who created this Ziggy?
You. Quantum Leap is your project, Sam.
You're the genius behind it.
At least you were before your brain got magna-foozled.
No, no. See, I'm a medical doctor. I found that much out.
You hold six doctorates, Sam.
Medicine is just one of them. Your special gift was quantum physics.
Time magazine even called you the next Einstein.
The truth is...
if there's one guy who could figure out how to bring you back...
it's you.
And I can't even remember my name.
It's Beckett.
Sam Beckett.
Jackson hits a towering smash...
over the Shneck and Shneck billboard in center field.!
And the Bombers have pulled within a run. Ooo-wee.!
Long distance.
Long distance?
Yes, I'd like to call a John Beckett...
in Elk Ridge, Indiana.
And I-I-I don't have the number.
John Beckett?
Yes, ma'am. Beckett. One moment, please.
Hello?
Dad?
What? Who is this? Hello? Hello?
Look, whoever this is, I got no time for tomfoolery.
Please, don't hang up.
Who is this?
I- I'm a Beckett.
My father and your father are related.
How?
Uh, they're brothers.
I'm John's son.
John's son? My God, he moved to Australia when I was just a kid.
Huh! Listen to me telling you what your father did.
That's all right.
What's your name? Sam.
Well, I'll be darned. I've named my boy Sam.
How about that? You don't sound Australian, Sam.
Well, I-I-I travel a lot.
I don't believe it.!
Flash hit a stand-up double.
I don't want to disappoint my dad, but I...
I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it home for Thanksgiving this year.
Well, I know he'll understand. I hope so.
It doesn't mean I don't love him. I do, and I miss him a lot too,
even...
even if I never... I never told him.
He knows. You think so?
Well, a boy can't feel about his dad the way you do without his knowing it.
Maybe.
But when I don't show for Thanksgiving, it's-it's gonna hurt him.
Sam, it's nice to have the children home for the holidays,
but sometimes it can't happen.
You're a young man trying to make your mark in the world, and...
how you go about doing that's a lot more important
to your father than showing up for turkey.
At least it would be for me.
Coming from you, that means... that means a lot.
Now you can't make it to Australia for the holidays,
but... we're a lot closer.
Why don't you come up here? We got plenty of room,
and Mom's pumpkin pie has taken a blue ribbon at the Elk Ridge County Fair for ten years.
Well, I don't know if I'll be able to, but I'm...
I'm sure gonna try.
Well, it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving either.
You wanna drop by here anytime, you're welcome.
I'll remember that.
Good-bye.
I love you, Dad.
Hey, Dad, that calf is gonna drop any second.
I'll get my sweater, Sam.
I just talked to my Uncle John's son from Australia.
He may come for the holidays.
Can he milk cows?
Come on.
Thank you.
You know, maybe this quantum leaping...
isn't such a bad deal after all.
Getting a second chance to put things right,
to make the world a better place.
Who knows what I can accomplish before I'm done.
Thanks, Al.
Go fly out.
I don't know, Al. Maybe I'm here to win this one.
The tying run is on second, and the potential winning run is coming up to bat!
Hey, Fox! Tim, this is my last year too,
and, uh, I don't want to end it in the cellar.
Go, Foxy! Go, Foxy!
Foxy! Foxy! Foxy!
Give me one with a four-bagger in it, son.
Go on, Foxy.
Are you serious, Sam?
You notice who that kid kind of looks like out there? Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah? You're gonna fly to center.
Fox flied out to center. I'm not Fox.
Yeah, well, you're not Roy Hobbs either.
Fox, representing the winning run, steps to the plate.
A switch-hitter, Fox has 28 home runs this year, 12 of them batting left-handed.
Be patient in there now! Be patient!
Strike one!
Well, now, at least there's someone around here who can follow orders.
Strike two!
That last one had to be over 100 miles an hour.
I'll get the next one. Did you ask for time?
No. Play ball. All right. Let's go.
"When it comes to that final out in life,
"whether you pop out, ground out or fly out, remember.
Shneck and Shneck will always be there to bring you home."
Fox steps back into the box. He digs in.
Behind 0 and 2 in the count, he looks determined not to let another pitch go by.
Strike three.!