1 00:00:49,536 --> 00:00:54,166 Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 2 00:00:54,249 --> 00:00:56,835 The Americans must be made to suffer. 3 00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:59,254 We must humiliate them. 4 00:00:59,338 --> 00:01:01,965 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 5 00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:05,802 We must strip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus, 6 00:01:05,886 --> 00:01:09,723 until they include us in the peace process. 7 00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:14,311 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 8 00:01:14,394 --> 00:01:18,440 I say wipe out Washington and New York. 9 00:01:18,523 --> 00:01:22,235 What? And spoil three years of good PR? 10 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,530 The Americans believe l'm a nice guy. 11 00:01:25,614 --> 00:01:29,826 In some of their polls, l'm more popular than their president! 12 00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:36,750 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 13 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:40,170 If we do nothing else this week, 14 00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:44,091 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 15 00:01:44,174 --> 00:01:47,010 that will show all the world 16 00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:50,097 that the United States, the great Satan, 17 00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:53,350 is but a paper tiger - a weak nation, 18 00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:58,230 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 19 00:01:58,313 --> 00:02:01,900 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 20 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:25,257 I knew it! 21 00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:03,503 Hey, who are you? 22 00:03:03,587 --> 00:03:06,173 I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 23 00:03:06,256 --> 00:03:09,509 And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! 24 00:03:37,579 --> 00:03:39,623 Watch out! 25 00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:44,789 ..98, 99, 100. It's all here. 26 00:05:44,873 --> 00:05:48,084 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 27 00:05:48,168 --> 00:05:50,295 100% pure. 28 00:05:50,378 --> 00:05:52,630 It better be - all 40 kilos. 29 00:05:52,714 --> 00:05:56,134 The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 30 00:05:56,217 --> 00:05:59,762 - Then we'll expect payment. - Don't worry.' 31 00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:30,627 Police! Throw down your guns! 32 00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:55,234 Kill him. 33 00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:47,787 It's a great day for Americans. This man alone... 34 00:07:56,838 --> 00:07:58,339 There he is! 35 00:07:59,465 --> 00:08:01,509 No flowers, thank you. 36 00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:05,221 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We heard about it. 37 00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:09,434 Thanks. I want to know one thing - is it true about Victoria? 38 00:08:09,517 --> 00:08:13,146 I'm afraid so. She ran off with some guy. 39 00:08:13,229 --> 00:08:15,815 They got married last week. 40 00:08:15,898 --> 00:08:19,569 Then it's over. All of this is meaningless. 41 00:08:19,652 --> 00:08:22,447 I did it for her. Everything. 42 00:08:22,530 --> 00:08:25,032 And now she's gone. 43 00:08:25,116 --> 00:08:29,287 And you came down here to get a hot story, didn't you? 44 00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:31,914 Pictures of me to sell your newspapers. 45 00:08:31,998 --> 00:08:35,751 - Frank... - Sure, you think l'm a big hero. 46 00:08:35,835 --> 00:08:40,381 Do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside? 47 00:08:40,465 --> 00:08:42,592 Frank, they're not here for you. 48 00:08:42,675 --> 00:08:45,178 'Weird Al' Yankovic is on the plane. 49 00:08:50,683 --> 00:08:53,478 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 50 00:08:53,561 --> 00:08:56,981 Don't torture yourself! Put her out of your mind. 51 00:08:57,064 --> 00:09:00,735 I can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 52 00:09:00,818 --> 00:09:04,071 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 53 00:09:04,155 --> 00:09:06,324 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast 54 00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:09,076 and it's the best sex she's ever had. 55 00:09:10,286 --> 00:09:14,790 I trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 56 00:09:14,874 --> 00:09:17,501 I'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 57 00:09:17,585 --> 00:09:22,715 That's why I took my vacation in Beirut - to find some peace. 58 00:09:22,798 --> 00:09:24,842 It won't be easy. 59 00:09:24,926 --> 00:09:28,346 Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. 60 00:09:29,931 --> 00:09:33,142 Maybe cops and women just don't mix. 61 00:09:33,226 --> 00:09:36,646 What about Nordberg? I came as soon as I heard. 62 00:09:36,729 --> 00:09:39,106 He's alive, but on life support. 63 00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:41,901 He's got a 50/50 chance of living, 64 00:09:41,984 --> 00:09:46,113 though there's only a 10% chance of that. 65 00:10:08,219 --> 00:10:12,181 Mrs Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. 66 00:10:12,264 --> 00:10:14,308 Where would you like it sent? 67 00:10:14,392 --> 00:10:19,522 - Frank! l'm so glad you came! - Wilma, I came as soon as I heard. 68 00:10:19,605 --> 00:10:21,273 Thank you, Frank. 69 00:10:21,357 --> 00:10:24,527 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 70 00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:28,114 Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy. 71 00:10:30,449 --> 00:10:32,493 I'll get it! 72 00:10:35,997 --> 00:10:39,083 Get the switch at the back of the bed! 73 00:10:42,128 --> 00:10:46,757 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 74 00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:48,843 I...love you. 75 00:10:50,094 --> 00:10:54,056 I love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 76 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:57,810 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. A boat. 77 00:10:57,893 --> 00:11:01,147 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 78 00:11:01,230 --> 00:11:04,024 - just like last year. - No... Drugs. 79 00:11:04,108 --> 00:11:08,529 Nurse, give this man some drugs! Can't you see he's in pain? 80 00:11:08,612 --> 00:11:11,073 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 81 00:11:11,157 --> 00:11:14,368 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 82 00:11:14,452 --> 00:11:16,746 Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 83 00:11:16,829 --> 00:11:19,999 Give me a couple of days on that one. 84 00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:26,589 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 85 00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:31,051 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 86 00:11:31,135 --> 00:11:32,803 It's hard to tell. 87 00:11:32,887 --> 00:11:37,933 A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 88 00:11:39,685 --> 00:11:42,229 Frank, get a hold of yourself! 89 00:11:42,313 --> 00:11:47,276 A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. 90 00:11:47,359 --> 00:11:50,863 - No way for a man to die. - You're right, Ed. 91 00:11:50,946 --> 00:11:53,866 A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, 92 00:11:53,949 --> 00:11:56,410 getting caught in a combine, 93 00:11:56,494 --> 00:11:59,121 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 94 00:11:59,205 --> 00:12:01,248 That's the way I want to go. 95 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,878 Frank! This is terrible! 96 00:12:05,961 --> 00:12:11,300 Don't worry, Wilma. Your husband is gonna be all right. 97 00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:16,430 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 98 00:12:16,514 --> 00:12:18,516 He's right, Wilma, 99 00:12:18,599 --> 00:12:23,521 but don't wait till the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. 100 00:12:23,604 --> 00:12:27,316 What l'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 101 00:12:27,399 --> 00:12:29,568 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 102 00:12:29,652 --> 00:12:34,698 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense. 103 00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:41,080 Do you know why Nordberg was at the waterfront? 104 00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:44,875 No... 105 00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:48,170 But I found this at home in a drawer. 106 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:55,803 A photograph! 'I Luv You' out of Caracas. 107 00:12:55,886 --> 00:12:58,555 A Panamanian ship. 108 00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:02,851 When he said 'I love you', he was telling you the name of the ship! 109 00:13:02,935 --> 00:13:06,021 I realise that...now. 110 00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:09,900 - We'd better check this out. - I want every available man on it. 111 00:13:09,984 --> 00:13:12,069 I can't spare anybody. 112 00:13:12,152 --> 00:13:16,282 We're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 113 00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:19,034 Wilma, whatever scum did this, 114 00:13:19,118 --> 00:13:23,622 no man will rest until he's behind bars. Let's grab a bite to eat. 115 00:13:29,086 --> 00:13:34,008 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 116 00:13:34,091 --> 00:13:38,887 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 117 00:13:38,971 --> 00:13:43,142 as one of the cities she'll visit during her American tour. 118 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:48,897 Will the city hire additional security officers? 119 00:13:48,981 --> 00:13:54,153 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 120 00:13:54,236 --> 00:13:57,364 a special division of the Police Department, 121 00:13:57,448 --> 00:14:00,534 represented here by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 122 00:14:04,496 --> 00:14:06,540 Thank you, Your Honour. 123 00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:09,418 Louder! 124 00:14:11,503 --> 00:14:14,590 - You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 125 00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:25,058 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the Queen's safety 126 00:14:25,142 --> 00:14:29,396 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 127 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,567 No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 128 00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:38,655 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 129 00:14:40,616 --> 00:14:42,493 Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 130 00:14:43,827 --> 00:14:48,332 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 131 00:14:48,415 --> 00:14:53,045 of the Queen's American tour is completely protected. 132 00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:57,966 And we can take pride that the Queen... 133 00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:06,016 Indeed, it is for all the people, 134 00:15:06,099 --> 00:15:11,355 who will be able to share in these...celebrations... 135 00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:15,817 Especially exciting... 136 00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:22,741 will be...the Queen's... public appearances. 137 00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:40,551 We also would like... 138 00:15:58,986 --> 00:16:03,865 Ed and I drove to where Nordberg had been found floating. 139 00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:08,996 Without leads, you have to start somewhere, and that was the harbour. 140 00:16:09,079 --> 00:16:12,374 Please disperse. Please disperse. 141 00:16:12,457 --> 00:16:16,795 There's nothing for you to see here. Keep moving. 142 00:16:16,878 --> 00:16:18,714 Where did they find him? 143 00:16:18,797 --> 00:16:20,882 Out there. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 144 00:16:20,966 --> 00:16:24,177 No, I took care of that at the press conference. 145 00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:27,556 It doesn't make sense. Good policeman, bright future... 146 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:29,975 then something like this happens. 147 00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:32,102 He was found by the nightwatchman. 148 00:16:32,185 --> 00:16:34,938 I'm gonna talk to the harbour-master. 149 00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:37,065 I'll walk around and snoop. 150 00:16:42,654 --> 00:16:46,366 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 151 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,036 I remember you. What do you want? 152 00:16:49,119 --> 00:16:52,831 I wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 153 00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:56,293 I don't know. My memory ain't so great. 154 00:16:56,376 --> 00:16:59,379 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 155 00:16:59,463 --> 00:17:01,506 - Still hazy. - How about this? 156 00:17:01,590 --> 00:17:03,759 I remember. Why do you want to know? 157 00:17:03,842 --> 00:17:07,387 - I can't tell you. - Maybe this'll help. 158 00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:11,016 - I don't think I should. - Still don't think so? 159 00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:14,603 - It's Nordberg, he's a cop. - No, he was dealin' 'H'. 160 00:17:14,686 --> 00:17:16,438 - What? - He was dirty! 161 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:19,441 Scum! I ought to run you in right now! 162 00:17:19,524 --> 00:17:23,070 He worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something. 163 00:17:23,153 --> 00:17:26,490 - What are you gonna do about it? - Why should I tell you? 164 00:17:26,573 --> 00:17:29,743 - Maybe this'll help. - I shouldn't tell you. 165 00:17:29,826 --> 00:17:32,287 Can you spot me a 20? How about now? 166 00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:34,539 I'm going down to Ludwig's office. 167 00:17:34,623 --> 00:17:37,250 I'll find out if you're telling the truth. 168 00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:43,423 Vincent Ludwig owned one of the city's largest corporations. 169 00:17:43,507 --> 00:17:46,092 A respected business man and civic leader, 170 00:17:46,176 --> 00:17:49,387 he was to chair the Queen's reception committee. 171 00:17:49,471 --> 00:17:53,725 Now I was about to question him about drugs and attempted murder. 172 00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:02,734 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 173 00:18:02,818 --> 00:18:05,779 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 174 00:18:07,697 --> 00:18:10,283 Show him in. 175 00:18:14,663 --> 00:18:17,749 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 176 00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:21,628 Nice to meet you, too. Cuban? 177 00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:26,216 No, Dutch-lrish. My father was from Wales. 178 00:18:26,299 --> 00:18:27,843 Sit down. 179 00:18:27,926 --> 00:18:31,179 - What a magnificent office. - Thank you, Lieutenant. 180 00:18:31,263 --> 00:18:35,809 Most objects I have collected over a period of many years - 181 00:18:35,892 --> 00:18:40,605 my Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 182 00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:45,652 They are objects which I feel reflect my personality, 183 00:18:45,735 --> 00:18:47,946 Iike the Japanese fighting fish - 184 00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:51,074 beautiful, graceful, elegant... 185 00:18:51,157 --> 00:18:53,410 yet single-minded of purpose 186 00:18:53,493 --> 00:18:57,163 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 187 00:18:57,247 --> 00:19:02,377 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 188 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:05,088 A luxury item, to be certain, 189 00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:09,092 but I am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 190 00:19:09,175 --> 00:19:13,263 Oh, this... This is a rare Samurai pen, 191 00:19:13,346 --> 00:19:16,266 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 192 00:19:16,349 --> 00:19:20,395 Unbreakable. Impervious to everything but water. 193 00:19:20,478 --> 00:19:25,358 - Its value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 194 00:19:25,442 --> 00:19:30,405 But l'm sure you didn't pay this visit for a lecture on fine art. 195 00:19:30,488 --> 00:19:33,158 To what do I owe the honour? 196 00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:37,078 I'm investigating the attempted murder of a dock worker, 197 00:19:38,747 --> 00:19:42,500 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 198 00:19:44,377 --> 00:19:46,421 He is still alive, then? 199 00:19:46,504 --> 00:19:48,882 He was shot six times. 200 00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:52,218 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ. 201 00:19:52,302 --> 00:19:56,014 - The salt water preserved him. - So they... 202 00:19:56,097 --> 00:19:58,600 So they got him to the hospital in time? 203 00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:02,687 He's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 204 00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:06,024 This certainly comes as a shock to me. 205 00:20:06,107 --> 00:20:11,363 As you know, l'm not the kind of man who takes such things lightly. 206 00:20:11,446 --> 00:20:15,366 There is no room in my organisation for criminal activity. 207 00:20:15,450 --> 00:20:19,871 Look out there - a vast commercial development built by me. 208 00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:24,042 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 209 00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:27,587 You bet you do. Orange groves! 210 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:30,757 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 211 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:35,720 But now that land will generate ten times the amount of profit. 212 00:20:37,138 --> 00:20:39,724 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 213 00:20:39,808 --> 00:20:42,143 Let me get you some Kleenex. 214 00:20:42,227 --> 00:20:45,688 Has this officer - 215 00:20:45,772 --> 00:20:47,899 What's his name? Nordberg - 216 00:20:47,982 --> 00:20:52,028 been able to tell you anything? 217 00:20:52,112 --> 00:20:56,616 Well, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 218 00:20:56,699 --> 00:20:59,619 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 219 00:20:59,702 --> 00:21:03,832 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 220 00:21:03,915 --> 00:21:07,377 - Pardon? - I've taken up a lot of your time. 221 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:10,088 I'd like to look at your employment records 222 00:21:10,171 --> 00:21:12,632 and speak to someone in Personnel. 223 00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:14,300 Of course. 224 00:21:14,384 --> 00:21:18,096 - Dominique, send in Miss Spencer. - Yes, sir. 225 00:21:18,179 --> 00:21:22,892 I am quite busy making arrangements for the royal visit, 226 00:21:22,976 --> 00:21:26,896 but I will have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 227 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:30,358 You've been very co-operative. I'll note that in my report. 228 00:21:30,441 --> 00:21:32,277 My pleasure. 229 00:21:35,196 --> 00:21:39,742 Miss Spencer! This is Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad. 230 00:21:40,827 --> 00:21:43,371 Hello...Mr Drebin. 231 00:21:44,205 --> 00:21:45,623 Hello. 232 00:21:53,006 --> 00:21:54,299 Oh! 233 00:22:09,188 --> 00:22:13,359 Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. 234 00:22:14,527 --> 00:22:17,697 She had a full set of curves 235 00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:22,577 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 236 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:26,372 She gave me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. 237 00:22:28,041 --> 00:22:32,295 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 238 00:22:38,009 --> 00:22:41,512 - Nice beaver. - Thank you. 239 00:22:41,596 --> 00:22:45,600 - I just had it stuffed. - Let me help you with that. 240 00:22:47,602 --> 00:22:50,688 This should be what you're looking for - 241 00:22:50,772 --> 00:22:53,524 the shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 242 00:22:53,608 --> 00:22:56,235 Thank you. 243 00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:58,863 I've heard police work is dangerous. 244 00:22:58,946 --> 00:23:01,282 Yes, that's why I carry a big gun. 245 00:23:01,824 --> 00:23:04,202 Couldn't it go off accidentally? 246 00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:06,579 I used to have that problem. 247 00:23:06,662 --> 00:23:08,706 What did you do about it? 248 00:23:08,790 --> 00:23:11,292 I just think about baseball. 249 00:23:13,086 --> 00:23:16,381 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 250 00:23:16,464 --> 00:23:19,258 Did it slip down there again? 251 00:23:19,342 --> 00:23:22,220 Yes, well... I'll quickly go through these 252 00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:24,347 and get them back to you tomorrow. 253 00:23:24,430 --> 00:23:29,102 Fine, but there's no rush. I mean, whenever you're through. 254 00:23:29,185 --> 00:23:33,356 Thank you. I wish there was some way I could repay you. 255 00:23:33,439 --> 00:23:38,653 How about dinner? I know a place that serves great Viking food. 256 00:23:38,736 --> 00:23:42,865 It's tempting, but l'm afraid I must rest this evening, 257 00:23:42,949 --> 00:23:44,992 tomorrow being Arbor Day. 258 00:23:45,076 --> 00:23:47,954 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 259 00:23:48,037 --> 00:23:51,624 - How about a rain check? - Let's just stick to dinner. 260 00:23:51,707 --> 00:23:55,336 Thank you for your help, Miss Spencer. 261 00:23:56,671 --> 00:23:58,714 My pleasure. 262 00:23:58,798 --> 00:24:02,468 - Well? - Mr Ludwig, you startled me! 263 00:24:02,552 --> 00:24:04,428 I'm sorry, my dear. 264 00:24:04,512 --> 00:24:07,682 Did you give the lieutenant what he wanted? 265 00:24:07,765 --> 00:24:10,351 I gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 266 00:24:10,434 --> 00:24:12,478 Good. That's good. 267 00:24:12,562 --> 00:24:17,567 He is an intriguing fellow, don't you think? 268 00:24:17,650 --> 00:24:21,654 Well, I don't know. I've only just met him. 269 00:24:21,737 --> 00:24:23,614 He seems very nice. 270 00:24:23,698 --> 00:24:26,909 Jane, I realise this is an unusual request, 271 00:24:26,993 --> 00:24:30,329 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 272 00:24:30,413 --> 00:24:34,208 I need to know about it, so we can root it out. 273 00:24:34,292 --> 00:24:36,377 That's why I want you to... 274 00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:40,715 well, to get to know Drebin a little better, 275 00:24:40,798 --> 00:24:42,842 find out what he knows. 276 00:24:42,925 --> 00:24:45,720 Wouldn't this be best handled by the police? 277 00:24:45,803 --> 00:24:49,140 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 278 00:24:49,223 --> 00:24:52,310 But we need to know the facts quickly 279 00:24:52,393 --> 00:24:55,521 before anything gets into the newspapers. 280 00:24:55,605 --> 00:25:00,067 Don't forget, I have a responsibility to the stockholders. 281 00:25:00,151 --> 00:25:03,696 Well...if you put it that way... 282 00:25:03,779 --> 00:25:07,700 - Yes, l'll do my best. - That's better. 283 00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:13,664 I'm sure you will. 284 00:25:18,919 --> 00:25:23,257 It was about 4pm when I returned to Police Squad. 285 00:25:23,341 --> 00:25:27,970 I wanted to see what the lab had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 286 00:25:28,054 --> 00:25:30,514 the one they'd found on the docks. 287 00:25:30,598 --> 00:25:34,310 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 288 00:25:34,393 --> 00:25:36,979 I was hoping we wouldn't come up dry. 289 00:25:37,063 --> 00:25:38,689 Hey, look out! 290 00:25:40,941 --> 00:25:42,693 Police! Halt! 291 00:25:51,619 --> 00:25:54,497 Anybody catch the licence plate? 292 00:25:54,914 --> 00:25:58,000 Anybody get a look at the driver? 293 00:26:01,420 --> 00:26:04,715 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 294 00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:08,594 I've got to get...inside. 295 00:26:15,351 --> 00:26:18,729 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 296 00:26:18,813 --> 00:26:20,898 - We got some action here. - What? 297 00:26:20,981 --> 00:26:23,442 We're testing our anti-graffiti wall. 298 00:26:23,526 --> 00:26:25,403 We've got customers. 299 00:26:25,486 --> 00:26:29,198 It reacts when the spray hits the sensors. 300 00:26:32,451 --> 00:26:34,703 You've done it again - mazel tov! 301 00:26:34,787 --> 00:26:37,581 Good work. What will you think of next? 302 00:26:37,665 --> 00:26:39,708 Now that you mention it, 303 00:26:39,792 --> 00:26:42,670 here's something we developed only yesterday. 304 00:26:42,753 --> 00:26:45,589 To the casual observer - an ordinary shoe. 305 00:26:45,673 --> 00:26:49,593 But in actuality... it makes a handy weapon. 306 00:26:49,677 --> 00:26:52,930 And everything a cop would need. 307 00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:55,099 We call it the Swiss Army Shoe. 308 00:26:55,182 --> 00:26:59,770 - Great. And the fibre samples? - Just one more thing. 309 00:26:59,854 --> 00:27:02,148 See these cufflinks l'm wearing? 310 00:27:02,231 --> 00:27:06,902 They're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 311 00:27:06,986 --> 00:27:10,072 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes. 312 00:27:10,156 --> 00:27:12,408 Let me demonstrate on Ed. 313 00:27:14,368 --> 00:27:17,079 Ted! Why? 314 00:27:18,998 --> 00:27:22,084 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 315 00:27:22,168 --> 00:27:26,297 - Why don't you take a pair? - Actually, I could use another pair. 316 00:27:26,380 --> 00:27:28,257 I think you'll like them. 317 00:27:28,340 --> 00:27:31,093 - Want this, chief? - Thank you, Al. 318 00:27:31,177 --> 00:27:34,263 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 319 00:27:34,346 --> 00:27:36,891 No, no. The other side. 320 00:27:36,974 --> 00:27:41,687 As you requested, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 321 00:27:41,770 --> 00:27:44,190 I'm afraid it doesn't look good. 322 00:27:44,273 --> 00:27:47,776 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 323 00:27:50,362 --> 00:27:54,283 - I can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 324 00:27:54,992 --> 00:27:57,036 Yeah, I can see it now. 325 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,706 At first, it appears to be the normal cotton fibres. 326 00:28:00,789 --> 00:28:03,500 But we discovered a fine white powder. 327 00:28:05,002 --> 00:28:07,338 Pure heroin. 328 00:28:07,421 --> 00:28:10,507 How well do you know Nordberg? 329 00:28:10,591 --> 00:28:14,178 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 330 00:28:14,261 --> 00:28:17,681 We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 331 00:28:17,765 --> 00:28:22,519 - Are you saying that Nordberg...? - The Queen arrives in two days. 332 00:28:22,603 --> 00:28:25,147 If the press should pick this up, 333 00:28:25,230 --> 00:28:28,317 it could be embarrassing for the police and the city. 334 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,655 I'm sorry, Frank. I'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 335 00:28:43,165 --> 00:28:45,209 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 336 00:28:45,292 --> 00:28:49,922 - A Mr Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 337 00:28:57,137 --> 00:29:00,224 Is there something wrong, Mr Ludwig? 338 00:29:00,307 --> 00:29:02,059 No, it's nothing. 339 00:29:02,142 --> 00:29:06,397 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Have a seat. 340 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,608 I can carry out your request. 341 00:29:09,692 --> 00:29:13,946 - My price is $20 million. - Your price is not a problem. 342 00:29:15,614 --> 00:29:19,368 But there is concern on the part of those I represent, 343 00:29:19,451 --> 00:29:25,249 that you would be able to... complete so difficult a task. 344 00:29:25,332 --> 00:29:27,710 Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir, 345 00:29:27,793 --> 00:29:33,382 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 346 00:29:33,465 --> 00:29:38,971 I would think anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. 347 00:29:39,054 --> 00:29:44,017 Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin. 348 00:29:46,103 --> 00:29:50,357 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 349 00:29:50,441 --> 00:29:53,110 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 350 00:29:53,193 --> 00:29:56,321 Dominique, service for two, please. 351 00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:10,586 I must kill Pahpshmir. 352 00:30:18,594 --> 00:30:22,347 - Cream and sugar, sir? - Mr Pahpshmir? 353 00:30:26,059 --> 00:30:28,228 Cream only, please. 354 00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:34,109 - There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it. It's all right. 355 00:30:34,193 --> 00:30:37,446 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 356 00:30:39,406 --> 00:30:43,952 Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 357 00:30:44,036 --> 00:30:46,079 I think I just have. 358 00:30:46,163 --> 00:30:48,916 How will she get near the target? 359 00:30:48,999 --> 00:30:52,961 Oh, I doubt whether it will be her. 360 00:30:53,045 --> 00:30:56,757 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 361 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,468 And it seems to me... 362 00:31:00,719 --> 00:31:04,097 anyone...can be an assassin. 363 00:31:07,559 --> 00:31:12,230 I had 24 hours to find something to clear my friend's name. 364 00:31:12,314 --> 00:31:15,275 I returned to the hospital with Ludwig's records 365 00:31:15,359 --> 00:31:17,861 to try to jog Nordberg's memory. 366 00:31:17,945 --> 00:31:21,657 Doctor, I have the chart, if you're ready to go over it. 367 00:31:21,740 --> 00:31:24,868 I'll be with you when l've finished with Mr Nordberg. 368 00:31:24,952 --> 00:31:27,037 Yes, Doctor. 369 00:31:32,584 --> 00:31:35,253 You'll be out of here in a couple of... 370 00:31:41,301 --> 00:31:45,097 - I'd like to see Officer Nordberg. - Sign in, please. 371 00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:48,517 Wait a minute! Where's the police guard? 372 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,562 - Drebin called and sent him home. - Drebin? 373 00:31:52,646 --> 00:31:58,276 I must kill Nordberg. I must kill Nordberg. 374 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,613 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 375 00:32:31,059 --> 00:32:33,937 Medical emergency! 376 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,114 Drebin, Police Squad. Follow that black car! 377 00:32:45,949 --> 00:32:48,118 The car! Follow that car! 378 00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:51,830 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 379 00:32:51,913 --> 00:32:54,374 Now pull into traffic. 380 00:32:57,544 --> 00:32:59,713 Try and ease off on the brake. 381 00:33:01,965 --> 00:33:06,011 - Give it a little gas. - I know a short cut. Turn left here! 382 00:33:09,347 --> 00:33:11,725 - There he is! - Easy! 383 00:33:26,823 --> 00:33:28,575 Turn right! Follow him! 384 00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:32,579 It's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 385 00:33:32,662 --> 00:33:35,749 down the wrong way of a one-way street. 386 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,711 Apply the brakes. 387 00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:42,505 Now put it in reverse. 388 00:33:50,013 --> 00:33:52,432 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie... 389 00:33:52,515 --> 00:33:54,726 Gently extend your arm. 390 00:33:56,436 --> 00:33:59,898 Extend your middle finger. 391 00:34:02,651 --> 00:34:05,737 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 392 00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:08,281 Go for it, Stephanie! 393 00:34:53,451 --> 00:34:55,370 Excuse me. Excuse me. 394 00:34:55,453 --> 00:34:58,915 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 395 00:34:58,999 --> 00:35:01,459 Please disperse! 396 00:35:01,543 --> 00:35:04,087 Nothing to see here. Please! 397 00:35:06,464 --> 00:35:11,011 The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 398 00:35:11,094 --> 00:35:13,972 The questions kept coming up again and again, 399 00:35:14,055 --> 00:35:16,141 Iike bubbles in a case of soda. 400 00:35:17,183 --> 00:35:19,561 Who was this character in the hospital? 401 00:35:19,644 --> 00:35:23,481 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg...and for whom? 402 00:35:23,565 --> 00:35:27,485 Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, 403 00:35:27,569 --> 00:35:30,155 but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him. 404 00:35:30,238 --> 00:35:34,033 Why was the 'I Luv You' not listed in Ludwig's records? 405 00:35:34,117 --> 00:35:36,870 If it was, did he know about it? 406 00:35:36,953 --> 00:35:39,205 If he didn't, who did? 407 00:35:39,289 --> 00:35:41,499 And where the hell was l? 408 00:35:44,461 --> 00:35:47,088 It was almost midnight when I got home. 409 00:35:47,172 --> 00:35:49,924 I just wanted to slip under my blankets, 410 00:35:50,008 --> 00:35:53,428 but my night was just about to begin. 411 00:36:32,217 --> 00:36:34,677 You're late. 412 00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:38,515 That depends on what l'm late for. 413 00:36:38,598 --> 00:36:41,684 You said we should have dinner some time. 414 00:36:41,768 --> 00:36:44,646 Tonight became 'some time'. 415 00:36:46,105 --> 00:36:48,274 I'm boiling a roast. 416 00:36:50,527 --> 00:36:53,029 How hot and wet do you like it? 417 00:36:53,112 --> 00:36:58,368 Very hot and awfully wet. 418 00:36:58,451 --> 00:37:02,205 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 419 00:37:02,288 --> 00:37:05,750 I'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 420 00:37:05,833 --> 00:37:08,169 That shirt looks familiar. 421 00:37:08,253 --> 00:37:12,507 It's yours. I didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 422 00:37:12,590 --> 00:37:15,593 At least...not yet. 423 00:37:18,846 --> 00:37:22,892 Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable? 424 00:37:29,232 --> 00:37:31,734 There. That's better. 425 00:37:33,903 --> 00:37:36,948 I hope you've brought your appetite. 426 00:37:37,031 --> 00:37:38,908 I've brought everything. 427 00:37:38,992 --> 00:37:41,619 Well, then, dig in. 428 00:37:46,416 --> 00:37:50,962 Interesting. Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. 429 00:37:51,045 --> 00:37:53,423 I was young. I needed the work. 430 00:37:53,506 --> 00:37:56,634 No, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 431 00:37:56,718 --> 00:38:00,972 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. It wasn't on Ludwig's records. 432 00:38:01,055 --> 00:38:03,349 Probably an oversight. 433 00:38:03,433 --> 00:38:06,769 How is your...meat? 434 00:38:09,814 --> 00:38:11,899 You be the judge of that. 435 00:38:15,570 --> 00:38:16,988 Mmm... 436 00:38:19,782 --> 00:38:22,243 I've got nine more. 437 00:38:27,165 --> 00:38:29,834 - Have you seen that ship? - I don't know. 438 00:38:29,917 --> 00:38:33,755 It doesn't look like ours, but we deal with so many ships. 439 00:38:33,838 --> 00:38:36,758 Has Officer Nordberg told you anything? 440 00:38:36,841 --> 00:38:40,887 No, there's been another attempt on his life. He's in a coma. 441 00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:45,266 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 442 00:38:45,349 --> 00:38:48,060 If it wasn't, l'd be out of a job, 443 00:38:48,144 --> 00:38:52,857 but l'd give it up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 444 00:38:54,066 --> 00:38:56,110 That's beautiful. 445 00:38:59,322 --> 00:39:02,158 This is all happening too fast. 446 00:39:04,911 --> 00:39:08,581 - I've been hurt before. - I'm sorry. 447 00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:13,127 I'd known her for years. 448 00:39:13,211 --> 00:39:16,589 We used to go to all the police functions together. 449 00:39:16,672 --> 00:39:19,884 How I loved her, but she had her music. 450 00:39:19,967 --> 00:39:22,762 I think she had her music. 451 00:39:22,845 --> 00:39:26,641 She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 452 00:39:26,724 --> 00:39:30,770 I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to sing. 453 00:39:30,853 --> 00:39:33,815 Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. 454 00:39:33,898 --> 00:39:38,986 I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was. 455 00:39:41,405 --> 00:39:43,866 It's the same old story. Boy finds girl. 456 00:39:43,950 --> 00:39:46,619 Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. 457 00:39:46,702 --> 00:39:49,789 Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. 458 00:39:49,872 --> 00:39:52,124 Girl dies in a blimp accident 459 00:39:52,208 --> 00:39:55,086 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 460 00:39:55,169 --> 00:39:58,256 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 461 00:39:58,339 --> 00:40:00,091 Poor dear! 462 00:40:03,469 --> 00:40:06,889 Now, now. I don't want to upset you. 463 00:40:06,973 --> 00:40:09,976 Frank, it's not that. 464 00:40:10,059 --> 00:40:12,478 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 465 00:40:14,021 --> 00:40:18,818 - There's something I must tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 466 00:40:18,901 --> 00:40:21,821 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 467 00:40:21,904 --> 00:40:23,322 Maybe... 468 00:40:23,406 --> 00:40:28,369 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 469 00:40:32,248 --> 00:40:34,667 Funny-face! 470 00:40:52,435 --> 00:40:56,105 I want you to know... I practise safe sex. 471 00:40:56,188 --> 00:40:57,940 So do l. 472 00:42:31,784 --> 00:42:36,330 I had a wonderful day, Frank. I can't believe we just met yesterday. 473 00:42:37,206 --> 00:42:40,292 You really mean that? You're not just saying it, 474 00:42:40,376 --> 00:42:42,837 because we exchanged bodily fluids? 475 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,298 No, I really mean it. You're very special. 476 00:42:46,382 --> 00:42:50,719 - Can I interest you in a nightcap? - No, thanks, I don't wear them. 477 00:42:50,803 --> 00:42:53,138 Actually, l'm on stake-out tonight. 478 00:42:53,222 --> 00:42:57,142 I'll be thinking about you. I'll call you tomorrow. 479 00:42:58,394 --> 00:42:59,937 OK. 480 00:43:06,443 --> 00:43:08,487 Good night! 481 00:43:18,831 --> 00:43:21,917 The answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 482 00:43:22,001 --> 00:43:24,962 Call it what you will - a hunch, women's intuition. 483 00:43:25,045 --> 00:43:27,256 Ludwig knows more than he's saying. 484 00:43:27,339 --> 00:43:31,343 A hunch won't stand up in court. Where are your hard facts? 485 00:43:31,427 --> 00:43:35,306 He's the only one except us who knew Nordberg was still alive. 486 00:43:35,389 --> 00:43:39,852 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock him off. 487 00:43:39,935 --> 00:43:44,898 Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 488 00:43:44,982 --> 00:43:48,444 I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, 489 00:43:48,527 --> 00:43:51,655 crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan. 490 00:43:51,739 --> 00:43:53,782 There he is! 491 00:43:57,536 --> 00:44:00,748 Just trust me on this, Ed. I know l'm right. 492 00:44:00,831 --> 00:44:02,791 OK, but be careful. 493 00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:05,961 Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. 494 00:44:57,679 --> 00:44:59,723 Bingo! 495 00:45:46,395 --> 00:45:49,481 '20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Zurich, 496 00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:51,775 'upon proof of Queen's death.' 497 00:48:14,209 --> 00:48:16,461 Destroying property, arson... 498 00:48:16,545 --> 00:48:19,673 sexual assault with a concrete dildo?! 499 00:48:19,756 --> 00:48:22,592 What the hell were you doing there? 500 00:48:22,676 --> 00:48:24,761 I'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 501 00:48:24,845 --> 00:48:29,099 but we believe Ludwig is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 502 00:48:29,182 --> 00:48:32,978 That's ridiculous! Where is this 'evidence'? 503 00:48:33,061 --> 00:48:37,023 Well...it...burned in the f-fire. 504 00:48:37,107 --> 00:48:38,775 Gentlemen, 505 00:48:38,859 --> 00:48:43,238 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 506 00:48:43,321 --> 00:48:48,076 If we're very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 507 00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,829 - Your Honour! - Did I make myself clear? 508 00:48:50,912 --> 00:48:53,540 Yes, Your Honour. Good day. 509 00:48:55,834 --> 00:48:57,878 Drebin! 510 00:48:57,961 --> 00:49:04,259 I don't want any more trouble like you had last year. That's my policy. 511 00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:09,598 When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in a park, 512 00:49:09,681 --> 00:49:12,767 I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 513 00:49:12,851 --> 00:49:19,691 That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of 'Julius Caesar'! 514 00:49:19,774 --> 00:49:24,446 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 515 00:49:24,529 --> 00:49:28,867 Your presence at the Queen's reception tonight is not necessary. 516 00:49:28,950 --> 00:49:30,911 Is that understood? 517 00:49:30,994 --> 00:49:34,080 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 518 00:49:57,062 --> 00:49:59,689 The plane has taxied to a stop. 519 00:49:59,773 --> 00:50:02,776 Any minute now we expect the doors to open 520 00:50:02,859 --> 00:50:05,445 and we'll get a glimpse of the Queen, 521 00:50:05,528 --> 00:50:09,574 as she begins her first visit to Los Angeles in five years. 522 00:50:09,658 --> 00:50:13,203 It's a balmy, beautiful evening too. 523 00:50:13,286 --> 00:50:16,706 She's going from here to a formal reception... 524 00:50:23,338 --> 00:50:25,173 - Jane! - Frank! 525 00:50:27,300 --> 00:50:30,387 I'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 526 00:50:30,470 --> 00:50:32,514 Maybe just a bite. 527 00:50:32,597 --> 00:50:35,683 Ludwig wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 528 00:50:35,767 --> 00:50:40,355 There is something you should know. I was in his place last night. 529 00:50:40,438 --> 00:50:45,276 How nice! Did he show you his Ming vases and rare oil paintings? 530 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:49,697 Jane, I think that he's involved in a number of criminal activities. 531 00:50:49,781 --> 00:50:51,825 Frank, stop it! 532 00:50:51,908 --> 00:50:55,245 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 533 00:50:55,328 --> 00:50:58,581 - You don't know him like I do. - How's that? 534 00:50:58,665 --> 00:51:04,129 - What's that supposed to mean? - I'm sorry. I'm worried about you. 535 00:51:04,212 --> 00:51:08,341 I don't trust him and I don't want you mixed up in anything dangerous. 536 00:51:08,425 --> 00:51:11,678 Are Woo back in business? They closed down three years ago. 537 00:51:11,761 --> 00:51:16,808 Gee, has it been that long? I don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 538 00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:23,231 It's sweet of you to be concerned, but you're wrong about Vincent. 539 00:51:23,314 --> 00:51:27,110 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 540 00:51:27,193 --> 00:51:29,237 He just wants to talk with you 541 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,574 to clear up any doubts you might have. 542 00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:34,742 - When? - Tonight. 543 00:51:34,826 --> 00:51:37,704 Meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 544 00:51:37,787 --> 00:51:40,665 All right, but promise you'll be careful. 545 00:51:40,748 --> 00:51:44,377 Of course I will, funny-face, for you. 546 00:51:45,628 --> 00:51:48,423 I've got to go. See you tomorrow. 547 00:51:48,506 --> 00:51:52,343 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 548 00:52:17,493 --> 00:52:19,746 Ludwig? 549 00:52:19,829 --> 00:52:22,916 - Drebin? - Yeah, l'm Drebin. 550 00:52:22,999 --> 00:52:26,753 I have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig. 551 00:52:29,672 --> 00:52:31,716 I'm sorry, I can't hear you! 552 00:52:31,799 --> 00:52:34,802 Don't fire the gun while you're talking. 553 00:52:57,325 --> 00:53:02,163 All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 554 00:53:35,863 --> 00:53:38,616 Matthews, stake out that end, 555 00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:42,787 and card-check for anyone suspicious looking. 556 00:53:42,870 --> 00:53:44,956 Frank, what are you doing here? 557 00:53:45,039 --> 00:53:48,835 I've been trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 558 00:53:48,918 --> 00:53:52,630 They're planning to do her tonight, here. 559 00:53:52,714 --> 00:53:57,677 - We better be on the lookout. - Excuse me, ma'am, security. 560 00:53:59,512 --> 00:54:04,225 - What's the meaning of this? - Relax! Nothing will happen. 561 00:54:04,308 --> 00:54:07,395 - I didn't do anything. - Yeah? What about this? 562 00:54:07,478 --> 00:54:11,816 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 563 00:54:11,899 --> 00:54:13,484 I got rights! 564 00:54:13,568 --> 00:54:16,821 Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 565 00:54:16,904 --> 00:54:18,948 Ethel! 566 00:54:20,533 --> 00:54:23,202 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 567 00:54:23,286 --> 00:54:26,664 That's all right, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 568 00:54:37,467 --> 00:54:39,510 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 569 00:54:39,594 --> 00:54:44,223 I'm so excited to be here. I appreciate your inviting me. 570 00:54:44,307 --> 00:54:48,144 Pleasure's all mine. Perhaps afterwards we can... 571 00:54:50,354 --> 00:54:52,190 - Drebin! - Frank! 572 00:54:52,273 --> 00:54:55,401 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig? 573 00:54:55,484 --> 00:54:58,404 This is not the time or place to talk. 574 00:54:58,487 --> 00:55:01,073 It's way past the time we talked. 575 00:55:01,157 --> 00:55:03,618 The gloves are off, l'm playing hardball. 576 00:55:03,701 --> 00:55:07,997 It's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 577 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:12,043 Mr Drebin! lf you have evidence, then use it. 578 00:55:12,126 --> 00:55:16,088 If not, I am warning you - get off my back! 579 00:55:16,172 --> 00:55:18,216 Or it will cost you dearly. 580 00:55:20,968 --> 00:55:25,181 - Frank, what's wrong? - A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 581 00:55:25,264 --> 00:55:28,976 A meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 582 00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:32,313 set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin. 583 00:55:32,396 --> 00:55:35,191 Funny-face, what are you talking about? 584 00:55:35,274 --> 00:55:39,320 My stockyard meeting, butter-wings. Don't you remember setting that up? 585 00:55:39,403 --> 00:55:42,573 Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off! Believe me! 586 00:55:42,657 --> 00:55:44,992 Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps! 587 00:55:45,076 --> 00:55:47,828 Frank, it's the truth! 588 00:55:47,912 --> 00:55:51,874 Cops and women don't mix. Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 589 00:55:51,958 --> 00:55:55,795 It'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 590 00:55:55,878 --> 00:55:57,922 Too bad, sugar-puff. 591 00:55:59,340 --> 00:56:02,093 We could have been something. 592 00:56:02,176 --> 00:56:04,845 I only did what I was told to do! 593 00:56:04,929 --> 00:56:07,264 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 594 00:56:08,975 --> 00:56:11,185 That makes things easier, Princess. 595 00:56:11,268 --> 00:56:14,605 To think I trusted you! I made a big mistake. 596 00:56:14,689 --> 00:56:18,275 - You can take this back. - Whose is that? 597 00:56:20,361 --> 00:56:24,573 Doesn't matter. Take care of yourself, baby. 598 00:56:25,950 --> 00:56:27,868 By the way... 599 00:56:27,952 --> 00:56:29,912 I faked every orgasm. 600 00:56:30,871 --> 00:56:32,915 Funny-face! 601 00:56:33,708 --> 00:56:36,252 And to commemorate our friendship, 602 00:56:36,335 --> 00:56:40,881 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 603 00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:47,096 this Revolutionary War musket, donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig. 604 00:56:48,431 --> 00:56:51,642 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 605 00:56:51,726 --> 00:56:54,562 Queen Elizabeth ll! 606 00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:34,477 It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 607 00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,188 What is journalism coming to? 608 00:57:37,271 --> 00:57:40,900 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 609 00:57:40,983 --> 00:57:42,568 and they call that news! 610 00:57:42,693 --> 00:57:46,197 They can't kick you off the Force, it's not fair. 611 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,158 I know. Life isn't always fair. 612 00:57:49,241 --> 00:57:54,663 Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. 613 00:57:54,747 --> 00:57:56,874 Hey, look at that! 614 00:57:56,957 --> 00:58:02,087 The missing evidence in the Kilner case! My God, he WAS innocent! 615 00:58:02,171 --> 00:58:05,466 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 616 00:58:05,549 --> 00:58:08,928 Well...what's the use? 617 00:58:09,011 --> 00:58:12,097 What good are these damn awards and citations? 618 00:58:12,181 --> 00:58:13,807 Frank... 619 00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,435 Frank, that's not your desk! 620 00:58:16,518 --> 00:58:19,855 Frank! l've been looking all over for you! 621 00:58:19,939 --> 00:58:23,025 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 622 00:58:23,108 --> 00:58:26,695 I tried to call last night. I went by your place. Where were you? 623 00:58:26,779 --> 00:58:29,198 I was out walking. All night. 624 00:58:29,281 --> 00:58:32,284 Listen to me! I have important information. 625 00:58:32,368 --> 00:58:36,121 There was never anything between Vincent and me. 626 00:58:36,205 --> 00:58:39,583 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 627 00:58:39,667 --> 00:58:41,835 I like cops. 628 00:58:41,919 --> 00:58:45,798 - All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 629 00:58:46,924 --> 00:58:49,843 - What've you got? - I overheard Ludwig. 630 00:58:49,927 --> 00:58:55,057 You were right. He is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 631 00:58:55,140 --> 00:58:57,518 - Where? - At the baseball game. 632 00:58:57,601 --> 00:59:01,021 The Queen will be there as Ludwig's guest. 633 00:59:01,105 --> 00:59:05,234 Is Ludwig going to shoot her in front of 60,000 fans? 634 00:59:05,317 --> 00:59:08,112 No, a player, during the 7th inning stretch. 635 00:59:08,195 --> 00:59:11,031 - It starts in 20 minutes. - I'll go. 636 00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:14,118 - I'll go with you. - Stay with Ludwig 637 00:59:14,201 --> 00:59:17,454 - to allay suspicion. - OK, let's go! 638 00:59:17,538 --> 00:59:19,331 Wait! Wait! 639 00:59:19,415 --> 00:59:23,502 I've gotten you into enough trouble already. I'll go alone. 640 00:59:23,585 --> 00:59:28,507 No! This'll get you back on the Force. We're right behind you. 641 00:59:31,343 --> 00:59:35,597 Frank? I wanted you to know now, 642 00:59:35,681 --> 00:59:39,977 I've loved you since the first day I met you, and l'll never stop. 643 00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:42,104 I'm a very lucky woman. 644 00:59:42,688 --> 00:59:44,106 So am l. 645 00:59:52,448 --> 00:59:56,952 Good afternoon. We're coming live from the Big A, 646 00:59:57,035 --> 01:00:00,205 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 647 01:00:00,289 --> 01:00:04,626 in their showdown for the Division League. 648 01:00:04,710 --> 01:00:08,464 Hello! l'm Curt Gowdy, along with Jim Palmer, 649 01:00:08,547 --> 01:00:11,633 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 650 01:00:11,717 --> 01:00:14,928 Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers. 651 01:00:15,012 --> 01:00:17,765 Join us for this all-important ball game. 652 01:00:17,848 --> 01:00:19,600 And a special game it is. 653 01:00:19,683 --> 01:00:23,520 As we know, it is being attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. 654 01:00:23,604 --> 01:00:26,273 I'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim. 655 01:00:27,357 --> 01:00:29,443 We've got all the exits covered. 656 01:00:29,526 --> 01:00:31,612 I ought to arrest Ludwig right now. 657 01:00:31,695 --> 01:00:35,574 No, we've got to let him make the first move. 658 01:00:35,657 --> 01:00:39,369 The Mayor would have you arrested. You've got to stay out of sight. 659 01:00:39,453 --> 01:00:42,122 I've got to get that assassin. 660 01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,374 It could be any of those players. 661 01:00:44,458 --> 01:00:48,003 I've got to get down on that field and search those players. 662 01:00:48,086 --> 01:00:51,632 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and welcome 663 01:00:51,715 --> 01:00:54,301 Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll! 664 01:01:03,018 --> 01:01:05,062 One moment. 665 01:01:07,105 --> 01:01:10,067 Over there - these seats are taken. 666 01:01:25,624 --> 01:01:29,169 My dear, is something bothering you? 667 01:01:29,253 --> 01:01:30,963 No, why do you ask? 668 01:01:31,046 --> 01:01:35,259 You haven't said a word. You seem...nervous. 669 01:01:35,342 --> 01:01:40,013 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 670 01:01:40,097 --> 01:01:43,684 Why he not here now? I do not like to wait for him. 671 01:01:43,767 --> 01:01:49,564 Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes. Please wait. 672 01:01:49,648 --> 01:01:54,027 - He should be here now! - I'll send him right over. 673 01:01:54,111 --> 01:01:57,197 I do not wait for him! He waits for me! 674 01:02:01,868 --> 01:02:04,329 - Yes? - Mr Pallazzo? 675 01:02:04,413 --> 01:02:08,125 I am the head usher. I am here to... Excuse me. 676 01:02:13,797 --> 01:02:17,259 - Mr Pallazzo? - Yes? 677 01:02:17,342 --> 01:02:21,346 - I am the head usher. - One second. 678 01:02:21,430 --> 01:02:22,931 Ladies and gentlemen, 679 01:02:23,015 --> 01:02:27,352 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 680 01:02:27,436 --> 01:02:29,855 on the occasion of the royal visit, 681 01:02:29,938 --> 01:02:33,442 please welcome internationally-renowned opera star, 682 01:02:33,525 --> 01:02:35,944 Enrico Pallazzo! 683 01:02:38,864 --> 01:02:42,367 Ladies and gentlemen, let us honour America, 684 01:02:42,451 --> 01:02:48,415 as Mr Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 685 01:04:10,038 --> 01:04:14,125 And now we'll wait for the exchange of line-ups 686 01:04:14,209 --> 01:04:16,503 and the start of today's ball game. 687 01:04:24,970 --> 01:04:29,724 Excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 688 01:04:33,019 --> 01:04:36,606 The Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd! 689 01:04:36,690 --> 01:04:40,986 And the fans are being entertained by the stadium's Angel Vision, 690 01:04:41,069 --> 01:04:44,948 showing some unusual moments in baseball over the years! 691 01:05:05,218 --> 01:05:07,262 Sorry, fellas! 692 01:05:35,123 --> 01:05:37,417 How about that? 693 01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:40,962 Ladies and gentlemen, 694 01:05:41,046 --> 01:05:45,592 now taking the field - your California Angels! 695 01:05:52,432 --> 01:05:55,518 For everybody's safety, 696 01:05:55,602 --> 01:05:59,856 we ask that you do not throw any objects on the field. 697 01:05:59,939 --> 01:06:02,442 We thank you for your co-operation. 698 01:06:05,111 --> 01:06:09,657 As the Angels take the field, we're ready for the first pitch ceremony 699 01:06:09,741 --> 01:06:13,745 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 700 01:06:17,165 --> 01:06:21,252 How about that? Let's have a round of applause! 701 01:06:21,336 --> 01:06:23,755 We're ready for the start, 702 01:06:23,838 --> 01:06:26,800 as these lovely ladies would agree. 703 01:06:26,883 --> 01:06:30,428 Those are the players' wives, here to enjoy the game. 704 01:06:38,394 --> 01:06:41,564 What d'you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 705 01:06:41,648 --> 01:06:43,274 Do what? 706 01:06:43,358 --> 01:06:45,151 Play ball! 707 01:06:48,279 --> 01:06:51,241 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 708 01:06:56,204 --> 01:07:00,667 The game's under way. Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay Johnstone! 709 01:07:20,061 --> 01:07:23,231 - Nothing to report. - Don't worry, Al. 710 01:07:23,314 --> 01:07:26,776 If one of the players is the killer, Frank'll find him, 711 01:07:26,860 --> 01:07:30,113 even if he has to search every one of them. 712 01:07:30,196 --> 01:07:33,575 ..lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone. 713 01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:37,662 Hello, pal. Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 714 01:07:37,745 --> 01:07:42,625 Good here. Now let's see the shirt. You should take a large. 715 01:07:42,709 --> 01:07:45,837 It's a little tight in the crotch. 716 01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:48,339 All right? All set? 717 01:07:50,592 --> 01:07:53,177 OK, play ball! 718 01:08:21,706 --> 01:08:23,666 Strike? 719 01:08:27,003 --> 01:08:29,297 Yeah, strike! 720 01:08:42,226 --> 01:08:46,397 Stee-rike two! 721 01:09:01,496 --> 01:09:06,834 Stee-rike three! 722 01:09:56,592 --> 01:09:58,427 You're clean! 723 01:11:49,163 --> 01:11:50,748 Have you found him yet? 724 01:11:50,831 --> 01:11:53,417 No, and l've searched almost everybody. 725 01:11:53,501 --> 01:11:57,671 Yeah. There's only one more out before the seventh inning stretch. 726 01:11:57,755 --> 01:12:02,259 You're going to have to stall them. Don't let 'em get that third out. 727 01:12:02,343 --> 01:12:04,011 Right. 728 01:12:05,596 --> 01:12:11,519 The Mariners' number four - Armando Criscione! Criscione! 729 01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:21,695 - Ball! - Ball? 730 01:12:32,123 --> 01:12:33,749 Ball! 731 01:12:45,010 --> 01:12:47,680 Get...get...what the...? Get off! 732 01:12:48,764 --> 01:12:50,808 Catch it! Catch it! 733 01:12:55,271 --> 01:12:57,356 - Get 'em off! - Go, go, go! 734 01:13:01,610 --> 01:13:04,238 - Safe! - What do you mean, safe? 735 01:13:04,321 --> 01:13:06,448 I don't believe it! 736 01:13:08,534 --> 01:13:10,369 Second base! On two! 737 01:13:11,537 --> 01:13:13,622 There's a throw by the catcher 738 01:13:13,706 --> 01:13:17,126 and now they've got Criscione hung up between 1st and 2nd! 739 01:13:17,209 --> 01:13:19,336 What the hell are you doing? 740 01:13:19,420 --> 01:13:20,588 What? 741 01:13:20,671 --> 01:13:25,467 - You're not supposed to do that! - Wait a minute! Stop that! 742 01:13:25,551 --> 01:13:28,262 Put that back down! Give me the ball! 743 01:13:30,890 --> 01:13:32,516 I'll get you! 744 01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,894 It's hard to believe, 745 01:13:34,977 --> 01:13:38,689 but apparently the umpires have got Criscione in a run-down! 746 01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,152 - Safe! - Safe? 747 01:13:43,235 --> 01:13:44,653 How about that? 748 01:13:44,737 --> 01:13:46,572 - Out! - Safe! 749 01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:48,657 - Out! - He was safe! 750 01:13:48,741 --> 01:13:49,950 - Out! - Safe! 751 01:13:50,034 --> 01:13:52,536 There's a sight l've never seen! 752 01:13:54,288 --> 01:13:56,248 - Safe! - What are you doing? 753 01:13:56,332 --> 01:13:57,875 Safe! Safe! Safe! 754 01:13:57,958 --> 01:14:00,753 - He was out! - He was safe! 755 01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:03,631 You idiot! He was out! 756 01:14:03,714 --> 01:14:06,091 All right, you're out of here! 757 01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:09,261 - What? - You can't throw an umpire out! 758 01:14:09,345 --> 01:14:11,889 All right, YOU'RE out! 759 01:14:12,973 --> 01:14:17,144 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 760 01:14:17,227 --> 01:14:20,564 And he's up in the mezzanine! 761 01:14:20,648 --> 01:14:22,066 It's the third out! 762 01:14:39,416 --> 01:14:42,544 I must kill...the Queen. 763 01:14:47,216 --> 01:14:49,802 I must kill...the Queen. 764 01:14:52,513 --> 01:14:54,556 Frank, it's the right-fielder! 765 01:15:00,854 --> 01:15:04,608 - You're the boss! - It was safe. 766 01:15:04,691 --> 01:15:07,277 Now, we're going to take a walk. 767 01:15:07,653 --> 01:15:10,531 How could you do something so vicious? 768 01:15:10,614 --> 01:15:15,494 It was easy. Don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor. 769 01:15:15,577 --> 01:15:17,830 Now, let's go quietly. 770 01:15:22,334 --> 01:15:24,420 Hey, look at that! Let's get him! 771 01:15:35,681 --> 01:15:37,891 Kick him in the balls! 772 01:16:10,883 --> 01:16:13,886 I must kill...the Queen. 773 01:16:24,980 --> 01:16:26,815 Look out! 774 01:16:31,820 --> 01:16:36,158 The umpire... He saved the Queen's life! 775 01:16:36,241 --> 01:16:38,285 That's not the umpire, Your Honour. 776 01:16:42,456 --> 01:16:44,499 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 777 01:16:55,469 --> 01:16:58,555 Frank! Frank, help! 778 01:16:58,639 --> 01:17:01,642 Frank! Frank, help! Frank! 779 01:17:16,406 --> 01:17:18,325 Hold it, Ludwig! 780 01:17:18,408 --> 01:17:20,786 Stay where you are! 781 01:17:20,869 --> 01:17:23,330 - He's got a gun! - I know. 782 01:17:23,413 --> 01:17:27,125 You ruined my life. Now l'm going to ruin yours. 783 01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:30,212 - Leave the girl alone! - I am. I'm going to kill you. 784 01:17:30,295 --> 01:17:32,339 I see. 785 01:17:35,759 --> 01:17:37,969 Two can play at that game! 786 01:17:44,518 --> 01:17:47,396 - You killed him! - No, just stunned. 787 01:17:47,479 --> 01:17:49,439 He'll be all right. 788 01:17:55,821 --> 01:17:57,656 Well... 789 01:18:23,098 --> 01:18:26,184 Frank...it's horrible! 790 01:18:27,394 --> 01:18:31,523 - It's so horrible! - I know, Ed. 791 01:18:32,149 --> 01:18:34,192 My father went the same way. 792 01:18:49,875 --> 01:18:54,087 I must kill...Frank Drebin. 793 01:18:54,171 --> 01:18:57,257 I must kill...Frank Drebin. 794 01:18:58,341 --> 01:19:00,594 No, no, don't shoot! 795 01:19:00,927 --> 01:19:04,806 Jane...it's me... 796 01:19:07,142 --> 01:19:08,560 Funny-face. 797 01:19:08,643 --> 01:19:12,481 I must kill Frank Drebin. 798 01:19:12,564 --> 01:19:15,358 You love Frank Drebin. 799 01:19:15,442 --> 01:19:18,445 And Frank Drebin loves you. 800 01:19:18,528 --> 01:19:22,449 Jane, if you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 801 01:19:22,532 --> 01:19:28,330 because without you, I wouldn't want to live anyway. 802 01:19:28,413 --> 01:19:31,875 I've finally found someone I can love - 803 01:19:31,958 --> 01:19:36,129 a good, clean love... without utensils. 804 01:19:36,213 --> 01:19:39,049 I must kill Frank Drebin. 805 01:19:40,217 --> 01:19:42,594 It's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 806 01:19:42,677 --> 01:19:47,307 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 807 01:19:47,390 --> 01:19:50,936 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 808 01:19:52,437 --> 01:19:56,983 Since I met you, l've noticed things I never knew where there - 809 01:19:57,067 --> 01:20:00,820 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, 810 01:20:00,904 --> 01:20:03,281 stop lights... 811 01:20:03,365 --> 01:20:05,033 I must kill... 812 01:20:05,116 --> 01:20:08,495 Jane, this morning... 813 01:20:08,578 --> 01:20:12,791 I bought something for you. It's not very much, 814 01:20:12,874 --> 01:20:18,004 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 815 01:20:18,088 --> 01:20:20,048 It's an engagement ring. 816 01:20:20,131 --> 01:20:22,175 I'd have given it to you earlier, 817 01:20:22,258 --> 01:20:25,512 but I wanted to wait until we were alone. 818 01:20:29,683 --> 01:20:32,686 - I... - I love you, Jane. 819 01:20:38,108 --> 01:20:39,943 Oh, Frank! 820 01:20:52,372 --> 01:20:54,624 I'm sorry! 821 01:21:05,218 --> 01:21:09,723 I'm sorry that I yelled at you yesterday, I really am. 822 01:21:11,683 --> 01:21:13,059 Drebin! 823 01:21:13,143 --> 01:21:15,812 I was wrong about you. 824 01:21:15,895 --> 01:21:20,024 This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude. 825 01:21:20,108 --> 01:21:21,317 Thank you. 826 01:21:21,401 --> 01:21:24,738 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad... 827 01:21:24,821 --> 01:21:28,825 - with a promotion to captain. - Mayor... 828 01:21:28,908 --> 01:21:33,621 Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 829 01:21:33,705 --> 01:21:36,082 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 830 01:21:36,166 --> 01:21:39,043 The doc says I should be on my feet in a week! 831 01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:43,047 - And back on the Force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 832 01:21:44,382 --> 01:21:47,677 Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you!