1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,973 Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 3 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,681 The Americans must be made to suffer. 4 00:00:56,929 --> 00:00:59,101 We must humiliate them. 5 00:00:59,205 --> 00:01:01,586 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 6 00:01:01,799 --> 00:01:05,651 We must strip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus, 7 00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:09,572 until they include us in the peace process. 8 00:01:09,676 --> 00:01:14,303 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 9 00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:18,291 I say wipe out Washington and New York. 10 00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:22,081 What? And spoil three years of good PR? 11 00:01:22,186 --> 00:01:25,277 The Americans believe I'm a nice guy. 12 00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:29,688 In some of their polls, I'm more popular than their president! 13 00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:36,601 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 14 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:40,020 If we do nothing else this week, 15 00:01:40,124 --> 00:01:43,940 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 16 00:01:44,044 --> 00:01:46,861 that will show all the world 17 00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:49,948 that the United States, the great Satan, 18 00:01:50,052 --> 00:01:53,200 is but a paper tiger - a weak nation, 19 00:01:53,304 --> 00:01:58,080 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 20 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,758 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 21 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,115 I knew it! 22 00:03:00,821 --> 00:03:03,351 Hey, who are you? 23 00:03:03,456 --> 00:03:06,018 I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 24 00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:09,368 And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! 25 00:03:37,441 --> 00:03:39,480 Watch out! 26 00:05:41,939 --> 00:05:44,637 ...98, 99, 100. It's all here. 27 00:05:44,741 --> 00:05:47,931 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 28 00:05:48,035 --> 00:05:50,114 100% pure. 29 00:05:50,239 --> 00:05:52,476 It better be - all 40 kilos. 30 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:55,982 The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 31 00:05:56,087 --> 00:05:59,613 - Then we'll expect payment. - Don't worry.' 32 00:06:27,943 --> 00:06:30,481 Police! Throw down your guns! 33 00:06:53,052 --> 00:06:54,929 Kill him. 34 00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:47,638 It's a great day for Americans. This man alone... 35 00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:58,192 There he is! 36 00:07:59,326 --> 00:08:01,357 No flowers, thank you. 37 00:08:01,461 --> 00:08:05,066 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We heard about it. 38 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:09,282 Thanks. I want to know one thing - is it true about Victoria? 39 00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:12,990 I'm afraid so. She ran off with some guy. 40 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,659 They got married last week. 41 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:19,415 Then it's over. All of this is meaningless. 42 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,292 I did it for her. Everything. 43 00:08:22,397 --> 00:08:24,876 And now she's gone. 44 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:29,132 And you came down here to get a hot story, didn't you? 45 00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,761 Pictures of me to sell your newspapers. 46 00:08:31,865 --> 00:08:35,598 - Frank... - Sure, you think I'm a big hero. 47 00:08:35,703 --> 00:08:40,229 Do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside? 48 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,439 Frank, they're not here for you. 49 00:08:42,544 --> 00:08:45,026 "Weird Al" Yankovic is on the plane. 50 00:08:50,543 --> 00:08:53,323 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 51 00:08:53,428 --> 00:08:56,829 Don't torture yourself! Put her out of your mind. 52 00:08:56,933 --> 00:09:00,582 I can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 53 00:09:00,686 --> 00:09:03,919 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 54 00:09:04,024 --> 00:09:06,168 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast 55 00:09:06,273 --> 00:09:08,936 and it's the best sex she's ever had. 56 00:09:10,145 --> 00:09:14,635 I trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 57 00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:17,347 I'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 58 00:09:17,452 --> 00:09:22,561 That's why I took my vacation in Beirut - to find some peace. 59 00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:24,689 It won't be easy. 60 00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:28,201 Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. 61 00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:32,987 Maybe cops and women just don't mix. 62 00:09:33,091 --> 00:09:36,493 What about Nordberg? I came as soon as I heard. 63 00:09:36,597 --> 00:09:38,952 He's alive, but on life support. 64 00:09:39,057 --> 00:09:41,747 He's got a 50/50 chance of living, 65 00:09:41,851 --> 00:09:45,972 though there's only a 10% chance of that. 66 00:10:08,078 --> 00:10:12,024 Mrs Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. 67 00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:14,155 Where would you like it sent? 68 00:10:14,259 --> 00:10:19,368 - Frank! I'm so glad you came! - Wilma, I came as soon as I heard. 69 00:10:19,472 --> 00:10:21,118 Thank you, Frank. 70 00:10:21,223 --> 00:10:24,374 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 71 00:10:24,478 --> 00:10:27,969 Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy. 72 00:10:30,309 --> 00:10:32,348 I'll get it! 73 00:10:35,856 --> 00:10:38,940 Get the switch at the back of the bed! 74 00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:46,604 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 75 00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:48,693 I... love you. 76 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:53,899 I love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 77 00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:57,656 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. A boat. 78 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,994 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 79 00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:03,869 - just like last year. - No... Drugs. 80 00:11:03,974 --> 00:11:08,374 Nurse, give this man some drugs! Can't you see he's in pain? 81 00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,919 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 82 00:11:11,024 --> 00:11:14,212 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 83 00:11:14,316 --> 00:11:16,591 Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 84 00:11:16,695 --> 00:11:19,854 Give me a couple of days on that one. 85 00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:26,433 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 86 00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:30,899 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 87 00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:32,647 It's hard to tell. 88 00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:37,787 A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 89 00:11:39,544 --> 00:11:42,074 Frank, get a hold of yourself! 90 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:47,121 A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. 91 00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:50,709 - No way for a man to die. - You're right, Ed. 92 00:11:50,813 --> 00:11:53,713 A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, 93 00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:56,255 getting caught in a combine, 94 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,966 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 95 00:11:59,071 --> 00:12:01,103 That's the way I want to go. 96 00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:05,723 Frank! This is terrible! 97 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:11,148 Don't worry, Wilma. Your husband is gonna be all right. 98 00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:16,275 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 99 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,359 He's right, Wilma, 100 00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:23,364 but don't wait till the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. 101 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:27,158 What I'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 102 00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:29,411 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 103 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:34,552 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense. 104 00:12:36,809 --> 00:12:40,937 Do you know why Nordberg was at the waterfront? 105 00:12:42,482 --> 00:12:43,524 No... 106 00:12:44,817 --> 00:12:48,021 But I found this at home in a drawer. 107 00:12:49,197 --> 00:12:55,645 A photograph! "I Luv You" out of Caracas. 108 00:12:55,749 --> 00:12:58,404 A Panamanian ship. 109 00:12:58,508 --> 00:13:02,699 When he said "I love you", he was telling you the name of the ship! 110 00:13:02,803 --> 00:13:05,869 I realise that... now. 111 00:13:05,973 --> 00:13:09,742 - We'd better check this out. - I want every available man on it. 112 00:13:09,847 --> 00:13:11,912 I can't spare anybody. 113 00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:16,129 We're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 114 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:18,882 Wilma, whatever scum did this, 115 00:13:18,986 --> 00:13:23,472 no man will rest until he's behind bars. Let's grab a bite to eat. 116 00:13:28,944 --> 00:13:33,850 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 117 00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:38,733 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 118 00:13:38,837 --> 00:13:42,992 as one of the cities she'll visit during her American tour. 119 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:48,741 Will the city hire additional security officers? 120 00:13:48,845 --> 00:13:53,994 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 121 00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:57,207 a special division of the Police Department, 122 00:13:57,312 --> 00:14:00,390 represented here by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 123 00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:06,394 Thank you, Your Honour. 124 00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:09,318 Louder! 125 00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:14,446 - You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 126 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:24,900 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the Queen's safety 127 00:14:25,004 --> 00:14:29,240 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 128 00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:33,410 No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 129 00:14:33,515 --> 00:14:38,503 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 130 00:14:40,474 --> 00:14:42,347 Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 131 00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:48,175 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 132 00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:52,890 of the Queen's American tour is completely protected. 133 00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:57,814 And we can take pride that the Queen... 134 00:15:02,579 --> 00:15:05,858 Indeed, it is for all the people, 135 00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:11,200 who will be able to share in these... celebrations... 136 00:15:13,382 --> 00:15:15,670 Especially exciting... 137 00:15:17,344 --> 00:15:22,586 will be... the Queen's... public appearances. 138 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,403 We also would like... 139 00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:03,710 Ed and I drove to where Nordberg had been found floating. 140 00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:08,839 Without leads, you have to start somewhere, and that was the harbour. 141 00:16:08,943 --> 00:16:12,215 Please disperse. Please disperse. 142 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:16,638 There's nothing for you to see here. Keep moving. 143 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,556 Where did they find him? 144 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:20,724 Out there. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 145 00:16:20,828 --> 00:16:24,020 No, I took care of that at the press conference. 146 00:16:24,124 --> 00:16:27,397 It doesn't make sense. Good policeman, bright future... 147 00:16:27,502 --> 00:16:29,816 then something like this happens. 148 00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:31,947 He was found by the nightwatchman. 149 00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:34,784 I'm gonna talk to the harbour-master. 150 00:16:34,888 --> 00:16:36,918 I'll walk around and snoop. 151 00:16:42,511 --> 00:16:46,207 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 152 00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:48,876 I remember you. What do you want? 153 00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:52,672 I wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 154 00:16:52,776 --> 00:16:56,134 I don't know. My memory ain't so great. 155 00:16:56,239 --> 00:16:59,225 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 156 00:16:59,329 --> 00:17:01,351 - Still hazy. - How about this? 157 00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,600 I remember. Why do you want to know? 158 00:17:03,704 --> 00:17:07,229 - I can't tell you. - Maybe this'll help. 159 00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:10,857 - I don't think I should. - Still don't think so? 160 00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:14,447 - It's Nordberg, he's a cop. - No, he was dealin' 'H'. 161 00:17:14,552 --> 00:17:16,281 - What? - He was dirty! 162 00:17:16,385 --> 00:17:19,287 Scum! I ought to run you in right now! 163 00:17:19,391 --> 00:17:22,911 He worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something. 164 00:17:23,015 --> 00:17:26,333 - What are you gonna do about it? - Why should I tell you? 165 00:17:26,438 --> 00:17:29,587 - Maybe this'll help. - I shouldn't tell you. 166 00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:32,130 Can you spot me a 20? How about now? 167 00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,380 I'm going down to Ludwig's office. 168 00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:37,100 I'll find out if you're telling the truth. 169 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:43,268 Vincent Ludwig owned one of the city's largest corporations. 170 00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:45,932 A respected business man and civic leader, 171 00:17:46,036 --> 00:17:49,229 he was to chair the Queen's reception committee. 172 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:53,574 Now I was about to question him about drugs and attempted murder. 173 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:02,576 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 174 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,628 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 175 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,056 Show him in. 176 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:17,594 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 177 00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:21,468 Nice to meet you, too. Cuban? 178 00:18:21,572 --> 00:18:26,058 No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales. 179 00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:27,687 Sit down. 180 00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:31,023 - What a magnificent office. - Thank you, Lieutenant. 181 00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:35,653 Most objects I have collected over a period of many years - 182 00:18:35,757 --> 00:18:40,449 my Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 183 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:45,495 They are objects which I feel reflect my personality, 184 00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:47,790 like the Japanese fighting fish - 185 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,916 beautiful, graceful, elegant... 186 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,250 yet single-minded of purpose 187 00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:57,006 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 188 00:18:57,111 --> 00:19:02,220 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 189 00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:04,931 A luxury item, to be certain, 190 00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:08,935 but I am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 191 00:19:09,039 --> 00:19:13,105 Oh, this... This is a rare Samurai pen, 192 00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:16,111 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 193 00:19:16,215 --> 00:19:20,240 Unbreakable. Impervious to everything but water. 194 00:19:20,344 --> 00:19:25,202 - Its value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 195 00:19:25,307 --> 00:19:30,247 But I'm sure you didn't pay this visit for a lecture on fine art. 196 00:19:30,351 --> 00:19:33,003 To what do I owe the honour? 197 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:36,929 I'm investigating the attempted murder of a dock worker, 198 00:19:38,602 --> 00:19:42,351 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 199 00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:46,264 He is still alive, then? 200 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:48,732 He was shot six times. 201 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,062 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ. 202 00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:55,853 - The salt water preserved him. - So they... 203 00:19:55,957 --> 00:19:58,439 So they got him to the hospital in time? 204 00:19:58,543 --> 00:20:02,529 He's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 205 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:05,867 This certainly comes as a shock to me. 206 00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:11,201 As you know, I'm not the kind of man who takes such things lightly. 207 00:20:11,306 --> 00:20:15,209 There is no room in my organisation for criminal activity. 208 00:20:15,313 --> 00:20:19,712 Look out there - a vast commercial development built by me. 209 00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:23,890 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 210 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,427 You bet you do. Orange groves! 211 00:20:27,531 --> 00:20:30,601 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 212 00:20:30,705 --> 00:20:35,572 But now that land will generate ten times the amount of profit. 213 00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:39,563 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 214 00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,983 Let me get you some Kleenex. 215 00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:45,528 Has this officer - 216 00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:47,742 What's his name? Nordberg - 217 00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:51,872 been able to tell you anything? 218 00:20:51,977 --> 00:20:56,457 Well, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 219 00:20:56,561 --> 00:20:59,463 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 220 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:03,676 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 221 00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:07,217 - Pardon? - I've taken up a lot of your time. 222 00:21:07,321 --> 00:21:09,930 I'd like to look at your employment records 223 00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:12,474 and speak to someone in Personnel. 224 00:21:12,578 --> 00:21:14,141 Of course. 225 00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:17,935 - Dominique, send in Miss Spencer. - Yes, sir. 226 00:21:18,039 --> 00:21:22,735 I am quite busy making arrangements for the royal visit, 227 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,738 but I will have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 228 00:21:26,843 --> 00:21:30,198 You've been very co-operative. I'll note that in my report. 229 00:21:30,302 --> 00:21:32,124 My pleasure. 230 00:21:35,051 --> 00:21:39,594 Miss Spencer! This is Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad. 231 00:21:40,682 --> 00:21:43,220 Hello... Mr Drebin. 232 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:45,311 Hello. 233 00:21:52,860 --> 00:21:53,903 Oh! 234 00:22:09,043 --> 00:22:13,207 Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. 235 00:22:14,382 --> 00:22:17,539 She had a full set of curves 236 00:22:17,644 --> 00:22:22,419 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 237 00:22:22,523 --> 00:22:26,216 She gave me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. 238 00:22:27,895 --> 00:22:32,142 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 239 00:22:37,864 --> 00:22:41,355 - Nice beaver. - Thank you. 240 00:22:41,459 --> 00:22:45,448 - I just had it stuffed. - Let me help you with that. 241 00:22:47,457 --> 00:22:50,532 This should be what you're looking for - 242 00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:53,368 the shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 243 00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:55,548 Thank you. 244 00:22:56,174 --> 00:22:58,704 I've heard police work is dangerous. 245 00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:01,127 Yes, that's why I carry a big gun. 246 00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:04,043 Couldn't it go off accidentally? 247 00:23:04,147 --> 00:23:06,420 I used to have that problem. 248 00:23:06,525 --> 00:23:08,549 What did you do about it? 249 00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:11,136 I just think about baseball. 250 00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:16,220 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 251 00:23:16,324 --> 00:23:19,099 Did it slip down there again? 252 00:23:19,203 --> 00:23:22,060 Yes, well... I'll quickly go through these 253 00:23:22,164 --> 00:23:24,189 and get them back to you tomorrow. 254 00:23:24,293 --> 00:23:28,941 Fine, but there's no rush. I mean, whenever you're through. 255 00:23:29,045 --> 00:23:33,196 Thank you. I wish there was some way I could repay you. 256 00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:38,494 How about dinner? I know a place that serves great Viking food. 257 00:23:38,598 --> 00:23:42,708 It's tempting, but I'm afraid I must rest this evening, 258 00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:44,834 tomorrow being Arbor Day. 259 00:23:44,938 --> 00:23:47,793 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 260 00:23:47,897 --> 00:23:51,466 - How about a rain check? - Let's just stick to dinner. 261 00:23:51,570 --> 00:23:55,180 Thank you for your help, Miss Spencer. 262 00:23:56,525 --> 00:23:58,556 My pleasure. 263 00:23:58,660 --> 00:24:02,309 - Well? - Mr Ludwig, you startled me! 264 00:24:02,413 --> 00:24:04,270 I'm sorry, my dear. 265 00:24:04,374 --> 00:24:07,523 Did you give the lieutenant what he wanted? 266 00:24:07,627 --> 00:24:10,188 I gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 267 00:24:10,293 --> 00:24:12,320 Good. That's good. 268 00:24:12,424 --> 00:24:17,405 He is an intriguing fellow, don't you think? 269 00:24:17,509 --> 00:24:21,494 Well, I don't know. I've only just met him. 270 00:24:21,599 --> 00:24:23,456 He seems very nice. 271 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,749 Jane, I realise this is an unusual request, 272 00:24:26,853 --> 00:24:30,171 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 273 00:24:30,275 --> 00:24:34,046 I need to know about it, so we can root it out. 274 00:24:34,150 --> 00:24:36,215 That's why I want you to... 275 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,554 well, to get to know Drebin a little better, 276 00:24:40,658 --> 00:24:42,683 find out what he knows. 277 00:24:42,788 --> 00:24:45,559 Wouldn't this be best handled by the police? 278 00:24:45,663 --> 00:24:48,981 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 279 00:24:49,086 --> 00:24:52,152 But we need to know the facts quickly 280 00:24:52,257 --> 00:24:55,361 before anything gets into the newspapers. 281 00:24:55,465 --> 00:24:59,910 Don't forget, I have a responsibility to the stockholders. 282 00:25:00,014 --> 00:25:03,534 Well... if you put it that way... 283 00:25:03,639 --> 00:25:07,548 - Yes, I'll do my best. - That's better. 284 00:25:10,599 --> 00:25:13,516 I'm sure you will. 285 00:25:18,774 --> 00:25:23,097 It was about 4pm when I returned to Police Squad. 286 00:25:23,201 --> 00:25:27,812 I wanted to see what the lab had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 287 00:25:27,916 --> 00:25:30,355 the one they'd found on the docks. 288 00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:34,147 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 289 00:25:34,252 --> 00:25:36,817 I was hoping we wouldn't come up dry. 290 00:25:36,921 --> 00:25:38,541 Hey, look out! 291 00:25:40,796 --> 00:25:42,539 Police! Halt! 292 00:25:51,472 --> 00:25:54,343 Anybody catch the licence plate? 293 00:25:54,767 --> 00:25:57,851 Anybody get a look at the driver? 294 00:26:01,273 --> 00:26:04,553 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 295 00:26:04,657 --> 00:26:08,436 I've got to get... inside. 296 00:26:15,204 --> 00:26:18,567 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 297 00:26:18,671 --> 00:26:20,736 - We got some action here. - What? 298 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,282 We're testing our anti-graffiti wall. 299 00:26:23,386 --> 00:26:25,243 We've got customers. 300 00:26:25,348 --> 00:26:29,040 It reacts when the spray hits the sensors. 301 00:26:32,305 --> 00:26:34,541 You've done it again - mazel tov! 302 00:26:34,645 --> 00:26:37,420 Good work. What will you think of next? 303 00:26:37,524 --> 00:26:39,549 Now that you mention it, 304 00:26:39,654 --> 00:26:42,508 here's something we developed only yesterday. 305 00:26:42,613 --> 00:26:45,431 To the casual observer - an ordinary shoe. 306 00:26:45,535 --> 00:26:49,433 But in actuality... it makes a handy weapon. 307 00:26:49,537 --> 00:26:52,771 And everything a cop would need. 308 00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,937 We call it the Swiss Army Shoe. 309 00:26:55,041 --> 00:26:59,608 - Great. And the fibre samples? - Just one more thing. 310 00:26:59,712 --> 00:27:01,987 See these cufflinks I'm wearing? 311 00:27:02,092 --> 00:27:06,740 They're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 312 00:27:06,844 --> 00:27:09,914 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes. 313 00:27:10,018 --> 00:27:12,251 Let me demonstrate on Ed. 314 00:27:14,221 --> 00:27:16,098 Ted! Why? 315 00:27:18,851 --> 00:27:21,926 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 316 00:27:22,030 --> 00:27:26,139 - Why don't you take a pair? - Actually, I could use another pair. 317 00:27:26,243 --> 00:27:28,098 I think you'll like them. 318 00:27:28,202 --> 00:27:30,935 - Want this, chief? - Thank you, Al. 319 00:27:31,039 --> 00:27:34,105 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 320 00:27:34,209 --> 00:27:36,730 No, no. The other side. 321 00:27:36,835 --> 00:27:41,528 As you requested, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 322 00:27:41,632 --> 00:27:44,026 I'm afraid it doesn't look good. 323 00:27:44,131 --> 00:27:47,626 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 324 00:27:50,215 --> 00:27:54,129 - I can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 325 00:27:54,844 --> 00:27:56,876 Yeah, I can see it now. 326 00:27:56,980 --> 00:28:00,546 At first, it appears to be the normal cotton fibres. 327 00:28:00,650 --> 00:28:03,347 But we discovered a fine white powder. 328 00:28:04,854 --> 00:28:07,174 Pure heroin. 329 00:28:07,279 --> 00:28:10,348 How well do you know Nordberg? 330 00:28:10,453 --> 00:28:14,018 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 331 00:28:14,122 --> 00:28:17,521 We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 332 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:22,356 - Are you saying that Nordberg? - The Queen arrives in two days. 333 00:28:22,461 --> 00:28:24,986 If the press should pick this up, 334 00:28:25,090 --> 00:28:28,158 it could be embarrassing for the police and the city. 335 00:28:28,262 --> 00:28:32,500 I'm sorry, Frank. I'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 336 00:28:43,018 --> 00:28:45,049 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 337 00:28:45,153 --> 00:28:49,771 - A Mr Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 338 00:28:56,990 --> 00:29:00,065 Is there something wrong, Mr Ludwig? 339 00:29:00,169 --> 00:29:01,897 No, it's nothing. 340 00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:06,235 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Have a seat. 341 00:29:06,339 --> 00:29:09,446 I can carry out your request. 342 00:29:09,550 --> 00:29:13,791 - My price is $20 million. - Your price is not a problem. 343 00:29:15,467 --> 00:29:19,207 But there is concern on the part of those I represent, 344 00:29:19,311 --> 00:29:25,087 that you would be able to... complete so difficult a task. 345 00:29:25,191 --> 00:29:27,549 Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir, 346 00:29:27,653 --> 00:29:33,223 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 347 00:29:33,327 --> 00:29:38,812 I would think anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. 348 00:29:38,916 --> 00:29:43,865 Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin. 349 00:29:45,955 --> 00:29:50,195 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 350 00:29:50,299 --> 00:29:52,951 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 351 00:29:53,055 --> 00:29:56,165 Dominique, service for two, please. 352 00:30:07,726 --> 00:30:10,431 I must kill Pahpshmir. 353 00:30:18,445 --> 00:30:22,194 - Cream and sugar, sir? - Mr Pahpshmir? 354 00:30:25,911 --> 00:30:28,070 Cream only, please. 355 00:30:29,832 --> 00:30:33,949 - There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it. It's all right. 356 00:30:34,054 --> 00:30:37,294 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 357 00:30:39,258 --> 00:30:43,791 Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 358 00:30:43,896 --> 00:30:45,919 I think I just have. 359 00:30:46,023 --> 00:30:48,756 How will she get near the target? 360 00:30:48,860 --> 00:30:52,796 Oh, I doubt whether it will be her. 361 00:30:52,901 --> 00:30:56,592 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 362 00:30:56,696 --> 00:30:59,313 And it seems to me... 363 00:31:00,571 --> 00:31:03,940 anyone... can be an assassin. 364 00:31:07,411 --> 00:31:12,067 I had 24 hours to find something to clear my friend's name. 365 00:31:12,171 --> 00:31:15,112 I returned to the hospital with Ludwig's records 366 00:31:15,217 --> 00:31:17,696 to try to jog Nordberg's memory. 367 00:31:17,801 --> 00:31:21,492 Doctor, I have the chart, if you're ready to go over it. 368 00:31:21,596 --> 00:31:24,705 I'll be with you when I've finished with Mr Nordberg. 369 00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:26,879 Yes, Doctor. 370 00:31:32,436 --> 00:31:35,105 You'll be out of here in a couple of... 371 00:31:41,153 --> 00:31:44,932 - I'd like to see Officer Nordberg. - Sign in, please. 372 00:31:45,036 --> 00:31:48,356 Wait a minute! Where's the police guard? 373 00:31:48,460 --> 00:31:52,398 - Drebin called and sent him home. - Drebin? 374 00:31:52,502 --> 00:31:58,113 I must kill Nordberg. I must kill Nordberg. 375 00:31:58,217 --> 00:32:01,461 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 376 00:32:30,910 --> 00:32:33,781 Medical emergency! 377 00:32:40,211 --> 00:32:43,960 Drebin, Police Squad. Follow that black car! 378 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,953 The car! Follow that car! 379 00:32:48,057 --> 00:32:51,665 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 380 00:32:51,770 --> 00:32:54,220 Now pull into traffic. 381 00:32:57,395 --> 00:32:59,553 Try and ease off on the brake. 382 00:33:01,816 --> 00:33:05,861 - Give it a little gas. - I know a short cut. Turn left here! 383 00:33:09,198 --> 00:33:11,571 - There he is! - Easy! 384 00:33:26,674 --> 00:33:28,411 Turn right! Follow him! 385 00:33:28,516 --> 00:33:32,416 It's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 386 00:33:32,521 --> 00:33:35,598 down the wrong way of a one-way street. 387 00:33:37,518 --> 00:33:39,558 Apply the brakes. 388 00:33:40,521 --> 00:33:42,348 Now put it in reverse. 389 00:33:49,864 --> 00:33:52,266 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie... 390 00:33:52,371 --> 00:33:54,573 Gently extend your arm. 391 00:33:56,287 --> 00:33:59,739 Extend your middle finger. 392 00:34:02,501 --> 00:34:05,576 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 393 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,126 Go for it, Stephanie! 394 00:34:53,302 --> 00:34:55,204 Excuse me. Excuse me. 395 00:34:55,309 --> 00:34:58,750 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 396 00:34:58,854 --> 00:35:01,296 Please disperse! 397 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,931 Nothing to see here. Please! 398 00:35:06,315 --> 00:35:10,848 The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 399 00:35:10,952 --> 00:35:13,807 The questions kept coming up again and again, 400 00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:15,981 like bubbles in a case of soda. 401 00:35:17,034 --> 00:35:19,397 Who was this character in the hospital? 402 00:35:19,502 --> 00:35:23,318 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg... and for whom? 403 00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:27,322 Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, 404 00:35:27,426 --> 00:35:29,988 but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him. 405 00:35:30,092 --> 00:35:33,867 Why was the "I Luv You" not listed in Ludwig's records? 406 00:35:33,971 --> 00:35:36,708 If it was, did he know about it? 407 00:35:36,813 --> 00:35:39,040 If he didn't, who did? 408 00:35:39,144 --> 00:35:41,345 And where the hell was I? 409 00:35:44,311 --> 00:35:46,925 It was almost midnight when I got home. 410 00:35:47,029 --> 00:35:49,763 I just wanted to slip under my blankets, 411 00:35:49,867 --> 00:35:53,274 but my night was just about to begin. 412 00:36:32,066 --> 00:36:34,522 You're late. 413 00:36:35,695 --> 00:36:38,353 That depends on what I'm late for. 414 00:36:38,458 --> 00:36:41,522 You said we should have dinner some time. 415 00:36:41,627 --> 00:36:44,488 Tonight became "some time". 416 00:36:45,955 --> 00:36:48,113 I'm boiling a roast. 417 00:36:50,376 --> 00:36:52,862 How hot and wet do you like it? 418 00:36:52,966 --> 00:36:58,175 Very hot and awfully wet. 419 00:36:58,301 --> 00:37:02,041 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 420 00:37:02,145 --> 00:37:05,584 I'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 421 00:37:05,688 --> 00:37:08,003 That shirt looks familiar. 422 00:37:08,107 --> 00:37:12,342 It's yours. I didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 423 00:37:12,446 --> 00:37:15,441 At least... not yet. 424 00:37:18,696 --> 00:37:22,741 Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable? 425 00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:31,572 There. That's better. 426 00:37:33,753 --> 00:37:36,783 I hope you've brought your appetite. 427 00:37:36,887 --> 00:37:38,745 I've brought everything. 428 00:37:38,849 --> 00:37:41,462 Well, then, dig in. 429 00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:50,799 Interesting. Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. 430 00:37:50,903 --> 00:37:53,259 I was young. I needed the work. 431 00:37:53,363 --> 00:37:56,469 No, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 432 00:37:56,573 --> 00:38:00,807 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. It wasn't on Ludwig's records. 433 00:38:00,911 --> 00:38:03,185 Probably an oversight. 434 00:38:03,289 --> 00:38:06,616 How is your... meat? 435 00:38:09,664 --> 00:38:11,739 You be the judge of that. 436 00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:16,670 Mmm... 437 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:22,086 I've got nine more. 438 00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:29,672 - Have you seen that ship? - I don't know. 439 00:38:29,776 --> 00:38:33,590 It doesn't look like ours, but we deal with so many ships. 440 00:38:33,694 --> 00:38:36,595 Has Officer Nordberg told you anything? 441 00:38:36,699 --> 00:38:40,724 No, there's been another attempt on his life. He's in a coma. 442 00:38:40,828 --> 00:38:45,103 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 443 00:38:45,207 --> 00:38:47,896 If it wasn't, I'd be out of a job, 444 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:52,701 but I'd give it up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 445 00:38:53,915 --> 00:38:55,955 That's beautiful. 446 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,006 This is all happening too fast. 447 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:08,424 - I've been hurt before. - I'm sorry. 448 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,963 I'd known her for years. 449 00:39:13,068 --> 00:39:16,422 We used to go to all the police functions together. 450 00:39:16,526 --> 00:39:19,718 How I loved her, but she had her music. 451 00:39:19,822 --> 00:39:22,596 I think she had her music. 452 00:39:22,700 --> 00:39:26,473 She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 453 00:39:26,577 --> 00:39:30,607 I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to sing. 454 00:39:30,711 --> 00:39:33,649 Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. 455 00:39:33,753 --> 00:39:38,824 I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was. 456 00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:43,701 It's the same old story. Boy finds girl. 457 00:39:43,806 --> 00:39:46,457 Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. 458 00:39:46,562 --> 00:39:49,626 Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. 459 00:39:49,730 --> 00:39:51,958 Girl dies in a blimp accident 460 00:39:52,062 --> 00:39:54,920 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 461 00:39:55,024 --> 00:39:58,093 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 462 00:39:58,197 --> 00:39:59,931 Poor dear! 463 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:06,725 Now, now. I don't want to upset you. 464 00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:09,813 Frank, it's not that. 465 00:40:09,917 --> 00:40:12,315 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 466 00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:18,653 - There's something I must tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 467 00:40:18,757 --> 00:40:21,657 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 468 00:40:21,761 --> 00:40:23,155 Maybe... 469 00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:28,212 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 470 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,390 Funny-face! 471 00:40:52,282 --> 00:40:55,939 I want you to know... I practise safe sex. 472 00:40:56,044 --> 00:40:57,705 So do I. 473 00:42:31,631 --> 00:42:36,174 I had a wonderful day, Frank. I can't believe we just met yesterday. 474 00:42:37,053 --> 00:42:40,128 You really mean that? You're not just saying it, 475 00:42:40,232 --> 00:42:42,670 because we exchanged bodily fluids? 476 00:42:42,774 --> 00:42:46,130 No, I really mean it. You're very special. 477 00:42:46,234 --> 00:42:50,552 - Can I interest you in a nightcap? - No, thanks, I don't wear them. 478 00:42:50,656 --> 00:42:52,970 Actually, I'm on stake-out tonight. 479 00:42:53,074 --> 00:42:56,983 I'll be thinking about you. I'll call you tomorrow. 480 00:42:58,241 --> 00:42:59,283 OK. 481 00:43:06,291 --> 00:43:08,330 Good night! 482 00:43:18,678 --> 00:43:21,753 The answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 483 00:43:21,857 --> 00:43:24,794 Call it what you will - a hunch, women's intuition. 484 00:43:24,899 --> 00:43:27,090 Ludwig knows more than he's saying. 485 00:43:27,195 --> 00:43:31,177 A hunch won't stand up in court. Where are your hard facts? 486 00:43:31,281 --> 00:43:35,136 He's the only one except us who knew Nordberg was still alive. 487 00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:39,687 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock him off. 488 00:43:39,792 --> 00:43:44,732 Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 489 00:43:44,836 --> 00:43:48,275 I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, 490 00:43:48,379 --> 00:43:51,488 crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan. 491 00:43:51,592 --> 00:43:53,625 There he is! 492 00:43:57,383 --> 00:44:00,580 Just trust me on this, Ed. I know I'm right. 493 00:44:00,684 --> 00:44:02,626 OK, but be careful. 494 00:44:02,730 --> 00:44:05,806 Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. 495 00:44:57,526 --> 00:44:58,777 Bingo! 496 00:45:46,241 --> 00:45:49,316 "20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Zurich, 497 00:45:49,420 --> 00:45:51,617 "upon proof of Queen's death." 498 00:48:14,055 --> 00:48:16,291 Destroying property, arson... 499 00:48:16,395 --> 00:48:19,504 sexual assault with a concrete dildo?! 500 00:48:19,608 --> 00:48:22,427 What the hell were you doing there? 501 00:48:22,531 --> 00:48:24,591 I'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 502 00:48:24,695 --> 00:48:28,930 but we believe Ludwig is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 503 00:48:29,034 --> 00:48:32,806 That's ridiculous! Where is this "evidence"? 504 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:36,851 Well... it... burned in the f-fire. 505 00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:38,605 Gentlemen, 506 00:48:38,710 --> 00:48:43,071 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 507 00:48:43,175 --> 00:48:47,905 If we're very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 508 00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:50,663 - Your Honour! - Did I make myself clear? 509 00:48:50,767 --> 00:48:53,378 Yes, Your Honour. Good day. 510 00:48:55,679 --> 00:48:57,138 Drebin! 511 00:48:57,806 --> 00:49:04,088 I don't want any more trouble like you had last year. That's my policy. 512 00:49:04,192 --> 00:49:09,426 When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in a park, 513 00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,601 I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 514 00:49:12,705 --> 00:49:19,521 That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of "Julius Caesar"! 515 00:49:19,625 --> 00:49:24,275 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 516 00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:28,697 Your presence at the Queen's reception tonight is not necessary. 517 00:49:28,801 --> 00:49:30,743 Is that understood? 518 00:49:30,847 --> 00:49:33,923 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 519 00:49:56,906 --> 00:49:59,521 The plane has taxied to a stop. 520 00:49:59,625 --> 00:50:02,609 Any minute now we expect the doors to open 521 00:50:02,713 --> 00:50:05,273 and we'll get a glimpse of the Queen, 522 00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:09,407 as she begins her first visit to Los Angeles in five years. 523 00:50:09,512 --> 00:50:13,032 It's a balmy, beautiful evening too. 524 00:50:13,136 --> 00:50:16,547 She's going from here to a formal reception... 525 00:50:23,183 --> 00:50:25,010 - Jane! - Frank! 526 00:50:27,145 --> 00:50:30,220 I'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 527 00:50:30,324 --> 00:50:32,346 Maybe just a bite. 528 00:50:32,450 --> 00:50:35,517 Ludwig wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 529 00:50:35,621 --> 00:50:40,183 There is something you should know. I was in his place last night. 530 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:45,105 How nice! Did he show you his Ming vases and rare oil paintings? 531 00:50:45,209 --> 00:50:49,527 Jane, I think that he's involved in a number of criminal activities. 532 00:50:49,631 --> 00:50:51,656 Frank, stop it! 533 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:55,076 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 534 00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:58,413 - You don't know him like I do. - How's that? 535 00:50:58,517 --> 00:51:03,958 - What's that supposed to mean? - I'm sorry. I'm worried about you. 536 00:51:04,062 --> 00:51:08,174 I don't trust him and I don't want you mixed up in anything dangerous. 537 00:51:08,278 --> 00:51:11,509 Are Woo back in business? They closed down three years ago. 538 00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:16,647 Gee, has it been that long? I don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 539 00:51:18,404 --> 00:51:23,059 It's sweet of you to be concerned, but you're wrong about Vincent. 540 00:51:23,164 --> 00:51:26,937 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 541 00:51:27,041 --> 00:51:29,068 He just wants to talk with you 542 00:51:29,173 --> 00:51:32,405 to clear up any doubts you might have. 543 00:51:32,509 --> 00:51:34,571 - When? - Tonight. 544 00:51:34,675 --> 00:51:37,533 Meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 545 00:51:37,637 --> 00:51:40,494 All right, but promise you'll be careful. 546 00:51:40,599 --> 00:51:44,211 Of course I will, funny-face, for you. 547 00:51:45,472 --> 00:51:48,252 I've got to go. See you tomorrow. 548 00:51:48,356 --> 00:51:52,182 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 549 00:52:17,338 --> 00:52:18,797 Ludwig? 550 00:52:19,673 --> 00:52:22,748 - Drebin? - Yeah, I'm Drebin. 551 00:52:22,852 --> 00:52:26,592 I have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig. 552 00:52:29,516 --> 00:52:31,548 I'm sorry, I can't hear you! 553 00:52:31,652 --> 00:52:34,644 Don't fire the gun while you're talking. 554 00:52:57,168 --> 00:53:01,996 All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 555 00:53:35,707 --> 00:53:38,448 Matthews, stake out that end, 556 00:53:38,552 --> 00:53:42,616 and card-check for anyone suspicious looking. 557 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,783 Frank, what are you doing here? 558 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:48,661 I've been trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 559 00:53:48,765 --> 00:53:52,457 They're planning to do her tonight, here. 560 00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:57,515 - We better be on the lookout. - Excuse me, ma'am, security. 561 00:53:59,355 --> 00:54:04,056 - What's the meaning of this? - Relax! Nothing will happen. 562 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:07,227 - I didn't do anything. - Yeah? What about this? 563 00:54:07,331 --> 00:54:11,645 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 564 00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:13,313 I got rights! 565 00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:16,652 Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 566 00:54:16,756 --> 00:54:17,999 Ethel! 567 00:54:20,376 --> 00:54:23,035 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 568 00:54:23,139 --> 00:54:26,498 That's all right, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 569 00:54:37,310 --> 00:54:39,341 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 570 00:54:39,445 --> 00:54:44,054 I'm so excited to be here. I appreciate your inviting me. 571 00:54:44,158 --> 00:54:47,981 Pleasure's all mine. Perhaps afterwards we can... 572 00:54:50,197 --> 00:54:52,017 - Drebin! - Frank! 573 00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,229 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig? 574 00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:58,235 This is not the time or place to talk. 575 00:54:58,339 --> 00:55:00,899 It's way past the time we talked. 576 00:55:01,003 --> 00:55:03,446 The gloves are off, I'm playing hardball. 577 00:55:03,551 --> 00:55:07,828 It's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 578 00:55:07,932 --> 00:55:11,868 Mr Drebin! If you have evidence, then use it. 579 00:55:11,973 --> 00:55:15,914 If not, I am warning you - get off my back! 580 00:55:16,018 --> 00:55:18,054 Or it will cost you dearly. 581 00:55:20,811 --> 00:55:25,012 - Frank, what's wrong? - A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 582 00:55:25,116 --> 00:55:28,802 A meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 583 00:55:28,906 --> 00:55:32,143 set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin. 584 00:55:32,247 --> 00:55:35,019 Funny-face, what are you talking about? 585 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:39,151 My stockyard meeting, butter-wings. Don't you remember setting that up? 586 00:55:39,255 --> 00:55:42,403 Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off! Believe me! 587 00:55:42,507 --> 00:55:44,819 Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps! 588 00:55:44,923 --> 00:55:47,659 Frank, it's the truth! 589 00:55:47,764 --> 00:55:51,700 Cops and women don't mix. Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 590 00:55:51,804 --> 00:55:55,624 It'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 591 00:55:55,728 --> 00:55:57,760 Too bad, sugar-puff. 592 00:55:59,182 --> 00:56:01,924 We could have been something. 593 00:56:02,028 --> 00:56:04,677 I only did what I was told to do! 594 00:56:04,782 --> 00:56:07,097 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 595 00:56:08,817 --> 00:56:11,015 That makes things easier, Princess. 596 00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:14,435 To think I trusted you! I made a big mistake. 597 00:56:14,539 --> 00:56:18,114 - You can take this back. - Whose is that? 598 00:56:20,203 --> 00:56:24,415 Doesn't matter. Take care of yourself, baby. 599 00:56:25,792 --> 00:56:27,695 By the way... 600 00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,752 I faked every orgasm. 601 00:56:30,714 --> 00:56:32,753 Funny-face! 602 00:56:33,550 --> 00:56:36,081 And to commemorate our friendship, 603 00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:40,711 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 604 00:56:40,816 --> 00:56:46,928 this Revolutionary War musket, donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig. 605 00:56:48,273 --> 00:56:51,469 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 606 00:56:51,573 --> 00:56:54,402 Queen Elizabeth II! 607 00:57:29,522 --> 00:57:34,306 It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 608 00:57:34,410 --> 00:57:37,016 What is journalism coming to? 609 00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,726 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 610 00:57:40,830 --> 00:57:42,402 and they call that news! 611 00:57:42,535 --> 00:57:46,026 They can't kick you off the Force, it's not fair. 612 00:57:46,130 --> 00:57:48,985 I know. Life isn't always fair. 613 00:57:49,089 --> 00:57:54,494 Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. 614 00:57:54,598 --> 00:57:56,703 Hey, look at that! 615 00:57:56,807 --> 00:58:01,916 The missing evidence in the Kilner case! My God, he WAS innocent! 616 00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:05,292 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 617 00:58:05,396 --> 00:58:08,754 Well... what's the use? 618 00:58:08,858 --> 00:58:11,928 What good are these damn awards and citations? 619 00:58:12,032 --> 00:58:13,638 Frank... 620 00:58:13,742 --> 00:58:16,263 Frank, that's not your desk! 621 00:58:16,368 --> 00:58:19,684 Frank! I've been looking all over for you! 622 00:58:19,789 --> 00:58:22,855 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 623 00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:26,525 I tried to call last night. I went by your place. Where were you? 624 00:58:26,629 --> 00:58:29,023 I was out walking. All night. 625 00:58:29,127 --> 00:58:32,115 Listen to me! I have important information. 626 00:58:32,219 --> 00:58:35,950 There was never anything between Vincent and me. 627 00:58:36,054 --> 00:58:39,409 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 628 00:58:39,514 --> 00:58:41,662 I like cops. 629 00:58:41,766 --> 00:58:45,628 - All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 630 00:58:46,766 --> 00:58:49,674 - What've you got? - I overheard Ludwig. 631 00:58:49,778 --> 00:58:54,885 You were right. He is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 632 00:58:54,989 --> 00:58:57,345 - Where? - At the baseball game. 633 00:58:57,449 --> 00:59:00,850 The Queen will be there as Ludwig's guest. 634 00:59:00,954 --> 00:59:05,063 Is Ludwig going to shoot her in front of 60,000 fans? 635 00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:07,938 No, a player, during the 7th inning stretch. 636 00:59:08,042 --> 00:59:10,861 - It starts in 20 minutes. - I'll go. 637 00:59:10,965 --> 00:59:13,947 - I'll go with you. - Stay with Ludwig 638 00:59:14,051 --> 00:59:17,283 - to allay suspicion. - OK, let's go! 639 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,161 Wait! Wait! 640 00:59:19,265 --> 00:59:23,328 I've gotten you into enough trouble already. I'll go alone. 641 00:59:23,433 --> 00:59:28,337 No! This'll get you back on the Force. We're right behind you. 642 00:59:31,184 --> 00:59:35,424 Frank? I wanted you to know now, 643 00:59:35,528 --> 00:59:39,806 I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. 644 00:59:39,911 --> 00:59:41,941 I'm a very lucky woman. 645 00:59:42,529 --> 00:59:43,940 So am I. 646 00:59:52,289 --> 00:59:56,778 Good afternoon. We're coming live from the Big A, 647 00:59:56,883 --> 01:00:00,034 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 648 01:00:00,138 --> 01:00:04,453 in their showdown for the Division League. 649 01:00:04,557 --> 01:00:08,291 Hello! I'm Curt Gowdy, along with Jim Palmer, 650 01:00:08,395 --> 01:00:11,463 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 651 01:00:11,567 --> 01:00:14,755 Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers. 652 01:00:14,859 --> 01:00:17,594 Join us for this all-important ball game. 653 01:00:17,698 --> 01:00:19,426 And a special game it is. 654 01:00:19,530 --> 01:00:23,348 As we know, it is being attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. 655 01:00:23,452 --> 01:00:26,114 I'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim. 656 01:00:27,198 --> 01:00:29,268 We've got all the exits covered. 657 01:00:29,372 --> 01:00:31,437 I ought to arrest Ludwig right now. 658 01:00:31,541 --> 01:00:35,398 No, we've got to let him make the first move. 659 01:00:35,503 --> 01:00:39,194 The Mayor would have you arrested. You've got to stay out of sight. 660 01:00:39,298 --> 01:00:41,953 I've got to get that assassin. 661 01:00:42,057 --> 01:00:44,200 It could be any of those players. 662 01:00:44,304 --> 01:00:47,828 I've got to get down on that field and search those players. 663 01:00:47,933 --> 01:00:51,457 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and welcome 664 01:00:51,561 --> 01:00:54,130 Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II! 665 01:01:02,858 --> 01:01:04,898 One moment. 666 01:01:06,946 --> 01:01:09,899 Over there - these seats are taken. 667 01:01:25,464 --> 01:01:28,994 My dear, is something bothering you? 668 01:01:29,098 --> 01:01:30,791 No, why do you ask? 669 01:01:30,895 --> 01:01:35,087 You haven't said a word. You seem... nervous. 670 01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:39,838 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 671 01:01:39,942 --> 01:01:43,511 Why he not here now? I do not like to wait for him. 672 01:01:43,616 --> 01:01:49,390 Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes. Please wait. 673 01:01:49,494 --> 01:01:53,856 - He should be here now! - I'll send him right over. 674 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,035 I do not wait for him! He waits for me! 675 01:02:01,709 --> 01:02:04,156 - Yes? - Mr Pallazzo? 676 01:02:04,260 --> 01:02:07,953 I am the head usher. I am here to... Excuse me. 677 01:02:13,637 --> 01:02:17,083 - Mr Pallazzo? - Yes? 678 01:02:17,188 --> 01:02:21,173 - I am the head usher. - One second. 679 01:02:21,277 --> 01:02:22,757 Ladies and gentlemen, 680 01:02:22,861 --> 01:02:27,178 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 681 01:02:27,282 --> 01:02:29,678 on the occasion of the royal visit, 682 01:02:29,783 --> 01:02:33,269 please welcome internationally-renowned opera star, 683 01:02:33,374 --> 01:02:35,773 Enrico Pallazzo! 684 01:02:38,704 --> 01:02:42,195 Ladies and gentlemen, let us honour America, 685 01:02:42,299 --> 01:02:48,246 as Mr Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 686 01:04:09,877 --> 01:04:13,950 And now we'll wait for the exchange of line-ups 687 01:04:14,055 --> 01:04:16,337 and the start of today's ball game. 688 01:04:24,809 --> 01:04:29,554 Excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 689 01:04:32,859 --> 01:04:36,433 The Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd! 690 01:04:36,537 --> 01:04:40,814 And the fans are being entertained by the stadium's Angel Vision, 691 01:04:40,918 --> 01:04:44,776 showing some unusual moments in baseball over the years! 692 01:05:05,058 --> 01:05:07,097 Sorry, fellas! 693 01:05:34,962 --> 01:05:37,250 How about that? 694 01:05:39,007 --> 01:05:40,789 Ladies and gentlemen, 695 01:05:40,893 --> 01:05:45,427 now taking the field - your California Angels! 696 01:05:52,270 --> 01:05:55,345 For everybody's safety, 697 01:05:55,450 --> 01:05:59,680 we ask that you do not throw any objects on the field. 698 01:05:59,784 --> 01:06:02,269 We thank you for your co-operation. 699 01:06:04,950 --> 01:06:09,484 As the Angels take the field, we're ready for the first pitch ceremony 700 01:06:09,588 --> 01:06:13,577 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 701 01:06:17,004 --> 01:06:21,076 How about that? Let's have a round of applause! 702 01:06:21,181 --> 01:06:23,577 We're ready for the start, 703 01:06:23,681 --> 01:06:26,624 as these lovely ladies would agree. 704 01:06:26,728 --> 01:06:30,256 Those are the players' wives, here to enjoy the game. 705 01:06:38,233 --> 01:06:41,390 What d'you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 706 01:06:41,495 --> 01:06:43,102 Do what? 707 01:06:43,206 --> 01:06:44,988 Play ball! 708 01:06:48,118 --> 01:06:51,072 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 709 01:06:56,043 --> 01:07:00,503 The game's under way. Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay Johnstone! 710 01:07:19,899 --> 01:07:23,056 - Nothing to report. - Don't worry, Al. 711 01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:26,598 If one of the players is the killer, Frank'll find him, 712 01:07:26,702 --> 01:07:29,938 even if he has to search every one of them. 713 01:07:30,042 --> 01:07:33,397 ...lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone. 714 01:07:33,501 --> 01:07:37,486 Hello, pal. Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 715 01:07:37,590 --> 01:07:42,451 Good here. Now let's see the shirt. You should take a large. 716 01:07:42,555 --> 01:07:45,660 It's a little tight in the crotch. 717 01:07:45,764 --> 01:07:48,166 All right? All set? 718 01:07:50,429 --> 01:07:53,003 OK, play ball! 719 01:08:21,544 --> 01:08:23,004 Strike? 720 01:08:26,841 --> 01:08:29,129 Yeah, strike! 721 01:08:42,064 --> 01:08:44,984 Stee-rike two! 722 01:09:01,334 --> 01:09:04,670 Stee-rike three! 723 01:09:56,429 --> 01:09:58,256 You're clean! 724 01:11:48,999 --> 01:11:50,570 Have you found him yet? 725 01:11:50,674 --> 01:11:53,237 No, and I've searched almost everybody. 726 01:11:53,341 --> 01:11:57,493 Yeah. There's only one more out before the seventh inning stretch. 727 01:11:57,597 --> 01:12:02,081 You're going to have to stall them. Don't let 'em get that third out. 728 01:12:02,185 --> 01:12:03,430 Right. 729 01:12:05,432 --> 01:12:11,352 The Mariners' number four - Armando Criscione! Criscione! 730 01:12:18,570 --> 01:12:21,524 - Ball! - Ball? 731 01:12:31,959 --> 01:12:33,002 Ball! 732 01:12:44,847 --> 01:12:47,516 Get... get... what the? Get off! 733 01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,640 Catch it! Catch it! 734 01:12:55,107 --> 01:12:57,183 - Get 'em off! - Go, go, go! 735 01:13:01,447 --> 01:13:04,061 - Safe! - What do you mean, safe? 736 01:13:04,165 --> 01:13:06,281 I don't believe it! 737 01:13:08,370 --> 01:13:10,197 Second base! On two! 738 01:13:11,373 --> 01:13:13,443 There's a throw by the catcher 739 01:13:13,547 --> 01:13:16,950 and now they've got Criscione hung up between 1st and 2nd! 740 01:13:17,054 --> 01:13:19,160 What the hell are you doing? 741 01:13:19,264 --> 01:13:20,307 What? 742 01:13:20,507 --> 01:13:25,291 - You're not supposed to do that! - Wait a minute! Stop that! 743 01:13:25,396 --> 01:13:28,091 Put that back down! Give me the ball! 744 01:13:30,725 --> 01:13:32,340 I'll get you! 745 01:13:32,444 --> 01:13:34,715 It's hard to believe, 746 01:13:34,820 --> 01:13:38,513 but apparently the umpires have got Criscione in a run-down! 747 01:13:41,235 --> 01:13:42,973 - Safe! - Safe? 748 01:13:43,077 --> 01:13:44,474 How about that? 749 01:13:44,578 --> 01:13:46,393 - Out! - Safe! 750 01:13:46,497 --> 01:13:48,477 - Out! - He was safe! 751 01:13:48,581 --> 01:13:49,769 - Out! - Safe! 752 01:13:49,873 --> 01:13:52,360 There's a sight I've never seen! 753 01:13:54,123 --> 01:13:56,071 - Safe! - What are you doing? 754 01:13:56,175 --> 01:13:57,699 Safe! Safe! Safe! 755 01:13:57,803 --> 01:14:00,574 - He was out! - He was safe! 756 01:14:00,678 --> 01:14:03,451 You idiot! He was out! 757 01:14:03,556 --> 01:14:05,913 All right, you're out of here! 758 01:14:06,018 --> 01:14:09,085 - What? - You can't throw an umpire out! 759 01:14:09,189 --> 01:14:11,718 All right, YOU'RE out! 760 01:14:12,809 --> 01:14:16,965 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 761 01:14:17,069 --> 01:14:20,387 And he's up in the mezzanine! 762 01:14:20,491 --> 01:14:21,894 It's the third out! 763 01:14:39,252 --> 01:14:42,372 I must kill... the Queen. 764 01:14:47,051 --> 01:14:49,625 I must kill... the Queen. 765 01:14:52,348 --> 01:14:54,388 Frank, it's the right-fielder! 766 01:15:00,690 --> 01:15:04,430 - You're the boss! - It was safe. 767 01:15:04,534 --> 01:15:07,100 Now, we're going to take a walk. 768 01:15:07,488 --> 01:15:10,352 How could you do something so vicious? 769 01:15:10,456 --> 01:15:15,317 It was easy. Don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor. 770 01:15:15,421 --> 01:15:17,655 Now, let's go quietly. 771 01:15:22,170 --> 01:15:24,246 Hey, look at that! Let's get him! 772 01:15:35,515 --> 01:15:37,722 Kick him in the balls! 773 01:16:10,717 --> 01:16:13,718 I must kill... the Queen. 774 01:16:24,815 --> 01:16:26,642 Look out! 775 01:16:31,655 --> 01:16:35,978 The umpire... He saved the Queen's life! 776 01:16:36,082 --> 01:16:38,116 That's not the umpire, Your Honour. 777 01:16:42,291 --> 01:16:44,330 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 778 01:16:55,304 --> 01:16:58,378 Frank! Frank, help! 779 01:16:58,483 --> 01:17:01,474 Frank! Frank, help! Frank! 780 01:17:16,241 --> 01:17:18,144 Hold it, Ludwig! 781 01:17:18,248 --> 01:17:20,607 Stay where you are! 782 01:17:20,711 --> 01:17:23,151 - He's got a gun! - I know. 783 01:17:23,255 --> 01:17:26,944 You ruined my life. Now I'm going to ruin yours. 784 01:17:27,048 --> 01:17:30,035 - Leave the girl alone! - I am. I'm going to kill you. 785 01:17:30,139 --> 01:17:31,381 I see. 786 01:17:35,593 --> 01:17:37,799 Two can play at that game! 787 01:17:44,352 --> 01:17:47,215 - You killed him! - No, just stunned. 788 01:17:47,319 --> 01:17:49,270 He'll be all right. 789 01:17:55,655 --> 01:17:57,114 Well... 790 01:18:22,932 --> 01:18:26,016 Frank... it's horrible! 791 01:18:27,228 --> 01:18:31,356 - It's so horrible! - I know, Ed. 792 01:18:31,983 --> 01:18:34,022 My father went the same way. 793 01:18:49,709 --> 01:18:53,910 I must kill... Frank Drebin. 794 01:18:54,014 --> 01:18:57,089 I must kill... Frank Drebin. 795 01:18:58,175 --> 01:19:00,417 No, no, don't shoot! 796 01:19:00,761 --> 01:19:04,515 Jane... it's me... 797 01:19:06,976 --> 01:19:08,379 Funny-face. 798 01:19:08,484 --> 01:19:12,301 I must kill Frank Drebin. 799 01:19:12,405 --> 01:19:15,178 You love Frank Drebin. 800 01:19:15,282 --> 01:19:18,267 And Frank Drebin loves you. 801 01:19:18,372 --> 01:19:22,269 Jane, if you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 802 01:19:22,374 --> 01:19:28,149 because without you, I wouldn't want to live anyway. 803 01:19:28,253 --> 01:19:31,693 I've finally found someone I can love - 804 01:19:31,798 --> 01:19:35,949 a good, clean love... without utensils. 805 01:19:36,053 --> 01:19:38,882 I must kill Frank Drebin. 806 01:19:40,050 --> 01:19:42,413 It's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 807 01:19:42,518 --> 01:19:47,128 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 808 01:19:47,232 --> 01:19:50,758 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 809 01:19:52,270 --> 01:19:56,804 Since I met you, I've noticed things I never knew where there - 810 01:19:56,908 --> 01:20:00,640 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, 811 01:20:00,744 --> 01:20:03,101 stop lights... 812 01:20:03,205 --> 01:20:04,851 I must kill... 813 01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:08,312 Jane, this morning... 814 01:20:08,417 --> 01:20:12,612 I bought something for you. It's not very much, 815 01:20:12,717 --> 01:20:17,824 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 816 01:20:17,928 --> 01:20:19,869 It's an engagement ring. 817 01:20:19,973 --> 01:20:21,996 I'd have given it to you earlier, 818 01:20:22,100 --> 01:20:25,342 but I wanted to wait until we were alone. 819 01:20:29,516 --> 01:20:32,517 - I... - I love you, Jane. 820 01:20:37,941 --> 01:20:39,768 Oh, Frank! 821 01:20:52,205 --> 01:20:54,291 I'm sorry! 822 01:21:05,051 --> 01:21:09,547 I'm sorry that I yelled at you yesterday, I really am. 823 01:21:11,516 --> 01:21:12,881 Drebin! 824 01:21:12,985 --> 01:21:15,635 I was wrong about you. 825 01:21:15,739 --> 01:21:19,846 This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude. 826 01:21:19,951 --> 01:21:21,134 Thank you. 827 01:21:21,238 --> 01:21:24,558 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad... 828 01:21:24,663 --> 01:21:28,645 - with a promotion to captain. - Mayor... 829 01:21:28,749 --> 01:21:33,442 Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 830 01:21:33,546 --> 01:21:35,902 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 831 01:21:36,006 --> 01:21:38,862 The doc says I should be on my feet in a week! 832 01:21:38,966 --> 01:21:42,875 - And back on the Force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 833 01:21:44,215 --> 01:21:47,500 Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you! 834 01:21:48,305 --> 01:21:54,201 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org