1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,080 Camera shutter clicks 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,040 shutter clicks 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,600 shutter clicks 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,560 shutter clicks 7 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,240 Shutter clicks 8 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,440 shutter clicks 9 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,080 Shutter clicks 10 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,000 shutter clicks 11 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,240 shutter clicks 12 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,920 shutter clicks 13 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,440 shutter clicks 14 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,440 shutter clicks 15 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,600 shutter clicks 16 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,440 shutter clicks 17 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,639 What is it? What does it mean? What? 18 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,719 Diy. Do it yourself. 19 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,039 I know, but it's not plumbing, 20 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,079 not messing about with black & Decker drills. 21 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,080 It might be. Tell me. 22 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,319 Do it yourself. I know. 23 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,759 Well, that's what it is. What? 24 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,399 Do it yourself. 25 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,960 No, still don't get it. 26 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,679 She squeals 27 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,959 ho, ho, ho. Oh, I see, do it yourself! 28 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,119 That's filthy, really filthy. How do you know that? 29 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,240 I didn't know. How do you know these things? 30 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,719 And o-levels. What are o-levels? Ssh. 31 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,919 Why? Why shush? Don't tell me to shush. O-levels are exams. 32 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,079 What my David's doing at his private school. He's doing his o-levels. 33 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,399 Here you are. 34 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,119 Do you enjoy it, June? What? 35 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,999 Sex. When I get it. What about you? 36 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,639 Wet knickers and missed periods. 37 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,039 First time I had it, 38 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,360 I thought I'd been knocked down by a brewer's dray. 39 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,079 Eh! Rose! 40 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,999 You bugger! 41 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,960 You owe me rent. 42 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,840 Bloody tart! 43 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,040 Can you cover for me? I've got to go out. What, now? 44 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,719 Bcsd. Bcsd. 45 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,439 Christine, bcsd. 46 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,040 Oh, Christmas! 47 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,919 Oh, thanks, babe. 48 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,199 What about tonight? What about the weekend? 49 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,199 The Dorchester. David's sports day. 50 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,919 Dinner and dance. Very nice. 51 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,599 And put your best frock on. 52 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,560 Bcsd. Bcsd. 53 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,960 Telephone rings 54 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,519 hello. 55 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,399 Oh, yes, that's right. 56 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,919 Yes. Yes, ginette is 22. 57 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,119 She has a full but firm 36-24-36 figure 58 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,519 and offers a full personal service. 59 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,519 You will like her. 60 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,119 Ginette has devastating revealing photos, 61 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,599 caters for party lovers, and offers a full theatrical wardrobe. 62 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,399 French maid, nurse, gymslip, that kind of thing. 63 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,519 Mild cp and other games. 64 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,919 Executive fun for the over 40s. 65 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,919 Kinky but not cruel. 66 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,319 Why not pop round? 67 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,440 Good. Bye-bye. 68 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,440 Excuse me. Thank you. Sorry. 69 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,439 Door buzzer 70 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,239 forgot my keys. 71 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,599 See you later. Make yourself at home. Ha ha! 72 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,919 Oops, excuse me. 73 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,439 Good afternoon. Good afternoon. 74 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,239 You have an appointment with the governess. Is that correct? 75 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,079 No, that is not correct. 76 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,840 I have an appointment with the nanny. 77 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,519 Mr marples, for the nanny. 78 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,839 I thought mr marples was for house of pain. 79 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,639 No, winkie-poos and bot-bots. 80 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,880 Oh, god! It's taken me an hour to get into this lot. 81 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,240 Baby cries 82 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,639 Gotcha! Oh! 83 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,560 Where's my bloody rent? 84 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,560 I want my... 85 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,240 They grunt 86 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,239 man: Miss painter? 87 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,919 Rent. You owe me rent. It's the rent man. I heard him. 88 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,839 Miss painter, I know you're in there. Open up. 89 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,639 I want my rent. I want my rent, do you hear me? 90 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:10,239 R-e-n-t spells rent. I know you're in there. 91 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,480 Miss painter. 92 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:17,160 Rent by Friday or I send in the heavy mob. See how you like it. 93 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,839 Rent. 94 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,479 Oh, gawd, I'm sorry, Christine. I ain't done the business. 95 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,479 I've had the curse, and the flu. 96 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,679 Terrible flu, and the curse as well. 97 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,479 Business is terrible. 98 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,759 I'm here all on my own. 99 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,079 There's the phone to answer, the door, the client to service. 100 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,959 Then get a maid. I'd better go before someone steals the baby. 101 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,679 What are you doing with that? My one's broke. 102 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,519 I'll get you one. What? 103 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,119 A maid. You? 104 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,160 First thing Monday morning. Get your knickers into gear. 105 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,720 Buzzer 106 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,159 Yes? Oh, is... is Melanie here? 107 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,480 No, she's not. 108 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,320 Yes? Are you free at the moment? 109 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,159 Are you a married man? Yes. 110 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,279 What about your wife, then? What's wrong with her? 111 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,959 Well, we've not had sex for 23 years. 112 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,800 Are you available? 113 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,440 What do you think I am? 114 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,559 Mr popozogolou. Miss painter. 115 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,959 How convenient to find you at home. 116 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,559 May I come in? 117 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,599 Yes, of course. Come in. 118 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,880 This way, please. 119 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,040 Come in, sit down, make yourself at home. 120 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,560 I suppose you're here for the rent. That is correct. 121 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:29,919 Miss painter, you are one week behind with the rent. 122 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,519 One whole week. I haven't got it, but I can get it. 123 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,319 I always pay my way. I believe in paying my own way. 124 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,160 That is very correct. 125 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,320 Miss painter... 126 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,599 ..You do not live here, do you? 127 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,999 I'd like to live here. 128 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,360 You are subletting, yes? I suppose so. 129 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,199 To what kind of person you are subletting? 130 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,119 Same as a lot of the other flats in this block. You should know. 131 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,919 Prostitutes. Tarts. 132 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:03,999 I see. 133 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,919 You're doing all right here. All these flats. What a racket. 134 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,840 Oh, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. 135 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,719 Miss painter, 136 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,119 what are you going to do about the rent? 137 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,319 I have a son at school, private school. I have to pay the fees. 138 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,240 I'll give it to you next week. 139 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,760 Why wait until next week? 140 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,240 Give me a week. 141 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,599 Why wait until next week when you can pay me now? 142 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,840 I can't pay you now. 143 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,240 The rent, miss painter. 144 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,360 It must be paid. 145 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,920 One way or another. 146 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,960 Oh. 147 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,599 I had a sexual encounter with my landlord today. 148 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,999 What brought that on? The rent. 149 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,599 Mr popozogolou. 150 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,599 That's his name. 151 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,519 Christine, get rid of 'em. 152 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,519 What? Those flats. Get rid of 'em, all of 'em. 153 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,319 She's right, Christine. If the cows paid the rent... 154 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240 They won't pay the rent. 155 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,999 You're the only ones that ever pay. 156 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,160 Look, bugger the girls. You get rid of those flats. 157 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,040 Dolly, have a look at this. 158 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,719 Ain't that lovely? 159 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,399 I could live in that. Yeah. 160 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,319 Here. What's this for? 161 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,119 It's a bit extra. You've already paid. You can't pay twice. 162 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,719 We've been using your living room as well as your bedroom. 163 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,199 We've been off our feet. 164 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:56,119 And I'm away for the next two weeks. Is that next week? 165 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,719 It's the next two weeks. I told you. 166 00:12:58,720 --> 00:12:59,999 I'm Saudi Arabia this weekend, 167 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,999 and then off down to Ron's mum in Brighton. 168 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,719 Saudi Arabia? 169 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,639 For the weekend. For the weekend? 170 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,159 She's got a sheik in Saudi Arabia. 104 if he's a day. 171 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,999 Flies me out when he gets Randy. Once every two years. 172 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,119 What about your sugar daddy? 173 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,359 The one with the big car. 174 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,759 He's got loads of money. What's his name? 175 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:22,199 Sydney. Bcsd. 176 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,440 What's bcsd? Big car, small dick. 177 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,199 It's true, Shirley. I can't find it. 178 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,959 I spend all my time rummaging inside his pyjamas 179 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,719 looking for his little Willy. 180 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,519 Too many things can go wrong with sex. Too many bits and pieces. 181 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,719 He takes you to nice places. There's no romance. 182 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,240 No dick. No dick. 183 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,919 Not like mr popozogolou. 184 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,199 He had a really funny one, mr popozogolou. 185 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,159 Marry him. Keep you laughing. 186 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,199 It was like... it wasn't long, but my god, it was... 187 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,999 What's that German sausage called? 188 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,839 Salami. Liverwurst. 189 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,719 Liverwurst. It was like a lump of liverwurst. It was like that. 190 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,599 He wanted me to put it in his mouth. Can you imagine? 191 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,239 His mouth? My mouth. You know. 192 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,519 What did you do? 193 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,959 I went down and had a look. And then what? 194 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,599 I came back up again bloody quick. 195 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,719 I couldn't do it for love, let alone money. 196 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,759 So what did you do? I did him with my hand. This one. 197 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,919 A hand job? That's right. 198 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,279 A wank. A popozogolou. 199 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,840 A popozogolou! 200 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,519 It... it went... 201 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,640 It went... brrrp! 202 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,719 Just like that. 203 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,040 Really high. I mean, even he was surprised. 204 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,559 I'll pay. I need a wee. 205 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,919 He's a nice man, mr popozogolou. I felt sorry for him. 206 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,879 What are you doing the next couple of weeks? 207 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,199 I thought I might knit a cardie. 208 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,799 You know Rose? Scrag-end Rose? 209 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,319 Could you maid for her until she finds somebody else? 210 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,599 No. Why not? 211 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,560 She's a scrubber. I wouldn't maid for no scrubber. 212 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,999 Oh, here's Ron. 213 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,319 Hello, Ron. All right, doll? 214 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,199 Come on, we'd better go, love. See you. 215 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:18,719 'She's a young model of 21, a petite figure, but very sexy. 216 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,719 'You will like her. 217 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,199 'That is correct. Yes. She offers a full personal service. 218 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,439 'Sophisticated, discreet, and clean. 219 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,439 'Five o'clock last caller. Why not pop round? 220 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:35,399 We are 33, that's 3-3, pierpoint street. 221 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,240 That's right, as in Albert. 222 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,760 Hope to see you, then. 223 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,159 God, I'm freezing! 224 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,639 What man in his right mind 225 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,399 wants to get his cock out in this weather? 226 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,399 Hi. 227 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,319 What are you doing here? We've got one. 228 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,319 What? Client. I'm your new maid. 229 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,719 You? A prostitute's maid? Why not? 230 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,599 Get a move on. You've got a client. Bugger him. I need a coffee. 231 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,199 Listen to me. I've chucked in my job at the cafe for this. 232 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,199 So get in here, get on your back, and get busy. 233 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,640 Well, who is it? I don't want no time wasters. 234 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,519 Oh, it's you. 235 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,799 All right. I'll do him first. 236 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,560 Come on. 237 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,360 Thanks. 238 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,240 Bloody hell! 239 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,919 That was quick. 240 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,560 See the man to the door, then. Yes, of course. 241 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,799 Thank you. Goodbye. Oh, thank you. Did you change your mind? 242 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,919 Pardon? 243 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,119 Did you change your mind? 244 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,760 No. 245 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,559 Oh, come again, then. 246 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,119 Nice to see you. Thank you. 247 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,560 Bye. Bye. 248 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,519 That was quick. "That was quick". 249 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,999 Piss off and make some coffee. 250 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,199 You look like Dracula's daughter. "That was quick". 251 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,199 It was quick. It was in and out, just like that. In, out. 252 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,559 You do, you look just like Dracula's daughter 253 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,119 in that outfit, you really do. 254 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,079 Oh, leave me alone. Just piss off, will you? 255 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,599 Piss off! Piss off yourself. 256 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,680 This is my flat. Speak to me like that! You can piss off yourself. 257 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:56,719 Right. I will. 258 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,399 I've got better things to do. 259 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,119 I'm not freezing my tits off in this dump. 260 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,719 You can stick it up your gonger. Eight weeks' rent. 261 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,199 No, no, you said piss off, and piss off I shall. 262 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,519 Eight weeks' rent. 263 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,719 Here. You reckon you're so bloody juicy. 264 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,799 Get on your back and earn it yourself. 265 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,360 Cow! 266 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,360 Hello? No, she's not here. 267 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,240 No. No, she's gone to a health farm. 268 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,440 Oh, yes, we are. 269 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,240 If you ring tomorrow, there'll be a new girl on. 270 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,160 Sentimental music on radio 271 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,440 Dracula's daughter. 272 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,239 Can I come in, babe? 273 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,160 Gawd, Sydney, do I need it? 274 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,439 What do you want, Sydney? It's the middle of the night. 275 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,679 What do you want? 276 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,799 Oh, babe. I've been thinking, babe. I'm not a babe, Sydney. 277 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,119 I'm not your babe or anybody else's baby, all right? 278 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:52,279 I know you're not, babe. What do you want? 279 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,319 I've come to ask you to marry me. 280 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,199 Oh, dear. 281 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,960 No, I know it's not a very good idea. I know it's not. 282 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,680 But if you think about it, it is. 283 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,799 You need somebody, 284 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,519 somebody to look after you. 285 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,199 I've got loads of money. 286 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,399 You know, loads. 287 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,240 And no-one to share it with. 288 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,160 I could look after you. 289 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,399 Say yes, and I'll open a bottle right now. 290 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,919 Pop, just like that. 291 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,840 Bottle of bubbly. 292 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,040 I bought you some flowers. 293 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,160 Think about it, babe. 294 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,040 When you wake in the morning and see these flowers... 295 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,640 ..Think about it. 296 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,440 There's a bottle of bubbly waiting. There. 297 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,919 One on the way, dear. One on the way! 298 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,199 Ha, ha! I hope not. Dolly, I can't stop piddling. Where's the gin? 299 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,119 You don't have to do it. What's sex ever done for me? 300 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,919 Up the duff at 16. That's no reason. 301 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,519 If you don't want to do it, don't. 302 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:12,599 Knock at door gah! 303 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,399 Pull yourself together, do. Go on, get in there. 304 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,840 Go on. 305 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,919 Dolly, I need another widdle. 306 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,600 How much do I charge? Leave that to me. Go on! 307 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,039 Ready, dear? 308 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,519 Oh! 309 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,519 I'm ready. 310 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,440 You don't look it. I'm ready. 311 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,199 Ooh! Ooh! 312 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,599 Oh, it's you. 313 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,399 Fancy meeting you here. 314 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,999 We know each other. Come in, come in. 315 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,399 Thank you. 316 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,840 It's all right, Dolly. Shut your mouth. Go on. It's all right. 317 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,919 Well, fancy meeting you here. 318 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,440 Caught up with you at last, eh? 319 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,239 Would you like a cup of tea? 320 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,119 Pardon? Would you like a cup of tea? 321 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,119 Have two. No extra charge. I've only got a short time. 322 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,440 Oh. Business. 323 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,599 What line of business are you in? 324 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,799 Double glazing. Double glazing? Well, I never. 325 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,360 Yes. 326 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,599 What a lot of job satisfaction there must be... 327 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,039 In... double glazing. 328 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,519 Bringing all that extra warmth into people's lives. 329 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,039 You've not had sex for 23 years, have you? 330 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,079 Pardon? 331 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,279 You told me. No, with my wife. 332 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,119 I've not had sex with my wife for 23 years. 333 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,439 Oh. 334 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,639 She's an invalid. 335 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,440 I'm sorry. 23 years. That must get very frustrating for you. 336 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,599 Your maid said you give excellent French? 337 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,400 Oh, yes, very good. Every time. 338 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,199 Just exactly how do you like your French? 339 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,599 Well, I'd like you to wear bright red lipstick, if you can. 340 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,279 Really? I'm willing to pay extra for that. 341 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,479 Right. Ah, oh, no. 342 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,440 Er, just a minute. 343 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,199 Dolly. Dolly, we've got no doodahs. 344 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,839 No, you know, contraventives. 345 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,679 Contraventives? Yes, you know... 346 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,079 Doodahs. Oh, French letters. 347 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,960 That's it. Plonkers. We've got no plonkers, Dolly. 348 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,159 I look a right bloody tart in this. 349 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,440 Here you are. Get a move on. 350 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,879 These are black. Dolly, these are black. I know. 351 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,479 They're for black men. 352 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,399 No, chinamen use them all the time. Do they? 353 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,879 Bloody Ada! 354 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,879 He's a lovely man. Brings happiness to millions with double glazing. 355 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,959 He's not had sex for 23 years. 356 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,559 Telephone rings 357 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,640 right. 358 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,840 Do you think this looks nice? Oh, yes. 359 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,280 I prefer it in a chair, if you don't mind. 360 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,799 In a chair? 361 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,240 Yes. 362 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,440 I've never done it in a chair. 363 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,799 Now, where would you like me, exactly? Well... 364 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,600 With me myself sitting, and you kneeling. 365 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,759 You want me to sit? 366 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:07,799 No, I'm sitting. 367 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,720 Where am I? Kneeling. 368 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,279 Kneeling? Yes, I'm sitting and you're kneeling. 369 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,680 On the floor. 370 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,320 On the floor? I find that's the best way. 371 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,599 I see. You'll have to wear one of these. What, for French? 372 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,199 Do you think I want to get pregnant? 373 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,679 How can you get pregnant? Very easily indeed. 374 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,920 That's not what I want. I should think not. What do you want? 375 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,039 A blow job. 376 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,279 Please. 377 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,679 Deep throat. 378 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,280 If possible. 379 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,720 Oh. 380 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,040 That's why I wanted the lipstick. 381 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,120 Well, you'll still have to wear one of these. 382 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,800 Very well. 383 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,040 Do you see what I'm wearing? 384 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,640 You like that, don't you? 385 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,319 Yes, I do. Do you like my legs? 386 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,879 Yes. 387 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,920 Do you? Yes, I do. 388 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,920 Come here. Come a bit closer. 389 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,360 Now, I want you to kneel, there's a good boy... 390 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,440 ..But not to touch my lovely legs. 391 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,879 They're lovely. Yes. 392 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,799 Very smooth. 393 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,879 Just here, above the stocking. Yes. 394 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,319 Very smooth. 395 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,399 There, look. Get closer. 396 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,520 But not to touch. 397 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:12,120 Now, I'm going to give you something very special. 398 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,920 Very special indeed. 399 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:22,479 It's called a popozogolou. 400 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,479 Thank you, dear. Thank you. 401 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,440 Oh. 402 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,399 She's nice. 403 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,440 She's very nice indeed. Good. 404 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,079 One here, another on the way, dear. Bloody Ada! Hang on. 405 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,599 Stinks like a bleeding brothel in here. You all right? 406 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,479 Like a concert pianist. We're going to need lots of tissues. 407 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,879 She's not quite ready, dear. 408 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,399 I'm ready. Come in. Sit down. Lie down. 409 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,520 Make yourself comfortable. Thank you, Dolly. 410 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,839 You're busy. Never a dull moment. 411 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,239 What's on offer? Well... 412 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,799 I have been doing French, 413 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,119 but there's a special on today - a popozogolou. 414 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,479 Very tasty. I'm sure you won't be disappointed. 415 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,879 How much? 416 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,040 Oh, Dolly deals with that. Dolly deals with the lolly! 417 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,439 Who's Dolly? 418 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,079 Her outside. She's my maid. 419 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,079 Your maid? I see. And she deals with the money? 420 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,560 That's right. 421 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,840 Get back to you on this one, all right? Oh, yes. 422 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,599 Everything all right, dear? 423 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,039 I discuss the price with you, right? If you want, yes. 424 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,279 Good. 425 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,360 See you later. 426 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,279 Funny man. Gangster. 427 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,160 Sexy bugger. 428 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,799 Da-da! Shirley! 429 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,879 Christine. Dolly, look who's here. 430 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,519 I can see. Dolly. 431 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,639 Another couple of weeks, Dolly, we'll have one. 432 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,079 Listen to her. What's she doing? 433 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,919 French polishing. Put yourself in the hands of an expert. 434 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,919 Her doing French? I don't even know what it means. 435 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,399 I don't. I just copied it off another notice. 436 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,840 Christine, French polishing! 437 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,599 What? Is that what it is? French polishing? Oh, bloody Ada! 438 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,799 I'd better change that notice quick. Er, excuse me, ladies. 439 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,079 Morton, ex-wing commander, retired. 440 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,919 Oh, yes. You rang. That is correct. 441 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,199 I have a dilapidated piece of mahogany veneer 442 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,279 in dire need of renovation. 443 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,279 Can you help? What? Yes, come on. 444 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,279 Soon Polish it up for you. Oh, jolly good. 445 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,240 Step this way. Have it looking like new in no time. 446 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,279 Wing commander! Don't believe a word of it. 447 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,879 207 missions over occupied territory, 448 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,679 madam, in bra and panties. 449 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,199 Shut up! Yes, madam. 450 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,199 Filthy mind. Yes, madam. 451 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,599 Quite a shine on that. Indeed. 452 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,079 It's coming along nicely, auntie Christine. 453 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,399 Would you like a go? Oh, no, no. You're doing very nicely. 454 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,639 Why not do it together? 455 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,119 You dirty old sod. Yes, madam, I'm certainly that, madam. 456 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,359 Oh! Police, love. 457 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,920 You're nicked. 458 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,840 Pass me a tissue, wing commander, there's a dear. 459 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,679 They've dropped the brothel and immoral earnings charges. 460 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,799 Insufficient evidence. That lets you off, Dolly. 461 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,079 That only leaves the charge for soliciting. 462 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,279 You'll be in and out in two minutes. 463 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,479 How? How was I soliciting? A doddle. Just plead guilty. 464 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,319 I was on the pavement, looking at your arab's car. 465 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,399 I was not soliciting. Par for the course, dear. 466 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,199 Look at all these men. 467 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,959 I know all their secrets. That's why they want to lock us up. 468 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,079 Don't get deep, Dolly. Will it be in the Harlow new town gazette? 469 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,679 I can see my dad's face. My sister's wedding, Saturday. 470 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,920 He's a nasty little shit. Needs a good whipping! 471 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,479 What are you looking at? You looking at my tits? 472 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,799 He's looking at my tits. Arrest him for looking at my tits. 473 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,639 Too young to be a policeman. Still a virgin. 474 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,399 Bet you could change all that. 475 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,360 Woman: Painter, please. Painter. Painter! 476 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,879 Drive a car? Yeah. 477 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,359 Drive a big car, do you? Yeah. 478 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,879 Thought so. 479 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,880 We're on. Right. Guilty. 480 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,680 Guilty. All my fault. 481 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,879 What do you reckon? 482 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,000 She'll need a holiday after this lot. 483 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,759 She's very good. 484 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,600 I never said she wasn't. 485 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,399 What news, ladies? What are you doing here? 486 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,519 Interested party. Character witness. Has she gone in yet? 487 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,079 Just put your bum down there. Thank you. 488 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,720 Hello, shirl. Hello, love. 489 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,199 She's good, you know. She's got talent. 490 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,879 That is correct. How do you know? 491 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,279 I'm an expert in these matters. 492 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,759 We should go in together, the three of us. 493 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,399 Take that big flat of hers, the one with the pink bedroom. 494 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,799 Cater for kinks? Popozogolous and gymslips. 50 quid a throw. 495 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,239 Strictly kinky people. 496 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,040 The future lies in kinky people. 497 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,279 Guilty! 498 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,079 Ah, madam... 499 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,000 Guilty! 500 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,320 Come on. 501 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,840 Know his problem? I can read him, no trouble. Can't get it up. 502 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,159 God knows why I'm sitting in the front. 503 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,919 Royalty in the back, dear. Pull over, Sydney. 504 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,239 Over there. What? 505 00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,480 "What?" you'll be saying balls to the general next. Over there! 506 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,679 Come on, David. In. 507 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,399 Why do I have to wear my school uniform? 508 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,680 You'll wear your uniform. Put your cap on. In. 509 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,279 You're all crooked. 510 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,719 There we are. That's better. Give us a smile. 511 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,239 Pull up. 512 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,359 Where? In front of the church, for goodness' sake! 513 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,839 I can't park there. Yes, you can. Pull up. 514 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,559 You need a chauffeur, that's what you need. You keep quiet. 515 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,839 And a Butler. You and your little Willy, keep quiet. 516 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,159 What? Balls to the general. Shut up. 517 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,679 I haven't got a little Willy. It's your most striking feature. 518 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,040 Fine conversation to be having in front of your son. 519 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,119 Hello. Hello, auntie winnie. Hello, darling. 520 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,239 Come on, get a bloody move on. 521 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,639 Cap. 522 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,359 I can see your knickers, Dolly. 523 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,559 Horn honks 524 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,559 hello, dad. 525 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,559 Hello, Lizzie. We're here! 526 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,839 I thought it must be you. Hello. 527 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,799 Oh, you look lovely, Lizzie, you really do. 528 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,959 I wish it was me. Mum should be here, shouldn't she? 529 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,239 I wish mum was here to see you now. I'm going to watch you get out. 530 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:52,879 She looks lovely. She really does. It's the veil that does it. 531 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,759 Look at my dad. That's my dad. 532 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,320 I need a leak, babe. Disgusting. 533 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,719 Gotcha! 534 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:05,039 Give us a kiss, come on. Cheer up. Don't cover me in lipstick. 535 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,919 Why don't you go into church? I wish mum could see this. 536 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,999 You look so smart. Oh, don't go on. She's been dead 19 years. 537 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,439 It's still a pity she missed it. 538 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,399 David, come and say hello to your grandad. 539 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,919 This is your sister's day. I wish it was me. 540 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,119 I don't want it spoilt for her. Never mind, dad. 541 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,839 Three pairs of knickers and that smile, 542 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,480 nothing will get through to Lizzie. 543 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,720 Good luck. 544 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,519 Organ plays 545 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,040 put it on. We're in church. 546 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,000 Take it off, then. Take it off. 547 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,479 It's the old bill. 548 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,519 That's Edgar. My sister's marrying a copper - silly cow. 549 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,200 Takes all sorts. 550 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,719 What are you doing here? What do you mean? 551 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,759 Aren't you Jewish? What? 552 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,039 Because if you are you're not supposed to be in here. 553 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,279 It's a church. 554 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,400 I know it's a church. And I'm not Jewish. 555 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,599 Before we begin, a word about photographs. 556 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,079 As a Mark of respect to Edgar and Elizabeth, 557 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,959 I would ask the congregation to refrain from taking photographs 558 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,000 until the signing of the register. 559 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,919 We have come together in the presence of god... 560 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:10,959 To witness the marriage of Edgar and Elizabeth. 561 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:16,800 To ask his blessing on them and to share in their joy. 562 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,960 Bells toll 563 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,320 Cheering and applause 564 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:34,760 lovely. 565 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,679 Cheering 566 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,040 lovely. Lovely, Lizzie. 567 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,200 No confetti, please. No confetti. 568 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,159 He's a widower, so watch your step. Oh, really? 569 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,359 Never married. Well, not since mum died. 570 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,999 Confirmed bachelor. 19 years. 571 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,680 What a waste. Thank you. 572 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,239 Your friend has excellent taste, Christine. 573 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,640 David's over there somewhere, dad. 574 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,159 Congratulations. I like your dress. Thank you. 575 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,759 Straight out of woman's realm. And Edgar. Edgar, this is Dolores. 576 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,479 How do you do? Congratulations. I hope you'll be very happy. 577 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,559 Thank you, Dolores. Thank you very much. 578 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,279 You don't know my mother? No, I don't. 579 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,439 This is my mum. Oh! 580 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,999 I didn't think she'd still be alive. 581 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,639 Well I never. This is Edgar's mother, Dolly. Hello, dear. 582 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,919 Come on, Dolly. 583 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,000 Let's circulate. Find ourselves a husband. 584 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,239 Oh, god, that's better. Running buffet? It's more like a stampede. 585 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,839 She's a mean cow, my sister. 586 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,039 Tuppence says there's marg in the bridge rolls. 587 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,639 Oh, god. She's got it all organised. 588 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,039 And Edgar! Have you ever seen anything more boring than Edgar? 589 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,039 What a fart, eh? 590 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,760 There's no loo roll in here. Can... 591 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,479 Argh! 592 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,839 Dolly! 593 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,559 Dolly. Oh, Dolly, you've... 594 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,439 You... you've got a Willy... Dolly! 595 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,599 You're a man, Dolly. No, I'm not. 596 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,559 And there's no paper in here either. 597 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,359 But you've got a Willy. I know I have. 598 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,559 Let me have a look. Show me. Let me have another look. 599 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,359 Oh, all right. It's nothing to be proud of, you know. 600 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,400 There it is. 601 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,559 Argh! 602 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,919 She laughs 603 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,400 oh, dear. 604 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:51,080 It's not a laughing matter. 605 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,359 How could you? What? 606 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,159 Don't play dumb with me, Christine. You know exactly what I mean. 607 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,559 What's the matter, dad? How could you do this to me? 608 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,599 How could you bring a sexual pervert to your sister's wedding? 609 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,279 Who? Who? Who do you think? 610 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,439 Dolly's not a pervert, are you, Dolly? 611 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,439 You think it's normal, a man prancing round in a woman's skirt? 612 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,599 I didn't know she was a man. I'm not a man. 613 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,599 Just leave, the pair of you. I can handle this. 614 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,879 Oh, poor little Lizzie. I knew you were going to cause trouble! 615 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,559 You're disgusting! I hope I never see you again! 616 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,559 Oh, thank you very much, Elizabeth. You've spoilt everything. 617 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,039 Don't upset yourself. Ever since I was born! 618 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,759 Can you hear this? I hate you! 619 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,279 It's us that needs protecting... From her mouth. That's enough. 620 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,919 Just stand clear when she opens her gob. 621 00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,319 Right. Just one moment. Steady, Edgar. 622 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,799 I was against this from the start. Now I know I was right. 623 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,799 This is my brother-in-law. Christine. 624 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,039 If I was on duty and in uniform, 625 00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,919 I'd take a very serious view of this matter. 626 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,279 But you are in uniform. 627 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,439 It's no use, Edgar, she's always been like this. 628 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,119 Charges can be brought for this kinda thing. Oh, dear. 629 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,519 Dolly, don't be a silly cow. Stay here. Where are you going? 630 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,679 The toilet. I need a wee. Oh, no, you're not. 631 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,639 Stay out of the ladies lavatory... And the gents. 632 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,559 You piddle where you want. Is there a handicapped toilet? 633 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,759 You stay out of all toilets. 634 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,359 Stupid fart! 635 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,839 This is a very silly conversation. 636 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,359 And you are a very naughty boy. 637 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,559 And you know what happens to naughty boys, now, don't you? 638 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,120 Come along, Dolly. You too, Christine. 639 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,480 David! 640 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,439 What's all the rush, doll? 641 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,839 I was just beginning to enjoy myself. 642 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,800 What's going on? 643 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,879 Excuse me, is this your car? 644 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,200 It's not bloody stole, if that's what you mean. Cheeky bugger. 645 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:21,800 Dad. 646 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:27,120 Dad. Come here, dad. 647 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,040 I'm sorry, dad, I really am. 648 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,760 When I came here today I was happy. 649 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,839 I really was. 650 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,560 Come on. Don't be like this, dad. 651 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,480 Don't upset yourself. 652 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,360 It's your day today too, you know. 653 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,880 I'd do anything to make you happy. 654 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,560 I'm so sorry. 655 00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,119 Come on. 656 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,680 I'm sorry. 657 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,560 Kiss me a kiss and say you love me. 658 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,719 You spoilt it for her. How could you do it? 659 00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:09,439 She spoilt it for herself. What do you mean? 660 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:10,959 Look who she married. 661 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,839 There you go again. Oh, come on, dad. 662 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,319 He's a box of farts and well you know it. 663 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,639 You can't say that. I just have. 664 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,639 It's a respectable marriage. 665 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,719 He's a... he's a police superintendent and a freemason. 666 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:29,239 He's a bumhole, dad. A fart in a box. 667 00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:31,439 And he doesn't hang around with sexual perverts. 668 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,639 How do you know? Listen to your mouth. You should be ashamed. 669 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,039 Well, I'm not. That's what's wrong with you. 670 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,519 Dad. 671 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,239 I'm not a bloody baby any more. That's what's wrong with Lizzie. 672 00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:44,919 I'm a woman. I've had babies and abortions. 673 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,839 Abortions? Yes. 674 00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,519 Why didn't you tell me? Abortions! Why didn't you tell me? 675 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:50,879 None of your bloody business. 676 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,119 I told you I was up the duff, you spat in my face. 677 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,039 That was different. How many bastards can one girl take? 678 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,239 How can you talk like that? He's your son. 679 00:47:58,240 --> 00:48:00,839 And you're telling me that, are you? 680 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:02,239 You've noticed, have you? 681 00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,839 You do surprise me. What's that supposed to mean? 682 00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,279 You know what I mean. You've not so much as looked at him 683 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:08,359 since we got here. 684 00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:10,919 No. You've not looked at him for 14 years. 685 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,519 No. You've not looked at him, not spoke to him. 686 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,719 Not a hello, not so much as a whisper. 687 00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:17,639 You make me feel like nothing. 688 00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,919 What do you think I've been doing all day? He's your grandson. 689 00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,119 This is your sister's wedding. He's your only grandson. 690 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,479 How many pups are that pair are gonna spawn? 691 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,280 At least their children'll have a father. 692 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680 God, dad, you're such a liar. 693 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,119 Look at you. 694 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,080 You're such a bloody liar. 695 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,239 Mum would never have treated me like this. 696 00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:45,719 The news would have killed her... If she hadn't been dead already. 697 00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:47,960 She'd have slammed the door in your face. 698 00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,319 I'm a prostitute. 699 00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,239 There. 700 00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:57,319 Spread that round the freemasons. 701 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,639 Your daughter is a tart. 702 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,639 On the game. 703 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,319 Spread that round the next lodge meeting. I'd be glad of the custom. 704 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:09,039 My friend Shirley, my best friend Shirley, is a tart. 705 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,719 And So am I. 706 00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:15,839 And Dolly, our best friend Dolly, is a prostitute's maid. 707 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,439 Always someone else's daughter, eh? 708 00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,839 Don't you call my boy a bastard again. 709 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,480 He's my son... and I love him. 710 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,760 You silly bugger! 711 00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,240 Heavy breathing 712 00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,920 pleasured moaning 713 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,960 I can't hear you! 714 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,839 Can you hear me? 715 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,320 Oh, hello! 716 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,360 Yes. Yes! 717 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:18,719 It's hot. 718 00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:20,680 Yes. 719 00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,919 I've got a bit of a rash. 720 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,280 A rash! 721 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,280 There's bodies everywhere. Disgusting. 722 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,639 Hello? 723 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,519 Oh, pillocks. 724 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,319 Shirley? 725 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,080 Dolly? 726 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:43,519 Oh, sod it. 727 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,840 Out. 728 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:48,440 Out. 729 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,720 Come out! 730 00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,480 What have we here? 731 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,240 Can you keep it down a minute, Mac? Sorry. 732 00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,680 Now... what have we here, auntie Christine? 733 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:34,560 I've been a naughty boy. What? Speak up! 734 00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,039 I've been a naughty boy, Nana. Ha! 735 00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:41,519 Another naughty boy, eh? 736 00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:46,679 The world is full of naughty schoolboys. 737 00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,639 What's the naughty boy done? 738 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,639 I was late for school. 739 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,519 What? 740 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:58,520 Did you hear that, auntie Christine? Late for school. 741 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,000 This is very serious, auntie Christine. 742 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,920 I'm sorry, Nana. 743 00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:11,759 What does Nana do to little boys... 744 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,519 Who are late for school? 745 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,680 Tell me... what does she do? 746 00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,639 Gives them a smack, Nana. Correct. 747 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,920 Where? 748 00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:27,360 Where does she smack them? 749 00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:33,119 On their bot-bots. On their bot-bots. 750 00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,119 Yes. 751 00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:38,360 Every naughty boy gets a smack... 752 00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,560 ..On his bot-bot. 753 00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:46,360 Over. 754 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,280 Bend over. Yes, Nana. 755 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:53,960 Right over. Yes. 756 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,839 Please don't leave any marks. 757 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,839 Say thank you to Nana. 758 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,760 Thank you, nanny. 759 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,360 You... 760 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,360 ..Are a disgusting... 761 00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:17,160 ..Little... bugger! 762 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:22,720 He quivers 763 00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:27,400 oh, this is lovely. 764 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,759 All schoolgirls together. 765 00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,799 No boys. 766 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,280 Just girls. All together. 767 00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,319 Christine, if you ever need legal advice... 768 00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,119 Lionel's an excellent barrister, aren't you, Lionel? 769 00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,479 Oh, yes. 770 00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,599 Oh, have you seen these dirty books 771 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,840 those teachers have left lying around? 772 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,519 "Sex on lesbos". 773 00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,480 Oh. 774 00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,480 It makes me come over all lesbian. 775 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,760 Me too. 776 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:17,800 Ooh. 777 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:20,960 She's got nice legs. 778 00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,880 So have you. 779 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,680 Hasn't she got nice legs? 780 00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,880 Lovely. 781 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,760 I think she must be a lesbian... 782 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,360 ..Just like us. 783 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,799 You're a lesbian, aren't you? Yes. 784 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,960 Yes, I am. 785 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:53,480 Me too. 786 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,680 What lovely legs she's got. 787 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,719 Oh, I love being a lesbian, don't you? 788 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:06,960 Yes. Yes, I do. 789 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,719 Me too. Polly parrot. 790 00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:15,320 Popozogolou? Popozogolou. 791 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,320 Him. 792 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:23,319 Sad and hopeless. Comes in his cocoa before he's got the plonker on. 793 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,160 Don't look it. 794 00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:29,639 What about him? 795 00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,160 Which one? By the door. 796 00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,439 Bent as a box of frogs, dear. 797 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:38,159 Looks nice. Maybe he is. I don't know. 798 00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,479 Most men don't like sex that much. Can't wait to get it over. 799 00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:43,999 They're only after one thing. 800 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,439 If they didn't want it, we'd be out of a job. 801 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:50,480 I didn't say want, Christine, I said like. I said they didn't like it. 802 00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:58,159 What about your Ron? Enjoys a good cuddle, just like me. 803 00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,720 Knock at door oh, my god. 804 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,360 Let me out, let me out. 805 00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,440 Wasp up her bum. Ta. 806 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,879 Oh, bumholes. I left my butter in the fridge at the flat. 807 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:25,799 I'll get you some. Oh, ta. 808 00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:29,799 Madam's got a fancy man. Oh, sit down and shut up. 809 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,399 Yes, lady. What are you having tonight? 810 00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,440 Fillet steak, mangetout and a bottle of beaujolais. 811 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,040 I've got a date. 812 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,480 I've got a date. 813 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,600 That lot can go to the jumble. 814 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,560 How does she do it? 815 00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:11,160 Shirley. 816 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,080 How can she do the two? 817 00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,520 What about Ron? What does he think? 818 00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,720 That's their business. 819 00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,839 He's so good-looking, Dolly. And charming. 820 00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:31,039 He's got such a gentle look in his eye. Do you know what I mean? 821 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,760 Who, Ron? No, silly cow. 822 00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,840 You know who I mean. 823 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,159 I'm fed up with silly buggers, Dolly. 824 00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,079 Had enough of naughty schoolboys. I'm getting out. 825 00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,920 How will you pay the bills? I'll be married. 826 00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:56,040 Oh, dear. 827 00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:00,760 Buzzer oh, bugger. 828 01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:03,640 Can always do a bit on the side. 829 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,520 Pound says it's Sydney. I'll marry him. 830 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,679 Hello, doll. This is pat, my fiancee. 831 01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,759 We're engaged to be married. This is Christine, doll. 832 01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,440 Hello. 833 01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,640 Bend over. 834 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,440 That's for the inland bloody revenue. 835 01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,999 Cheeky sods. What's the matter with you today? 836 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,319 Good morning, ladies. Look what I got in the post this morning. 837 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,119 The floodgates are open. What is it? 838 01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,319 Inland bloody revenue from when I got nicked. 839 01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:06,639 Box no. 192. A plethora of kinky correspondence. 840 01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,999 Cheeky sods. They've assessed my earnings and sent me a bill for tax. 841 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,080 Morning, Mac. You can't leave those there, you know. 842 01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,439 Some of us are working in here. 843 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,960 Who's attending to mr webb's bot-bot? 844 01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:26,079 This one wants golden rain, miss cane. 845 01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,879 Does she now, miss stern? 846 01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:33,760 Will you oblige, miss cane? Let me at him, miss stern. 847 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,560 Excuse me. Yes? 848 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,119 Speak up! Excuse me, superior mistress, 849 01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,760 but how did you know I worked for the inland revenue? 850 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,879 You work for the inland revenue? 851 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,000 Yes. Psst. 852 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,439 What's golden rain? Piddle. 853 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,039 What? He wants you to piddle on him. 854 01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,479 I can't do that. You've agreed to it now. 855 01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,080 Come on. 856 01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,439 Detective constables timms and Gibson. Flying squad. 857 01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,119 No more vice, just villains. 858 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,239 She's a cleaner, nothing more, nothing less. 859 01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:18,439 All right, mr smartarse? 860 01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:21,599 I'm not interested. Christine, they've been shifted. 861 01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,360 They're not vice any more. 862 01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:27,039 Cheeky sods. 863 01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:28,960 Put the kettle on, Dolly. 864 01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,520 Have you got a toilet? I'm busting. Yeah, me too. 865 01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,679 They've come to use the bloody toilet. 866 01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:39,160 Have they? 867 01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:41,720 This way. 868 01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:11,519 That's not too tight, is it? The one round his neck looks tight. 869 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,080 It's fine. 870 01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,040 Hold these. 871 01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:53,039 Now, I wish to be left in the chamber 872 01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:56,119 for exactly one, and one half hour. 873 01:03:56,120 --> 01:04:00,439 If I need any assistance, I'll press the alarm button here 874 01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,439 and the light will come on. 875 01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:04,360 Is it working? 876 01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:07,680 Dolly: Yes. Yes. 877 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:13,719 Can you hear us? 878 01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,839 Yes. 879 01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,760 One, and one half hour. 880 01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:22,080 Shirley, the gag, please. 881 01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:47,680 Right, slave, now we are closing the doors for ever. 882 01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:52,160 The high priestess will attend without. 883 01:04:56,840 --> 01:05:01,039 That's it. Home. Supper. Feet up in front of the telly. 884 01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:04,319 He's such a nice man. I don't understand it, do you? 885 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,119 No, I don't. 886 01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:10,399 I thought he was making a cupboard for us to hang our coats in. 887 01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:11,919 I did. 888 01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,519 It's a bit scary, isn't it? I'll stay, if you like. 889 01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,560 No, you go. Good luck. 890 01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,680 What time's your date? I've got ages yet. 891 01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,639 It's just a date. He's only a fella. 892 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,039 I'm so nervous. 893 01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,559 I've got the collywobbles. 894 01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,039 Go out. Enjoy yourself. Ta. 895 01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,360 Bye. Bye. 896 01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:37,920 Thank you, Dolly. 897 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,200 Lift bell dings 898 01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,040 Door closes 899 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:52,120 Gentle shuffling 900 01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:17,000 Shuffling 901 01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:32,040 She gasps oh, my god! 902 01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:36,760 Please... Mr popozogolou! 903 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,559 If I'd have known, if you'd told me, 904 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,840 you could borrow my clothes any time you want. 905 01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:58,080 You could come round here and dress up. 906 01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:00,800 I'll dress up with you, if you want. 907 01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:05,079 You don't have to come creeping in here, you know. 908 01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,120 You can wear whatever you want in here. 909 01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,879 I'm... not a transvestite. 910 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:15,720 I'm not a homosexual. I don't mind if you are. 911 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,240 I love my wife. That's nice. 912 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,040 I like to wear dress. 913 01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:32,279 Doorbell 914 01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:33,599 oh, my god. The red light! 915 01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,200 What is it? Oh, no. 916 01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,160 Doorbell 917 01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,599 Hello. 918 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:53,719 What do you want? 919 01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,120 Friendly visit. Off duty. 920 01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:59,520 Peace. Pax. 921 01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:02,920 I've come to check your locks. 922 01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:05,680 I'm busy. 923 01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:08,559 Don't you ever get fed up? 924 01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,079 What with? 925 01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,160 All these kinky sods. 926 01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,840 Don't you ever ache for something straight? 927 01:10:19,480 --> 01:10:21,719 Not that I've noticed. 928 01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,720 I think you do. 929 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,279 I know you do. 930 01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,320 It's written all over your face. 931 01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:32,960 Let me come in. 932 01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,240 Now. 933 01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:41,360 You've got to keep in with the police. 934 01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,720 Sorry, too late. 935 01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,359 Oh, my god! Bloody hell! 936 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,479 Mac! Are you alive or dead? 937 01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:55,840 Muffled: I'm alive! 938 01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:12,759 This is very nice, madam. 939 01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:14,959 There are three other bedrooms of this size. 940 01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:18,159 A small bedroom and a box room. Oh, that would be my room, madam. 941 01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:21,320 I'll put you in a bloody kennel! Yes, please. 942 01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:26,279 Nice. 943 01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:30,360 They are well-proportioned rooms. Very nice. 944 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,039 If you put up some of the cash, 945 01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:36,159 it gives you no rights over my life, you know. 946 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:38,159 Call it an indulgence, madam, 947 01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,920 of an ageing pillock in the Autumn of his days. 948 01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:54,919 The perfect locale for a brothel, madam. 949 01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:56,759 A house of pleasure. 950 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:59,519 Privacy and discretion assured. 951 01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:01,679 It's a home. My home. 952 01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:04,199 Not just a knocking-shop. 953 01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,920 But the place for sex is in the home. 954 01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:15,799 A guaranteed loan, madam, through my bank. 955 01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,479 The bargain of a lifetime. 956 01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:20,399 Snap it up now, before senile dementia runs me down. 957 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,399 This garden's a mess. 958 01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:24,479 Slaves required. 959 01:13:24,480 --> 01:13:26,479 Foot and shoe fetishists welcome. 960 01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,479 Household and garden duties essential. 961 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:30,320 Won't cost a penny. 962 01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:32,879 I'll leave that to you. 963 01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,720 I'll take care of everything, madam. 964 01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:36,999 Nice. 965 01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:38,799 A mess. 966 01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:40,720 A nice mess. 967 01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,479 Turn on the light! 968 01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:22,479 Danielle! Turn the light on! 969 01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:24,960 Groaning 970 01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:31,799 you see? Christine! They want more, madam! 971 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,599 You shouldn't be watching this. Not yet. 972 01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:36,199 They can't wait, madam! 973 01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:40,799 We want to see the films. We want to see the films. 974 01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:43,639 There's going to be a lesbian display first. 975 01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:45,479 The blue films are for later. 976 01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:47,719 We've got hot pussies, horse lovers, 977 01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:49,999 way to Valhalla... And Casanova and the nuns! 978 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,599 And the nuns. Doorbell rings 979 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:55,999 but there's going to be a real live lesbian display first. 980 01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:57,960 Bloody well cheer up, Danielle. 981 01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:03,919 No sex in the bathroom, please! 982 01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:06,360 Last time, somebody pulled the sink off the wall. 983 01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:08,999 Come on. 984 01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,079 That's it. I'm all right. 985 01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:13,519 Come in! My dear Christine, hello. 986 01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:16,159 This is my friend and colleague, mr patel. 987 01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:19,159 Hello. Come in. Is this the one that's getting me the fridge? 988 01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:20,439 He's the one. 989 01:15:20,440 --> 01:15:23,559 We offer the best discounts in town, miss painter. Anything you like. 990 01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:26,399 Except sex, eh? Ha-bloody-ha! 991 01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:30,399 Now, brothel days are mondays, wednesdays and Fridays. 992 01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:32,599 But this is just a party, a sex party. 993 01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:34,999 So, enjoy yourselves. Who have we got here this evening? 994 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,479 Helen's here, and Barbara. She's nice. 995 01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:39,959 Oh, and there's fay. 996 01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:41,399 No charge. 997 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:44,839 She only does it in her spare time. She's really a vet. 998 01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:50,119 Now, when you go upstairs, you hand that in to the girl. 999 01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:51,799 Don't pay the girl. 1000 01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:54,240 I pay them later. They hand me back the vouchers. 1001 01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,719 Nicole, get these two gentlemen a drink. 1002 01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:01,760 There's going to be a real live lesbian show in a minute. 1003 01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:08,999 Silly bugger! What do you think you're doing? I'm on a quest, madam. 1004 01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:11,519 Searching for the perfect expression of my femininity. 1005 01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:13,199 Not easy for an ageing pillock. 1006 01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,239 Why can't you grow old gracefully, silly old sod? 1007 01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:19,999 Oh, certainly not, madam. I intend to grow old disgracefully! 1008 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,480 Disgusting. 1009 01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:35,519 Here. Straight from the chicken's gonger. 1010 01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:37,399 Thank you, Christine. 1011 01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:39,440 You're a dear. 1012 01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:52,440 A beacon among the rocks. 1013 01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:56,840 Among the cocks, more like. 1014 01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:23,640 Dirty old sods, every one of you. 1015 01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:31,080 What's the point of being old if you can't be dirty? 1016 01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:52,240 Nice party. 1017 01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:06,640 ♪ Happy birthday to you 1018 01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:14,199 ♪ happy birthday, dear David 1019 01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:19,279 ♪ happy birthday to you. ♪ 1020 01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,039 Hooray! 1021 01:18:21,040 --> 01:18:22,640 Applause 1022 01:18:25,480 --> 01:18:27,080 come on, where's your puff, boy? 1023 01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,760 Right. Here. 1024 01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,720 What about the cake, madam? Wait a bloody minute. 1025 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,320 Happy birthday. 1026 01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:52,240 Hello, David. 1027 01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,640 This is Carol. 1028 01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:11,199 Oh! I'm sorry, did I startle you? 1029 01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:13,999 I thought you'd gone. I must be getting underway. 1030 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,560 Yes, you must. 1031 01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:19,319 Thank you so much. 1032 01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:23,039 Same time next week? Yes. I should take that off if I were you. 1033 01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:25,880 Oh! Thank you. Yes. 1034 01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:30,040 Next week, then. Three o'clock prompt! 1035 01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,960 Winky-poos and bot-bots. 1036 01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,439 Yes? Hello. 1037 01:19:40,440 --> 01:19:43,519 Hello. You're late! Sorry, mistress Christine. I've been at work. 1038 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:47,480 Work? There's work to be done round here, my boy! In! In! Go on! 1039 01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:52,040 Come on! Come on, slave! Get a move on! 1040 01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:01,559 What do you think this is, the queen's garden party? 1041 01:20:01,560 --> 01:20:03,119 Get busy, you lot! 1042 01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:04,519 Now! Go on! 1043 01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:06,359 Madam, they want to know how much. 1044 01:20:06,360 --> 01:20:09,479 What for? Digging the garden. 1045 01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:11,919 They're slaves. I thought it was free. 1046 01:20:11,920 --> 01:20:13,959 No, they want to know how much you want 1047 01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:16,040 for letting them dig the garden. 1048 01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:22,720 They've got to work much harder. 1049 01:20:24,480 --> 01:20:27,480 Or I won't accept a penny. Sorry, mistress Christine. 1050 01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:39,760 What is it? 1051 01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,480 Dad. 1052 01:20:56,120 --> 01:20:57,919 So, this is it. 1053 01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:00,520 That's right, this is it. Have a good look. 1054 01:21:01,760 --> 01:21:04,400 I'm not here for a row. Makes a change. 1055 01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,359 It doesn't matter which side I stand, 1056 01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:10,079 I'm always on the wrong side of you. It's not easy. 1057 01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:11,360 Then why bother? 1058 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:16,760 I need a woman. 1059 01:21:21,040 --> 01:21:22,240 Pardon? 1060 01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:25,399 A woman. 1061 01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:27,600 Your father needs a woman. 1062 01:21:31,200 --> 01:21:32,480 Thanks, mum. 1063 01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,519 Your grandfather's here, David. 1064 01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:37,919 Hello, son. Hello. 1065 01:21:37,920 --> 01:21:43,520 Grandpa. Here. Happy birthday. 1066 01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:48,199 Thanks, grandpa. 1067 01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:50,160 Dad! 1068 01:21:54,280 --> 01:21:56,760 She sobs 1069 01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:08,279 Dad. David, excuse us, please. 1070 01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:09,720 Dad, come with me. 1071 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:15,760 Up or down? 1072 01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:26,599 Dad, this is Carol. 1073 01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:28,999 Carol, this is my dad. 1074 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,759 How do you do, mr painter? 1075 01:22:30,760 --> 01:22:33,720 How do you do? Very well, thank you. 1076 01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:49,240 She exhales 1077 01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:59,159 ♪ a long time ago in Bethlehem 1078 01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:03,000 ♪ so the holy Bible say 1079 01:23:04,320 --> 01:23:09,199 ♪ Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ 1080 01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:13,799 ♪ was born on Christmas day 1081 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:18,640 ♪ hark now hear the angels sing 1082 01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:23,999 ♪ listen what they say 1083 01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:30,199 ♪ that man will live for evermore 1084 01:23:30,200 --> 01:23:33,840 ♪ because of Christmas day. ♪ 1085 01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,600 Laughter 1086 01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:42,439 cheering 1087 01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:43,840 applause 1088 01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:56,040 Whooping 1089 01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:07,040 Laughter 1090 01:24:23,240 --> 01:24:25,159 Cheering and applause 1091 01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:26,959 I saw you! 1092 01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:28,799 Thank you, Lorena! 1093 01:24:28,800 --> 01:24:30,279 Now, then, you lot. 1094 01:24:30,280 --> 01:24:33,039 Come on, webby. I want a snap with the girls. 1095 01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:34,599 Lorena, you can come back out now! 1096 01:24:34,600 --> 01:24:36,199 You two, shift your gongers. 1097 01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:37,720 All the men, out! 1098 01:24:40,280 --> 01:24:42,559 Come on! Come on, girls! In! 1099 01:24:42,560 --> 01:24:45,919 Come on you lot, stop pissing about! I want you to get into this picture. 1100 01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:47,359 Jenny! Look at her knickers. 1101 01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:50,279 Gloria? Oh, she's here. Come on, Helen! 1102 01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:53,359 Come on. Come on, Shirley. In the middle. And Dolly. 1103 01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,399 I'm here. Oh, you're here. That's right. 1104 01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:59,279 Oh, Danielle, stop looking so bloody miserable. Get in at the side. 1105 01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:01,199 Nicole! 1106 01:25:01,200 --> 01:25:03,159 Me too, madam. Not bloody likely. 1107 01:25:03,160 --> 01:25:05,239 Oh, yes, please, madam! Yes, come on. 1108 01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:08,279 Hey! Hey, what about the men? No men! 1109 01:25:08,280 --> 01:25:10,279 Yes, what about us? 1110 01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:12,040 Right. 1111 01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:17,799 One, two, three... 1112 01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:19,440 All: Sex! 1113 01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:25,159 Merry Christmas! 1114 01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:26,680 Happy Christmas! 1115 01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,919 Let the fucking commence! 1116 01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:35,120 Cheering 1117 01:25:49,480 --> 01:25:51,000 Laughter 1118 01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:02,320 Jingle bells plays 1119 01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:06,319 tyres screech 1120 01:26:06,320 --> 01:26:07,720 brakes screech 1121 01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,600 Jingle bells continues 1122 01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:22,919 Knock at door 1123 01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:25,039 who is it? I am a police officer. 1124 01:26:25,040 --> 01:26:26,879 I have a warrant to enter these premises! 1125 01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:29,800 Open up! Look out, everybody, it's a raid! 1126 01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:37,399 Oh, shit. 1127 01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,320 Come on, lads. Keep on. 1128 01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:43,279 Oh, well, you might as well come in now you're here! 1129 01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:45,120 Nice to see you again. 1130 01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,679 What the hell's going on? Who's this? 1131 01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:55,360 Record scratches 1132 01:26:56,480 --> 01:26:57,719 come on in, boys. 1133 01:26:57,720 --> 01:27:00,319 That's right. And you, girls. 1134 01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,600 We're short on girls. 1135 01:27:06,440 --> 01:27:08,640 Sod off! 1136 01:27:13,360 --> 01:27:15,120 Both: Sex! 1137 01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:20,599 We are police officers. Stop what you are doing. 1138 01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:24,320 I don't care who you are. I'm not stopping now. 1139 01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:30,079 Arrest this woman! 1140 01:27:30,080 --> 01:27:32,160 That is an offensive weapon! 1141 01:27:38,560 --> 01:27:40,039 Out! 1142 01:27:40,040 --> 01:27:43,439 Police radio: '1-6-4-5. All cars...' 1143 01:27:43,440 --> 01:27:46,360 come on! What are you waiting...? Oh! 1144 01:27:59,480 --> 01:28:01,159 ♪ Rule britannia 1145 01:28:01,160 --> 01:28:02,759 ♪ britannia rules the waves 1146 01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:05,879 ♪ britons never, never, never shall be slaves. ♪ 1147 01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:08,679 Sod 'em all, madam! I'm a pervert! 1148 01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:12,159 Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! 1149 01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,119 Do you have to knock down the doors? 1150 01:28:14,120 --> 01:28:16,439 This is the woman, and these are the premises 1151 01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:18,959 on which I've kept observation over the last three months. 1152 01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:22,119 This house has been operating as a brothel during that time. 1153 01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:24,799 You've heard the officer. What have you to say? 1154 01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:26,959 If I'd know he'd been out there all that time, 1155 01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:28,760 I'd have asked him in for a cup of tea. 1156 01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,000 Can't you tell him not to? In the Van! 1157 01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:39,039 Diplomats? I beg your pardon? 1158 01:28:39,040 --> 01:28:40,879 Are you diplomats? 1159 01:28:40,880 --> 01:28:42,879 Yes, we are diplomats. 1160 01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:44,159 No scandals, please. 1161 01:28:44,160 --> 01:28:45,559 Scarper. Thank you, sir. 1162 01:28:45,560 --> 01:28:47,520 Yes, sir. 1163 01:29:23,280 --> 01:29:24,599 Pay no attention. 1164 01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:27,120 Siren blares 1165 01:29:29,080 --> 01:29:30,559 I'm not going in that! 1166 01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:33,199 Hello, Maureen! We're being raided! 1167 01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:34,999 I hope you'll apologise to the neighbours. 1168 01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:36,279 Don't make trouble, madam. 1169 01:29:36,280 --> 01:29:39,119 I'm not going in no black Maria like some common criminal. 1170 01:29:39,120 --> 01:29:40,839 Everyone else is. 1171 01:29:40,840 --> 01:29:44,079 I'll go in yours. Which is yours? Is this yours? Come on. 1172 01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:46,279 Come on. Very well, madam. 1173 01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:48,279 He's a gentleman! 1174 01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:50,200 Just my type. 1175 01:29:51,160 --> 01:29:53,120 A touch of royalty about him. 1176 01:29:54,600 --> 01:29:57,440 Silent night plays 1177 01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,959 get off! 1178 01:30:01,960 --> 01:30:04,000 Come on. 1179 01:30:06,760 --> 01:30:10,279 Come on, you're not going anywhere like that. Come on. 1180 01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,599 Oh, shit. Come here. 1181 01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:14,680 She squeals 1182 01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:20,399 she shrieks 1183 01:30:20,400 --> 01:30:21,600 come on. 1184 01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:39,920 Ooh! 1185 01:30:41,560 --> 01:30:43,000 What a carry-on, eh? 1186 01:30:44,880 --> 01:30:46,879 Settle down! 1187 01:30:46,880 --> 01:30:48,759 Baa! 1188 01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:50,800 Baa-baa! 1189 01:30:53,680 --> 01:30:55,879 Bleah! Blah! 1190 01:30:55,880 --> 01:30:57,879 Bleah! Bleah! 1191 01:30:57,880 --> 01:30:59,839 Baa! Gentlemen! 1192 01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:01,119 Bleah! 1193 01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:03,919 Gentlemen, I would ask you to be patient. 1194 01:31:03,920 --> 01:31:08,879 Tea and baked beans will be served and statements will be taken. 1195 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:10,879 We won't keep you long. 1196 01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:12,279 You're all a lot of sheep! 1197 01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:15,359 You don't have to give statements! Ask him what's the charge. 1198 01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:18,359 You're all a lot of sheep! What's the charge? 1199 01:31:18,360 --> 01:31:21,360 Sheep! Baa! Baa! Baa! 1200 01:31:22,560 --> 01:31:25,079 I'm a retired officer of the raf! 1201 01:31:25,080 --> 01:31:27,079 Twice decorated! 1202 01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:30,479 I flew 207 missions over occupied territory! 1203 01:31:30,480 --> 01:31:32,279 In bra and panties! 1204 01:31:32,280 --> 01:31:33,760 You're a disgrace. 1205 01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:39,719 This is no way to treat a lady! 1206 01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:42,679 It's just like a tupperware party, really. 1207 01:31:42,680 --> 01:31:46,559 But I sell sex instead of plastic containers. 1208 01:31:46,560 --> 01:31:50,359 If the wives were willing, I'd be out of a job, wouldn't I? 1209 01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:52,479 They go off sex. 1210 01:31:52,480 --> 01:31:54,479 Rather sell tupperware. 1211 01:31:54,480 --> 01:31:56,160 Ha-bloody-ha. 1212 01:31:58,760 --> 01:32:00,759 Sex soon goes out of a marriage. 1213 01:32:00,760 --> 01:32:02,959 I'm a bit old-fashioned, really. 1214 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,959 I believe in marriage. 1215 01:32:04,960 --> 01:32:06,959 Men are animals, sexually. 1216 01:32:06,960 --> 01:32:09,959 They don't talk a bit of sense until you've got them despunked. 1217 01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:12,959 Women are more affectionate. They like a bit of affection. 1218 01:32:12,960 --> 01:32:15,879 Though I've met a few horny buggers in my time. 1219 01:32:15,880 --> 01:32:19,519 The wife wants a three-piece suite. 1220 01:32:19,520 --> 01:32:21,519 If she gave the man sex, 1221 01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:25,719 he might be more inclined to come across with the three-piece suite. 1222 01:32:25,720 --> 01:32:28,279 It may not be a fashionable thing to say, 1223 01:32:28,280 --> 01:32:29,799 but once you've got him despunked, 1224 01:32:29,800 --> 01:32:32,159 and he's sitting there thinking he's all wonderful, 1225 01:32:32,160 --> 01:32:34,679 done you a good turn, given you a pair of soggy knickers, 1226 01:32:34,680 --> 01:32:37,559 in the afterglow of his glory, he's more likely to come across 1227 01:32:37,560 --> 01:32:40,560 with a dralon three-piece, don't you think? 1228 01:32:41,880 --> 01:32:44,359 Well, you could well be right, love. I dunno. 1229 01:32:44,360 --> 01:32:46,759 Personally, I've been married for 20 years, 1230 01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:49,800 and we still go at it like rabbits. 1231 01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:53,199 I'm responsible, not the men. 1232 01:32:53,200 --> 01:32:55,279 You can't expect the men to be responsible. 1233 01:32:55,280 --> 01:32:58,839 When the balls are full, the brain is empty. Ask him. 1234 01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:01,599 He should know. I'm fully responsible. 1235 01:33:01,600 --> 01:33:03,279 We're looking to make several charges. 1236 01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:05,799 Including possessing obscene articles for gain, 1237 01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:07,559 selling liquor without a licence, 1238 01:33:07,560 --> 01:33:11,279 running a disorderly house, and keeping a brothel. 1239 01:33:11,280 --> 01:33:15,279 I just perform a service. 1240 01:33:15,280 --> 01:33:16,719 You will go down for this. 1241 01:33:16,720 --> 01:33:19,680 I only go down for a price, dear, and I doubt if you could afford it. 1242 01:33:59,080 --> 01:34:02,840 ♪ Earth stood hard as iron 1243 01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:08,120 ♪ water like a stone 1244 01:34:10,160 --> 01:34:16,239 ♪ snow had fallen, snow on snow 1245 01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:19,960 ♪ snow on snow 1246 01:34:23,800 --> 01:34:28,520 ♪ in the bleak midwinter 1247 01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:34,800 ♪ long ago. ♪ 1248 01:34:49,960 --> 01:34:51,280 Yah! 1249 01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:02,919 Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, ladies. 1250 01:35:02,920 --> 01:35:05,439 Please, please! No need to storm the fort. 1251 01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:08,839 Is miss painter here? No, madam is not here at present. 1252 01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:10,439 But if you would care to follow me, 1253 01:35:10,440 --> 01:35:13,400 we will proceed with a conducted tour of the premises. 1254 01:35:14,520 --> 01:35:17,839 This way, please. This way. 1255 01:35:17,840 --> 01:35:20,479 Is it true she gave sex to people in wheelchairs? 1256 01:35:20,480 --> 01:35:22,359 Well, there was a minimal charge, sir. 1257 01:35:22,360 --> 01:35:24,479 But yes, it's true. Everything's true, sir. 1258 01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:26,039 All in good time. 1259 01:35:26,040 --> 01:35:29,759 My name is Morton. Ex wing commander. 1260 01:35:29,760 --> 01:35:33,719 Since my retirement, I have devoted my life to transvestism 1261 01:35:33,720 --> 01:35:35,759 and the pursuit of sexual deviation. 1262 01:35:35,760 --> 01:35:37,679 And I'm now a very happy man, 1263 01:35:37,680 --> 01:35:40,880 having escaped from an extremely overcrowded closet. 1264 01:35:42,480 --> 01:35:45,079 Here, catering strictly for the tastes of the older gentleman, 1265 01:35:45,080 --> 01:35:47,079 here is the lounge where clients relax 1266 01:35:47,080 --> 01:35:50,799 with a bridge roll and a gin and tonic 1267 01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:52,919 before going with the lady of their choice... 1268 01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:55,519 Thus undermining the moral fabric of the nation. 1269 01:35:55,520 --> 01:35:59,399 But let me take you to where I know you're longing to go. 1270 01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:04,559 Upstairs! To reveal the exotic underbelly of our beloved country. 1271 01:36:04,560 --> 01:36:07,359 Follow in the footsteps of fathers and grandfathers, 1272 01:36:07,360 --> 01:36:08,559 fornicators all. 1273 01:36:08,560 --> 01:36:12,759 If, in your innocence, there is anything you do not understand, 1274 01:36:12,760 --> 01:36:17,119 if there's anything you wish to see, do not hesitate to ask. 1275 01:36:17,120 --> 01:36:20,680 For in this house, we have nothing to hide. 1276 01:36:54,120 --> 01:36:56,080 Be upstanding in court. 1277 01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:41,199 ♪ Bless this house 1278 01:37:41,200 --> 01:37:44,479 ♪ oh, lord, we pray 1279 01:37:44,480 --> 01:37:50,159 ♪ make it safe by night and day 1280 01:37:50,160 --> 01:37:53,039 ♪ bless these walls 1281 01:37:53,040 --> 01:37:57,119 ♪ so firm and stout 1282 01:37:57,120 --> 01:38:02,440 ♪ keeping want and trouble out 1283 01:38:03,680 --> 01:38:09,280 ♪ bless the roof and chimneys tall 1284 01:38:10,720 --> 01:38:16,160 ♪ let thy peace lie over all 1285 01:38:17,480 --> 01:38:23,320 ♪ bless this door that it may prove 1286 01:38:24,600 --> 01:38:31,600 ♪ ever open to joy and love. ♪ 1287 01:40:30,360 --> 01:40:32,400 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.Com