(SIZZLING)
ELLEN: Stop that!
SEAN: Stop what? I'm not doing anything.
(SMACKS HAND)
SEAN: Ow! That hurt.
ELLEN: Serves you right.
Will you cut that out?
I can't help myself.
You're almost as sneaky as your father was.
He was the tomato thief of all time.
I know what you're doing.
I'm hungry.
Let me finish dinner before you eat it. Chop these.
Sorry, fellas.
Oh, Mom, tomorrow night we're going with
Tiffany to buy a Christmas tree.
Okay, but a small one this year. Watch your fingers.
No way, a big one. Ow! Shit!
Are you okay?
Yeah, it adds flavor.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
ELLEN: Hello?
We don't want any.
Thea who?
I know it's Thea Brody. How many grandkids do I have?
THEA ON PHONE: I can use the phone by myself.
I know you can use the phone by yourself. You're a big girl.
I'm five years old now, Grandma.
I know you're five years old.
Hiya, kiddo. How're you doin' down there in the sunshine?
I'm fine, Uncle Sean. I went swimming today.
I'm taking lessons.
MICHAEL ON PHONE: She already swims like a fish.
Hey, Michael! Hey, bro.
The fish. Check it.
No way! You check it. No, I'm on the phone.
Come on, let me talk to him. Hello? I'm paying the call.
THEA: What's going on?
Your grandmother is a slave driver!
Tell her to be nice to me.
Did you get the book I sent you?
MICHAEL: Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot!
Hey, ask the big doctor about his job.
(SHUSHING)
Tough life, you Bahamian beach bum playin' in the water all day.
I heard that. He heard that.
Good.
Hey, how come you get to leave early?
'Cause my desk is closer to the door.
I don't think that's funny.
A big one. A small one.
Your brother's not gonna be here.
JIM: Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Jim.
Merry Christmas, Mary. Don't forget eggnog time Thursday night!
All right, we'll be there. Okay.
We're getting a big tree and we're getting out
all the old ornaments, and we're gonna
do it right. And we're hanging stockings on the mantle...
And we're putting out cookies... And we'll have eggnog.
...and a bottle of beer for Santa. All right!
All right, we'll do it all. All right.
Tiffany, do you have any idea what a madman you're marrying?
Yes, I do.
I gotta go check in. Okay.
See you later. Love you.
Bye. Me, too.
Don't be late!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That bad, huh?
We're out of decaf, we're outta petty cash,
and we're outta requisition forms.
Anything to do before I go home?
That man keeps calling about his training film.
I can't convince him we don't have a S.W.A.T. team.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Good night, Polly!
Amity Police Department.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hold it!
There's an old dock piling drifting in the channel.
Maybe it'll just keep on drifting till it goes away?
It's stuck on a channel marker.
Good night, Polly.
(DOOR CLOSES) Uh-huh.
It... Hold it!
Coast Guard's busy and it has to be cleared
before the fishermen come back.
Where's Lenny?
Out to Ben Master's place. Cow tipping.
Cow tipping?
Claims kids come by at night and tip over his sleeping cows.
They're not givin' milk.
Okay, I'll take care of it.
Deputy Brody will take care of it personally.
Call home, tell 'em I'll be late.
Uh-huh. Cow tipping!
(SINGING) The first Noel
The angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds
In fields as they lay...
No, no, no, no, no! Hold it!
Hold it! (SINGING STOPS)
Together, people! Together, remember?
All right. Let's try it again.
Two, three.
(BAND PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROL)
Where the hell are the Wise Men?
Good luck, Harry.
I'm gonna need it with this bunch.
(CHUCKLES)
(CHOIR SINGING)
Sounds better than when I was a shepherd.
HARRY: Joseph, where the hell is your robe?
You're supposed to be in costume! Jesus!
JOSEPH: I'm over here!
CHOIR: (SINGING) In fields as they lay
In fields where they lay
(ENGINE STARTS)
Keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night that was so deep
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel
HARRY: All right, clear quickly. Ready, angels, and...
CHOIR: (SINGING) Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the new born King
(BUOY DINGING)
"Peace on Earth and mercy mild
"God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
(DINGING CONTINUES)
With angelic host proclaim
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the new born King!"
HARRY: Very good, people. Very good.
And now, again, Noel, everyone.
(BUOY DINGING)
(BAND PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROL)
(CHOIR SINGING)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh, God!
(SINGING CONTINUES)
Oh, God! Help!
(SCREAMING)
(SHOUTING) Help me!
Oh, God! Help me!
(SCREAMING)
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING)
(BUOY DINGING)
(GROANING)
(YELLING) Help! Help!
(SCREAMING)
(GURGLING)
His things. I thought you'd want them.
(SOBBING)
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
Grandma! Grandma!
(SCATTING)
We're here!
Grandma?
Mom?
We're here.
Thea, get down here. Come on.
Anybody home?
Michael.
Where's Mom?
She's been out there for hours.
How's she doing?
We've just come from Tiffany's house.
Poor girl. The doctors had to sedate her.
CARLA: Hello, Mrs. Taft.
Hi, sweetheart.
I didn't recognize you, Thea. You're so grown up.
Uncle Sean is dead, you know?
Will he ever come back?
We'll talk about that some more later.
MRS. KINTER: Would you like something to eat?
THEA: I had a hamburger on the plane.
MRS. KINTER: Oh. POLLY: We can do better than that.
How would you like a funny bone sandwich?
(MRS. KINTER LAUGHING)
(THEA LAUGHS)
POLLY: How was the airplane ride?
THEA: Good. The lady gave me two lollipops.
(SOBBING)
It came for him.
What?
It waited all this time, and it came for him.
You guys must be starving. I'll make some fettuccini.
Sit down, Ma. I'm making dinner.
You should sit in here and relax with Michael.
(DISHES CLATTERING)
Really, Ellen, there's nothing left to do.
I want you to get out of the water.
What?
I want you to give up that terrible job!
Come on, Mom, you can't be serious.
Damn right, I'm serious.
I'm just getting started. We just got our first grant last...
ELLEN: I don't want you anywhere near the water.
Mom, you're upset.
Come on, just come on and sit down, will you? We'll get there...
I don't want anyone in my family anywhere near the water.
Never again. Never!
Hey, come on. You can't believe that voodoo.
Sharks don't commit murder! They don't pick out a person...
It picked out Sean. It killed your father.
Dad died from a heart attack.
He died from fear. The fear of it killed him.
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, listen... listen to me.
There's never been a great white where we live, ever.
It's warm water. They don't like it. It's... It's...
Your brother's dead. Your father's dead. It's too shallow.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
It was a piece of wood!
It was a shitty piece of wood!
Michael!
He was just doing his job.
God, he could make me laugh sometimes.
He was always taggin' after me when we were kids, you know?
He always wanted to do what I was...
Hey, where are you going?
Nowhere!
MINISTER: "To everything there is a season,
"and a time to every purpose under heaven.
"A time to be born and a time to die.
"A time to plant,
"and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
"A time to kill and a time to heal.
"A time to break down and a time to build up.
"A time to weep and a time to laugh.
"A time to mourn and a time to dance.
"A time to cast away stones
"and a time to gather stones together.
(SOBBING)
"A time to embrace
"and a time to refrain from embracing. "
BOY: Hey, Tom, wait up!
Oh, you're gonna spoil her.
That's what grandmas are for.
(LAUGHS)
Why don't you come down to the islands with us?
I... I can't do that.
Come on. Come on, Mom. No. No.
Get out of this cold. You can spend some time with Thea.
Yes!
(CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHS) Come here, you.
Wanna know what I think?
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Yes.
Come on, Mom, at least consider it.
I mean, you should get away. You shouldn't be alone now.
Yes! (LAUGHS)
Great! Yay!
If we hurry we can catch the 4:30 ferry.
Today? Today.
No, I... No, I can't.
THEA: Yes, you can.
(HORN BLOWING)
Swing me, swing me!
Okay, okay.
Oh, my back! I can't do this. I know. This is a tough one.
I'll take her. I'll take her. Oh, my God, she's too heavy.
Help us, Daddy.
(LAUGHING)
Okay, here we go. Airplane ride.
Whoa! (LAUGHING)
(MIMICS AIRPLANE SOARING)
And away we go. I know. I'm gonna throw you overboard.
(THEA EXCLAIMING)
(SOBBING)
Oh, look!
CARLA: Oh, hey, I always wanted to ride one of those.
MICHAEL: No way.
CARLA: Chicken.
My mother always told me,
"If God had intended us to ride parachutes for fun,
"we'd have been born with free tickets. "
I never said that.
Yes, you did. August 1977.
Where do you come up with these ideas?
Where's the lady who brings the soda?
(LAUGHS)
They had them on the big plane.
There's some coffee in the thermos.
I'm too young for coffee. Oh.
Can I drive?
(HOAGIE LAUGHS) CARLA: Thea!
THEA: Sometimes my father puts me in his lap and lets me steer the Jeep.
CARLA: Don't bother Hoagie.
Sometimes I let interesting people
sit in my lap and steer the plane.
Oh, really? Really.
Hoagie? Yeah?
Jake tells me you're gonna have to fly the rest of your life
to pay off what you lost at the crap table?
Good news travels fast, huh.
I'll get it back next time.
How come it bumps up and down when there's no road?
The wind does that.
You been to the Bahamas before?
No.
First time's the best for everything.
After that, you know too much
and nothing's ever quite the same.
What makes the plane go up and down?
Oh, that's easy. You go like this, and the houses get bigger.
(ALL EXCLAIMING) (THEA LAUGHING)
Then you go like this, and the houses get smaller.
Do you wanna go for a ride?
Yes! No!
Yeah! No!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
ROMEO: (SINGING) And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to 92
Although it's been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas
To you
Kenny and Tamika are playing on the dock. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
MICHAEL: Everybody out!
Come on.
Kenny, Tamika! I'm back! I'm home!
Hey, slow down.
Let me help you with the bags there, Romeo.
Good, you can take the heavy ones.
(LAUGHS) Thanks, buddy.
Grandma! Grandma!
Your room's in here.
Grandma, watch me! Grandma!
Thea, get down from there!
Grandma, watch me!
Get down from there!
Mommy lets me.
No, it's too dangerous! Don't do that!
Grandma, watch me!
Come on, sweetheart.
But you always let me.
Not today. Come on, Thea.
The other kids are.
Daddy, why can't I?
CARLA: Did you hear what I said?
Come inside the house right now!
No, I don't want to. I wanna swing.
CARLA: You can swing later!
Right now you have to unpack.
I didn't mean to start all this.
I feel like such a grandma.
Come on. I'll show you around. Please, Mommy!
No! No! Put me down!
Will you stop making a scene? Right now!
I want to play!
Kenny and Tamika...
I'll be all right, Michael.
Good. So will I.
She calls it Tourist on the Loose.
The local government commissioned it. It's for the public beach.
You forgot to stop at the store.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
CARLA: We need milk, bread...
MICHAEL: There's a big unveiling ceremony in a couple of weeks.
We need beer!
Okay, all right, I'll be right there!
Pretty good, huh?
Yeah.
(ELLEN SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
Grandma?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
JAKE OVER RADIO: Will you stop fartin' around?
Michael, what the hell you doin' down there, eh?
Jake, stop bustin' my chops.
Listen, you remember what they look like?
They hard on the outside, chewy on the inside.
Sometimes they come with a little grime attached to them.
Move your ass, man!
MICHAEL: Ah, bingo!
JAKE: Good. How many you got?
Come on, Michael, talk to me.
Give me some numbers up here. How many you got?
MICHAEL OVER RADIO: Leave me alone, Jake.
Oh, you're full of shit, man.
You been down there all damn day,
we got nothin' to show for it but excuses.
Michael, you're taggin' the damn things, for Christ's sake.
I gotta separate the ladies from the gentlemen first.
No, man, don't do that. You move too slow.
You got two speeds, slow and slower.
And if you move any damn slower you're gonna grow roots!
Hold your water, Jake. Guess what! The females have eggs.
Oh, great. So we're gonna stop everything and pass out cigars now, huh?
Look, we're being paid to see where they go, how they propagate.
I'm tryin to do it right.
Being paid... If we had any decent funding,
I'd study their motor systems, I'd take their temperature readings...
We're getting' it done. That's bull, man.
We'd be able to do a decent report for a change
and really give them something.
If you'd leave me alone, I'd be able to do my work.
I know how to tag a damn conch.
Your readings suck, man.
Maybe it's the tags that suck.
No, no, it's I that made them.
Yeah, well, it's I that put 'em on, man.
Then obviously you put 'em on wrong, Michael.
No, no, no!
If you would've made 'em right, it wouldn't happen.
They leak. A blind man could find more conch
on the mountain side.
You can't find your ass with both hands!
See, that's not fair, man! You go away,
you leave me high and dry, do all the work by myself,
you come back acting like a zombie. It's Christmas Eve,
we're workin' overtime 'cause of you!
Hey!
I'm sorry about your brother, man.
Well, just... Just take it easy, will ya?
Jake.
Come on, Jake, don't... I don't want...
No! (JAKE LAUGHING)
Oh! Put me down. Put me down.
I missed you, man!
(ALL LAUGHING)
ELLEN: And then, he wrote dirty words all over the garage.
He was... Your daddy was five. He was your age.
I'm almost six. Yes.
So is Jake. (ALL LAUGH)
Oh, look at that face. Okay, do the other one.
Now, that's closer to the real truth.
Oh, you. This guy was always getting into some sort of mischief.
I got no doubt about that boy.
Was Uncle Sean ever bad? Did you ever spank him?
Sharp shirt, Jake.
Hey, may your sex life be as busy as your shirt.
Why, thank you.
(JAKE LAUGHING)
My tea set! I got my tea set!
Oh, let me see! THEA: Thank you.
LOUISA: Every lovely lady should have a tea set.
CARLA: Oh, this is a great present.
THEA: It has a teapot and cups and saucers.
LOUISA: And a sugar bowl and a creamer.
THEA: Can I put real tea in it?
LOUISA: Yes, you can put real tea in it.
THEA: Can I make sandwiches?
CARLA: Yes, you can make sandwiches.
LOUISA: Oh, Thea, you know what we forgot? The Christmas carols.
JAKE: Carol, the girl that works down at the grocery store?
LOUISA: Oh, will you stop it on Christmas?
CARLA: Ah, ah, ah, ah.
CARLA: (SINGING) Hark! The herald angels sing
ALL: "Glory to the new born King... "
I miss him, Mom.
I want you to change your work.
Come on, Mom, please don't start that.
You could teach, you could write...
I'm not gonna quit now.
(THEA SCATTING TUNE)
(ALL LAUGHING)
You're all I have left. I don't want you working in the water.
"Glory to the new born King... "
Mom, what I do is perfectly safe.
At the moment, we're collecting big snails.
Jake and I are scientists, you know? We're almost PhDs.
We know what we're doing. There's... There's nothing to worry about.
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Oh, wait!
Next time, don't keep me waiting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, well, we have to... We have to dig the ditch really deep,
so the water'll go all the way around and we can swim in it.
(GIGGLES) You're silly.
You know what? Let's pretend this is Buckingham Palace.
And you'll be Princess Di, and we'll have a parade with horses.
And you'll ride in a golden carriage, and we'll...
THEA: And I can invite Cinderella to the ball.
She'll come in a golden carriage, too.
And we can have cookies and punch and cake.
And I can invite Prince Charlie and...
What's the name of the other prince?
Grandma? Grandma?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Oh, we better get this done before the tide comes in.
It's not nice to be evasive.
My mother says that to my father all the time.
(LAUGHS)
Hello, you two!
Hello.
I don't know why I fish here.
I never catch anything.
There must be a sign under the water. "Beware, Hoagie's about".
You're the man who drives the plane.
Flies the plane.
Mostly, it's like driving.
What's that? An excavation?
We're building a sand castle, and you're invited for tea.
(LAUGHS)
JAKE: You know why... You know why you got no ambition?
MICHAEL: Why is that, Jake?
That's what happens when you lead a
sheltered Norman Rockwell life.
(CHUCKLING) Norman Rockwell?
That's precisely your problem, my friend.
You should talk. You weren't exactly a deprived kid.
Think I buy that roots-rock-reggae bullshit, forget it.
Cut that hair, and you're nothing but a three-piece suit.
Save me from your ignorance, Michael.
The bottom line is we got three months left of work
and no money left to support it.
Spent it all on beer.
Bahamian Fisheries Department is not exactly Fort Knox, my friend.
But, on the other hand,
Office of Naval Research, they've got some money.
No, forget it.
What do you mean forget it, brother? Money is money.
They put bombs on dolphins.
What? What kinda stuff are you talking about?
I know a guy who got money from them to study eels.
CLARENCE: Ha! It's pretty hard to put a bomb on an eel, man.
When I wanna hear from you, I'll rattle your cage.
Michael, man, look at us.
We're out here bustin' our bunghies to get our degrees.
I'm getting tired of all this paradise shit.
It's getting on my last and only nerve, man.
William. What?
Look at you, boy. What about me?
Man, you're a mental midget and you're still reading all day.
You know, if mediocrity were fattening, you'd all be whales.
(DRUMMING)
And will you knock off that stupid drummin'!
Oh, boy, look at you, man. You've nothin' to clean.
What's wrong with you anyway, Pop?
You think because you been to university now you're smart?
Watch it, buddy! Listen to you. You'd like to...
ELLEN: I don't know why I've told you all this. I hardly know you.
Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier.
I can't explain it. It's just... It's something I feel.
I always listen to my feelings.
I think I'm going crazy. Nightmares and...
Maybe it was an accident.
It was no accident.
Well, I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm just saying that maybe there are other possibilities.
When it killed Sean, I knew with absolute certainty it had come for him.
I knew that!
I know it's coming.
What's it cost to take a ride on that plane?
The water's coming in! The water's coming in!
Depends on where you want to go.
Doesn't matter.
THEA: Hurry!
Just like that?
Just like that.
ELLEN: Oh! Oh, no! Oh! Oh!
HOAGIE: Take the wheel!
ELLEN: I'm sorry. What did you say?
Take the wheel.
No, I can't. Sure, you can.
No, I mean, I... I don't know how.
Nobody does till they learn.
What are you doing?
You better take the wheel or we'll be swimming in five minutes.
HOAGIE: Whoa, take it easy! Take it easy!
Hold her gently. She'll damn near fly herself.
See? Just like driving a car.
Where do I pull off the road?
(LAUGHS) No, you're doing fine.
I'll keep you out of trouble.
Relax.
Where are we going?
One time, I was flying supplies up the Amazon
when I came down in the jungle.
You're not gonna tell me, are you?
I was picked up by this tribe of head-hunters,
and they took me to see their chief.
You are impossible!
He took a long look at me
and he took me in his hut.
Inside his hut, there was a long pole...
(ELLEN LAUGHING)
(CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING)
ELLEN: What is all this?
Just a little something I arranged to cheer you up.
No, really.
What?
Tell me, what is all this?
It's a local festival.
It's called a Junkanoo.
MICHAEL OVER RADIO: Yeah, I tell you, I'm not... I'm not
hearing anything up here, buddy.
How many have you tagged, exactly? How many?
Michael, stop busting my bunghie.
(CHUCKLING)
Yeah, it's okay for you, but not for me, huh?
Have no fear, Jake is here.
I just struck the mother lode. I'm counting.
You better watch yourself with that fancy
electrical equipment down there, buddy.
Such a live wire is liable to make your hair stick up funny.
(LAUGHS) That's good, Michael. William?
Yeah, there's no hope for that boy.
(MEN LAUGHING)
Jake? Jake, that's a joke.
Holy shit!
We got a big fish down here, man.
Oh, yeah? How big?
Jesus! Look out!
Shit! Look out!
HOAGIE: What's wrong?
Ellen?
Jesus Christ!
HOAGIE: Ellen, what's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing. I'm fine.
No, you're not.
I'm terrific.
Come on!
Give it up!
You can't keep doing this.
I can't keep doing this.
Hey, you promised me a drink.
Sharks come and go, Ellen.
People have got nothing to do with it.
A drink with an umbrella in it.
Ellen, give it up.
Give it a kick in the ass.
Get on with your life.
I know what you've been through.
Don't worry. The nightmares'll go away.
Give me my glasses, man.
CLARENCE: Boy, I ain't never seen nothin' so big. Never!
I was standin' right next to Michael.
The blasted thing went right past me!
Should've gone for you, Jake. It was right over you.
Why did it come up?
What the hell's it doing in warm water anyway, man?
What's the difference, man? It's here.
It's only a shark. A great, big, beautiful shark.
You two are makin' it into somethin' it's not.
And it's ours. Don't say anything to anyone, man.
Fishermen find out, they're gonna try to kill it first thing you know, huh?
Michael, we got us a great white.
Now, we gonna do some real research, boy.
Do me a favor, will you? Don't... Don't say anything about this to my mom.
Hey, man, I didn't mean to, you know, flap my lips, eh?
(ELLEN LAUGHING)
(HOAGIE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(HOAGIE LAUGHING)
HOAGIE: (SIGHS) So... ELLEN: So?
I said to him, "Where's the disinfectant?"
He said, "I've left it in town. "
So I said, "What are we gonna do?"
So he says, "I'll tell you what we'll do.
"Come back at lunchtime, all the flies will be in the kitchen. "
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
CARLA: Come to bed.
He took her sightseeing.
Well, you work. I work.
I mean, she needs someone to help her take her mind off things.
(LAUGHS)
I'll help you take your mind off things, sailor.
It's soaking.
(SIGHS)
Thank you.
Good night.
(MOUTHING)
(MOUTHING) Five minutes.
Louisa.
It's okay. It's all right, Jake. I'll check on the table.
(ALL CHEERING)
HOAGIE: Okay. Okay, everything rides. Everything rides.
Ooh, hey, it's Hoagie!
Hey, come on, I wanna see this.
Oh, that's Hoagie, all right.
(ALL CLAMORING)
HOAGIE: Everything on the line.
You're not... You're not betting it all?
All or nothing at all.
Here. Do you want to throw the dice for me?
No!
Now get ready. Are you ready?
(ALL CHEERING)
ALL: Oh!
I guess that's bad?
Depends on your point of view.
JAKE: Ooh, look at that. Come here to Daddy, girl!
All right! Look at you.
You look great! And that dress! Gorgeous!
It's on the house.
See? I knew there was a reason I could afford all this.
Thank you, Shirley!
My father used to say to me, "Jake...
"Jake, man, you got two loves in your life.
"What you do and who you're with. "
(ALL LAUGHING)
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Happy birthday, Louisa.
Happy birthday. ALL: Happy birthday, Louisa!
And a happy New Year.
MICHAEL: Happy New Year, everybody!
Happy New Year. Happy New Year.
Don't go weak in the knees on me tonight, boy.
You're gonna need all the strength you got.
Oh! JAKE: All right, girl.
I knew a one-armed piano player once,
took two minutes to play the Minute Waltz.
(ALL LAUGHING)
You know, you oughta watch how you talk to Michael and I.
We're about to be famous.
Hey, tell 'em about our discovery. Jake!
No job talk. You promised.
You promised.
(SLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Right.
Would you risk a dance with me, madam?
You'll be sorry.
So will you. I have two right feet.
That's good, 'cause I have two left.
Well, that's a set.
A little quiet tonight.
New Year's blues?
No. No, not at all.
Come on. It's my party.
He's just Michael,
he's startin' to count them damn conch in his sleep, you know?
(LOUISA LAUGHS)
Excuse me.
Mind if I cut in?
Please.
The world would be a better place
if more sons danced with their mothers.
Michael, stop pouting.
You look like you did when you were six
and didn't get something you wanted.
I like him. I enjoy his company.
MICHAEL: Yeah.
I don't like him chasing around after you.
I don't trust him.
ELLEN: He's not chasing. I'm not running.
You are being ridiculous.
Look, I've been a pain in the ass and I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna bother you anymore about your work.
You're not a pain in the ass.
Come on, let me finish.
I've been rehearsing this all day. (CHUCKLES)
Your brother's death almost killed me.
I don't know, I'll never get over it.
But I refuse to let myself be run by an obsession.
I can't keep on believing it was intentional.
I finally figured it out.
Good.
That's it, "Good"?
I thought you'd break out the champagne.
No, I'm... I'm pleased.
Come on. Show your mother what a good dancer you are.
Where is everybody?
JAKE: Down here!
(EXHALES) (HUMMING)
Where is Clarence and William?
I gave them the day off.
What for? We got a job to finish.
Why are you making a transmitter?
It's all part of the master plan, Michael.
We're gonna test it out right now.
We're gonna learn about its motor systems, its heart rate.
(HEART BEATING) (CHUCKLING)
We're going to study an animal, a magnificent animal
no one really knows that much about.
As the sun slowly sets in the west,
we bid a fond farewell to the family of conch.
What the hell are you talking about?
We write it up, wrap it up and hand it in, brother.
(HEART BEATING)
Hey, how come your heart's so stronger than mine. You got two of them?
Wait, we don't write up anything until we're finished.
When I was a small boy, my father said to me, "Jake...
"Jake, never do anything today you can put off till tomorrow. "
(BEEPING)
And them conch gonna be there tomorrow, Michael.
Look, when we got the grant, it was specified...
No, when I got the grant.
Okay, when I signed on, I...
When I invited you.
We got the grant together.
When we finally got the grant together.
Look, we got three months' work left on this thing.
We can't write a report. We don't know enough.
Michael, we got a rare bird here. You know that, huh?
Great white don't come down to the Bahamas, never.
Never.
We supposed to let an opportunity like that just swim away?
Look, my name goes on the report, okay?
If it's a half-assed job, I don't get my doctorate and neither do you.
I thought we were planning a long, rosy future together, man.
So did I.
Hey! Hey!
Michael,
anybody home in there at all?
Man, you better beam down to Earth with the rest of us.
Even if that shark's still in the water,
it's not gonna be there forever, you know?
It's gonna figure out the water's too warm. It's gonna swim away.
Look me in the eyes, boy.
Tell me you don't want to study that fish as much as I do.
Michael? Huh? This is what we trained for.
This is what we studied them damn books for.
Remember, my name goes on that report, too.
It's as important to me as it is to you, right?
All right, you like them damn snails?
All right, all right, I'll make you a deal.
Huh? Listen.
We study that shark, just for a few days,
and it's back to your lovely snails.
Now, that's fair, man. That's fair.
Come on, indulge me with it, eh?
I don't know shit about electronics.
Boy, you don't know shit about anything.
(LAUGHS)
It's time you learned.
I'll teach you how to wear your hair.
I'll teach you how to dance. Come on.
Teach you how to box. Come on, follow me.
Get your butt down here, man.
This is the third time this month you've forgotten to take it out.
I got a lot on my mind, all right?
Does it take that much to remember what day they come?
My brain is shrinking. You know, there's only so much room
for fun things like garbage!
Oh, don't give me that preoccupied scientist crap.
I'm trying to get ready for one of the biggest events of my career.
Oh, yeah, okay. Well, I thought artists
worked with their subconscious, huh.
How come it's my responsibility?
Because.
Oh. Okay, now I understand.
All you had to do was explain it.
I take out the garbage... Because.
Good. I'm glad we got that straightened out.
We don't have anything straightened out.
You're uptight about something.
What's wrong?
Why should there be anything wrong?
I'm sitting around the house enjoying my day off,
my wife starts yelling at me about the garbage.
What the hell are we arguing about?
I don't know. I...
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know.
Hey.
No fair, I'm not armed.
Then don't come any closer.
Turn it off. Off. No.
I have work.
I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder.
I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy.
Shut the door.
Uh-huh. Later.
(GIGGLING)
(MOANING)
Michael,
shut the door.
(GIGGLING)
MICHAEL: You sure you've done this before?
Oh, yeah, lots of times, man.
Just trust your Uncle Jake, eh?
It's always worked, huh?
Well, uh, thus far.
Okay, take me out.
Little more.
There it is! It's comin'! It's comin'!
You remember how to pull rope, eh?
Yeah.
(YELLING)
Yes, Jake! You got him, man!
Ah! Now would be a good time!
Did you see that, man?
All right, let's try to follow it, yeah?
Now, we're gonna see if Uncle Jake's equipment
is really working for us.
JAKE: Michael! Come on, move your ass, man!
Our little island seems to agree with you.
I have my own little island.
Yet it's so cold in the winter. I tried winter once.
Here we are. Burlington, Vermont.
I flew a run to New York. Oh!
I have a bone in my left foot that hasn't thawed yet.
When I was a small boy...
That is not hard to imagine, by the way.
I dreamed of always being warm.
What do you want?
Whatever we had last time.
Two Bahama Mamas, please.
Stay awhile. I'll take some time off.
You're always taking time off.
I like to travel. I'll nick the boss' plane again.
Won't you get in trouble?
Not if he doesn't find out.
It's just a hop down to the Caribbean. We'll spend a few days.
There must be a lot of ladies who'd be glad to go.
Yeah, there are, but...
I've grown tired of one-way conversations.
I have an irresistible urge to kiss you, Ellen Brody.
Why?
Because it would not occur to you why.
Blushing suits you.
Lord... (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
It's nothing to be sorry about.
No, I mean, this whole thing...
The whole idea is preposterous.
I don't think so.
You sure you don't need glasses?
I'm a pilot.
My vision is perfect.
JAKE: What are we getting outta this old bucket?
What she's got. Nine knots.
Shit! We should be keeping up with that damn shark.
You sure you got the throttle open, man?
Wide open.
(SHARK HEART BEATING)
Come on, you overgrown goldfish! Come to Uncle Jake.
How long have you known Hoagie?
What?
How long have you known Hoagie?
What the hell's Hoagie got to do with this?
How long?
I don't know, Michael. Since he got here.
Will you bring her to starboard.
When did he get here?
Who?
Hoagie!
Christ, man! One day he was just here, that's all.
What do you know about him?
He's after my mother.
(LAUGHS)
What's so funny about that?
You think he's not good enough for your mother, eh?
But I agree. Because if she was my mother,
I'd pack her up and send her home right now.
Bring her about, we're going in the wrong direction.
I mean, you know, some of these pilots are flying drugs down here.
He's always going off somewhere... You don't know.
Bring her about, Michael. Now, bring her about. Now!
I am!
Hurry, man, we're losin' him!
Come on, you must know something about him.
Christ, man! He likes gambling,
he likes women, don't bother me!
I hear he flies a lotta private charters.
Damn! We lost him!
Maybe your gear crapped out.
Maybe you crapped out, flappin' your lips about Hoagie.
Maybe he's gone.
All right, Mr. Fish.
We'll come back and find you tomorrow.
All he did was kiss me!
CARLA: Well, that's a beginning.
A beginning of what?
To whatever happens next.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
I used to think that I'd be able to handle these situations
once I was grown up, but I don't even know if he's serious.
Mmm, give it some time, Ellen. See what happens.
Well, part of me wanted to go off with him.
I couldn't.
I don't know why he wants me.
Maybe he's got good taste.
Yeah, I don't think he's spent much time with a woman like you.
I don't know what he thinks. I don't know what I think.
I don't know why we're even talking about this. This is so silly!
I mean, I feel too old to be in this thing.
Oh, I hope not. I mean, I am counting on a long, happy sex life.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
You said it wasn't polite to interrupt people.
Yes, I did.
It's time for tea, Grandma.
ELLEN: Oh, I almost forgot.
I didn't. I put everything in my room.
My teddy bear's joining us.
(ELLEN LAUGHS)
(GASPS)
(PANTING)
CARLA: Michael?
Michael, what is it?
Nothing, just a stupid dream.
Hmm.
(SIGHS)
(EXHALES)
Time for bed, peanut.
Oh, no!
Yep, yep, Daddy's got homework.
But you let me last night.
Yeah, yeah.
Mommy's waiting to read you a story.
Good night, sweetheart!
THEA: Good night, Daddy. Good night, Grandma.
Night. Let's put up our feet and shoot the breeze,
or whatever it is beer drinkers do.
(CHUCKLES)
I... I got to put together what we need for this report, Ma.
Jake always says, "Don't do today what
"you can put off till tomorrow. "
Yeah, Jake's got a lot of those.
I'm leaving in a few days. I don't want to do that with you unhappy.
I'm not unhappy.
I saw you and Thea. You don't know what it did to me.
You looked just like your father.
Do you remember when you guys used to imitate him?
Mom, I gotta get this finished, okay?
I worry about you.
There's nothing to worry about.
I'm your mother. It's my job.
Just 'cause you're a man doesn't mean I've retired.
I've worked on my smile. It's... It's your turn.
That's better.
JAKE OVER RADIO: Blump, blump! Blump, blump!
Jake, knock it off!
Blump, blump.
All right, just don't try to renege on our deal.
We get a half a day on the snails
and then half a day on the shark.
You got 17 more minutes down there,
then you're gonna come up here,
and we're gonna go look for that shark.
Listen, it's a big ocean, you know?
I mean, we could spend the rest of our lives looking for it.
We're gonna find him.
MICHAEL: Listen, I got about a half a dozen.
I'm gonna tag 'em. I'll be right up.
You hearin' anything?
Nothin' at all. Just another cool,
calm, tickly day in the Bahamas.
Just stay within a quarter mile.
I got a three-mile radius on the monitor.
He come within three miles, we should have
plenty of time to beam your ugly ass up.
(HEART BEATING ON MONITOR)
Michael, I got him.
Michael, he's comin' towards you.
You better get out of the water now.
All right, I'm comin', I'm comin'.
(WHIRRING)
Shit!
Jake!
Michael! Michael!
Michael!
Michael, what's goin' on?
Michael, can you hear me?
Michael! Michael, can you hear me?
Michael!
(PANTING)
Son of a bitch! Oh, shit!
Jesus Christ!
(GRUNTING)
JAKE: It's over there!
Shit! Get the bang sticks, we're goin' down.
Bang sticks are no good, man.
Goin' down, all of us!
(PANTING)
(LOUD THUDDING)
Come on, come on! Michael!
Get him up! Get him up! Watch his arm! Watch his arm!
Put him over here. Lay him down gently.
Give me something for a tourniquet. Gotta stop his bleeding, man.
Easy with you.
Here, try this! JAKE: Get that wet suit off.
Get the wet suit off.
I'll go get some disinfectant.
Keep cool, man, don't worry about nothin'.
Michael, how are you? It's under control.
I think he may be in shock.
Clarence, move it!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, what you doin', man?
Nah, no one goes in the water
till we know where that fish is.
You fall off the horse, you get right back on or you don't ride again.
What the hell? What kind of bullcrap you talkin'? Huh?
Fallin' off a horse, man. Anybody's supposed
to go back in the water, it's me.
Jake, I'm gonna go down.
All right, so... What about Carla's gig? It's almost time, man.
Michael, I can't just let you go back down.
I'm scared shitless.
What the hell am I supposed to do
if I can't go back in that water?
All right, be careful.
Clarence, get up on that shack.
Give us some lookout with them glasses, all right?
I hope the man knows what he's doing.
Yeah, well, he's doin' what he's got to do, eh.
Jake, what's the monitor look like?
Are you gettin' anything on the shark?
No, everything's cool.
You know, I'm thinkin' about yesterday. It's probably all a mistake.
He was just hungry. You got that tasty look, you know?
Yeah, but how come only me, though, you know?
Maybe he just like white meat.
You're a funny guy, Jake.
Jesus!
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
COMMISSIONER OVER MIC: "It is about art that I wish to speak today.
"The raw material of art surrounds us all,
"catching in the net that each and every one of us casts
"into the current of life.
"But it takes the art... "
Where the hell are they?
They'll be here.
Can I go on the banana boat?
(SHUSHING)
Margaret's going. She's with her mother.
Okay.
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Thea, you be careful.
I will, I will! ELLEN: Thea!
It's okay. Banana boats are fun.
Oh, we should be so lucky. I wish we were out there with her playin'.
Margaret, wait for me!
"Get to the point, man," as my wife now says.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay. Well, in short, art is grease for the wheel of life.
Today, we are privileged to dedicate a work of art.
Carla Brody,
an artist of growing reputation,
was commissioned to express our way of life in permanent form
to show the world what we all know right here on this beach.
That it is better in the Bahamas.
Absolutely.
Ladies and gentlemen, Carla Brody!
(ALL APPLAUDING)
Thank you, Commissioner Witherspoon, Mrs. Witherspoon.
Thea!
Oh, my God!
Thea!
MAN: Get out of the water!
Stop! Come back! Bring her back!
Oh, my God!
(SCREAMING)
Stop! Thea! Thea!
Thea!
Somebody do something!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
Thea!
No! No!
No! Oh, my God!
Oh! Oh, my God!
Mommy! Mommy!
Thea, are you all right?
Somebody get a doctor! Get a doctor now!
MAN: Quickly!
GIRL: I want my mom!
(ENGINE STARTS)
Hey, I'm sorry I missed you.
Where have you been?
What's the matter? What happened?
Thea was attacked by a shark.
Oh, my God.
The doctor said she should be all right. She's in shock.
(GROANING)
Sweetheart? Sweetheart?
Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I should've known. Jesus.
Should've known what?
We were trying to keep track of it.
Of... The shark.
The shark? You knew?
Yeah, thought it went away.
Came after me yesterday.
She could've been killed. You knew?
And you didn't tell us?
You let your mother think...
Where is she? How could you do that?
Where's my mother? Your own daughter?
Where is my mother?
Why didn't you tell us?
Where's Jake?
(YELLING) Why didn't you tell us?
Michael!
Jake!
What?
Come on! I need you! Hurry up!
Hoagie! Did you see our boat?
HOAGIE: I just got here.
My mother took it.
I hope she's a good sailor.
A shark attacked Thea and some kids.
She went after the damn thing.
She's gone after it?
Yeah, we gotta stop her.
You're going after her in that?
It'll take all day in that bathtub.
You got a better idea, man?
I'll radio her position.
And the rescue boats will come and pick her up, so don't worry.
She'll be fine, partner.
She'll never find that bloody shark, man. We couldn't.
MICHAEL: It'll find her.
JAKE: What do you mean, "It'll find her"?
She said it was coming.
What do you mean, "She said it was coming"?
What do you know about it?
Well, she's got the idea in her head
that the shark that killed Martin and Sean is following the family.
Hey, he's not talkin' about our shark, eh?
What do you do when you're not flying people?
I deliver laundry.
Hold on. What's that? Let's have a look.
Oh.
It's a big ocean out there.
MICHAEL: Can't this thing go any faster?
If I go any faster, this thing'll turn into a flying Cuisinart
and we'll be diced into oblivion.
Come and get me, you son of a bitch.
There she is. That's her right there.
Is that what I think it is?
Mom... Hold on!
(GASPS)
HOAGIE: Thomas, my boy, are you there?
This is Zero-Papa-Alpha here.
THOMAS OVER RADIO: Hoagie, where the hell are you?
I'm 12 miles southeast of Emerald Key.
Look for a ketch called Neptune's Folly.
I need a coupla boats fast and somebody who can kill a shark, a big one.
What're you doing?
I'm practicing landing.
Hang on to your socks, lads.
Hey! Wait a minute, man. You sure you know how to do this?
Of course not! What kind of pilot do you think I am?
Christ! Hell, that wasn't half bad.
Get out of here, I'll keep it busy.
No, it's gonna come for the plane.
It's attracted to the electromagnetic impulse of the metal on it.
HOAGIE: Get the bloody hell out of here!
Michael!
Damn passengers! You're all the same. Complain, complain...
Oh, shit!
Hoagie!
Hoagie! Hoagie!
Why... Why'd you come out here?
Why did you bring him? Why? Mom, Mom!
Why'd you take the boat?
It kept coming! Didn't you realize what you were doing?
I had to do it. There was nothing else to do.
Mom, you shouldn't have done it.
(SOBBING) I tried to tell you.
I tried.
Hey! Give me a hand here, for Christ's sake!
Hoagie!
How the hell did you do that, man?
It wasn't easy, believe me.
Get him up. Get him up. Quick. Got him!
(HOAGIE GRUNTING)
Pull him up. Right.
You all right, man? Oh!
Oh! Bloody hell.
Get it started! Double-time. The breath on that thing!
(LAUGHS) You are alive!
Oh!
Let's get out of here, Ellen Brody. Oh!
(ENGINE STUTTERING)
Good, this thing's still working.
That's your engine, pal. I'll have a look at it.
(HEART BEATING ON MONITOR)
Oh, shit, he's close, man.
What is that sound?
That's the shark's heartbeat.
Hoagie, see if you can get that thing finished, man.
Michael, give me a hand down here, man. I got an idea.
We're taking water down here. Ellen, start pumping here.
Ellen, get the bilge pump!
What's going on? What do you need?
JAKE: Take the transmitter out on one of them radios
and hook it to this here strobe.
Just do it! Just do it!
We gotta get the engine started!
Michael, just do it!
If that shark attacks us again
we're gonna feed that big boy a meal he won't forget.
You better have something good going over there.
We've got a rotten hose here.
There's a spare one down there somewhere.
What you wanna do with this?
I'm riggin' the receiver. If it works,
we get it inside that bastard and then we set it off.
I got it. I got it. I got it.
We rig an antenna on this, we got a slave unit
that'll shock the hell out of him.
Right! You're learning, partner.
(LOUD HEARTBEATS)
He's getting closer!
They spend half their lives looking for food,
and the other half eating it, they don't care what it is.
Maybe he's got indigestion. He's already eaten my plane!
It's not food he's after.
Michael, turn on your switch. I wanna get a test here.
All right, anybody ever tell you you're nuts? (CHARGING)
All the time, partner.
This is all theory, though.
If it responds to external electrical impulse,
it might respond to one coming from inside it.
Confuse him, drive him crazy.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHINING) All right, give me a test.
Good.
You'd better get up here! The heartbeat's stopped!
Shit.
Either he's gone or your gear's crapped out again.
No, no, that's bull, man. My equipment don't crap out.
He'll be back.
Get me the boat hook.
HOAGIE: Maybe he had a heart attack.
Too much bloody food.
Humans are full of cholesterol, you know?
Give me the hook. Shit! Where the hell is he?
(HEART BEATING ON MONITOR)
All right, give me that line, Michael.
Right there.
There he is!
Ellen, try the engine.
Ellen, try to start the engine!
Come on!
(ENGINE STARTS)
Son of a bitch. Let's get out of here.
JAKE: No, it's too late, Hoagie. He's gonna come for us.
Give me a hard port.
Right!
Here, give me that. Come on.
JAKE: No, look, this looks bad here. No!
Michael, we have no time for that thing!
Jake! Jake, you can't go out there without a line!
Keep it steady. It's gonna come back!
Damn thing's disappeared. He's gone!
(INAUDIBLE)
Jake!
We're taking too much water. It'll stop the engine.
Ellen, take the wheel. We've got to outrun it. Ellen!
That thing gonna work?
It'll work.
If Jake says it will work, it will work.
This kinda charge will drive it crazy.
(SCREAMING) Help!
(SCREAMING)
(HIGH-PITCHED WHINE)
(GROWLING)
(ROARING)
(TAPPING)
Sweet Jesus, we're headed straight for it!
Come about, Ellen!
Ellen, come about!
(HIGH-PITCHED WHINE)
(ROARING)
HOAGIE: He's gonna hit us. Hold on! Hold on!
Smile, you son of a bitch! (GUN FIRING)
(EXPLOSION)
Michael!
Come over here.
Michael!
It's all right! I'm okay!
JAKE: Anybody alive?
Over here!
Jake!
Michael, you got a minute?
It's Jake!
Son of a bitch!
Jesus, Jake.
What took you so damn long, man?
What the hell are you doing alive, huh?
I told you... I told you Uncle Jake's equipment don't crap out, eh?
You're not going to do something stupid like die on me, are you?
No, man. I'm way too mean for that.
All right, here you go.
So from now on, we're going to study snails, eh?
Yeah.
I want you all to come to Amity this summer.
CARLA: Yeah, we'll be there.
You make sure they come.
THEA: I will. I'll miss you, Grandma.
Get in, Ellen Brody. You'll miss your plane.
Goodbye, Grandma! Bye, baby.
Okay. Be careful.
Okay. See ya.
Take good care of Jake.
I will.
You gonna be okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
When I come back, remind me to tell you about the time
I took 100 nuns to Nairobi.
There they were, 100 nuns, playing guitars
and singing, "The hills are alive with the sound of music. "
Then suddenly, one comes up to me and she says,
"There's smoke coming from the engine. "
But I never took them seriously,
until they all started singing Nearer, My God, to Thee.