Hey Deej, wait until you see the prom dress I just bought.
It is so me.
Is that a good thing?
Are you kidding?
Well, of course I haven't bought the batteries yet.
Duane is gonna love it.
Wow, you have a date and a dress.
So far my prom is looking like a bag of chips
and our remote control.
Deej, you spend your whole year dating Nelson and Viper.
Nobody knows you're available.
I'll put the word out.
You're not gonna do anything tacky, are you?
Of course not.
Let me borrow your magic marker.
Kimmy, I don't want my name on a locker room wall.
Right, initials and phone number.
No, Kimmy! Kimmy! Kimmy, give it back!
♪ Everywhere you look everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
'Heels down, Michelle, look up and open up your shoulders.'
'Look at your fence and give your pony'
'enough time to see that fence.'
'Good, open up your shoulders, look up.'
'Good.'
Hey Michelle, you're doing great.
Thanks.
You see, all those quarters
we pumped into that little horse
in front of the supermarket really paid off.
I'd be even better if I didn't have to share time with Joey.
'Okay, Michelle, heels down..'
Hey, well, let's see..
Riding hat, riding pants, riding boots.
Wild guess. You were riding?
And jumping.
She did great. I don't know, Becky
there's something about being around horses
that just makes you wanna
shower and shower again.
- Hey, Aunt Becky. - Hey, Steph.
You're usually home from school before this.
Well, I stayed late to work on my scene for drama class.
It's so cool.
We're doing the balcony scene from "Romeo and Juliet."
And I'm Juliet, and Andrew Berkley is my Romeo.
He's a total babe.
You know, I did that play in junior-high.
It wasn't a lot of fun though.
Well, I went to an all-girl's school.
In fact, I was Romeo.
Well you see, the only problem is
whenever we get to the kissing part
he just stops.
That's because you have dry lips.
Excuse me, but I do not have dry lips.
Oh, yeah? They look like two sun-dried Gummy Bears.
Steph, don't listen to her, your lips aren't..
You might wanna think about breathing through your nose.
Chap Stick, I need Chap Stick.
Hey, Beck, guess what two whacky DJ's
have an audition for their own late-night whacky TV-show?
Casey Kasem and Howard Stern?
No, and no. I will give you a hint.
One of them is the father of your children.
But I said Howard Stern.
No, it's us.
We came up with a great concept.
Joey, tell her.
You see, Beck..
each week we'll go to an unusual location
and meet with unusual people, with unusual jobs.
We'll get to experience just what it's like to be..
...unusual!
Oh, I think you pretty much got that part down.
You see, for our audition, we're gonna tag-team wrestle
Sven and Ingemar, the Swedish Spleen Stampers.
Here's something, Jess, if we're gonna be on live TV
with professional wrestlers, I better go find my tights.
Cause if not, I'm gonna have to shave my legs.
God, I hope he finds 'em.
Well, honey, I think that this is great
but are you sure you have time for another project?
Honey, we're talking about my own TV show here.
Yeah, I know, but you already have your own radio show
your own band, your own club, and your own kids
and your own wife who likes to see you
more than 12 minutes a day.
Well, there's some things we'll always have time for.
'Hey Jess! Can I borrow your razor?'
Gotta go.
Hey, Deej, great news.
I've had a healthy response to my search
to find you Mr. Right.
Call it in, boys!
Kimmy, what did you do, raid a "Star Trek" convention?
Hey, don't start getting picky now.
By the way, are you a stickler for stuff like personal hygiene?
Call me weird, but yes.
Rats! Bachelors two and five, hit the showers.
Congratulations, Kimmy, you've hit an all-time low.
Come on, Deej, at least talk to them.
You've got nothing to lose.
Except my dignity.
That's the attitude!
So..
Try not to startle them.
Um, have any of you guys ever been to a dance?
With a woman?
Who wasn't in your family?
Okay, thank you. We'll get back to you.
Okay, boys, haul it back out.
Where are you going?
I'm driving the van.
I gotta get 'em back for their allergy shots.
- Hi. - Hi.
My name is Elizabeth.
And that's my horse, Sir Reginald the Third.
I am Michelle.
And this is my horse, Old Pepper Mill, the rented.
Are you going to be in the jumping competition next week?
It's really cool.
Sounds like fun.
What do you think, Pepper Mill?
If you like the idea, just stand there.
He loves it.
Great! I'll see you there.
Hey, honey, you were fantastic out there.
You know what, I think maybe you missed a spot.
Let me please.
When you're done with that horse
could you comb out my little girl's?
I'm a parent, not a groomer.
Oh, I'm sorry, you just had the air of stable help.
In that case, I'll take the dollar, thank you.
Dad, guess what.
There's a jumping contest next week.
And I really wanna be in it.
So does Pepper Mill, he practically begged me.
I don't know, Michelle, you just started jumping.
To enter one of those contests
you need a whole formal riding outfit.
That costs a lot of money.
I don't mind.
Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
But before I make that kind of commitment, I wanna make sure
you're gonna stick with riding longer than you stuck with
ballet, and soccer, and raising sea monkeys.
I think you're making a very wise decision.
Thank you. I 'm sure as a parent, you'll understand.
Oh, absolutely.
Losing a competition can be very traumatic
for a young child.
I think you're missing my little parenting point here.
Now, this isn't about winning or losing.
Of course it isn't.
Especially if you're losing.
You wouldn't wanna get her hopes up for nothing.
I-I don't know if you saw Michelle riding out there
but if she entered the competition, she could win.
Enjoy your little fantasy, because in reality
my Elizabeth wins this competition every year.
Oh, really? Well, not this year.
Because Michelle Tanner is gonna kick your butt.
Come along, Elizabeth.
This is why you don't go to public school.
Come along, Michelle, we're going shopping.
But dad, I thought you don't want to spend
all that money on new stuff.
Yes, but that's before I was just reminded how much money
we're gonna save by sending you just to public school.
- Hey. - 'Hey, dad.'
Oh, camera and a saddle. Big date tonight?
No.
This saddle is gonna be ridden by the best-dressed rider
in the Bayview Junior Equestrian Competition.
I proudly give you the lovely Michelle Tanner.
Wow, Michelle.
Hey, if we gave you a lantern
you could stand out on the front lawn.
Thanks for buying me all this stuff, dad
but what if I don't win?
Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
Winning is not everything.
I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah, as long as you beat that Elizabeth girl
with that loud mouth mother.
I-I-I'll get that.
Michelle, scram.
- Oh. Hi, Andrew. Come in. - Hi.
So, um, you all ready to rehearse a little Shakespeare?
You bet. I've been reading the play all day.
Yeah. Me too.
Do you understand it?
- Not a word. - Me, neither.
Michelle. I said "out."
Why do I have to leave?
Because I said so.
You know, Steph, it might be a good idea to have an audience.
Exactly what I was thinking.
So, um, why don't we take it from where we left off.
Right before the kiss.
Now this I've got to see.
"My bounty is as bountless as the sea, my love is deep.
"The more I give to thee, the more I have
for both are infinite."
Uh, this is where you scale the balcony.
But for now you can just use the stairs.
Right.
I hear some noise within, dear love, adieu.
And we kiss. End of scene.
I knew it, dry lips.
Excuse me?
That's okay, I don't blame you. It's like kissing a cactus.
- Michelle! - What's the big deal?
I didn't tell him you have a crush on him.
Pardon me, Andrew, whilest I breaketh her bones!
- Dry lips, dry lips. - Shut up.
'Why don't you guys work this out?'
- 'Um, see you later, Steph.' - Listen, Andrew.
But..
Michelle, I can't believe you would do this to me!
I'm never gonna forgive you.
I guess dry lips make people cranky.
Uncle Jesse, can we talk?
Absolutely, but not right now. I got too many things going on.
Joey and I gotta work on some holds
for this wrestling thing we're doing.
Is it important, munchkin?
Well, I'm just really worried about this jumping competition.
Oh, don't worry about it. You're gonna be great.
You're gonna knock them dead, you gonna kill them, you gonna..
You're gonna do whatever it is you do at those competitions.
Jump.
Oh, yeah. Okay, you're gonna do that.
Well, I'm glad you're gonna be there on Saturday.
Well, hold that gladness, shorty.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
I've got so many things going on.
I got the.. I've gotta do the books for the Smash club.
I've got to rehearse the band, I got to find a new band
for the Smash club. I got to do this wrestling thing with Joey.
I don't think I even have time to finish this sentence.
You just did.
Oh, you see? I'm behind already.
I'm sorry, kiddo, you'll be great.
Ah, behold.
The Masked Marvel!
It's more like the Masked Meat-head.
Come on, Jess, we're gonna be in the ring
with professional wrestlers.
We gotta look the part, everything's gotta be
big and theatrical.
Now, throw another pillow on this couch
and check out this entrance.
Aargh!
'Aargh.'
Aargh!
- Joey. - Yes?
You wanna, you wanna just skip the entrance?
Okay. Yeah, I think so.
That's a, that's a good idea, Jess.
Get up, get up.
We gotta practise some wrestling holds here
so we don't look like fools in the ring, okay?
- Okay. - I'm over here.
- You're over there. - Right.
Now, come over here. I wanna put you in a little headlock here.
- Okay. - Bend over.
Can we play too, daddy?
Boys, we're not playing, we're working.
You got a weird job.
That's 'cause I have a weird partner. Alright, what's next?
Now, Jess, I do what's called an escape.
Which is?
Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! Aargh!
Aargh!
Hey, are you okay?
I think I bruised a sideburn.
- We'll help you, daddy. - No, no, no, boys.
Don't help, okay? Just, just go sit down over there.
You're no fun anymore.
Boys, there's time to have fun
and there's a time to be serious.
Right now it's time to be serious.
Joey, put your ankle in my arm-pit.
No, Jess, let's try this.
Lay down flat on the mat
and put one of your legs up in the air.
Nothing personal.
Okay. Alright.
Now, that leg up in the air.
I come over like this, I grab your foot
I put my leg over like this, I put that hand there and then..
Ow, ow. Why are you twisting my ankle?
- So that this will feel good. - What?
- Aargh! - Oh!
You got my legs all locked up.
That's the name, leg-lock.
How do we un-lock 'em?
Well, either I put my foot around your neck like this..
And..
Oh, ow, ow, ow.
This isn't working.
The other way is to, um, get the big book
of wrestling holds off my bed and see what it says.
Boys, boys, here's your chance to help daddy.
Run upstairs, and get the big book off Joey's bed.
Sorry, you said don't help.
Let's go, brother.
Boys, b..
Joey, this is all your fault.
Come here so I can smack you on the head.
Come here, come here.
Come here.
'Welcome to Bayview Equestrian Center.'
Hi, Michelle.
Hey, Elizabeth, I wanted to wish you good luck today
and tell your horse too.
Thanks, good luck to you guys too.
Hey, beautiful, how's my favorite junior jumper?
I'm okay, but old Pepper Mill could use a pep talk.
Ah. I can handle that.
Alright, Pepper Mill
I am gonna tell you the same thing my beloved track coach
told me right before my very first big track meet.
Tanner, you keep those water bottles filled.
Might not apply here, hon.
Oh, there's my little champion.
Now, listen. Don't forget.
After you win we're going out for a big, victory dinner. Hmm?
Michelle, after you win we're going out
for a big victory dinner, and a victory movie.
Now, Elizabeth..
remember what your instructor told you about visualizing.
Picture yourself jumping and clearing the hurdles.
Michelle, you picture yourself jumping and clearing
those exact same hurdles, only jumping higher and faster.
How dare you steal our visualizations?
I paid good money for those.
'The next rider is Alison Stare. She's on Lightning.'
Uh, dad, we really need to get ready for the contest.
I'll see you in the winner's circle.
Winner's circle? I guess you'll be there to congratulate us.
'The last senior contestant is Julia Picard riding Speed.'
Riding used to be fun.
Yeah, before parents got involved.
I've got an idea. Why don't we skip the contest
and just go riding on the trail? For fun.
Tanner, you're a genius.
- This is gonna be great. - Yeah.
Hey, let's head out to the trail, come on.
- Trot. - This is so fun!
- Hey. - Hey, man.
How's Michelle doing?
She's doing great. She's ready to roll.
She's champing at the bit.
Actually, that was Pepper Mill.
Mama, we want a horse.
Okay, I'll get you one when you're older.
How old?
Old enough to carry a shovel.
'Now, presenting our junior jumper competition.'
Where's my Elizabeth?
She's not there.
I guess her kid couldn't handle the pressure.
Dad, Michelle's not out there either.
I thought you just told me she was champing?
Uh, that was her horse.
He's missing too.
Okay, we'll be right back, wait here.
She's not in there.
- Where could she be? - Don't know.
Jess, what are you doing here?
Hey, guys. I re-arranged some stuff.
I'm gonna do the books tonight, rehearse tomorrow.
And I'm gonna check out the new band next week.
And if I keep talking, we're gonna miss the competition.
I'm glad you're here, but right now we gotta find Michelle.
What do you mean "find Michelle?" Where is she?
- I don't know. - Hold on, guys.
Uh, excuse me, sir, uh, have you seen a little girl..
Blond hair, about yay high, with just the cutest darn smile
and a big smelly horse?
You know, I never thought I'd get a chance to say this
but they went that-a way.
Can we borrow these horses?
- Help yourself. - Thank you.
They ain't mine.
Uh, excuse me sir, would it be okay, if I, uh..
if I borrowed this little horse right here?
That's ain't a horse, Greenhorn.
That's a burro, name's Milton.
Milton Burro. What else?
'Let's go.'
Come on, Milton. Let's go.
I like riding a horse when you don't have to win anything.
Yeah, it's cool.
Hey, wanna jump that log?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Come on, Michelle!
Trot.
Michelle!
Michelle, are you okay?
Michelle, wake up.
- Ho. - 'Michelle, wake up.'
She fell off her horse.
Michelle? Don't move her.
She hit her head.
Oh, my gosh.
What happened?
- Is she okay? - I don't know.
Michelle?
Can you hear me, honey?
Honey?
Next time on "Full House.."
I am so sorry I put so much pressure on you.
That's okay.
Who are you?
Well, memory loss is very common with head injuries.
Come on in, Michelle. Don't be scared.
Do you remember us?
Aren't you the nice people I met at the hospital?
Jesse's our uncle.
Right. The guy with the hair.
I know you all want me to remember
but I can't.
I'm sorry.
What if she never remembers us?
We're a family. We're gonna get through this.
We'll do whatever it takes.