Cogan, 7571.
Ah, frack.
This duty sucks.
Sorry, kid.
Your request has been denied.
But Captain Fuller, I just can't--
I can do nothing more.
Well I can.
I'll appeal.
You know department policy.
The decision is final.
They can't kick me off the streets
just because of how I look.
It's not how you look, it's how old you look,
or in your case, how young.
Yeah, well I'm the same age as everybody else out there.
And they weren't first in their class.
Look, Captain Fuller, you put me on desk duty and we both lose.
I ever tell you about my granddad?
Yeah, uh--
Adam Fuller, the one you were named after, right?
Back when granddad was captain, about 50 years ago,
he knew a young officer who had the exact same problem you do.
His name was Hanson, Tom Hanson.
Maybe he didn't want to work the streets anyway.
Oh yes, he did.
In fact, that's all he wanted.
That's why they sent him to Jump Street
Jump Street, what's that?
It was a chameleon operation for underage-looking officers.
Grandad ran it out of a church over on Jump Street.
Sent his offices straight into high schools,
that kind of stuff.
You've probably heard of some of them today.
Well, where do I apply?
You don't.
They dismantled the program a long time ago.
The people in it were really something, or so I'm told,
I never actually met any of them myself.
Well maybe you'd change your mind if you did.
Maybe.
[music playing]
COMPUTER: Transmitting Officer John Cogan.
Officer John Cogan, so, she finally made
good on her threats and called you.
Well, you can tell her from me that just music was
meant to be listened to loud. - Mr. Hanson--
And while you're at it, you can also tell her
that I don't much like listening to the Tiffany laser
dish she plays day and night.
Mr. Hanson, I'm not here about that.
Tell me about Jump Street.
Well, do you want we should talk in the hallway
like two bums or something? Get in here.
[THEME - HOLLY ROBINSON - "21 JUMP STREET"]
[SINGING] We never thought we'd find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.
I said jump, down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us cuz there's no one else to call.
When it was hopeless, a decision's what you need.
You better be ready to--
be ready to jump, 21 Jump Street.
What can I tell you about the Jump Street program?
Well, a better man than me said it better than me.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Come on.
Tom?
Amy?
It was the age of wisdom.
It was the age of foolishness.
[screams]
[horn honking]
"In short, the period was so far like the present period
that some of its noisiest authorities
insisted on its being received for good and for evil,
in the superlative degree of comparison only."
Charles Dickens, 1859, "A Tale of Two Cities."
50 years later and you still know it by heart.
Well I ought to, I mean, every school we worked in read it.
What are you hoping to get out of a bunch of old timers?
I want to show him how it was done.
How was it done?
Well, damned if I know.
All I remember is how I got into it, or almost didn't.
The department's got an undercover program.
It's the mayor's baby.
Nobody on the force knows about this except silver shields
and up.
It's called Jump Street Chapel.
Well, the reason it's called that
is because this particular undercover unit works out
of an old abandoned chapel on the corner
of Jump Street and 6th.
Interested?
Not yet.
Every year the department takes younger-looking officers,
at least the younger looking ones we
think can handle the pressure, teach
them how to be teenagers again.
Then we send them out to various high schools
where we can use a good man undercover.
Kind of like Fast Times at Bust Your Buddy High?
Yeah.
No thanks.
See, I hated high school the first time, you know--
swimming in gym without trunks, health films,
not getting the girl you want because you
don't wear groovy enough shoes.
And I don't think I'd get off cuffing
some kid who threw a spitball at his chemistry teacher.
I've had 11 homicides in high school since December.
Look, I went to the academy to go on patrol,
to be a police officer like my--
to enforce the law.
Tom, it's either this or I assign
you a desk at Parker Center until you
look old enough to be a cop.
I am a cop.
Hey genius, why do you think I'm making this offer?
Mr. Holier-than-thou, that was me in those days.
And how about that haircut?
The first thing I noticed about Tom Hanson
was his haircut.
Who is this guy, I thought.
Looks like somebody out of dental school.
Of course, anybody would have seemed square next
to our commanding officer, Richard
Jenko, Captain Richard Jenko.
He was-- he was different.
Hey.
COMPUTER: Real different.
They called us the kiddie cops.
But he was the biggest kid of them all.
Hey, can you believe that guy, huh?
He could squeeze more music out of a Stratocaster
than Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Alvin Lee
put together, man.
Jimmy was the best.
Too bad he had to throw it all away
on a short ride getting high.
I'm not familiar with him.
Who did he play with?
God.
Even now I can never get used to funerals.
And back then it was even tougher,
especially when a drunk driver killed our commanding officer.
After Jenko passed, we got--
oh, bother.
It-- yeah, Phil--
Full-- Fuller, Adam Fuller.
You know, when I walked into that place,
I could tell what those kids expected was
a junior version of Rich Jenko.
What they got was a different story.
Oh, I have no intentions of taking Jenko's place.
You going to stick around?
Good luck.
One thing about Fuller, he never took crap from anybody.
And he never gave it out neither.
You always knew where you stood.
He was tough, all right.
No doubt about it.
But you know what I remember the most?
His shirts.
I know when his grandson, your captain,
talks about Fuller today, he talks
about how he was the best commanding officer
the force ever had.
This is true.
But let me tell you something else, that man had style.
Course, Fuller wasn't the only fine looking man on the force.
All three of the guys I worked with were pretty gorgeous.
You'd think that would have been a problem,
but it wasn't, not even the one time it almost became one.
What are you doing?
I'm sorry, I just thought I needed to do that.
I guess not.
It's OK.
I can't believe I'm kissing Doug Penhall.
Yeah.
I was worried about how Doug would take it.
But you know what?
He was a perfect gentleman.
A total chump, that's what it was.
Never had it so good.
What do I do?
Throw it away.
On the other hand, I still have a friendship
with Jude that just won't quit.
And to this day, Penhall means more to me
than all the people I met in politics put together.
Given up the other stuff was worth it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We showed good judgment.
And you know what?
Not a day passes when I don't regret it.
Hmm, Hanson?
All I can say is this, next to Tom Hanson,
even Abe Lincoln would look corrupt, and modest too.
I was just doing my job.
I never thought of it as anything else.
Looking back, I guess I did tend to take things a bit
too seriously.
Oh, I'm talking dead serious, that was Hanson.
Oh, he had a sense of humor.
But most of the time he kept it hid.
I don't want to play amateur psychologist or anything.
But I do think a lot of what made
Hanson tick had to do with his father
and what happened to him.
Two cops, huh?
Hey.
I've gotta make a pit stop.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
You sure?
You don't look so good.
What?
Have you been eating here?
[gunshot]
I don't know why.
He's never late.
I had a really nice time.
You weren't such a bad dancer.
You weren't such a bad kisser.
Yeah?
We should do it again.
Sometime let's not wait to Valentine's Day.
Okey dokey.
Finally.
Tommy?
Are you OK?
He only mentioned it once.
And when he did, he seemed in control.
But I used to wonder that's a heavy thing
for a teenager to handle.
See, I always thought about Hanson as this very emotional
guy who kept it all under the surface, you know,
like his sense of humor--
like his everything.
Well, all I can say is he was just devoted to his job.
That's the kind of cop Hanson was.
It's your basic Puritan ethic, whatever else is going on,
work comes first.
And there ain't nothing glamorous about it.
Sure, I felt that way.
Still do.
Not that I had a very active personal life anyway.
And if he tells you that he had no personal life,
don't believe him.
He was fighting them off in the fourth grade.
Your offer is accepted with pleasure.
You get the picture, he got older,
they get more aggressive.
Look, why don't you drive us to a coffee shop?
I'll buy you some waffles.
I don't want any waffles.
All right, then drive us to the florist.
I'll buy you some flowers.
I don't want any flowers.
All right, then, drive me to my apartment.
I'll let you make love to me.
I don't want--
And they didn't mince words, neither.
Go lock the door.
Do it.
Like I said, if he tells you otherwise, don't believe him.
I was never much with the ladies, believe me.
Even as a kid, I caught hell.
Kind of light on your feet, ain't you?
And the situation didn't improve as I got older.
I remember a bus came into our office last year,
and this was a major crack dealer.
We had a pound of coke sitting in a locker.
And this idiot undercover cop totally mishandled
the continuity of evidence.
I couldn't even file.
That was you?
You busted that kid in Piedmont?
You get the picture.
Penhall used to say that I had all
the luck, which proves that reality
is just a point of view.
My favorite case--
you're fresh out of the academy, still full of dreams.
I understand that.
I've been there myself.
I also understand why you're so into all
this ancient Jump Street history.
You want to get something going just like it, right?
Like you said, still full of dreams.
Good, good, good.
Because when our dreams go, the best part of us goes with them.
Still, when you asked me what my favorite case was,
you made it sound like it was some sort of recipe.
Anyway, I didn't have a favorite case.
Of course, there were some I got into more than others.
Come here.
yeah, you, son.
Come here.
Do this.
Do this line.
Go ahead, do it. - Do what?
Do this line.
Just say it.
He's perfect.
He looks just like a cop.
Looks like a cop?
I'm not an actor.
Neither is he.
Look, just say the line, OK?
Don't try and act it.
Just say the line.
Don't even try and act.
You got some ID, punk?
All right, now say it again with a little attitude,
like you're really saying it to me, like you really hate me.
Got some ID, punk?
That was great.
I'm in heaven.
No, no I told you already, I'm not an actor.
Hey, you get $380.
You've got some ID, punk?
Hey.
DIRECTOR: Cut. Print.
Don't kill the star.
OK, folks we're in the wrong place.
Let's get moving.
Going undercover meant I had to play a role all the time.
Still, that movie director said I was a natural.
A natural?
I ham is more like it.
Doug always did love the limelight.
The more exposure, the more excitement,
that was his attitude.
I was-- I was the opposite.
[music playing]
[SINGING] I am the demon seed.
I'll set your senses free.
You need the demon seed.
I am the one you need.
Cry, day and night.
Keep it out of sight.
break all the rules, don't act like fools.
Beg--
All I kept thinking through the whole ordeal
was Penhall would love this.
And he would have.
Oh sure, Penhall loved to clown around.
That's why my nightmare assignment
was tailor-made for him.
Did everyone remember to look both ways?
Yes.
Get up on the corner, OK?
Come on over here.
Now, what do you do if a stranger offers you a ride?
Never take a ride from a stranger.
Very good.
How did you ever get to be Officer Milk Carton?
I've been asking myself that.
Hey.
Hey, stop that man.
Stay here.
Police, hold it.
I'm not saying Penhall wouldn't have done the same thing.
The difference is, he would have posed for photos afterwards.
Oh, yeah.
Penhall really threw himself into his work, no question
about it.
And since he also had what you'd call a extroverted personality,
a combination well, let's just say that sometimes he
got a little too gung-ho.
Hey Tom, man.
I think you're a real class act.
I mean, is this an exceptional cop, or what?
A guy who puts his own pain, his own anger in front of a case.
Juice.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
I mean, a guy who takes a bullet in his right butt cheek.
Hey Tom, man, we're going to get him.
It's that simple.
Look, a guy who shoots a cop is the lowest scum of the earth.
I want to take this guy down, captain.
And I want to take him down now.
Excuse me, Captain.
Got this from ballistics.
There was no one down at the chapel so I shot down here.
They said you need it right away.
You're going to love this, Dead Eye.
You read this, Sal?
Well, yes, I read it.
I was concerned about Hanson's health.
How are you, Hanson?
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
Look what they did to him.
Doug?
Yeah?
The bullet they dug out of Hanson came from your gun.
I've got a little present for you.
Doug, come on.
No, no, no, I wanted to.
Here, here, here.
I hope you don't have one already.
Ta-da!
It's very nice.
What is it?
It's a pillow.
Where's the rest of it?
No, it's supposed to be like that.
Is for guys who have--
What?
Hemorrhoids.
Hope I don't already have one?
Make this go away.
OK, I'll put it over here in case you change your mind.
It's right here, all right?
Great.
What?
I feel bad, you know, with this mess and all?
Just don't worry about it, OK?
Well see, you know, I--
I-- I-- feel stupid.
You-- you don't know how sorry I am.
Doug, I know you're sorry.
You know how I know?
You've apologized 430 times.
You cleaned my desk, you washed my car,
you brought a whoopie cushion.
You sharpened all my pencils.
Any of them need re-sharpening?
No. No.
Well it's just that--
you know, shooting your own partner is
just a very stupid thing to do.
You got to be a little mad at me.
Well, I'm not.
Oh, you gotta to be.
No, I don't gotta be.
You know, it's very unhealthy to keep this stuff pent up.
You should let the steam off, get it off your chest.
All right, all right.
I sharpen my own pencils, pal, understand?
No one sharpens my pencils but me, no one.
- Then you are a little mad. - Of course I'm mad.
You shot me in the ass.
Now you know why I say that as much as I love Doug Penhall,
there were times when he gave me a real pain in the ass.
[false laughter]
Hanson's been using that line for 50 years.
And Penhall still doesn't think it's funny.
I guess he feels guilty.
He shouldn't.
I had worse happen, much worse.
They don't pay me enough for this.
Yeah, pantyhose are so expensive.
All right, keep your heads down, guys.
Got someone coming up behind us.
Hanson looked good in drag.
You should have seen Ioki in the same situation.
Oh come on, you know I care about you.
I appreciate you putting me up and all that.
You sure got a funny way of showing it.
Well, I admit that I'm a little lousy in the feeling
department.
But the truth is, I don't know what I would have done if you
hadn't been there for me.
You forgive me?
Well--
Oh, come on.
Give me a little kiss, come on.
Right here.
I don't want to.
I'll still respect you.
It will make us both feel better.
How about a handshake?
OK, sure.
If you're thinking what I think you're thinking,
you're right.
I was one ugly woman.
Sure, we-- we--
we complained and moaned about that sort of stuff.
But it was all in fun.
I can remember cases that were no laughing matter.
That's my brother's seat.
I need to know if it's true that you killed someone.
Let's say it is, which is even more
reason for you not to be here.
Would you do it again?
I don't know.
I suppose if I had to.
Why, what's up?
Would you do it for money?
Diane, I don't think you want to do this.
I have $1,700 saved.
All I want to know is if you'll kill someone.
You've done it before.
Diane, what's up?
Somebody give you a hard time in study hall?
Give it a couple of days.
It'll pass.
I have $1,700 saved.
That's all I have.
I want to give it to you if you'll kill my father.
Look, I can bring the money in tomorrow.
You try to steel yourself, to think of it as just a job.
After a while, you get pretty good at it.
You OK?
What are you doing?
Well you fell asleep during the movie, Hanson,
so I put some music on.
Where's the tape?
Hanson, that tape is sick.
I can't believe you're watching a tape of your girlfriend
getting killed.
Where's the tape?
You've seen it enough, man.
Where is it?
I'm taking it back.
Where-- where did you even get that tape?
You're not even supposed to have it.
It's police evidence.
I'm a police officer.
Hanson, what else could you possibly see on this tape?
It's the same ending, I promise you.
How many times have you seen this?
122 times.
But I don't watch the whole tape.
I watch 3.3 seconds.
Come on.
Amy?
3.3 seconds slipped through my fingers.
3.3 seconds where I could have done
a thousand different things.
But I didn't move.
[gunshot]
The only things you can do in 3.3 seconds,
you can take off your shoes, pop a beer,
and shoot someone in 3.3 seconds.
Come on, Hanson.
You can hold your finger down on the remote control
and pass 17 stations in 3.3 seconds.
You can open a can of tuna fish, shuffle
and bridge a deck of cards, or twist the tops off six bottles
of ginger ale in 3.3 seconds.
Hanson, please.
You can ring a doorbell 22 times, lock and unlock
a deadbolt four times, or sing the entire alphabet
in 3.3 seconds.
Hanson, please.
Please.
I don't know about anyone else,
but no matter how good I, got there were times when
I thought my heart would break.
[chanting]
Our kids are not being subjected to the risk of a disease
that the doctors don't even know how it spreads.
We're going to stay here all day every day
until they get our message.
Hey, hey, Tom.
Right here, man.
They got enough room for us, yeah?
Right guys?
You don't mind, do you?
Come on.
You've got plenty of lunchtime left.
Where are you going?
All right, I'll catch you guys after school.
You know Laverne, you think someone in your situation
would be one to make friends instead of losing people.
You really think I'll make friends with these guys?
Their parents are the ones outside holding the signs.
God forbid I kiss one of their daughters.
Not a chance, trust me.
Yeah, you're a real tough guy, huh?
You and James Dean?
This cowboy wants to die alone.
Look, first, I don't want to die.
And second, from what I get, everyone dies alone.
There's-- there's no way to chaperone, Hanson.
Just you.
Just you and your stuff.
How about God?
yeah, well, I guess I'll have to let
you know on that one, huh?
Look, I wasn't always such a horse's ass, you know?
I hope not.
But dead men don't make friends
easily, especially with kids who think
they're never going to die.
Like you, like everybody in here but me.
I just wish they weren't so afraid to just even touch me.
Nobody touches me anymore, man--
not my dad, hardly even my mom.
That's the worst part.
Yeah, I'm going to give them a pair of rubber gloves
for their anniversary, huh?
I forgot my milk.
Here.
I don't--
I don't like chocolate.
Yeah, well, no one does.
Look, Hanson, there are three ways to get AIDS--
blood transfusion or needles.
Well I don't use needles and I've
never had a blood transfusion.
So figure it out.
[sobbing] I don't want to die, man.
I know.
But I am.
I'm sorry.
Would you do me a favor?
Sure.
Just hold me, man.
[sobbing]
You're too young to remember what AIDS was like.
Thank God they found a cure.
What did I do after Jump Street?
I know what you're getting at.
And you're right.
Jump Street was very special to me.
I had just come to this country.
So in a sense, it was the beginning of my life.
But life goes on, and so did HT Ioki.
I established a self-defense school
specializing in martial arts.
I married and buried four wives.
I was a consultant in public relations for the Immigration
and Naturalization Service.
After what I went through, we had plenty to consult about.
Want to tell us what's going on?
Merry Christmas, captain.
We have reason to believe HT Ioki is an alias.
What are you, nuts?
And that this gentleman may have
entered the country illegally and committed fraud
in applying to the department.
Whoa, wait a second.
He's not HT Ioki?
Who the hell are you?
All right, Harry.
Let's start with an easier question.
Where the hell are you from?
Vietnam.
- North or South? - South?
What region?
Saigon.
What neighborhood?
Khan Nat Street.
Over there at the embassy?
You know that's not where it is.
I meant by the Ritz.
Closer to the central market.
At the Caravelle Hotel?
Not such a good neighborhood.
We did all right.
[explosions]
Hell, Harry steal a little bit, and I don't blame him.
Yeah, today Asia owns America.
Even movies made in Hollywood are dubbed in English
from the original Japanese.
But back then it was different.
Harry came here, risked his life on a daily basis
for his country.
And all of a sudden some government stooge
tells him that it isn't his country.
I guess what Ioki did after Jump Street
was sort of similar to me.
In a sense, we were we were both trying
to get back what we'd lost.
I mean, Harry had lost loved ones and so had I.
[MUSIC PLAYING - STING - "FRAGILE"]
[SINGING] On and on the rain will
fall like tears from the star, like tears from the star.
On and on the rain will see how fragile
we are, how fragile we are, how fragile
we are, how fragile we are.
At the time it was the end of the world.
But it was also the beginning.
Suddenly I had a battle to fight,
and that had nothing to do with Jump Street,
and something to believe in again.
If someone had said Penhall would become a reverend, then
the head of the most prominent human rights organization
in the world, I would have busted him for possession.
Oh, I'd run into Reverend Penhall all the time.
And it wasn't by accident either.
He'd corner me in the court or demanding passage
of another human rights bill.
He'd reel off statistics like they were national foot--
international football leagues, of course.
I never told him so, but except for the time
that he wanted me to deport Jesse Helms,
he always had my vote.
Of all the senators, Jude was the softest touch.
See, she trusted me.
So she knew I wasn't trying to trick her.
And of course, she cared about the cause,
almost as much as I did.
Today ethics is an SAT word.
But for Doug Penhall, it was a way of life.
Ethics, schmethics.
Look at what Penhall's clean conscience got him,
a single room in a golden era rest home
and a rubber chicken tribute dinner twice a year.
I have him out to the house once in a while.
But he always gets lost in it.
By the time the butler finds him,
he's so confused he thinks we're in a hotel.
[chuckling] Granted, it's an easy mistake to make
when you're in a 72-room home.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Sal's crooker rich.
Star Maintenance, we maintain the stars.
That's his company.
I liked those guys.
They were like family to me.
Of course, now I got more family than I know what to do with.
Last time I tried to keep track of my great grandkids,
I stopped counting at around 50.
From our last reunion.
I like to think of it as a dynasty--
the Kennedys, the Rockefellers, the Corleones.
What do you think, huh?
Nice.
Sure I was happy for Sal.
He's a family man, I like that.
- Are you one too? - One what?
A family man?
I mean, you know, after Jump Street you settled down,
raised a family?
Yes, I did.
I spent 40 years on the force.
And I don't mind talking about them to a kid who
reminds me of me in those days.
But what I did off duty is my business.
My private life is private.
I didn't mean to pry, sorry.
And I didn't mean to bite your head off.
But let's just stick to the subject.
Of course, Mr. Hanson.
Tom.
"Mr."
is for men you don't know or don't like.
You know, I'm glad you did this.
I-- I haven't thought of Jump Street in years.
I'm afraid when I did, it wasn't with much fondness.
But you know, when all is said and done,
we really did have some good times together.
Oh, boy, look at all these stairs.
Going so fast.
Slow down, son.
All right.
Hey, I talked to Captain Fuller--
my Captain Fuller.
And I told him about talking to you guys.
He said a program just like Jump Street wouldn't be a bad idea.
Well, it would make his granddad proud.
That's what I told him.
You know, this time I think he was really listening--
Right here.
Right here?
Here.
What's with the act?
Well, it's just that I don't think
that this is where it was.
Well this is 21 Jump Street, isn't it?
Well, who can tell?
I mean, does anybody see an address?
What am I, Bell Telephone?
I came here every day of my life for years.
You think I don't know where it is?
At least I don't get lost going to a shuffleboard game.
Well now, who told you that?
Myrtle Goldblatt said she'd--
Myrtle Goldblatt is on too much medication.
Do you think that I don't know my own way
around my senior citizen center?
TOM HANSON: Well, I didn't say that.
DOUG PENHALL: Well, what did you say then?
TOM HANSON: Since when are you so sensitive?
DOUG PENHALL: Sensitive?
Who's calling you an old snook who can't find his way around?
TOM HANSON: I have not called you an old snook yet.
I may call you an old codger.
DOUG PENHALL: You get on my nerves.
TOM HANSON: Codger.
DOUG PENHALL: Always have gotten on my nerves.
TOM HANSON: Codger.
DOUG PENHALL: I'll race you to that pole, you old kook.
TOM HANSON: I am unfortunately under repair
in the knee section.
I've got to-- you're racing already.
You didn't say go.
Wait.
[MUSIC PLAYING - HOLLY ROBINSON, "21 JUMP STREET"]
[SINGING] We never thought we'd find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone.
We'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.
I said jump, down on Jump Street.
Jump.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You're gonna need us because there's no one else to call.
When it was hopeless, a decision's what you need.
You better be ready to-- be ready to jump.
21 Jump Street.