[music playing]
WOMAN [SINGING]: No matter how you try to please me,
something's wrong.
It's not lasting long.
No matter how you say you need me,
it's just a line I'm dangling on.
I look out my window to the street below.
Love is what, that's all I see.
I don't wanna dress up and fix my face.
There's nowhere to go.
Just look at this place.
Life is really blessed.
It's all right.
Life is really blessed.
It's all right.
Call me an outcast.
That's all right.
I'm looking forward to a tiny plastic knife.
I'm looking forward to a tiny plastic knife,
a tiny plastic knife.
No matter how I try to hold you, nothing's there.
It's like holding air.
No matter how many times I told you, who's listening?
Who really cares?
I look in your window and watch you undress.
Lovers' talk, that's all I heed.
I don't wanna call you and waste my time.
I've got things to do here in my mind.
Life is really blessed.
It's all right.
Life is really blessed.
It's all right.
Call me an outcast.
That's all right.
I'm looking forward to a tiny plastic knife.
I'm looking forward to a tiny plastic knife,
a tiny plastic knife.
No matter how I try to hold you, nothing's there.
It's like holding air.
No matter how many times I told you, who's listening?
Who really cares?
I look in your window and watch you undress.
Lovers' talk, That's all I heed.
I don't wanna call you and waste my time.
I've got things to do here--
Call an ambulance.
Get the police.
No!
No, don't.
I'm OK.
I'm fine.
Just leave me alone.
Look.
I really think you should--
Look.
I said that I'm OK.
Please?
WOMAN [SINGING]: I'm looking forward
to a tiny plastic knife.
I'm looking forward to a tiny plastic knife,
a tiny plastic knife.
Don't send me chocolate.
[THEME - HOLLY ROBINSON, "21 JUMP STREET THEME"]
THEME SONG: We never thought we'd
find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone.
We'll never let you fall.
You don't need permission to decide what you believe.
Woo.
I said jump down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us because there's no one else to call.
When it looks hopeless, a decision's what you need.
You better be ready to-- be ready to jump.
21 Jump Street.
Might as well pay me now, Sal.
This one is the winner.
Hope you're right, buddy.
Who do you like--
New England or Miami?
Nobody deserves to win that game.
Miami.
Uh, Judy?
Fill me in, Sal.
1032-- no, no, no.
Larceny in progress.
1031, robbery in progress.
I thought a 1032 was a pedestrian
struck in a crosswalk.
1053, and you don't have to be in a crosswalk.
[SIGHING] I'm never gonna get my gold shield.
That's because you're cramming, man.
You'll turn your brain to guacamole.
You gotta learn the material, let it seep in.
Seep?
Seep.
Well, what are you gonna do, Doug?
Sleep with the books under your pillow?
I'm gonna wing it.
Let the chips fall where they may.
Yeah.
Well, not everybody has a capacity for useless codes
and numbers like you, Doug.
I've always considered it a gift.
Are you gonna take the detective's exam?
Oh, yeah.
I got a letter of recommendation from my cellblock captain.
Sal, I don't even know why I enter this thing.
I haven't won yet.
- Hey, you're due, buddy. - Yeah.
Well.
Hey, how are you guys doing at Rosalita's?
Ah, we're doing real good.
I got hired yesterday.
Hanson got in tight with the last kid
who just got knocked around.
Hey, that's good.
Excuse me, captain.
You got two sets of picks here.
Yeah.
Well, what's the story?
Well, see, Sal, this first one is based on logic,
you know, handicapping, everything I
know about the teams involved.
What's the other one about?
Oh, I just went the opposite direction with every game.
H.T. Ioki reporting for duty, sir.
Hey.
Harry.
Does this guy know how to make an entrance or what?
Nice walking stick.
Hey, hey, my turn, my turn.
How you doing?
You're looking great, Doug.
Harry, you're looking good yourself.
How you feeling?
Not bad.
It still hurts a little bit when I breathe deep.
Yeah.
Well, it's good to have you back here.
Yeah.
Nice to be back.
Um, I'm really looking forward to getting
back out there again.
You look great.
[music playing]
Have a good time.
Go on.
Is this a real ID?
Yes, it's a real ID.
When's your birthdate?
April 4--
Don't think about it.
April 4, 1968.
What's your sign?
Why?
Do you wanna buy me a drink?
Keep the line moving, huh?
Have a nice time, cutie. You're like 30.
Get in there.
[music playing]
THE B-52S [SINGING]: Love getaway.
Headed for the love getaway.
Hey.
Hey, neighbor.
What's up?
Lori Sigmund, this is Tom-- somebody or other.
He's on the third floor of the hall.
Lori runs this place.
Assistant manager.
Welcome to Rosalita's.
Well, thank you.
Could I buy you guys a beer?
Yeah, anytime.
Hey, Larry.
Three drafts over here, please? - You got it.
Thanks.
They're Army issue.
They got steel soles.
They run about $50 bucks.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
You should get a pair.
You gotta do heavy stomping, them sneakers
ain't gonna do you much good.
I see what you mean.
But if you are gonna do heavy stomping,
shouldn't you have heavy artillery?
Forget it, man.
You get into too much trouble.
You don't wanna be carrying a knife, or anything like that.
I recommend a Mr. DuraReady.
All 12 inches.
Thing carries four size D alkaline batteries.
You swing on somebody with this, he ain't getting up.
And perfectly legal, too.
Best of all, people don't even notice you got it.
Mr. DuraReady?
Cover the door for a sec.
I wanna see who won the game.
[chatter]
THE B-52S [SINGING]: The love shack is a little old place--
It was in the bag.
Can you believe the way they fell apart?
You like these guys?
Oh, they're OK.
They just never close at the end.
They don't have that killer instinct.
[CHUCKLING] Is she great or what?
You got a minute?
I'm entertaining friends.
I got a present for you.
Oh.
In that case.
So what's your major?
Huh?
Oh.
Uh, I'm undeclared.
You?
Grad school, business.
Hey.
Could you excuse me for a second?
My kidneys are gonna explode.
Down the stairs and to the right.
THE B-52S [SINGING]: Everybody's moving around and around
and around and around.
Everybody's moving.
Everybody's grooving, baby.
Folks lining up outside just to get down.
Everybody's moving.
Everybody's grooving, baby.
Funky little shack, funky little shack.
Hop in my Chrysler.
It's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail.
Woo.
I got me a car.
It seats about 20.
So come on and bring your jukebox money.
The love shack is a little--
Let me get this straight.
They were friendly with each other?
Bosom buddies.
Maybe Darryl's the wrong guy.
Maybe he's a dealer.
You know, I heard Lenny tell him to meet him at the dorm
at, like, 1:00 in the morning.
That's kind of weird.
Maybe it is drugs.
Well then, why would he be beating him up?
Maybe he owes him money.
Maybe it's about a girl.
I don't know.
What's up with the door?
Not too much.
You know, we just check IDs, take
a guy's keys away, bounce a couple
dudes-- nothing too rough.
You know, Doug--
Hm?
I'm thinking about quitting.
Quitting what?
Oh, you mean like turning in your badge?
Oh, come on, man, you just got it back.
[SIGHING] What are you talking about?
You can't quit being a cop.
It's in your blood, man.
Your father was a cop.
Are you my biographer?
No.
I'm just saying, I mean, it's the natural thing for you
to do.
I mean, what the hell are you gonna do anyway?
Well, I'm gonna check my options.
Oh, like there's a really long list, is there?
I'm sorry I said that.
Will you just-- will you just not
do anything crazy without checking with me first?
OK?
Say OK.
OK.
[sigh]
I'm a little hungry.
Can I eat?
That'll be $16.50.
- I got it. - No, no.
I got it. - I-- I'm buying.
Look.
Compliments of Bernie Kosar and the Cleveland Browns.
You bet the game?
Yeah.
I got 50 bucks off of Lenny.
The bouncer?
We prefer door security.
Keep it, babe.
[music playing]
[crickets]
[sighing]
[car rumbling]
[door closing]
Hey.
Hey, Lori. How you doing?
- Good. - I'll be down in a minute.
OK, we'll see you in there.
[knocking]
That is beautiful, man.
Let's do it.
These are great.
Your initials on them, and everything.
Nothing but the best.
Hey, Tommy, man, come on in.
You play poker?
Yeah, sure.
All right, gang.
We got a seventh.
Oh, it's 200 bucks to get in.
How can you pass this thing up, Harry?
It means a pay increase, a change
in rank, more responsibility.
Look.
I just don't feel up to it, OK?
But the detective's exam only comes up once every two years.
I know the schedule.
So you're just gonna wait two more years just
because you don't feel like you can
let yourself get psyched up?
Hey.
I mean, what is it with this exam and you, huh?
I mean, why is it so important that I take it?
Sorry.
What's that?
You're starting to give me a pain.
Look, Harry, it's just that I don't wanna see you let
an opportunity like this go by.
That's all.
I appreciate that.
Then you'll take the test?
No.
You took the damn thing two years ago.
Things were different.
I think we're on a gambling case.
Tell me about it.
Lenny and Darryl were in a high stakes poker
game at the dorm last night.
That's what the meeting was about.
Did you stay and play?
Couldn't afford the buy-in.
All right.
I'll get you some money.
Hey.
You think those kids getting beat up
had something to do with gambling debts?
Could be. Look.
See if you can find out who's behind Lenny.
I doubt a bouncer's in charge of this thing.
[sighing]
Douglas-- can I get you anything?
A cold soda would be nice.
[chatter]
OK, come on.
I got you.
Two?
Or four?
[chatter]
One minute.
One minute to post.
Three? You got it.
10?
[bugling]
10 on them, 10 on blue, got you.
OK.
Give me 10 bucks on the favorite.
- 10 on Echo Poise. - Echo Poise?
Why not?
He tested positive for steroids two weeks ago.
And he's just coming off suspension.
I like the name.
OK, got you. Hold on.
Calm down.
We'll get you all.
ANNOUNCER: Please close all wagering for the next race.
Look.
Bet the favorites.
You'll get a good price.
[cheering]
ANNOUNCER: They're in the gate.
Just go with me on this. Bet 50.
50 on the favorite.
Gimme 20 on the favorite.
[bell ringing]
ANNOUNCER: And they're off!
[cheering]
ANNOUNCER: There goes Perry, off to the half,
followed by Kettle Mill.
Echo Poise is on the outside, followed by Lucky Lady.
[cheering]
ANNOUNCER: Again, it's Charlie Hustle.
Charlie Hustle charges toward the finish line,
with Pinocchio and Echo Poise losing ground.
And at the wire, it's Charlie Hustle
by four lengths, followed by Pinocchio by a nose.
[crowd booing]
Thanks, man.
Woo.
Nice roll.
Oh, this?
Oh, well, hey, do you know where I can get some real action?
You bet football?
You know where I can get a bet?
How much you wanna bet?
Oh, you know, $300 or $400.
I can take care of that. Who do you like?
UCLA.
Forget UCLA.
Take Arizona State.
Are you betting Arizona State?
Actually, I'm a little tapped out right now.
Look. I'll tell you what.
Why don't you bet 300 bucks on Arizona State?
If you win, cut me in for a small taste.
How much of it?
Oh, whatever you think's fair.
And what if I lose?
Hey, you were gonna lose on UCLA.
Look.
Just go with me on this.
I know what I'm doing.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: It was Notre Dame 42, Purdue 14.
Nebraska defeated UCLA, 35-21.
And in a game just completed, Arizona State
37, University of Houston 10.
We'll be back with more scores and highlights after this.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Arm on the outside.
Sir looking strong if he can get through.
They come for home.
Sulich on the outside, Mr. Happy at the rail.
Here comes Val Dancer, now flying on the outside.
20%?
Whatever you think's fair.
Thanks.
Hey.
Do you book through Lenny?
Yeah.
Look, um, what are you doing for the rest of the afternoon?
[bells ringing]
[rumbling]
[cheering]
[music playing]
I know how we can double this.
- The next race. - No, no.
Forget the races.
Horses are for suckers.
It's 50 for the last, right?
Right.
Because if we let this, plus the money
from this afternoon's game, ride,
then we're playing with their money now.
Now, there's an 8 o'clock game tonight on TBS--
LSU versus Mississippi State at home.
Yes, that's a lot of points to lay.
But I'm certain they'll roll over these guys.
Just go with me on this.
Look, you won't regret it.
I'm talking a deadbolt lock here.
It's really kind of amazing.
The kid took my 300 bucks and turned it into two grand.
I know.
I bet LSU, too.
I'm up 600.
- You bet LSU? - Yeah, sure.
I figure, what the hell?
Why not?
Well, for one thing, you don't know anything about LSU.
Sure I do.
Yeah?
Tell me one thing about LSU.
It's in Louisiana.
Where in Louisiana?
Who's their quarterback?
What kind of offense do they run?
I don't know. Who cares?
That's not the point. There's action.
I'm hot.
You're not hot.
You only bet LSU because you saw Darryl do it.
Listen.
I'm telling you you're wrong about this.
Yes, I was there when he made the bet.
But I knew he was right.
And I knew LSU was gonna win.
I had this feeling.
I'm on a streak.
I've been right about everything so far.
I'll tell you something else.
I am gonna drill that detective's exam tomorrow.
I know that, too.
Besides, this was a pretty good way
to find out who the bookie is.
Did you drill it?
Nothing but net, man.
Who won the Jets game?
- Jets lost. - By how many?
10 points.
Yeah.
I can't believe they have these things on Sunday.
I gotta make a call before my interview.
I'll see you at Rosalita's, OK? - Wait--
If you were to make detective, do you wanna remain
in the Jump Street program?
Well, I realize that with a promotion comes the possibility
of reassignment.
And I would be proud to serve the department
wherever I'm needed.
I see you received the Medal of Valor
for conspicuous bravery.
It sort of came with the bullet.
How long have you been back on duty?
Just a few days, sir.
What does making detective mean to you, officer?
Pay increase, change in rank, more responsibility.
Are we almost done?
You spent some time with the public relations department.
Oh, yes, sir.
I was Officer Milk Carton in the school safety program.
And you're a college graduate?
Oh, you have to be to be Officer Milk Carton.
[laughter]
[knocking]
Ah. Good.
You're here.
Got my money?
Um, I got a little bit of bad news.
What? We won.
LSU won, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was a lock, just like I said.
We blew them out of the stadium.
And you had trouble collecting?
No.
No, not at all.
See, the trouble was with the Giants.
- The Giants? - Yeah.
Well, see, I had this really good line on the Giants
this morning.
And you weren't around.
And I had this really good feeling.
And I knew you'd want to go along with me on the play.
And?
And it was a fluke, man.
I mean, Sims gets sacked, coughs the thing up with two minutes
to go, so Phoenix scores a meaningless touchdown.
What are you trying to tell me, Darryl?
We lost.
We lost?
Yeah.
Well, we're partners.
I-- I let it all ride on the Giants.
How much?
A lot.
How much?
Four grand.
You bet $2,000 of my money without telling me?
Yeah.
Well, we're partners.
Look, I lost $2,000.
We gotta talk, partner.
[chatter]
[SIGHING] You know, I don't know what you're getting
so bent out of shape for.
It's just making a few extra bucks on a football game.
It's not legal.
It's legal to bet in Las Vegas.
It's legal to go to the track and bet the horses.
The state runs a lottery.
That's different, because the money then goes to education.
The money?
The money is a tax on the poor.
It's a numbers racket.
The odds of winning are, like, worse than getting
hit by a bolt of lightning.
In Oregon-- in Oregon, they have a lottery based on the NFL.
What about that?
Well, then you're rooting for the spread.
You're not even interested in the teams.
So is everybody else, man.
Wake up.
Football's the most popular game in the country.
Why?
Because they play only once a week, and you can bet on it.
If it wasn't for the point spread,
it wouldn't be half as popular.
The point spread keeps the teams even.
It keeps the betters interested.
It keeps them from switching the channels.
Because nobody knows who's going to win till the last second.
But you think you do.
I happen to be very hot.
I have a feel for how the teams are playing
right now, especially the pros.
Well, what about you?
You're playing Sal's parlot cards.
For a dollar.
A dollar, $5 bucks, $50 bucks, what's the difference?
The difference is that Sal's not gonna
break my kneecaps if I lose.
I got it.
I got it, Harry.
I got it.
All right.
Way to go.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Aren't you gonna open yours?
No.
I-- I already know what it says.
Oh, come on, Harry.
Open it up.
Hey.
Congratulations.
Oh, thanks.
I didn't make it.
Hey, me either.
What'd you get on the written?
Oh, I, uh--
I did pretty well.
I got an 810.
810, and that's really high.
Go ahead.
This is better.
You're gonna like this one. You're gonna like this one.
It better be better.
So anyway, this guy loses $5,000 bucks on basketball.
Yeah.
Then summer comes along, he loses $10,000 on baseball.
Now comes football season.
He drops 15 grand.
So he goes to his bookie and he says,
you know, this is terrible.
I lost $30,000 this year.
So the bookie says, why don't you try hockey?
And the guy says, what are you, nuts?
What do I know about hockey?
That's a good one.
I gotta remember that.
What's the matter?
You seem down.
[SIGHING] I failed a test that I should've nailed.
I used to fail them all the time.
You ought to get a tutor.
A tutor wouldn't have helped me with this one.
Hey, this'll cheer you up.
I'm gonna kick some ass tonight.
Oh, yeah?
On who?
Some puke that owes money.
Owes money to who?
All you need to know is we get 20% of what we collect.
Well, it's just, you know, I like
to know who I'm working for before I
do something like that. - What are you?
A cop or something?
Yeah.
I work undercover.
By day I like to fail tests, and at night
I check IDs at a beer joint. - Forget it.
I'll do it myself.
No, no. I'm here.
OK. Who's the puke?
Wait.
Don't hit me. - You got the money?
No. No.
But I will.
I swear.
Just give me a couple hours.
40, 60, 80, 200.
Wait. That's it?
Look.
That's only $200.
This card, it's got a $1,000 line of credit.
Yes, but the cash advance limit is 200.
So anyway, I'm a little strapped for cash.
And this would really help me out.
All right, so let me get this straight.
I give you 20 bucks.
And you're gonna give me $25 worth of gas?
- On my credit card. - Sure.
Why not? - Great, great.
Keep pumping, man.
Keep pumping.
Jackpot!
1,200 for the semester?
Mm-hm.
I thought we were getting an increase?
Grad students only.
My student loan check hasn't come through yet.
There seems to be a problem with the paperwork.
My parents are out of town.
I know my tuition is due.
I can give you an extension for a week.
But if the money isn't here by next Friday at 3:00,
your registration will be pulled.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Are you kidding?
You cashed out your tuition check?
Yeah. Look.
There's almost $2,000 here.
I thought we owed more.
We do.
We're still almost 1,000 short, with the vig and all.
It's so much.
Hey.
It's only money.
It's your tuition, man.
I think of it as borrowing for a week.
All right.
Maybe we can make a partial payment.
I'll go talk to him.
No, no.
I don't think we should pay him back at all.
What are you, crazy?
You want to get your head beat in again?
Look, I think we should take the four grand
and bet it on Monday night's game.
See, that way, we get even.
I get my tuition money, you get your two grand.
What do you think?
That's $4,000.
Yeah.
Isn't that great?
We'd be betting $4,000.
You lose, this guy's really gonna hurt you.
Hey, man.
You gotta be on the edge.
That's the rush.
Don't you get it?
I think you have a problem.
Yeah.
I need two grand by next week.
No, no.
I mean with the gambling.
Oh, right.
Here it comes.
I'm a compulsive gambler.
I can't help myself. - Well--
I'm in college. What am I gonna lose?
My house? My car?
My wife? - Look.
I'm on my own.
I'm putting myself through school.
I don't have a problem.
See, man, I pulled this off today.
And I can double this money tonight
because I know who's gonna win.
Darryl, do you realize you don't do anything but gamble?
OK. I ski.
I play tennis.
I collect rare stamps.
Can I make my bet now?
I think you're out of your mind.
You cash in your tuition money, and you want to let it
ride on Monday Night Football?
Hey, Lenny.
I was just coming to see you.
- You got the money? - Uh, yeah.
Yeah, listen.
Actually, we want to bet it.
Hey.
Who's talking to you?
You want to bet four grand?
Yes.
We have 2,000 we can show you, but we want to bet
it along with another 2,000.
All right.
Who do you like?
We wanna bet with the book.
All bets go through me.
All right.
But just be sure to tell your boss that you
passed on booking a $4,000 bet.
What do you think?
You know, I'm kind of new at this, but four grand?
That's a lot of money.
I think that he would, uh, want to take that bet.
Especially with a couple of losers like these two.
Darryl, for the 10th time, I'm making this bet.
You just stay out.
Well, I don't know.
I know.
OK. Good.
Maybe-- maybe it'll change our luck.
Why don't you just go back to the dorm and wait for me?
Don't forget.
Don't lay more than 2 and 1/2 points.
I got it, man.
Cincinnati minus 2 and 1/2.
OK.
Come on.
This is a lock.
It's a lock.
OK?
I understand you want to make a large bet
on Monday Night Football.
So what is it you find so unusual?
That she's a woman, or that Darryl didn't
know who he was betting with?
Both.
Oh, there are a lot of women gamblers, Hanson.
What makes you think she's a gambler?
They're all gamblers.
It's just that the smarter ones become the books.
You know, chances are she bets a lot of what she collects.
How come you know so much about this stuff?
Oh, I've made a few bets in my day.
You know, I know this guy who waits until the last minute
every Monday night.
And then he bets on the team that lines up
on the left-hand side of his screen for kickoff.
How'd you do?
Won 75% of the games last year.
- That's some system. - Yeah?
Well, there are no systems, Tom.
You play long enough, you're gonna lose.
The odds are always in favor of the house.
Not last night.
Bengals, huh?
What do you want me to do?
Well, bookmaking's a minor offense.
She'll get a small fine, if that.
In order to get an assault charge,
you're gonna have to lose.
Big.
[chatter]
OK.
See you later.
Excuse me, detective.
Why don't you just say it, Doug?
Say what?
You think I made detective because I'm a woman.
A black woman. - Double minority.
Oh, that's just perfect.
What else could it possibly be?
I have a college education.
Well, that's just great.
I have twice as many busts as you.
So while you're in college, I'm on the street.
Well, at least college taught me you gotta put in the work.
I got 810 on the written.
Maybe it was the interview.
I nailed the interview.
I had those guys eating out of my hand.
What are you complaining about?
You didn't even study.
I didn't have to.
I knew the codes backwards and forwards.
So you winged it?
I winged it.
[SIGHING] You're so arrogant.
You're so proud of it.
What are you trying to say?
That you did better on the written?
What did you get?
I got a 950.
950?
950.
You didn't make detective, and it
was your own fault. Not my fault,
and not the department's fault.
[music playing]
Ah, back for more?
I want you to cut Darryl off.
Is that what Darryl wants?
- He needs help. - No kidding.
He came in here today and made a bet on the Dodgers.
He's betting on baseball.
And you took it? - Yeah.
It's what I do.
I'm a bookmaker, not a guidance counselor.
Well, I thought you were his friend?
Hey, look, no one forces Darryl to bet.
No one puts a gun to his head and says, pick a team.
Why do you do this?
Let's just say I'm working my way through school.
Hey, I saw a demand, and I filled it.
If they don't bet with me, they'll bet with someone else.
They're losers.
They wanna lose.
Yeah, you oughta know.
Look, you wanna make a bet, Dr. Freud?
Yes, I wanna make a bet.
2,000 on Tampa Bay.
[CHUCKLING] Tampa Bay.
I rest my case.
Do we have a bet?
Now you tell me who has the problem.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably Thanksgiving. Sure.
Yeah, that'd be great.
How's Pop?
[LAUGHING] Really?
That's great.
Diane?
Good.
Listen, Mom-- I was wondering if you
could send me some more money?
Yeah, I know.
No, see, I had to use that for schoolbooks.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm taking a lot of classes this semester.
You know, the usual.
Yeah, English and some history, sociology, journalism.
Yeah.
Right, I'm taking that journalism
class we talked about.
Yeah, maybe I'll be a reporter.
Yeah, sports reporter.
Listen, Mom.
About the money--
I'd say about $5,000.
Well, I thought maybe you could cash
in some of those savings bonds.
Yeah, I know.
No, Mom, please calm down.
No.
No, I'm not in any trouble.
Yeah.
I know Dad works hard.
But you remember you always said you were
saving those bonds for college?
Well, you know, here I am in college.
Would you just think about it, OK?
No.
Mom, please, don't-- don't say no.
Mom, please don't--
Mom?
[door creaking]
What's going on, Tommy?
The Dodgers lost.
I know.
That was the tuition money.
Yeah.
What's he doing here?
[laughter] Um-- what, am I gonna get arrested?
I think you have a problem.
Maybe we should talk, partner.
[music playing]
WOMAN [SINGING]: Because some people always get around.
OK.
So what Einstein was trying to say
is that there's no preferred reference frames.
In other words, if I was standing
on top of a train that was moving
the speed of light, and I--
Excuse me.
Could I have a word with him, please?
I believe you owe me some money?
I believe I've decided not to pay.
What, are you out of your mind?
Listen, man, gambling's illegal.
Call a cop.
Oh, yeah.
Excuse us.
Coming through.
What are you gonna do?
Beat the money out of me with a flashlight?
Mr. DuraReady.
You're the big man with the big bets.
Why don't you just pay off?
Well, if you think I'm gonna give two grand to some chick,
you're out of your mind.
He ain't got no fear of women.
Who does?
Why don't you get Lori out here to kick my ass?
Because I do it for her.
Sound good to you?
Sounds good to me.
You're under arrest.
Don't even think about it, Lenny, because I have a gun.
You believe this crap?
Actually, I do.
Because, well, I'm a cop, too.
You got a gun?
No.
[grunting]
You weren't even gonna help me!
You were doing fine.
Come on!
[grunting]
[panting]
I knew I should've bet more.
Cuffs?
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Well, you rest.
I'll get it.
Thanks.
[chatter]
[clearing throat]
You're under arrest.
For what?
- Assault. - That's it?
Is that all we got?
No, we got more.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we got conspiracy, conspiracy
to commit bookmaking.
We got bookmaking.
What else?
Extortion.
Personal favorite, extortion.
And robbery?
Robbery.
That it?
That's it.
[SIGHING] You guys are wasting your time.
You think I'm all alone in this?
What are you trying to tell us?
Let's just say there's people behind me,
and people behind them.
And if you went up high enough, you might
be surprised who's up there.
Why don't you give us some names?
We'll jot them down.
You guys are amazing.
Look, there'll be somebody here tomorrow
picking up where I left off.
And you wanna know why?
No.
People love to bet.
You're starting to sound like him.
Cuffs?
Yes, and a gag.
You like doing this?
Let's just say I'm working my way through school.
Shall we?
[cheering]
Here you go, buddy.
Football pool, week four.
You're not gonna play?
Why aren't you gonna play?
What are you, nuts?
What do I know about hockey?
Hock-- oh.
Good night, Sal.
Hey.
You got a minute?
Sure.
- I wanted to apologize. - That's OK, Doug.
It's not OK.
[SIGHING] I acted like a real--
I acted bad.
You know, I-- I shouldn't have been assuming.
Well, you were frustrated.
I mean, I can understand that.
Nah.
It's more than that.
I was so sure--
so sure that there was no way I was gonna lose.
Not studying for that test, it was something
I shouldn't have gambled on.
Well, at least you understand.
Hey.
I'm starting to.
Well, good night, Doug.
Good night, detective.
[music playing]