[upbeat music]
♪ Walk on over and show me how you feel
♪ I said walk on over and show me how you feel
♪ 'Cause baby I gotta know your love for me
♪ Come on over and shake it, shake it
♪ Come on over and shake it next to me
♪ You know you steal my heart whenever you walkin' by
♪ I said you steal my heart
♪ Whenever you walkin' by
♪ Now baby, I'm in love and you know I wouldn't lie
- I'm telling you,
Chuck says he's found a flaw in the Fibonacci Sequence
and that if we link up, we can disprove it.
- He started on that when he was trying
to disprove the golden ratio.
It can't be done.
1.6 is the magic number and that's all there is to it.
- Yeah, but if we could just--
- I have been looking for you guys everywhere.
- I gotta go.
- Me too.
- Wait!
♪ Shake it, shake it
♪ Come on over and shake it next to me
♪ Oh, yeah
Hi.
I'm new in this school, and I'm really good at math,
and I thought I could join your computer club.
- We're full up.
- Chuck, every one of your calculations comes back to 1.6.
You're on drugs if you think
you're gonna destroy the Fibonacci Sequence.
- Hey guys!
You know, I'm really good at trig,
and I have a Macintosh 2 with extended memory,
so why don't you guys let me hang out with you?
- That's why.
- What are you guys doing hanging around with this pimple?
- Nothing.
Nothing Billy.
- Do you know why you are such a pimple?
Because you don't get enough milk.
♪ Come on over and shake it next to me
♪ Oh yeah
[calm music]
♪ We never thought about the place where we belong
♪ Don't have to stand alone
♪ Never let you fall
♪ Don't need permission to decide what you believe
♪ I say jump, down on Jump Street
♪ Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall
♪ You'll find you need us 'cause there's no one else to call
♪ And if it's hopeless, a decision's what you need
♪ You better be ready to, be ready to jump
♪ 21 Jump Street
[light upbeat music]
[background chatter]
- Whoa, and peach cobbler?
Yeah, well, I'll definitely be there, yeah, around 8:00.
All right.
Penhall, where have you been?
Harry said you didn't come home last night,
and you didn't report to work this morning.
- Cut school.
- You cut school?
This is not eighth grade Penhall,
what do you mean you cut school?
- Okay, give it to me Captain, lay it on real thick.
- You wanna talk about this?
- You know them kids I've been trying to get in tight with?
The ones that break into the school computer
and change all the grades?
- Yep, I remember the case, Penhall.
- There is this bully, and he is picking on me.
- Bully?
- Yeah, and I'm stuck in this Clark Kent cover
and I can't do nothing about it.
When he bullies me real bad,
other kids won't have nothing to do with me,
and I just wanna waste this guy.
- You can't waste him Penhall, he's a kid.
- He's a large bully.
That's a different species.
- I don't believe I'm hearing this.
I mean, I've sent a lot of cops on some strange assignments,
but nobody's ever come crying to me
that he's being picked on by a bully.
- This guy, he's just like a kid
who use to pick on me in school.
Didn't you have anybody in your school
used to make your life a living hell?
- Yeah.
- Doesn't it still make you so crazy
you could rip his lungs out through his nose?
- No.
- No?
Come on, Captain.
- You may not realize this, Penhall,
but I wasn't always a sharp dresser.
I mean, I was 13 years old, you know,
and I use to walk to school every day
along the Vision Street.
Anyway, the bane of my existence
called himself the leader of the pack,
and he had two goals in life:
sing doo wop on American Bandstand,
and make my life miserable.
♪ Skip the crazy beat.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check it out, check it out.
[group laughs]
- Man, where'd you get those threads.
- Leave me alone, Leon.
I don't wanna be late for school.
- Hey, if I left the house like that,
I wouldn't even show up at school.
[group laughs]
You wear white socks, with brown shoes,
and brown pants, man.
Don't you feel degraded?
Tell you what we gonna do for you, Q.
We gonna teach you how to dress cool.
First thing, you gotta lose the white socks.
- Man, it's 20 degrees out here.
- Hey, it ain't easy being cool.
We're giving you a choice.
You can lose the socks, or lose the pants and shoes.
- [Captain] Frozen ankles, courtesy of Leon Lawrence Fuller.
- [Penhall] Fuller.
Fuller?
- [Captain] Yeah, he was my cousin.
- [Penhall] You were bullied by your cousin?
- Now that's better man.
- No offense, Captain, but that's nothing
compared to what I had to go through.
- Oh no, no, no, wait, wait.
It gets better.
See, if I didn't go under the L-tracks
and cut across Vision Street,
I had to go 20 minutes out of the way.
So as I said, this was the only way to school.
- Hey, Q.
- What you want, Leon?
- Come here for a minute.
Okay.
Here's your choice.
You can go over to Murray's
and steal yourself some new threads,
or you can sing all three of the Shirelles.
- No problem.
- Nude.
- Nude?
- [Group] Nude!
- Okay, Q.
You get yourself some khaki chinos
with the buckle in the back,
some all-star high tops, an alligator belt,
and a couple of shark skin suits.
- Oh, yeah, and some ties.
- Yeah, yeah, and some ties.
Look, no paisley.
You'll be looking razor sharp, Q.
- Wait a minute.
Now, how am I gonna get all that?
- It's simple.
You take it into the changing room
and put them under your clothes.
You got it?
- I really don't think this is a good idea.
- Hey, who asked your opinion?
Anybody ask his opinion. - Didn't ask my opinion, man.
- Not mine. - No, no, no.
- I don't think so.
Go.
[suspenseful music]
- [Captain] Anyway, I didn't think I looked too conspicuous.
Besides, if I could just make it to the front door,
I was home free.
- [Penhall] You were a shoplifter, Captain?
- [Captain] It was either that,
or I'd be singing the Shirelles
wearing nothing but my song book.
- [Policeman] Hold it, son.
- [Captain] Oh, I was busted, man.
He had me dead bang.
- Take your clothes off.
- So that's what made you become a cop?
- Nope, that's what made me a sharp dresser.
[laughter]
- Unh! Still got it.
- Russell D. Pasquale.
Russell D. Pasquale, that was my bully in high school.
This guy made my life miserable.
Towered over me, he was really tall.
- How'd you get rid of the guy?
- It wasn't easy.
Russell was the kind of guy that never
had to lift a finger to intimidate you.
I had a pretty good operation going.
One stop shopping kind of thing.
Liquor, concert tickets, sporting events.
- Yo, Sal, give me 10 bucks on the raiders.
- You gotta lay six points.
- Six points?
It's only five in the paper.
- Go bet with the paper.
- Okay, okay, six points.
- [Captain] You a bookie?
- [Sal] I preferred sports investment counselor.
[bell ringing]
[jazz music]
Anyway, things were perfect until
Russell D. Pasquale came into my life.
- [Captain] Russell Deepa Squall?
- [Sal] No, Russel D. Pasquale.
He used a middle initial.
He wasn't very bright.
He was the only guy in high school
that was too old to be drafted.
I think Russell used to get left back on purpose
so he could hang out with his girlfriend, Sheila,
another brain trust.
She thought he was the greatest guy in the world,
and he would do just about anything for her.
- Hey, give me $25 on the Monday night game.
- I just closed up, pal.
All right, 25 bucks.
- What, you got a problem with that?
- No, I can handle it.
You forgot to fill in the team.
- Yeah, you fill it in, after the game.
- Oh, Russell, that's such a great idea.
- He pulled this a couple of times,
and then he decided to get clever.
- You know, I think I'm going to start
betting some college games.
I want you to give me $20 on Atlantic City College.
- There is no Atlantic City College.
- Oh, no?
Well, I say there is.
- Who are they playing?
- Bayonne.
- How will I know the score?
- I'll let you know.
- [Sal] This went on for weeks.
Needless to say, the mythical Atlantic City College
went on to an unbelievable winning streak,
dismantling a string of nonexistent Division 3 teams.
I was going broke, guys,
and there was nothing I could do about it.
- So, this Atlantic City College,
they're really good at football, huh?
- Yeah, I think they may go undefeated this season.
In fact, I'm sure of it.
- Yeah, Russell's so smart.
- Honest.
- You know he'd do anything for me.
- That I can believe.
- Well, you know, I'm thinking maybe
I should go to this Atlantic City College.
Don't tell Russell, but I'm going to graduate this year.
- I think that would be the perfect place for you to go.
- Really?
Is it nice?
- Oh, very nice.
I understand they even hold classes on the boardwalk.
- Wow, thanks!
- [Captain] It sounds like you were the victim
of an illegal shakedown of an illegal operation.
- That's exactly what it was.
Finally, I realized there was only one way
to handle this situation.
Uncle Tony.
Uncle Tony was a very important man.
He ran a pizza parlor.
He wanted to know what was so important
that we had to meet in the alley.
I told him about my little operation,
and about Russell D. Pasquale.
Now, came the hard part.
See, I knew Uncle Tony was connected.
I asked him if he'd have Russell D. Pasquale bumped off.
Needless to say, the idea didn't go over too well.
Uncle Tony explained to me that they weren't
in the business of knocking off 10th graders.
He told me I had to learn how to handle my own problems,
and that I shouldn't come to a relative
with a violent solution.
So I started to leave, and he stopped me.
I don't know, I guess he felt sorry for me,
or maybe he'd been in the same type of situation
when he was a kid.
But he did say there was a solution.
Atlantic City College had to lose.
He said he had a customer who knew a guy
who had a cousin whose brother he thought could help.
So now the timing was perfect.
It was the last week of the season,
and Russell had decided to bet it all
on Atlantic City College over their arch rival
Hackensack State.
He had bet $250.
- Two hundred and fifty big ones.
- We're going to use the money to take a trip.
- Maybe you ought to postpone.
- What are you talking about?
- Didn't you hear?
Atlantic City College lost 24 to 10.
- That's a shame.
- That's impossible.
- It's right here in the paper.
- [Sal] Newspapers are swamped on Saturday nights.
People calling in ball scores from all over the state.
College scores, high school results.
Just another line of type that nobody checked.
- I don't know how you did this.
- Did what?
- Nothing.
- Hey, Rusty, I'm sorry about the 250 clams,
but I guess that makes us about even for the season.
- Can we still take a ride down there?
I was going to save it as a surprise,
but I think I want to go to Atlantic City College
after I graduate.
- What?
- Please.
- Sounds like fun, Russell.
- You're going to pay for this, Banducci.
- The season's over.
- Oh, yeah?
Well, then I guess it's a good thing
that they got invited to the Tomato Bowl.
- The Tomato Bowl.
- They're seven over Hoboken.
- Look, Captain, all I'm saying is,
getting a fashion lesson from your relative
is like no big deal.
Sal getting shaken down from a fellow criminal
is like justice.
These are not things that are going to
scar you for the rest of your life.
- They could.
- What do you know, huh?
Sweet thing like you probably never got hassled by anyone.
[laughter]
- How'd you like to get smacked in the face
every day of your life.
- Is that a threat or part of a story?
- That's what happened to me back in 4th grade.
- Every day?
- Every day.
Every day at recess.
- I just don't see how anyone could possibly
kick himself in the nose.
Sounds like a first to me.
Would you mind telling me how you managed such a thing?
- By accident.
- Hmmm, this will sting a little.
- [Hanson] Like I didn't know by then, right?
- Thomas, I just don't know what we're going to do with you.
Yesterday, you tripped over your lunch box.
Monday, you whack your chin on the lockers,
and today you managed to kick yourself in the nose.
- Just not my week.
- I should say.
Have you ever considered wearing glasses?
- [Hanson] My dad tried to give me boxing lessons,
and he told me, "Just drop the guy."
There was this one tiny detail he didn't really know.
[ominous music]
- Looking for this.
- [Hanson] Maureen Maroney.
- Not much of a player, are you, shorty?
- How could anyone catch their head in a drawer?
- [Penhall] No wonder you couldn't fight back.
- [Hanson] Yeah, I know.
She could have killed me.
But it gets worse.
That was the year that my mom decided
I should take dancing lessons.
- [Sal] Ha! Oh ho!
- Can you see that.
- [Hanson] Figures I'm going to be
the next Fred Astair or something.
- Thomas, come on, join the others.
We're about to rumba.
- And guess who else is learning to rumba.
- [Penhall] Maureen the Miserable.
- [Hanson] Armed with a deadly pair of tap shoes.
- Kind of light on your feet, ain't ya?
- [Hanson] So my dancing career is going nowhere,
and recess is even worse.
- Don't you feel like playing?
- I think I'm safer here.
- Tom, I've been watching out my window
the last couple of days.
I've seen the way Maureen's been treating you.
- Oh, great.
- Do you think there's any special reason
why she's been picking on you?
- She knows I won't hit her.
- I think it's because she likes you.
- Gross!
- Maybe socking you is the only way
she can get your attention.
You could try talking to her, you know.
She's in your dance class, isn't she?
- Yeah.
- Maybe you could invite her to the cotillion.
What have you got to lose?
- [Hanson] So now I'm really mixed up.
I mean, could this lady be right?
Well, I began shooting little glances over at Maureen,
and sure enough, she's watching me.
But you know, I'm getting mixed signals here.
Finally, I decided to take the plunge.
I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen, right?
- Hiya, runt, where you been hiding?
- Listen, Maureen, I know why you've been
picking on me so much,
and I'm glad that you like me.
I thought maybe this weekend you might want to be
my partner at the cotillion.
- You want me to be your partner at the cotillion?
Gee, I don't know what else I can say except,
forget it!
[crashing]
- [Hanson] So now comes the night of the big cotillion.
The place is packed with parents.
All I can think of is how to keep away from Maureen,
because I know she's going to try and mess me up.
All of a sudden I see her come,
and she's got this twisted grin on her face.
[waltz music]
- Your offer is accepted with pleasure.
- [Hanson] Before I know what hits me,
she takes me in her arms, and we're out on the dance floor.
- [Penhall] Did she try to trip you?
- [Hanson] No.
- [Ioki] Socked you in the jaw.
- [Hanson] No.
- [Hoffs] She pushed you into the punch bowl, right?
- [Hanson] Not exactly.
- [Hoffs] So, what happened?
- [Hanson] Well, you know, we kept dancing.
After a while she let me lead.
- [Hoffs] Then?
- [Hanson] Then I found myself thinking,
"Well, this ain't so bad."
So I thought, "What the hell.
"I'm going to go for it."
- [Hoffs] And?
- [Hanson] She wasn't ready.
- The first of many feisty women in your life, Hanson.
- I got one, I got one.
- You had a bully problem?
- Yeah, I had a bully problem.
I was about 10 years old.
I was your basic loner type, kept to myself.
But there was this lunch money goon,
and now it was my turn.
- Okay, punk, give me your lunch money.
- [Penhall] That's it?
- That wasn't much of a bully story.
- He wasn't much of a bully.
Never said it was a big problem.
- Macho man.
- Those are all really nice stories.
But they're nothing!
You want to hear about bullies?
I'll tell you about bullies.
After my parents died,
I moved to a new town with my aunt and uncle.
At this school there was this one particular kid
named Jack Archer.
That's a name I'll never forget.
I don't know, there was something about me
this kid just didn't like.
- Will you quit it?
- [Penhall] I think he said it was my face.
I was always trying to dodge this guy.
- Hey, pen pal.
I'm talking to you, pen pal.
- What do you want, Jack?
- What's my name?
- Jack.
Mr. Jack.
- So what have we got today?
Your mom makes crummy tuna.
See you later, pen pal.
- [Penhall] Finally, I had to ask my aunt
to pack me two lunches, one for me to eat,
and one for Jack to shove in my face.
- Doug, that's awful.
- I was just glad she never packed me any walnuts.
Things were really getting bad for me, you know.
He'd knock the books out of my hands
just so he could watch me pick them up again,
and then knock them out again.
It got so bad that I'd eventually just
throw my books down on the ground,
save him the trouble.
It was around this time that we had
what they call a science fair,
and I wanted to win this thing so bad.
So I make this incredible model out of toothpicks.
- [Captain] Out of toothpicks?
- [Penhall] Well, what'd you want me to do?
Weld something together?
Anyway, all I can think about
is how I'm going to get to class
without bumping into Jack.
[spy music]
Twenty-five feet from glory.
- Hey, pen pal.
- Get away from it, Jack.
- What is that?
- Jack, get out of here, I mean it.
- I'm not going to do nothing to it.
What's it supposed to be?
- Apollo 15.
- A rocket, huh?
What do you say we fire this baby up?
- Jack, get out of here.
Leave me alone.
- Why'd you do that, jerk?
I wasn't going to do nothing to it.
By the way, you got a toothpick?
- [Penhall] Now who would ever give a lighter
to a psychopath like that?
- Uncle Nick?
- Hmmm?
- Could we talk about something?
- Sure, but it depends.
Is it something that's going to give me
happiness, sadness, gladness, or heartburn?
What?
- No, it's--
It's not a heartburn type question.
- Shoot.
- I wish we never moved to this town.
- What are you talking about?
This is a beautiful town.
It's got trees, that park, good schools.
- The kids at school are all creeps.
- That Archer boy, still?
Did you tell your teacher?
- Uncle Nick?
- What?
- I may be a wimp, but I'm no snitch.
- Okay, don't be a snitch.
But let me tell you something about bullies.
Underneath they're cowards.
They're scared, just like the rest of us.
We're all scared.
But if you face up to them, they will back down.
But you have got to stand your ground.
You got to.
- You didn't fall for that, did you?
- Oh, God, I can't look.
[bell ringing]
- Hey, pen pal, look.
My shoe is untied.
- Tie it yourself, bean brain.
- What did you say?
- You heard me, dipstick.
I told you to back off.
I'm standing my ground.
I'm warning you.
[laughter]
- [Hanson] And that's what happened?
- Yeah, that's what happened.
Except I did learn one very important lesson.
Don't believe everything you hear.
- Why do parents always give their kids such bad advice.
- I think it's because they want their children
to get right what they never could.
- Penhall, I don't see why your bully story
is any more horrible than anybody else's.
- That's just the beginning.
This guy, Jack, terrorized me for five more years.
Somehow he always managed to end up in my class.
Five years of tacks on my seat.
Five years of booby-trapped lockers.
Five years of wedgies.
- [Hoffs] What's a weggie?
- [Penhall] Hanson, tell her.
- [Hanson] I'll show you later.
- [Hoffs] Show me now.
Oh! Hanson!
- [Hanson] Well, you asked.
- [Ioki] So why'd you put up with this guy?
- [Penhall] Fear, intimidation, pain.
- Ow!
- Is there a problem?
- No, no problem.
- [Penhall] But there was a problem, Carol Martin.
This girl, I mean, she looked like
she came out of a shampoo ad.
She had beautiful eyes, gorgeous lips, and--
- [Hoffs] We know the rest, Doug.
- [Penhall] Right, she had all that kind of stuff. too.
I'd adored this girl.
I wanted to ask her out to the prom so bad.
But all she knew about me was,
I was Jack's personal punching bag.
Besides, she was way too perfect for me.
- Oh, sorry, I thought you were somebody else.
- Yeah, I thought you were somebody else, too.
- Um, here, let's get you dried off.
Doug, I was wondering.
Are you doing anything this Saturday night?
- Uh, this Saturday night.
Well, let's see.
No, no, I don't think I am, uh uh, no.
- I know this kind of might sound backwards,
but do you want to go to the prom?
- Uh.
- Is that a yes?
Okay, then, good.
Well, listen, I'm late, so I'll talk to you at lunch, okay?
- Finally, a reason to believe that the world
wasn't set up to torture a 16-year-old kid
named Doug Penhall.
[disco music]
The big night comes, right?
I buy the finest tuxedo money can rent.
[disco music]
My uncle, he loans me this cherry '57 convertible Cadillac.
He never let anyone drive that car.
- I'm going now, Uncle Mike.
- Oh, my goodness.
Now listen, if anything happens to the car
you call me immediately, you understand?
- I will, I will.
- Now you have a jack in the trunk.
- And a flashlight in the glove compartment.
- Exactly.
- So, I look all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
Your garage door is open.
I'm surprised you didn't feel the breeze.
All right, listen, have a good time.
- She's not that kind of girl.
- I mean, you know, I mean be a gentleman.
That's what I'm talking about.
Just drive carefully, please, all right?
- I will.
- Did I ever tell you about the time,
my prom night, with the furry bone.
- Yeah, you told me that story.
That's a good story.
But I, it's late, I've got to go.
- Okay, no sweat.
Listen, the girl, what's her name?
- Carol.
- Carol, is she pretty?
- She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
- I'm so happy.
So long.
Just a minute.
I want to take a picture.
I want to remember this moment for posterity.
I never saw you with a tie.
Get over here, come here.
Your hair is combed.
Get over here, I want to see this.
I want to tell you, I want to tell you something.
I'm very proud of you.
Stand there, look at me.
Perfect.
- [Penhall] All right, so picture this scene, okay.
I'm cruising real slow in my uncle's cherry red Cadillac.
Got Carol Martin at my side.
Just going real slow so everybody'd
get a real good peak, right?
I'm showboating, so what?
I wish you guys could have seen
the look on the other dude's faces.
There wasn't a thing in the world that could have
spoiled my evening, except one.
- Well, hey, hey, hey.
What do we have here?
Rad looking wheels, pen pal.
Is it yours?
- Yeah, well, it's my uncle's.
- Nice.
Hello, sweetheart.
- What are you doing?
- Hey, this thing get FM?
- Archie, get out!
- Shut up.
- [Crowd] Whoa!
- I kind of like this car. [horn honking]
You want to sell it?
- Come on, man, I've got to park it.
- Well, why didn't you say so?
Let me park it.
- Jack, no, no, no, no.
Jack, turn it off.
I mean it, man.
Archer!
[crashing]
- I swore after that night that I would die
before I'd let anybody step on me again.
- So what happened?
- Nothing.
- You never got the guy?
Why didn't you go over to his house with a tire iron
and crack his head open?
- Never got the chance.
Jack Archer moved away.
After high school I went to the police academy.
My uncle, eventually he forgave me,
but I never forgave myself.
- There is no justice.
- Got to make your own justice.
[slow jazz music]
- Douglas!
What? What happened?
Come in.
What is it?
- Oh, are you going to have one of those?
I think I recognize those.
- From?
- From Christmas.
- They were in the freezer.
- Uh, sure they were.
- Ah, it's good to see your face.
- Did you call the guy?
Did you find out where he lives?
- Yeah, I got it.
It's about 45 minutes away.
- Thanks, Uncle Nick.
- That happened eight years ago.
Why don't you forget about it?
- I can't forget it.
- Of course, you can forget it.
- I can't forget it till there's justice.
- Justice, what are you talking about justice.
It's too late now.
You're a grown man.
- It just hurts too much.
- It hurts if you let it.
[solemn music]
Leave it behind, Douglas.
- Thanks.
[solemn music]
[knocking]
[coughing]
- Yeah?
- You Jack Archer?
- Who wants to know?
- [Woman] If that's one of your low-life pals,
tell him you ain't going out tonight.
- Shut the hell up, you stupid cow.
[coughing]
What do you want.
- Nothing.
- [Woman] Get back in here and help me with this,
you lazy bum!
- Maybe I don't want to help you, you fat pig.
[light upbeat music]
- The vice principal's PC is not online with the main frame.
- Hey, guys, I really hate to keep bugging you like this,
but I'm writing a program and it keeps dumping on me,
and I really need some help here.
- You guys ain't going to let this pimple join you.
- Uh uh, no way.
- Why do you keep picking on me?
- Well, one, you're a pimple.
Two, you're clumsy.
And three, you are so stickable.
- You know, you really ought to be nicer,
because one day, you're going to shrink,
and you're going to lose all your hair,
and you might even wind up married to a cow.
You got that?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- Oh, thank you.
- How did you do that?
- Oh, well, psychology really.
You see, I made him believe that I was crushing his hand.
- Have you seen the inside of our club?
You'll love it.
We can do anything here.
- We run this school.
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