-Love always, I'll never forget.
Doug Penhall.
Love always, I'll never forget.
Doug Penhall.
-Catchy, huh?
Mm-hm.
Adkinson.
-How many of these are you sending out?
-About 200.
-200?
-Every woman I've ever dated.
-Why?
-Never fails.
One of them who hasn't thought of my name in four years
has just broken up with her boyfriend.
She'll be charmed.
She'll call me.
-And then?
-And then we'll both go out.
And we'll both be disappointed.
See?
Never fails?
-So why bother?
Uh-oh.
What happened to Dorothy?
-Well, this thing with Dorothy's been going on ever
since we were 14.
Never lasts more than six months a shot.
I gotta plan for the future.
-But you're going to get together, do something special
for Valentine's Day, right?
-Uh-- she's with her parents this week.
How about you?
You going out with Amy?
-Well, we had a little bit of a disagreement.
I hate Valentine's Day.
-Enough of a disagreement to blow off Valentine's Day?
That's not a disagreement.
That's a meltdown.
Or was it just that you're too cheap and you break up with her
before the holiday so you won't have to buy no present?
-Oh, no, no.
I hate Valentine's Day.
-Hey, Oke.
You got a date?
-Well, there's this great girl I just met,
but it seems a little too serious
to leap into a Valentine's Day date.
-She blew you off, huh?
-Basically.
-Hey.
-Mm.
-You, uh, spending the night alone too, Jude?
Actually, I just threw this on to go to the gym.
Don't make such a big deal of it.
I'm just going out to dinner.
-Hey.
That dress makes it a big deal.
Who is he?
-Nobody special.
Assistant D.A. Lamar, OK?
TOGETHER: Ooh.
-Just dinner.
-On Valentine's Day.
-On a school night.
I'll be home early, Daddy.
-How come she has a date and we don't.
HANSON: I think it's the dress.
PENHALL: Seriously?
[whistling]
-Eh.
-Why are you so happy?
-It's Valentine's Day.
And for once, I remembered to send
some flowers and candy to my wife.
-Hey, you going home for a home-cooked meal?
-Are you kidding me?
Heh.
I just bought myself an excuse for not coming home
for at least the next five hours.
-So what are you going to do?
-Let me ask you a question.
If I had a seven eight ten jack showing and raised 20,
would you match me?
-You are talking about the manly art of poker
on Valentine's Day.
-Ha-ha!
-Did somebody say poker?
-Hey, I played poker once.
-Night, guys.
-Captain, you gotta date?
-You are asking moi, Adam Fuller,
if I have a date on Valentine's Day, Harry?
No.
-If it looked like Blowfish had an inside straight
and he raised $20, would you match him?
-Depends.
What's wild?
Has he bluffed before?
How much has he had to drink?
What's his bank like?
Has he been losing the rest of the night?
Gentlemen, ante up.
-Woo.
Ha ha.
Pokage.
-Pokage.
THEME SONG: We never thought we'd
find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.
I said jump.
Down on Jump Street.
Said jump, down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us 'cause there's no one else to call.
And if you told us a decision's what you need,
you better be ready to, be ready to jump.
21 Jump Street.
PENHALL: Seven card, high/low with a declaration, gentlemen.
-You know, I'm not sure I follow this.
-We already told you, we're not buying
the "I never played poker before" routine.
-OK.
I raise.
-You can't raise until I deal.
-I like a man who raises blind.
We may have a compulsive gambler here.
Open for a dollar.
-Oh, two compulsive gamblers.
-I raise.
-There you go, but you might want to look at your cards
first.
-You didn't.
-Yeah.
I'm a compulsive gambler.
Oh, this is pitiful.
Five guys on Valentine's, and not one of us has a date.
-I almost had a date.
-Yeah, you almost had a knock-down, drag-out fight.
-Same thing.
-I call.
-Call.
[fuller laughing]
-I was just remembering the date I had once on Valentine's Day.
It must have been the worst date of my life.
I took this girl Janet Brown to the movies, right?
It rained.
It was a drive-in.
I had a convertible.
The top wouldn't go up.
And the movie was "Tora Tora Tora."
Then, the car got stolen.
And it wasn't even my car.
I mean, I had borrowed the thing.
-I've had worse dates than that.
-So have I.
-It's up to the pair.
-Can I raise?
-Oh.
Good acting job, Harry.
-He bets a dollar.
-Raise a buck.
-Whoa.
-Call.
-I had the worst date of all time.
It changed my life forever.
-In.
Come on, forever?
-For.
Ever.
Get outta Harry.
TOGETHER: Throw in a chip, Harry.
-Pull, poke, you owe me a Coke.
-You dated?
I thought you was born married.
-Just about.
No help?
Trips.
Why you in?
Very nice low.
I'm telling you, I still haven't recovered.
I was 16 years old, had this thing planned for months.
See, Rosa D'Angelo had promised me on her 16th birthday,
we'd go all the way.
PENHALL: Poor Rosa D'Angelo.
-No.
Poor Sal Banducci.
The master was at work making final preparations.
Her father was bowling.
Her mother was in Philadelphia.
ROSA: Sal?
Can't see a thing.
PENHALL: I bet your wife was gorgeous back then.
SAL: Go away.
This is a true story.
-Rosa, I love you.
I really do.
And I'll respect you in the morning.
-Do you respect me now?
-Hey, are we going to tell stories
or are we going to play cards?
-Good poker face, Harry.
Come on.
Was she really into it, Sal?
SAL: Hey, will you come on?
She was crazy for me.
-You know, if he catches us, we're
going to have to get married.
-Jesus?
-My father.
-Rosa, he's not going to catch us.
He's bowling.
Nothing gets in the way of his bowling.
Come on.
Come back here.
That's better.
-What if he comes back early?
-He's not going to come back early.
-I'm going to get something to drink.
Do you want a drink?
[sighs]
-No thank you.
SAL: At this point, I had to start working faster,
because I didn't want to run out of time.
Actually, I knew exactly when Mr. D'Angelo was coming home.
See, I had Harvey Messing.
My man on the inside.
[phone rings]
-Yeah?
No.
Look, I got him in my sights, Sal.
You're golden.
-Yeah.
Strikes.
I believe that ties it up.
-What say we, uh, double it up for this last game, huh?
-You've got it.
-Whoa, great news.
They're upping the stakes.
10 more frames.
That's 40 minutes of serious bowling.
-Sally.
What are you doing?
Who's that?
-Oh, nobody.
-Nobody called?
-No, no.
No.
Come, sit on the couch.
That's better.
PENHALL: This sounds like your best date, Sal.
CAPTAIN FULLER: Except it's with your wife.
SAL: Yeah, it would have been if it wasn't for Harvey Messing.
-Messing, guy lost his cookies in the can.
Grab your mop.
BOSS: Messing.
-Ow.
You son of a--
-Hey, I'm sorry.
-You did that on purpose.
-It slipped, give me a break.
SAL: [inaudible] was not a guy you wanted to mess with.
He was big.
He had his own zip code.
But the rules said, if a guy can't finish a match,
his team loses.
-Well, game forfeit.
-You-- you cheap bum.
Play by the rules.
-Who you calling cheap?
SAL: Big Lou was cheap.
He once tried to toss a quarter into a tollbooth basket
and missed.
He leaned out of the door to get the thing off the ground,
didn't realize he had a seat belt on,
and gave himself a double hernia.
PENHALL: For a quarter?
SAL: Yeah, for a quarter.
-You know, I'll kill you.
Called me cheap-- called me-- I'll kill you.
SAL: By this time, I really had to start moving faster.
-Somebody's here.
-There's nobody here.
-I heard a car.
-There's no car.
[tires squealing outside]
-Oh.
[car door slams]
-Yeah, well nobody just opened up the garage door.
ROSA: There's no room.
There's no room.
-Let me in.
ROSA: Sal, I really think you should go home now.
PENHALL: I'm starting to like this story.
There's great potential for tragedy here.
-Damn kids leaving clothes all over the damn place.
Rosa.
SAL: I was a dead man.
-Rosa.
-Ugh.
-Hi, Mr. D'Angelo.
-Just call me "Dad."
-He had a brother who was a priest,
so we got married the next day at 9:00 AM.
Big Lou was not taking any chances.
Gentlemen, my entire wedding album.
What's ironic is that we never did anything.
My wife was a virgin on our wedding night.
-OK, guys.
Look.
I'm not sure if I understand this idea of a wild card thing.
-Doesn't matter, Harry.
You're winning.
-Harry, look me in the eye and tell me you
have never played poker before.
-Well, just once.
Maybe twice.
OK, new deal.
Uh, sevens and tens are the wild thing.
-Sevens and tens?
-OK, uh-- tens and the guys with the one eye.
PENHALL: I dated a girl with one eye once.
Well, she had two eyes, but she wore an eye patch over one.
And I think it was for that one date too.
-Penhall, give me a break, OK?
-She tied me to the mast of her father's sailboat.
Kept me there for three days.
It was the best weekend of my life.
-Admit it, Penhall, you've had at least one bad date.
-OK, maybe once.
Mary Lou and Betty Sue Fitzgerald.
-Sisters?
-Identical twins, and I'm talking cute.
I was madly in love.
Or at least filled with lust.
-Which one?
-Filled with lust.
-Which sister?
-Oh.
Uh, no.
They were identical twins, man.
It didn't matter.
-Penhall, you are a dog.
-Hey, man.
I wanted to go out with these girls, like, forever.
And I didn't care which, either.
So I run into one, right?
Uh, Betty Lou--
Betty Sue.
-Betty Sue, at the supermarket.
And I ask her out to dinner.
She says yes.
But then I call her up.
I say, we still on for tonight?
9:00 at the Tiki Room.
Now, the voice sounded exactly the same.
And I didn't realize it was the other one who
answered the phone and agreed to go out with me.
And I didn't find out until it was too late.
PENHALL: We went to one of those Tahitian fishing
village places-- you know, where they got the drinks
with the little umbrellas in them?
With the fruit mix and all that?
Well, two of those and you've either got drunk or sick,
or both.
-So.
-That's a-- a nice dress.
-Well, thanks.
-This, uh-- this restaurant is nice, isn't it?
HANSON: Who's nightmare is this, hers or yours?
PENHALL: I was nervous.
HANSON: You were boring.
-So how's the auto rental business been?
-Well, it's made me understand, Doug that there are only two
ways to live your life.
Weekly or by the mile.
-That's funny.
-We've got specials tonight.
You, uh, want to hear what they are?
-Why don't you just bring us anything that comes on fire?
-What, are you kidding?
Most of what we serve comes surrounded by a bit of flame.
I'll, uh, bring menus.
-Is this place great or what?
Uh, will you excuse me a second?
SAL: Great story.
So far you can't make conversation
and you've got to go to the bathroom.
PENHALL: And that's what did me in.
I should have gone before I left the house.
-Doug.
Oh, Doug.
Wake up, Penhall.
I was beginning to think you wouldn't show.
-Wouldn't show?
-Well, you're a little late.
-Late?
PENHALL: Then, baboom.
It hit me.
The woman I left in the dining room and the woman in the bar
were identical.
But they weren't the same woman.
And suddenly I realized, they were both my dates.
-Did I call you and ask you out?
-Well, yeah, of course.
And I accepted.
That's why we're here.
-I didn't run into you at the supermarket?
-No.
Why?
-Nothing.
-Uh-- are you going to sit down, or should we just go
in for dinner?
PENHALL: Now, for a moment I thought about coming clean.
-I've been thinking about this for a long time.
-You know those guys, the devil and the angel,
who appear on your shoulder right about now?
He won.
Me too.
I've always thought of you as being-- very special.
-Wrong, wrong, wrong.
-That was stupid.
-And greedy.
-And stupid.
HANSON: I thought you only wanted one of them.
PENHALL: I do.
Did.
But this way, I got to double my odds for the evening.
-Oh, Penhall.
You ARE a dog.
-Hey, what does it mean when you have three of one kind
and two of the other?
-Full House.
-Ha ha, four kings.
-Your full house is tens over jacks.
-Is that bad?
-Tens and one-eyed jacks are wild.
You have five aces.
HANSON: I still think we're getting jobbed here.
Penhall, you're a pig.
Your date is in the other room, the woman you asked out.
PENHALL: Yeah, I know.
But when you think about it, which one did I ask out?
CAPTAIN FULLER: Dog.
-Oh, gosh.
Look at the time.
I have this very important phone call
I was supposed to make, like, five minutes ago.
Will you be right here?
-Well, yeah.
I'm not going to go anywhere, Doug.
I'm with you.
-Right.
-Twins.
You're really going after a pair of twins.
I swear I read about this in "Forum" once.
Look, I'm a guy, you're a guy.
I'm proud of what you're trying to do.
I'm going to help you if I can.
But if I don't see it in the tip,
I'd feel it was my duty to explain
to those fine young women just what you're up to.
-20% and their phone number.
-Go for it.
-I got it.
The waiter's the devil.
He was the little guy whispering in your ear.
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
-Just a guess, go on.
-I'm trying to tell a story here.
-OK, I'm sorry.
-OK, so then she says, I was beginning to worry about you.
I'm sorry it took so long.
I, uh-- I saw somebody at the bar I knew
and I had to talk to him for a few minutes.
-Oh.
Why don't you have him join us?
-Uh, he's shy.
-Oh, come on, Doug.
You met some woman at the bar and you're afraid to admit it.
Fess up.
-OK, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
But she's nothing.
I mean, you're special and I'm with you.
HANSON: Get out.
Penhall.
PENHALL: Wait, the girl in the bar was not my type at all.
-Yeah?
Well, maybe I'm not here with you.
Maybe you're not that special.
Maybe I'm Mary Lou.
I'm just kidding.
It was a twin joke.
PENHALL: After this, the date goes fabulously.
Now, I'm telling her stories about dangerous shoot-outs
and drug buys, and she's telling me about corporate rates
and, uh, fleet leasing.
SAL: I bet you were so nervous about this you were twitching.
PENHALL: Wouldn't you be?
I had the chance of a lifetime in the palm of my hands.
-Sir, your lights are on.
-Your lights?
-On your car.
-I have a motorcycle.
-Uh, that's what I meant.
-I had to get you.
The one at the bar just went to check the phones.
-Where are the phones?
-By the men's room.
-Ah, I was going to my car to get some change for the phones.
Long distance.
-Well, why don't we go out to your car anyway, Douglas?
-Mm.
PENHALL: The main thing is, I can't get outta there
without Mary Lou, who's in the bar,
'cause then we'd have to get by Betty Sue, who's
in the dining room.
But I can't get by Mary Lou to get to Betty Sue.
Those legs.
Those-- those everything elses.
I knew I'd never make it by her.
SAL: And the same thing is in the dining room.
PENHALL: Right.
But I just couldn't take the pressure.
SAL: Don't tell me, you wimped out.
PENHALL: You're right.
I realized I was surrounded and I
decided to go on a full retreat.
[choking]
[gong]
-Dinner is served.
PENHALL: My escape attempt failed.
I was trapped like a rat.
-I don't even want to ask.
PENHALL: I was going to have to ride this nightmare out.
SAL: Nightmare?
You were with twins.
PENHALL: Yeah, I know.
Just trust me.
-Betty Sue, what do you say we get this food to go?
-If we get home real late, we can always light it back
on fire.
You just give me a minute.
I'm going to freshen up.
-Friend, put out those flames and box that food.
We're out of here.
-But what about the one in the bar?
Oh, you're not quitting, are you?
She's already turned down three guys.
Oh, what happened to your tie?
-Uh-- it was like this.
-Oh.
-You know those horror movies where you're always shouting--
don't go down to the basement, don't look in the attic,
don't look under the bed?
TOGETHER: Don't go in the bar, Penhall!
PENHALL: Suddenly, the ball game was over.
I got caught and it was overtime.
But I lost.
There I was, caught red-handed.
There was no hope of ever getting out of this alive.
Then I realized, it was all a set-up.
And they both took me home.
I couldn't believe it.
They weren't mad, they were excited.
This kind of thing turned them on.
They decided to teach me a lesson.
So the two of them took me home and taught me a lesson.
Over and over.
And let me tell you something, I learned so many lessons
that night, I deserve an honorary degree from Dr. Ruth.
-You call this a bad date?
-Well, yeah.
They-- they lied to me.
-They lied to you.
-Wait a minute, let me get this straight.
This was a bad date because these two women
who were twins who took you home lied to you?
-Mm-hm.
And there's one more thing.
-More?
-What else could there be?
-After all this, there's more?
-I made it up.
It's not true.
I never had a bad date, and it's my deal.
-How could you?
-You get five cards.
Pass one to the left, two to the right.
The guy on the right gets to choose the cards,
but he doesn't get to look.
-Who doesn't get to look?
-Guy on the right.
-You mean the guy who took two cards?
-Look, just reach out and grab two cards.
-I learned this game at Camp Wonka Manitoba.
-I find that easy to believe.
Captain.
-No, way back then they weren't letting blacks
in to Wonka Manitoba.
-Take two cards.
-Yeah.
-Come on, Hanson.
Tell us the story of the worst date of your life.
-I'm not here to tell stories.
I'm here to play cards.
-Well, how about you?
-Hm?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think I've ever had a bad date, per se.
All right, yeah.
Yeah, well, I guess I did.
Actually, I had the worst worst date of my life.
It, um-- it broke up my marriage.
-Well, that's a clue.
He was married and dating.
-No.
Well, it wasn't exactly a date.
But it ended up like a date.
And it was a mistake, let me tell you.
Well, this was a ways back.
When I was patrol.
PENHALL: How far back?
CAPTAIN FULLER: Way back.
HANSON: Not back to the time when
you wore those stupid sideburns and bell bottoms?
[laughter]
-All right, all right, all right.
What is so funny?
Are you quite done, gentlemen?
Hey, I was young then.
I didn't know better.
Besides that, it was regulation.
-Not that mustache.
-See, I'd been assigned this woman partner.
She was, like, one of the first on the force.
Lynette Johnson.
-Quiet enough for you, fuller?
You think they put us out here to keep me safe?
-What?
They put a woman on the force and you want special treatment
because you're a minority?
-Yeah.
I'd like to be put in danger by something
other than your driving.
CAPTAIN FULLER: Lynette was real likable, and I liked her.
It was the height of the sexual revolution.
She was coming on to me.
Not all the time or anything.
Every once in awhile.
I mean, it wasn't like my father ever taught me to resist women.
So I really wasn't prepared to fend her off.
She was also driving my wife crazy.
PENHALL: Now, pass one to the left.
You get to choose this one.
Pass two to the right.
-Well, you know, it sounds to me like your wife
had a reason for being crazy.
-No, not at first she didn't.
You know, sometimes you spend more time with your partner
than you do your wife.
And in this case, my partner happened
to be a very attractive woman.
-Was there a reason for her to be jealous or not?
-No.
Well, not then.
Look, you-- you guys, you stop after work sometimes, right?
Have a drink with your partner, or get a meal.
Hm?
Nothing wrong with that.
-Want to get a meal sometime?
-Sure, why not?
-We believe you.
Go ahead.
-Anyway, they put us in the Norwich district.
And it was incredibly boring.
I mean, days would go by without a call.
And although everyone was very liberal back then,
they were still afraid to put a woman in a dangerous situation.
So basically, we were babysitting in an area
where nothing ever happens.
I'd been married for about-- well, almost seven years.
And things weren't going too well.
And well, uh--
-I don't know.
It's not my business or anything,
but, uh, well, why do you stay married to her
if you're this unhappy about it?
-My son.
-That's not a good reason.
Unhappy marriage is no place to bring up a child.
I should know.
We should go see a movie sometime.
Come on.
You, me-- alone in the dark.
You'd like it.
-Oh, I don't know.
I've been in the dark before.
-Huh-ho, thank you.
PENHALL: You in or out?
-What?
-It costs $10 to stay in the game.
-Oh.
-Don't I have to bet for the guy on my left?
-No, I don't think so.
-Oh.
-New deal.
Five card draw.
-So, um, you were saying?
-Oh, yeah.
Well, uh, this one night, it was slower than usual.
Nothing was going on.
I mean nothing.
We couldn't even get a decent radio station.
And Lynette finally laid it on the line--
hey, why don't we take an extra long coffee break?
[groaning]
MAN: You've got to be kidding.
MAN: Come on.
CAPTAIN FULLER: I'm telling you guys,
it was the height of the sexual revolution.
-You were on duty.
-Hey, I'm human.
It happens.
I told you, it was a mistake.
-I thought you said your wife had no reason to be crazy.
-My wife was crazy long before there was a reason.
-Oh, yeah?
Well, now there was a reason.
IOKI: So was it worth it?
-I was terrified.
I mean, I am basically not that kind of guy.
And it was a lot worse than that.
I mean, for the first time in damn near ever,
some criminal must've gotten lost,
wandered into the Norwich district, and committed a 417.
[police radio chatter]
OPERATOR [ON SCANNER]: Do you read, 94?
94, please respond.
-We missed the call.
And we weren't off the clock.
-What happened?
-Well, we weren't even aware that the call existed.
I mean, we came back out after-- after it all
and, uh-- well, we were brought up before a review board.
There was an investigation.
I had to testify where we were.
I was a police officer.
I was sworn in.
I told the truth.
I testified exactly as to where I
was, who I was with, and what I was doing
at the time of the call, and why I hadn't responded to my duty
as a police officer.
Kaboom.
It ended my marriage.
-How'd your wife find out?
-Well, when the checks were going
to stop coming for six months, I had to tell her.
I came back home after one shift about a week later,
found everything I owned stacked outside.
I threw away six and a half years
of a relatively good marriage.
She hasn't talked to me since.
I call.
Hey, nobody died.
I mean, my wife remarried, OK?
So cheer up.
Gentlemen, we are playing poker in a church.
I mean, we're going to burn for this.
So who's in?
I'll match you, Sal.
And raise you five.
-Call.
-Mr. Fuller, two pair.
-I thought you were bluffing.
-No, I thought I was bluffing.
You could see my card.
-Can we go back to five card draw?
HOFFS: All right, everyone.
This is a raid.
Gentlemen, you seem to be involved
in illegal gambling on police premises.
-There's only one of you, copper.
And five of us.
What're you gonna do?
-Join in the next hand?
-All right.
HANSON: What happened to your hot date?
-Well, it wasn't so hot.
It ended.
-He let you get away?
Wearing that dress?
HOFFS: He didn't let me get away.
I escaped.
But that was much later.
Thank you.
First off, the guy was late.
[gong]
And then I had forgotten about bow ties.
PENHALL: He wears bow ties?
HOFFS: Hey, that's the least of his problems.
-Sorry, Judy.
Uh, things got really tied up.
Well, you know how it is.
Judge Breaker suddenly decided he
wanted to hear one more case before the end of the day.
And half of the, uh, witnesses had already
given up and gone home.
-Yeah.
I know what you mean.
Well, it's good to see you.
-Yeah.
It's, uh, really good to see you.
I've been hoping to see you for a long time.
-Well, I didn't know.
That's real sweet.
-Yeah.
I've seen you in court and everything
and, uh, asked people about you.
So, um, this is kind of like our second date, huh?
-Well, I mean, if you count buying me
a sandwich out of the vending machine
at the courthouse a date.
-I do.
So, uh, have you ever been here before?
-No, but I've had sushi before.
-But you've never been here before?
-No.
-This place-- uh, this is a kind of special place.
-Oh, yeah?
-Oh, yeah.
Come on.
I want to show you something.
It's not like other sushi bars.
I mean, I love this place.
You have a hard day at work, you spend all this time
depressed and getting angry.
And then you can come here.
-For sushi?
-For complete release.
I love this place.
-And-- I think I love you.
-Now, can you believe that?
TOGETHER: No.
-All right, Hanson, it's your turn.
If you don't tell your story, I'm going to sit on you.
-OK.
[sighs]
It was a Valentine's Day dance, 16 years old.
And Diane Thompson had agreed to go with me.
-You look lovely, Diane.
-Thank you, Mr. Hanson.
[police radio chatter ]
-You ready to roll?
-Sure, Dad.
PENHALL: You took your date to a Valentine's Day dance
in a squad car?
How romantic.
HANSON: Yeah, I did.
-Midnight, sport?
-Come on, Dad.
We talked about this.
1:30?
-OK.
1:30.
Only because I trust Diane.
-Thanks, Mr. Hanson.
-Thanks, Dad.
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, and, uh, you're not going to bring Charlie, are you?
-Well, sure.
He'd love to see you in your tux.
I'm kidding' I'll drop him somewhere.
-Thanks, Dad.
-You have a good time.
-Thanks.
-Your dad seems really nice.
So what'd you do?
-Oh.
Jeez, I'm sorry.
I must have dozed off.
-Forget it.
-I'm just-- I was just kidding.
-Hey, look.
If you don't want to tell your story, you don't have to.
-No, I want to tell it.
-You know something, Charlie?
I can hardly believe that Tommy is already 16.
-Hey, believe it.
You're an old man.
-Thanks.
Doesn't seem like more than a week ago
that Morg and I were dating.
-That was a week ago.
-Well, that doesn't count.
That was our anniversary.
-Tommy's a good kid.
[distant whooping and hollering]
-What are we doing?
-Come on.
-Where are we going?
-Just come on.
-What are we doing here?
Why'd you do that?
-It's Valentine's Day.
And I like you.
And we're at a dance.
What do you want to do, dance?
-I'm not much of a dancer.
Where'd you learn how to do that?
-Dancing school.
-Anyway, it's the prom.
And I make my entrance in a lime green tuxedo.
-Yeah, so?
So it's 1957.
Nobody's got a lime green tuxedo.
I mean, I had this made on account
I'm the master of ceremonies.
I had it special made.
-Well, how'd you get picked master of ceremonies?
-I rigged the vote.
Hey, Frank.
Two cups, huh?
-Hey, I gotta make a pit stop.
What's the matter with you?
-Nothing.
-You sure?
You don't look so good.
What, have you been eating here?
[gunshot]
[hanson sighs]
I don't know why, he's never late.
-I had a really nice time.
You weren't such a bad dancer.
-You weren't such a bad kisser.
-Yeah?
We should do it again sometime.
Let's not wait till Valentine's Day.
-Okee dokee.
-Finally.
Tommy?
Are you OK?
-Charlie's still on patrol.
My father never made it out of the emergency room.
Look, I dealt with all this stuff a long time ago.
Charlie Rosemont sat me down.
He told me what happened.
I'm proud of what my father did that night.
And I'm proud to be able to tell you about it.
But still doesn't mean I gotta like Valentine's Day.
Now deal.
-That's not fair.
-What?
-You hate Valentine's Day, but you took it out on Amy.
You picked a fight with her on purpose, didn't you?
-No.
-Yeah, you did.
She's probably still sitting in her apartment right now,
feeling bad.
-Come on, that was hours ago.
HOFFS: Hanson.
New deal?
-All right.
Here, cash me out Fish Man.
Put it in the safe, will you?
-It's $4.
-Guys, I know it's officially after Valentine's Day,
but could I buy you a drink?
-All of us?
-Well, I never refuse a drink from a beautiful woman.
-According to the Penhall rules of dating,
it's not the next day until the sun actually rises.
-So?
-So it's still Valentine's Day and we got dates.
-Well, date.
-OK, date.
Let's not picky.