TJ: Cleaned out your locker.
Man, that was-- phew.
Stench nearly killed me.
Turned in your library books.
Cost me $6 in fines, but hey, don't worry about it.
That's the kind of guy I am.
Oh, oh.
You know, when I was cleaning your locker,
I found your essay from Mr. Robis's class-- a few typos,
grammatical things, but, uh, overall, it
was pretty good for a bodie.
So I handed it in.
Oh, oh.
Jon.
Jonny, this-- this you're gonna love, man.
I finally made a copy of that tape.
You know, that bootleg?
Listen to this.
[music playing]
-All-- all right.
Listen to the back up.
I think it's Springsteen.
Oh, man.
You used to love Springsteen.
But you still do, huh?
Right?
Oh, did I tell you what happened in Matisse's class?
Yeah, you know, she's piling on the homework as usual.
And so Ellis is getting confused, right?
And she keeps piling on, piling on.
In the meantime--
It's this huge rosary.
I don't know, man.
I think she found God or something.
And we talked about being lumen and shit.
Probably would have flunked out anyway.
[theme music]
-How you doing?
Oh, is Teddy working tonight?
-No, he's bowling.
League championships.
You got any ID for this?
-The league championship.
Not bad.
You know, last weekend, he was worried about qualifying.
Here you go.
-I'm gonna need something else with a picture on it.
Store policy.
-It's OK.
I'm used to it.
Here you go.
[sounds of party inside]
[rock music playing]
-Brian.
-Yeah, how you doing?
-I thought this was supposed to be some kind of party, man.
-Anything break while I was gone?
-Nothing worth getting worried about.
-Tardy party.
[howling]
Dougie, my boy.
How you doing?
-Hey.
Thanks for the invite, man.
If I knew there was gonna be parties like this,
I would have transferred to Central sooner.
I'm impressed.
-There are some people that aren't good at anything.
-Hey, man, what's the deal with the beer?
I mean, uh, your uncle own a liquor store or something?
-Doug.
I have to urinate.
[doorbell]
It's open.
[doorbell]
I said it's open.
[doorbell]
It's my party.
The door's open.
What's the problem?
[doorbell]
What's going on here?
POLICE OFFICER: 17.
17.
16.
17.
16.
Gee, what a surprise.
Nobody's legal.
Where'd you buy the booze from, Ryan?
-Come on.
We had it in the house.
-Oh, sure.
Dad always keeps a couple hundred cans around
in case 80 of his friends drop by, right?
OK, boys and girls.
Party's over.
Ryan, you're coming with us.
-Come on.
[phone ringing]
-Fuller.
Ah, no.
No, I'll transfer you.
Kenny's license match up with any of those things on file?
-Perfectly-- number, address.
Wish I was this lucky in the lottery.
-Hanson.
HANSON: Yeah.
-Is your cover still solid?
-Hey, a Penhall cover comes with a lifetime guarantee.
[phone ringing]
-Fuller Yeah, hold on.
Ioki, line two.
-You know, Captain, we pay people to answer the phones.
-Mmhm.
But we don't pay you to tell me that.
Take a look at this, Hanson.
It's a forgery.
Vice has turned up 300 of these in the last 18 months,
all from the same shop.
I'm putting you, Ioki, and Hoffs on this with Penhall.
-Four cops on a fake ID case?
Isn't that a little top heavy?
Sir?
-Teenage drunk driving accidents have
tripled in the past 12 months, Hanson.
I thought there might be a connection.
[phone ringing]
Fuller.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll talk to him.
[phone ringing]
-Penhall.
Adam?
Oh, Fuller.
No.
He's on another call.
Rhonda?
Rhonda who?
Ballet?
Yeah.
-Look, it will be there by the end of the week.
Yeah.
I'll ship the paperwork the minute it gets here.
PENHALL: Oh, he's kind of cute-- for an older guy.
FULLER: Now, look.
It is out of my hands, OK?
You'll get it when I get.
That's all I can do.
Yeah.
-Adam's really a nice guy, you know,
once you get past all that surface stuff.
No, he's my captain.
-I told him to put her on hold.
-Yeah.
Rhonda?
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, how are you doing?
Yeah, that's fine by me.
OK Great.
I'll see you then.
What did you think you were doing, Penhall?
-I was just laying a little groundwork for you.
You've got it, don't you?
I want to know where these kids are drinking-- which
bars are looking the other way.
I also want-- you got a problem with that, Hanson?
-I don't know.
There's something about coming down on these kids.
-Last year-- 5,000 kids were hosed off
the dashboards of their parents' cars.
I've made a few of those calls.
You know, where you knock on somebody's door at 4 o'clock
in the morning and they say, what's wrong?
Then you got to tell them.
Your kid is dead.
And he was only 16.
I had these made up.
-No offense, Captain, but, uh, these
are gonna be spotted as fakes in a second and a half.
-You think so?
[phone ringing]
Somebody wanna get that?
-Kirby.
-Listen, did you mean what you said before?
KIRBY [ON PHONE]: Hey, how you doing?
-I don't know.
I--
KIRBY [ON PHONE]: Look.
-Look, remember you said that if something bad happened
to someone that, uh, they could still get over it, right?
-I think so.
Well, what happened?
Just say it.
You'll end up feeling a lot better, I promise.
-Those guys in your cell, they didn't
develop any crushes I hope.
-Not at all.
They were a very congenial bunch.
-For felons
-Well, I bet your parents weren't so congenial
when they came and picked you up.
-They were fine once I pulled out the old ace in the hole,
right?
I told them, at least I wasn't doing drugs.
-Yeah, I could be a Soviet spy, but as long
as I wasn't doing drugs, my parents would let it slide.
-Let's grab a seat on the line, right here.
-Tommy!
[shouts]
-Maka maka haka laka!
PENHALL: When did you transfer in, man?
HANSON: It's my first day.
PENHALL: Oh.
Hey, this is Tommy Farver.
I spent six years in summer camp with this guy.
Oh, man.
Hey, this is Brian Kompasick.
-Krompasick.
Hi.
PENHALL: Krompasick.
Great.
This is Tracy Maldonado.
She's Italian.
And this is Kenny Ryan.
-Chugadug, huh?
-Well, it's a long story.
-Yeah, right.
My brother's graduation party, this guy
chugged so many beers even the bartender applauded.
-Well, I had to give up the sport, because, you know,
health reasons and all.
-Yeah, he almost got dropped dead.
-Hey, listen.
You guys wanna ditch?
Come on, it's a great day.
We're young, restless, without a future.
-And we're thirsty.
-Yeah, come on.
-Let's go.
-Can I see some ID, fellas?
-Come on, Ange.
I'm embarrassed.
These are my friends.
-No, it's no problem.
-Let's try something with a picture on it, guys.
-Oh, come on.
We're legal.
-These guys [inaudible].
-Let me see this.
This went full Stevie Wonder.
-He doesn't tend bar.
-Let's find a place where we won't get hassled.
-Yeah.
-Good idea.
-I may be a little sensitive, but I really
don't dig the ambiance here, you know?
-What?
You got something against dead people?
-No, of course not.
My grandparents are dead.
-You know what always freaks me out, man?
Is that Franklin Roosevelt died before World War II ended.
No, I'm serious.
I mean, after he went through, poor guy
dies without knowing that we won.
KENNY: Hey, have another beer, man.
-You know, personally, I hope there's
a heaven or something where I can still
catch Monday night football.
-Always the intellectual.
-Yo, Kenny.
-What?
-Kenny.
Give this a look, man.
-Hey, yo, TJ.
-Who's TJ?
-He's a guy we know from the Letter Box.
-His best friend just-- was buried a couple of weeks ago.
-Bummer.
-Yeah, Jonathan.
It's the only guy I know who's dead.
-What are you Bodines doing here?
-We got tossed out of the Letter Box.
These guys tried getting served with library cards.
-Somebody ought to burn that place down.
-Come on.
What are you kidding?
At least they serve us.
-Hey.
What are you doing?
This is a cemetery.
I mean, people are buried here, you know?
-All right.
I'm sorry, all right.
-Get your hands off me and beat it.
[smooth jazz playing]
-You know, it usually takes me a lot longer
to become this comfortable with someone.
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, don't press me on this, all right?
I'm trying to make a good impression.
-Oh.
-What?
I'm not?
-Relax.
Do help yourself, Captain Briody.
-I'm on the wine tasting committee.
I got to find out if your wine's as bad as the stuff
over at our table.
I still don't know how I got roped into making a retirement
speech.
One of these.
Trust me.
-Yeah, well, it's gotta be a lot better
than that music we've been listening to.
HENDERSON: It's all them psychology, Palones.
You know, I once stopped a guy who blew a 0.24.
-That's over twice the legal limit, sir.
-Well, the guy still beat me out of $40-- playing darts,
waiting for his lawyer to show up.
-What's so funny?
-Oh, I just remembered, Henderson
pulled a rookie rotation.
He's out training these guys tonight.
HENDERSON: He's not an alleged driver or even
an alleged drunk.
See, some times they'll keep it to you
about the baseball scores.
Maybe they'll worry if we're warm enough out here.
These are all key signs.
Palones, am I getting through to you?
-Yes, sir.
HENDERSON: OK.
That was 11.
So, uh, talk to T-Bird.
I'll be right with you.
FULLER: How you feeling tonight, officer?
-Just fine, sir.
-Kind of chilly tonight, isn't it?
Where's your jacket?
-Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?
-No.
-Where are you coming from tonight, sir?
-From dinner.
-And you had nothing to drink with dinner, sir?
-Oh, well, just a couple of glasses of wine.
-Step out of the car, please, sir.
-Oh.
It was white wine.
-I asked you to step out of the car, please, sir.
-See?
See what I get for being nice?
-I asked you to step out of the car, please.
-Look, Officer Palones--
-Step to the front of the car, please.
-Wait, hold on a minute.
I appreciate the job you're trying to do.
I'm a police officer myself.
A captain.
-Then you're familiar with the field sobriety
test, Captain Fuller?
-I only had one drink.
-A moment ago, sir, you told me you had to drinks.
-Of dinner wine.
-Then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask
you to take the breathalyzer, sir.
If you refuse this test, your license
will be revoked for a minimum period of one year.
-This is ridiculous.
-Are you refusing to take the test, sir?
-Give it to me.
-Hey, Captain Fuller, how you doing?
-Who is this guy, Henderson?
The sorcerer's apprentice?
-Palones, say goodnight to Captain Fuller.
-Thank you.
PALONES: I can't do that, sir.
The captain's blown a 0.09.
BAKER: Name.
FULLER: Adam Fuller.
BAKER: Rank.
-Come on, Baker.
You know my name.
You know my rank.
You know I like ketchup on my hot dogs.
And you know I like to pull the ball to the right
because you used to run down everything I hit.
I only had a couple of glasses of wine.
-Grab a cup of coffee up front.
We can skip the holding cell.
-Thanks.
-I'll bring you an S2 to acknowledge receipt
of your hearing date with internal affairs.
-You don't look drunk to me.
-Captain Briody.
You didn't need to be called.
-Officer-related cases, Captain-- supervisor
has to sign you off.
Need a lift?
-I hope your wife is driving.
You had a little to drink tonight.
-Apparently, not as much as you.
-Everybody in that room had a drink or two-- even more.
-Maybe.
They must have remembered where the road block was.
-Oh, so it's OK to drive when you're
drunk as long as you don't get caught?
-Don't take it out on me, Adam.
I didn't bring you in.
-I've been a cop for nearly 15 years, Frank.
-Penhall, listen to this.
PENHALL: Go ahead.
I feel like I'm asleep.
-I did some check on TJ's friend, Jonathan Kelley.
About two months ago, Penhall, he and TJ were in a car wreck.
They were both wasted on alcohol.
Jonny's blood level was a 0.24.
-I'm surprised he could drive.
HOFFS: Apparently, he couldn't.
TJ walked away from it, but, um, Jonny
was paralyzed from the neck down with permanent brain damage.
-Then a couple weeks ago, TJ's taking Jonny for a walk
on some bridge, and somehow Jonny winds up in the river.
TJ jumps in, tries to save him, but, uh, he couldn't.
-Yeah, well, remind me never to stand next to that guy
in an electrical storm.
So you think we can establish a link between the Letter
Box and that accident.
-Well, they're serving a lot of underage kids.
There might be a way to revoke their license
if we can get TJ to testify.
-I'm sure Jonathan's parents would
love to see something like that happen.
-You think he'll do it?
-He already blames the bar for Jonny's death.
At least, that's the way he sounded at the cemetery.
HOFFS: Me and Ioki can go bang on the door of the alcohol--
-Let me guess.
You heard I got arrested last night.
-It, uh, kind of leaked out.
-Well, just to set you straight, this all
started because some rookie cop went overboard.
-Well, we knew it was something like that.
-Something like what?
-Something like you weren't really drinking.
-Thanks for the support.
-Were you drinking?
-No.
-Well, then there's nothing to worry about, is there?
-I had a couple of glasses of wine, Penhall.
I wasn't drinking.
-Oh.
-There's a big distinction.
Look, if you don't mind, I'd rather
keep my personal life personal.
So how's it going?
-Well, uh, just like I thought, Angelo
the waiter took one look at the fake ID
you gave us, laughed us right out of the bar.
-Oh.
So, now what?
-So now, I guess we hook up with Kenny,
try to get some fake ID like his.
-You don't think that, um, maybe that's what I had in mind
when I gave you the bad proof?
-OK.
All right.
You got me.
I'm sorry.
I underestimate you.
I'll never happen again.
-Good.
-Sounds just a little bit defensive, don't you think?
HANSON: Come on.
It was one of those boredom banquets.
Everybody has a couple of drinks.
Doesn't make you drunk.
Fuller's right.
-TJ Caldwell.
Is there a TJ Caldwell here?
TJ Caldwell.
-So how long do we have to wait?
-Think you maybe go 10 minutes so I can develop these?
Or would you rather just take the negatives?
-Uh, don't mind him.
He gets a little cranky when he doesn't nap.
-So you want the whole package?
-What's the whole package?
-Listen.
There's plenty of quality licensers floating around.
But I make available to my customers
the all important second ID.
-That was my idea.
-No.
-So that's $100 all together.
Cash money.
-Well, I couldn't really write you
a check, because I don't have a picture ID.
-They're new.
-These IDs are for amusement only.
You got that?
ANGELO: You fellas gonna try it again?
Oh, nice work.
What'll you guys have?
-Just bring us a pitcher, OK, Angelo?
-Pitcher?
-Thanks, pal.
-So, uh, Brian, what's the story with Trace?
You got your own personal groupie or what?
BRIAN: No.
She's cool.
She just hangs out with us.
Plus, she makes a good barometer.
-What do you mean?
-Well, as soon as me and Kenny start
thinking about hitting on her, we
know we've been drinking too much.
-Exactly.
-Hey, give me a club soda.
-Hey, how's it going?
We met the other day.
-I see Kenny finally got you some decent ID.
-Yeah.
-So what are you doing here?
I thought you hated this place.
-I do.
But every once in a while, I don't know, I gotta come by.
-Hey, listen.
We didn't mean anything by drinking at the cemetery.
-Yeah, hey, it's OK.
I mean, you know, I was just visiting a friend of mine,
you know?
And seeing you guys out there partying just--
-I heard about Jonny.
-Yeah, what'd you hear?
-That he died.
-Yeah, he did die.
So what's that to you?
-Nothing.
I told you I felt bad about sitting
around drinking by Jonny's grave.
I just thought I'd apologize.
-Oh, well, thank you.
No, really.
Thanks so much for apologizing.
-Hey, forget I said anything, all right?
-What the hell are you doing here anyway?
I mean, you come over here, you sit down,
and I'm supposed to feel all happy
because you're such a nice guy and you can relate to me
about something you know nothing about.
You ever even know anybody who died?
-I'm sorry I bothered you.
-Your breathalyzer results are a little
high for two glasses of wine, Captain.
-Them check the calibrations on the equipment.
-Well, maybe they were big glasses.
Captain Fuller, at one point during Officer Palones'
questioning, did you change your story
and tell him you had only one glass of wine?
-Yes.
-Why?
-I wasn't counting.
-Then how do you know you only had two?
-Oh, come on.
We have been through this already.
I was on a date.
I had two glasses of wine, maybe.
Look, Mr. Miller.
I'm not a drinker.
A beer in the afternoon at a football game
is a big deal for me.
And I don't smoke pot, either, or snort cocaine, take drugs,
beat my children, or cheat on my wife-- when I was married.
-Just settle down, now, Captain.
Can we just please try to get through this?
-Look, I'm a little frustrated here.
I'm a good cop.
I do my job well.
It's guys like me that you want on the force.
-I am not questioning whether or not
we want you on the force, Captain.
I'm sure you're a good cop.
-Then why don't you just cut to the bottom line?
Ask me to admit that I could barely walk, much less drive,
because if that's all you want to hear,
I can give it to you now, we can cut this whole thing short.
-That's not the purpose of the interview.
I'm merely trying to ascertain the facts.
-Oh, great.
I'm talking to Joe Friday now.
You know, I can't wait for you people to be on my side
if I'm ever in any serious trouble.
MR. MILLER: Captain Fuller, make no mistake about it.
You're already in serious trouble.
-I just don't think it's working out, you know?
KIRBY [ON PHONE]: Give yourself some breathing room.
Whatever pain you're going through is gonna heal,
but it's going to take time.
-What if I don't wanna wait?
You know?
You know, I don't know if I want to wait.
KIRBY [ON PHONE]: Come on.
You gotta think this through, because it's
kind of a bogus way out.
We gotta take some time and work on this thing.
Now, tell me about your friend.
-My friend's dead.
-Is my case pretty much what you're used to, Fletcher?
-Are you kidding?
This is a walk in the park.
Last guy I defended blew a 0.41.
He was legally dead.
Of course, he did weigh 500 pounds,
but still, that's a pretty big one.
-How did you defend a 0.41?
-You gotta be a little creative.
I said, if my guy's dead, how can he
be convicted of drunk driving?
And he he's not dead, then obviously, the system's
inaccurate.
Either way, he shouldn't be convicted.
-Did they convict him?
-Of course.
-But I must have made some kind of impression,
because two weeks later, one of the judges
called me up to represent him.
-Ah.
So, um, what do you think I'm looking at here?
-That's [inaudible].
Normally, they let is pass.
You know, the biggest problem facing this department
right now is alcoholism.
-But I wasn't drunk.
-I know you weren't drunk.
You were fine.
You could drive.
That's a deal.
RHONDA: So how'd it go?
-You want the party line or you want the truth?
-Whichever's more optimistic.
-Yeah, well, in that case, I'm going
have to make something up.
I keep thinking I'm stuck in some bad "Twilight Zone"
episode.
-I don't remember there being a bad "Twilight Zone" episode.
Adam, relax.
Tomorrow, it's all going to be over.
-Yeah, well, I wish I had the other to do over again.
-Why?
What would you have done differently?
-Yeah, well, for starters, I'd have taken a different way
home.
-I think I'd have sat through a few of those boring speeches
before we left.
-No, no.
No, no.
Didn't we suffer enough through the music?
-Yeah, but you know, looking back,
it might not have been a bad idea
to hang around, let the wine settle.
-Hold on.
Hold on.
What are you saying?
You're not saying I was drunk, are you?
-No, I'm saying that the longer we waited,
the lower the breathalyzer number would have been.
-So what's your point?
People shouldn't be allowed to drink anything
at all if you're going to drive?
-I didn't know I was making a point, Adam.
But yeah, maybe that's the way it should be.
Maybe it should be illegal to drink
at all if you're going to drive.
-That's ridiculous.
-Maybe.
But my way, instead of being arrested,
you'd have spent the night with me.
-Woman's got a point.
-Six months to a year just to investigate the complaint.
-The Letter Box is serving these kids every day.
-I've got 162 cases pending-- kids.
Plus, I gotta worry about a few thousand phony IDs floating
around.
Some guy in town is selling these.
I mean, I can hardly tell they're fakes.
-Yeah, this guy's good, all right.
Same stuff.
We know who's doing these.
-This is good, because you know how many investigators I got
budgeted?
Bet you don't guess three.
I started this job a healthy man.
-So these bars serving underage kids
don't even worry about getting busted.
-We sent a decoy downtown a couple of months ago.
She was four feet eight inches tall.
She looked 14.
she wore braces.
She got served in 18 of 21 saloons.
-Jeez.
I hope you didn't let her drive home.
-Look, can we shut this place down or not?
-Down?
No.
I mean, it's just a five for a second or third offense.
It's a Class A misdemeanor.
-What do you say we try to get Tracy or Brian to make
a statement?
-We can't commit this place.
Besides, they love it here.
At least TJ's not worried about getting loaded anymore.
TJ: Hey.
-Hey, TJ.
How you doing?
Listen, why don't I give you a lift home, huh?
-Hey, no thanks.
I'm-- I'm fine.
-You might if I ask you something, Trace?
-Hm?
-How come you always hang around with these guys?
-Oh, I thought you knew.
Me and Brian are kind of involved.
-Well, he's a lucky guy.
-Wait a second.
Wait a second.
What-- what guy?
What guy?
-You know, that guy.
I keep calling him.
You think I ought to believe him?
-Why don't you-- why don't you sit tight, all right?
I'm just gonna grab my keys.
-I'm gonna give TJ a ride home, all right?
He's kinda-- oh, great.
He's gone.
TJ, don't!
[honking]
Come on, TJ.
Pull over!
TJ!
Pull over!
[honking]
[horn going off]
TJ, you all right?
-Huh?
What?
-You're under arrest, man.
I'm a cop.
[tj vomiting]
So are you, uh, you tired of driving [inaudible]?
-I've got worse.
Hey, I don't get something.
If you're a cop, how come you couldn't get served?
-I was undercover.
-OK.
-Look, uh, TJ-- we want you to testify against the Letter Box
that they served you and Jonny the night of the accident.
Come on.
Let's go after them.
Let's go get the people who are responsible.
-I'm responsible.
-Hanson.
-Yeah.
-Mr. Caldwell is here to sign TJ out.
-You OK?
-Hungover.
-Good.
What happened?
-Well, he side swiped a parked car, wrapped himself
around a tree.
I'd say he was drunk.
-TJ's had a tough couple of months.
-He could have killed somebody today.
Now, look.
I understand he's had a rough time.
But you're gonna have to get TJ some help, Mr. Caldwell,
because your son is a problem drinker.
MR. CALDWELL: My son has problems when he drinks.
There's a difference.
-No, there isn't.
You give me a call.
-Ah, that was fast.
-Hey, I'm a professional.
-That's obvious.
-Those IDs are for amusement only, you got that?
-Yeah, well, these IDs aren't.
-Nice job.
Who'd you go to?
-The police department.
-You're under arrest, Woody.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
FLETCHER: Officer Palones, did the Captain Fuller appear drunk
to you?
-No, sir.
FLETCHER: Was his speech slurred?
-No, sir.
-Were his eyes watery or was his balance off?
-No, they weren't, sir.
-What was your first indication that Officer Fuller might
be driving under the influence?
-He appeared to be overly friendly, sir.
That's a key to spotting an alleged drunken driver.
-Overly friendly, huh?
I see.
What exactly did he say to give you that impression?
-He asked me how I was and commented
on how chilly it was out.
-Was it chilly out?
-Yes, it was.
-Gentlemen, I'm not trying to convince you
that alcohol isn't a problem and that it
doesn't ruin many, many lives.
I just don't believe that it should ruin this one.
[phone ringing]
-Hanson.
Yeah.
I'll be right down, OK?
-Thanks for coming.
-What's up, TJ?
-I wanna give you something.
-Why?
-So I don't blow my head off.
I was driving the car the night Jonny was hurt.
See, we were both drunk and-- and Jonny
was way worse off than me.
And I just told him-- I told him, relax.
Don't worry.
I'll get us home.
I don't even remember the wreck.
They tell me I was thrown from the car.
And it was Jonny's car, so they just figured he was driving.
It's murder, right?
-No, it's not.
Because Jonny drowned.
He fell off the bridge.
-Yeah.
Well, he was pushed.
I just couldn't let him live like that.
I just couldn't.
-He loses his best friend, and chances
are he's gonna be charged with manslaughter.
All he thought he was doing was helping out a friend.
-You think TJ's gonna go to prison?
-I hope not.
Where he should really be going is to a hospital.
-How's that gonna affect the case?
-I don't know.
Hey, how'd it go, Captain?
-I got off.
-Congratulations.
-Don't congratulate me, Penhall.
It wasn't a real smart thing to do.
I think the next time I have a couple of drinks
before driving home, I'll think twice.