1 00:00:18,294 --> 00:00:20,227 THEME SONG: We never thought of finding 2 00:00:20,261 --> 00:00:24,196 a place where we belong. 3 00:00:24,231 --> 00:00:29,650 Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall. 4 00:00:29,684 --> 00:00:33,619 Don't need permission to decide what you believe. 5 00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:36,588 You got to learn something when we meet you after school. 6 00:00:36,622 --> 00:00:40,040 I said jump, down on Jump Street. 7 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:45,976 I said jump, down on Jump Street. 8 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:51,775 Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall. 9 00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:55,745 You'll find you need us, cause there's no one else to call. 10 00:00:55,779 --> 00:01:00,750 When it looks hopeless, a decision's what you need. 11 00:01:00,784 --> 00:01:05,755 You'd better be ready, cause you're running out of time. 12 00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:08,723 I said jump, 21 Jump Street! 13 00:01:08,758 --> 00:01:12,727 [organ music playing] 14 00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:50,248 -I don't think we should do this, Jane. 15 00:01:50,282 --> 00:01:50,972 I don't. 16 00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:51,904 -Of course we shouldn't. 17 00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:53,147 That's why we're doing it. 18 00:01:53,182 --> 00:01:55,149 -We shouldn't have done that other stuff, either. 19 00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:57,634 -What, and give up a chance to see [inaudible]? 20 00:01:57,669 --> 00:01:59,533 -Jane, they're saying Mass. 21 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:00,396 -God will forgive us. 22 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:01,742 He's got a great sense of humor. 23 00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:02,950 -Tell that to Job. 24 00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:04,089 -You got it? 25 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:04,779 -Let's not do it. 26 00:02:04,814 --> 00:02:05,780 -We've got to do it. 27 00:02:05,815 --> 00:02:06,264 Come on! 28 00:02:10,268 --> 00:02:12,373 -Margie, you're going to end up like Miss Manners, 29 00:02:12,408 --> 00:02:13,409 married to a doofus. 30 00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:18,172 -Hey, at this point, I'd take a doofus. 31 00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:19,656 What if we get caught? 32 00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:24,144 -If we get caught, they probably won't let us go to the prom. 33 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:24,937 So relax. 34 00:02:24,972 --> 00:02:28,113 You've got nothing to lose. 35 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:28,665 -Nice. 36 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,597 That was nice. 37 00:02:29,632 --> 00:02:31,565 Thanks. 38 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,532 -Come on! 39 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:36,017 -Good morning, Mother Solanas. 40 00:02:36,052 --> 00:02:37,260 -Ladies. 41 00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:40,263 Now, I know that some of you may be embarrassed, 42 00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:42,541 given the text of this lecture. 43 00:02:42,576 --> 00:02:47,270 But as a senior class here at the Sacred Heart Academy, 44 00:02:47,305 --> 00:02:50,100 I expect today's presentation on sex education 45 00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:54,622 to be received with maturity, and perhaps 46 00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:59,731 even a little bit of healthy excitement. 47 00:02:59,765 --> 00:03:00,870 -Someone open a window. 48 00:03:00,904 --> 00:03:02,043 I'm getting excited already. 49 00:03:04,839 --> 00:03:06,772 -And as the Mother Superior, please 50 00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:09,706 feel free to rely on my experience in these matters 51 00:03:09,741 --> 00:03:12,122 if you have any individual questions. 52 00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:17,990 The Archdiocese has made a video presentation available to us, 53 00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:21,235 and we shall conduct a discussion afterwards. 54 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:25,653 Ladies, the miracle of marriage. 55 00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:29,933 -That's not what my parents call it. 56 00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:33,903 [laughter] 57 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:43,775 [cheering] 58 00:03:43,809 --> 00:03:49,229 -[moaning] 59 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:53,612 [laughter] 60 00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:15,565 [explosion] 61 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,085 [alarm] 62 00:04:18,119 --> 00:04:20,018 -All right, ladies. 63 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:20,708 Single file. 64 00:04:20,743 --> 00:04:21,813 Nothing to worry about. 65 00:04:21,847 --> 00:04:23,055 Don't be alarmed. 66 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:24,056 Don't panic. 67 00:04:24,091 --> 00:04:25,023 Single file. 68 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,024 No talking. 69 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:26,542 All right. 70 00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:29,993 [screaming] 71 00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:55,295 -OK, Hanson. 72 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,606 Tonight is your night. 73 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:57,573 -Is that right? 74 00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:59,333 -Hey, trust me on this, Reggie. 75 00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:00,645 We're talking my talk here. 76 00:05:00,679 --> 00:05:02,025 -Idiot speak? 77 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:02,854 -Hey come on, Harry. 78 00:05:02,888 --> 00:05:03,820 Tell the man. 79 00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:05,339 I made this guy a legend. 80 00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:07,790 Half the girls in town now call him-- [mimes gunshot] 81 00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:09,826 Gunslinger. 82 00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:11,034 So what do you say, huh? 83 00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,382 -Look, I appreciate the offer and everything, 84 00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:15,453 but tonight's my bowling night. 85 00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:16,074 -Bowling? 86 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,594 -Bowling? 87 00:05:18,628 --> 00:05:20,078 -Did he say bowling? 88 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:20,561 -Yes. 89 00:05:20,596 --> 00:05:21,148 Bowling. 90 00:05:21,182 --> 00:05:22,529 I'm in a league. 91 00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:24,531 -A bowling league? 92 00:05:24,565 --> 00:05:25,877 -A bowling league? 93 00:05:25,911 --> 00:05:27,706 -Yes. 94 00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:30,191 -Hanson, Hanson, Hanson. 95 00:05:30,226 --> 00:05:32,055 I'm trying to save your life here, 96 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,886 but you're going to give me a little help. 97 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,301 Bowling? 98 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,786 I once knew a kid whose father was a bowler. 99 00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:40,098 He ran away from home. 100 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,824 He was three. 101 00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:44,274 His mother helped him. 102 00:05:44,309 --> 00:05:47,105 -Listen, maybe there's still time, you know? 103 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:51,351 Maybe Thomas here isn't any good. 104 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,318 -Want to know what my handicap is? 105 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:53,801 -Yeah. 106 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:55,009 Bowling. 107 00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:55,941 Come on, Hanson! 108 00:05:55,976 --> 00:05:58,047 I'm talking about a skunker here! 109 00:05:58,081 --> 00:05:59,082 Girls! 110 00:05:59,117 --> 00:05:59,566 you! 111 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,774 Me! 112 00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:02,396 Out there in the trenches! 113 00:06:02,431 --> 00:06:04,018 And sign up for a tranquilizer gun, 114 00:06:04,053 --> 00:06:06,538 because I'm very, very good at this. 115 00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:08,782 Remember, they call him the Gunslinger. 116 00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:09,817 -Some other night. 117 00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:12,026 Tonight is my bowling night. 118 00:06:12,061 --> 00:06:15,167 -Hanson, tonight is Friday night. 119 00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:17,135 And I don't want you to waste it in the gutter. 120 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,793 Besides, two guys always make out better than one. 121 00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:22,520 -So why don't you just go out with the Gunslinger again. 122 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:23,659 -No way. 123 00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:24,798 OK? 124 00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:27,145 The last time I almost shot myself in the foot, 125 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,354 and I did it on purpose. 126 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,976 -She wasn't that ugly. 127 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,979 -Doug, the lady had a warning from the Surgeon General 128 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,085 tattooed on her chest, OK? 129 00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:37,362 -Hey, Smoker. 130 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,812 You OK? 131 00:06:38,846 --> 00:06:40,261 -Medium well, thank you. 132 00:06:40,296 --> 00:06:41,746 -Yeah, we heard. 133 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,955 -You know, guys, I thought Catholic schoolgirls were 134 00:06:43,989 --> 00:06:46,302 supposed to be good girls, not arsonists. 135 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:50,064 -Yeah, that was pretty scary. 136 00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:50,789 You OK, honey? 137 00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:51,549 -Yeah. 138 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:52,929 How about the other kids? 139 00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:56,070 -Uh, two of them had to spend the night in Mercy Hospital. 140 00:06:56,105 --> 00:06:57,831 Smoke inhalation and bruises. 141 00:06:57,865 --> 00:07:00,212 The rest seemed to be OK. 142 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:02,663 Lucky the whole building didn't burn. 143 00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,458 -Yeah, lucky again. 144 00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:05,770 -Yeah. 145 00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:08,151 We don't seem to know any more than we ever did, do we? 146 00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:09,843 -Sorry. 147 00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:12,190 I know, I know, Jenk, but these are Catholic schoolgirls 148 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,329 we're talking about. 149 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:16,090 Their idea of a good time is bingo. 150 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,713 -That and bowling. 151 00:07:17,747 --> 00:07:19,991 -Well, it looks like we got a firebug on our hands 152 00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:21,337 here, folks. 153 00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:23,822 I mean, last month, there was a fire in the boiler room. 154 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:25,686 Before that, it's a vestibule. 155 00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:29,725 This is the third fire in two weeks inside the school. 156 00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:32,762 -Hey, Jenk, what if we run every one of them 157 00:07:32,797 --> 00:07:34,315 through records and ID, you know? 158 00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,696 Check for priors. 159 00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:37,077 See if any of them have a record. 160 00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:38,181 -Yeah, yeah. 161 00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:39,700 Maybe last Mardi Gras one of them 162 00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:44,567 gave up chocolate for good, and then went psycho on a Mars Bar. 163 00:07:44,602 --> 00:07:45,637 -I already ran them. 164 00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:51,401 You got a Susan Burke, a Dorothy Patterson, 165 00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:52,989 and another girl named Patty Blatcher. 166 00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,543 -Yes. 167 00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:57,200 -Yeah, well, Susan Burke has been arrested eight times 168 00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,202 for shoplifting in the last 16 months. 169 00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:01,446 -That's probably where she gets all her sharp clothes. 170 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,276 Girl's got a heck of a wardrobe. 171 00:08:04,311 --> 00:08:04,898 -OK. 172 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:06,865 Dorothy Patterson. 173 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:10,110 Drunk driving, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, 174 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,526 and a minor marijuana conviction. 175 00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:13,838 -Party girl. 176 00:08:13,872 --> 00:08:14,597 -Patti Blatcher? 177 00:08:14,632 --> 00:08:15,874 -Forget it, Hanson. 178 00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:17,911 Patti Blatcher is the captain of the prom committee, 179 00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:19,015 for cripes' sake. 180 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:22,225 A snob, maybe, Hanson, but not a pyro. 181 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:23,537 -Yeah? 182 00:08:23,572 --> 00:08:25,470 When she was 12 years old, she lit her parents' garage 183 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,437 on fire. 184 00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:29,094 -Looks like you're going to have to join 185 00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:30,130 the prom committee, Jude. 186 00:08:32,753 --> 00:08:35,584 -Oh, another slamarino for the kingpin! 187 00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:37,551 Yeah! 188 00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,449 -Way to go. 189 00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:41,659 -See that? 190 00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:42,349 -Concentration. 191 00:08:42,383 --> 00:08:44,765 -Your friend? 192 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,872 -Yeah, well, sort of, I guess. 193 00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:49,529 -He's very good, isn't he? 194 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,566 -If you like guys who say slamarino, yeah. 195 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:53,567 -I do. 196 00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:54,568 Are you a kingpin? 197 00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:56,743 -In a manner of speaking. 198 00:08:56,777 --> 00:08:57,951 I'm his coach. 199 00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:00,367 -You bowl? 200 00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:01,333 -Not anymore. 201 00:09:01,368 --> 00:09:02,265 Gave it up. 202 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,715 -Why? 203 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,580 -Racecar driving. 204 00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:08,548 -Too bad. 205 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,171 -Well, you know, I'm getting my ball redrilled. 206 00:09:11,205 --> 00:09:13,000 Hey, racecar drivers, wimps! 207 00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:15,796 I'm a bowler! 208 00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:16,763 -Another beer? 209 00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:17,418 -No thanks. 210 00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:18,627 I'll drink his. 211 00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:19,420 Just got a turkey. 212 00:09:19,455 --> 00:09:21,077 -A what? 213 00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:22,458 -Three strikes in a row. 214 00:09:22,492 --> 00:09:23,286 A turkey. 215 00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,564 -Great name for it. 216 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,600 Hanson, let's get out of here before somebody sees us. 217 00:09:26,635 --> 00:09:28,222 -You're not having fun? 218 00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:29,016 -Fun? 219 00:09:29,051 --> 00:09:31,950 -Try it, come on! 220 00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:33,918 -Look out, I'm coming through! 221 00:09:33,952 --> 00:09:37,404 -All right. 222 00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:41,373 -[growling] 223 00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:42,374 -Come on! 224 00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:52,246 -[growling] 225 00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:53,247 -The Penhall! 226 00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:58,667 Revolutionizing the game! [cheer] 227 00:09:58,701 --> 00:09:59,668 -Hey, you! 228 00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:00,565 Out! 229 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,048 -Me? 230 00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:06,157 -OK, OK, OK, I'm sorry. 231 00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:09,505 I was sitting at 187, Penhall, and I was in the seventh frame. 232 00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:10,506 Thank you very much! 233 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:11,403 -What do you want me to do? 234 00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:11,887 Kill myself? 235 00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:12,473 -Yes! 236 00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:13,233 -Really? 237 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:16,236 -We lost the match, Doug! 238 00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:19,653 -Hey, hey, hey, how would you two very lovely ladies 239 00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:22,414 like to take two very depressed bowlers out to dinner? 240 00:10:22,449 --> 00:10:24,175 We just lost the state finals. 241 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:26,004 It was his whole life. 242 00:10:26,039 --> 00:10:27,523 -What do we get? 243 00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:30,112 -Breakfast. 244 00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:31,078 -Get lost. 245 00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:37,740 -What? 246 00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:39,224 -I hate you. 247 00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:46,300 -This year's prom theme is very important. 248 00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:51,064 It's our prom, our year, and it's not 249 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:53,066 something we should just, you know, make up. 250 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,240 -How about where the boys aren't? 251 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,863 I'm never going to get a date for this. 252 00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:57,933 -Will you relax? 253 00:10:57,967 --> 00:11:00,004 You've got a whole week to dig somebody up. 254 00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:01,453 -Who'd you ask, Kinney? 255 00:11:01,488 --> 00:11:02,834 -Are you kidding? 256 00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:05,803 If she doesn't get her grades up, Solanas says she can't go. 257 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:07,908 -I'll worry about my grades. 258 00:11:07,943 --> 00:11:10,393 -You know, I mean, proms, I mean, they're kind of scary, 259 00:11:10,428 --> 00:11:11,671 you know? 260 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,258 I mean, you wait for them for like a million years, 261 00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:14,743 and they usually end up being, like, 262 00:11:14,777 --> 00:11:16,572 the worst night of your life. 263 00:11:16,606 --> 00:11:17,400 -That's it! 264 00:11:17,435 --> 00:11:18,850 The worst night of your life! 265 00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:20,680 I like it! 266 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:21,681 -You would. 267 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,656 [alarms] 268 00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,634 [knocking] 269 00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:45,635 -Come in. 270 00:11:51,158 --> 00:11:54,196 Sit down, Miss Kinney. 271 00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:54,886 -Mother Superior. 272 00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:11,316 -Do you think this is funny? 273 00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:14,285 -Do I-- I think what's funny, Mother Superior? 274 00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:16,770 -I think you know what I'm talking about. 275 00:12:16,805 --> 00:12:18,358 -No, I don't. 276 00:12:18,392 --> 00:12:19,946 -I think you do, and I'm going to have 277 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:22,431 to inform your parents about this. 278 00:12:22,465 --> 00:12:24,744 -It was just a joke. 279 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:28,023 -English literature is a joke to you? 280 00:12:28,057 --> 00:12:31,026 Sister Pauline Trace gave me your essay on Lord Byron. 281 00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:33,166 It's a disgrace. 282 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,237 I'm afraid if your grades don't show 283 00:12:35,271 --> 00:12:37,342 some signs of immediate improvement, 284 00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:40,449 all extracurricular activities here at Sacred Heart 285 00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:44,073 will be off limits to you, including the prom. 286 00:12:44,108 --> 00:12:45,903 Do I make myself clear? 287 00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,837 -Yes, Mother Superior, you do. 288 00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:50,597 -Your reputation as a practical joker 289 00:12:50,631 --> 00:12:54,912 has not gone unnoticed, Miss Kinney. 290 00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:56,948 You don't happen to know anything about the fires 291 00:12:56,983 --> 00:12:59,054 here at Sacred Heart, do you? 292 00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:02,195 -No, I don't. 293 00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:03,541 -I hope not. 294 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,759 Miss Kinney, one more thing. 295 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:20,730 I'll hold this disgusting item until your parents can 296 00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:23,147 come in and pick it up first thing in the morning. 297 00:13:38,162 --> 00:13:42,131 [phone ringing] 298 00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,444 -I would like to thank you for the worst 299 00:13:44,478 --> 00:13:47,343 night of my entire life last night. 300 00:13:47,378 --> 00:13:49,035 And they'll hold that against my average. 301 00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:50,726 -Babe Ruth was no bowler. 302 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,141 Blame me or trade me. 303 00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:54,523 That wasn't my turf. 304 00:13:54,557 --> 00:13:57,181 -Huh, I'm a mudder. 305 00:13:57,215 --> 00:14:00,909 -Excellent shirt, Marty. 306 00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:02,220 Suave bowlers. 307 00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:03,843 -Woo, woo! 308 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,430 -Lock up your ladies. 309 00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:06,811 It's contact sport. 310 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,502 Besides, I always wanted to be a Marty. 311 00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:10,125 -Yeah, you didn't have to shoot yourself in the foot. 312 00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:11,678 -I almost had to shoot Marty. 313 00:14:11,712 --> 00:14:12,679 -Yeah, Harry. 314 00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:13,680 You missed it. 315 00:14:13,714 --> 00:14:17,408 Half the ladies there were named Bert. 316 00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:20,998 Ended up with breakfast in the IHOP, 3:00 AM in the morning. 317 00:14:21,032 --> 00:14:23,345 But tonight will be difficult. 318 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:24,070 Trust me. 319 00:14:24,104 --> 00:14:26,279 I'm going solo. 320 00:14:26,313 --> 00:14:28,039 These ladies can smell an amateur. 321 00:14:28,074 --> 00:14:30,145 -Mm-hm. 322 00:14:30,179 --> 00:14:32,112 -Where's Hoffs? 323 00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:36,013 -In with, uh, Jenko and a head jockey from downtown. 324 00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,291 Sacred Heart had another fire yesterday. 325 00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:38,808 -Really? 326 00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:39,533 -Yeah. 327 00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:40,120 -Hoff's OK? 328 00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:41,466 -Yeah. 329 00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:44,504 It was in the, uh, girls' john, and the janitor put it out 330 00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:46,402 with a fire extinguisher. 331 00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:47,472 -Good. 332 00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:50,027 Wouldn't want her to miss the prom. 333 00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:51,891 -Hey, Penhall, did you go to your prom? 334 00:14:55,722 --> 00:14:57,655 -What is that, a trick question? 335 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,278 Hanson, I went to my first prom when I was 11. 336 00:15:03,247 --> 00:15:03,799 -You did? 337 00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:05,628 -Yeah, I did. 338 00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:08,079 -Well, I never went to mine. 339 00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:10,116 I guess when I was in high school, 340 00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:14,016 I never believed it was the last time I was going to be there. 341 00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:15,121 -Yeah. 342 00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:17,261 I hope you-- what do you think we do all day? 343 00:15:17,295 --> 00:15:18,779 -Man, this is different. 344 00:15:18,814 --> 00:15:20,920 -Yeah, we're adults. 345 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,957 -Could be worse. 346 00:15:23,992 --> 00:15:25,925 It could be pyromaniacs. 347 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,483 -So women don't set fires? 348 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:35,520 -No hard data supports that, uh, since the last century, 349 00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:37,557 there hasn't been enough evidence of fire setting 350 00:15:37,591 --> 00:15:39,524 among women to be named a phenomenon. 351 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:42,769 You know, this hasn't always been the case, however. 352 00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,598 During the 18th and 19th century, 353 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:46,393 arsonists were often servant girls 354 00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:48,568 who set fire to their master's house. 355 00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:49,983 It was generally assumed that they 356 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:52,399 were suffering from the anxiety of menstruation, 357 00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:55,161 the fear of pregnancy, the depression of puberty, 358 00:15:55,195 --> 00:15:57,059 et cetera, et cetera. 359 00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:59,027 -You know, I'm sorry, Mr. Young, but at $2,000 360 00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:01,098 a semester, Sacred Heart Academy doesn't 361 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:03,479 have a lot of servant girls. 362 00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:04,756 Jenk, man, I am lost. 363 00:16:04,791 --> 00:16:06,517 I don't know whether I should be looking for someone 364 00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,174 on the inside or the outside. 365 00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:11,073 -Well, let's start on the inside. 366 00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:13,075 I mean, if this was a professional job, 367 00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:14,525 Sacred Heart School would already 368 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,803 be an insurance claim by now. 369 00:16:16,837 --> 00:16:18,287 No, I'll get the Department to put 370 00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:20,048 a guy on the inside at night. 371 00:16:20,082 --> 00:16:22,878 You keep working days, darling. 372 00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:24,293 We assume that whoever's starting 373 00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:28,435 these fires is on the scene and possibly running 374 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,886 a risk of getting caught in the fire. 375 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,853 -Maybe they want to get caught. 376 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:34,234 -Maybe. 377 00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:39,032 You know, there was something like an heroic victim syndrome. 378 00:16:39,067 --> 00:16:42,553 Apparently, these, uh, women would stage a bizarre fire, 379 00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,486 usually on their own property, where 380 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,971 they would appear sometimes fantastically dressed 381 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,146 for the occasion as part of the drama. 382 00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:53,564 The heroic victim dying in the fire. 383 00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:54,323 -How about a prom? 384 00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:24,664 -Hi. 385 00:17:24,698 --> 00:17:26,907 Is anybody sitting here? 386 00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:27,391 -No. 387 00:17:33,259 --> 00:17:35,847 I said no one was sitting there. 388 00:17:35,882 --> 00:17:36,814 -There is now. 389 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:37,780 Doug Penhall. 390 00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:40,645 Yours? 391 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,509 You know, we're going to remember this, 392 00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,615 and, uh, we're gonna laugh about the first time 393 00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:47,790 I sat down next to you, and, uh, you said get lost. 394 00:17:47,825 --> 00:17:49,792 -I haven't told you to get lost. 395 00:17:49,827 --> 00:17:51,380 -Well, I was taking figurative license 396 00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:53,796 with the poetry of the moment. 397 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:54,625 -Get lost. 398 00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:55,488 -Good. 399 00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,662 Now I won't have to misquote you. 400 00:17:57,697 --> 00:17:58,560 What are you drinking? 401 00:17:58,594 --> 00:17:59,526 -I'm not. 402 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:00,113 -Terrific. 403 00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:00,976 Cheap date! 404 00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:03,151 -Look, don't torture me. 405 00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:05,118 Why don't you just cut to the end of your lap 406 00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:06,602 and let me say no? 407 00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:12,505 -Well, then, when I was 17, I joined the Merchant Marines, 408 00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:14,921 because I figured med school wasn't doing me any good. 409 00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:17,682 And that brought me into, uh, Bangkok. 410 00:18:17,717 --> 00:18:18,994 -Bangkok? 411 00:18:19,028 --> 00:18:22,170 -That's where I landed the casino in a bacharach game. 412 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,688 -So, commodities. 413 00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:24,758 No kidding? 414 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,277 -Yeah, well, actually, it was my brother 415 00:18:26,312 --> 00:18:28,555 who had the seat on the Chicago Stock Exchange. 416 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:29,522 -Mm-hm? 417 00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:31,317 -I, uh, I played around in flax seed. 418 00:18:31,351 --> 00:18:35,459 The world's a supermarket, and I'm a comparison shopper. 419 00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:36,839 -Oh. 420 00:18:36,874 --> 00:18:39,152 -Can I, uh-- can I walk you to your car? 421 00:18:39,187 --> 00:18:42,362 -Oh, well, I came by cab. 422 00:18:42,397 --> 00:18:44,537 -Well, then, can I give you a lift? 423 00:18:44,571 --> 00:18:47,885 -Oh, well, no offense or anything, but, I mean, 424 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:50,094 you know, I don't know you, and there 425 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,476 are just so many weirdos out there these days. 426 00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:53,615 -Come on. 427 00:18:53,649 --> 00:18:56,169 You can trust a guy with a casino in Singapore. 428 00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:57,377 -OK. 429 00:18:57,412 --> 00:18:58,654 -This is my trusty steed. 430 00:18:58,689 --> 00:18:59,793 -Looks nice. 431 00:18:59,828 --> 00:19:01,657 -Well, my Mercedes is in the shop. 432 00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:02,348 -I bet. 433 00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:03,176 -You like motorcycles? 434 00:19:03,211 --> 00:19:04,660 -Yeah, I love motorcycles. 435 00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:06,938 -Took me two years to pay for this. 436 00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:07,732 -That's him! 437 00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:08,837 -Shut up! 438 00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:10,045 -What took you so long? 439 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:12,358 -Shut up, the guy's got a life story full of crud. 440 00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:13,842 You're full of crud, you know that? 441 00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:15,740 -I'm a police officer. 442 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:18,226 -Yeah, sure you are. 443 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:18,743 Thanks. 444 00:20:00,613 --> 00:20:02,546 -Stop right there, missy. 445 00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:12,487 -So, have you found your bride yet, Penhall? 446 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:13,488 -That's the girl. 447 00:20:16,111 --> 00:20:16,767 -Where? 448 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,631 -Right here. 449 00:20:18,665 --> 00:20:19,148 -Mm. 450 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,256 Nice teeth. 451 00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,120 -You should run that through the department. 452 00:20:25,154 --> 00:20:26,604 Hang a red light on it for vice. 453 00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:28,330 She could be a pro. 454 00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:31,022 You told her you were a cop? 455 00:20:31,057 --> 00:20:32,161 -Among other things, yeah. 456 00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:33,956 -Yeah, well, maybe you should have told her 457 00:20:33,991 --> 00:20:36,062 that you were a bowler. 458 00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:37,926 -I don't know about you guys. 459 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,136 Maybe you shouldn't travel alone even when you're off duty. 460 00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:44,967 -Yeah, see, girls like this can sniff out an amateur, you know? 461 00:20:45,002 --> 00:20:47,315 -Mm-hm. 462 00:20:47,349 --> 00:20:49,282 -Looks like you're my date for the prom. 463 00:20:49,317 --> 00:20:51,974 -Well, I hate to disappoint you, gang, 464 00:20:52,009 --> 00:20:55,702 but it looks like the sock hop at Sacred Heart off. 465 00:20:55,737 --> 00:20:57,117 -What? 466 00:20:57,152 --> 00:21:00,466 -The guy we had on the inside, caught a young lady last night 467 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,433 just when it seemed she was about to set fire 468 00:21:02,468 --> 00:21:03,745 to the principal's desk. 469 00:21:03,779 --> 00:21:04,297 Here. 470 00:21:04,332 --> 00:21:05,091 It's in there. 471 00:21:07,818 --> 00:21:09,371 -Jane Kinney? 472 00:21:09,406 --> 00:21:10,096 No way. 473 00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:11,891 I don't believe it. 474 00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:13,030 -Why? 475 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,446 -Well, I-- I just didn't think she was our girl. 476 00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:17,034 I mean, she's kind of nice, actually. 477 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,863 -Well, maybe we can fix her up with Penhall. 478 00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:21,072 What do you think? 479 00:21:21,107 --> 00:21:22,833 -It's just a slump. 480 00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:23,627 Relax. 481 00:21:23,661 --> 00:21:25,214 -Where are they holding her? 482 00:21:25,249 --> 00:21:26,561 -County. 483 00:21:26,595 --> 00:21:28,183 The DA hasn't decided if he's gonna charge her as a juvie 484 00:21:28,217 --> 00:21:31,290 or as an adult. 485 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,912 -Then I want to see her. 486 00:21:32,946 --> 00:21:34,396 -If you see her, you know it's going 487 00:21:34,431 --> 00:21:36,743 to blow your cover at Sacred Heart. 488 00:21:36,778 --> 00:21:37,572 -Big deal. 489 00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:40,644 I mean, they already busted her. 490 00:21:40,678 --> 00:21:42,197 -I kind of wanted to go to this prom. 491 00:21:42,231 --> 00:21:45,856 It would have made up for my first one. 492 00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:48,928 Charles Tyrone Cannon. 493 00:21:48,962 --> 00:21:50,067 -Say what? 494 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,897 -The dude that pinned the rose on my dress. 495 00:21:52,932 --> 00:21:56,176 It was a sharp Paris original. 496 00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:58,178 I worked for two summers and saved up 497 00:21:58,213 --> 00:22:00,802 at a burger shack for that dress. 498 00:22:00,836 --> 00:22:04,392 Too bad I never even got to show it off. 499 00:22:04,426 --> 00:22:05,807 -That's what I thought. 500 00:22:05,841 --> 00:22:08,948 Old Charlie Tyrone couldn't wait to get you out of it, could he? 501 00:22:08,982 --> 00:22:10,363 -Very funny, Jenk. 502 00:22:10,398 --> 00:22:11,606 Ha ha. 503 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,434 -[honks] 504 00:22:12,469 --> 00:22:13,987 -No. 505 00:22:14,022 --> 00:22:17,750 He brought his daddy's car, picked me up, 506 00:22:17,784 --> 00:22:20,269 it ran out of gas. 507 00:22:20,304 --> 00:22:23,583 Then he got drunk threw up all over the back seat, 508 00:22:23,618 --> 00:22:24,998 and then got lost. 509 00:22:25,033 --> 00:22:27,346 His parents and I found him in the boiler room in the school 510 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,933 basement at 4:00 the morning. 511 00:22:28,968 --> 00:22:31,453 He said he thought it was the boys' john. 512 00:22:31,488 --> 00:22:32,868 But that's OK, though, because he 513 00:22:32,903 --> 00:22:36,044 was wearing this really, really embarrassing plaid 514 00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:39,288 jacket with two-tone pants and a lavender cummerbund. 515 00:22:39,323 --> 00:22:40,497 -I remember those. 516 00:22:40,531 --> 00:22:44,777 -[laughs] What about yours? 517 00:22:44,811 --> 00:22:49,229 -Five long years, I dreamed of going with Linda Brown. 518 00:22:49,264 --> 00:22:51,128 Somehow, I ended up with Nadine Kraut. 519 00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:53,130 She had to be home by 10:00. 520 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,234 -Mm. 521 00:22:54,269 --> 00:22:55,719 -So I spent the rest of the night watching 522 00:22:55,753 --> 00:22:58,825 continuous screenings of "Rebel Without a Cause" and "Naked 523 00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:01,103 Alibi" with Gloria Grahame and Sterling Hayden. 524 00:23:01,138 --> 00:23:04,348 I was in heaven. 525 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,937 In my pink and black tuxedo. 526 00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:08,801 Of course, that's not what I told my buddies. 527 00:23:08,835 --> 00:23:09,595 -Course not. 528 00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:34,309 -What the heck are you doing here? 529 00:23:37,243 --> 00:23:39,210 -I'm a cop, Jane. 530 00:23:39,245 --> 00:23:41,074 -What? 531 00:23:41,109 --> 00:23:43,422 A cop? 532 00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:44,802 -That's right. 533 00:23:44,837 --> 00:23:47,460 -Well, if I can get busted for setting fires, 534 00:23:47,495 --> 00:23:49,807 I guess you can be a cop. 535 00:23:49,842 --> 00:23:52,051 So all that stuff about you transferring from, 536 00:23:52,085 --> 00:23:54,398 uh, Sweet Home was just a rap? 537 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,056 -Jane, I was put undercover at Sacred Heart 538 00:23:57,090 --> 00:24:00,335 because of the arson. 539 00:24:00,369 --> 00:24:03,269 You know, I'm real surprised it was you. 540 00:24:03,303 --> 00:24:06,203 I mean, I knew you were a little crazy, but arson? 541 00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:07,756 -You think you're surprised? 542 00:24:07,791 --> 00:24:09,689 Forget it! 543 00:24:09,724 --> 00:24:12,727 My parents won't even pay my bail! 544 00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:15,661 Janey has to learn her lesson this time. 545 00:24:15,695 --> 00:24:18,595 They're not too crazy about me.I've got a sense of humor. 546 00:24:18,629 --> 00:24:21,460 -Girl, there's nothing, nothing funny about trying to burn up 547 00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:23,151 a school full of high school kids. 548 00:24:23,185 --> 00:24:24,152 -Depends. 549 00:24:24,186 --> 00:24:24,911 I didn't do it. 550 00:24:28,570 --> 00:24:29,882 -Is that so? 551 00:24:29,916 --> 00:24:32,885 -Yes, that's so! 552 00:24:32,919 --> 00:24:34,507 -Then just what were you doing breaking 553 00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:36,405 into the school in the middle of the night? 554 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:37,821 I read a report that said you were 555 00:24:37,855 --> 00:24:39,547 caught with an open lighter. 556 00:24:39,581 --> 00:24:40,789 -OK, so I'm a lousy thief. 557 00:24:40,824 --> 00:24:42,032 I didn't bring my flashlight. 558 00:24:44,344 --> 00:24:46,830 What I was doing is I was trying to get back 559 00:24:46,864 --> 00:24:50,109 that porno tape we saw in health class yesterday. 560 00:24:50,143 --> 00:24:51,420 -That was you? 561 00:24:51,455 --> 00:24:52,111 -Yeah. 562 00:24:52,145 --> 00:24:53,422 Me and Margie the fink. 563 00:24:57,944 --> 00:25:00,844 Solanas was gonna bust me for it and have my parents come in 564 00:25:00,878 --> 00:25:02,121 to pick it up this morning. 565 00:25:05,089 --> 00:25:07,954 Are you kidding me? 566 00:25:07,989 --> 00:25:09,922 My father still takes me to see Bambi. 567 00:25:12,856 --> 00:25:13,960 I had to do it, you know? 568 00:25:13,995 --> 00:25:17,861 It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. 569 00:25:17,895 --> 00:25:20,449 Either way, I guess I'm not going to the prom. 570 00:25:20,484 --> 00:25:22,866 -Guess you're not. 571 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:24,523 -I didn't do it. 572 00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:26,179 -Sure looks like you did, Jane. 573 00:25:26,214 --> 00:25:27,560 -Yeah, well, what? 574 00:25:27,595 --> 00:25:29,458 I mean, how-- how would you feel if your father found out 575 00:25:29,493 --> 00:25:30,839 you had a movie like that, huh? 576 00:25:30,874 --> 00:25:32,565 -I wouldn't have had a movie like that. 577 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,705 -Oh, what are you, perfect? 578 00:25:34,740 --> 00:25:35,292 Of course. 579 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:35,982 You're a cop. 580 00:25:36,017 --> 00:25:37,087 -Save it. 581 00:25:37,121 --> 00:25:38,191 I'm a person first. 582 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,855 Tell you what. 583 00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:50,031 You keep it between us that I'm a cop, 584 00:25:50,065 --> 00:25:51,964 and I'll stay undercover at Sacred 585 00:25:51,998 --> 00:25:55,415 to see if I can find out more about this arson thing, OK? 586 00:25:55,450 --> 00:25:55,899 -Why? 587 00:25:59,627 --> 00:26:03,803 -Because I know what it's like to miss your prom. 588 00:26:03,838 --> 00:26:05,287 -That's not right! 589 00:26:12,709 --> 00:26:14,193 I didn't OK that! 590 00:26:14,227 --> 00:26:15,608 That is not our theme! 591 00:26:15,643 --> 00:26:18,611 -We took a vote, and you weren't here. 592 00:26:18,646 --> 00:26:21,683 -I am the head of this prom committee, Tracy, not you. 593 00:26:21,718 --> 00:26:23,167 -Since when isn't this a democracy? 594 00:26:23,202 --> 00:26:24,134 -Oh, come on! 595 00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:25,791 That's the-- it's a downer! 596 00:26:25,825 --> 00:26:27,793 The worst night of your life? 597 00:26:27,827 --> 00:26:28,897 That's not a them. 598 00:26:28,932 --> 00:26:30,934 It's one of Kinney's jokes, and she's in jail 599 00:26:30,968 --> 00:26:33,074 for trying to burn this place down. 600 00:26:33,108 --> 00:26:34,662 -That's why we figured it'd fit. 601 00:26:34,696 --> 00:26:36,146 You got a better one? 602 00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,699 -Yes, I do. 603 00:26:37,734 --> 00:26:39,805 -Can't wait to hear this. 604 00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:41,565 What? 605 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,359 -Forget it. 606 00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:42,877 -No, what? 607 00:26:42,911 --> 00:26:43,602 I gotta hear it. 608 00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:44,292 -Why? 609 00:26:44,326 --> 00:26:45,673 So you can ridicule me? 610 00:26:45,707 --> 00:26:47,916 You only get to do stuff like this once in your life, 611 00:26:47,951 --> 00:26:50,609 and so, OK, I want to enjoy it. 612 00:26:50,643 --> 00:26:53,646 You can spit on tradition, but I'm not going to. 613 00:26:53,681 --> 00:26:56,407 -It's a freaking dance, Patty. 614 00:26:56,442 --> 00:26:57,719 Ooh. 615 00:26:57,754 --> 00:27:01,412 -You know, I-I had a name for our theme. 616 00:27:01,447 --> 00:27:02,068 -Really, Margie? 617 00:27:02,103 --> 00:27:03,518 What? 618 00:27:03,552 --> 00:27:04,968 -I guess it was just stupid. 619 00:27:05,002 --> 00:27:06,038 -Oh, maybe not. 620 00:27:06,072 --> 00:27:06,555 What? 621 00:27:10,180 --> 00:27:12,803 -Young love never dies. 622 00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:17,221 -[snorts] 623 00:27:17,256 --> 00:27:19,292 -But, um, just forget it. 624 00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:20,569 -It's not so bad, Margie. 625 00:27:20,604 --> 00:27:21,191 Really. 626 00:27:21,225 --> 00:27:22,330 -Are you kidding? 627 00:27:22,364 --> 00:27:24,470 It sounds like one of those romantic novels 628 00:27:24,504 --> 00:27:27,197 you keep buying in the supermarket. 629 00:27:27,231 --> 00:27:30,476 Yes, Todd, I love you, but who'll 630 00:27:30,510 --> 00:27:34,445 run my tobacco plantation if I elope to Singapore with you? 631 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,829 You, just a lowly karate instructor, and me, 632 00:27:38,864 --> 00:27:41,970 heiress to all of Manhattan? 633 00:27:42,005 --> 00:27:45,284 -You know, you-- you make me sick. 634 00:27:45,318 --> 00:27:48,183 -Got a date yet, Marge? 635 00:27:51,635 --> 00:27:53,464 -That was real nice, Tracy. 636 00:27:53,499 --> 00:27:54,362 -Oh, big deal. 637 00:27:54,396 --> 00:27:55,466 So she doesn't have a date. 638 00:27:55,501 --> 00:27:57,814 God, this thing's gonna be a disaster anyway. 639 00:27:57,848 --> 00:27:59,885 Come on, with Jane and Jay on everything? 640 00:27:59,919 --> 00:28:01,645 -Why do you keep bringing Jane into this? 641 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,957 She's not even going to be here. 642 00:28:02,991 --> 00:28:04,717 I'm sick of it. 643 00:28:04,752 --> 00:28:06,374 And I'm glad she's not going to be here, 644 00:28:06,408 --> 00:28:07,927 because she'd just ruin it! 645 00:28:07,962 --> 00:28:10,102 -Well, listen to her. 646 00:28:10,136 --> 00:28:12,449 Does Lady Ann have a date yet? 647 00:28:20,802 --> 00:28:22,735 -Hey, come on. 648 00:28:22,770 --> 00:28:24,979 -I don't, you know. 649 00:28:25,013 --> 00:28:26,912 I don't have one. 650 00:28:26,946 --> 00:28:29,846 My whole life, I've only had two, and one of them 651 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:30,778 was with my cousin. 652 00:28:35,610 --> 00:28:37,474 I'm not going. 653 00:28:37,508 --> 00:28:38,199 -I'm going. 654 00:28:38,233 --> 00:28:39,338 I don't have a date. 655 00:28:39,372 --> 00:28:40,960 -You don't need a date. 656 00:28:40,995 --> 00:28:42,962 You're gorgeous. 657 00:28:42,997 --> 00:28:43,963 I'm fat. 658 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,715 -OK, fellas. 659 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,061 Now be careful with this lady. 660 00:29:13,096 --> 00:29:16,375 She ain't gonna fall for your basic cornball routine. 661 00:29:16,409 --> 00:29:21,829 She may be a felon, but she is a classy felon. 662 00:29:21,863 --> 00:29:23,416 And in reality, she's a lot prettier. 663 00:29:23,451 --> 00:29:24,245 Believe me. 664 00:29:24,279 --> 00:29:26,247 -Look, how would you know? 665 00:29:26,281 --> 00:29:28,559 -Don't push me on this, ace. 666 00:29:28,594 --> 00:29:29,698 You know, I was in a slump. 667 00:29:29,733 --> 00:29:30,907 My defenses were down. 668 00:29:30,941 --> 00:29:33,392 It could have happened to anyone. 669 00:29:33,426 --> 00:29:35,325 -Her. 670 00:29:35,359 --> 00:29:36,636 -Wouldn't have happened to me. 671 00:29:36,671 --> 00:29:37,223 -Oh, yeah. 672 00:29:37,258 --> 00:29:37,741 That's right. 673 00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,122 I forgot. 674 00:29:39,156 --> 00:29:40,744 You know, you should probably stop working the bowling alley. 675 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:43,057 Too many polyester wallets. 676 00:29:43,091 --> 00:29:44,265 -Here. 677 00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:48,856 I'm making, uh, catching this lady my life's work. 678 00:29:48,890 --> 00:29:53,377 -Have you set a wedding date? 679 00:29:53,412 --> 00:29:56,380 -I can't even get a date. 680 00:29:56,415 --> 00:29:57,347 -Sit tight. 681 00:29:57,381 --> 00:29:59,832 You might. 682 00:29:59,867 --> 00:30:02,835 -[whistling] 683 00:30:02,870 --> 00:30:07,840 [bells chiming] 684 00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:08,841 [knocking] 685 00:30:08,876 --> 00:30:11,326 -Come in. 686 00:30:11,361 --> 00:30:13,846 -Thank you. 687 00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:17,125 Mother, uh, uh, Sister Solanas. 688 00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:21,336 -Sit down, Captain Jenko. 689 00:30:24,132 --> 00:30:25,099 -Thank you. 690 00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,002 -I read Officer Hoffs' report, and I must say, 691 00:30:32,037 --> 00:30:33,141 I was surprised. 692 00:30:33,176 --> 00:30:35,247 It was very well written. 693 00:30:35,281 --> 00:30:36,386 -Oh, yes. 694 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:40,804 Well, Officer Hoffs has very good study habits. 695 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,427 -But I'm afraid I can't go along with the police department's 696 00:30:43,462 --> 00:30:46,845 recommendation of canceling this year's prom. 697 00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:49,123 My girls do so look forward to it, 698 00:30:49,157 --> 00:30:51,780 being one of the few luxuries we give them 699 00:30:51,815 --> 00:30:54,162 here at the Sacred Heart Academy. 700 00:30:54,197 --> 00:30:56,268 -You know, there's a strong possibility, 701 00:30:56,302 --> 00:30:59,996 sister, that, uh, your prom could turn into a bonfire. 702 00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:02,377 -I believe that's your part in this, Captain. 703 00:31:02,412 --> 00:31:03,758 To make sure that doesn't happen. 704 00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:05,035 Am I correct? 705 00:31:05,070 --> 00:31:06,140 -Yes, ma'am. 706 00:31:06,174 --> 00:31:07,727 I just feel the risk we're taking outweighs 707 00:31:07,762 --> 00:31:09,833 the other, uh, considerations. 708 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,905 -Captain, the Sacred Heart Academy 709 00:31:12,940 --> 00:31:14,527 is a private institution. 710 00:31:14,562 --> 00:31:16,495 And like all private institutions, 711 00:31:16,529 --> 00:31:20,257 we must remain competitive. 712 00:31:20,292 --> 00:31:22,950 I don't think shutting down our annual prom because 713 00:31:22,984 --> 00:31:25,193 of a threat of arson would make an appealing 714 00:31:25,228 --> 00:31:28,196 item in our brochure, do you? 715 00:31:28,231 --> 00:31:30,992 -No, ma'am, uh, but a picture of a burning 716 00:31:31,027 --> 00:31:32,994 building in the newspaper wouldn't be too cool, 717 00:31:33,029 --> 00:31:35,031 either, if you know what I mean. 718 00:31:35,065 --> 00:31:38,068 See, sister, uh, in my opinion, we're 719 00:31:38,103 --> 00:31:42,038 not exactly dealing with Miss Mental Health here. 720 00:31:42,072 --> 00:31:44,385 -I'm not interested in your opinions. 721 00:31:44,419 --> 00:31:46,214 Just your assistance. 722 00:31:46,249 --> 00:31:50,046 And I'm counting on you and your squad of whatever you 723 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,426 call them-- 724 00:31:51,461 --> 00:31:53,704 -That depends. 725 00:31:53,739 --> 00:31:57,329 -To keep this year's prom safe. 726 00:31:57,363 --> 00:31:59,193 Thank you, Mr. Jenko. 727 00:31:59,227 --> 00:32:00,090 -You're welcome. 728 00:32:04,370 --> 00:32:05,026 OK. 729 00:32:05,061 --> 00:32:11,136 Uh, so, uh, that's it? 730 00:32:11,170 --> 00:32:16,003 -I expect your men to be dressed in the spirit of the occasion. 731 00:32:16,037 --> 00:32:16,969 -Yes, ma'am. 732 00:32:17,004 --> 00:32:18,143 No problem. 733 00:32:18,177 --> 00:32:19,696 I'm sure we can get a good deal on a couple used, 734 00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:22,975 uh, asbestos tuxedos. 735 00:32:23,010 --> 00:32:26,323 Good day, Sister Solanas. 736 00:32:26,358 --> 00:32:26,875 Excuse me. 737 00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:27,566 See you. 738 00:32:33,399 --> 00:32:35,332 [music playing] 739 00:34:19,954 --> 00:34:23,578 [phone ringing] 740 00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:34,382 -Hello? 741 00:34:39,767 --> 00:34:40,216 Really? 742 00:34:43,046 --> 00:34:44,427 I don't think so. 743 00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:45,186 -Come on, Margie. 744 00:34:45,221 --> 00:34:47,430 What have you got to lose? 745 00:34:47,464 --> 00:34:49,949 -I-- I don't want anyone to laugh at me. 746 00:34:49,984 --> 00:34:51,399 -No one's going to laugh. 747 00:34:51,434 --> 00:34:52,814 Come on, it's your prom. 748 00:34:52,849 --> 00:34:53,884 You only get one. 749 00:34:53,919 --> 00:34:54,678 -I know. 750 00:34:58,544 --> 00:35:00,374 Is he cute? 751 00:35:00,408 --> 00:35:01,892 -Yeah, in a way, yeah. 752 00:35:01,927 --> 00:35:02,376 Yeah. 753 00:35:02,410 --> 00:35:04,688 I guess. 754 00:35:04,723 --> 00:35:07,519 -What's he like? 755 00:35:07,553 --> 00:35:08,140 -Hiya, doll. 756 00:35:08,175 --> 00:35:10,832 Buy you a drink? 757 00:35:10,867 --> 00:35:14,146 -No thank you. 758 00:35:14,181 --> 00:35:15,872 -Strictly business here. 759 00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:16,562 Relax. 760 00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:19,013 I'm a police officer. 761 00:35:19,047 --> 00:35:20,394 -I'm an astronaut. 762 00:35:25,675 --> 00:35:26,952 -Is this real? 763 00:35:26,986 --> 00:35:28,126 -Is the Pope Catholic? 764 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:28,885 -A cop? 765 00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:30,369 Really? 766 00:35:30,404 --> 00:35:31,301 -Yeah. 767 00:35:31,336 --> 00:35:32,440 Somebody's got to do it, you know? 768 00:35:32,475 --> 00:35:33,269 Serve and protect. 769 00:35:33,303 --> 00:35:36,099 Have you seen this girl around? 770 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,619 -Are you really a cop? 771 00:35:38,653 --> 00:35:39,309 -Yeah. 772 00:35:39,344 --> 00:35:40,138 Look, have you seen her? 773 00:35:40,172 --> 00:35:41,863 She might be with this guy. 774 00:35:41,898 --> 00:35:45,384 About six foot, dark complexion, curly hair? 775 00:35:45,419 --> 00:35:48,939 -I've never met a cop before. 776 00:35:48,974 --> 00:35:49,871 -Congratulations. 777 00:35:49,906 --> 00:35:51,252 Look, I'm on duty here. 778 00:35:51,287 --> 00:35:55,601 -When do you get off duty? 779 00:35:55,636 --> 00:35:57,879 -Can I ask you a question? 780 00:35:57,914 --> 00:36:00,123 -If I'm free tonight? 781 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,090 -I gotta go to a prom tonight. 782 00:36:02,125 --> 00:36:03,057 -A prom? 783 00:36:03,091 --> 00:36:04,610 For cops? 784 00:36:04,645 --> 00:36:06,094 -Well, it's a tough school. 785 00:36:06,129 --> 00:36:07,165 Look-- 786 00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:09,684 -You want my phone number? 787 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,584 -Where the hell have you been these past couple of months? 788 00:36:15,552 --> 00:36:18,072 -With me. 789 00:36:18,106 --> 00:36:20,523 -Good place. 790 00:36:20,557 --> 00:36:22,490 I'll just take this. 791 00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:30,912 -You heard too much. 792 00:36:30,947 --> 00:36:32,397 I can't dance in them. 793 00:36:32,431 --> 00:36:35,365 -I can tell you're lying. 794 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,816 -Well, well, well. 795 00:36:37,850 --> 00:36:39,921 Far out. 796 00:36:39,956 --> 00:36:42,130 Looks like we got a Japanese Elvis 797 00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:45,030 Presley, a pimp, and the butler. 798 00:36:45,064 --> 00:36:46,687 -With the budget we got, you're lucky we 799 00:36:46,721 --> 00:36:49,137 could afford to rent the pants. 800 00:36:49,172 --> 00:36:50,760 -Maybe you should go without the pants. 801 00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:53,590 Tell them you're a poor butler. 802 00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:54,867 Cue the tester. 803 00:36:54,902 --> 00:36:57,422 If you don't get that dress on soon, girl, 804 00:36:57,456 --> 00:36:59,424 I'm gonna come up there and staple it on. 805 00:37:03,186 --> 00:37:06,016 I got the fire department on standby. 806 00:37:06,051 --> 00:37:09,779 But the key word here, amigos, is prevention. 807 00:37:09,813 --> 00:37:13,300 So if and when you spot Miss Whacko or whoever, 808 00:37:13,334 --> 00:37:15,923 just waltz them right out of the place, dig? 809 00:37:15,957 --> 00:37:17,131 -Well, that ought to be easy. 810 00:37:17,165 --> 00:37:19,202 I mean, we don't even know who we're looking for. 811 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,998 -Leave it up to your buddy there, Iceberg Slim. 812 00:37:22,032 --> 00:37:23,965 I understand he's got great instincts 813 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,450 when it comes to the ladies. 814 00:37:25,484 --> 00:37:27,624 Right, Mr. Penhall? 815 00:37:27,659 --> 00:37:30,386 Hoffs will be your date, Harry. 816 00:37:30,420 --> 00:37:32,629 Lucky Miss Kinney gets a butler, and Casanova, 817 00:37:32,664 --> 00:37:35,080 you know who you're with. 818 00:37:35,114 --> 00:37:37,358 -The one with the great personality. 819 00:37:37,393 --> 00:37:39,498 Trade you for Hoffs. 820 00:37:39,533 --> 00:37:44,296 -Bud, I don't know if I'd trust you with my great grandmother. 821 00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:45,711 -[whistle] 822 00:37:45,746 --> 00:37:46,643 -Ho ho ho. 823 00:37:46,678 --> 00:37:47,955 -How do I look? 824 00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:48,438 -OK. 825 00:37:48,473 --> 00:37:49,853 -Wow. 826 00:37:49,888 --> 00:37:51,303 -Whoo! 827 00:37:51,338 --> 00:37:52,097 Darling. 828 00:37:52,131 --> 00:37:53,616 You look sensational. 829 00:38:00,588 --> 00:38:03,142 Save the last chance for me, peaches. 830 00:38:03,177 --> 00:38:08,700 And whatever you do, don't let Elvis drive. 831 00:38:08,734 --> 00:38:10,667 [music playing] 832 00:39:01,442 --> 00:39:03,099 -Whoa, I don't think you should do that. 833 00:39:03,133 --> 00:39:04,549 -Hey, come on, man. 834 00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:06,033 Whose side are you on? 835 00:39:06,067 --> 00:39:07,621 Look, what are you, a cop or something? 836 00:39:07,655 --> 00:39:08,760 -Ease up on me, kid. 837 00:39:08,794 --> 00:39:09,864 It's gonna be a long night. 838 00:39:16,664 --> 00:39:18,010 -Uh, great prom. 839 00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:18,942 -Thank you. 840 00:39:18,977 --> 00:39:23,153 I worked very hard on it. 841 00:39:23,188 --> 00:39:25,328 -Uh, thank you for the corsage. 842 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,847 -Uh, yeah, well, you know. 843 00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:29,401 It's a prom. 844 00:39:29,436 --> 00:39:29,884 -Yeah. 845 00:39:38,203 --> 00:39:42,069 -Having a good time? 846 00:39:42,103 --> 00:39:42,552 -You? 847 00:39:42,587 --> 00:39:43,070 -Yeah. 848 00:39:43,104 --> 00:39:44,036 Oh yeah. 849 00:39:49,041 --> 00:39:49,870 You look great. 850 00:39:49,904 --> 00:39:52,907 -Oh, um, so do you. 851 00:39:52,942 --> 00:39:53,460 -Yeah? 852 00:39:53,494 --> 00:39:54,288 You think so? 853 00:39:54,322 --> 00:39:55,772 -Mm-hm. 854 00:39:55,807 --> 00:39:58,775 -Thanks. 855 00:39:58,810 --> 00:40:00,605 -Would you like to dance? 856 00:40:00,639 --> 00:40:01,744 -Oh, no. 857 00:40:01,778 --> 00:40:05,748 I, uh, just, uh, I kind of like standing here. 858 00:40:05,782 --> 00:40:07,232 -I do too. 859 00:40:11,063 --> 00:40:12,962 -Having a lot of fun out there, aren't they? 860 00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:13,480 -Yeah. 861 00:40:13,514 --> 00:40:14,446 -It's nice. 862 00:40:19,278 --> 00:40:21,142 -See anything interesting? 863 00:40:21,177 --> 00:40:21,626 -Yeah. 864 00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:22,558 You. 865 00:40:22,592 --> 00:40:24,352 -Why thank you, sir. 866 00:40:27,045 --> 00:40:28,287 -Do you ever go bowling? 867 00:40:28,322 --> 00:40:29,772 -What? 868 00:40:29,806 --> 00:40:30,462 -Bowling? 869 00:40:30,497 --> 00:40:31,290 You ever go bowling? 870 00:40:31,325 --> 00:40:31,705 -Oh, bowling. 871 00:40:31,739 --> 00:40:32,430 Yeah. 872 00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:33,707 I went, uh, last week. 873 00:40:33,741 --> 00:40:35,467 I think I bowled like a 243, but it was my first time, 874 00:40:35,502 --> 00:40:37,296 so I don't know if that's good or not. 875 00:40:37,331 --> 00:40:37,780 -Really? 876 00:40:37,814 --> 00:40:40,023 -Yeah. 877 00:40:40,058 --> 00:40:42,819 Yeah. 878 00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:43,337 -Seriously? 879 00:40:48,135 --> 00:40:50,068 [murmuring] 880 00:40:53,036 --> 00:40:54,313 -Who the hell is that? 881 00:40:54,348 --> 00:40:55,487 -That is your date. 882 00:40:55,522 --> 00:40:56,833 -My date? 883 00:40:56,868 --> 00:40:58,007 Of course. 884 00:40:58,041 --> 00:41:00,078 And you guys didn't think I still had it, huh? 885 00:41:06,533 --> 00:41:07,085 Hi. 886 00:41:07,119 --> 00:41:08,327 -Good evening. 887 00:41:08,362 --> 00:41:10,537 -Doug Penhall. 888 00:41:10,571 --> 00:41:11,814 -Margaret Zanters. 889 00:41:11,848 --> 00:41:13,643 The pleasure is all mine. 890 00:41:13,678 --> 00:41:14,472 -Yeah, OK. 891 00:41:14,506 --> 00:41:15,507 How about we go dance? 892 00:41:15,542 --> 00:41:16,404 -Don't touch me! 893 00:41:16,439 --> 00:41:17,267 -I'm only trying to-- 894 00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:21,720 -Hey, get back! 895 00:41:21,755 --> 00:41:22,376 Get back! 896 00:41:22,410 --> 00:41:23,239 Get away from her! 897 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:24,723 Get away from her! 898 00:41:28,727 --> 00:41:32,662 [screaming] 899 00:41:55,133 --> 00:41:59,171 [sirens] 900 00:42:03,175 --> 00:42:04,142 -Penhall! 901 00:42:04,176 --> 00:42:05,143 Hey, you OK? 902 00:42:05,177 --> 00:42:06,247 I hope he means they're still in there. 903 00:42:06,282 --> 00:42:07,594 They're inside on the right. 904 00:42:22,056 --> 00:42:23,023 -Another slamarino! 905 00:42:28,511 --> 00:42:30,789 -You know, I didn't think it was possible, 906 00:42:30,824 --> 00:42:33,378 but this prom was even worse than the one 907 00:42:33,412 --> 00:42:35,138 with Charles Tyrone Cannon throwing up 908 00:42:35,173 --> 00:42:37,796 in the back seat of his father's Cadillac. 909 00:42:37,831 --> 00:42:39,073 -Yeah. 910 00:42:39,108 --> 00:42:41,973 Makes me not miss missing my prom so much, you know? 911 00:42:42,007 --> 00:42:42,560 -I don't know. 912 00:42:42,594 --> 00:42:43,768 I liked it. 913 00:42:43,802 --> 00:42:46,356 I mean, who could ever forget something like this? 914 00:42:46,391 --> 00:42:47,288 -Right? 915 00:42:47,323 --> 00:42:48,600 I got stood up by a lady Dracula, 916 00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:51,051 and your date's out there bowling away 917 00:42:51,085 --> 00:42:53,432 like some kind of certified kingpin. 918 00:42:53,467 --> 00:42:55,538 -I feel sorry for people like that. 919 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:56,850 -Me too. 920 00:42:56,884 --> 00:42:58,817 You know, if my kid ever wants to grow up to be a bowler, 921 00:42:58,852 --> 00:43:00,301 straight to reform school. 922 00:43:00,336 --> 00:43:00,957 -No, Penhall. 923 00:43:00,992 --> 00:43:02,200 I mean Margie. 924 00:43:02,234 --> 00:43:03,719 It was her prom, too. 925 00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:09,345 -Yeah. 926 00:43:09,379 --> 00:43:10,691 I guess it was. 927 00:43:14,108 --> 00:43:19,735 -OK, uh, can I get anybody anything to drink? 928 00:43:19,769 --> 00:43:20,252 -Beer? 929 00:43:27,190 --> 00:43:28,122 -Another slamarino! 930 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,023 -Your date. 931 00:43:32,057 --> 00:43:33,990 -[laughing] 932 00:43:52,699 --> 00:43:53,147 -Hi. 933 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,015 -Where'd Ioki go for the beers? 934 00:43:59,050 --> 00:43:59,533 Tokyo? 935 00:44:12,995 --> 00:44:13,478 -Freeze! 936 00:44:19,967 --> 00:44:23,967 [theme music]