1 00:00:18,328 --> 00:00:20,296 THEME SONG: We never thought we'd 2 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:23,264 find a place where we belong. 3 00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:28,752 Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall. 4 00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:33,205 Don't need permission to decide what to believe. 5 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,174 You're gonna learn something when we meet you after school. 6 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:40,661 I said jump, down on Jump Street. 7 00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:46,115 I said jump, down on Jump Street. 8 00:00:46,149 --> 00:00:51,603 Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall. 9 00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:55,331 You'll find you'll need us 'cause there's no one else 10 00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:56,608 to call. 11 00:00:56,642 --> 00:01:01,578 When it feels hopeless, a decision's what you need. 12 00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:04,581 You'd be ready 'cause you're running outta time. 13 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:09,586 I said jump, 21 Jump Street. 14 00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:11,105 [papers rustling] 15 00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:18,172 -Speeding right along, apparently somebody 16 00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:21,037 is trying to relocate South Central High School one 17 00:02:21,071 --> 00:02:22,556 room at a time. 18 00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:26,284 Last night was the fourth B&E in the same amount of months. 19 00:02:26,318 --> 00:02:29,632 No forced entry, no busted windows. 20 00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:32,186 Burglary says it smacks of an inside gig. 21 00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:35,258 Like one kid gets a set of master keys, the next thing, 22 00:02:35,293 --> 00:02:37,571 half the school's drinking free sodas. 23 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,918 And on top of that, some teacher's 24 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:42,507 getting free roses from some secret admirer. 25 00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,819 Here, check it out, Hanson, before the kids 26 00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:49,203 walk into an empty school house. 27 00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:50,722 -Got any suspects? 28 00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:53,207 -Got a couple. 29 00:02:53,242 --> 00:02:55,416 My best bet is a guy named Jeffrey Stone. 30 00:02:55,451 --> 00:02:57,038 Sales everything from hot records 31 00:02:57,073 --> 00:02:59,248 to tickets to The Boss's concerts. 32 00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,629 Third row, center. 33 00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:02,734 -How do I get close? 34 00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:04,287 -I don't know. 35 00:03:04,322 --> 00:03:07,842 Ask him to a rock concert, I guess. 36 00:03:07,877 --> 00:03:09,223 Anything else? 37 00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:11,708 -[CLEARS THROAT] Jenk, uh, could you clear me on a couple extra 38 00:03:11,743 --> 00:03:12,778 hours at lunch? 39 00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:14,470 You know, I got that physical exam today. 40 00:03:14,504 --> 00:03:16,368 -Hey, terrific, Harry. 41 00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:18,681 So you're taking your sergeant's exam. 42 00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:21,062 Sergeant HT Ioki. 43 00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:24,273 Hey, I can dig it, man. 44 00:03:24,307 --> 00:03:25,619 Study hard and fast, Harry. 45 00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:26,309 And good luck. 46 00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,314 [car tires screeching] 47 00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:47,261 -Terrific. 48 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:02,276 No jack. 49 00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:08,282 Yo! 50 00:04:08,317 --> 00:04:09,249 Yo! 51 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,251 Flat tire. 52 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,736 Hey, uh, flat tire. 53 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,255 Will anyone stop for me here? 54 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,228 [car horn honking] 55 00:04:29,717 --> 00:04:30,200 -Hi. 56 00:04:30,235 --> 00:04:31,857 -Hi. 57 00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:34,204 -Looks like you could use some help. 58 00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:35,102 -Yeah, I could. 59 00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:36,897 My tire's flat. 60 00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:37,725 -Only on the bottom. 61 00:04:40,349 --> 00:04:43,697 -You wouldn't happen to have a jack, would ya? 62 00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,389 -Well, I know a Jack, but I don't have a jack. 63 00:04:46,424 --> 00:04:50,082 Big guy, dark hair, eats with his fingers, lousy dancer. 64 00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:51,325 -Different jack. 65 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,119 -Lucky you. 66 00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:08,998 Here.. 67 00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:12,312 Welcome to the '80s. 68 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,693 -Thanks. 69 00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:16,074 -You're welcome. 70 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,041 There should be enough left in there to fill up the bottom. 71 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,495 -Give my regards to Jack. 72 00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,841 -Oh, I can't. 73 00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:26,843 I don't see him anymore. 74 00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:30,537 -Well then, can I make this up to you? 75 00:05:30,571 --> 00:05:31,607 -What do you have in mind? 76 00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:32,815 -Oh, I dunno. 77 00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:37,337 Uh, at least let me offer to fix your next flat. 78 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:40,374 And who knows, lunch, house in the suburbs, 79 00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:42,652 possibly a kid when we're ready. 80 00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:44,585 -I'm not planning on having one any time soon. 81 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:45,448 -A kid or a flat? 82 00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:46,415 -Both. 83 00:05:46,449 --> 00:05:48,313 No jack. 84 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,660 -Are you taking applications? 85 00:05:50,695 --> 00:05:52,835 -[LAUGHING] Have another flat and I'll let you know. 86 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,323 Susan Chadwick. 87 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,740 I'm in the book under "auto repair." 88 00:06:01,775 --> 00:06:03,190 [car engine starting] 89 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,161 ALBERT: Weintraub wants to see you. 90 00:06:09,196 --> 00:06:10,577 -That's a hot tip. 91 00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:12,751 And to think that some people think you're an idiot. 92 00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,307 It's nice work, Albert. 93 00:06:17,342 --> 00:06:19,344 What's this, from your post-tardo period? 94 00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,385 -You punks, all you do is make work for me. 95 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:32,530 And don't you call me Albert. 96 00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:35,878 -That's right, it's Janowitz. 97 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:39,813 That's Polish for "janitor," right? 98 00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:40,641 You still want it? 99 00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:45,750 Want what? 100 00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:48,131 -The compact disc player, Mr. Janitor. 101 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,271 I only got two of them left. 102 00:06:50,306 --> 00:06:51,514 They're very chic. 103 00:06:51,549 --> 00:06:53,585 They make for a great gift item if you 104 00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:55,553 want to impress your girlfriend. 105 00:06:55,587 --> 00:06:58,003 That is, if you have a girlfriend. 106 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,249 Relax. 107 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:04,527 I'll give it to mine. 108 00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:06,046 Have a nice day. 109 00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:13,502 PRINCIPAL WEINTRAUB: Any idea who the artist is, Jeffrey? 110 00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:16,297 JEFFREY: The graffiti art is all the rage now, sir. 111 00:07:16,332 --> 00:07:19,749 Guy in New York who sells this crap by the ton. 112 00:07:19,784 --> 00:07:22,372 Personally, I'm a performance artist. 113 00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:24,513 You know, hanging upside down with a hammer 114 00:07:24,547 --> 00:07:27,688 in my mouth over dried ice? 115 00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:30,173 Sorry. 116 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:32,141 And oh, for hall pass, I, uh hate 117 00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:33,729 to miss Chadwick's English class. 118 00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,351 -No, Stone. 119 00:07:35,385 --> 00:07:37,318 This morning, let's change the routine a little. 120 00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:38,285 Sit down. 121 00:07:41,322 --> 00:07:43,255 How're you spending your time at nights, Stone? 122 00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:44,498 You working? 123 00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:46,362 Neither one of your first two period teachers 124 00:07:46,396 --> 00:07:49,020 can remember the last time they saw you in class. 125 00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:51,194 -It's hard for a night person to work days. 126 00:07:51,229 --> 00:07:53,680 -What do you do at night? 127 00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,544 -Same thing as anybody else. 128 00:07:55,578 --> 00:07:57,028 I just do it a little longer. 129 00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:03,586 -Miss Chadwick found this rose on her desk this morning. 130 00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:06,589 Coincidentally, the school was burglarized again last night. 131 00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:07,901 -Try Merlin Olsen. 132 00:08:07,935 --> 00:08:11,111 Maybe an FTD cupid's gone bad. 133 00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:13,320 -You're a smart kid, Stone. 134 00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:16,944 Don't screw up your life over a few kicks. 135 00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:20,085 -Look, man, if you're accusing me of something, 136 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,949 have me arrested. 137 00:08:21,984 --> 00:08:24,538 Otherwise, you're depriving me of an education. 138 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,273 -You want some excitement in your life? 139 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:38,621 Why don't you try out for the basketball team? 140 00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:41,210 Oh, your brother loved it. 141 00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:42,936 -Did him a lot of good. 142 00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:46,595 Maybe I can get lost in Cambodia, too. 143 00:08:46,629 --> 00:08:48,320 Zero hero, man. 144 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:51,565 FEMALE TEACHER: And his imagery and rhythms 145 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,602 are still considered today some of the most 146 00:08:53,636 --> 00:08:56,087 urgent in contemporary poetry. 147 00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:59,504 So take a few minutes now to read this short work, 148 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,508 and read it a couple of times, paying specific attention 149 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:09,445 to his layers of imagery, and how those images collectively 150 00:09:09,479 --> 00:09:10,964 build to their own inner conclusions. 151 00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,628 -Don't you think you should've called first? 152 00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:20,974 I mean, this is a little,uh-- 153 00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:22,665 -Embarrassing? 154 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:24,633 I'll say. 155 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:27,670 Looks like I'm, uh, sort of in your class. 156 00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:32,330 -Oh, listen-- 157 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,262 -Hey, it's OK. 158 00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:34,539 You don't have to say a thing. 159 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,644 Forget about it. 160 00:09:35,678 --> 00:09:39,164 I mean, uh, I'm just to guy with a flat tire, 161 00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:41,442 and you've got a class to teach, so. 162 00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,309 -So, uh, yeah. 163 00:09:49,727 --> 00:09:53,765 Um, class, this is Tom Gilmore. 164 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,009 He's a new student here. 165 00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:58,528 Tom, I'm Miss Chadwick. 166 00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:00,565 -Pleased to meet you, Miss Chadwick. 167 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,084 -OK, so here you go. 168 00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:05,225 And help yourself to any available seat. 169 00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:11,507 -Sorry Miss Chadwick. 170 00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:12,612 It's these aliens. 171 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,544 You know, you can't rely on them for anything. 172 00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:16,201 They, uh-- they were supposed to have me 173 00:10:16,236 --> 00:10:18,859 back on Earth in time for class, but it, 174 00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:22,483 uh, it took a while to unhook the life support system. 175 00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:23,657 [ROBOTIC VOICE] How are you? 176 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,766 MISS CHADWICK: Thank you, Jeffrey. 177 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,665 I'm sure we're all very amused. 178 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,943 But now I wonder, can we try and hold an English class? 179 00:10:37,188 --> 00:10:40,156 Let's read the poem, and we'll discuss it 180 00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:42,676 at 10 minutes past the hour. 181 00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:44,954 -Psst. 182 00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,784 Van Halen dude. 183 00:10:46,818 --> 00:10:51,685 Absolutely live, absolutely the last two tickets. 184 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,100 -Where'd you get them, man? 185 00:10:53,135 --> 00:10:54,964 I've been looking all over town. 186 00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:56,069 -Don't grab, Wayne. 187 00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:58,347 We are a civilized people. 188 00:10:58,381 --> 00:11:01,695 If you want them, they're yours. 189 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,420 80 bucks. 190 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,080 -Can you front me? 191 00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:08,012 -Ha ha ha. 192 00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:09,496 Front you? 193 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,774 Van Halen, dude. 194 00:11:11,809 --> 00:11:14,950 -I'll take them, 70 bucks right now. 195 00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,745 -75. 196 00:11:16,779 --> 00:11:18,919 -70 bucks. 197 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:22,302 -Man knows his music, Wayne. 198 00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:24,131 This is an English class, not an auction. 199 00:11:28,964 --> 00:11:31,898 -I, uh, I heard the good news, Miss Chadwick. 200 00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:33,969 -What good news is that, Jeffrey? 201 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,972 -That you've got a secret admirer. 202 00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:38,490 [class ooo's] 203 00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,809 -Someone brought you flowers last night, Miss Chadwick? 204 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,677 -Hey. 205 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,300 Hey, negotiator, you still want them for 70? 206 00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:56,612 -Well, 60 now. 207 00:11:56,646 --> 00:11:58,614 Market gets soft after the bell rings, you know? 208 00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,340 -Don't try to out-gun a gunner, ace. 209 00:12:00,374 --> 00:12:02,652 Merry Christmas. 210 00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:03,826 -Free? 211 00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:05,517 Why? 212 00:12:05,552 --> 00:12:06,898 -This way, I win. 213 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:09,625 Anyway, it's kind of like how a bank gives away free toasters-- 214 00:12:09,659 --> 00:12:11,972 you know, new customers and all. 215 00:12:12,007 --> 00:12:13,422 So what, you got a girlfriend? 216 00:12:13,456 --> 00:12:15,320 -Maybe. 217 00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:17,184 -I got a compact disc player. 218 00:12:17,219 --> 00:12:18,703 Makes for a great gift item. 219 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,773 -Yeah, no thanks. 220 00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:21,464 My girlfriend thinks I'm a great gift item. 221 00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:22,396 -Uh, Zeno's tonight. 222 00:12:22,431 --> 00:12:23,535 7, right? 223 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:24,778 I'll buy you a drink. 224 00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:26,746 -What's the matter, doesn't a hot shot like you 225 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,230 have any friends? 226 00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,094 -Depends on what they're selling for. 227 00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:31,992 If, uh, you need an ID, like I said, 228 00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:35,893 I got a department that handles that, too. 229 00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:37,687 Most of these other jerks around here, 230 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,620 they're just waiting for the prom. 231 00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:41,208 You need someone to show you around 232 00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:44,246 before you end up buying the dog a corsage. 233 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:44,764 Later. 234 00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:48,629 FEMALE SPEAKER: Kids have had crushes on their teachers 235 00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,321 since the beginning of time. 236 00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:52,668 It's nothing to worry about. 237 00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:55,567 Oh, up a few more inches on your side, Albert. 238 00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,707 Perfect. 239 00:12:57,742 --> 00:12:59,709 -This is more than just a crush, Kathryn. 240 00:12:59,744 --> 00:13:01,608 I can see it in his eyes. 241 00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:05,094 And that burglary last night and the rose on my desk? 242 00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:07,890 -Susan, your class is the only one 243 00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:10,582 that Jeffrey attends with any regularity. 244 00:13:10,617 --> 00:13:13,551 If I take him out now, I'm afraid he'll just 245 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,002 stop coming to school. 246 00:13:16,036 --> 00:13:17,003 I like Jeffrey. 247 00:13:17,037 --> 00:13:18,867 He's a bright kid. 248 00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:21,248 I had him as a sophomore. 249 00:13:21,283 --> 00:13:22,663 His folks split up that year. 250 00:13:22,698 --> 00:13:25,494 Took it pretty hard. 251 00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:28,808 Mm, too bad Kyle isn't here. 252 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,845 He'd have been a real good influence. 253 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,020 Handsome boy, very popular. 254 00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:35,711 You'd have liked him. 255 00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:38,438 All-American, wasn't he, Albert? 256 00:13:38,472 --> 00:13:39,680 -Yes, ma'am. 257 00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:41,855 Basketball state champions my senior year. 258 00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:47,136 -Come on, Susan. 259 00:13:47,171 --> 00:13:50,588 Didn't you ever have a crush on a teacher? 260 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,590 -Mine was Mr. Peterson. 261 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,661 Eighth grade biology. 262 00:13:54,695 --> 00:13:55,904 -Lucky guy. 263 00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:57,871 See you in the morning. 264 00:13:57,906 --> 00:13:58,872 -Yeah, thanks. 265 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:13,197 -No disrespect to Miss Lezar, but he wasn't such a hot shot. 266 00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:14,750 Stone's older brother, Kyle. 267 00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:16,441 Believe me. 268 00:14:16,476 --> 00:14:19,582 And all mouth, both of them. 269 00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:20,376 Must be hereditary. 270 00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:28,005 That little punk gives you any more trouble, I'll handle it. 271 00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:41,915 -Hi. 272 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:42,398 -Hi. 273 00:14:45,954 --> 00:14:48,957 -Got something for you. 274 00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:52,132 I wouldn't want to owe you when it comes to midterms, you know? 275 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,548 -OK, so we're even. 276 00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:59,105 And listen, thanks a lot for-- you know. 277 00:15:02,487 --> 00:15:04,973 Could've been real embarrassing for me. 278 00:15:05,007 --> 00:15:09,667 I came on pretty hard, and, uh, I'm a teacher. 279 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,875 -Yes, ma'am. 280 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:15,190 And I'm just a kid in your class with a flat tire. 281 00:15:15,224 --> 00:15:18,365 -Yup, I guess you are. 282 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,575 -See you later, Miss Chadwick. 283 00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:25,200 -You know, I didn't figure you for a Van Halen fan. 284 00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:27,409 -Yeah, and I didn't figure you for a teacher, either. 285 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,794 -Good-bye. 286 00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:34,347 TOM: Good-bye. 287 00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:22,222 [channels changing] 288 00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:28,573 -Looking for something? 289 00:16:28,608 --> 00:16:30,575 Or, uh, you just want to see if the thing works? 290 00:16:37,065 --> 00:16:39,412 Have you got any money? 291 00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:40,654 -Yeah. 292 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:44,451 Why, did you spend all yours on replacing pajamas? 293 00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:45,556 -No, wiseacre. 294 00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:46,626 I'm going to be out of town all next week, 295 00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:48,076 and I thought you might get hungry. 296 00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:56,153 -Look, you kids don't wait up for me. 297 00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:58,396 Remember, tomorrow's a school day. 298 00:16:58,431 --> 00:17:00,536 -Where are you going? 299 00:17:00,571 --> 00:17:01,434 -Out. 300 00:17:01,468 --> 00:17:03,332 -Where's out? 301 00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:03,884 -Not in. 302 00:17:07,854 --> 00:17:11,789 [club music playing] 303 00:17:45,995 --> 00:17:47,928 -Nice place, terrific service. 304 00:17:47,963 --> 00:17:50,276 I bet the escargot is excellent. 305 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:51,104 -You want friendly? 306 00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:53,106 Go to Pizza Hut. 307 00:17:53,141 --> 00:17:54,521 -Whoa. 308 00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:56,420 Bizarre seats at the U2 concert. 309 00:17:56,454 --> 00:17:58,318 Jeffrey, I'm a happy girl. 310 00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,734 Who's your friend? 311 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:03,289 -Karla, like, I'm happy you're happy, OK? 312 00:18:03,323 --> 00:18:04,738 But I'm busy. 313 00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:05,463 -I'm Karla. 314 00:18:05,498 --> 00:18:07,879 Stop by and ruin me. 315 00:18:07,914 --> 00:18:09,364 -Forget it. 316 00:18:09,398 --> 00:18:12,539 Chick's a poster child for ludes. 317 00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:13,540 -Did you bring it? 318 00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:26,381 Oh, my boyfriend's gonna go nuts. 319 00:18:26,415 --> 00:18:28,141 -Your boyfriend is nuts. 320 00:18:28,176 --> 00:18:31,282 -They're a great item. 321 00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:32,421 JEFFREY: You lost out, man. 322 00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:34,113 That was my last one. 323 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,976 Your girlfriend would've loved it. 324 00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:38,151 -I'll buy her a corsage. 325 00:18:38,186 --> 00:18:39,980 Look, this place stinks, man. 326 00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:42,155 You should finish your beer, and let's hit the road. 327 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,122 -I don't drink. 328 00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:52,027 JEFFREY: That's Chadwick. 329 00:18:52,061 --> 00:18:54,202 She likes to read in bed. 330 00:18:54,236 --> 00:18:55,168 TOM: So what do you do? 331 00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:56,652 You spy on her? 332 00:18:56,687 --> 00:18:58,413 -Man's gotta have his hobbies, Gilmore. 333 00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:10,321 TOM: Where are we going? 334 00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:11,288 -Relax, Gilmore. 335 00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:13,773 I'm driving this tour vessel. 336 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:14,601 -Yeah? 337 00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:16,741 Well, so far, the tour stinks. 338 00:19:16,776 --> 00:19:20,124 -Well then, let's go someplace with a good view. 339 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,954 -OK. 340 00:19:22,989 --> 00:19:24,335 -Hold it up, Gilmore. 341 00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:34,207 If ever you need to change an attendance record, 342 00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:39,419 a grade, whatever-- you push back these four screws. 343 00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:41,939 You pull up the exhaust fan cover. 344 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:42,871 Bammo, you're in. 345 00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:43,527 Follow me. 346 00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:48,670 How about this, view, huh? 347 00:19:48,704 --> 00:19:50,223 -Yeah, it's nice. 348 00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:52,708 What the hell are we doing up here? 349 00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:55,332 -Getting away from down there. 350 00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:58,852 -And away from what exactly? 351 00:19:58,887 --> 00:20:02,062 -Stop, Gilmore. 352 00:20:02,097 --> 00:20:16,422 Adult paranoia, state championships, senior dances, 353 00:20:16,456 --> 00:20:16,939 Cambodia. 354 00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:26,880 So what did you get? 355 00:20:26,915 --> 00:20:28,641 -What? 356 00:20:28,675 --> 00:20:31,230 -Man, who do you think you're dealing with? 357 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,715 You resold those Van Halen tickets, didn't you? 358 00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:37,477 -How'd you know that? 359 00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:39,272 -Come on, Gilmore. 360 00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:42,620 You never listened to Van Halen in your life. 361 00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:43,242 I know people. 362 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:49,282 That's my talent. 363 00:20:49,317 --> 00:20:54,045 Some guys are good with basketball. 364 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,911 I'm good with people. 365 00:20:57,946 --> 00:21:00,086 Look, it's all right. 366 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:04,055 Even if they were a gift, I don't mind. 367 00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:07,058 Besides, there ain't nothing in the book that 368 00:21:07,093 --> 00:21:09,129 says you can't sell anything that's yours. 369 00:21:12,478 --> 00:21:15,308 Maybe we can go into business together. 370 00:21:15,343 --> 00:21:18,311 -You think so, huh? 371 00:21:18,346 --> 00:21:20,209 Split all that lunch money between us. 372 00:21:20,244 --> 00:21:22,211 Wow. 373 00:21:22,246 --> 00:21:27,803 Concert tickets, CDs, and anything else you can move. 374 00:21:27,838 --> 00:21:30,219 I dunno, pretty big time stuff. 375 00:21:30,254 --> 00:21:36,295 But, uh, it'd bore me. 376 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,330 MALE SPEAKER: Steee-rike! 377 00:21:37,365 --> 00:21:38,020 -[YELLING] Stike? 378 00:21:38,055 --> 00:21:38,987 -[YELLING] Yeah! 379 00:21:39,021 --> 00:21:39,953 -[YELLING] Strike, man? 380 00:21:39,988 --> 00:21:40,506 -[YELLING] Are you crazy? 381 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:41,438 Are you crazy? 382 00:21:41,472 --> 00:21:42,404 -[YELLING] I need an elevator to-- 383 00:21:42,439 --> 00:21:45,165 [shouting] 384 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,029 -C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, come on guys. 385 00:21:47,064 --> 00:21:47,720 Come on, Harry. 386 00:21:47,754 --> 00:21:48,652 MALE SPEAKER: Play ball. 387 00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:49,618 MALE SPEAKER: Kids. 388 00:21:49,653 --> 00:21:50,895 -OK, Harry. 389 00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:53,242 According to revised municipal code, no person below 390 00:21:53,277 --> 00:21:54,589 the age of-- 391 00:21:54,623 --> 00:21:58,800 -18 will not be granted a permit to own a gun without written 392 00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,457 consent by a parent or guardian. 393 00:22:00,491 --> 00:22:02,079 TOM: And unless that parent or guardian 394 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:04,633 has a felony conviction within the last seven years. 395 00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,359 -Hey, I was getting to that part, Hanson. 396 00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:07,187 -Good eye, Harry. 397 00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:08,292 Wait for you pitch. 398 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,363 -Hey, you guys might have invented the game, 399 00:22:10,398 --> 00:22:12,296 but we perfected it. 400 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,022 -Yeah. 401 00:22:14,056 --> 00:22:16,990 Sushi and baseball both, right? 402 00:22:17,025 --> 00:22:18,716 JENKO: So how was your concert, bro? 403 00:22:18,751 --> 00:22:20,925 Was it radical, awesome, like wow? 404 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,030 -How would I know? 405 00:22:22,064 --> 00:22:23,480 I never listened to Van Halen in my life. 406 00:22:23,514 --> 00:22:27,000 Got that from an expert. 407 00:22:27,035 --> 00:22:29,244 I think the Jeffrey Stone might be our guy. 408 00:22:29,278 --> 00:22:32,696 A real loner, part-time junior vampire. 409 00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:34,801 Spends his nights spying on his English teacher 410 00:22:34,836 --> 00:22:38,909 and hanging out on the school's roof. 411 00:22:38,943 --> 00:22:41,256 Tries to be a hard guy. 412 00:22:41,290 --> 00:22:43,154 Huge campaign, but not a lot of votes. 413 00:22:43,189 --> 00:22:44,604 -Any priors? 414 00:22:44,639 --> 00:22:45,640 -Not really. 415 00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:47,642 Just a felony-sized chip on shoulder. 416 00:22:47,676 --> 00:22:49,678 Problems at home, things like that. 417 00:22:49,713 --> 00:22:52,094 I'm not even sure the stuff he sells is hot. 418 00:22:52,129 --> 00:22:53,199 He thinks I'm a player. 419 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:02,450 -Oh, wait. 420 00:23:02,484 --> 00:23:03,140 I'm sorry. 421 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,106 I didn't order that. 422 00:23:04,141 --> 00:23:05,522 TOM: I did. 423 00:23:05,556 --> 00:23:08,766 Mind if I join you? 424 00:23:08,801 --> 00:23:10,596 Well, actually, I'm a little busy right now. 425 00:23:10,630 --> 00:23:13,115 And-- and you really shouldn't be buying a drink. 426 00:23:13,150 --> 00:23:13,771 -I didn't. 427 00:23:13,806 --> 00:23:15,186 I bought it for me. 428 00:23:15,221 --> 00:23:18,051 Besides, it's a Coke. 429 00:23:18,086 --> 00:23:20,882 -What did you do, spill the first one? 430 00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:21,572 -It's raining. 431 00:23:21,607 --> 00:23:23,540 -It's raining? 432 00:23:23,574 --> 00:23:24,437 Oh, great. 433 00:23:24,472 --> 00:23:25,265 I walked here. 434 00:23:28,234 --> 00:23:30,857 -So this is kind of a strange place to be grading papers, 435 00:23:30,892 --> 00:23:31,858 don't you think? 436 00:23:31,893 --> 00:23:33,170 -Not when you consider most of them 437 00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:35,586 were written at a Twisted Sister concert. 438 00:23:35,621 --> 00:23:37,899 -See, I didn't figure you for a Twisted Sister fan. 439 00:23:37,933 --> 00:23:40,453 -Listen, I thought we were going to forget out first meeting. 440 00:23:42,697 --> 00:23:43,974 -What meeting? 441 00:23:44,008 --> 00:23:45,424 -Tom, I just don't want you to have 442 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,632 the wrong impression of me. 443 00:23:49,393 --> 00:23:52,948 I mean, to be honest with you, I was attracted to you, 444 00:23:52,983 --> 00:23:56,573 but it wasn't really you I was attracted to. 445 00:23:56,607 --> 00:23:58,920 -Who was it? 446 00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:00,853 You know, there's someone running around town, 447 00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:02,199 looks just like me. 448 00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:07,376 Big guy, dark hair, eats with his fingers, lousy dancer. 449 00:24:07,411 --> 00:24:08,377 Horrible. 450 00:24:08,412 --> 00:24:09,793 The worst. 451 00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:11,553 Terrible. 452 00:24:11,588 --> 00:24:18,595 -What I'm trying to say is if things were suddenly different, 453 00:24:18,629 --> 00:24:22,771 and we really were those two people back there, who knows? 454 00:24:22,806 --> 00:24:25,912 But we're not. 455 00:24:25,947 --> 00:24:26,672 I'm your teacher. 456 00:24:26,706 --> 00:24:29,329 You're my student. 457 00:24:29,364 --> 00:24:30,227 Teacher, student. 458 00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:31,504 See? 459 00:24:31,539 --> 00:24:32,643 -OK, fine. 460 00:24:32,678 --> 00:24:36,405 But the next time I get a flat tire, don't stop. 461 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,065 And if you do, don't be so damn cute. 462 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:41,928 Darn cute. 463 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:50,281 -I bet you're going to grow up to be a biology teacher. 464 00:24:50,316 --> 00:24:51,075 -I am grown up. 465 00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:56,874 Look, Miss Chadwick, I walked in the door, 466 00:24:56,909 --> 00:24:59,498 I saw you sitting here, I thought I'd come by and say hi. 467 00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:00,671 That was all there was to it. 468 00:25:00,706 --> 00:25:04,779 I mean, uh, just relax, OK? 469 00:25:11,026 --> 00:25:12,545 A biology teacher? 470 00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:26,283 There's just one more thing I should ask you, 471 00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:27,456 strictly student to teacher. 472 00:25:31,391 --> 00:25:33,704 Is this why I found Roquefort dressing on my book report? 473 00:25:36,673 --> 00:25:37,605 -Probably. 474 00:25:37,639 --> 00:25:38,122 -OK. 475 00:25:56,969 --> 00:25:59,454 [stadium crowd cheering] 476 00:26:08,946 --> 00:26:11,915 [crowd booing] 477 00:27:06,763 --> 00:27:08,281 -Thanks again for the ride. 478 00:27:08,316 --> 00:27:09,317 -Well, it's flu season. 479 00:27:09,351 --> 00:27:10,663 You can't be too careful. 480 00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,113 -I had fun. 481 00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:14,633 Thanks. 482 00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:15,599 Good night. 483 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:18,084 -G'night. 484 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:25,022 -You know, there's something about you that doesn't fit. 485 00:27:25,057 --> 00:27:28,508 -Well, maybe you don't have all the pieces yet. 486 00:27:28,543 --> 00:27:29,475 -Oh, really? 487 00:27:29,509 --> 00:27:30,959 -Really. 488 00:27:30,994 --> 00:27:34,894 So you need a date for the prom? 489 00:27:34,929 --> 00:27:36,068 -Seven years ago, thank you. 490 00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:07,720 [music playing] 491 00:28:29,535 --> 00:28:30,536 -Hey. 492 00:28:30,570 --> 00:28:32,124 Never work that deep without a snorkel. 493 00:28:32,158 --> 00:28:34,091 You can damage the brain. 494 00:28:34,126 --> 00:28:37,923 -According to municipal code, a quarry located within the city 495 00:28:37,957 --> 00:28:41,720 limits must be enclosed with a wooden or wire fence, 496 00:28:41,754 --> 00:28:43,100 and not last-- 497 00:28:43,135 --> 00:28:45,344 -And not lasting more than six feet above the existing grate. 498 00:28:45,378 --> 00:28:47,001 But don't worry, we don't have quarries. 499 00:28:47,035 --> 00:28:48,485 Relax. 500 00:28:48,519 --> 00:28:50,245 How's it going? 501 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,868 -I breezed through my written. 502 00:28:51,902 --> 00:28:53,214 Got my oral Thursday. 503 00:28:53,248 --> 00:28:57,425 And then after that, Sergeant Ioki. 504 00:28:57,459 --> 00:29:00,980 So Jenk wants to see you in his office. 505 00:29:01,015 --> 00:29:03,155 Your alma mater was hit again last night. 506 00:29:03,189 --> 00:29:05,191 $2,000 worth of desk calculators. 507 00:29:05,226 --> 00:29:05,709 -Terrific. 508 00:29:14,718 --> 00:29:15,754 -Jenko, man, I'm sorry. 509 00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:17,307 I never thought he'd hit again this soon. 510 00:29:17,341 --> 00:29:20,103 It just doesn't make any sense. 511 00:29:20,137 --> 00:29:23,313 -Hanson, guys who make a habit of camping out 512 00:29:23,347 --> 00:29:25,487 on school rooftops don't usually make much sense. 513 00:29:25,522 --> 00:29:27,248 -I thought I needed to give him some room. 514 00:29:27,282 --> 00:29:29,146 -Yeah, well, you gave him room. 515 00:29:29,181 --> 00:29:30,803 The principal of the school is screaming 516 00:29:30,838 --> 00:29:32,080 at our guy's downtown. 517 00:29:32,115 --> 00:29:34,324 And because of our crackerjack detection, 518 00:29:34,358 --> 00:29:37,534 he's going to be forced to hire an outside security firm. 519 00:29:37,568 --> 00:29:40,744 It's talk like that, pal, that can put our Jump Street program 520 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:41,952 right into the toilet. 521 00:29:46,923 --> 00:29:52,998 So what was that rooftop Romeo up to last night? 522 00:29:53,032 --> 00:29:55,034 A little, uh, window peeping on the teacher? 523 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,800 What does she look like, anyway? 524 00:30:01,834 --> 00:30:07,633 -Oh, she's, uh-- you know, I wasn't with stone. 525 00:30:07,667 --> 00:30:08,151 Last night. 526 00:30:08,185 --> 00:30:09,773 I was, uh, out. 527 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:11,292 -Where's out? 528 00:30:11,326 --> 00:30:12,672 -Out out. 529 00:30:12,707 --> 00:30:16,849 I, uh, had something to eat with a friend. 530 00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:18,644 -Who might that be, sport? 531 00:30:18,678 --> 00:30:20,784 -What do you mean, who? 532 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:23,683 -Well, I don't mean the Who, as in the rock group. 533 00:30:23,718 --> 00:30:26,652 I mean who as in what party were you with? 534 00:30:26,686 --> 00:30:29,310 Now, we know it wasn't our man Stone, 535 00:30:29,344 --> 00:30:32,934 as he was obviously occupied. 536 00:30:32,969 --> 00:30:38,181 -I was with my, uh, English teacher. 537 00:30:38,215 --> 00:30:41,563 -Ah, the teacher. 538 00:30:41,598 --> 00:30:44,635 Well, I hope you had a swell time. 539 00:30:44,670 --> 00:30:46,361 -I tried. 540 00:30:46,396 --> 00:30:47,880 -Ah, I bet you did. 541 00:30:47,915 --> 00:30:51,746 Diagram a few sentences, bub? 542 00:30:51,780 --> 00:30:52,712 -I'm sorry. 543 00:30:52,747 --> 00:30:53,886 -Hey. 544 00:30:53,921 --> 00:30:55,474 Hey, you're a person. 545 00:30:55,508 --> 00:30:58,304 You don't have to apologize for having a personal life. 546 00:30:58,339 --> 00:31:00,065 You should just always remember to have it 547 00:31:00,099 --> 00:31:02,722 on your two-week vacation each year. 548 00:31:02,757 --> 00:31:05,449 OK, now if you think you still have a case, 549 00:31:05,484 --> 00:31:08,728 maybe you should go pick up your buddy Stone. 550 00:31:08,763 --> 00:31:10,627 -Yeah. 551 00:31:10,661 --> 00:31:11,559 Okeedokee. 552 00:31:11,593 --> 00:31:12,042 -Okeedoke. 553 00:31:17,392 --> 00:31:18,359 -Chekhov. 554 00:31:18,393 --> 00:31:20,154 In addition to his many contributions 555 00:31:20,188 --> 00:31:23,882 to the world of theater-- which, I'm sure you all know, 556 00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:26,160 have received worldwide recognition-- 557 00:31:26,194 --> 00:31:28,956 was also a respected essayist. 558 00:31:28,990 --> 00:31:30,474 Excuse me just a second. 559 00:31:40,484 --> 00:31:42,176 -No, Jeffrey hasn't been in class today. 560 00:31:42,210 --> 00:31:44,523 -Was there a rose on your desk this morning? 561 00:31:44,557 --> 00:31:46,628 -Yes. 562 00:31:46,663 --> 00:31:48,492 But I'm sure it's just a harmless crush. 563 00:31:48,527 --> 00:31:50,046 -Harmless crush? 564 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,185 The guy is a thief. 565 00:31:51,219 --> 00:31:53,290 -Albert I'll handle this. 566 00:31:53,325 --> 00:31:55,051 -Would you come with us, Miss Chadwick? 567 00:32:03,335 --> 00:32:05,440 -Sir, I really don't think it's fair to just search 568 00:32:05,475 --> 00:32:06,441 a student's locker. 569 00:32:06,476 --> 00:32:08,340 -It's not only unfair, it's illegal. 570 00:32:08,374 --> 00:32:09,928 -Tom, please, stay out of this. 571 00:32:09,962 --> 00:32:11,205 -I'm already into it. 572 00:32:11,239 --> 00:32:12,516 -Well, you're going to get into a two-week's detention 573 00:32:12,551 --> 00:32:13,966 unless you get back to class. 574 00:32:14,001 --> 00:32:14,656 Open it. 575 00:32:14,691 --> 00:32:15,657 -Don't do this. 576 00:32:15,692 --> 00:32:16,969 -Tom. 577 00:32:17,004 --> 00:32:18,833 -I have to ask you not to open Jeffrey Stone's locker. 578 00:32:21,491 --> 00:32:22,388 I'm a police officer. 579 00:32:26,358 --> 00:32:29,568 That was one of the pieces missing. 580 00:32:29,602 --> 00:32:31,225 -What the hell is going on here? 581 00:32:31,259 --> 00:32:33,261 -If you open that locker without a legal warrant, 582 00:32:33,296 --> 00:32:34,953 it's illegal search and seizure. 583 00:32:34,987 --> 00:32:36,437 -A cop? 584 00:32:36,471 --> 00:32:37,438 Why wasn't I notified? 585 00:32:37,472 --> 00:32:39,336 -Because then it wouldn't be undercover. 586 00:32:39,371 --> 00:32:40,993 -And be able to harass the student body. 587 00:32:41,028 --> 00:32:44,893 -No, I pretty much stay from the student bodies. 588 00:32:44,928 --> 00:32:46,378 -Open it. 589 00:32:46,412 --> 00:32:47,551 -Not without probable cause. 590 00:32:47,586 --> 00:32:50,313 -What happened here last night is cause enough. 591 00:32:50,347 --> 00:32:52,142 Albert saw Stone's car in the parking lot 592 00:32:52,177 --> 00:32:53,868 before he opened the school this morning. 593 00:32:53,902 --> 00:32:56,905 -Then I saw him slinking around the halls over by here. 594 00:32:56,940 --> 00:32:59,184 I turned around, pfft, off he goes in his car. 595 00:32:59,218 --> 00:33:00,357 [school bell ringing] 596 00:33:00,392 --> 00:33:02,118 PRINCIPAL WEINTRAUB: I want Stone arrested. 597 00:33:02,152 --> 00:33:03,602 TOM: No. 598 00:33:03,636 --> 00:33:05,742 -I have every right as principal of the school to-- 599 00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:07,088 -Let me do my job, Mr. Weintraub. 600 00:33:07,123 --> 00:33:08,262 Don't be an idiot. 601 00:33:08,296 --> 00:33:09,332 -I don't know, Gilmore. 602 00:33:09,366 --> 00:33:11,679 That's asking a lot of him. 603 00:33:11,713 --> 00:33:13,888 Something I can do for you, gentlemen? 604 00:33:13,922 --> 00:33:17,547 Sell you some tickets to Van Halen? 605 00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:21,413 Tell ya what, I'll trade you two front row center 606 00:33:21,447 --> 00:33:24,036 seats for a stack of signed hall passes. 607 00:33:24,071 --> 00:33:27,039 -Open it. 608 00:33:27,074 --> 00:33:28,489 -Why? 609 00:33:28,523 --> 00:33:30,905 -Open you locker, Jeff. 610 00:33:30,939 --> 00:33:32,769 -Get a guy some fake ID, and wham, 611 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:36,773 he starts giving orders like an adult. 612 00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:38,119 -This one's not fake. 613 00:33:42,123 --> 00:33:45,851 -Why, you narc blossom. 614 00:33:45,885 --> 00:33:48,060 Very smooth routine, Gilmore. 615 00:33:48,095 --> 00:33:51,029 Very smooth indeed. 616 00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:54,549 For a while ther,e I thought you were just a jerk. 617 00:33:54,584 --> 00:33:59,382 But you're a professional jerk, right Gilmore? 618 00:33:59,416 --> 00:34:03,593 I betcha that isn't even your real name. 619 00:34:03,627 --> 00:34:06,389 -Open your locker, son. 620 00:34:06,423 --> 00:34:08,529 -Not without a warrant. 621 00:34:08,563 --> 00:34:10,876 Even the cub scout here will tell you that. 622 00:34:14,121 --> 00:34:17,227 But then again, I'll get a kick out of embarrassing him. 623 00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:37,627 Oh, come on. 624 00:34:37,661 --> 00:34:41,872 Would you please-- oh, this is the best part for you, 625 00:34:41,907 --> 00:34:42,839 Gilmore, right? 626 00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:43,771 -Right. 627 00:34:43,805 --> 00:34:46,118 -That's not my merchandise. 628 00:34:46,153 --> 00:34:47,188 It's too cheap. 629 00:34:47,223 --> 00:34:49,363 -Yeah, you only deal in quality gift items. 630 00:34:49,397 --> 00:34:50,709 -That's right. 631 00:34:50,743 --> 00:34:53,884 C'mon, you guys can do better than this. 632 00:34:53,919 --> 00:34:55,507 Try. 633 00:34:55,541 --> 00:34:57,474 I mean, at least for a Class A felony, eh? 634 00:34:57,509 --> 00:34:58,889 -Get him out of here. 635 00:34:58,924 --> 00:35:00,339 -You're under arrest. 636 00:35:00,374 --> 00:35:01,582 -I didn't do it. 637 00:35:01,616 --> 00:35:04,067 -You have the right to remain silent. 638 00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,621 Anything you say can and will be used against you 639 00:35:06,656 --> 00:35:07,519 in a court of law. 640 00:35:07,553 --> 00:35:09,521 You have the right to an attorney. 641 00:35:09,555 --> 00:35:11,488 If you give up that right-- 642 00:35:11,523 --> 00:35:14,974 [music playing] 643 00:35:23,431 --> 00:35:27,608 -Would it make any difference if I told you I didn't do it? 644 00:35:27,642 --> 00:35:29,023 Thanks for bailing me out. 645 00:35:29,057 --> 00:35:30,749 -You know, if I wasn't leaving for London in the morning, 646 00:35:30,783 --> 00:35:32,164 Jeffrey, believe me, I would have 647 00:35:32,199 --> 00:35:33,579 let you spend the night in there. 648 00:35:33,614 --> 00:35:34,753 -I didn't do it. 649 00:35:34,787 --> 00:35:36,134 -Don't lie to me, Jeffrey. 650 00:35:36,168 --> 00:35:37,238 -I don't lie to you, dad. 651 00:35:37,273 --> 00:35:38,066 Why should I? 652 00:35:38,101 --> 00:35:39,378 You don't even listen to me. 653 00:35:39,413 --> 00:35:41,760 -You know, it's not that I'm so angry about what you did. 654 00:35:41,794 --> 00:35:44,038 It's that you were dumb enough to get caught at it. 655 00:35:44,072 --> 00:35:45,177 -Right. 656 00:35:45,212 --> 00:35:46,696 If you return a profit, protect the bottom line. 657 00:35:46,730 --> 00:35:51,390 -Maybe next time, there won't be a bottom line. 658 00:35:51,425 --> 00:35:54,393 -How about if there's even no next time? 659 00:35:54,428 --> 00:35:56,395 [car starting] 660 00:36:00,917 --> 00:36:02,884 [knocking on a door] 661 00:36:05,404 --> 00:36:07,682 -Hi. 662 00:36:07,717 --> 00:36:08,925 Can I explain? 663 00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,616 -No. 664 00:36:10,651 --> 00:36:11,514 -Look, Miss Chadwick-- 665 00:36:11,548 --> 00:36:12,894 -Oh, don't call me Miss Chadwick. 666 00:36:12,929 --> 00:36:14,517 You sound ridiculous. 667 00:36:14,551 --> 00:36:15,311 You lied to me. 668 00:36:15,345 --> 00:36:15,897 -No. 669 00:36:15,932 --> 00:36:18,348 I misled you. 670 00:36:18,383 --> 00:36:20,419 And as weak as it sounds, I was only doing my job. 671 00:36:20,454 --> 00:36:22,110 -Oh, your job? 672 00:36:22,145 --> 00:36:24,043 A job that includes emotionally ripping off 673 00:36:24,078 --> 00:36:26,184 kids like Jeffrey Stone, and humiliating him 674 00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:28,255 in front of his peers? 675 00:36:28,289 --> 00:36:31,465 Is this part of your job, too? 676 00:36:31,499 --> 00:36:34,433 It's a pretty nice gift, but I don't impress that easy. 677 00:36:34,468 --> 00:36:36,297 -I didn't give you this. 678 00:36:36,332 --> 00:36:39,231 -The card was cute, but you spelled "Lord Byron" wrong. 679 00:36:39,266 --> 00:36:40,232 -I didn't give you this. 680 00:36:40,267 --> 00:36:42,096 When did you get it? 681 00:36:42,130 --> 00:36:44,478 -It was on my doorstep when I got home from school. 682 00:36:44,512 --> 00:36:45,375 Nice touch. 683 00:36:45,410 --> 00:36:47,757 Reminds me of 10th grade. 684 00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:49,793 Jeffrey would've given me tickets to Van Halen. 685 00:36:49,828 --> 00:36:51,416 -Oh yeah. 686 00:36:51,450 --> 00:36:52,934 You know one of his nightly stops 687 00:36:52,969 --> 00:36:54,660 was parking outside your bedroom window 688 00:36:54,695 --> 00:36:56,490 to watch you pick out your underwear? 689 00:36:56,524 --> 00:36:56,973 -What? 690 00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:58,526 -Yeah. 691 00:36:58,561 --> 00:37:01,598 But he didn't give you this CD, because he was sold out 692 00:37:01,633 --> 00:37:05,292 two nights ago, and he's been in jail since this afternoon. 693 00:37:05,326 --> 00:37:07,190 So, uh-- 694 00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,329 -Who did? 695 00:37:08,364 --> 00:37:10,504 -Not me. 696 00:37:10,538 --> 00:37:12,022 -And all the roses? 697 00:37:12,057 --> 00:37:14,853 -See, now those I wish I did give to you, you know? 698 00:37:14,887 --> 00:37:15,336 Gah. 699 00:37:23,171 --> 00:37:24,414 -What do you do? 700 00:37:24,449 --> 00:37:25,898 Go from high school to high school, 701 00:37:25,933 --> 00:37:27,383 picking up your English teachers? 702 00:37:27,417 --> 00:37:28,625 -Hey. 703 00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:30,282 I was the one with the flat tire. 704 00:37:30,317 --> 00:37:33,527 You were the one without the jack. 705 00:37:33,561 --> 00:37:34,459 -50-50 huh? 706 00:37:34,493 --> 00:37:35,253 -Oh, 60-40. 707 00:37:35,287 --> 00:37:37,462 I'm irresistible. 708 00:37:37,496 --> 00:37:38,048 And off-duty. 709 00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:38,635 How about you? 710 00:37:44,123 --> 00:37:47,265 -Boys didn't kiss like this when, uh, I was in high school. 711 00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:48,127 -That's a good thing. 712 00:37:48,162 --> 00:37:49,301 You never would've graduated. 713 00:37:58,345 --> 00:37:59,277 -What's wrong? 714 00:38:02,694 --> 00:38:05,628 -Well, if I didn't give you that compact disc player, 715 00:38:05,662 --> 00:38:09,459 and Stone didn't give it to you, maybe he 716 00:38:09,494 --> 00:38:12,255 didn't give you the roses, either. 717 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:15,085 Maybe someone else did. 718 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,433 -OK, maybe. 719 00:38:17,467 --> 00:38:19,573 -Which means maybe I busted the wrong guy. 720 00:38:33,449 --> 00:38:37,660 -That's my brother's trophy, Albert. 721 00:38:37,694 --> 00:38:41,077 Keep your hands off of it. 722 00:38:41,111 --> 00:38:42,492 -I was just cleaning it. 723 00:38:42,527 --> 00:38:44,391 -Clean the windows and empty the trash, 724 00:38:44,425 --> 00:38:47,463 but stay away from my brother's stuff. 725 00:38:47,497 --> 00:38:49,154 -What are you doing here? 726 00:38:49,188 --> 00:38:51,777 -That's a good question. 727 00:38:51,812 --> 00:38:53,952 What are you doing here? 728 00:38:53,986 --> 00:38:55,505 I bet you thought I was in jail. 729 00:38:55,540 --> 00:38:57,231 But you don't know what it's like to have 730 00:38:57,265 --> 00:38:58,681 a rich father, do you, Albert? 731 00:39:02,201 --> 00:39:07,828 Gotta tell ya, you're a lousy basketball player. 732 00:39:07,862 --> 00:39:09,139 I've been watching you. 733 00:39:09,174 --> 00:39:12,004 You're just as bad as when you played with my brother. 734 00:39:12,039 --> 00:39:15,214 You still stink. 735 00:39:15,249 --> 00:39:18,183 You set me up, you goof. 736 00:39:18,217 --> 00:39:20,047 It was you, man. 737 00:39:20,081 --> 00:39:22,739 See, I hang around here. 738 00:39:22,774 --> 00:39:26,778 Keeps me away from out there. 739 00:39:26,812 --> 00:39:30,022 I see everything. 740 00:39:30,057 --> 00:39:32,749 I saw it all. 741 00:39:32,784 --> 00:39:35,269 You stealing stuff. 742 00:39:35,303 --> 00:39:38,755 I figured it's none of my business, 743 00:39:38,790 --> 00:39:41,724 until I got busted for it. 744 00:39:41,758 --> 00:39:44,174 -What are you talking about? 745 00:39:44,209 --> 00:39:46,280 -Playing dumb? 746 00:39:46,314 --> 00:39:49,214 You're good at that, Albert. 747 00:39:49,248 --> 00:39:51,699 You're the one that put the stuff in my locker. 748 00:39:51,734 --> 00:39:54,944 You're the one that put the roses on Miss Chadwick's desk. 749 00:39:54,978 --> 00:40:02,779 And I'm going to tell old man Weintraub, the cops, 750 00:40:02,814 --> 00:40:05,161 even pretty little Miss Chadwick. 751 00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:08,578 -[YELLING] Don't you tell her anything, Kyle. 752 00:40:08,613 --> 00:40:11,029 -Kyle? 753 00:40:11,063 --> 00:40:13,825 That's my brother's name, you tardo. 754 00:40:13,859 --> 00:40:14,826 Oh, don't tell me. 755 00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:15,965 You don't remember him. 756 00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:17,829 He's the one that got you bumped to the bench. 757 00:40:20,487 --> 00:40:23,075 Bet ya Chadwick would love him. 758 00:40:23,110 --> 00:40:24,801 -[YELLING] You tell her, I'll kill you. 759 00:40:24,836 --> 00:40:25,975 -You? 760 00:40:26,009 --> 00:40:29,185 You can barely even mop these halls, pal. 761 00:40:29,219 --> 00:40:31,463 You're a tardo. 762 00:40:31,498 --> 00:40:33,465 My brother told me you went bat-- 763 00:40:47,962 --> 00:40:49,447 -[YELLING] Yeah, Kyle? 764 00:40:49,481 --> 00:40:50,413 Big shot. 765 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,414 You gotta play. 766 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:52,415 -[YELLING] I'm not Kyle! 767 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,244 I'm Jeffrey! 768 00:40:54,279 --> 00:40:55,418 -[YELLING] Drop it Janowitz. 769 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:57,385 Now. 770 00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:57,869 Now. 771 00:41:10,847 --> 00:41:12,815 [stadium cheers] 772 00:41:17,336 --> 00:41:18,303 -[YELLING] No! 773 00:41:18,337 --> 00:41:19,787 [shot clock buzzer] 774 00:41:23,308 --> 00:41:25,275 [STADIUM CHEERS, BASKETBALL BOUNCING] 775 00:41:31,765 --> 00:41:34,733 [crowd booing] 776 00:41:47,228 --> 00:41:53,994 -The guys who go to playoffs, they get the girls. 777 00:42:01,864 --> 00:42:03,555 They get a chance to win. 778 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,284 They get a life. 779 00:42:13,013 --> 00:42:18,984 The guys who are on the bench, they stay there forever. 780 00:42:32,791 --> 00:42:34,275 [handcuffs clinking] 781 00:42:50,706 --> 00:42:51,672 -Thanks. 782 00:42:51,707 --> 00:42:53,640 -Now what about the other stuff? 783 00:42:53,674 --> 00:42:54,986 Stolen? 784 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:57,229 -I bought it. 785 00:42:57,264 --> 00:42:58,679 -Why? 786 00:42:58,714 --> 00:42:59,611 -Why not? 787 00:43:02,510 --> 00:43:09,414 Look, uh, just for the record, I wasn't spying on Miss Chadwick. 788 00:43:09,448 --> 00:43:14,730 I was trying to get up enough nerve to ask her out on a date. 789 00:43:14,764 --> 00:43:17,284 Yeah, I guess you beat me to it, huh? 790 00:43:17,318 --> 00:43:20,149 -I guess I did. 791 00:43:20,183 --> 00:43:23,221 -Very smooth routine, Gilmore. 792 00:43:23,255 --> 00:43:24,912 Very smooth. 793 00:43:24,947 --> 00:43:25,499 I'm impressed. 794 00:43:28,053 --> 00:43:31,125 Remind me I owe you a couple of good seats next time 795 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,955 Springsteen comes in town. 796 00:43:32,989 --> 00:43:33,611 -You got it. 797 00:43:37,407 --> 00:43:38,408 -I'll see ya. 798 00:43:38,443 --> 00:43:40,859 -Yeah. 799 00:43:40,894 --> 00:43:44,345 [music playing] 800 00:43:59,706 --> 00:44:02,674 -OK, Kyle. 801 00:44:02,709 --> 00:44:04,124 This one's for you. 802 00:44:10,613 --> 00:44:12,580 [stadium crowd cheering] 803 00:44:20,519 --> 00:44:21,348 [car horn] 804 00:44:21,382 --> 00:44:22,004 -[YELLING] God! 805 00:44:22,038 --> 00:44:23,764 Hey, lizard breath! 806 00:44:23,799 --> 00:44:26,042 Didn't you see me pulling in here? 807 00:44:26,077 --> 00:44:27,043 Huh? 808 00:44:27,078 --> 00:44:28,562 You got a driver license or something? 809 00:44:28,596 --> 00:44:29,114 Geez. 810 00:44:29,149 --> 00:44:30,529 Get out of here! 811 00:44:34,568 --> 00:44:36,018 Geez. 812 00:44:36,052 --> 00:44:37,536 Everybody drives like a maniac. 813 00:44:47,201 --> 00:44:51,378 -An officer cannot engage in direct or indirect ownership 814 00:44:51,412 --> 00:44:54,208 of the, uh-- oral test. 815 00:44:54,243 --> 00:44:55,313 Oral test. 816 00:44:55,347 --> 00:44:58,109 -Around the corner, sixth floor elevator. 817 00:44:58,143 --> 00:45:03,631 -A convicted felon may not be issued a gun permit-- 818 00:45:03,666 --> 00:45:07,083 [phone ringing] 819 00:45:07,118 --> 00:45:08,567 MALE SPEAKER: Harry Truman Ioki? 820 00:45:08,602 --> 00:45:09,499 -Yes. 821 00:45:09,534 --> 00:45:10,811 -Are you ready for your oral exams? 822 00:45:10,846 --> 00:45:11,329 -Yes. 823 00:45:14,919 --> 00:45:16,403 -My driver's license. 824 00:45:23,755 --> 00:45:24,204 -Hi. 825 00:45:27,172 --> 00:45:28,139 Can I buy ya a drink? 826 00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:33,040 -Why don't we just stay in? 827 00:45:41,255 --> 00:45:45,255 [music playing]