-[screaming]
-Shut up!
Shut up!
-What do-- what do you want?
-Ask your little no color choir boy, huh?
-[screaming]
-You owe me six grand.
-Eddie, do you know these boys?
-Look, guys, I'll get it!
I-- I just need more time!
[alarm]
-Keep them away from me, huh?
I feel like a child molester.
-[screams]
-Oh, nice work, kid.
-This department's got an undercover program.
Every year, the department takes younger looking officers.
At least the younger-looking ones we think
can handle the pressure.
Teach them how to be teenagers again.
Then we send them out to various high schools,
where we can use a good man undercover.
-No thanks.
-Either this or I assign you to the desk at Parker Center
until you look old enough to be a cop.
-This is not a real impressive completion record, Bauer.
Seems like at Wilcox High, you threw a lot of interceptions.
-Come on, Waxer!
Leave me alone, man!
-You're gonna like it here at Amherst, boy.
You're gonna like it a lot if you like dying.
THEME SONG: We never thought of finding
a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.
You've gotta learn something when we meet you after school.
I said jump, down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us, cause there's no one else to call.
When it looks hopeless, a decision's what you need.
You better be ready cause you're running out of time.
I said jump, 21 Jump Street.
-[shouts] New York Giants.
Great runner.
-Guys, can we talk?
-Penhall!
-All right.
-Guys, look.
I'd really like to get done.
-Guys, can we get down to business here?
Guys, I'd really like to take care of this.
-Huh?
-Well, according to procedure, I'm supposed to debrief.
-Procedure?
Hey, man, I hate that word.
Sounds, uh, Republican or something.
-I am a Republican.
-Yeah, figures.
OK, time's up, gang.
-Bet this is the only precinct in the department that
has recess.
-Ha!
Consider it a break, buddy.
15 years ago, they had everybody meditate for an hour.
OK, buckaroos.
let's tell Jenko, daddy-o, what went
down at the schoolhouse today?
-In case anybody's baby gets constipated.
-You wish, man.
This stuff hasn't even taken his first step.
-I thought Parker Center wasn't gonna
front you the buy money until Thursday.
-Bureaucracy waits for no junkie, Jenk.
Now I got two large out of Hoffs' reserve,
and the suspect in question let me take the rest of it
under my arm.
I mean, this guy's not too bright.
-Good going, Harry.
I'll file a warrant in the morning.
We'll pick the creep up.
-And I share the collar, right?
Hey, Tojo, it was my two grand.
-Hanson, you stay out of trouble today?
-Notes?
What are you, like, related to Steve Garvey?
-Ahem.
6:45 AM, reported to Jump Street headquarters for roll call.
Captain Jenko then--
-I think we got all that part, Hanson.
We were there too, remember?
-Arrived Amherst High School at 8:37 and immediately
had an altercation with one Tyrell Thompson.
Altercation took place over proprietorship
of a parking spot.
No shots fired.
-Oh, good thing, Hanson.
You didn't have a gun.
-Thompson is commonly known as Waxer.
He's a repeat offender.
I got that from juvenile.
They know all about him.
And I'm almost certain that Waxer's
one of the suspects from that 211
that Officer Dunnigan and I investigated last week.
-[miming radio] 1 out on 12.
1 out on 12.
2-11, go to heaven.
4-15, if you know what I mean.
Get to the point!
-One of the victims, a Kenneth Weckerle,
is a student at Amherst.
Was observed by this officer being
extorted by Tyrell Thompson.
-I think that means squeezed.
-Well, apparently, Weckerle owes Thompson a lot of money.
-For what?
-That's what he's gonna find out, sweet britches.
-Yeah, and I can't believe it's a coincidence
that I was put into the same school
that Kenny Weckerle goes to.
-No, I tend to doubt it too, Hanson.
Unless you think I just got off tour
with the Monkees or something.
Of course it wasn't an accident.
I thought it would be time for you to cool out for a while,
not go in there and start rousting everybody in study
hall.
-Well, if Kenny would've made me as a cop,
it would have blown both the case and my cover.
-Man, never happen.
Nah.
Look, you and Ioki put a 24 hour stakeout on this kid.
And Harry, I guess you'd better take your car.
-Right.
-So Kenny Wecker-Wenker-what's-it doesn't
recognize your hotshot '68 in the school parking lot.
Comprende?
-Uh-huh.
-OK, class dismissed.
-Man, you know, I learned how to speak English
by watching Dragnet in reruns, right?
And I used to think that a stakeout was
what you did to get a sirloin to go.
Now, don't ask me what I thought assume the position meant.
Man, I hate this.
-I don't know.
We're in the field, you know?
I kind of enjoy it.
-You would.
You're a cop, aren't you?
Like your old man.
You know, I heard he was pretty hard.
He won the Medal of Valor and everything.
What did he win it for?
-Getting killed.
-Some college.
The kid's a newspaper boy.
[alarms]
-I don't believe it.
The little jerk's doing smash and grabs.
-All right!
Time to lose the deuce.
-Hey, go easy, Ioki!
I think we're just supposed to follow him.
-It's a 459, and I need the collar. [inaudible].
[honk]
-Pull over, Ioki!
It's one of ours!
-Man, he's getting away.
-Get your hands where I can see them and freeze!
-Wait a minute!
Don't shoot!
I'm a cop!
-Says who?
-Says me.
-Hanson.
I should have known.
I didn't recognize you without the bandage
on your partner's nose.
-The meter, or the rhyme, if you will,
of a well written sentence gives us, the writer, the, uh,
poetic platform to, in fact, uh, launch the literary passion
that we, the writers, intended.
Can, uh, anyone tell me another reason
we might choose to diagram a sentence?
Anyone?
Just raise your hand.
Right here.
Uh, uh, David Gubble.
-Huh?
[laughter]
-Good morning, Mr. Gubble.
Might you tell the rest of the class
another reason why we might want to learn
how to diagram a sentence?
-So you can draw celery?
-I'll take that, Mr. Bauer.
I'm sure the rest of the class here
is breathless with interest concerning your liaison.
Read it aloud.
-Come on, man.
It's personal.
-I'm not your man, Mr. Bauer.
Read it, or get ready for extra innings with Mr. Schaefer.
-Dear Tom, I hope you're enjoying Mr. Lan's lecture
on diagramming sentences as much as I am.
If you need any study help, I'll be glad--
-"Hi.
My name is Wendy, and I love to party.
[laughter]
I'll meet you after school.
If you have a car, just tell me where it's at."
Oh, brilliantly written, Miss Meyers.
No, brilliant.
But in my classroom, we like to refrain
from ending a sentence with a preposition.
If you have a car, just tell me where it's at?
Help her out, Mr. Bauer.
-OK, it's in the student lot, a blue '68 Mustang.
-With the prepositional problem at the end of the sentence,
genius.
For example, if you were to ask me,
because you're new here at school, where the cafeteria is
at, how would you ask it properly?
-Where's the cafeteria at, schmoe?
[bell ringing]
-I have been filled in on your potential as a problem
here at Amherst.
So in my own way, I'd like to contribute
to your rehabilitation.
Instead of giving that, uh, wise mouth
of yours a week's detention, I prefer a more civil approach.
Welcome to the drama club.
I'm gonna be directing Rip Van Winkle this year,
and if you don't come out for the school play,
I'm sure I can get Jake Schaefer to assign
you a more barbaric reprisal.
-Look, Wendy, uh, I think you're nice and all, but--
-Nice?
My mom thinks I'm a tramp.
So I like guys.
I mean, big deal.
It's normal.
Like I got a lot of hormonal activity going on
in my glands or something.
But she makes me watch all these things on public TV,
you know, about teenage pregnancy and venereal disease.
I'm like, I don't do that.
Except I have this friend-- I won't tell you her name.
Well, OK, OK.
So it's Sheila.
And anyway, she thought, like, that she had herpes,
but it was just a cold sore.
But a cold sore-- that's like herpes, right?
-Absolutely.
Same.
-Do you really have a Mustang?
-Yeah.
-That is so hot.
Where'd you get it?
-It was my dad's.
-Mine drives a Chrysler.
Yours must be really cool.
-Yeah, he was.
Look, Wendy, uh, I-- I already, uh, have a girlfriend.
-Lucky girl.
-Who?
-Your girlfriend.
You're a great kisser.
-Yeah, well, I didn't want you to go through life
without at least one, you know?
-Hey, pal, that's my girlfriend.
-Lucky guy.
She's a great kisser.
-For this year's school dramatic presentation,
I have selected Rip Van Winkle.
My fellow thespians, Rip Van Winkle is an American class--
-Hey, I ain't no Thespian, Mr. Lamb.
-No way, man.
You're a homo.
-All right, class.
Glad that you could make it, Mr. Bauer.
-Oh, yeah, I got hung up with Runa Beret.
After this, she fingers I'm gonna
be bigger than Paul Newman.
-In that case, maybe I should give you the lead.
-No, kidding.
-Fortunately for Washington Irving, so was I. Kenny.
Kenny!
-Hm?
-If you would, could you please read
through the play with Butch Cassidy here?
Kenny Weckerle, Tom Bauer.
-This place stinks!
Can't we do something with death in the title?
-All right, class, let's get into our rehearsal groups.
-Uh-oh.
-What are you, a hypnotist?
Quit staring, huh?
-Yeah.
-Where do you want to start?
-I-- I don't know.
Uh, I, uh, I don't know the play.
-You're lucky.
That thing could cure an insomniac.
Hey, do I know you?
-No, I'm new.
-No, I know I know you, man.
-No, you couldn't.
See, I'm from Wilcox.
-Yeah, I do.
You used to date my sister.
Half the guys at Wilcox have.
Kind of skinny, a real brat?
Noreen?
Got one of them Sid Vicious haircuts like yours?
-Oh, yeah, Noreen.
Yeah.
Nice girl.
-Wait until you live with her.
-Hey, need a ride home?
-No.
-Come on, it's no problem.
-What are you, a priest?
I don't need a ride.
-Hey, are you all right?
Is something wrong or something?
-Who wants to know?
-Forget it.
-Exactly.
-Hi.
I don't want any more trouble with your boyfriend, OK?
-Oh, he's not my boyfriend.
I just go out with him.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-OK.
I'm sorry I gotta tell you this.
You know your friend Sheila?
-Uh-huh.
-It was me who gave her the cold sore.
I like you and all, but it would be unfair if I didn't tell you.
I think I'm a carrier.
-Really?
-Yep.
Wounded in action during the sexual revolution.
But I'll give you a call when it goes into remission.
-Hey, look, I kinda already have a boyfriend.
Uh, let's just be friends, OK?
-OK.
-Yuck.
-Come on, boy.
Your daddy's Jag was just the interest.
I need you to pay the whole tab.
-Look, man, I'm working on it.
I told you.
-You better work on it faster.
This bank's got a steep rate.
-Leave him alone.
-Look, man, this is none of your problem.
Just get out of here, all right?
-But his problem's some of mine.
I've been waiting for you, boy.
-Leave him alone.
-You best chill.
This square's a business associate of mine.
-Would you shut up about that?
-Start worrying about yourself.
I'm gonna cut you a lesson now, boy.
Come on, get some of this.
You bad, come on.
-Hey!
Get out of here!
What the hell is going on here?
I told you two punks about this.
-Hey, hey, relax, Mr. Schaefer.
Me and my new buddy was just playing the dozens.
-Is that true?
-Oh yeah.
Guy's a real buddy.
-Hey, buddy.
I'll call you later.
-Please do.
-You know I will.
-Don't try pulling Waxer offside, Bauer.
He's a killer.
-Is he?
-Shazam, Captain Marvel.
How'd you get this so fast?
-An old friend of my dad's runs the night
shift down at records and IDs, so I got up early
and had him pull the file.
-A little extra credit, huh?
Good licks, bub.
-Listen to this.
In the last six weeks, there have
been 15 459s in the same area, all between 4:00 and 6:00 AM.
I thought for sure Kenny Weckerle was involved in drugs,
but, uh, now it looks more like a burglary ring.
-Maybe.
But then what where does this Waxer guy fit in?
I mean, he's playing the kid pretty hard.
Tried to beat him up, ripped off his old man's car.
-I still think we should pick Kenny up and book him.
Ioki and I can make a pretty good case.
IDed him at the scene and everything.
-Wait a minute.
Here's the deal.
We'll keep an eye on Scooter Weckerle.
You stick with Waxer.
I mean, it just seems to me it'd take
a lot more than a bunch of hot watches and cameras
to pay for that Ferrari he's driving.
Well, see you at the schoolhouse, son.
[phone ringing]
-Hey Waxer!
Waxer!
Hey, Waxer!
-Hey, Ray Ray.
Clarinet player's here.
What's up?
You don't like rap music?
-This better not be my dad's car.
-No, boy.
It's what's left of your daddy's car.
Ray Ray got three grand for the motor and tranny alone.
[laughing]
-Yeah, well, you're not pawning this.
This belonged to my dad.
-Don't push it.
-You owe me the difference for the rest of that car.
-I don't owe you nothing.
-We're square now, right?
Even?
-You can never get even, boy.
But this sure does improve the TRW.
[laughing]
-Hey, what's up with this guy, huh?
I mean, first we follow him from his house, right?
Then through some dump.
Then now what?
He's hungry?
-I'm going in there.
Now, look.
Waxer comes out, hit the horn twice and then follow him, OK?
-Hey, wait a minute, man.
Since when are you in charge of this mission?
-Since I'm the one undercover at Amherst.
But you're right.
I'm sorry.
What do you want?
-I don't want to hit the horn twice.
It's broken.
-What a surprise.
-You're late.
-Maybe you're early.
-You got the stuff?
-Relax, ace.
It's in my trunk.
How about some champagne?
-Sir?
-Oh, uh, give me a draft.
-We don't serve draft.
-OK, then give me a light.
Come on, Cisco, we've all seen the ad.
Bud Light, OK?
-How about some ID, Jack.
-This is all the ID I need, unless you
want me to report this dump to the alcohol beverage
commission, see about pulling your license.
-Uh, Bud Light?
-Right.
-[whistling]
-Police emergency!
Officer Tom Hanson!
-Let me guess.
Follow that car?
-That's right.
-Forget it.
-What?
This is police business!
Let's roll!
-Take a bus.
-Hey, pal, it's in my jurisdictional right
to commandeer this taxicab!
-Commandeer this, pal.
-[inaudible].
The other half is yours.
I'll fix the ticket.
-Gee, anything you say, commander.
Hold on.
[honk]
-Wouldn't be related to a guy named Ioki, would you?
-Is he Italian?
[screeching brakes]
-Hey, son of a bitch.
That's my car!
You crazy, man!
Here I am stopping for the red light, and-- Hey, what is this?
What are you doing here?
You following me, boy?
[gunshot]
-Follow him!
[phone ringing]
-Yeah?
-Jenko.
Yeah, this is Hanson.
Look, uh, we messed up.
-What happened?
-Waxer made a vehicle switch with some guy.
Ioki followed him.
1925 High Park, Suit 310.
Name on the door is Benitovich.
I followed Waxer in a cab.
-Yeah?
And?
-Well, we kind of ran into him.
He saw me and then took off.
Shots were fired.
-You OK?
-Yeah, but I don't think the taxi's gonna make it.
-Hey, forget the taxi.
Taxis are easier to come by than good cops.
Listen, uh, pick up the Weckerle kid.
-What charge?
-I'll call in for a Rami warrant on that 459.
Cause, uh, Waxer, he's gonna want to shut him up.
And we'll package that dude in High Park tomorrow morning.
OK?
How's the deuce?
-The best.
-What's up, Kenny?
-What do you want?
-What makes you think I want something?
You done good for me, Kenny.
You made me some money, you got straight.
You're starting to work out.
And I figure like any good businessman,
a little private participation among my employees
will keep morale high.
Speedball this mix.
It's the best.
-OK, I'm gonna tag up with Jenk, all right?
-All right.
-Hey, you're in my English class, right?
-Yeah.
-Loved your hurrah, man.
Made Lamb look like a goon.
-Oh, thanks.
You know a guy named Weckerle?
Kenny Weckerle?
-I know his sister better. [laughs]
-Well, have you seen him around?
-No.
Sorry, man.
-Hello?
-Well, George, while I was in my office today,
I heard a funny sound.
And what do you think it was?
[fart]
[laughter]
-It was your mother chopping wood.
-Is Kenny Weckerle in here?
-Mr. Bauer.
Nice of you to join us, considering you
are in the play.
-Forget the play!
Has anybody seen him?
-Yeah, I saw him down by the gym.
He was, uh, probably sniffing sneakers or something.
[laughter]
-All right, class.
-Kenny!
Give me the paramedics, boys' locker room.
Who cares who is?
Get the paramedics down here, or somebody dies.
-Freeze!
-Stay down!
-The man said freeze.
You're under arrest, man.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
You have the right at this time to talk to a lawyer
and have them present with you while you're being questioned.
-You understand?
Freeze!
-Look, Hanson, the kid was shooting junk.
It had to happen.
-If Waxer hadn't have put me with Kenny,
he wouldn't have given him a hot shot.
-Look, somebody does drug, they're gonna die.
Maybe right away, maybe after a whole lot of pain,
but they're going to die.
You can bust all the dealers you want, man.
The thing is, you've got to bust the Jones.
-Noreen wanted us to tell you that she loves you
and she's real sorry.
-Kenny, we're all sorry.
-For what?
You had nothing to do with it?
-Oh yes we did.
-What is it with parents, man?
It's got more do with who's cool than what kind of mom and dad
you got stuck with.
-Could you excuse us, please?
-Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Gonna play golf with you this Sunday, kiddo.
Just you and the old man.
OK?
-I hear you're a cop.
That stinks!
Some kind of double agent, huh?
Blowing in your buddies.
-You're not my buddy.
-Oh, breaking my heart.
-Yeah, but I saved your life anyway.
-Who said I was gonna die?
-10 ccs of China white speedballing with pure flake?
Waxer was trying to kill you, man.
He figured I was a cop and that I was onto you.
-Then maybe you and my old man should get together
and split the cost of this room.
Ow!
Spittle!
-Now maybe I can't save your tail, man.
Maybe I don't even want to.
But I want Waxer's!
-[crying]
-You don't tell me where I can find him,
I'm gonna kick it until you do.
Buddy to buddy.
[knocking]
-Yeah?
What's up?
-I'm looking for some OG named Waxer.
-Save the red eye.
-Who's he?
-Relax.
Dude's sprung.
-Who is it?
-Some fresh looking freak.
And a gray boy.
-I'll say.
What do you want?
-I need an eight-track.
I heard you're up on that.
-Says who?
-Original gangster, my eye.
We're out of here, baby.
Come on.
-You got the ducats?
-All right, you can come in.
But the gray boy stays outside.
-Damn, she's not supposed to go in alone.
-How you know I'm dealing, girl?
-You know, man, I just figured you buy all the fancy cars
with your lunch money.
-Cool it, Jude.
-Yo, Hanson.
-Yeah, Jenk.
-Broken play.
Hoffs went in alone.
-Four for three.
-$200 here.
My friend outside has the rest.
-Hold on!
Hey, girl.
What's this?
-Run in!
[gunshots]
-Hoffs!
-Yeah, I'm all right!
-Drop the weapon, son.
Drop it, now.
[gunshots]
[music playing]
-You're under arrest.
-You're not man enough, boy.
-You're under arrest, Tyrell.
[sirens]
-OK, buddy.
Get going.
OK.
Let's go.
-Whoo, and they say white boys ain't fast.
-Funny.
Hey, I didn't finish.
Runi was right.
Someone's gotta finish or we blow it on a Miranda!
-Hanson, I swear, you never quit being a cop, do you?
Never.
I like that in a man.
-Hey, you OK?
-Yeah.
-Huh?
Good work, Tom.
-Thanks.
-You sure you all right?
-Yeah.
-Listen, OK, go on home.
Get some Zs.
-All right.
Hey, Jenk.
You know, I'm starting to like Telli.
What's her deal?
-Hey, don't sweat it, man.
You'd never make the weight.
-Yeah, don't bet on it.
-Except for the parallel parking part of the driver's test,
I almost got a perfect score.
-Oh, wait a minute here.
I mean, I didn't bring my crash helmet, honey.
-Hey, I'm a good driver.
-OK, I'm sorry.
-Anyway, Mom and Dad thought you might get a kick out
of me driving you home.
-What, they don't want to come?
-Of course.
But, uh, well, they wanted to make
sure they didn't start laying all kinds of stuff on you
right away.
-I guess parents kind of do that sort of thing
because they love you, huh?
-Yeah.
It's been hard on them.
Probably almost as hard as it's been on you.
-I'm gonna be OK.
-I know.
-Will you give me a minute, huh?
-Yeah, sure.
-You still talking to me?
-Sure.
-That's great.
-Even though I'm a cop?
-Especially because you're a cop.
-Look, Kenny, you know, a guy messes up
once, it doesn't mean his whole life is over.
Happens to everybody.
-Ever happen to you?
-All the time.
You take care of yourself, OK?
-Hey, Hanson.
Thanks.
-Hey, Kenny.
Say hi to your sister for me.
-I mean, I heard of lucky before,
but Hanson's ridiculous.
He's been here less than a week, and already he's
busted some major dealer who had Waxer working Kenny Weckerle
over on a cocaine payroll, running a burglary ring.
That's three collars!
Count 'em!
We could betray.
Then Kenny's in a drug rehab, and
another middle American family is
saved from the jaws of drugs and destruction.
Hanson's gonna end up with a gold star on his first report
card and get all the glory!
Are we gonna let him get away with that?
Oh.
-I didn't know we got report cards, Doug.
-Usually, Hanson, when Penhall complains that much
about another cop, it means he's impressed.
And you should be.
-Well, if he's not, I am.
Good work, man.
-OK, OK, so I'm impressed.
But don't let them in on it.
I got a rep to protect, you know?
-I know.
Is Jenko in?
I want to debrief.
-Debrief?
Hanson, it's Friday night.
-So?
-So nobody debriefs on Friday night.
-Why not?
-Well, now, there, then.
What did you do?
Win a field trip to Grosse Pointe?
-Off duty.
I'm trying to leave my work at the office.
-Oh yeah?
Groovy.
What you got in that box?
Oh.
-Well, I figured maybe I can sit in with you guys for a set.
-You?
You gonna sit in with us?
You?
-Yeah, if you can keep up.
-Say what?
Hey, don't strain yourself, bro!
[theme music]